“Vampires don’t settle old scores, we harbor them”

-Interview with the Vampire

Alex sprayed the small bottle of holy water mixed with garlic around the edge of her door frame again, her silver spelling bee medal from eight grade dangling around her neck as she monster-proofed her bedroom. The medal was just silver plated, but it would have to do, a quick internet search had revealed that silver bullets were far out of her price range, as were crossbows.

Pull it together Alex, she told herself, her heart pounding as her anxiety flared, they might be monsters but they’re still your friends, we have nothing to fear but fear-

The door to her room opened and she screamed, dropping her squirt bottle and diving under her bed. She heard footsteps across her room, then someone grabbed her ankle, pulling as she begged and cried.

“PLEASE DON’T EAT ME, I’M-“

She blinked, seeing the scowling face of Brendan’s ex, Candy, looking down at her, “What the fuck are you doing you freak?” she spat, releasing Alex’s ankle and crossing her arms.

“Oh, Candy,” Alex sighed with relief, never thought I’d be excited to see her!

“Where’s Brendan?” she demanded, “that little shit didn’t pay my Netflix and I’m halfway through Stranger Things.”

“H-He’s not here,” Alex stammered, “he uh, he works nights now?”

“Where?” Candy shouted angrily, causing Alex to flinch.

A vampire’s lair, “I don’t know!” Alex whined, “p-please-“

“Fucking useless,” Candy growled, kicking her once in the side and causing Alex to cry out in pain as she walked back into the living room. She looked over and spotted Brendan’s door, and with a snarl she kicked it open.

“H-Hey, stay out of his room!” Alex moaned, but she didn’t bother chasing the other woman.

Candy just glanced around the messy bedroom, scowling at the starship models, fucking geek, she thought, rolling her eyes. There’s got to be a clue here… she glanced at his desk, then frowned, spotting an ornate red inked note that seemed out of place among Brendan’s homework pages and notes.

She plucked it up and began reading, her eyes lighting up with anger, “that little shit!” she whispered under her breath, he’d been seeing a girl!? She scowled angrily, Eternal Mistress Valeria Tepes… Mistress? She chuckled to herself, sounds like the little puke is into S&M now… 1313 Wormwood Avenue huh? Time to pay this Valeria bitch a visit!

“H-Hey, stop!” Alex muttered weakly, watching Candy stomp her way across the living room.

“Fuck off gamer girl, I’m going to get my man back,” Candy laughed, slamming the door on her way out.

Alex gulped, trying to think of what to do. Brendan was possibly one of the undead now, but… well, she wouldn’t send Candy after her worst enemy. Scurrying back to her room Alex grabbed her phone and began dialing.

…

Valeria sipped at her tea as Brendan carried the books she’d requested down from her bedroom. He grunted under the weight, several of the volumes were simple mass market productions, but others were ancient tomes from the old country, in languages long forgotten.

“Okay, here you go,” he said, laying the books out for her. He frowned at her a moment, “you can drink tea?”

She blinked, looking down at the steaming cup, “Vhy vouldn’t I?” she asked quizzically.

“I guess I just thought vampires couldn’t like… eat or drink stuff,” he muttered.

Valeria just laughed, “I can eat and drink,” she said, taking another sip, “it does not sustain me, but can bring pleasure at times.”

“Yeah, I think I get it,” he laughed, “so, what are we reading up on here?”

“Verevolves,” Valeria muttered.

“Werewolves?” Brendan asked, raising an eyebrow, “so the Stokerville Wolf is…”

“You are vorking for a vampire and you doubt the existence of this creature?” Valeria asked, a playful smirk on her face.

“Fair point, so we shoot it with a silver bullet, case closed,” Brendan said, sitting down next to her.

“Bleh,” Valeria said, a grimace over her face, “have some heart Brendan! Vould you shoot poor little me just for being out at night?”

“Uh, I guess not,” he muttered, “but aren’t werewolves dangerous?”

“Like most useful things, yes,” Valeria said, setting her teacup down and picking up a book. She opened the page, revealing a flowing handwritten latin script, “I have been folloving the creatures at night, they seem rambunctious, but they do not harm anyone that I have seen. Volves have ever been some of mother’s most useful servants, I vould have my own.”

“Creatures? As in plural?” Brendan asked, suddenly nervous.

“Two, vun seems… newer, uncertain of himself in vulpine form,” Valeria muttered, scanning the page, “vhat I hope to do is establish dominance over the pair vithout hurting them overmuch… I vill need you to distract vun vhile I challenge the alpha.”

“You want me to distract a werewolf?” Brendan asked, “I uh…” he gulped. “Valeria, I er…”

“You vill be fine,” she laughed, snapping the book shut and walking to the kitchen. He watched, curiously, as she opened the cabinet beneath the sink, and a moment later came out with a spray bottle of some cleaning chemical or another, the label so ancient that it had turned a yellow-white and started to peel. Valeria unscrewed the top, dumping the contents down the sink and in one swift motion filling it with tap water. She screwed it back on, then tossed it to him.

“Water?” he asked, catching it.

“Should be enough,” Valeria said dismissively, “I have a theory on the volf’s location… I think this vun vill not vish to harm you.”

Brendan’s phone rang suddenly, and he scowled as he saw Alex’s contact on the screen. With a sigh he answered it, if Alex was calling him at “work” had to be important…

“Candy’s coming!” Alex blurted out so loud that Brendan pulled the phone away from his ear.

“W-Wha? Candy?” he muttered, confused, he hadn’t thought about her since… well since he’d met Valeria really. “Where’s she coming?”

“She’s coming to you Brendan, at 1313 whatever avenue where you’re working!”

“Oh shit,” Brendan breathed, “uh, thanks Alex!”

“Wait, she doesn’t know you’re a-“

Brendan hung up before she could finish, turning to Valeria, “we’ve got to lock the door and call the cops-“

“The police?” Valeria asked, her brow furrowed, “Brendan, that is not necessary, if a former lover of yours is coming, ve should greet her politely.”

He blinked, “you don’t understand, when she gets mad, Candy is a real witch, a demon, she-“

Valeria gasped, “I did not know…” She suddenly looked at the door, a hint of fear on her face, “Brendan, come, I vill need a feeding now!”

Why is she, his eyes widened as he realized she might have taken his remarks the wrong way, “Oh, no she-“

It was too late, in a flash he was on the floor, the squirt bottle he’d been holding a moment before clattered to the wood floor next to him, shaking the ground as the now building sized container tumbled in front of him. He looked up in awe at Valeria’s rising form, that familiar pale hand darting down, snatching him up between her thumb and forefinger like a stray beetle.

“I vill keep you safe,” she promised, flying through the house so quickly his vision blurred. His head was still spinning when she stopped, and blinking the dizziness away he realized they were up in her room. “My coffin is varded against many enchantments and attacks,” she breathed, tossing him into the velvet lined box, “no hostile force vill be able to open it.”

“Valeria, I think you’re-“ he began, but he was interrupted by the doorbell ringing, the mournful low sound echoing through the house.

“Hell is upon us!” Valeria snarled, baring her fangs. She looked down at him one last time, then with a smile she ruffled her long red dress up, her hands going beneath it. A moment later her pale hand dangled a lacy pair of red panties, “in case I do not return,” she said, blowing him a kiss as she tossed the underwear into the box.

Any protest Brendan could have uttered was muffled by the circus tent sized panties that instantly covered him, smothering him in the soft silky fabric and coating him with the smell of Valeria’s arousal and that soft allspice-scent that seemed to cling to her at this size.

“VALERIA!” he shouted one final time, but he heard the coffin lid slam shut above him, sealing him in darkness. He sighed, resigning himself to lay back and simply letting the soft feeling of the panties and the pleasing smell fill his senses.

It’ll probably be fine, he reassured himself, staring at the darkness overhead. Oh, who am I kidding…

…

Candy strutted up the stone walkway, taking in the gothic looking mansion, “what the fuck kind of job has you work in the fucking haunted mansion?” she muttered. She poked the doorbell angrily, rocking on her heels as she put her hands in her pockets, waiting for the door to be answered.

She raised an eyebrow when it creaked open on its own, but without hesitation she stepped inside. She glanced around the house, it was a nice place, whoever Brendan was working for was obviously loaded…

Hopefully he’s got enough cash to treat a girl now and then, she thought with a laugh.

“Vy hello,” a thick accented voice called from the living room. Candy spun, spotting a deathly pale young woman in a flowing red dress watching her from the couch. She blinked, she could have sworn there wasn’t anyone in there when she looked a moment ago.

“I’m here for Brendan,” Candy snapped, “you must be mistress Valeria?” she said with a mocking smile.

“Brendan is indisposed,” Valeria replied, keeping her eyes on the girl, “who might you be my dear?”

“I’m Candy, his girlfriend,” she said, strutting into the living room and draping herself over an easy chair.

“Odd, he told me you vere… no longer a pair?” Valeria asked, giving the smallest hint of a smile.

Candy’s eyes narrowed, “yeah well I’m taking him back, so go get him.”

“I refuse,” Valeria said, a little bit of venom creeping into her voice, “you vill go, and trouble us no more.”

“I see what’s going on here,” Candy said, standing back up with a grin, “little miss rich foreign princess bought herself an American boyfriend?” Candy reached into her pocket and pulled out a small knife, extending the blade with a flick of her thumb, “never thought I’d have to cut someone over Brendan of all things, but if you don’t back off-“

“Is the knife made of holy steel?” Valeria questioned suddenly, “consecrated by any particular deity?”

Candy blinked, “I got it at Bass Pro Shop, now here’s how it’s going to be-“

“I am so silly!” Valeria laughed, playfully slapping her forehead, “sometimes I misunderstand certain… vhat are they called, idioms? I had thought you vere a true demon.” She reached behind the couch, raising a massive silver broadsword with glowing red runes up and down it, “I vent and got this out of the basement for nothing!”

“I-Is that a sword?” Candy asked, stunned.

“Yes, I vielded Moonlight in battle alongside Mother and uncle Vladimir as a girl,” Valeria sighed wistfully as the blood runes burned brighter, casting red shadows on the wall, “so few chances to use her anymore…” Before Candy could react Valeria had closed the distance between them, leaping gracefully over the table. There was a flash of silver, and Candy watched, stunned, as two lochs of her green hair fell to the floor.

“What the fuck!” Candy screeched, falling backwards tumbling over the chair, which crashed to the ground. Her knife went skittering across the floor, and she reached into her denim jacket, snarling as she pulled another item her parole officer wouldn’t be happy to see in her hand. The small chrome revolver glinted in the low light.

The first gunshot rang out in the house, filling the room with a flash, then another, and another, as Candy screamed at the top of her lungs, emptying the gun into her attacker.

Valeria just smiled, not even flinching as the small bullets tore through her dress. She did stumble back at the last shot, but steadied herself easily, laughing as if at an old friend’s joke.

“I have not been shot in so long,” Valeria said, poking a quick finger in the hole, Candy gulped when she saw nothing but unharmed flesh beneath the bullet hole in the dress. “My first time vith guns vas…” she tapped her chin, “I vant to say Hapsburg soldiers, but could have been Ottomans…”

Candy screamed at the top of her lungs, squeezing the trigger and only producing a hollow *click* as Valeria gently leaned her sword against the overturned armchair. The vampire gave a quick flick of her wrist, and with a final smug smile the world seemed to stretch and contort around Candy.

“Oh, vhere is the little bug going?” Valeria laughed overhead as Candy scurried to her feet, hyperventilating in panic as she ran, sobbing across the hardwood floor. She spared a glance back, it was impossible, Valeria was as tall as a skyscraper, she was-

Her thoughts were interrupted as a giant pale foot slammed to the ground in front of her, an elegant black shoe a massive wall of leather cutting off her escape.

“Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck,” she breathed, scurrying backwards.

“Stop!” Valeria ordered harshly, lifting her pointed shoe and hovering the toe over the tiny woman like a dark cloud, “cease these pitiful attempts to run or I vill stomp you into a stain on my floor right here and now!”

Candy froze, and a moment later the light returned as Valeria’s shoe stepped back onto the floor next to her.

“Better,” Valeria said softly, “my mother says I am too soft, a voman coming into her home to threaten her? Ha! She vould not think twice, vould have already pressed her heel over you and crunched your little body like a cockroach…”

“Oh god, please don’t!” Candy wailed, getting on her knees, “seriously, I’ll just leave-“

“Kiss my shoe,” Valeria said, smiling and tapping the side of her face, “thank it for not crushing you…”

Candy looked at the shoe, then without hesitation sprinted to it, planting kisses on the shining black leather.

“T-thank you!” Candy said, between kisses, her lipstick marking the side of the shoe at an insignificant scale to the watching vampire.

Valeria sighed, then bent down to pick up the bug-girl, giggling as she squirmed frightfully in her grip. She brought Candy to her face, holding her in her palm as she regarded Brendan’s ex with a mix of smug satisfaction and annoyance.

“Perhaps I am a fool, but I am not my mother,” Valeria drawled, “and I do think Brendan vould feel guilty if I disposed of you.” A smirk crossed her features, “if you should ever encounter the countess… I vould not tell her you threatened me and lived, she vill slap me for it and… vell…” she tapped her foot on the floor once. “Things could happen to you if you spread tales of vhat happened here, yes?”

“G-Got it, I won’t tell anyone what happened here,” Candy stuttered, “c-can you make me big again please?”

“First ve must discuss vhat you vill say to Brendan when I fetch him,” Valeria with a chuckle, “you vill repeat exactly vhat I tell you to…”

…

Brendan blinked as the light of Valeria’s room filled the coffin again. The panties were lifted off him, and he saw the smiling face of the vampire as she picked him up. There was a flash, and he was standing next to her at full size again, blinking and trying to steady himself.

"What happened?” he asked eagerly.

“Ve simply had a chat!” Valeria said, ushering him to the door.

“I thought I heard gunshots-“

“Laughter!” Valeria said dismissively, “over many funny jokes ve shared, Candy is not so bad Brendan, she just vanted to say a few things to you!”

The two of them walked down the elegant staircase to find Candy waiting in the living room, drumming her fingers nervously on her knees, gulping as she saw them.

Brendan frowned, “H-Hey Candy, what’s going on?”

“I-I just wanted to come by and apologize for all the shit I put you through when we were dating,” Candy said meekly, “and I wanted you to know I won’t bother you or your new girlfriend any more.”

Wow, that’s unexpected, “that’s uh, real mature of you,” he said uncertainly.

Valeria cleared her throat and Candy almost jumped, “a-and I wanted you to know, you were by far the best lover I ever had.” Valeria glared at her and she bit her lip, “I uh, you were so good no other man will ever compete, and in fact I’m going to go home and…” she looked at Valeria pleadingly, but the vampire was unmerciful, giving her a baleful glare. Candy sighed, “I’m going to go home and touch myself thinking about you, in fact you were so good Brendan that I’m going to do it every night for all eternity.”

Something clicked, and Brendan turned to Valeria, who gave him a shrug and a smile. He fought the urge to laugh as Candy fidgeted.

“Can I go now?” she asked softly. Valeria chuckled, waving her hand dismissively, and before Brendan could so much as say “goodbye” Candy had bolted for the door, pounding down the steps like a bat out of hell and into the night.

“What did you do to her?” Brendan asked, laughing.

“Ve just had a chat!” Valeria said innocently, smirking with him, “she vas aggressive at first but… I simply put my foot down, and she saw reason.”

Brendan looked down, spotting the holes in the dress revealing the pale skin underneath, “some chat,” he grinned, sticking his finger playfully through the bullet hole. The two stared at each other a moment, “Thanks,” he said softly.

“Vhat kind of mistress vould I be if I did not care for you?” she asked, returning his smile. “Ve do have vun problem now though…”

“Oh?” he asked, raising an eyebrow, “what’s that?”

“All of this shrinking and regrowing people…” she growled hungrily, hugging him close in that iron grip, “vhen I play vith the energies and don’t get to consume them, it’s very frustrating, like…”

“Blue balling?” he said, realizing her issue.

“I don’t know vhat that means,” she muttered, “I know it is not a scheduled night for feeding but…”

“Do it,” he said eagerly, “eat up.”

She squealed happily, lifting him off the ground as his body began to contract, his size slipping away from him as she consumed his magical essence. This time she didn’t bother with his clothes, letting them fall around, scooping her hands around the oversized garments as she left him naked, the size of a toy in her grip.

“Delicious,” she murmured. With a grin she bent down, fishing his boxer shorts out of the pile of his clothing, he watched, a bit amused, as she lifted them to her nose, taking a long whiff before casually dropping them with the rest of his things.

“Do they really smell that good?” he asked quizzically.

“I have a very strong sense of smell,” she said, bringing his tiny body up to her face, “and you smell nice Brendan…” she licked her lips, causing her fangs to poke out ever so slightly, “I vonder if your body tastes as good as your essence does?”

He tilted her palm, causing him to fall towards her mouth as she opened it slightly. The soft pillow of her lower lips scooped him up, drawing his lower body into her mouth as her top lips sealed around him.

“Mmmmm…” she moaned, he felt a massive tongue the size of his body stretch up and over his thrashing legs, easily parting them and tasting his groin and everything that waited there.

“Oh wow,” he moaned, feeling his muscles fire as pleasure rocked his body. He felt a pair of what seemed like iron bars on either side of him, and with a start realized his movements were butting him against her fangs.

There was a slurping sound, and he was drawn into her mouth further, shrinking to fit as she stole another bit of his size away. Only his head stuck out of her lips now, and he cried out in shock and bliss as her tongue, now even larger, continued to play with his body.

She kept sucking on him, occasionally batting his shoulders against the pillars of her fangs as she treated him like a piece of hard candy. He felt the wet vacuum compress his body, her occasional giggle rocking up the throat that his feet threatened to slide down with every long slow suck of his body.

“I’m gonna-“ he started, but she slurped his head into her mouth finally, bathing him in darkness and slamming his body against the roof of her mouth as her tongue ground against him. His orgasm arrived by the third pass of that soft and powerful appendage, spraying helplessly into the blackness of her mouth as her spit swelled around him, swallowing it down.

Valeria moaned, sucking down the flavor, waiting until her tiny morsel stopped moving to flip him with her tongue. A moment later her mouth opened, and through the column of her fangs Brendan passed, her tongue as a bed as it pushed him out again. She gently picked him up, scooping his soaked form beneath her fingers and cradling him in her hand again.

“A vonderful flavor,” she giggled, “it vas tempting to simply svallow you…”

“Thanks for letting me live,” he joked, his head lolling limply back across the bridge of her fingers.

“Vould it be so bad?” she giggled, tracing a hand down her elegant neck, “enjoy the pleasures of my mouth, then vhen you are veak from the bliss…” she gulped playfully.

He looked at her a moment, not sure if she was serious, “what would your stomach even be like, you don’t really eat much other than me.”

She shrugged, “empty probably.” She smirked, “you vere thinking about it!”

“I was not!” he protested. “Don’t we have werewolves or something to deal with?”

“Tomorrow,” Valeria chuckled, holding his tiny form to her breast, “you are… too small to make my plan vork tonight. Rest…”

Feeling the slight warmth of her chest post-feeding, he felt inclined do as she suggested, and a moment later he heard the vampire giggle as she slide him into the cup of her bra, snuggling him tight against her as she returned to her books.

…

Lupe pulled her motorcycle into the park overlooking the city, a scenic view that was popular with teens on warmer nights. Trent was seated behind her, the much larger man gripping her waist an almost comical scene. The two of them dismounted as she killed the engine, and she swiped a bag covered bottle from a sidebag, taking a swig and handing it to Trent, who hesitated, then with a grimace took a drink himself.

“There you go big boy,” she laughed, taking a running leap onto a nearby picnic table, “enjoy the burn!”

“I’m not a big whiskey guy,” he said, squinting his face against the harsh flavor.

“Get your fine ass up here!” she ordered, ignoring his complaint.

With a sigh he ran after her, leaping onto the table with her in a single easy jump. She slapped his bottom, cupping it possessively and squeezing his buttcheek, while he smirked and reluctantly put an arm around her.

“Listen,” Lupe said, suddenly serious, “that bat thing, it’s going to come after us soon, but I won’t let her get you, okay?”

“Get me?” Trent asked, smiling slightly, “you think I can’t take care of myself?”

“Please, you were screaming like a girl when I was chasing you through campus,” she laughed.

“I didn’t think… things like you were real,” he muttered.

“I didn’t mean to bite you,” she said softly, “I slipped, mouth was open…” She scowled, “I know you don’t believe me but it was an accident!”

“Right, now I’ve got to use all my PTO on the nights of the full moon from here until forever,” Trent said, rolling his eyes.

“Oh come on, you’re loving this!” Lupe laughed.

“Can’t argue with that,” Trent admitted, it certainly had been interesting, and following Lupe… well, maybe there was something to be said for being the pack beta…

“Howl with me!” she ordered, her eyes going golden as the moon shone overhead.

“AWOOOOOOO!” the two of them filled the night air with the long howl of the wolf.