Disclaimer

 This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any real people or products is completely unintentional.

Reasonable Substitutions

F/m sm unaware vore

Jake stared off into the distance as another Unreasonable customer made another unreasonable complaint.He focused on the bubbling of the deep fryer and the ding warning the frycook that the fries were done hoping it would drown out the droning in his head until he realized, crap, she's still here.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE SOY PATTIES?" The young blonde woman yelled. For a vegetarian she sure looked like she was out for blood, "DON'T YOU REALIZE YOU'RE IGNORING AN ENTIRE DEMOGRAPHIC?"

As she yelled her peace sign neclace shook drawing attention to her ample cleavage. Jake was pretending not to notice, but she caught his sidelong glance and her anger increased.

(...soy people...) Jake rolled his eyes (Burger Lord sucks. I wish Stalins N Things hadn't gone under. I didn't have to deal with this kind of insanity there.)

"Look Ma'am," Jake said, "We used to carry soy patties, but they went bad. in the freezer.We only sold two the entire time we had them, and one was to a guy that thought soy was a kind of fish,"

The soy girl's friend smiled apologeticly. It was obvious that she'd heard this many times before.

"Just get the fries, Suzy," she suggested trying to hurry things along.

"Fries contain meat too," Jake said.

"How is that even possible?" Suzy asked incredulously.

"Seasoned with meat powder," Jake answered.

Suzy shook her head,"Couldn't you just make a batch without it?" she asked.

"Nope," he answered flatly, "company policy. They aren't Burger Lord fries without the seasoning, and we only serve Burger Lord fries,"

"Sabi, why did you insist on comming here?" Suzy asked rubbing her temples.

"Sorry Suzy, I thought that there would be more options," Sabi offered weakly.

"Is there anything on the menu that doesn't contain meat?" Suzy asked, "Anything AT ALL?"

Sabi's face suddenly brightened, "Hey Suzy, what about the parfait?"

Suzy looked thoughtful, "you don't somehow put meat in the fruit and yogurt parfait do you?" she asked Jake eyeing him with suspicion.

"Depends," Jake said "Do you consider dairy meat?"

"No," Suzy said.

"Then the fruit and yogurt parfait is the only meatless thing on the menu," Jake answered.

"Fine, I'll take a parfait," Suzy said with some reluctance, then she stormed off to a booth on the other side of the restaurant.

"And what about you?" Jake asked Sabi.

"I'll just take a number one large," she answered, her face reddening, "Sorry about that," she said pointing to Suzy.

Jake smiled, "Don't worry about it. I'm used to it by now," he said. Jake rang up the order, Sabi paid, then walked over to Suzy and sat down.

Jake walked over to the back deciding he needed a little break. He half leaned, half sat against the back counter with his face in his hands. (man I have such a headache. If one more customer yells at me I won't be responsible for my actions. She was the worst one yet. She was hot though. I wish I could get a look under that shirt.)

At the exact same time over at the booth Suzy was fuming. (That jerk. I wish he could see what meat has to go through.)

A wave of dizziness hit Jake fast and hard. He sat on the table and tried to wait it out. His stomach lurched as if he was on an elevator. As the feeling faded Jake noticed he was sitting with his legs dangling from a metal cliff. (What happened? Where am I?) He stood up and quickly backed away from the cliff. The metal plane went on from the cliff as far as he could see. Jake stared beyond the cliff and finally realized where he was. His mind nearly snapped. (there's.no way. this. is real.)

Unless his own mind was playing tricks on  him, he was standing on the counter he was previosly leaning against, only, now everything was massive! Either that or he was just really, really small. He paced the counter muttering to himself trying to set his mind right. His steps became more frantic as he realized it wasn't working.

A titanic shape came into view, bringing with it ear bleeding thunder. When his mind could finally process all of the details he realized it was Chelsea, the line cook, she'd looked happier. Her tired peeved expression would've been easily readable
for any normal sized person, to jake it was a billboard advertising the newest annoyance in lazy team members.

While he knew she was mad at him, he also knew that she was his only chance of getting off the table alive.

"CHELSEA, DOWN HERE!" Jake yelled jumping and waving, but she never once glanced at the table. She had the glazed over look of someone pulling a double and watching the second hand of the clock.

"JAKE, ORDER UP!" Chelsea yelled as she placed the food on the table. Were Jake normal sized, it would be his job to take the food to the customers. Since Chelsea and he were the only two team members in the restaurant until 2pm, she would eventually have to come and get the food herself. He decided that his only chance to be seen was to climb the highest point (the burger) and get her attention.

At his current size gravity was a little lenient with him and the burger wrapper provided him with enough hand holds and foot holds that it wasn't terribly
troublesome to climb (which was fortunate considering Jake was none too athletic.)

Just as Jake reached the top of the burger something slammed the table. The impact knocked Jake off his feet and caused him to fall. To his surprise his landing was soft and wet rather than bone shattering. The taste of sweet vanilla filled his mouth and he heard yelling from far above.

"JAKE, BREAK'S OVER!" Chelsea yelled after slamming her hand on the table. She angrily grabbed the tray and carried it to the two girls in the far booth. (that's strange Jake's not at the register. Maybe he's in the restroom. Jerk. He could've at least told me he had to go.) She placed the tray down on the table and walked over to the counter secretly wishing Jake was suffering wherever he was for making her run the whole place on her own.

Treading yogurt, Jake knew he'd fallen into the parfait. Not long after he landed his confines began to shake. through the hole in the top of the cup Jake could see the bottom  of Chelsea's face.

"CHELSEA, DOWN HERE!" Jake yelled at the top of his voice. He realized with dismay that she could not hear him. The smooth plastic walls were impossible to climb. It was all Jake could do to continue treading yogurt and hope he was seen. He tried to climb a half sunken blueberry, but all he managed to do was make it spin and dunk him deeper into the vanilla sea. When he came up gasping for air the full weight of his prediciment hit him. (I'm about the size of a blueberry and covered in yogurt. There's no way anyone will notice me.

When the tray hit the table everything shifted again and Jake was caught in a wave that buried him deeper than before. Holding his breath, he struggled to find the surface. he could hear the muffled conversation of the girls but was unable to make anything out. A mass of the parfait above him was suddenly ripped away by a plastic spoon that could comfortably seat about 30 people of Jake's size. The good news was Jake could breathe again, the bad news was that Suzy was looking at Sabi while she ate and therefore didn't notice the tiny man doggy paddling in her lunch.

As the spoon lowered for a second scoop Jace frantically submerged himself once again to be exposed seconds later as the spoon dug away more of his hiding place.

"You mean to tell me you don't see anything wrong with eating that burger?" Suzy asked.

"I'm sure the cow had a good life," Sabi answered casually with the practice of one who has many vegetarian friends but won't be swayed to their side.

"That's disgusting," Suzy said as she lowered her spoon into the parfait yet again. This time Jake couldn't duck low enough and was scooped up by the spoon.

"There's no way I'd eat anything with a face," Suzy said as she raised the spoon containing the frightened Jake to her mouth. Jake could only stare transfixed in horror as the spoon passed her lips and teeth. Suddenly all light was extinguished as Suzy's lips pressed firmly against the back of the spoon while she slowly pulled it out savoring the mixture of fruit and vanilla.

The air was hot and humid. Jake swam blindly hoping he could wrench open her lips or at least tickle them to make her aware of his presence. His hope was short lived. Mere seconds into his escape attempt Suzy's tongue pressed against the roof of her mouth and Jake began to slide down. Jake reached around frantically for something to grab but everything was slippery and wet. Since jake was the only solid object in the yogurt the esophagus held him tight and forced him down kicking and fighting the whole way.

The descent came to a stop followed by a low groaning somewhere below him, then suddenly Jake and the yougurt were in a freefall. The fall was short and between the yogurt and the liquid already in the stomach the landing was soft. The air was rank. It reminded Jake of the time he had to clean the men's room after some drunk guy threw up all over the place. He gagged several times, but managed hold it in while feeling around for a way out.

The room itself fought against Jake tossing him around and submerging him in the foul liquid. Jake quickly closed his eyes to shield them from damage. His fear began to mount as his skin began to tingle and slowly burn. He beat agains any wall he came near frantically hoping he was large enough to be noticed.

"OH!" Suzy said bringing her hand to her mouth, "I think I accidentally swallowed a blueberry,"

"you Oughtta chew more carefully Sooze," Sabi said as she downed a few more fries.

"Speak for yourself," Suzy said, "You almost swallowed that burger before I've even finished half of my parfait,"

Sabi smiled sheepishly "Whatever"

As they finished thier meal and threw away their trash Suzy made a funny face.

"What's wrong Suzy?" Sabi asked.

"I don't know. I feel this strange tickling, fluttering sensation in my chest," Suzy answered.

"It's probably indigestion," Sabi said. She secretly wished that the cashier had put meat in her food, though she'd never admit to it out loud. "Just wait a bit and it'll pass. If not I've got some Fizzies at home,"

Suzy continued rubbing her stomach. "I told you we shouldn't have eaten here. Even the fruit in this place gives me indigestion,"

With that they went to the car and headed to Sabi's place wishing they'd eaten somewhere else.