In this Chapter: Kristen enters the early stages of motherhood before she meets another neighbor. Kristen begins to understand what exactly is occupying her rooms before an unexpected interaction surprises her.
Main Tags of This Chapter: Crush. Unaware. Breasts.
Kristen – Age 27 Madelyn – Age < 1 month
Lakeside Suburbs, USA
Kristen laid on her bed, completely sapped of energy, her hair disheveled. Slowly closing her eyes in the quiet bedroom and falling asleep within a few minutes after she buried herself underneath a mound of warm blankets in the early morning haze glowing through the windows of her master bedroom. Catching almost an hour of sleep until her eyes abruptly shot open. She heard the stirs and whines of young Madelyn in the baby crib across the room as Kristen exhaustingly pulled herself out from under the covers. “Aww…” Kristen tiredly and lovingly mumbled as she carried Madelyn back over to her bed, sitting down and rocking the newborn gently back to sleep.
She settled Madelyn back into the crib, but Kristen couldn’t fall back asleep herself, tossing under her blankets for a while she was suddenly wide awake, catching a burst of energy as she turned on the baby monitor connected to her phone and yawned wide. Kristen exited her bedroom and entered the room across the upstairs hallway, within the smaller room were the beginnings of a child’s room, the walls colored a pastel pink and decorated with painted flowers and cute animals that Kristen drew herself using some of her natural creative talents.
Kristen proud of the effort she had been dedicating towards Madelyn’s future room for almost a month after giving birth as it was a good temporary distraction from any love lost from the divorce or feelings of loneliness, but despite the some of those difficulties, Kristen had a new love in her life that she could spend some of her focus on, Madelyn. Kristen putting money into the house, making it feel more like a home as she added more décor and furniture as well as buying plenty of items for Madelyn’s care.
She walked downstairs, having a few rare minutes to herself as she drank a healthy smoothie and mellowed in the quiet of the house. Kristen sighed as she stared through the windows in her kitchen looking out towards the street, seeing other neighbors running and jogging in the early morning cold air. Kristen still feeling alone and a little depressed throughout the day as she watched the people run by.
Dressed in loose sweatpants and her cozy jacket, she wiggled her feet into a pair of fuzzy ankle slippers and grabbed a key off a metal hook by the front door of the house. She stepped out into the cold air, seeing some of her visible breath puffing out from her mouth as she walked down the sidewalk, not wanting to be seen by any of her jogging neighbors as she quickstepped towards the shared mailbox outlet covered by a canopy and a few dormant trees that had already shed their leaves for the winter.
Kristen pulled out a few letters and a surprise small brown package addressed from her sister Leslie, closing her mailbox, and trying to hurry back to her house. She was almost back to the walkway that led to her front door before she caught the sight of a woman jogging towards her from down the street with a quick pace. The woman dressed in a jacket, vest and leggings, her hands covered in gloves, her hair in a ponytail with a purple sweatband around her head. Kristen panicked for a second as she made eye contact with the jogger, trying her best to ignore her, and taking another step towards her front door before she heard a voice call out.
“Hey!” the jogger stopped, breathing a little heavy as her breath puffed out of her mouth into the cold, still air, but she had a wide smile across her face as Kristen turned around, embarrassed by her own appearance, her hair still a mess, and her eyes tired from the long nights of tending to Madelyn.
“Oh, hey!” Kristen returned with a forced smile, having been alone for a few months and barely socializing with anyone like she had been so used to when she was a bit younger.
“I’m so sorry to stop you like this, I saw you move in months ago and never really got around to officially welcoming you to the neighborhood” the jogger said with a bright and friendly tone.
“Oh, that’s okay, I’ve been really busy and just staying inside, I’m not exactly used to all this cold weather” Kristen dismissed with a small laugh.
“Haha yeah? I’m Ginny, by the way, also, I live four houses down from you” Ginny said, pointing over her back towards her home.
“I’m Kristen, some people call me Kristy though, if you want” Kristen said, feeling a little better that her neighbor seemed friendly and nice.
“Okay, Kristen, well it was nice to meet you… hey uh, I’m always looking for a running partner in the mornings if you ever find yourself wanting to get some fresh air and exercise” Ginny offered as Kristen smiled.
“Yeah, sure… that would be nice actually, here, let me give you my phone and you can put your number in” Kristen said, pulling out her phone from her jacket pocket and swiping on the screen a few times, handing the phone over to Ginny as she tapped in her information before handing it back to Kristen. “Ginny… Dai… that’s very pretty” Kristen said.
“Thank you, and great! If you need anything, don’t hesitate to text me, my door is always open” Ginny said with a smile before she heard a little beep of a notification on Kristen’s phone. Kristen opening the notification and hearing the stirs and whines of Madelyn through the baby monitor app playing through the phone speakers. “Aw, how old?” Ginny asked, scooting a bit closer to Kristen so she could peek at the phone screen.
“She’s almost at five weeks now” Kristen responded.
“Aww… she looks so cute! Are you… uh, are you all by yourself?” Ginny hesitantly asked as Kristen’s eyes lulled and her lips curled with anxiety.
“Uh… yeah, I am” Kristen almost embarrassingly said.
“That’s okay! How about I stop by your house sometime later today and see if you need anything?” Ginny politely suggested.
“Oh, that’s so nice of you, but I don’t really want to mess up your schedule or anything” Kristen responded.
“Okay! I won’t push anything on to you. Just reach out if you need me!” Ginny said before waving bye and returning to her morning run.
Kristen brought the mail letters and package upstairs with her, setting them on her bed before she tended to Madelyn, feeding her. Madelyn eventually going back to sleep for a nap. Kristen quietly opened the package sent from her sister, inside was a little outfit for Madelyn as Kristen smiled and set it aside, sending a thank you message to Leslie on her phone as she took a deep breath.
*** *** ***
Kristen took her chance at the opportunity to unwind, cleaning herself up in her bathroom and washing her skin, restoring some of the color and life back into her face and eyes. Changing her clothes into tight, light blue leggings and her soft, black nursing bra before practicing yoga for a while in front of her television in the living room to the tune of a peaceful instructional video playing from the speakers.
Breathing steadily as she twisted and turned her body around into more increasingly more difficult positions, stretching atop her black mat as she tensed her muscles. Kristen feeling much better that her exposed stomach was slimming down back to normal, her flexibility and motivation to keep fit was somewhat returning, at least when she had the energy in between taking care of Madelyn.
She lounged on her couch for a few minutes, cooling her body off after the workout as she sat in silence, watching her bare midriff rise and fall as she breathed, her bare feet resting on a pillow at the other end of the couch while her phone was propped up on the table in case Madelyn woke up.
Although her life had taken a different turn after giving birth to a daughter that she already loved deeply, there was still something else brewing in the back of her mind that she couldn’t stop thinking about while she laid across the soft cushions; what was she going to do with the strange things in her two back rooms?
Kristen had peeked her head into her office and studio doors a few times since the birth just to see if the masses and mossy rug were still spread out across her floors, wanting to be sure they weren’t part of her imagination or a dream, but the few times she poked her head in, they were all still there, they were real and they weren’t moving. Kristen hearing the soft noises and buzzes of activity as if each mass and the entirety of the rug were alive.
She hadn’t physically stepped into the rooms since the night she went into delivery though, vividly remembering the horrible crunches and squishes under her feet that she couldn’t stop thinking about, the feeling of the masses and structures crumbling under her soles and between her toes without much resistance, hearing the little squeaks each time she stepped on something fragile and seeing the flashing lights disappear under her feet made her head spin with confusion, almost refusing to believe what she had saw that night, but she needed an irrefutable answer to calm her imagination.
Kristen grew a little anxious as she wiped a bit of sweat from her temples and took a large gulp of cold water from her bottle, she then tied her hair into a loose bun, letting her the unbound strands of her hair cascade down the sides of her head. She took a few deep breaths before softly and quietly walking down her hallway towards her office door. Kristen could feel her heart racing a little faster as she came closer to the door handle, the thoughts about the possibilities of what was so real about the little toys in her office and studio making her stomach sink with anxiety.
She slowly rotated the door handle and stepped inside the cool room, immediately feeling the lower temperature air wafting across her exposed skin. Looking down and seeing the debris and loose gravel-like destruction of where she had been that first night, having stepped on the crystals and soft rocks, but the rest of room still looked the same as it was before.
All the grey structures and clusters spread out across the floor, untouched, unmoved, millions of little dots moving around the grey structures as well, almost like little colonies of bugs, Kristen thought as she closed the door behind her with a gentle clink and turned towards the room, her black chair in the corner unbothered by the events of the last month as it stood above each of the masses.
Kristen winced her eyes to focus on the small details of what was surrounding her, stepping over the debris and destroyed crystals near her toes as she remembered how they felt against her soles, but she knew the pile of rubble underneath her didn’t have the answers she wanted.
The windows of her room brightly lightning up the entire floor with sunlight so that she could see with much more clarity than that strange night as she tip-toed as quietly and as carefully as she could on the empty spaces of the floor and up to another grey mass closest to her, Kristen thought she could see little flashes of orange popping against her leggings and thighs as black dots flew towards her lower body, the little puffs turning to black smoke, but she didn’t quite know what they were as she hovered herself over the other cluster of colors and dots surrounding the protruding grey crystals.
Kristen brought her feet backward as she began lowering herself downward, placing her hands on the ground as she gently lowered her stomach and body near the floor, Kristen was on her hands and knees and poised her face above a lager mass of grey crystals, only now, Kristen could see more colors and distinctive sections and separations in the clusters, as if it was deliberately designed that way.
She lowered her body and face more as her curiosity grew, her already fuller-sized chest a little larger than normal after the hormones made her breasts more swollen as she sunk downward towards the mass in her soft bra.
Kristen continued to lower herself, her mouth wide open as she started to put the pieces together, seeing the dots moving up and down these long grey and black lines, in between the grey structures that looked more like a building she would have normally seen in downtown Lakeside, but it still didn’t make sense, there’s no way they could be alive, Kristen thought.
The taller buildings concentrated in the center of the cluster a few inches tall as they protruded from the ground as Kristen’s eyes widened, unable to blink as she lowered he face more, feeling her heart beat faster, then she looked up, they were all doing the same, each cluster about the size of a large dinner tray, all of the cities full of the same type of tiny dots as Kristen looked back down at the mass beneath her chest and face.
Kristen lifted her arm, keeping her balance on her knees as she pointed her nail at one of the taller reflective structures surrounded by dots. Kristen gently moving her finger and nail towards the few-inches high crystal. Kristen’s plain nail impacted the crystal as it puffed with smoke and sparkling glass, the structure still standing as there was now a huge indentation in it from the impact, smoldering with small flames as Kristen pulled her hand back and settled in on the floor and watched from above. The structure’s top half began to wobble before collapsing into the rest of itself as there was plume of grey dust as Kristen shook her head.
Kristen could see the dots reacting to her as they all scattered in different directions away from the smoking debris, albeit, the dots were moving very slowly to Kristen’s eyes, the squeaks becoming louder as she lowered her face even more above the buildings, her eyes looming right above the city as she could see individual cars and even little dots of creatures running around what was becoming more and more obvious as she stared into the downtown part of the city she hovered above, rotating her gaze outward as she followed the roads and paths into what looked more like suburbs and neighborhoods not too dissimilar in appearance from her own neighborhood.
Thinking it was silly at first as she blinked her eyes a few times and almost smirked at the sight as small amount of smoke wafted by her face and the squeaks only increasing with volume. Having remembered that when she worked in her real estate office, there were numerous model displays of planned neighborhoods or scale models of office buildings that were tiny in comparison to her, but they were made of plastic and plaster, void of any life, but Kristen found herself staring at something very real as her stomach grew tight and her legs became shaky, her smirk disappearing as the muscles in her arms tensed and her lips quivered as she began to realize what was happening.
She felt her arms grow weaker as her nerves only increased with stress, her body lowering before a sudden and dulling, sore pain radiated across her chest, her bra slightly digging into the outskirts of the city and into numerous neighborhoods as Kristen grimaced, “Uhhhff” Kristen quietly groaned to herself, her nipples, even behind the soft and supportive nursing bra, were sore and aching from the constant breastfeeding for Madelyn, but Kristen lunged herself backward as she heard the squeaks grow into shrieks as she saw puffs of grey billow out from under her larger breasts.
Kristen picked herself up yet remained squatting down on her haunches in front of the city, brushing some of the crushed crumbs from her cleavage and from off the threads of her bra as her legs were on either side of the city without Kristen even realizing where her feet were. She then focused her eyes back towards the city, seeing indentations of where her chest impacted a few districts and neighborhoods as Kristen finally reacted to the sight, putting both hands over her mouth in shock and regret as she tightly closed her eyes, and her hands shook over her mouth.
After an agonizing few seconds, she quickly stood up and scooted backwards as she slowly pulled her hands off her mouth until she felt her ass hit the wall behind her followed by her shoulders and back, snapping herself out of the intense anxiety of realizing what she was dealing with. “Are you… all… real… tiny people…” Kristen said between shaking breaths erratically escaping from her mouth as he fingers twitched, “how are you… how is…no…no” Kristen frantically mumbled under her breath.
Kristen began to panic a bit as it all started to make sense, seeing little blinking dots hovering above each of the tiny cities, and they were moving, slowly, but steadily as if piloted, realizing that the little orange burst on her thighs earlier must have been aircraft crashing into her. “No, there’s no way… no, no… no, you’re not real” Kristen whispered to herself, almost pleading for it all to be fake, but she kept hearing the buzzes and squeaks coming from the cities spread out before her across the floor.
Kristen felt herself getting hotter, her skin flushing red as her eyes widened more with each passing second, feeling almost sick, like she was about to throw up. Kristen looking down and realizing that she had crushed an entire city a few weeks prior by accident, seeing the crumpled up remains near her toes, “oh my god, no, no, no, I’m so sorry” Kristen agonizingly said aloud as she grabbed at her hair and closed her eyes in shame, bending downward and placing her hands on her knees, keeping herself from falling over as she felt intensely dizzy, but before she continued to express her sympathies, she felt a tiny hot sensation on her bare ankles.
Kristen looked down towards her feet, feeling as if a drop of hot water had fell on her skin, seeing streaks of grey and black smoke drifting in a line towards the skin of her bare feet and ankles, she also could see little tufts of black smoke on the bottoms of her leggings that ended a few inches above her ankles as there were numerous pops and little tickles of insignificant warmth.
Looking down with confusion as she saw thousands of moving dots coming from the city that she had just accidentally crushed multiple neighborhoods with the curving skin of her tits and poked at one of their skyscrapers with her nail. The dots coming at her steadily and slowly, at least from Kristen’s point of view, some of them on the wood floor, some of the hovering above the rest, but she heard and saw little pops of noise followed by flashes of orange and white sounding from them.
The grey smoke streaks continuing to billow towards her as she felt another couple of little pokes and pricks against the skin of her feet and toes, “oh my god… you… uhh…you’re shooting at me, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry, how do I get you out of here? What can I do… please?” Kristen said, pleading for answers as her eyes started to water, but the shooting didn’t stop as more puffs of black smoke and little annoying, soft stings bounced off her ankles.
“Stop it, oh my god” Kristen raised her voice as her eyebrows lowered, not particularly liking the idea that she was being shot at. “I understand why, but I-I didn’t mean to I swear, I didn’t know what you were…” Kristen desperately pleaded again, but the little army wouldn’t stop as Kristen felt a growing guilt under her beating chest and flushed red skin.
“Stop!” Kristen raised her voice a little more as she picked her foot up and over the dots, the view of the little people completely disappearing behind the view of her foot looming above them, but the shooting immediately stopped as the dots started to scatter away from out and under her foot and back towards the city they came from, Kristen pulling her foot back, sparing the little military from being stomped as she quickly exited the room, closing the door behind her and hurried to her couch in the living room down the hall.
Kristen collapsed on her couch, hugging at her legs as she twitched and shook for a few minutes, the idea that she had taken life was something that wasn’t sitting right in her mind, outright and almost denying it in her head, thinking there’s no way that this could be happening, that there was no way that she had killed tiny people using her body, crushing them like a little colony of ants. The overbearing reality was there though, it was real, as Kristen’s eyes started to welt, digging her nails into her tights and into her legs to try and feel any other sensation other than guilt and shame.
Suddenly, a notification dinged on Kristen’s phone from the coffee table, snapping herself into mother mode as the display of Madelyn stirring awake in her crib was shown on the screen. Kristen pushing her feelings down and wiping her eyes clean of tears as she hurried upstairs and grabbed her daughter from the crib. Kristen’s sighing deeply as she unlatched the front covering of her nursing bra and fed Madelyn, Kristen gritting her teeth and wincing her eyes at the dull pain, but just focused on her breathing, numbing the thoughts in her head momentarily.
Kristen eventually getting Madelyn back in the crib as she looked at the baby camera attached to the crib’s backboard, Kristen turning her head slightly at the idea that had just crossed her head. “I’ll be right back, little Maddy” Kristen said with a wide, yet anxious smile, poking her hands at the cute baby bundled up in blankets, but Kristen’s thoughts couldn’t stop spinning, thinking she was a killer and not knowing how to handle it, instead wanting to feel like she was at least in control of the situation, thinking she could help the cities stranded in her office room.
She went into the garage, her bare feet cold on the grey concrete as she walked by her car and grabbed a small, open box off a shelf, carrying the box back into her kitchen as she pulled out two separate baby cameras from the box. Kristen setting the cameras up to work in tandem with her phone just like she had down with Madelyn’s crib. “Fuck… fuck… that means that rug is just…it just even smaller people, how is that even…how is that even possible…” Kristen mumbled to herself, trying to talk herself through the anxiety making her body nervous and shaky from the inside out.
Kristen went back down the hallway, deeply swallowing, a lump in her throat from the nerves and feeling like she was going to cry, still in shock, trying not to think about if she was a murderer or not. She opened the office door, barely even looking at the cities across her floor as she quickly bent down and plugged the camera into a wall socket and turned it on, the camera blinking a few times as she titled it towards the floor, and then exited the room, closing it behind her, wanting to avoid further conflict or squishing any of the mite sized people.
She then went across the hallway to her studio with the other camera, but she entered the room and felt this darkness in her mind as she looked down towards the rug, rather, an entire country as it looked more obvious now to Kristen. She looked at the grey blobs that were cities, the vast landscapes in between, then she looked at her deep footprints embedded into the country from that night they showed up, realizing that she had killed more of the even smaller people, wiping away entire cities just under her toe prints.
Kristen’s lips quivering as she realized that she had used their countryside and maybe a few cities as a tiny foot massage for her sore feet, remembering in the moment how good the soft ground felt under her toes, that slightly brittle feeling of what was most likely entire cities and towns rubbing into her soles and hugging the skin of her feet as she squished and wriggled her toes into the middle of the rug to alleviate herself of the dull pain aching her feet, but that feeling of momentary bliss was long dead.
“I’m…I’m so sorry… I hope I can get you all out of here…” Kristen whispered, not really knowing what to say as she bent down and plugged the camera in, placing the camera on what little remained of the exposed wood floor nearest her door, aiming the lens at the land and towards a tiny grey mass that Kristen acknowledged must have been a small city barely a few inches across as Kristen curled her lips into almost a frown before she exited the room.
Kristen going back upstairs, her heartbeat slowing down back to normal as she played with Madelyn for a bit, distracting herself from the terrible thoughts creeping in the back of her mind, but Kristen needed something else, she needed someone to talk to and as soon as possible. Tucking Madelyn back into her blankets as she went for her phone, turning on the baby monitor app, seeing that not much had changed in the rooms, although met with an eerie view of a live stream of entire cities and an entire country, everything looking like how it was left before she switched to her messages.
She attempted to text Leslie, but she didn’t answer as Kristen curled her lips, wondering, her fingers hovering over an empty conversation with Ginny marked at the top, the neighbor she had met that morning. “Hey, if you still wanted to come over later, that would be great” Kristen texted the new neighbor.
“Yeah! I can be over in like two-ish or so hours” Ginny responded a few minutes later as Kristen washed herself up again in the bathroom, too anxious with the thoughts to even look at herself in the mirror, just wanting to make sure she was clean and smelled somewhat good, throwing on a comfortable shirt over her bra. Rushing downstairs and cleaning up any stray messes in the kitchen, wanting to make a good impression of her clean home, keeping herself busy with distracting chores until Ginny showed up.
*** *** ***
Kristen paced around her living room in circles, knowing that her neighbor would be coming over in any minute, Kristen trying to calm herself down from the dark thoughts, talking to herself in a quiet and calm voice as if to soothe herself and come up with different plans. “I should just sweep them up, yeah, sweep them all up and be done with it… then I wouldn’t have to worry… no, I should call someone, like the cops? Or like a uhhh… yeah, like a professor at a university that knows about physics or something… fuck… I don’t know! Ughhh!” Kristen kept mumbling to herself while brushing her hair, occasionally peeping her eyes towards her phone screen to check and see if Madelyn was doing okay or if the tiny people in her rooms triggered any notifications to do with her cameras, but they were silent.
“I could use bug spray… just make it quick and painless… I think it would be painless at least… fuck, no that’s chemical genocide… no, do I call a doctor? Could a doctor even help? I don’t know what to do… come on, Kristen…” she whispered to herself, tapping the sides of her head in frustration before she plopped down on the couch and held her forehead, sitting in silence for a few minutes before there was a gentle knock at the door.
Kristen walking to the front door, smiling immediately as she saw her neighbor in the doorway, Kristen able to push away the feelings and erratic thoughts and focus on the person in front of her, a normal person.
“Hey!” Ginny excitedly greeted Kristen.
“Hey, come in!” Kristen matching Ginny’s bright energy as Ginny took her shoes off in the doorway, wiggling her toes in her pair of fuzzy, warm socks as she followed Kristen to the kitchen and sat a few bags down on a small table.
Kristen watching as Ginny placed the bags down on her nook table, now that she wasn’t flustered by initially meeting her that morning, she could pay more attention to what she looked like. Ginny was a little taller than Kristen, had straight black hair, incredibly smooth and porcelain skin, dark brown eyes, and perfect teeth.
Ginny then took off her jacket and placed it on the back of the table chair, revealing more of her skin, a beautiful feather tattoo on her back partly covered by her black tank top and sports bra straps. Ginny was a little more petite in figure and curves than Kristen as well, yet still fit and healthy.
“I hope this isn’t weird, but I brought you some vegan cookies and some extra baby stuff” Ginny said with a smile.
“No, that’s great! Thank you! I’ve never had a vegan cookie before” Kristen replied. The two sat in the living room, sharing a few of the vegan cookies as Kristen thought they were a little drier than a normal cookie, but nodded and complimented them anyway. They conversed for a while as the background noise of reality television played in the background, but Kristen found herself genuinely laughing for the first time in a while as she got to know her neighbor a bit more.
Ginny seamed funny, friendly, reminding Kristen of her younger self somewhat and how naturally great she was at socializing, but Kristen found it more difficult in recent times, but it seemed to become easier with Ginny as the night went on
“So, what do you do for work?” Ginny asked.
“Well before I had Madelyn, I was working on real estate statistics, like as an analyst, but I was slowly working my way into wanting to become a real estate agent, but I might have to wait on that until I can get Maddy in pre-school or something so that I can, ya know, be away from her without having to worry as much” Kristen said.
“Oh, you take your time, and you get back to it when you’re ready, that’s so exciting though, Lakeside is such a fast-growing city, you’ll have so many opportunities here to be an agent. Oh! You can be one of those people with a huge billboard of your face near the highway or something, that way thousands of people can see you!” Ginny said with a supportive tone as Kristen nervously laughed, thinking about the millions of tiny people who had seen her already.
“Haha, no way, I don’t like it when too many people are looking at me. What about you, what do you do?” Kristen asked.
“My husband and I both work at a nonprofit downtown, he does graphic design for them and I’m a project manager!” Ginny brightly chirped.
“That’s awesome, what kind of nonprofit?” Kristen asked.
“Oh, it’s such a great place to work. So, my grandparents on my mother’s side were immigrants from Korea and this nonprofit helps a lot with education opportunities for immigrants, so I just feel like a connection to it” Ginny said.
“Whoa, so do you like, speak Korean or anything?” Kristen curiously asked.
“Haha no, not really, some little phrases sometimes, my mom didn’t really bother to teach me any when I was younger” Ginny said.
“That’s awesome though, cool! Any kids of your own?” Kristen asked.
“Oh no, my husband and I don’t want any, and we probably never really will want any, too…I know… its weird, sometimes we talk about adoption, but we’re just living our best lives right now until then” Ginny said shrugging her shoulders.
“Not really! Plenty of couples are doing that these days” Kristen said as Ginny nodded and smiled. The conversation went on as they became a bit more at ease with each other and more relaxed, Ginny feeling confident that she could ask a little more sensitive questions, feeling great about the openness that Kristen seemed to be comfortable with.
“So how are you, and I mean like, really, how are you?” Ginny asked with a little bit of a concern in her tone.
“Uhh… there’s just a lot going on. It can be rough, but I have little Maddy to keep me company” Kristen said. Ginny could sort of tell that Kristen avoided the bulk of the question.
“It’s okay if it’s rough, but you know, maybe sharing what’s really going on in your mind might make you feel better” Ginny said with an inviting and warming smile.
“Maybe… I don’t know… I guess, uuh…” Kristen sighed deeply but looked over towards Ginny who appeared to really care. “Ever since my divorce… I guess I’ve felt pretty alone, at least until Madelyn came, but… nothing they tell you is true” Kristen pondered.
“What do you mean?” Ginny asked.
“I mean like… ugh… giving birth is not magical, at all. I’m tired, I’m exhausted, my skin isn’t giving off some youthful glow, my hormones and emotions are all crazy, my back hurts because my boobs were already huge before, now they’re even bigger and full and sore! I have to keep changing out these stupid nursing pads when I sleep because I leak milk sometimes when I’m laying down at night… ugh… I’m sorry, I don’t want to make it seem terrible, it’s still the best thing that’s even happened to me… I promise, I love my daughter” Kristen said with an awkward smirk.
“Wow… maybe I’m glad I don’t have any kids then” Ginny said with a little concerned cringe as Kristen softly laughed, lightening the mood.
“It’s okay, I guess it’s just harder by yourself sometimes, but plenty of people manage to do it, so I know I can do it, I know I can be a good mom still” Kristen confidently said.
“Yes! Positive energy, keep pushing that positive energy” Ginny said, nodding her head. Kristen paused for a moment.
“Hey, there’s something a little weird I wanted to ask you” Kristen said, feeling a little nervous.
“Sure, anything” Ginny replied.
“Uh… when you… uh, how do I say this… when you moved into the neighborhood, did anyone leave like, incredibly detailed toys behind, like little miniature playsets maybe?” Kristen asked.
“No, I don’t think so, why… did someone leave stuff here for you to find?” Ginny asked.
“Oh… haha, no, I was just curious, I heard about that or something one time in some dumb documentary” Kristen said, lying, but Ginny didn’t notice. The night creeping across the sky as Madelyn began to stir upstairs as the notification dinged on Kristen’s phone.
“Hey, thanks for inviting me over, I’ll leave you alone with Maddy, right? Anyway, let’s do dinner sometime, maybe with some other neighbors, give you chance to make some friends here” Ginny said as she stood up, Kristen following her to the front door of her house as Ginny slipped her feet back into her running shoes.
“Yeah, I’d love to!” Kristen enthusiastically replied.
“Great, I’ll text you. It was nice to meet you again, take care, positive vibes!” Ginny said, exiting the house.
“See ya!” Kristen replied, feeling the briskly chilly air for a moment before she shut the door and went upstairs to see Maddy.
As the day wound down, Kristen was already preparing herself to wake up a few times during the night if Madelyn couldn’t fully sleep. Kristen in the bathroom going about her nightly routine, feeling much better she had the chance to talk to a potential friend. Kristen changing out the pads in her bra as she finished up in the bathroom.
Kristen tended to Maddy and then crawled into bed, turning off the lamps, but keeping on a small nightlight by Madelyn’s crib so that she could still see if she was awoken in the middle of the night. Kristen was confident that Madelyn was finally asleep. Kristen sitting up in her bed, her back resting against the pillows and backboard behind her as she pulled up her phone from the nightstand next to her.
She answered a few texts from Leslie and sending another thank you to Ginny who reacted with a few smiley faces as Kristen smiled, but the smile quickly went away as she pulled up her monitor app. Kristen’s cameras showing the country and the cities in the rooms, the flashing and blinking lights in the darkness of the room looked kind of peaceful as if looking at stars in the sky, it was almost relaxing in a way as Kristen continued to refuse the darker thoughts in her head, pushing away the thoughts if she was a taker of life, insisting that she was a good person and there’s no way she was responsible for millions of deaths already, but the reality was there whether she liked it or not, millions of micro people found themselves crushed under her body even if she didn’t want to think about it.
Kristen needed a plan as she put her phone down and sunk into her blankets and soft sheets, turning her body over as she closed her eyes, breathing steadily as began to formulate her next actions with the tiny people in her room, deciding to see if she could help them herself, not wanting to get anyone else involved as it might only cause more chaos…