“So! I trust your journey here was enjoyable? Kudos, Virgil, for taking Eros on the long way; it is the best way to approach this fair kingdom.”

The Adversary had invited them into His office. It was furnished entirely in clean, modern, Scandinavian-style furniture – exquisite in its simplicity. A cheery fire flickered along the wall by where they sat; Satan had directed them to a set of couches and comfortable chairs, rather than the desk in the corner of the room.

“Can I get either of you anything to drink? Virgil, some wine? Lord Eros, some ouzo? Or maybe a cosmopolitan? I understand you've come to like those.”

“No, thank you, Shaitan.”

“Please, call me Lucifer. Titles are so stuffy; I mean, certainly, they're useful in keeping the rabble in line, but you and I are both Gods, and Virgil – well, he's been here before; he's a welcome guest. You're sure you won't take a drink? I, myself, am going to have a scotch. And I know Hephaestus will be drinking his customary ouzo. Please, gentlemen, I insist.”

“All right,” Eros said, “I'll take some red wine.”

“As will I,” said Virgil.

“Excellent,” said The Adversary, turning to an imp who had appeared suddenly at his side. “Two glasses of the 1945 Château Mouton Rothschild for our guests, Ouzo Giannatsi for the Chancellor, and I will have the 40-year-old Laphroaig, neat, with water on the side.”

“Very good, sir,” the imp said, vanishing just long enough to reappear with a tray carrying four drinks.

“So, Eros, I assume you're here to ask why it is that I felt the need to divert the subject of your mother's bet,” Lucifer said, taking a sip of the tarry Islay scotch.

“Yes,” said Eros, warily. “I mean, it does create some problems in resolving the wager between my mother and Hephaestus.”

“A matter which is, of course, before the Council of Thirteen; I assume you are not planning to interfere on your mother's behalf? To try to influence the result in any way? After all, that would be in violation of the Deeper Laws.”

“Certainly, no more than you have, Lucifer,” Eros said.

That brought a mirthful laugh from the Prince of Darkness. “Indeed! I suppose I walked right into that one, didn't I? Yes, I suppose waylaying Adam White has had the effect of interfering in this particular wager, although of course, I am not a party to that wager, and I am not working on the Chancellor's behalf. My interests are separate from the matter they are investigating.”

“Well then, as someone not working on my mother's behalf, and not a party to that wager, may I ask what those interests are? And find out if we can get this resolved, so that Adam can get home to his wife before he vanishes into nothingness?”

“'Nothingness?' Tsk, tsk, Eros, you know full well that Mr. White will not vanish. What was the line from that work by Matheson? Ah, yes – zero is just a number. There are worlds beyond zero. White will slip deeper and deeper into the infinite smallness – at least until he starves to death, or suffocates. I wonder which will happen first?”

Eros sighed, and looked over at Vigil for help. The poet added, quietly, “Lucifer, my friend is speaking metaphorically, of course, but he is right in this: once Adam drops below a threshold height – say, a millimeter or two – the larger world becomes utterly alien to him. As does his wife.”

“And that is a problem, I suppose, because he won't be able to get to have a teary, heartfelt moment where he can tell his wife goodbye? Or better still, that miraculous recovery where everything is okay and our friends enjoy a happy ending?”

“Well, yes,” said Eros.

“I see. Now, first of all, please don't take this the wrong way, as you are always welcome here in Hell, and I would gladly meet with a fellow deity any day, for no reason whatsoever; still, I must ask why you felt it was so important to travel here to ask about such a triviality?”

Eros looked at the Dark Lord, nonplussed, as He continued.

“So Adam will be denied a last good-bye? So Stephanie will not be able to tell her husband she loves him, one last time? Do you know how many thousands of times that will happen in just your reality today? How many husbands will die in car crashes, how many wives will be killed in terrorist bombings, how many soldiers will die on the battlefield, removed from their loved ones? How many people will slip away unconscious, unable to speak, unable to communicate? I suppose it is sad, in a way, but it is not a matter that should concern you particularly.

“As for miraculous recoveries, they happen. But rarely. They are miraculous, after all. And while I understand your mother would like the Whites to have one, ask your mother how many Trojan soldiers died in agony, apart from their spouses, with naught but Hades as their reward?Not that I'm criticizing, I Myself am not opposed to a bit of sorrow; sorrow is good. It's my job.”

Eros shook his head. “You don't have to spread evil in this case,” he started, but Lucifer cut him off.

“Spread evil? You mean, like supporting sodomites as they fall deep in lust with each other? Supporting virgins as they throw themselves at their boyfriends, befouling themselves? Supporting people as they stray from their partners, in search of the perfect lay? All these things 'spread evil,' to use your words. And yet that is your job, is it not, Eros? Spreading lust for men, just as your daughter spreads lust for women?”

“It is,” Eros said, shifting uncomfortably. “But I also support the two men getting married after forty years together. I support the girlfriend giving herself happily to her boyfriend, their bond growing deeper. I support the partners so deeply in love and lust that they wouldn't stray if my entire family appeared at their door, naked and willing.”

“Just so; your work is neither good nor evil. It is neutral. You provide the spark, the momentary attraction, the passing glimpse, the appeal to ardor. What is done with it is up to the human who experiences it.

“And this is what I do, Eros. I do not spread evil; I spread sorrow. I support despair. I support, yes, lies. But I do so not in support of evil. Sorrow can motivate one to avoid repeating mistakes. Despair can be transcended into resolution. Lies can be crafted into beautiful stories. You and I are not different, Eros. We do what we do, and the humans – the humans make their own decisions as to what it means.”

“And yet in this case, Lucifer, you've diverted Adam White yourself, for your own needs. Why?”

Lucifer smiled. “A fair question. Let's just say your mother doesn't know her own strength. Adam White's transformation is not a minor, one-off miracle; it is power that I do not possess. I am curious about it, as is Marbas; after all, he had not come up with this in seven thousand years of research, and he's...well, a bit embarrassed.”

“So why not just ask Aphrodite for some tips? Why all this?”

“Like your mom would help Lucifer,” said Hephaestus. “She's got the same prejudice that you have, thinks Satan is evil personified, that if he gets hold of this, he'll use it for nefarious goals.”

“Well, will You?”

Satan smiled. “Of course not,” he said.

Eros fought down the chortle. “All right,” said Eros. “Tell you what – you release Adam White, I'll set up a meeting for you with Aphrodite. You can talk to her directly. I have a feeling she'll be amenable – she feels like she's really hurt Adam and Stephanie, and she wants to put things right.”

“And then your mother will happily help Me with My project. Oh, Eros, isn't it pretty to think so? No, I'm sorry, I don't generally make deals with Gods, and in this case, Mr. White's release, and the subsequent publicity that would inevitably follow, would compromise certain of My operations on Earth. I'm sorry to say that I can't do that. Mr. White will die in captivity. But he's just a volitional; it is his fate to live and die at the whim of the gods – something your mother you and your mother used to understand.”

Before Eros could respond, the imp appeared at Lucifer's elbow again, this time with a piece of paper, which he handed to the Prince of Darkness. Lucifer took the paper, and read it, and his eyebrows shot up.

“Well, well,” he said. “Thank you,” he said, handing the paper back to the imp, who vanished again. Lucifer fixed Eros with a formulated gaze. “It appears I will have to cut this meeting short. Something is occurring on Earth which requires my attention.

“Gentlemen, it's lovely that you came to visit. Don't be strangers. And I assume you'll be at the hearing before the Council, Eros?”

“I will be,” Eros said, rising as Satan did.

“Good. I'll see you there. And we will have a few things to discuss,” And abruptly, Hell dissolved, and Eros and Virgil were standing back on the beach of the God-Teachers' Guild.

“What happened?” said Eros, puzzled.

“Well,” Virgil began, but Eros cut him off.

“Ouranos's balls, that was useless! We got nothing, other than that The Adversary wants to know what my mom is up to, and that he doesn't want to let Adam White go.”

“Exactly,” said Virgil. “And that is enough, is it not?”

Eros started to object, but stopped himself. It was. It told him he was right to send Aoibhell to guard Adam. That Lucifer was unwilling to negotiate, and that if He was going to freelance for his own reasons, Eros had a free hand, too. After all, when Adam got home, Stephanie would no doubt want to show her husband affection; it was Eros's job to see that moment came.

He kissed Virgil on the cheek and promised to return to the God-Teacher's Guild in the future. Then, with a quick good-bye, he left. He would need to catch up with Aoibheal. Especially if Lucifer was going to.

* * *

Adam scurried across the parking lot, not daring to believe he was actually free.

Tanith had been the one to inadvertently free him – she had put her key in the door and walked right by him, her skirt fluttering in such a way as to show off her clean-shaven legs and her white thong; if Adam had not known that she was evil at her core, he might have been attracted As it was, he paid her beauty no mind, and raced out into the wider world.

He was rushing toward high grass, carefully working his way under the few cars in the parking lot; he had been both amused and terrified to see Tanith race out into the lot, and scan it – but she didn't see him in the early morning light, and she raced back inside to sound the alarm. A few minutes later, a car pulled up, and Marbas himself had gotten out, accompanied by Andousha; they had begun arguing almost immediately with Tanith, who was gesticulating wildly.

Adam kept moving. He had reached the curb at the edge of the small lot, and he found the concrete had pits and handholds that made it easy for him to reach the edge of the sidewalk. But he knew that he had to find help, witting or unwitting; last time, Andousha had found him, despite having no way of knowing where he was. He knew in his soul that she had not tracked him with her eyes. And so he stood by the sidewalk, praying for a miracle.

When the crow plucked him from the ground and carried him up into the air, high above the ground, he hoped that this was not the end. He hoped that the crow was here to help, like the rat had been. He hoped his prayers had been heard.

And they had.

* * *

From the edge of the parking lot, a Goddess was reaching out with all her powers, blanketing the ground with confusion, with a thousand false positives that would throw the demonic trio off long enough to lose their quarry. Aoibheal chuckled to herself as she watched Marbas and his succubus dissolve into recrimination.

She watched as Aoife plucked Adam with alacrity; the plan was for her to carry Adam a mile or two away, where he would have a chance to make it to safety on his own. More they dared not do; they were interfering quite a bit already. But they could give Adam his chance, and as part of that chance, Aoibheal would have to find a way to delay and distract those who sought him.

And so, as Adam and Aoife flew safely away, she strode into the lot, and headed straight for her enemy.

Marbas saw her, and started; he did not recognize her, but he knew her by her aura. And the instant he saw her, he cursed.

“How dare you interfere with my Master's operation? How dare you enter this desecrated building?”

“I would not sanctify your halls, demon. I did not enter your building. Adam White escaped from your lair without my assistance.” This was, of course, literally true; the púca had done all the heavy lifting thus far.

“Still, you are interfering with our search. I can tell. You are stretching your powers, Goddess. You are keeping us from seeing.”

“Aye,” Aoibheal said. “I am. You have imprisoned Adam White; I am helping him get away from you. This should not be a surprise to you, as evil is generally countered by good.”

“Is it really?”

That voice surprised Aoibheal, and she wheeled, as Marbas dropped to a knee, and motioned to his minions to do the same.

“Aoibheal of Thomond? Quite a long way from County Cork, are we not?”

“Well,” she said. “Satan Himself. 'Tis a bit surprising to see you here, Dark Lord. What are you here for, other than to excoriate your underlings?”

“Oh, that is part of the reason for my arrival here; Marbas, I must say I am quite disturbed that a high value target such as this was not monitored constantly.”

“But...my Lord...he was caged, inside a locked laboratory. He could only escape with help....”

“Precisely. And lo and behold, it turns out that when you interfere in a bet between Gods, Gods then feel free to meddle with you. I may not be thrilled to see this young lady here, assisting in confusing and hiding Mr. White, but I am not nearly as angry at her as I am at you. She is merely playing her role. You are failing at yours.”

Marbas looked up at Satan in abject terror. “Please, my Lord...I beg of you, give me a chance to make this right. The investigation...we are close enough that I can complete what I need through trial and error. We need only dispose of White before he makes it to the press – and our presence here will go unnoticed.”

Lucifer smiled thinly. “Well, Marbas, I'm glad to hear this wasn't a total waste. But no, it is too late; unless I miss my guess, Adam White is already halfway to freedom at this point. No, you will go back to the palace. And you will wait in your chamber for Me. And you had best be right about how close you are to solving this. Because it is the only thing keeping you from being damned.”

Marbas turned white as a ghost, but he nodded, and with a soft pop, he disappeared from the earthly realm.

“Now, as for you, Aoibheal...as I cannot allow Gods to cross me unpunished, I suppose I must take action here. Prepare to stand and defend.”

Aoibheal swallowed hard; she was no match for Satan's powers. But she prepared to stand and defend, as the ancient laws said she must.

* * *

The crow swooped over the grass, flying lower and lower, until it reached a near stall; it opened its claws, and dropped its quarry onto the ground.

Adam bounced against the ground, and looked as the beast alighted a few feet from him. He stood up, and looked carefully; there was an intelligence in the eyes of the creature, and if he didn't know better, he'd almost think that it bore a resemblance to the look in the eyes of the rat the night before.

“Thank you,” he said, to the bird. The enormous crow bowed its head, and...Adam swore this was not his imagination...said in a soft Irish brogue, “You are most certainly welcome, Adam. Now, quickly – you are in a place that will afford you a chance to get home, if you take it.”

With that, the bird flew off.

Adam looked up at the building he had been placed outside of. And he realized the crow was right; this would get him home.

He just had to get into the post office which stood not far from him; from there, it was...well, it would still be amazingly difficult. But he would make it home. He would make it home to Stephanie. As God was his witness, he would make it home.