SUMMER, 2002
When it came to the Hellmouth of Cleveland, Ohio, there was no denizen of it more frightening than...MIMI BOBECK!!!
Ten feet tall, and built like a sumo wrestler on steroids, the self-proclaimed "Vampire Queen of Cleveland" had usurped local rulership of the city from her vampiric sire, Mr. Bell (whom most humans had merely considered an eccentrically reclusive department store owner). And, she ruled with the proverbial iron hand.
It was quite easy to displease her. For example; she hated how she was portrayed on the sit-com known as "The Drew Carey Show." So, she hired the Order of Teraka to abduct the show's eponymous star from the set of "Whose Line Is It, Anyway?". Unfortunately, they took the quartet of resident improvisational comics, as well!
The next thing he knew, Dan Patterson (the executive producer of WLIIA) was receiving a ransom note. One which demanded that the character of Mimi was to henceforth be played by supermodel Heidi Klum. Or else...!
On the advice of ABC's Legal Department, Patterson consulted the new head of Wolfram and Hart's Los Angeles branch. And, _he_ advised Patterson to retain the services of...the Slayers.
Learning that they were made up of mostly twenty-something young women, Patterson sent Laura Hall (his musical co-ordinator) as liason. She explained everything to them as she paced nervously, back-and-forth, wearing her favorite ensemble (a sequined purple shirt with rainbow-winged butterflies; gray floral-print skirt; and brown open-toed high heels).
"If Dan agrees," she concluded: "...he's to drop off an autographed photo of Ms. Klum no later than midnight, tonight."
"Where at?" asked Buffy Summers, the Slayer-in-Chief.
"The board room at Loudermilk's Department Store."
Buffy nodded: "Then, we'll be there at 11:45!"
*****
To be more accurate, Buffy came crashing through the skylight above the conference table at 11:45 PM. Followed by Faith and Kennedy, her top two fellow Slayers.
Queen Mimi could only laugh: "You three are Slayers? I could turn you all into pancakes just by sitting on you!"
"Says the bee-yotch who _wears_ more pancake than all the clowns in Ringling Brothers put together," quipped Faith.
Queen Mimi hated having her cosmetic acumen criticized. So, she sprang to her feet with a roar, while lifting the conference table at the same time. Faith jumped off to the left, and Kennedy did the same to the right. Buffy did a backwards somersault in place, so that she landed just as the now upside-down table was about to land on her head.
With Faith and Kennedy's help, she reversed its direction and brought it down on the vampiric giantess' head.
CRASH!
Mimi roared again; this time, in pain. Faith and Kennedy took advantage of this by using their four intertwined hands to lauch Buffy up and on to the back of Mim's neck. And, when the Vampire Queen tried to snatch her off, the other two Slayers grabbed one massive hand each.
What ensued resembled an obscene taffy-pulling contest.
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" shouted Buffy: "T-T-Take it easy, girls!"
"H-H-Hurry up!" Kennedy yelled back: "We c-c-can't hold on..."
"...much l-longer," finished Faith.
So, Buffy tightened the grip her encircled legs had on Mimi's throat, and plunged her diamond-tipped wooden stake straight through the protective blubber covering the vampiric giantess' heart.
"ARRRRRRRRRGH!"
POOF!
She converted into dust and ash, so fast, Faith and Kennedy fell on their butts. While Buffy landed on the Vampire Queen's steel-reinforced throne, toppling it backwards!
*****
"Where did you find them?" asked Willow Rosenberg.
"In a box, underneath the throne," replied Kennedy: "And, I have to admit it. They're kind of cute like this!"
The six-inch tall figures of Drew Carey, Ryan Stiles, Colin Mochrie, Wayne Brady, and Greg Proops frowned up at their rescuers, in self-conscious resentment.
"Can you re-enlarge them, Will?" asked Buffy
"Eventually! But, it's not going to be easy gathering the proper ingredients for the counter-spell."
"What about the show?" demanded Laura Hall: "What's Dan going to do about that?"
It was eventually decided that WLIIA would go into incessant re-runs. In the meantime, Laura and the Slayers would each take care of one of the shrunken men!
"I'll take Wayne," said Faith: "After all; black is beautiful!"
"I'll take Ryan," said Kennedy: "I love his taste in shoes."
"I'll take Colin," said Willow: "His bald head is as cute as a baby's bottom."
"I'll take Greg," said Buffy: "Because he looks so intellectual."
"Goody!" exclaimed Laura, clapping in glee: "That leaves Drew for me. And, I want to have a heart-to-heart talk with him about the way he once insulted this shirt!"
Drew could only gulp nervously, as Laura reached down to take him out of the box.
THE END
Giantess World
Author's Chapter Notes:
Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from any recognizable characters or concepts.
Chapter End Notes:
Happy Halloween, folks! :-D