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I've discovered that Hispanic women often have the sexiest feet.  Take my girlfriend, Maria, for example; her soft, delicate skin is just the right shade of sexiness and her feet are cute and suple. 

After she unknowingly ground me into her sole and suffocated me with her warm skin, this became even more apparent to me.

To make a long (and frustrating) back story short: I went to my girlfriend's apartment to say "bye" before I left for my friend's bachelor party.  Maria and I had been dating for 2 years, and while marriage was certainly on her mind, I was still quite hesitant. 

Her roommate, Sasha, had answered the door.  Sasha is your typical "hot" chick; nice butt, great legs, attractive face, and complete lack of personality.  She informed me that Maria was not back from class, but that I could wait on the couch.

Don't get me wrong; Sasha has always been nice to me, but I could tell, deep down, that she didn't like me.  I assumed this was due to the differences between Maria and I; Maria was Hispanic, from another country, was a regular church-goer, and had never been drunk.  Me, on the other hand...well, let's just say I've prayed to my share of toilet-gods.

"Maria's my friend, you know," Sasha told me as she rustled through her purse. 

"Yeah.  She mentioned something about that over these past two years," I replied.  Mistake one.

Sasha turned back toward me.  She was wearing an extremely tiny shorts--borderline underwear--and a tight top.  She scrunched her toes in her flip-flops.  "You always had a way with sarcasm, Jake."  She smiled a slightly devilish grin.  I began to feel uncomfortable.

I stood up.  "Just tell me when she gets back, Sasha.  I'll come back over."  Mistake two.

Sasha walked toward me.  "Actually, Jake, I'm going to tell her that you left for the bachelor party and didn't want to wait on her."

I was a bit shocked.  "Why would you do that?" 

Sasha came closer, then suddenly pushed me back down on the couch.  "Because, Jake; tonight, I'm going to convince her to break up with you."  With that, she quickly sprayed something into my mouth from a bottle she had taken from her purse.  Before I could react, my head grew dizzy, and I found myself getting nausuas.  I closed my eyes to keep from vomiting...

...and woke up in total darkness.  I found myself laying on some sort of soft leather; around me, the air was cool, but a sweet, pungnent odor greeted my nose.  It was famaliar, yet also a bit revulting.  I couldn't place it.

"Jake, I want you to know that this isn't personal," Sasha's voice boomed.  It surrounded me and shook me, like deep, strong speakers at a rock concert.  I stood, confused and, I discovered, totally naked.

"I also want you to know that what you will experience tonight won't kill you--I don't think--but will be extremely painful, both physically and mentally."  Her voice was impossibly loud.

Suddenly, bright light seared my eyes. I glanced down to avoid it, and noticed gigantic letters under my feet: Guess.  I looked around, and discovered I was in some sort of leather container; a further look revealed that the "container" was actually a flat mule--more specifically, a shoe that looked very similar to a pair of Guess mules I had bought for Maria last Christmas. 

The situation suddenly dawned in my mind--and my shocked brain tried to process what Sasha had done to me.  I was barely an inch tall.  I was totally naked.  I was inside Maria's left shoe.  And above me, Sasha's giantess face smiled yet again.

"Sasha--What--" I stammered.

Sasha shook the shoe, and I feel down again on the soft sole.  "Jake, I want you to know something else: When Maria comes back, I'm going to convince her to go out with me tonight for a 'girl's chat' at Thrusday's Resturant.  I going to convince her to break up with you.  And, I am going to convince Maria to wear these shoes tonight--omitting, of course, that you are inside them."

I was stunned.  My heart raced.  She continued:  "Don't worry.  As I said, she won't kill you...but you won't be happy.  You two might be very intimate, but I doubt you've ever smelled the sole of her feet after 3 hours of walking on these flat mules...or felt the weight of a giantess crushing your tiny body, totally unaware of the tremendous pain she is causing her helpless, tiny boyfriend."

Suddenly, a loud "bang" issued in the apartment.  Sasha stood up, high above the shoe.  "Maria's home, Jake.   I parked your car behind the apartment so she wouldn't see it.  And the fun is just beginning."  With that, she giggled slightly, then closed Maria's closet door, leaving me in the dark. 

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