When I was still young enough to believe in things I had the terrible misfortune of finding myself lost in the wooded park behind my parent's house. I had wandered off one late afternoon to avoid my visiting grandparents. Forests have a strangely innate capacity to instill a child's mind with wonder and dread. The trees loomed overhead in a terrifying cluster of silent, shadowy pillars of pitiless arbitration. I remember sobbing for hours, until I heard my father's voice calling out to me in the distance. When I found him all I could do was apologize between the heaving sobs. Dad wasn't angry and when we finally returned to the house I asked him why he never seemed afraid of those woods. He smiled in return before offering me one of the two of his canonical life lessons. He said:

“You never really stop being afraid of things. You just become more afraid of other things”

For a while I didn’t quite know what he meant, but I liked it. I’d tell other people the same thing in the hope that they thought me just as wise. It never really worked out though.

The second lesson didn’t come until I was eighteen. One day, in the back of his old bakery, he was scraping the charred flecks of dough off an old baking sheet. I had just gotten in from the first snowfall of the winter. When he saw me he said I looked like a funnel cake. I didn’t really know how to react to that so, with a twinge of angst in my voice I asked him:

“Dad why do you gotta say stuff like that?”

He took it more seriously than I’d expected.

“Just who I am son…” he began. There was no ludicrous laugh to accompany it. He just kept on cleaning.

“You mean a pastry chef?” I eventually replied.

“Yes a chef...and a father.”

I don’t mean to sound cliche but...I just sort of knew then. He was enough. He put the garbage out twice a week. He used to drive two hours every weekend to visit our ailing aunt a few counties over. It wasn't fair what happened to him. None of it was. 

Years later, after the first arrived, I went back to my childhood home. I returned to the forest and gazed up in in startling awe at the narrow trees. They seemed even taller than they had been in my youth, as though they had been growing. Growing. I found myself thinking of Dad. 

It was only a year after the invasion when they pulled him out from beneath that collapsed roof. Our shop left in a pile of rubble with most of our hometown. Talk to anyone else about those days and they’ll probably go on about the long stretch of cars packed with desperate people. The cold, powerless nights that followed. Maybe even how dirty it was, how everything was painted a dull grey by dust of our fallen towers.

I don’t remember if I cried then or if I waited till I was out by that creek near Garst’s Hollow. Since then things have been, as my father would’ve said, “just mean”.

 

“Ellis?”

“Yes, sorry”

“Its right this way, sir”

“My apologies lead on.”

The man wore a dark blue that sat heavily on him. Atop his head was the usual bulky commando-type helmet, and on his chest was a midnight vest. God why did they even where those things? Our enemies didn’t fight with bullets or blades. It didn’t matter. Sometimes none of it seemed like it did.

As I looked around the rest of the camp I saw only translucent outlines through the dust and haze. For a place with only twelve working vehicles it constantly seemed to have traffic. You couldn’t take ten steps without having to stop for a passing truck.

Aside from the few grey, box-shaped buildings near the camp’s center almost nothing appeared taller than a few meters. That is of course, except for the chamber.

During my time in Camp Charlie I had seen one being built. The foundations were set with heavy steel beams and a vast array pulleys were being used to hoist the vertical beams into place. However, it didn’t even come close to comparing with a completed one. Enormous, partially opaque panes of frosted plexiglass stretched up into the sky for what seemed like miles. It was quite impressive.

When they flew me into the camp I couldn’t take my eyes off the damn thing. It wasn’t until this morning that I really got to see it in all its glory. Sure enough, through the slightly tinted walls I could see the dark shape inside.

“Its almost six-hundred feet tall, I think a little more…” my guide said amid the grumble of engines. “Cost us quite a bit too, I don’t remember the exact figure to be honest.”

“If you don’t mind me asking…” I began in response. “How long has it been here?”

“Went up basically as soon as she got here. I bet that’s almost a month now.”

“And you haven’t had any issues with it?”

“Nah, the walls got a few cracks in them after her first night but the engineers say they shouldn’t be a problem.” He abruptly stopped in front of a filthy aluminum staircase that led up to one of the buildings adjacent to the looming facility. “Yeah, I think she’s finally come to terms with it all. In the next few days we’ll pump it full of chlorine gas and that’ll be the end of our problem.”

“Few days?” I replied. I could feel the tremble in my voice. I hadn’t anticipated only having a few days to do my job. I figured it take at least a week before I got anything useful out of her. My guide clearly heard it too.

“Yeah…” he started with a little more severity in his voice. “Its not much but its a start after all they’ve done. We’ll get ‘em, one way or another.”

With that sitting in my head I gave him a quick nod and began to ascend the stairs. All the way up I could feel his eyes boring into the back of my skull. God, if she doesn’t kill me they no doubt will.

 

Opening the door to the facility was like stepping into a refrigerator. The heat of the outside world fled before rush of air escaping from the interior. As the cascade sworded through the remaining heat I nearly fell forward.

The building was dark. Ominous? No, strict was more like it. Oddly enough it was packed. I hadn’t seen so many people in...well years. Everyone seemed busy too. As though they thought idleness was some kind of deadly plague. Constructive chaos! Yes that’s what it was. Nothing seemed to follow a pattern. There were definitely rules, but none that were so easily figured. So I walked forward.

After simply casting myself into the foray of folders and footfalls I grew especially quiet. No one even seemed to notice I was there. What’s worse was I stook out. I gripped the sleeves of my plain white shirt and strode forward through the sea of navy blue.

“Ellis?” another voice to my right said. A firm hand seized my shoulder and I shuddered. “Right this way sir, Grim and Treble are in here.”

My head swiveled to face another militiamen, almost identical to the first. He gestured in  through a side door and I followed. Each step, each swing of my arms felt robotic. I was always self-conscious about how I moved about in the different camps. They were always so...well different. Everything about the way people talk, the way they conduct themselves, it was maddening. Always took me a bit longer to adjust than most but oh well. Today I had bigger problems.

“Ahh there he is. Good now we can begin!”

“I apologize for my tardiness sirs, I promise it won’t happen again.”

“Ahh I don’t give a damn about your punctuality I just want this job over and done with.”

“Done with sir?” I sheepishly replied. My eyes dare not meet his. The Constable’s name was well deserved. The only thing that could make his eyes any more eerie would be a pair of scars jutting down both halves of his face.

“Yes done with. Just give the stamps of approval, sign whatever you have to sign, push whatever papers need pushing just clear us for the execution and we can get on with our lives.”

“You do realize I’m not hear just to condemn this woman sir I…”

“Woman?!” he grumbled. “They told me you were a soft one. Should’ve assumed as much. You psycho- types always are. Well lets get one thing straight SIR.”

“Constable Grim perhaps its best we hear him out. He is the professional after all.” A spritely bald man with a pair of orange tinted glassed intervened.

“Hear him out? If it weren’t for-”

“That’ll be enough, Constable Grim…” another eerie voice said out of the shadows. I recall his silhouette was towering. His shoulders sharp, making his whole body appear like an arrow.

“Treble?”

“Yes,” the tall uniformed man replied.

“I’m sorry sir, i didn’t see you there I was just explaining.”

“That’s quite alright Grim, you may go see to the hydraulics.”

Grim’s eyes blinked rapidly. A slight angry twitch appeared above his left eyebrow.

“yes...sir” he groaned before finally departing.

Treble turned to face me. Though his expression and features were far softer he still emitted an aura of intimidation.

“And you are….” Treble snapped his fingers at the bald man.

“Ellis” the bald man remarked.

“Yes Ellis. So glad you could come out here. I hear you’re quite good at this sort of thing, no?”

“With people sure, I’ve never tried this with one of ...well them”

“Not to worry, I assure you it is quite safe. We have an understanding her and I…”

“Before I begin I’d like to ask you a few questions if that’s alright.”

Treble thought for a moment. He folded his arms tightly behind his back and strode over to the line of monitors hanging from the wall.

“Go on…” he finally said.

“First, if I could just get an age…”

“Age?”

“Yeah, you know, how old is she…”

“Somewhere between 20 and 35 I’d guess…”

“You…” I paused “you don’t have a positive age?”

“I’m afraid she has not shared that with us.”

“Ok, height…”

“Well you see we haven’t really been able to get a lot of her...information. She hasn’t been all that cooperative as you can imagine.”

“Do you at least have a name?”

Treble looked back at me with a smirk. Something about it made me sick to my stomach. There seemed far less of a man in that face.   

“No, of course not. Is it important?”

“I’d like to think so….” I stopped again. I suppose I can’t say I was surprised by their apathy toward my mission, but I would have thought they’d at least...talked to her? I don’t know what they’ve been doing but it made my skin crawl. My folder clapped loudly as I tossed it on the metal table next to me.

“Sir, with all do respect...you do know WHY I am here, right?”

Treble motioned to the bald man who, in response, rushed over to the computers against the wall. With his stubby hands he began to peck away at the many keyboards. Several video feeds appeared on the screens. Little could be seen in them though. In one the right side was completely blocked. In another a dark shape could been seen in the lower left corner.

“She’s been finding more and more of the cameras. Now we only have  a few left, and she always sits in the their blind spots.”

“You never answered my question, sir”

Treble sighed and placed a hand on my shoulder.

“Of course I do. However, if I may make a suggestion.” he paused and leaned in a bit closer. “The men here. They just want all this to go away. I don’t blame them. She took out quite a few when we first got a hold of her. You do what you have to do, but I don’t know what you expect to find. The people here won’t stand for her release. You have three days to see if she is worth keeping around, I want as much intel as you can mine out of her. Understood?”

The tone of his voice told me that there was not much more I could say on the matter. I nodded. I felt his hand slide off my back. Then, I was alone. A few seconds later a voice down the hallway called out to me.

“Whenever you’re ready…”

I had thought about this for a long time, and given the situation I thought it only appropriate to follow through with my plan. I edged to the doorway and leaned up against its frame. Treble waited for me in the hallway with a troop of guards behind him.

“Well?” he asked.

“I’m going in there with her…”

The assembly laughed. Again, I had expected as much. However, when Treble caught my unfaltering eyes he knew I was being serious. His own stoicism returned. A slight twitch creeped up along the muscles of his neck, just perceptible enough for me to catch.

“That is, I hate to say, impossible…”

“Look this is how I operate I need her to know I’m not just...well you know one of you guys.”

“That may be but it is completely out of the question. Need I remind you what happened to the last person caught in her reach. Or would you like to see the videos yourself.”

I held up my hand. Through a stutter I managed to continue. “L-l-ook, has she hurt anyone since she’s been contained?”

The troop of officers muttered softly to themselves but gave me no clear response. Treble stared forward with a straight face, though I swore I picked up a few traces of contempt.

“This all part of my plan, just let me do things the way I do. I promise, I’ll have results for you by the end of the day.”

One portly captain snorted loudly and began chattering something to a woman in a dark jacket. Treble waved them away and motioned down the hall.

“Very well...if you must…”

 

Minutes later I stood at an enormous steel threshold. Huge metal rods, thick than my arms, held the door in place. A complex web of interlocking gears and tumblers covered the radial dial of the gateway. Two sentries, each dressed in the usual blue uniforms, began to pull a series of levers along the wall next to it.

Whilst they went about unlocking the door I scratched my shoulder nervously. I could hardly feel my fingers through the course fabric of my grey jumper. They had insisted I wear a duller color whilst with the prisoner. They claimed that bright colors might “overstimulate” her. Amateurs. God it was uncomfortable. It was a small price to pay though for this kind of access.

My eyes zipped about my dark surroundings. Sweat beaded up along my neck. Try as I might I could not calm my nerves. Was it excitement? No. Fear was more likely. I kept checking the laminated papers in my hand, as if they had my future written between the lines somewhere. I kept looking down. Stared at my feet for a while. Listened to the clicking of locks and gears slowly grinding open. Then, there was  huge puff of air that nearly knocked me to the floor. I looked up and saw the door was open. A pale, bluish light flooded in. Suddenly, a felt hand slap me on my back. I jumped.

“Hah, she gettin’ to ya already?” the guard behind me said. He quickly removed his palm from my shoulder and pointed toward the doorway. “Best be getting along then, good luck you’ll need it.”

“I-I’ll be fine, I’ve done this before.” I sheepishly muttered.

The other one then spoke from the far corner of the room. “Hey its your funeral man…”

That was just what I needed. I felt like I was going to vomit. But, there was no going back now. After a few uneasy steps I was through the door. No sooner had I cleared it that I felt it slam shut behind me. I was in a hallway, marked on either side by two incredibly tall walls of what looked like frosted glass. Looking up I saw each wall extended up above me almost infinitely.

I stepped down the hallway, out into the main chamber. My god it was amazing. The interior stretched  out in either direction at least three hundred feet. The roof hung overhead, but it was impossible to tell just how high. Directly above me was a crescent shaped walkway a hundred feet off the ground, built from thin strips of black metal.

The air felt damp and warm, like after a summer rain. I saw along the pure white floor were puddles of water. The edge of the container’s floor was raised four feet off the central platform, creating a simple, slippery border around the facility’s basin. I remember looking to every edge and nook of that place. I told myself it was to look for any possible breaches, weaknesses, or escape routes, but now looking back on in it I know I was just putting off our first face to face. However, with someone that large, you can only avoid looking at them for so long.

In the far right corner, propped up against two of the walls was, who higher powers called, Subject Aleph. Why? I don’t know. It seemed stupid to me. Why not just use her real name? I guess its natural for them. As natural as it is for her.

She didn’t look at me at first. I thought I had managed to slip in undetected.

Her face was mostly covered by her dark umber hair. Her shoulders slumped against the facility’s walls. Her legs, smooth, stretched out across the length of the basin such that her feet rested flat against the far wall. Both hands lay, folded over one another, on top of her stomach. She didn’t move at all, aside from her steady breathing.

I took a few cautious steps forward. The puddles of water seeped up into the toes of my shoes. Then she spoke.

“What have you brought this time.” Each word fell hard onto the sheer wall faces. It echoed like thunder. The grinding of the earth against the frame of hangar. Her speech was deep but distinctly feminine, as if she had just woken up from a long rest. My heart nearly shattered my ribcage when I saw her head start to move. It was a simple tilt but it let her eyes rest squarely on me.

“Its a little early for-” She stopped. I could now see the rest of her face between the two spates of hair. In all, her features were soft, symmetric, but weary. A pinkish-grey mouth. Dark eyebrows over a pair of cerulean eyes. And I stood there, a grey man before a god. At least that’s how they would’ve put it. Nothing in her expression changed at first but after a few awkward moments it began to shrink into a look of suspicion.

“What are you supposed to be?” she finally said. The lilt in her voice was subtle. Had I not had it pointed out to me before, I would never have been able to pick up on their accents.

Searching for some break in the stiff proceedings I instinctively looked down at my papers again. I dared not to look in her the eyes once more. I saw the the puddle I was standing in wrinkle and I felt the ground beneath me shift ever so slightly. Looking back up Aleph had leaned in closer, her eyes narrowed.

“My lunch?”

“No”

“What was that little one?”

“I said…” My voice grew into a defensive scream. I quickly caught myself when I noticed her left eyebrow raise slightly. “I said no…” Her smirk faded a bit and I, foolishly, thought I had somehow won some ground. I straightened my collar and stood up a bit straighter.

“Sure you are…”

I squealed. So much for that confidence. Although I continued to hold my spine straight and my shoulder’s aligned I could feel a hideous shake start up in my knees.

“Why else would they send you in here alone like this.” she went on.

“Excuse me?”

“Its ok, what’d they tell you to get you in here? Inspection? That I was asleep? Lies, all of them. Sorry, they do that. I mean how else are they going to feed me?” Her voice trailed off in a malicious whisper. For a second I really believed her. I was about ready to turn and run, but then a voice crackled over the intercom. Although the message was warped by the cavernous interior of the containment chamber I could tell it was Treble. Aleph’s head arched up. As the intercom droned on she stared up at the ceiling like an attentive puppy. I was only able to make out the last bit of the message.

“...and we will not hesitate to use it.”

Well, at least the others had my back.

Aleph rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest. The smile on her face had long since faded away. Now, she let her body fall back onto the far wall, causing the whole facility to shake.

“They’re no fun.” she groaned.

“Yeah, I know…”

She looked back at me curiously. Another mischievous grin then appeared beneath a few loose strands of hair.

“You believed me?” She was clearly satisfied with herself. I said nothing, instead turning back to look at my papers. “Oooooh you did. Haha oh that’s good.” Still I said nothing. Her lips pursed. “Can’t touch you I’m afraid...no sir. Or else the all powerful voice in the ceiling will let me choke on whatever toxic stuff they have hidden up there. Nope, hands to myself or die. I mean come on...what am I four?”

I said nothing at first. Creeping chills ran along my nerve endings. The atmosphere was warm, but I could still feel the goosebumps upon my skin.

“No I uh...I requested to come in here and see you.”

Again I looked away. Again the ground quaked. And again I looked up into the titaness’ face. It would seem I had seized her attention.

“Now, why would you want to do that?”

 

 

As strange as it sounds all that I could think of was how peaceful it seemed. The colors streaming through the tinted walls had cast everything in cool light. The interior was comfortable and clean. Compared to the outside world it was a sterile reality away from the dream of war. Everywhere I went now, people carried guns. Dust swirled around like locusts. The earth was dry, sometimes cruel. Although I knew I was in immediate danger I did not for a second feel unsafe. I don’t know how else to explain it. It was almost unfair that she had this place to herself. So beautifully designed. One of the last bastions of human innovation. A white floored Eden and I was sharing it with woman who, as far as I could tell, either wanted me dead or alive for nefarious reasons.

Her eyelashes fluttered through the humid air. She awaited an answer. So I had to give her one. Initially I thought I would lie. Tell her something she might like to hear, or rather something that might scare her. Last second though I decided it was best to be up front. She’s used to being lied to, she wouldn’t expect the truth anyway.

“I’m here, to talk.” My words were terse. I thought it best to work my way up to fluid conversation.

“About what?”

“Whatever you want to talk about…” I cringed a bit. There was no way she’d ever buy that.

“Why are you reaaaally here?” she continued. I bit my lip and decided to just lay all my cards on the table right off the bat. “This another feeble attempt at an interrogation?”

“Yes...and no.”

“What does that mean?”

“Let me just sum it up for you…” I began. She rolled her eyes and turned away as if to feign disinterest. She slumped against the right wall and brought her knees up to her chest.

“We would like to know more about you. More about your...ehhh kind.”

“You already tried, you already failed. If you want to gas me, then just do it already. I don’t pander to tiny people.” With an air of disgust she turned her head away from me to stare at the wall next to her.

“That’s the other reason I’m here actually.”

She said nothing.

“I’m in charge of determining...I mean….I’m here to…” I stumbled over my words. I’d never felt so embarrassed. God what was I thinking. It was never going to work.

“I’m here to determine whether or not you should be executed…” I finally blurted out. Through the dewy haze I saw her head twitch. She wanted to look at me. Wanted to believe me, but she didn’t.

“Really?”

“Yes. I’m a...contractor of sorts, I do a variety of things. And well...they wanted me to come in and see if. Well if you really are a threat.”

She shuffled a bit uneasily. Her muscles tensed up and I could sense a flame of ferocity growing inside of her.

“Let's assume I believe you…” she finally said. “You’re telling me that if I sit here, and answer your damn questions, I might, just might, get a chance to walk free.”

“Well I won’t lie to you…The chances of you walking free again aren’t likely. If it was up to the men holding you. Well, you’d be dead already. They brought me here to see what you knew and then they were going to pump this chamber full of chlorine and send in you into oblivion. However, lucky for you, and for me I might add, it's not up to them.”

Again, she remained completely still.

“No…”

“No what?”

“No that’s not possible.”

“I assure you its quite possible I-”

“Shut up!”  

“I-”

“No listen to me.” she began again. Her head swiveled around so that her eyes lay fixed on me. “This is how this is going to go down. I know you just want to wring what information I have out of me and then you’ll kill me. I can’t stand that thought.”

“Death”

“Death at your hands!”

The spite was mounting in her voice.

“But…” she continued. “If you play along...I might let a few things slip…”

“Alright, what did you have in mind?”

“Hmmmm” Hair fell from her face as she looked to the ceiling. A few fingers tapped against the flank of her face as she pondered. Her eyes rolled up then back down again. They hung on me for a moment before she finally let her hand drop.

“Questions…”

“What kind of questions?”

“We’ll take turns. I ask one then you ask me. For every question you decide to skip, I get to skip as well.”

“Will you choose which questions to skip or-”

“I’ll start” she chirped. She shifted her weight around until finally she sat cross-legged in front of me. Although a few hundred feet separated us I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortably close to her. It would seem I’d be there awhile. I took a seat on the lip of the outer edge and leaned forward so that my elbows rested on my knees. Casual, that’s what I was going for. I needed her to think I was comfortable.

“Ok, hmmm, where to begin…”

“Try something simple.”

She shot me a nasty look. “Excuse me...I don’t need your help…”

“I-I am sure you don’t I was just trying to-”

“But I suppose you’re right.” She paused again. The stare wasn’t helping me at all. I felt like a mouse about to be preyed upon by a lioness.

“Alright, what’s your name?”

“Ellis. Yours?”

“This counts as your question.”

“I know, what is it?”

“What is ‘Subject Aleph’ not good enough for you?”

“Too impersonal.”

“So we’re being personal then?”

“I’d like to!”

Her nose scrunched up. I didn’t know why she was so reluctant.

“Vera”

“Interesting...”

She rolled her eyes and slumped back against the wall. “Ok ok, next question.” She pondered again for a short while, but her eyes never strayed from me. Again the knot in my stomach nearly caused me to gag.

“Why specifically did you want to come in here? Couldn’t you have just asked me the same way the others did?”

Hmm, that was pretty forward. Again I wondered if I should tell her the truth or if I should protect myself with another lie. So far she seemed to be pretty perceptive and I doubted I could get away with much of my usual trickery.

“Like I said, we’re being more personal. This is a good opportunity for the both of us. Besides, I can’t expect to learn about you through a computer screen. Right?”

She seemed satisfied with my answer. Another eerie smile crept across her face. She changed the position of her legs with a few twists of her body. Once more the ground shook and I, still shaking, struggled to grip onto the white tile beneath me.

“Fair enough, go ahead…”

“How often are they feeding you?”

“Ughhhh, Boring!” she muttered. Her hand brushed a few more locks of hair away whilst her eyes danced along the corners of the chamber. “Twice a day, if I’m lucky”

“That’s unfortunate. I’ll see what I can do about that…”

When I looked back up I caught her narrowed gaze once more. Like a looming tidal wave she inched forward. A stark look of skepticism sprawled out across her face.

“Ok then, why do you want to help me?”

God, she was making this difficult. I could feel the tension in my muscles growing with each word of our conversation. My tendons felt ready to snap. The strain in my ligaments told a painful story of internal terror. So far, it would seem, I had only succeeded in making her more suspicious of me.

“Some might say…” I paused again when our eyes met. “Some might say that this is strictly business. That I am...simply trying to bribe you, and although that is the essential goal I-I uhhh” My speech gave out as she leaned in closer. A towering face hanging over me like the mask of a god. Was it anger in her eyes? Fear? No, I couldn’t say.

“You are…?” The force of her breath smashed against my entire body. I’d never felt so helpless in my life.

“I’m just trying to,” Suddenly a nervous cough gripped ahold of me. The weakness was evident. The giantess glowered at me with an unwavering intensity. “Establish a good relationship. So that I can learn more...about you that is.”

No response. Trust, as my father would say, is not a bridge or friendly handshake as most would characterize it. No, trust is stairway, one that gets steeper and steeper as you climb higher. Its much easier to fall far once you betray someone who trusts you. I had no intention of betraying her but I could sense she felt the same way about trust as I did. She would not welcome this...relationship with open arms. I would have to fight for it. Show her that I was not like the others and that I truly had her best interest in mind. Looking back I wonder if I made the right decision.

“Your turn…” she finally whispered. I shook myself back into reality. Much of the contempt had left her voice, though I could sense the peace was temporary. My notes lay in pool of water. My head shook as I tried to think of another question. It was maddening how easily she threw off my train of thought.

“What’s uhh. No I mean…”

“What?”

“Sorry I lost focus…”

“I’m sure you did.” she hummed with yet another playful smile.

“How often do you sleep?”

“What was that?”

“Sleep, how is it here? Do you get enough, do they keep you awake?”

With lazy flop she let her head fall into her hand. An enormous sigh followed. “You’re really bad at this you know that?”

“You’ll have to teach me to do better”

“Oh, I will. But to answer you I’d say well enough. I can’t keep track of time but it gets pretty boring in here so yeah I sleep a lot. Not comfortably, but enough.”

I went to mark it down but another wave of warm air hit me. I looked up and saw her face stationed only twenty feet from where I sat. At first I saw only her teeth, but as my head shot up to catch her light blue irises a spasm started to take control of my breathing. I lunged backward, clawing toward the wall clumsily as my limbs scuttled along the slick floor. It wasn’t much use. I was a fly caught her web. There was really nothing stopping her from killing me then and there.

“So, little one. Tell me, are you afraid of me?”

I turned away. When I finally did glance at her face again I half expected her to have her usual sinister grin. I nervously looked on at the eyes I had thought would be filled with mischief. Instead, she looked serious. Dead serious. As I peered up the realization of her wicked game finally stuck in my brain. I had to answer her eventually.

“Yes. Though, I...uhh...uhh assume you noticed that by now” Finally it was out. I had been trying to expel words from my throat for what seemed like hours.

“True, it's just always nice to hear you little things say it.” She replied. Again the smile returned and again she retreated to her resting position against the far wall. “Now I’m curious, how do you expect us to become...what was it? Personal? Yes! How do you expect that if you’re so scared of me hmm?”

She had a point. I needed to prove that I was adaptable. That I wouldn’t be swayed by her little mind games forever. My mental faculties scratched through the recesses of my social tact for a new card to play. I’d have to show her I could keep my wits about me even when I was pressed up against the wall. Both figuratively and literally. Then, in a flash of willful light, I had it.

“Uhhh, wait! You asked two questions. You can’t do that. Its my turn.” I stated boldly with a false vigor. “And another thing, I want to make a new rule.”

“Rule? You?”

“Uhh yeah, no questions we already know the answer too.”

“Is this a retroactive rule?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact it is. I get a free pass on a question.”

Whilst she considered my proposal, beads of sweat rolled down the back of my neck. I hoped she wouldn’t notice.

“Fine, I’ll agree to that, but only if you answer my second question.”

I thought for a moment. How was I to put it into words? I had hardly formulated my plan a few moments ago and now I had to spell it out for her? I couldn’t pass on this question, not now. I’d loose my footing again and she knew it. Yet, just as I was about to croak out some ludicrously constructed answer she stopped me.

“Nevermind, I think you already answered that for me.”

Oh thank god. I sighed silently. The relief was immense. Now the ball was back in my court. I had to stray from my usual mining technique. I needed to play along the way she wanted me to. I’d gain more ground that way. This would require a great deal of judgment on my part. So I needed something new, something fresh. Something that I could push back with.

“Since we’re on the subject of fear…”

She perked up. For a moment I thought I could detect a minor spark in her pupils.

“Yes?”

“Are you afraid? I mean, being here and all?”

Now she seemed half compromised. Though subtle, I could see her shoulders scrunch up ever so slightly. My sense for psychological cues was especially attuned now.

In a low voice she started to speak. “I don’t scare quite so easily…”

“So no?”

“Is that a second question?”

“Well what’s your answer?”

A flash of anger was all I saw before she slumped back into her solemn angst-ridden posture. I may have hit a nerve. Yet, just when I thought she was going to slink back into silence her right foot shot out. It slammed against the wall above me. The shock of the impact was so loud and violent that I instinctively rolled down onto my stomach with my hands covering my head. I had performed that maneuver dozens of times over the last few years. Phantom dust and debris pelted my back. Chunks of collapsed building rained down alongside me. The memories came with it. Then I opened my eyes.

There was no debris. No heaps of cement pinning me to the ground . I looked back up and saw her foot pressed against the wall a good forty feet overhead. I looked back at her. All the while choking back a few lingering screams. She looked pleased with herself.

“Something wrong?”

She wanted to turn the tables on me again. I was terrified true, but I had enough sense to keep pushing. With some effort I rolled back into a sitting position. I paid no heed to her leg hanging above as I had a question that needed answering.

“You got me...I-I-I’ll admit that.” The words I managed to squeak out were quiet and fragile. I knew she couldn’t hear me, she just wanted to see me quiver.

“But, you haven’t answered me. Are you afraid?” I finally screamed. My voice swelled up in volume as the sentence dragged on. “I am, you know it...I know it. This is just a straight question. I want to know”

A frown. That was all I got at first. It wasn’t rage though, she seemed more or less annoyed. I suppose she expected me to shrink up into a ball like the others, but I was more hot blooded than that.

“I suppose I should be truthful...passing would only make me seem cowardly. But to answer you…” she stopped. I waited. Another of her fingers tapped against the wide floor. “Yes, everyone is at least a little afraid of the prospect of dying. But lets get one things straight. I’m not afraid of you, or any of your little friends hiding up there!” she cried up to the ceiling. I nodded and stood. The groundwater had thoroughly soaked my leggings. Her attention quickly snapped back to me. She leaned forward again, this time pushing her whole body closer. I instinctively stepped back a bit, wary of her massive form.

“So, if what you say is true. You being here to evaluate me or whatever it was you said. Tell me this. Do you think I’m worth saving?”

I blinked rapidly. Obviously I hadn’t made a conclusion yet. I would need more time with her, and I had hardly gotten any usable info so far.

“Pass”

“No passing”

“But I have…”

“I don’t care, answer me...now!”

“Pass”

She slammed her fist on the ground. Startled, I barely had time to stabilize myself on the plexiglass wall.

“No passing” she said a bit slower. Light brown hair swept down over her head. The ends, still laden with water, dripped with a steady stream that splashed down mere inches from me.

“Maybe…”

“Just maybe?” she replied. One of her eyebrows arched up, signaling a sincere curiosity.

“I haven’t decided yet.”

Again another awkward silence. She withdrew slightly, all the while lowering her head a bit so that her chin rested on the ground.

“I like you…”

That was odd...and fast! So odd and so fast that I didn’t know how to respond.

“Really?” was all I could muster.

“Yeah…”

“Ok” I bluntly replied. I got down on my knees and began to gather my things. All the while her sky blue eyes trained on my comparatively tiny shape. Her face was calm and I could feel the warmth of her breath seeping down.

“Don’t screw it up…”

Once I had all my things I rose back to my feet and stood firmly.

“You leaving?” she asked.

“I’m afraid so, I have...other business I must attend to. We can pick this game up next time…”

“When will that be?”

“I, I don’t know yet”

Steadily I inched toward the door. I never once considered turning my back on her, lest she decided snap my spine in two.

“Fine, but on one condition…”

I stopped. “What is that?”

“Well actually two conditions…First tell them to turn the damn water heater on.”

I nodded profusely.

“And second...I want a comb.”

“A what?”

“A comb”

“Like for hair?”

“Yes of course for hair!” she said with a groan.

Again I nodded. I gave a small, half-hearted wave and began a more steady approach to the door.

“Alright, I’ll see what I can do…Vera” I let her name hang on my tongue for longer than I felt comfortable. I don’t think she really heard me though anyway. Once I was finally down the narrow hall and back into the cool, air-conditioned atrium I could truly breath again.

The guards barely looked at me. On my way out of the facility people stopped as I passed them. Still no one said a word.

Treble gave me a knowing nod. He seemed pleased.

“Get some rest Ellis. You’ll need it in the days to come. I must say I’m rather impressed with how you carried yourself in there, although I hope your next few visits will be more fruitful…” The disappointed lilt in his voice was sharp.

“Don’t worry sir…” I hoarsely responded. “It’s all part of the job.”

That night I slept deeply and dreamt wild things. I saw a fog that stretched out over the entire world. I dreamt of blood, and storm clouds, and of my dead father. Somewhere in my mind I still heard my mother’s voice too. She sounded ashamed.

 

Monday burned through me in a flash of fire. The haze that walked in from somewhere back East left the camp distorted and dusty. I’d sit below the awnings near the infirmary and watch the foraging trucks roll back in from hills. Refugees usually followed them.

It was around this time I met Cinna. The old bastard hitched a ride on a supply truck carrying clean water from the outlying river. By then he had already developed quite a reputation for his dealings with the giants. If it weren’t for him, I likely wouldn’t even have a job. Up until his arrival nobody even considered trying to deal with our larger adversaries with such...discretion. Underhandedness was more like it.

Rumors always preceded him. A thin Hispanic woman told me that he had led an insurrection in Old New York in which he managed to poison three of them with extremely large doses of ketamine. Who’d a thought?

He was the closest thing the people had to a folk hero, and now he was coming to Camp Juliet. I can’t say I really approved of his methods, but I was in no position to criticize his work.

When he did finally arrive he wasn’t as I expected him at all. I had expected a younger man, standing a head taller than the rest of us. Muscled and scarred from a lifetime of fighting. Instead he was a small old man. His body was wracked by enfeeblement. His hair, thin and fading to white. In fact he looked much more like his namesake Roman than I would have imagined.

I distinctly remember his way of walking. His movements were overblown and confident, as though he was trying to overcompensate for the frailty of his limbs. He wanted to speak to me about my work. Apparently he was fascinated.

It was Tuesday, the day after my first conversation with Vera. I was in the mess hall sometime in the afternoon. Before me was a myriad of hastily scribbled notes, most of which I had dreamed up in the groggy hours of early morning. They were horrible.

I didn’t even see him approach. He made no introductions, indulged in no common pleasantries. Instead he tapped his walking stave against the metal table in a curious rhythm and jumped straight into conversation.

“Ellis, my dear Ellis. What deeds do you have planned?”

My head shot up. There he was, hunched over my workspace like a weathered Parisian gargoyle. I of course had no idea who he was or what he was talking about.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re Ellis no? The brave soul who speaks with giants?”

“I...I suppose. I mean- yes!”

“Cinna!” he chirped. With a sweep of his hand he gestured for permission to sit. I nodded and he took a seat on the bench opposite of me.

“So you’re the famous Cinna then?” I asked. Unfortunately his sudden intrusion left me socially and mentally unprepared.

“I suppose I am him!” he replied in a musical voice.

“Well what can I do for you sir?”

“Sir, sir, who’s a sir around here? Not I! Haha!”

That’s how he liked to talk. Like some kind of excitable leperchaun. I immediately wondered if he had gone senile and if he was even aware of his own reputation.

“Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about your work.”

“My work? The personality profiling?”

“No no I mean her, the first captive!”

“First?”

“Well of course. Sure there are others now but she was the first! Did you not know?”

“No, I...I guess I didn’t really think that was important…”

“Oh but it is!” Cinna got to his feet and shuffled around the edge of the table. He plopped down next to me and threw one of his bony arms around my shoulders.

“Do you know how difficult it is to manipulate them? To get them to go where you want?”

Sure, I had thought about it. In my line of work I had been consulted several times on the matter. Yet, I never really came up with a solution. I had always assumed that they kept her sedated and built the facility around her, but that didn’t make much sense.

“No, enlighten me…” I said. Cinna could clearly hear the curiosity in my speech. An impish fire burned in his eyes as he began to explain.

“Its really quite simple. There like cattle. You have to drive them in the direction you want. Quite a challenge though. Most are quite aggressive as you can imagine. People die! That’s why they need incentive. You need to make them scared for their life! And how do you do that?”

I stared back at him solemnly. “Uhhh, I guess you could-”

“Wrong!”

What a strange man.

“Here’s what you do…” he began after clearing  his throat. “First, you have to drug him. That can be the most dangerous part. Pumping their veins full of opiates or filling their lungs with that AC Blue stuff”

Already it was a sickening story. AC Blue was a noxious compound created fifteen years ago that essentially caused an overload of the senses. It originally was used industrially for some manufacturing thing but it was banned when they discovered the health risks. So there were just tanks of the shit lying around everywhere. However, since the arrival of the giants they had found a new purpose for it.

“I heard they built a special mask for her. Hit her with the drugs then clapped it on her face. Woo! I wish I could’ve seen it, must of been something. They gave me the videos do you want to see?”
I most certainly did not. The effects of the gas were supposedly horrifying. Supposedly it was an agonizing experience. Your heart raced, light became intense, sounds were terrifyingly loud, and so on. Many likened the experience to a torturous death, though the gas itself was rarely deadly after one dose. Prolonged exposure would kill you sure, but most giants didn’t know. As far as Vera knew, the stuff would have stopped her heart then and there.

“So they kept in on her until what? The place was finished being built? How long would that take?”

“Can’t say for sure, it was mostly done when they forced her in. As soon as they locked her up they took the thing off and she was pissed. Time has calmed her down though. Whew, imagine if you went in on the first night haha...they’d still be trying to scrape you off the walls!”

Although he was certainly a strange, grotesque fellow I couldn’t help but feel somewhat at ease with him around. He certainly enjoyed his work, perhaps a bit too much, but he didn’t seem inherently cruel. I wasn’t, however, in the mood to talk at the moment. I had far more troubling things on my mind and his gruesome tales of capture and torment were a bit much for me.

“Alright then. I’m assuming you didn’t come here to talk to me about Ver- sorry, Subject Aleph’s capture, am I right?”

He grinned. “Quite right son. I’m not staying here long. They’ve been having trouble with another particularly vicious female some miles West near Camp Echo and I’d promised to drop by. But then, over the radio I hear about some young hotshot fraternizing with one of the titanic bitches!”

One of his hands stroked the grey beard hanging from his chin. I inched away slowly from his uncomfortable embrace.

“Anyway I of course have to see this for myself. I mean, this is big news! Could be a whole new era in giant bush-whacking. Change the tide of the war. Information, not might, wins wars kiddo. So I sneak on board one of the Juliet transports and here I am! Now...your Constable here...uhh Tresser, Trumpeter, uhh”

“Treble?”

“Yeah that guy. He tells me he’d be delighted for my input on the matter but I of course am here to see you. He says something about a three day time limit and I...well as I mentioned before...got my own schedule I need to be keepin’ to. So I says to him ‘where can I find this brilliant young man’ he points me here and now here we are, two minds obsessed with the inner workings of monsters!”

Finally I brushed his hand off my shoulder. Not once has his smile faltered. He was nuts. Although he seemed to emanate a sort of reassuring aura I hadn’t quite decided if I liked him. He was certainly a nice change of pace from the usual hum-drum severity of the other people on base.

“So what exactly do you want?” I finally asked.

“Ah, well isn’t it obvious? Information! A real hands-on look at these proceedings, my own front row seat. Also...recordings”

“Recordings?”

“Yes, like I said I’m only in camp for a day or so then I’m off to Echo. So you think you can get me a few copies of your little errr sessions or whatever you call it?”

My foot tapped on the asphalt. It didn’t seem right. Did I not have an obligation to myself, to Vera, and to my profession? Confidentiality seemed trivial given the times but the personal dynamic filled me with doubt. For now it seemed best to deflect such a decision back onto my superiors. After all, they were the ones in control of such things.

“Talk to Treble” was all I could say.

Cinna clapped his hands together and rocked back onto his feet.

“So, when do you see her next?”

An exhausted sigh escaped my lips and I likewise stood. A few swipes of my hands and my papers were gathered back up into a neat stack. After slipping them into my bag I turned back to face the eager old man.

“Right about now…”

Twenty minutes later I stood back in the lonely atrium. The same two guards waited there for me. A horrible case of Deja Vu seized me. The loud clanking of gears and locking mechanisms brought me back, at least for a moment. Then I started to replay the last few days in my head. I fixated on very specific things too. It was strange. I remembered the shape of a scar on Vera’s heel that I didn’t even recall noticing in the first place. I remembered the shape of her mouth when she scowled at me. I remembered the badges along Treble’s uniform and the horrible pale color of Grim’s boots. Then I remembered Cinna’s words on our way over to the containment facility.

“This is exciting. Quite a great leap for our kind. You’ll be written about years later. Trust me!”

It seemed all too surreal. I still didn’t feel that important. My work seemed trivial to me and, in many ways, greatly futile. The only good thing about being so distracted was that I didn’t want to puke all over the floor quite as badly as before. Finally, the familiar puff of warm air sliced into me again.

The guards stood at the far end of the room with nervous expressions. Ahead was a new series of exchanges that would haunt me for days. I hated the thought of filling my brain with more dialogue to dissect. Ah, well. It was my job.

Stepping through the door and down the hall was a fraction of the ordeal it had been yesterday. Yet, as I stepped out into the immense inner chamber, blood rushed to my head. It was as if I was seeing it all again for the first time.

The sheer face of the tinted walls seemed even higher. The wide expanse of the lower deck seemed even grander, and, of course, my subject seemed somehow even larger. She lay on her back with her knees jutting up into the air. The splash of hair spread out around her head like a river delta. Just as before I thought she didn’t notice me enter.

The pure white floor almost blended seamlessly with her sleeveless white shirt. I had not considered her dress before. It was quite simple. The tight fit and drab contrast between the white top and dark grey shorts suggested these were of human make. Most of the giants dressed themselves in earthen colors that, with some exceptions, were typically loosely fitted to their bodies. I don’t mean to say they were baggy but they appeared more...comfortable. What she was wearing seemed hastily made and, to be perfectly honest, quite uncomfortable. I’d have to ask her about that.

“Is it you my little friend?” she asked without moving to look at me.

At first, I remained silent. I took my seat at the outer ledge’s lip and waited. Finally, after another thirty seconds of silence she let her head roll onto its side. Our eyes locked and, just as expected, her playful smile returned.

“I’ve been thinking an awful lot about your last visit…”

“Really?” I quickly responded. I tried to keep a professional timbre in my voice, though I had a feeling she would shake it out of me fairly soon.

“Yes, of course...you’re the most interesting thing to happen to me since I got here. Well, except for maybe the ceiling fire, but that’s another story.”

“Ceiling fire?”

“Yeah, I thought at first they were going to try and burn me alive but then they started screaming over their little intercom. Little people like you came running in trying to fix it. Horrible affair really.” Her words were faint but sly. With a slight twist of her torso she rolled over onto her stomach. Propping her head up with her left hand she regarded me with another hungry glance.

“I bet they never mentioned it to you did they?”

They hadn’t, but then again there wasn’t much information I could squeeze out of the brass. I immediately thought she was trying to play me against my superiors. Even though she was in metaphorical chains it wouldn’t stop her from trying to sew seeds of discord. I decided it was best to change the subject.

“So tell me did they fix the water? I put in the request. They weren’t terribly happy, using those kinds of resources and all, but I assured them it was-”

“I don’t know.” she interrupted.

The sudden cut off left me searching for more words and the flicker of renewed interest in her gaze told me she wasn’t going to give me a second to breath.

“So…”

I shuffled my position a bit. No amount of dewy eyes or wicked smiles would deter me this time. I promised myself that much.

“Ellis right? Shall we pick up where we last left off?”

At least she wasn’t beating around the bush this time. I smoothed out the wrinkles in my trousers and sat up straight. It was important that I maintain my composure this time. She needed to understand that even if I was scared, I was not about to run away.

“Let’s, if I recall correctly it is my turn…”

“Ughhh” she groaned. “Come closer little one…”

“W-w-what?” I managed to sputter out. She rolled her eyes at me.

“Its so hard to hear you in this room. You’re too tiny...why don’t you come here?”

With two fingers she beckoned me toward her. Damn. This I had not anticipated. The lashes below her sweeps of brown hair fluttered. Her pale lips pressed tightly together as she motioned me forward. Again I shuffled uneasily.

“I’m afraid that’s out of the question.”

“What?”

“I said…that’s out of the question.” I repeated a bit louder. A cheap smirk was her immediate response.

“See? This big room, your puny little voice...not working. Come here”

“NO!” I screamed even louder. It was at that point I realized I had already lost for today. Betraying my fear so immediately would not help my standing and there wasn’t much I could defend myself with. She seized the opportunity to assert herself even further.

“No? Pity, and here I thought we were going to be friends...Don’t friends trust each other Ellis?”

She had a point. This was her first test for me and I was already failing. What should I do? Could I counter? Things were moving fast I had only hoped to talk. I mean the gesture itself seemed pointless. There was nothing really separating us. She could easily reach out right now and crush me beneath her thumb. No, only my stubborn sense of security kept me from getting closer to her. I’m not crazy though! Anyone else would’ve responded the same way. She knew that, she just wanted to feel superior. That was something all of her kind enjoyed. Its what they thrived on, what they lived for.

“Quiet? Oh so, quiet. Or is it simply I still cannot hear you? Either way this problem needs fixing…”

She let her hand drop to the ground. With an angled twist she pushed herself in a semicircle. After a few seconds her knees were pressed in the vertex between the far wall and floor whilst she kicked her feet casually in the air. Still on her stomach, she leaned down so that her head sat suspended in front of me around fifty feet overhead. The long locks of her hair cascaded out around her like the walls of an enormous tent. It was just the two of us. I had to play along. She hadn’t given me much of a choice.

“That’s better...so Ellis, you have a question for me?”

Oh god what was it? I blanked. My notes were nonsense. They were always nonsense, but now I couldn’t even read them.

“Yes...let me think for a moment.”

“Take your time…” she whispered with her coy simper.

I waited for a long time. All the while I did not lift my head. Instead my attention lie downward, where I fixated on one of her enormous hands in front of me. It was...unreal. When I finally did look up I saw that her smirk had disappeared. Now she looked genuinely interested in what I had to say.

“Do you know why you are here?” It was a pretty dull question to start with, but it was all I could think of at the moment

First, she frowned. Then she sighed. After that she brought the same hand I had been staring at up under her chin.

“Hmph, I’m disappointed…”

“Why’s that?”

“You’re starting to sound a lot like those other guys. I thought you were gonna be different…”

“I’m sorry, I’m really just curious. You can pass if you-”

“No, I won’t pass.” she quickly retorted. “I’ve always assumed its just because of who I am. I mean different...not one of you. I can understand that much. I’ve never once doubted your motives.”

“Their motives…” I tried to correct her. She shot me a puzzled glance and then looked away again.

“So then little one…”

I remained silent. My knuckles turned white as I gripped the ledge in anticipation.

“Why am I really here?”

“You’re not far off with your own assumptions”

“Thought as much, but...they still haven’t told you everything about me have they?”

“What do you mean?”

“Come on...I can tell, you’re not from around here. You’re not like the others. I can hear it in your naive little voice. I can see it in your shaky little limbs.”

“What?”

“Hmmm, nevermind”

“Well what do you expect, with the invasion and all I-”

Suddenly she started to laugh. In all it was a rather frightening. Tremors shook the ledge that I sat upon. Her body rocked for a second as her muscles tensed with each snicker. Then, just as she started to calm down she looked down at me. Whilst trying to stifle another chuckle she spoke.

“You little things...you. You just haven’t figured it out yet have you?”

I was taken aback. Clearly I had missed something. Something really important.

“I’m sorry what...what exactly is so funny?” I nervously asked.

“Invasion? You think this is an invasion? All of this, over the years? You think this has been a war?”

“I-I don’t understand”

Again, while holding back her laughter she responded. “Ok, ok so I guess you could call it an invasion in a broader sense but...you...you actually think this organized? You think this is some kind of planned attack?”

“Well I...I don’t know its just-”

“Well I’ll tell you this much, and, to be perfectly honest, I’m a little shocked you guys haven’t figured it out by now. I mean, you seem smart, you study people’s minds or something right?”

“I guess. I mean...yeah”

“Well tell me this…” she continued. Her face drifted  a bit closer. Strong gusts of warm air enveloped me and I began to withdraw slightly.

“Do we really seem like we have a plan?”

“Well...no. But-”

“And what would you say characterizes an invasion?”

“I guess, an army that comes and-”

“Yes! There, do we honestly seem like an army to you?”

“I’d say not…”

I had noticed this before. None of them acted on any system. That’s what made them so damn hard to fight against. It was as if each had their own agenda. But with so many we had assumed that it was...well something.

“So…” I eventually managed to stammer out. “You’re saying that all of your kind is just...what? Wandering around doing whatever they hell they want?”

The smirk on her face returned but then slowly began to fade. “Hmph, pretty much…”

“But...why all the...aggression?”

“This counts as your question…”

“Yeah ok, fine...just answer it!”

“Shhh, don’t be so pushy. It doesn’t suit you really. You’re more the quiet quirky type, I can tell.”

A nervous jitteriness spread out into my legs. No longer could I sit still. Vera noticed this immediately.

“Alright, calm down. I’ll be honest…” Oddly enough, she started to retreat a bit, both physically and mentally. Something about this did not seem to sit right with her.

“Everyone has their reasons for it. Its mostly though...control.”

“Over our world?”

“What? No? Well...yes and no. It depends!”

“I’m confused…”

“Well, I answered so there!”

“But-”

“Alright my turn!” She was careful to intercept my question. As she weighed the options in her head I noticed a bright red light, hundreds of feet off the ground, had started to flash. Not more than a couple seconds later a rattling bell echoed out through the chasmic chamber. It pounded in my ear drums, forcing me to clap my hands over my head. The ground beneath me shook. I opened one of my eyes and Vera had changed her position. Now she sat, crosslegged, facing the far left wall.

Several streams of water shot from inconspicuously placed beneath the flashing light. They arced out directly of Vera’s position. To her, they were meager streams of liquid but in reality it was like a ten firehoses raining water down in a vicious spray. I slid back slightly. The waterfall drenched the top of her head and webbed down the edges of her neck.

She turned her head to me and, for the first time, smiled warmly.

“This...is much better.”

 

Stillness. No light flooded into my eyes. I only heard the roar of water crashing down. Hot steam dissipated throughout the chamber, until everything was shrouded in its pale obscurity. It reminded me of last summer when the water main in the remains of some forgotten town exploded. For hours it rained down its filthy contents over the motorcade as we waited for nightfall. That was back when we were much more careful about when we moved from place to place. But now, when I opened my eyes and looked down I saw the water ran clear. I had somehow forgotten the serenity of the chamber in the tempest of my memories. I looked up at Vera who remained seated before the spout.

She was now thoroughly soaked. With her left hand, she ran her fingers through her locks of mildly disheveled hair. The moisture had made it a dark brown. I continued to watch her for a while, although something about it made me feel feverish. It seemed, wrong? Intrusive was more like it. I gathered my things and decided to returned later when she wasn’t preoccupied with her hygiene.

“Alright, well I can see that this is a bad time for you, I’ll just be-”

“No!” her voice echoed out over the water. There was more authority than before.  My feet shuffled toward the door. “No you stay, we’re not done yet…”

I couldn’t help but oblige. I got down to my knees and sat in place. She continued to smooth out her hair for another few minutes. We exchanged no words during that time. I made sure to keep my head down. Every once and a while though I could sense her stealing glances at me. Finally, she flopped to the floor on her back. The force of the impact scared the shit out of me. I dropped my stuff and shot to my feet.

She had her head cocked toward me with a calm expression on her face. The water continued to rain down onto her stomach, where it simply rolled off in tremendous streams.

“I thought of a question…”

“Oh...really?”

Again she laughed.

“Come, sit, relax...you seem so...tense” she cooed. I could tell she was trying to make me nervous. She had gotten it into her head that I was here for her benefit, but so far I had nothing to make a case for her life. Sure, she didn’t seem aggressive in here, but what was she like outside the facility? Did she have a quick temper? Did she attack human settlements? I needed to know more. Treble would be no help, nor would any of his lackeys. I needed to provoke her. It was risky. She could suddenly decide I’m not worth it. Cinna’s remark from earlier came to mind. Images of my viscera scattered over the basin were all I could see.

“Anyway, I wanted to know if I’m your first…”

“First? First what?”

“Dammit, come here!” she cried out. The annoyed tone was evident. She reached out her left hand and held it level at the outer rim’s ledge. What did she expect from me? To just step on? That was not gonna happen. Even if she didn’t mean to hurt me the chances that I would escape unscathed were pretty slim. I had seen a male pick up a truck once just to look at it, only to completely rip the thing in two. They were just too large. I had a feeling she didn’t quite understand how powerful she was. So I shook my head. She frowned and motioned for me with one of her fingers.

“Come, I don’t want to move and I still can’t hear you all the way over there.”

“I...just don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

“Come on, I’ll not ask again!”

“You’re not afraid of getting gassed? You know the rule…”

She turned her head back to the ceiling and began to shout to no one in particular. “Look I’m not hurting him, don’t kill me I promise he’ll be safe so just remain calm!” When she was done she turned back to me. “There? That’s about all I can do, now climb on!”

“Its just that…”

“Uggggh!” Her eyes rolled. “Listen, are you worried about being hurt? Trust me, i’ve handled you little things before, I will not crush you or drop you or anything like that understood?”

I nodded in reply.

“Good, now come on. You have to trust me!”

Everything in my head told me not to do it. This was a terrible idea. An awful idea. This should mean certain death. It was a hand not unlike this one that brought that building down on my father. It was hand like this that nearly threw the truck I was in back during the flight from St. Louis.

Yet, now I was at the threshold of progress. Never had I been so indecisive. With some effort, I took a few steps toward her.

Her eyes grew wider with anticipation. I, however, could not tear my gaze from the colossal fingers in front of me. There it was, just five feet from me now. Each step I took was a heavy footfall closer to what felt like certain doom. Yet, still something indescribable, something surreal, something beyond my own comprehension compelled me onward. Then there was flesh underfoot. The soft tips of her fingers which had only slightly begun to prune from the downpour. I walked uneasily over the, the slender stretch of each finger, each acting as a separate pathway onto the much large plane of her palm.

The actual walk itself occurred quickly. She kept me betwixt her eyes as I continued. Then out of nowhere my knees gave out. I collapsed onto my hands just as I reached the upper half of her palm. It was enough for her though.

There was a tug at my entrails. The air around me blurred for a moment and my head spun. When I finally managed to roll onto my back I saw that she had brought me closer. Now, her torso rested against the right wall. She held me out about level with her shoulders. Thus I stared up into the dark reaches of her pupils. Though I wasn’t watching, I could feel her satisfied smirk reappear.

“Like I was saying...Am I your first?”

“First...subject?”

“More or less, have you done this before with someone else of my...stature?”

“No, you’re the first...anywhere.”

Vera didn’t seem pleased by this. She pouted. Her mouth twisted into an quivering grimace. I couldn’t tell if she was angry or just ashamed.

“Ohh…” was all she said. Now that I was closer her voice struck me with such intensity that I could feel it vibrate in my bones.

It was to me again. Where should I go next. I needed to pry something out of her. Something worthwhile. Something that wouldn’t leave a sneer on the Constable’s face.

“Vera…”

“Yes?”

“How many people have you killed?”

I immediately regretted my question. There was a burst of rage in her eyes that quickly passed down her neck into her chest and then out through her arms. Beneath me her hand shook slightly. All of a sudden I could see the shadow of her looming fingers passing over my own. In an instant I spun around. Each of her towering digits had started to close in. This was it. I was certain my death was at hand. No pun intended.

My head felt light and my legs felt like lead. I collapsed. I didn’t know what to do, I was done for. Hopeless. I couldn’t even scream. The horrible reality of it all was that I was going to bear witness to it all. Every grim detail. Already I felt my ribs crack, my spine shatter, and my innards burst.

“Enough…” That was all she said, and indeed it was enough of an answer for me.

Then, her fingers stopped. It was about this time I realized I hadn’t been breathing. Gasping for breath I flattened myself out on her hand. With my neck bending backward I peered (down?) at her looming face. It wasn’t as angry as before. Her lips then began to move.

“Do you think I’d kill you?”

Something in my gut told me she most definitely would. Some might say she already had. I couldn’t question her attitude, but I had my doubts about her intentions. There was something significant hidden behind those blue eyes. Something crawling around in her brain that I hadn’t quite nailed down yet. She suspected my ineptitude and she was right to do so. But now, here I sat, at the mercy of a being who, according to all physical evidence, was and may always be, a killer of men. Yet, somehow, there came about an unexplainable miracle where she chose not to end my life for my impudence. Now, I waited, still in hand, to deliver a verdict on whether or not my life was actually in jeopardy.

“No…”

Whether it was her own sense of self-preservation, or perhaps the nagging loneliness that made my words true is still a mystery to me now.

The intercom cut in. Still, I couldn’t make out a word they said. Vera seemed to understand though. Her hand flattened out completely, and I, still struggling for air, sat plainly upon it.

Anger returned as she directed her attention back to the ceiling.

“I said he’s fine! Look for yourselves” she bellowed as she pointed to me with her other hand. God, what was to become of my work now.

There was no response over the speaker. Vera scowled. She shifted herself up against the wall a bit further, bringing me up as she went. Now she sat flat on the ground once more. I, in the meantime, had just finished setting myself back into a regular breathing rhythm.

“Why not?” she finally asked. I shook my head. In a flawed attempt to mask the panic in my voice I replied with with a half-hearted squeak.

“Its...my turn”

She snickered. In all, the flash of emotion that had taken a hold of her seemed to have vanished completely. With a compliant nod she urged me to continue.

“Go on…”

“Ok… uhhh let’s see”

“Did I scare you too much?” she asked with a wink.

“No I just...well”

“Come on...don’t hurt yourself. They’ll blame me for it.”

“Alright, just give me a second to catch my breath…”

“Hmph, I’ve got time…”

I needed to ask something a little less inciting. Although, I was beginning to wonder if her sudden surge of anger was just her toying with me again. She liked to do that. I had a pretty good feeling this would not be the last time either.

But, that’s another matter. Focus, I needed to focus. Perhaps there was something more general I could ask. Something more innocent, or perhaps something less personal.

“I actually have been wondering something…” I eventually began. “What exactly do you call yourselves?” She stared at me with a strange, confused look on her face. “I mean, do you think of yourselves as...well human?”

For a while she just stared.

“What is it?” I said, mostly just to break the silence.

“Well, what do you mean?”

“I mean, I call myself a human. All the “little people” identify as human. Do you go by just...what giants? Titans? Colossi? Are you humans too? I mean...you must be!”

“We…” she stopped and looked away. It was as if she had never considered it before. Something about it was greatly foreign to her. “...we don’t call ourselves anything.”

“But then what are you?”

“I’m...I’m just Vera” she said. Of all my questions thus far this was the first that seemed to actually pierce her shell of immodesty.

“I don’t understand…”

Those two gigantic eyes wheeled back onto me. There was some invisible, paralyzing force in them. It was enough to tell me that I had made some progress.

“Its not really for you to understand.”

“I see, well, do you want to talk about it?”

“No…” The force of her voice and breathe in that one little word was enough to send me sprawling on my back. It was a powerful no, not angry, but powerful.

It was about this time the water cut off. Likewise, it was also about this time that I noticed I was soaking wet. With a few twists of my hands I wrung out the lower half of my shirt. Vera’s knees began to sway back and forth. Looking up at her, I noticed she was deep in thought. No doubt searching for the right question as I had been not a few minutes before.

“Do you really think you can win?”

I had to give it to her. She was conjuring up some difficult questions. Naturally any human still with a little hope in their hearts would say yes. I’d liked to think I was one of them, but speaking with her was beginning to change all that. Now, you’re probably thinking that it was because I thought she was a sociopath. A murderer. Someone who didn’t mind snuffing out a few hundred lives here or there. But, I can honestly say that was not the reason at all. I had spoken with psychopaths. I have seen disregard for human life before and I tell you she was not like them. She had feelings. She had emotions and she did care, about….well something, perhaps someone. That was what scared me the most. She wasn’t crazy. That led me to believe that most of them probably weren’t. It was something else, something far more sinister. She knew and recognized the pain of humankind. She simply thought herself too far above that. They all did. I suppose I came to this realization after my first visit, that night when I dreamt of a dead planet. They WERE all too human about it. One after the next. In many ways I thought that spelled doom for us all. But it also gave me a new hope. One that I knew would be difficult to realize.

“Hello? You still there?”

Damn. How long had I been sitting there? I suppose I needed to come up with an answer. I had my own questions I wanted to get to after all.

“I suppose it's possible.”

“But what do YOU think?” she quickly countered.

“Now? Well, yes...yes I think we can.”

“Good”

“Good?”

She smiled. “Yes...good. Go ahead, it’s your turn”

“Ok, now, I want an honest answer here. No passing alright?”

“We’ll see…”

I tried to stand. Both of my arms swept back behind me and pushed me off the surface of her palm. It took me a second, but I managed to place my feet in just the right positions.

“Ok, were you, Vera, or any other of your kind ever small, humans I mean? Were you like us?”

The same concerned look fell over her. Her left arm reached up and grabbed her right shoulder. Thousands of beads of water rolled down her skin, forming tiny rivers that warped around a few freckles and bruises. I hadn’t noticed them before. Although I was no expert on injuries I could tell they were fresh. The question was...what caused them? Given her current psych profile it was unlikely they were self inflicted. Likewise they were too small. Nothing she could’ve done without the aid of some tool or enormous needle of sorts.

“Like you? We were never like you. We’re more different than you think. That’s all I have to say…”

God, that only left me with more questions. Looks like I had to wait. My ankles strained as I tried to keep my balance on her hand. Perhaps it was best I just took a seat. I plopped back down onto her palm and adjusted my legs.

“Its warm in here…”

I looked blankly at her. Well, she wasn't’ wrong.

“Isn’t it always?”

“Not at night”

“Ah, I figured as much. I can see what…”

“It won’t matter…” Vera groaned. I didn’t know how to respond. Giving her too much luxury was something we could not afford. She was a prisoner after all, and a costly one that.

“Ellis?”

“Yes,”

“How long are you here?”

“Today? Well it could be-”

“No, here! In this...whatever you call it. Camp? Base?”

“Ahh, well, I guess that depends how long you’re here…”

That didn’t seem right to say. Vera knew she was on death row, but it still felt wrong to bring it up. Unlike her, I wasn’t a fan of playing with emotions.

“I wonder how long that will be…”

She was careful to not phrase it as a question. Good for her. I wanted to answer but I didn’t know. I had a horrible feeling that no matter my testimony they would execute her. I guess I’d have to wait and see.

“Well I’ve got another few questions for you.”

“Go on.”

“If you were to get out, what would you do?”

“Do you mean if I was released or if I escaped?”

“Let’s say both…”

She flew into her answer right away. Clearly she had been thinking about this for some time.

“If I were to be released...I’d go somewhere far away. Probably. Somewhere away from you little things and the others…”

“So, you wouldn’t return to your own people?”

“Trust me there’s not much to return to”

The mystery grew deeper. What the hell was going on? I couldn’t tell! I needed more answers and from the looks of the light outside, my time was almost up.

“If I were to escape, well...perhaps that question is better left unanswered.” She gave me a casual smile. Somehow it was much more terrifying than her usual sinister smirk.

“Ahh, ok well then…”

“Oh don’t be so nervous. Really, you’re much more fun when you’re trying to act brave…”

My throat went dry. I tried to swallow but something prevented me. She would be the death of me yet. Whether physically or emotionally.

“Ahh, who am I kidding, you’re always fun!” she cheered.

Well, at least it seemed unlikely that she would be disposing of me in the near future.

“Actually, I have another question...just something I’ve been thinking about.”

“Yes?” I replied sheepishly.

“So, are you some high-ranking official type? Is that how you got in here and how you got me warm water?”

“No I’m….no one really.”

“Reaaally?” she mused. At first I thought she was surprised. Then, I thought she was being sarcastic in an attempt to further belittle me. But then, finally it occured to me that she didn’t really have a concept of a hierarchy. If you saw me as I was then, you wouldn’t have even thought I was educated. My clothes were far too baggy. My hair, dirty and unkept. The weariness in my extremities and the bags under my eyes would’ve suggested that I worked the nightshift down at the gardens. To me, it seemed painfully obvious that I was by no means a ranked officer. She had just...well assumed.

“But they’ll listen to you?”

“Sometimes, it depends…” I went on. “I can only get away with so much.”

She chuckled softly under her breath.

“Now what’s so funny?”

“Nothing its just...that’s exactly what they told me when I first got here.”

“I suppose that is a bit ironic.”

“Don’t you find it odd?”

“I mean, I guess...but I’m use to be told stuff like that.”

“Let me ask you this…”

“But it's my turn!”

“I don’t care, rules should be broken. Besides I grow tired of this game.”

A few tendrils of her wet hair felt down and stuck to her cheek. She brushed them aside and for once, I could see her whole face from top to bottom, side to side, no curtain of hair masking any corner.

“Fine, what is it?”

“Well, you’re pretty thin...how often are they feeding you?” she said. She bounced her hand up once, causing me to fly up into the air briefly. Although I only was suspended a couple feet, the landing was hard enough to knock the wind out of me.

“I uhhhaa” I tried to say between gasps.

“Sorry”

Finally I regained my breath. Peering up again I managed to wheeze out a reply.

“Is..that...concern I hear?”

“Oh don’t be an ass. Answer the question. As I said before I like you, that means I’m entitled to pity you a little…”

“Alright, uhh well. I’d guess usually twice a day…”

“Like me?”

“Well food’s tight and…”

“Ok, just curious”

There she went again cutting me off. It was starting to get on my nerves. But, there wasn’t much I could do about it.

“What?” I enquired.

“Nothing, it's just...nothing”

It was about this time that I noticed the sun had already begun to disappear behind the distant hills. The distorted light seeping in through the chamber played along both our bodies just the same. Big and small, the light curved around us. Vera caught me staring out at the fading rays.

“You have to go?”

“I’m afraid so…”

She frowned. I wanted to say more...to ask more! Yet, even though the questions now danced in my skull I knew it was time to return. She knew it too. Immediately she brought her hand back down next to the outer platform. The journey was quick and made me feel like I had died and the sprung back to life drunk on the liquors of hell.

It took some doing, but I managed to stumble off her palm back onto solid ground. When my sight was clear again I looked up at her. Her gaze was set forward and her hands went about collecting her soaked hair. After wringing it out she let it lay over one shoulder. She didn’t look particularly solemn...just bored.

I walked out. Once I was back in the old atrium I found Cinna waiting for me. As soon as our eyes met he pounced.

“My boy! That was incredible. I’ve never seen anything like. I must say I got pretty scared in there for ya. Just as the others, oh god we were all sweatin’ bullets. Except for that Grime character.”

“Grim, I think you mean…”

“What? Ah yes, it doesn’t matter. Listen, saying that I’m impressed would be an understatement. I need to know more. Like you! The others assured me that I could have a look at those tapes when I get back. But, I just had a grand idea, if you’ll oblige me for a moment.”

How could he be so chipper? Now it was just off-putting but I guess that after what I had just been through I wasn’t in any position to be interacting with so jovial a character. We began walking back up the rickety steps to the main facility floor.

“Go ahead”

“Well, I ship out early tomorrow morning, but I was thinking...What if we had an early session tomorrow, you and me both, in there with...what was it, Vana, Vessie?”

“Vera”

“Right, you and me, together! It would be great, quite the experience for well...all of three of us!”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea…”

“What? Don’t be absurd, it couldn’t be better!”

I wasn’t sure what I should tell him. He wouldn’t take ‘no’ so lightly. Honestly, I had my reasons.

Professionally it wouldn’t be right. Morally it seemed a bit odd. Personally, well, I just didn’t feel like...sharing her...if that makes any sense. This was my only notable accomplishment and as sick as it sounds I wasn’t about to share it with some guerilla lunatic from up North. No, this was something I had to do alone. Besides, I had a feeling Vera and Cinna’s personalities might clash.

“For safety’s sake, and for my researches’ sake it would really be best if you didn’t.”

Cinna stared at me with a pale, blank look in his eyes. It was like I had just stabbed him in the gut.

“Its just that…” I searched desperately for words. Damn it, Vera had made it difficult to talk even with humans. “Its just that I can’t have her be too stimulated. Besides, what do you think she would do to us if she found out the great giant-slayer Cinna was in there with her?”

Cinna’s meager stare lingered for a few seconds. Then, a crooked, toothy grin spread out over his face. He slapped me on the back.

“Good point my boy, well I’m still interested in hearing the results. Hopefully I can make it back here before you gas her! Anyway I’m off, talk to you later kiddo!”

And like that, he was gone. Passed down some shady hallway to my right. It was like he was a phantom. He was not good, or evil, he simply was a force. One that could topple six-hundred foot beings when it pleased him, and here I was, the mere mortal who changed the course of his curious wrath.

 

 

As I emerged onto the main floor a line of militia was waiting for me. Here we go.

Grim stood at the end of the line as tenacious and angry as ever. I could tell a reprimanding was on the horizon. At first, I thought he wanted me to shamefully walk up to him with my head bowed and my tail hidden between my legs. I decided I would not give him the satisfaction. Instead I held my place at the end of the row. Grim tapped his foot vigorously. He soon realized what exactly I was doing.

With the fury of a raging tornado he was soon upon me. A thick, sinewy hand grabbed my collar and began dragging me down the hall. My legs still felt like gelatin so I was in no position to resist. Eventually he pulled me into the monitoring room and shoved me against the fragile drywall. Behind me I heard a crack as my shoulder blade dug into its dusty plaster surface.

“What in the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Grim roared over the drone of the computer monitors. The same bald, spectacled man from before appeared in the doorway behind him.

“Constable Grim, what is the meaning of this?”

“Shut the hell up Mica! I’m fixing our problem!”

I raised my hands to surrender. Grim’s bloodthirsty face turned back to me. There was murder in his eyes, I could tell.

“I’ll not have some lanky little fuck like him wasting our time, our resources, and our lives so that he can play therapist with one of those...things!”

Of course I didn’t know how to respond. For once, his rage was justified. I hadn’t delivered them any seriously useful information, all I had managed to do thus far was waste more of the already meager energy in the camp.

“Listen here you worthless little shit!” The ferocity of his screams shook the monitors on the wall. “You can either get us something we can use or you can get the hell out of this camp. We have no need for your kind here!”

“Constable Grim!” Mica interjected once more. He sidled up beside him and placed a knobbish hand on his shoulder.

All the while I was worried about protocol. Honestly, I don’t think I realized the danger I was in until later that night when I lay sleepless in my cot.

“W-w-where’s Constable Treble?” was all I could think to say. Grim’s face soured even more. Mica placed himself between the two of us, his arms outreached to distance us further.

“Look at him, quivering little whelp! You think you’re brave ‘cause you go in there with her. You’re just a fool, a stupid, naive little fool. Now I suggest you start doing what you’re supposed to do or we may just decide not to open that gate next time you’re in there. See how friendly that bitch is when she’s hungry…”

Grim turned and stormed off down the hall. Mica couldn’t look me in the eye. It was only my second visit and I already felt like I had failed them. I wished I could say more. Wished I could do more, but...it felt wrong. It felt like a lie.

Mica stepped over to the monitors and took a seat. Finally, he spoke:

“You took a great risk in there today...see that it doesn’t happen again. I can only protect you for so long…”

I bobbed my head. Pushed myself off the drywall and brushed some of its white dust from my soaked sleeves.

“I’m sorry, I just...need more time. I’m wearing her down I know it!”
Mica didn’t respond. Instead he was focused on the screens in front of him. His shoulders slouched and the chair he sat on creaked loudly.

“Where is Treble?” I then repeated. Mica scratched the back of his head before finally turning to me.

“Away, he’s out somewhere along the outer encampments, I don’t know why.”

“I see, well tell him that I’ll take extra time tomorrow. I’ll have something for him. I promise!”

“Alright, do you need an escort back to your tent?”

“No...I’ll be fine”

 

Time went on, as it always does. A new front from the north swept in and nearly blew our watchtowers down. The last foraging convoy rolled in and I...well I went and took a nap. Exciting I know. Unfortunately my sleep had been haunted by wild dreams the past few nights, keeping me up through the long dark hours of morning.

Later that evening, whilst finishing up in the mess hall, a group of militiamen approached me. There were five of them in total. The first three  were burly men who looked like they had been to hell and back. The last two, one a woman and the other a tall gangly man with wild spiked hair, trailed along behind them. The apparent leader of the pack, a six foot tall brute with a shaven head, slammed his fists on the table in front of me.

“So, you the guy?”

With a long, drawn out sigh I stood. “Yeah I suppose I’m the guy. You here to kick my ass?”

“Sounds about right…”

“I don’t know Deck, what if the CO sees?” croaked the lanky man from the back.

“Come on...we’s doin’ them a favor. Didnt’ you hear? Constable Grim’s said he’s liable to let that enormous bitch loose.”

“It ain’t right” another of the thugs added. It would seem I would need to defend myself verbally, otherwise I’d have to walk into my session tomorrow concussed, and that would only lead to bigger problems.

“Look guys, I’m just here to see what she knows, no one is getting released!”

“Yeah right, I heard about you two...real chummy am I right?”

“Are you kidding?” I quickly retorted when I noticed one of the men reach for something in his back pocket. The others locked onto me with ghastly stares. “That crazy bitch tried to kill me, like...twice just today. I’m with you guys I promise!”

It wasn’t the most convincing lie, but if I was to make it out of here in one piece I felt compelled to spit out something. The woman in the back grabbed Deck’s arm just as he was rearing back for a punch.

“Deck, he’s telling the truth” she muttered. “I was in the monitor room today, she almost crushed him in her hand!”

The oafish man’s anger waned. With a quick tug he freed his arm from the woman’s grasp and slammed it back onto the table. I jumped.

“Alright, but I’m watching you. None of us will stand by while you pander to that monstrosity.”

And with that, Deck and his retinue departed. It would seem I was making enemies everywhere now. As soon as they were out of sight I hastily gathered my things and bolted out to my tent.

A few hours later, while in my quarters, I slaved over what observations I had made so far. There must be something useful in there. Something I could make a case with. But, as I continued to pour over my records and notes, nothing really seemed to stand out.

I slumped back  onto one of my unstable camp-stools and began to chew the end of my pen. What was it that I had learned so far?

Vera claims that none of the giants were every like us? So they’ve always been the size they are now? What exactly did she mean?

There clearly seemed to be no organization or sense of unity amongst them. They are all very independent and, in many cases, territorial. Hostility between the giants was almost as common as their hostility towards humans. Except for those that trooped.

They speak our language well enough. Their own tongue is very similar. More or less a dialect of our own. So what does that say?

Vera seems reluctant to talk about her own violent history. Is it because of regret? Does she feel bad about the lives she has taken? No that wasn’t it. If anything she seemed eager to pass as being heartless. She wanted me to think that she had no problem killing me or the others.

And what was that about control? Everything comes back to control? Well I could’ve told her that. Every giant I have observed and studied suffer from some sort of god-complex. The power to make order or chaos. The power to rule or destroy. The power to let some live and others die. That’s what they seemed to get from it all.

Lastly, this disconnection with the humans stems from their inability to relate with us. They see us as...well insects. Sentient insects.

I groaned. The long hours of the night were beginning to take their toll on me. I would need to rest if I was going to do any better tomorrow. I flipped off my lantern and crawled onto my cot. As the night winds outside whipped and warped around the corners of my tent my hand crept up to the small handgun I kept on my nightstand. The handle was warm and its trigger was all too inviting.

 

Through the early hours of morning I shivered beneath the narrow sheets. An unnatural chill had drifted into our shriveled camp. Although it was late summer, there was little sunlight to soothe our brittle bones. Cold air found its way into every building, every structure. I awoke in a ball, with my blankets stuffed around my curled legs. I was quick to get dress.

On my way back to the mess hall I noticed an itchy spot on the back of my neck. Funny, there weren’t supposed to be any mosquitos out in this area. I decided it was nothing to worry about and simply continued on my way. As I rounded the corner of the northern quarter I saw a familiar, friendly face across the dirt road.

“Ellis?”

“Ah, Cyan, I thought that was you. It's been too long”

“I’ll say, you’ve been busy from what I hear.”

Cyan picked up the pace and managed to fall into step with me. As her name would suggest, she wore her typical turquoise scrubs. A surgeon’s mask hung from her neck. From the looks of it she had just been with a patient.

“You could say that…” I said with a light chuckle. I wanted to make it seem casual, but, much to my dismay, Cyan was more perceptive.

“Right...listen. I know you’ve been under a lot pressure lately but make sure to take care of yourself ok? You never did come back in for that other vaccination.”

To be honest, I purposely ‘forgot’ about that appointment. Something about needles really freaked me out. It was important to get my shots, I know, but sometimes...well nevermind.

“Oh yeah, I completely forgot about that!”

Cyan laughed. Her light-heartedness was a welcome break from the grave sea of people I had been wading through over the last few days.

“You’re a terrible liar, you know that right?”

I was. Especially with her. She was one of the few people on base who never seemed to be secretly judging you. It made bluffing nearly impossible.

“Well, I’ve never really been much for lies.”

“Well, you’re one of the first.”

It was painful how, after only being here a few short days, I already knew exactly what she meant. We walked along for a while in silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable silence though. It was relaxed, almost rectifying.

Eventually, when the mess hall came into sight, Cyan handed me a small hand-made pouch. I took it without question. No sooner had my fingers grasped the leather parcel that she began to rattle on about its contents.

“Its just a few things I put together for ya. It’ll help you sleep. I know you’ve had some problems with that. And well, there’ some other stuff in there...for your...other ailment. There’s an instruction sheet inside, its pretty straightforward.”

“Thanks Cy”

“No problem, well this is where I leave you. I’ve actually got to go see a family about a potential pregnancy. Good luck today!”

Just like that she was gone. The first truly friendly face in a long time. Well except for Vera...kind of. Was it friendly? Ah, I couldn’t tell. If anything I seemed to keep her amused and that was good enough. For now at least.

The mess hall was the usual drab collection of wandering souls who had the strength the drag themselves out of bed early in the morning. All their faces were familiar, though I didn’t know a single one of their names.

I got my food, sat down, and waited. For what? I don’t know. I just sat there, staring at the disgusting gobs of oats that sat on the tiny elliptical platter. Most would probably complain about the horrible food and dreadful living conditions. I, on the other hand, didn’t mind it all. Such awful surroundings made it that much easier to focus on my work. There was much to do today. I thought it would be best to get to Vera earlier, so that I could have more time talking. Hundreds of questions whirled about inside of me. So much to learn, so little time.

As I sat idle, the same troop of militiamen who had threatened me the night before entered. Out of the corner of my eye I watched them take their places around a long rectangular table just across from me. I did my best to act like I hadn’t noticed them. Their leader, the square-cut watchmen called Deck, snarled like wild dog. He said something to his comrades and collectively they began to laugh. Perhaps it was best that I leave before a row started up.

Upon getting to my feet I noticed Deck a his two larger companions likewise rise. I exited in a hurry. I didn’t make it twenty feet outside the tent when I felt two meaty pairs of hands lock onto my arms. I don’t think I have to tell you the rest.

When they were done with me I was left in the streets. Already I could feel the bruises on my stomach forming, probably in the shape of their bootprints. No one else was around to help me to my feet. They hadn’t touched my bag. That much was good. Aside from a busted lip and a swollen black eye no one would’ve have even been able to tell I was just assaulted. It was nothing...right?

The weight of my attackers’ feet still pounded on my limbs as I limped to the main facility. As I drew nearer the sentries walking the perimeter stopped and stared at me. No one said a word. I knew it would take time but my strength was returning to me. No petty aggression from some misguided soldiers was going to deter me. Besides, I understood why they acted. They were scared. I mean, we all were. All that fear, bottled up inside for so long...tends to have some negative side effects. Anyway, enough about them, there were more pressing matters to attend to.

When I got to the monitor room I found Treble and Mica waiting. They took one look at me and their faces fell. Mica cautiously approached and helped me into a chair. Treble, on the other hand, didn’t even flinch. The stony expression on his face soon returned. An emotionless drone erupted from his mouth as he began his usual greeting.

“And how are we today Ellis?”

As if he didn’t already know. I gently pushed Mica’s hand off of me and opened my bag. After a few seconds digging around I pulled out my latest profile and handed it to him. Mica passed it along to Treble, who, after staring at it wistfully for ten seconds, opened it and began perusing its contents. Mica finally spoke up.

“Ellis, are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine, had a little run in with a few of your men. Nothing to concern yourself with.”

“What are their names? I’ll have them court martialed!”

“No really its fine. It wasn’t so bad.”

Mica grumbled under his breath. I’d never seen him get angry before, it was...strange.

“No doubt Grim put them up to it!”

I wanted to interject but Treble beat me to it.

“Of course he did. But young Ellis is right, we have other things we need to worry about. I presume you came to get an early start?”

Pain shot through my head as I nodded.

“Perhaps it would be best if you put it off for now!” Mica cried. “It’s not advisable to send you in there like this! Perhaps in a few hours, after you’ve recovered.”

Again, I was ready to protest when Treble swooped in.

“Normally I’d agree with you Constable Mica, however Ellis still needs to fulfill his end of our bargain.”

“But sir!”

“No it must be done…”

“He’s right” I finally managed to say. “I’ll go, I’m not that bad. I’m ready. But I do have one request.”

The two uniformed men waited patiently for me to continue. All the while I weighed my options in my head. Neither would go for it, I knew that much. Time, I just need more time.

“I...will need an extension.”

Nothing.

“Its just that, she’s tougher than I thought she’d be. She’s somehow been answering all my questions yet still has managed to avoid true scrutiny.”

Again, nothing. My ankles wobbled. My arms shook. Finally, I stood again. Treble strode closer, his arms folded behind his back.

“We can discuss this after you return…”

Well, that’s all I was going to get from them now. Typical.

 

Half and hour later, I stood on the threshold of the inner atrium. No one was there today. It took me a solid ten minutes to figure out how to open the damn door, but when I did, I could feel the dewy air flooding in over my body. It was nice.

Blood still trickled into my mouth, leaving a horrible metallic taste on my tongue. By now the pills I had taken were starting to take their effect and I could feel the nerves beneath my skin reverting to their normal state. The sting in my brain was gone too. Now I could go to work.

Vera lay on her side facing the entryway. Her legs folded over one another and her arms sat in front of her, tossed lazily aside as she tumbled around in her sleep. Most of her hair, now finally dried, shrouded her face. I could see only her eyes through the matrix of chestnut tress. They were closed.

Hmmm, now how was I to wake her? Should I wait? No doubt she would be furious. I had woken enough people in my lifetime to know the usual consequences. Perhaps it was best I gave her time. Taking a seat at my usual spot I unclasped the latch on my satchel and began to read through my notes. Ok, maybe not read, more like stare. I didn’t have anything else to do...and I’d gone over everything in my possession at least a dozen times already.

Then the intercom crackled to life. At first I was relieved. I had grown to hate waiting at this camp. It felt like all I ever did anymore! That relief, however, quickly gave way to fear when I noticed Vera stirring. The voice was as loud and nonsensical as ever. It was Mica’s voice this time, that was all I could distinguish. He said something long and formal, which I paid little attention to. As his speech went on Vera seemed to grow more restless. Beneath her eyelids I saw movement. Her breath quickened. Then her legs began to shuffle.

Finally, she flopped onto her back and let out a long, ferocious, but fatigued groan. The walls and floor shuttered. The intercom finally died and I, still shaken from both my beating and the sudden thunderous outcry, could not move. Vera’s eyes shot open. For a while she just lay there, blinking amid the sparse morning daylight that seeped through the translucent wall.

Should I say something? Wait for her to say something? God dammit why did this always happen to me. I grew worried that I’d never warm up to her. I had a friend who always said that:

“Getting used to people was one of the hardest things we will ever have to do.” Naturally I’d ask him why and he’s say:

“Because, no one is ever the same. Just as soon as you think you’re used to one person someone comes charging into your life and messes everything up. Screws with your expectations…”

I don’t think I ever believed him till now. He was adamant about up until the day he died. Put a bullet through his temple a year after the invasion started. I guess he never did get used to the new guys.

Anyway, Vera finally turned back on her side. She rested her head on her arm and stared at me with sleepy eyes. Then let out another groan.

“...Good Morning…” I yelled over to her.

No reply. At first I thought she had fallen back to sleep but then she raised her right hand up in front of me, just as she had the day before. Oddly enough, I didn’t hesitate this time. The journey from solid ground to the palm of her hand was much easier. The transition almost brought a sense of calm. That is, until she actually moved me closer. The rush of air and horrible inertia knocked me on my back. I felt like I was going to puke. It was over in a matter of seconds though. Her hand tilted underneath me and I began to roll off. The slope of her palm was gentle so I didn’t crash onto the white floor with too much force. The spinning however, only added to my nausea. I gagged and gasped. Thank god I didn’t actually eat breakfast.

My sickness passed. Overhead I felt Vera’s breathe on me. Spinning around I saw that I sat on the ground just thirty feet from her head. To my right her titanic arm remained still. Honestly, it was like seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time. The majesty of it all. Stretching far down to my left was the rest of her body, which from this angle seemed so...unreal. There were no words for it. It was terrifying, awe-inspiring, and thought provoking all at once.

“Why must you come so early?” she spoke through her veil of hair. Though to her it was but a whisper, the volume of her voice was enough to knock me onto my back. As I cautiously leaned back up I saw her eyes remained shut.

“Sorry, just thought we’d get a little extra time today. Possible do two sessions…”

She shifted her weight a bit. I, in turn, braced myself for the tremors and awaited her response.

“Mmmmm, must you call them that?”

“What would you call them?”

“uuuuuhh I don’t know. It wouldn’t kill you to try and have a little fun with these…”

“It might…”

That got her attention. Her eyes opened a bit wider. The stare was still groggy but she seemed interested now.

“Oh really?”

“Yes”

“Hmph...well you’re no good to me then. Come back when you decide to loosen up a bit…” Before I could voice my response she flipped over onto her other side, leaving her back to me.

“Vera wait!” I cried out. My voice was growing hoarse.

Stillness.

“Vera come on! Look, I have my job you know that! I played your game now its time to really get down to it!”

Nothing. I needed something to coax her back out. Something I could lead with. Something I could use to squirm my way into her head.

“Vera look at what they did to me!”

The ground shook. Her torso tilted back towards me for a second. Then her head followed.

“Ok, you probably can’t see but they beat me! They did! Because I wasn’t...doing what I was supposed to. If I go back out there without any useful information I don’t know what they’ll do”

Ok so I stretched the truth a bit. I mean, I wasn’t wrong! The delivery wasn’t bad. I tried using the best groveling, teary voice I could. I knew that’d get her attention. If she thought that my fate was dependent on her she would surely respond.

Sure enough she flipped back over to face me. This time she was more attentive. With one hand placed flat on the ground dangerously close to me, she leaned in to inspect my wounds. At first I thought they were too minor for her to notice. Then, after concluding her observations, her head retreated.

“Black eye?”

“And more…”

“Sorry.”

“Its ok, you needn’t be sorry.”

“So tell me then Ellis. What kinds of things do you want to know.”

“Where you came from, what you want, anything you know that could help us against the...others”

She looked away. For a while her eyes floated along the edges of her prison.

“Ellis” she said with sigh.

“Yes?”

“Remember when I said I liked you...and I ask you to not screw it up?”

“Yes…”

“Well, that’s kind of what you’re doing right now”

“I know but…”

“Listen!” she groaned. I shut up. “I will cooperate, but I don’t want these to become so formal.” She brought her head down and leaned it up against the wall. It looked rather uncomfortable.

“If you just play along with me I’ll answer what you want. But lets not make this an interrogation. Ok? In fact…I wanted to hear more about you.”

Hmm. This was...different. A change in her profile? So far she didn’t seem that interested in my personal history. Maybe she was just getting used to me.

“Such as what?”

“Well, where are you from?”

“I’m from a town called Ashland”

“I don’t know where that is…”

“Ohio?”

“Nope, sorry”

“That’s ok, my hometown is...was nothing special”

“Lemme guess, a troop came in and leveled it?”
The memories started to well up inside of me, halting my speech. The strain mounted. My spine started to tremble. Vera noticed and rolled her eyes.

“Alright calm down! I’m sorry” she said with little sincerity.

“Ok well...what..about you?” I asked in a croaking voice. The mental pain had been diverted for now.

“Well, its hard to explain…”

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“No reason, really...I mean. It didn’t really have a name.”

“You didn’t call it anything?”

Again she groaned. Wearily she rolled onto her back. Both arms crossed over her abdomen. Guess she hadn’t quite woken up all the way yet. Eventually she brushed her hair back behind her left ear and waited. Was I supposed to say something else?

“Well, I’ve called it a few different things. Mostly just ‘home’ but…”

“What about your home...country? State? errr troop?”

“Don’t interrupt I’m thinking!” she spat.

What followed was the first comfortable silence the two of us ever shared. The air sat heavy on us both, like thick quilts shielding us from the cold outside. I, for once, felt calm in her presence. It would seem her subtle malicious undertones were starting to flake away. Then again, maybe this would have happened sooner had I just listened to her in the first place.

 

 

 

How can I describe what happened next? It was like...it was like it was almost choreographed. A waltz between allegiances. A pirouette in her gestures and a glissando in mine. I could see something tugging at the strings in her mind. Strauss’ Blue Danube drummed in my hears as she shifted her position. Yet, even with her constant effort she could not seem to make herself comfortable. After some time though, I felt compelled to give a follow up question.

“So you were never part of a troop?”

As I expected her gaze snapped in my direction. She gave me a quick warning glare. I wasn’t going to press my luck interrupting her a third time. However, her expression quickly faded as she lifted herself off the floor. Seeing her rear her upper body up was a tremendous sight. Never had I felt so small and exposed. It was like staring up at a mountain. With a few yawns she began to stretch out her arms. Then, whilst rolling her neck, she responded.

“Maybe for a little while, I tagged along with a couple others when I first got here…”

“When was that?”

Suddenly her hand slammed down in front of me. The shockwave sent out by the impact flung me off the ground a couple feet. I landed hard on my shoulder. A horrendous shooting pain rushed down my arm. My eyes remained closed. I was too afraid to look up at her.

The intercom’s echoing interference boomed down from overhead. But no message came with it. Instead, I heard Vera’s thunderous voice.

“Oh for fuck’s sake! Will you people ever leave me alone it was an accident! I didn’t touch him!”

That was a relief. I opened my eyes and sat back up. The ache in my shoulder didn’t go away however, and the pain in my torso started to return. With hopeful gaze I looked back up at Vera who stared menacingly at the ceiling. The intercom cut off shortly thereafter. I expected her to look back down, still wrapped up in her fury. However, when she finally did, her expression more akin to mischief than truculence.

There she went again, keeping me in line by scaring the hell out of me. Like a snake, she coiled back down onto the floor with her arms on either side of me. She wanted me to feel trapped, and it was working.

“So sorry about that…”

Nervously, I peered at my surroundings in an attempt to avoid eye contact.

“Its ok…”

“Oh come on, that wasn’t very fair of me.”

Her eyes grew a bit softer. Locks of her hair splashed down in front of her chest as she leaned down against the pallid tile.

“Sorry for interrupting you...again.”

“You do have a bad habit of that…”

“I know its just-”

“But!”

I froze. This time, I patiently waited for her to finish.

“I suppose I shouldn’t be so abrasive with you.”

“I-I..I mean. Is that so?”

She gave me a half smile and tilted her face a bit closer

“Hmph, don’t get so full of yourself just yet. You’re cute...but not that cute.”

In reply I gave a swift, awkward nod. She withdrew a bit and opened her arms, allowing my claustrophobia to dissipate.

“So, about this troop. Did you know anyone else in it?”

“Oh I suppose I got to know them.”

“And?”

“And...nothing. Two males and a female. Gurn and Amora, I don’t remember the other male’s name, he didn’t speak much.”

“How long were you with them?”

She scrunched up her nose as she thought back. Just as before her eyes danced about as she dug through her memory.

“A month...maybe. That was back in the beginning.”
“Why’d you leave them…”

“Same reason most of us aren’t in troops. We just don’t get along, we didn’t...share the same interests if you catch my meaning…”

“No...I...I don’t.”

Again she let out a sleepy groan. Meanwhile I was attentive; things were finally getting interesting. I was actually pretty excited. So much so that when she let her head flop back onto the ground I didn’t even flinch from the tremors.

A blanket of her hair lay over her mouth, muffling her words as she said: “They just weren’t...into the same things.”

“What sorts of things?”

With a puff of air she blew the hair from her face and continued speaking.

“Look all I can say is that Gurn was a slug and Amora...well...she was just a mean bitch.”

Despite her vagueness I understood exactly what she meant. Quite frankly I was a bit surprised. Given our interactions I would have thought Vera enjoyed such...pastimes.

“So you didn’t go for all the...what exactly?”

Slowly, she turned to face me. Our eyes locked and I saw a faint glimmer of guilt in a twitch of her eyebrow.

“They just did some pretty horrible things...that’s all I’m willing to tell. Got it?”

“I understand. So you just one day left?”

“One night actually, they were sleeping.”

“What have you been doing since then?”

The severity in her face melted. Now she looked at me like a hungry wolf. The inhuman stare made me want to curl up into a ball.

“Oh you know, whatever I want. I like it better that way…”

I was about to follow up with another question when abruptly pushed herself back up of the floor. She began to roll her neck around again, grimacing with each rotation.

“Ugh! This is killing my neck. Hold on…”

With a graceful twist she turned off her side. She then planted both hands on the ground beside her, again nearly flattening me. With little effort, she pushed herself back against the right wall. She leaned back and set her feet flat on the ground with her knees level with her chest. In awe, I peered up at the two enormous arches set in front of me. They were impossibly high, impossibly broad. It was terrifying and exhilarating. A rush of blood, hormones, and thoughts kept me transfixed on her looming limbs. It was then I noticed the few bruises running up along her calf and back down her thigh. What were they from?

All of a sudden, my focus was broken by another violent thud. Vera had placed her hand down in front of me.

How’d she expect me to climb up? Her fingers were nearly as thick as I was tall. When I spun to face her I saw that she wasn’t even looking down at me. She just...waited. I let out a long, obnoxious groan in an attempt to draw her eyes. But, try as I might, her gaze did not sway.

Oh well, looks like I’d have to make the ascent on my own. Making my way down to the ends of her fingers I began to calculate my best approach. With some effort, I managed to hoist myself up onto her index finger. A quick glance up told me Vera still wasn’t looking. Finally, once situated securely on her palm she lifted me up.

This time the ascent was more steady. For once her handling didn’t make me want to puke. Still my head spun a bit from the vertigo. A couple seconds later I found myself face to face with a mahogany curtain. From out of it four more titanic fingers emerged, brushing it out of my field of view. What was left was an the even slope of her shoulder. Turning to the left I saw her sweep the rest of her hair over the opposite shoulder. Stupidly, I waited for further instructions.

“Well?”

“W-what?”

“Get on!”

“Oh right...sorry”

Of course I didn’t quite know how I was to go about making my way up. The climb itself wasn’t far or steep but there was nothing to hold onto! Whatever, I’d have to at least try. First I tried jumping up and grabbing onto her skin. However, after sliding back down several times, I found that would not work. Above me I could hear her snicker. Just after my fourth attempt I felt some enormous force on either side of me. At first I was certain my entire mid-section was about to implode. Ribs creaked, my spine jerked. All the while my arms and legs flailed in a maddened frenzy.

Next thing I knew I was lying prone on her shoulder. I pushed myself and tried to breath. It was a steady, painful wheeze that came out. Each time I inhaled my innards shriveled with wretched affliction. I don’t think Vera knew her own strength. What she thought to be a gentle touch nearly crushed my chest.

“Better, see?”

“Ye-ah…” I managed to let out between coughs.

“Ughh you’re so dramatic!”

Perhaps she was right. Nonetheless, it felt like my stomach had ruptured. Whilst struggling to regain my breath I kept my eyes on Vera’s head. She now rested it against the wall, with her eyes fixed wistfully ahead. The more I sat there, the more questions I thought to ask. But, of course, Vera beat me to it.

“Ellis, why do you-? I mean when did...no.”

“W-what *cough* is it?”

“Why do you want to do this?”

“Do...what?”

“You’re little psychology thing. What do you get out of it?”

“Its just...something I’ve always wanted to do. I don’t really know. Why?”

“Hmph…”

“What?
“Its just kind of odd, you wanting to know why I do everything I do, but you don’t know why you...nevermind”

“No I get it.”

Then we were silent. I kept fiddling with my position. No one ever told me the proper way to sit on a shoulder! Here I was, precariously perched on someone who, to the best of my knowledge, was completely oblivious to my own immediate danger. Balance was key, that’s what I originally determined. She must of felt me shuffling about because about that time she peeled her eyes off the wall opposite her and stared down at me with a look of confusion.

“Ughhh, sit still would you?”

“Sorry I just. I don’t know what I’m doing…”

“Clearly”

Again we fell into silence. Damn! I needed to keep some kind of momentum going! Then I remembered the bruises.

“Vera, there is actually something else I’ve been wondering.”

“Hmm?”

Well I noticed you had some...marks on your arms and legs… I was just wondering what-”

“Oh...those…” she moaned in a slightly deeper, more solemn voice.

That was concerning.

“Yeah what happened?”

“Well, lets just say just before you go here I was used for...other purposes.”

That didn’t sound good at all. Suddenly I found myself getting angry.

“Like what?”

“They wanted to test more of their little weapons on me. That’s all. Couple of days in a row some weird little devices appeared up there…” she gestured up to the walkway a few hundred feet off the ground. “And they just shot at me. It wasn’t that big a deal. I didn’t feel much...they should’ve known better. Fucking little bugs…” the contempt in words grew exponentially. The same angry twitch in her eyebrow returned.

“Wow...I’m sorry that’s...awful”

“It wasn’t so bad. They told me they’d gas me if I did anything to them. So I just sat there. Where do they get off...attacking me like that! Trapped in here for weeks!”

Now I was starting to get scared. Fury welled up in her voice like lava in a volcano. I seemed to have a knack for opening fresh wounds.

“Alright, well forget that let's talk about-” but she wasn’t listening to me.

“I’d like to see any of them come in here and tell me off like they did then! We’ll see how fucking smart they think they are without a head!”

“Vera I-”

“You and all your other little pests. Who are you to oppose ME!? I should-”

“VERA!” I finally screamed. Again, I may have jumped the gun.

A cold glare was directed down at me. I really needed to learn.

“Excuse me?”

“Sorry I just...I don’t want to see-”

“Are you trying to make me mad? Is that what this is? Prove I’m some kind of violent monster that should be executed as soon as possible...huh?”

“No! I swear I just…”

“You fucking liar”

I felt her whole body begin to shake.

“Look I’m sorry what happened. But I promise I’m here to help you. I don’t think you’re a monster! Even if the others might-”

It was too late though. She pitched forward and I helplessly tumbled off my perch. I screamed and screamed and screamed. But, instead of plummeting several feet to my death, I landed, painfully I might add, back in Vera’s palm. When I finally picked myself back up I found myself staring back into a pair of hateful blue eyes. Shit.

“WHY DO YOU WANT TO HELP ME?”

“I….I”

Come on Ellis! Now was the time for words not fearful stuttering. It felt like no matter what direction I looked I was surrounded by her. An enormous face, two walls of hair, and a barrier of fingers at my back.  

“B-b-because I think this is a mistake…”

Vera didn’t flinch. I tried to stand but something blocked all communication between my legs and brain.

“Ok maybe that’s not the right term. I...just don’t think you’re...you’re different from the the others!”

“I can prove otherwise.”

“Ok, again not what I meant...what I mean to say is…”

The surface of her skin began to heat up as more blood coursed through her veins. Combined with the humid warmth of her furious breath, I was starting to sweat a bit. Of course, that could’ve just as likely come from all the adrenaline my heart was pumping through my system.

“You shouldn’t be here…”

Vera’s eyes narrowed.

“You didn’t attack anyone. You were just minding your own business...weren’t you?”

Still nothing. There was a point where I thought she was starting to soften. The waves of air pouring from her nostrils began to grow more rhythmic. Shielding face with my arms, I finally managed to rise to my feet.

“I have spent a long time watching your kind. Seeing what they do, analyzing, observing, sometimes firsthand. You don’t act like most of them. Ok, well you do but...you don’t seem as...I don’t know...aggressive?”

“Of course I’m not like them!” she roared. Despite the horrible force of her voice I managed to remain standing.

“You see that’s...that’s good. I can help you then. I know they came looking for you. I know they started it. What I need to know now is why! Then, maybe this can all be over.”

There was a brief shiver that ran down my limbs. I could feel the hand beneath me start to lower, and I with it. Slowly she withdrew her stern face. The sneer lingered though, casting its bitterness down on me.

“I’m tired…”

“Tired?” I squeaked.

“Yes, tired. Tired of this room, of you little people, tired of this wretched world. I cannot die and I cannot live. I just want to sleep. You come in here, waking me, asking me why they decided to drug me. Why they slapped that damn mask on my face.”

“I know...what they did. What they’ve been doing... it's been awful but you have to understand…”

“I understand just fine, Ellis” she said my name in a hiss. It was like she was sticking fish hooks through my stomach. “Its war after all. I just can’t stand the thought of you weak, idiotic, little fuckers keeping me here. But more than that...I’m surprised…”

“Surprised?”

“Surprised they told you all this…I thought they were kicking you around too. Prying at your little mind with their metal fingers. Thought that maybe that was some kind of common ground between us.”

“They didn’t tell me anything.”

“No?”

“No, I sort of...pieced it together. From various sources. Its what I do after all.”

The sneer was gone now. In its place was a satisfied grin.

“Hmph...maybe I haven’t been giving you enough credit. Aren’t you scared of them?”

“Well, I’ve always been scared. Ever since the first day I got here. Ever since...well...since this all began. We all have been scared.”

Her wicked smile grew larger, and the slight comfort I felt from it disappeared.

“Hmm, well that’s a nice thought. I guess we’ve done well for ourselves.”

I hated that. That horrible sense of pleasure she got from the fear of others. It was an almost universal trait amongst the giants. Even if she wasn’t a rampaging, barbaric, murdering fiend, she still derived some satisfaction from our pain. That was something I could not ignore. Even if I felt like killing her was wrong, I sure as hell didn’t feel comfortable just letting her walk away. Not yet at least.

We regarded each other calmly for a few moments. In my mind I liked to think she was starting to feel a little bad about earlier. For some reason, it had me start thinking about certain aspects of her life that I had not considered investigating. With that in mind I suddenly realized that I had been approaching her the wrong way. In theory I kept trying to treat her like a human, but in application I simply didn’t think of her as one. I’d considered surface level behavior, origins, intentions, etc. But there were many other things I needed to know. What was her upbringing like? Did she have any...friends, family, romantic relationships? It sounded irrelevant in my head but I secretly knew that it was key.

However, as I went about formulating my next approach, a deep, ominous rumbling resonated out to my left. I looked out to the creaky metal walkway and saw a two metal doors slide open to reveal a tall, rectangular recess in the wall. Inside was a towering metal canister that stood at least fifty feet tall.

“What the hell is that?” I asked Vera in a soft voice. She didn’t respond. Just as the doors’ motion halted, Vera shot her left hand out and seized the metal cylinder. A myriad of motions followed. Her eyes darted back and forth between me and the container. Her shoulders rotated around a couple times and an unexpected shudder ran across her legs.

“Hold on just a second…” she said. Her words flowed out so rapidly that I almost didn’t understand them. I was about to say something else when I suddenly face planted onto her palm. She began moving her hand away from her torso. I tried once more to get up but the ground beneath me gave way. I tumbled down twenty feet onto another, much harder, surface.

At last, I was able to lift myself into an unstable squat. I was upon an island, surrounded on all sides but nothing but air. No! It was a peak. Looking out over the valley to my front I saw that Vera had deposited me on her knee. God, this may be the death of me yet.

Eagerly she unscrewed the metal cap off and sniffed the tube’s contents. A disgusted frown followed . Vera was about to tilt it up when she noticed my prying eyes staring curiously at her.

“Just a moment…They haven’t fed me in a while”

Ahhh, that explains it. Odd though, what exactly were they giving her? I hadn’t thought to ask that either. Whatever it was, they dished it out in meager servings. There was no way that bottle held enough sustenance to maintain her metabolism.

Vera held the cannister against her lips and lifted the other end up, taking a large swill before setting it aside. She wiped the residual matter off her lips and shuddered.

“Ugh, its even worse today.”

Well, I suppose I should probably find out what the mysterious fare was.

“What...exactly are they giving you?”

Without looking at me she reached over and picked the jar back up. I drew slightly closer to the dropoff before me. Vera held the open end of the bottle and I, foolishly, peered inside. Although I couldn’t see far, I could see traces of a sticky syrup-like substance clinging to the edges. It had a sickly sweet smell to it. Not unlike vinegar and honey. After taking a huge whiff I nearly lurched.

“Its not awful, but after a month I’ve had my fair  share of it. At this point I’m so hungry I don’t even care anymore…” Vera lamented. Eventually she pulled it away and took another swig. The same tortured expression returned.

After a few more dredges she returned the metal canister to the alcove in the wall. Then she turned back to me. Her tongue wiped the last bits of the treacle from her lips. It brought her pre-prison eating habits to mind. One of the largest problems the giants had faced since their arrival here was finding ample amounts of food. Since human society had pretty much collapsed, very few farmers, producers, and ranchers were around to restock all the fields and herds consumed by them. Of course, they did turn to humans as a food source once the famine started. It fit right in with their other sadistic tendencies so I honestly wasn’t surprised. A fog of apprehension fell down around me as I considered Vera’s own...preferences. Would it be insensitive to ask? She was already on edge, I didn’t need to upset her anymore.

It wasn’t long before Vera grew restless from the silence. My staring wasn’t helping either. Although, by now, I think she was starting to realize how easily I drifted off.  With a snap of her fingers I spun back into reality.

“And what do you have swimming around in that tiny little head of yours?”

“I was just thinking about you…”

“Me? I suppose you think about me a lot…” she whispered in a deceptively coy tone. “All good I hope?”

“Just something I was...wondering, nothing you need to worry about…”

“Ooooh, I’m curious. You have to tell me now!” she chirped amusedly.

“Just, if you had-”

“What?”

“Nothing, I don’t think I want to know…”

There was a flash of intrigue in her eyes. Her lashes fluttered and mouth hung open ever so slightly. Between her lips I could see the tip of her tongue slide back and forth across the edge of her her two front teeth. She knew what I exactly what I was curious about. Somehow she always knew these things. Call it her...predatory intuition. Constantly guessing at my next decision. She was good at it.

“You want to know if I’ve ever eaten anyone?”

“Well I-”

“Of course you do...That’s probably reaaally important for you little evaluation. Whatever you call it.” she droned on facetiously.

Those wolfish eyes! My god they would not stray of me! For a while she let me simmer in my anxiety.

“Perhaps you don’t want to know. It may be best…”

“Its just that, well...it would be...an important bit of information.”

Why couldn’t I just keep together for just one second? What more could I do though? It may be an important factor to consider later on.

“Hmmm, there you go again...opening doors you don’t want to look inside. Do you think its worth it?”

Vera’s hands drifted up to her legs.

“I...yes”

She leaned in. Perhaps I had spoke too softly. Both hands slid up until they rested just at the base of her kneecaps. I tried my best to remain where I was, though I could feel both the physical pull of gravity and the urge to flee tugging at my center.

“Well, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t...sample.”

I don’t know why I was dreading her answer so much, I had already assumed as much. Yet, hearing the words come out of her own mouth felt like a punch in the throat.

“I’d also be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it, but like you said I wasn’t one to go looking for trouble...so it was only rare occasions.”

I edged back. Old Memories  of people I knew being lifted into the air and never coming back down resurfaced. The attack during the Mississippi crossing was especially bad. I still remember people jumping into the water, desperately trying to flee that horrid grasp. Vera caught my daydreaming again.

“Ellis?”

“Sorry, I...thinking again…”

She gave me a pouty look and slammed back against the wall.

“Oh don’t worry little one, I don’t like my food to have names, I wouldn’t eat you now if I could…”

 

 

I had just turned twenty two when this all began. About a year later, on my twenty third birthday, I had enlisted in the Psyn Corps. But, when I showed up at the camp, they took one look at me and sent me back. I didn’t stop trying though. I joined a militia group...the blue shirts. The same division that controlled Camp Juliet. Unfortunately, no sooner had they put a rifle in my hands that I realized that I did not have the penchant for violence necessary to be a soldier. In short, I was terrible. Of course I knew I had more to offer academically, so I thought maybe I should focus on continuing my Psych studies. One thing let to another, I met important people, learned important things, and, eventually, I became the go to consultant on giant behavior this side of the Rockies.

Now, I know that sounds exciting but trust me, it was far from glorious. It mostly consisted of me travelling around in ramshackle vehicles to different colonies to watch shaky recordings. This went on for about a year. Not much else was going for me, until I was approached about the prisoner. Naturally I was thrilled! This was going to be my shining moment. The point at which people would start appreciating my efforts. The point at which I may actually start to contribute. I guess I was so blindly consumed with my own aims that I had not considered the...occupational hazards that would accompany it.

Wait! Why am I sorting through all of this now? Is this what they meant when they say your life flashes before your eyes? What did that say? Was I about to die?

No. Vera was just toying with me again. Typical, I know, but there was something different about it this time. Gradually I started to notice the usual physical cues of her perverse satisfaction were disappearing. It was as if frightening me was becoming less fulfilling.

Then, she let out a sigh, finally breaking my tangent train of thought.

“So are you  just going to sit there and stare at me the rest of the day?”

“No, I was just...thinking again. That’s all!”

Another sigh. Again she pitched forward, although this time it wasn’t to glare at me.

“You’ve been thinking so much...don’t you ever get sick of it?”

“Well, I...I can’t help it. Besides its my job to think”

“Ugh, ‘its my job’” she repeated in a mocking voice. “Don’t you get sick of working with these other...whatever they are.”

“People...they’re people”

“Whatever…”

“Yeah, I suppose sometimes. But I need to contribute...I don’t want to just roll over and die.”

“Hmm, Some might say that’s the wiser choice. Besides, from what you’ve told me they don’t even seem to want your help all that much”

“Well its...just a different world now. People want...results. Well I guess they always have.”

Vera stared back at me. Her face was serious but I could tell she didn’t quite understand what I meant. There was no point in trying to explain it to her.

“Tell me then. What was it like before?”

Wow, that was...an unexpected question. Not only that but the more I thought about it the more I came to realize just how difficult it was to answer. What was the world like? It wasn’t great, but it sure as hell was better than it is now.

“Its...tough to describe.”

Vera lifted her hand up in front of me and gave me an encouraging nod. I supposed I was to climb aboard, so I did. As much I hated heights, I couldn’t ignore the fact that I was making some ground here. I had to keep pushing.

“I’ve got time. Tell me.”

Now how was I going to do that? There was a point, back in college before all this began, that I was asked a very similar question by a professor. He’d say:

“Now imagine an alien coming to earth. This being has no concept of what our world is like outside its physical appearance, no concept of what it means to be human. This alien approaches you and asks: ‘What is this planet like’, What do you say? Do you describe its history? Its people? The current state of things? What constitutes the greatest essence of planet earth and humankind?”

Did I come up with an answer back then? Probably said something cynical and generic. I never would have thought I’d find myself in that exact situation. What was even more troubling was that Vera seemed eager to know. Why? That, for me at least, was one of the biggest mysteries.

“Well…” I eventually began. “It was, like any world I guess. There were good and bad people. Rich and poor. Advanced and...well not advanced. Large, defined countries. Families. Politics. War. Discovery.”

“We ruined that for you?”

“Well, kind of.”

“Did you think that would last forever?”

“I don’t know...I thought it would last through my lifetime.”

Vera paused for a second and averted her gaze. Something new was pecking at her mind. With her other hand she smoothed out her hair.

“I mean...it was a complicated world. I suppose it still is but for different reasons. I can’t imagine it was much different from wherever you are from.”

In almost a whispered she replied: “Oh it most certainly is.”

“What?”

“Yeah this is very different”

“Really?”

“Yes really…”

Thinking back, I suppose at some point I made that conclusion. I was never sure how it was different, but I knew that there must have been some environmental factor that made them so malicious. What it was...well I couldn’t have been certain. A few ideas came to mind, none stuck though.

“So, why do you hate us so much?”

Another sigh. This time it was filled with far more frustration. Vera let her head flop back onto the wall, exposing her neck and jaw. Patiently, I waited for a response.

“Ellis, I’ve always said you seem smart. Maybe naive...but smart. I would have thought by now you would have realized something…”

Interesting. A sudden surge of endorphins flooded my skull. I adjusted my position and braced myself for the rest of her statement. But, instead of continuing, she just sat there.

“Realized what?” I said, my voice welling up emphatically.

“Ellis, I don’t hate humans. Ok...maybe I didn’t. I can’t say for sure how I feel about you all now. But overall I’d say most of my kind feels the same way.”

I won’t lie, I was kind of shocked. It was evident too, because as soon as Vera’s eyes met mine again she raised an eyebrow in her perplextion.

“What?” she asked

“Nothing its just...Well now I’m confused. Why do you...why do all of you want to...well kill us then?”

Vera’s trademark smirk reappeared. She lifted her index finger up to her face and let it rest on her cheek whilst the others curled up beneath her chin.

“I think that’s a question you can answer on your own.”

“I-I-I”

“Come on...use that little brain of yours.”

Of course I was trying. Vera continued to regard me quizzically. It was the most encouraging look I’d gotten in months.

“Help me out…”

Another groan was her first response. Then, after some more time staring at each other she began to speak. “Come on, what is hate?”

“Hate? Well if I had to say-”

She held up her other hand and shook her head. “No, rhetorical question...You see, hate is...well I don’t mean to be cliche but hate is like fire, right? Its consuming, burning, raging. Not only that but it only consumes, burns, and rages certain things right?”

Warily, I nodded. So far I didn’t quite know where she was going with this metaphor.

“Anyway, hate is the same way. Not only that but hate is personal. You can’t just hate a whole race.”

Initially, I hesitated to comment. Sure, I understood what she meant but I wasn’t quite certain if I believed her. As a human I understood that there have been many humans who hated entire races. She wasn’t aware of that though. So I just continued to stare.

“Ok maybe you can...but we don’t. We get angry with you sure but, lets face it, most of my kind are here for one thing…”

“Control.” I interjected. My head dropped. I wanted to avoid eye contact but I couldn’t pull myself away from her face. She looked back with the same carnivorous glimmer in her eyes accompanied by a wicked half-smile.

“More or less” she muttered.

“And you too? You looking for control?”

“I thought we already established this...I just want to be left alone.”

“But...you still like it.”
“Well who doesn’t?”

Another fit of shuddering came over me. Vera noticed immediately and brought me a bit closer. In response I leaned back and did my best to keep my limbs still.

“So are we personal enough yet?”

Yet another wash of her breath.

“Getting there” I timidly responded.

“Still nervous?”

“Shouldn’t I be?”

There was a split second in which her face fell. Call it wishful thinking, but I thought there was a twinge of regret hidden in it. Perhaps I should try to dig deeper. I was starting to think that she was trying to hide her empathy.

“Tell me something Vera…”

Carefully, I picked through the phrasing of my next question. Each wave of her calm breath kept my mind spinning. The humid maelstrom was a peculiar mixture of comfort and calamity. Whenever she inhaled I found myself tapping my legs nervously with the tips of my fingers.

“...if we were to meet, right now, on the outside. Away from all of this, what would you do?”

Immediately she bit her lower lip and tilted her head. Staring off into some far corner, she sat in silence for a good while. You could almost hear the gears grinding inside her head. But, I knew better. I had a feeling that this was just a show. That she was only trying to make it look like a hard decision. Deep down, I sensed she had already thought about this and made her decision. All that was left to be seen now was whether or not that final decision would be the answer she gave.

“Its hard to say…” Vera finally blurted out. Her attention turned back to me. “Nothing bad, I can assure you of that.”

“So you wouldn’t do any-”

“Look, you can be a pest, true. But I stand by my original statement, I do like you.”

“Why?”

“Why? Why, ask? Why not just accept it?”

“I’m curious. You should know me well enough by now, I’m typically curious. I want to know why.”

As I waited for an answer the surface of Vera’s hand started to plummet, and I with it. The drop was steady but sudden, nearly causing me to lose myself again. When her hand finally stopped it lay at rest in her lap. I, though still recovering from the abrupt descent, managed to arch my neck back to catch a glimpse of her thought riddled face hundreds of feet above. Moments later she glanced back down.

“I’ve been here a long time. Its awful. Nothing to do. Trapped. Then you come along and, to be perfectly honest, you’re the only interesting thing to happen to me in weeks. So, naturally I’ll take a liking to you.”

I sensed that wasn’t all.

“Besides, you’re fun. Well sometimes… other times you can be a real boor. But you’re better than nothing. Plus, you don’t hate me like the others, do you?”

To be blunt, I hadn’t considered my personal opinion of her. Normally such things don’t matter, its all about being objective in my line of work. I most definitely didn’t hate her, but I’m not sure I could say I liked her either. No, instead there was some sense of kinship I felt. Not sure what it was, or why I felt that way but it was there. Perhaps we shared a sense of mutual suffering. Both of us prisoners in our own way. Both subject to the temperament of the high command. Both more sinned against than sinning, as Shakespeare would’ve put it.

“No of course I don’t hate you…”

“Hmm, but you don’t think of us as friends?”

“No, I...I guess not”

“Me either”

“I’d still like to be if that’s ok with you. We’re just...just not there yet!”

“It may take some time, especially for you.”

Now what was she getting at? Was it worth asking about?

“What do you mean?”

“Oh come on...like I said, you need to trust me. I don’t see that happening for some time.”

“I let you pick me up didn’t I?”

“Ughh, I suppose but lets face it. If I told you right now that if you let me out I’d just leave peacefully and never bother anyone again you wouldn’t let me go would you?”

“Well, probably not but-”

“But nothing! I don’t blame you, especially after what I’ve told you...and while we’re being honest I don’t know if I CAN say for sure I would leave peacefully. My actions are a mystery to me sometimes.”

“Well I appreciate the truthfulness. It doesn’t help your case much...but thank you”

Vera leaned in above a little closer. At the same time she raised her hand. My eyes were locked ahead, tracing the surface of her stomach as she brought me closer.

“Is there really any hope for me anyway? Was there ever any in the first place?”

Again the whimsy was absent from her voice. She tried to fake a relaxed tone but it was easily dismissable. For a moment I thought there was a faint shimmer in her eyes but now I think it was just my imagination. A mirage conjured by my empathetic mind.

“I wish I could say yes, but...well they’re stubborn.”

Then, her voice quivered. Vera’s strength was faltering. The angry outburst, her wicked games, and now this...it was all stress induced. It was the result of weeks of confinement, fruitless interrogation, and humiliation. I understand that she is the first they’ve managed to hold but this is not how it should be done. Finally, with even more despair in her voice she managed to whimper out:

“Ellis, am I going to die?”

Of course I didn’t know what to say. Teary women were, are, and always will be the bane of all men, no matter their size. There is no greater weight to be placed on a soul then condemning a life with one word. So I lied.

“I don’t know”

She nodded. I must say she was managing to hold back the tears pretty well. Yet, even with her resolve, I could see them struggling to scratch the surface of her sclera.

“How long do I have now?”

“They said I had three days. Not including my first visit.”

“Tomorrow then?”

“Friday more likely”

A long, arduous silence followed. Nothing I had ever experienced could have prepared me for a moment like that. A tortured trembling took a hold of her for a few seconds but then passed. All I wanted now was to be set down, she was getting far too emotional.

“I’ve realized it would come to this a long time ago...it never made it any easier.” Vera went on in an almost sobbing voice. With her other hand she covered her mouth. Waves of her hair fell down around her head, casting shadows over her melting features. She said something quick and muffled.

“What?” I asked. I know it was stupid. Of all the things I should’ve saod at that moment that was certainly not one of them. Vera let her hand drop and repeated herself.

“I need to set you down for a second.”

Before I could oblige, she let her fingers fall in around me to form a dark prison. There was movement, some chaotic tumbling on my part, and finally: light. With a skip, roll, and thud I landed back on the outer edge of the chamber’s floor. Once I picked myself up I saw Vera’s hand retreating.

She shriveled into a menaced sphere. Muscles in her legs and arms jerked. Both hands clapped down over her mouth. Then, for a little while there was a peaceful silence. I could not enjoy it. I knew what was coming. Some might compare it to the calm before the storm, but I...I think it was more like the prelude of a great symphony. A crescendo of emotion that was to be both beautiful and terrifying at the same time, and it was.

After a lengthy inhale, Vera released a bone shattering, mind killing, earth fracturing scream. It was, as I had always suspected it to be, pure agony. No sooner had it emerged that it was over. When I regained my hearing I found that I had been knocked to the floor. Looking back over to her I saw that she continued to shake. Tears streamed down her face now and her hands had returned to their position over her mouth. As I got up, she let out another shriek.

It seemed that she was no longer going to hold back. She wailed and screamed. First it was anger, then fear, then disdain. Gloom, regret, frustration, and something purely animalistic followed shortly. Both legs shot out and collided with the wall opposite her. The impact shook the whole chamber. Vera’s head ducked down so that her chin lay on her chest. Her hands gripped the back of her neck as she continued to shriek. The dismal trembles now had turned to enormous, uncontrollable convulsions.

It was time for me to leave.

Initially I thought I’d say something. However, after seeing her entire torso flex, expand, and contract with such raw dismay, I realized that it was best I leave as soon as possible.

Though the ground quaked and the wall rattled with Vera’s unfettered despondency, I somehow managed to get back to the door. It took a great deal of mental and physical effort, but I finally managed to push the heavy door closed.

Once the huge metal gate was shut and locked behind me I sprinted to the stairs. Every step I made was misplaced, mostly due to the constant violent vibrations. The flimsy stairs that led to main floor nearly collapsed under me as I sped up.

When I did reach the main floor I found it to be in a very real, very definitive state of chaos. What organization there was before was replaced with restrained panic. Militia, scientists, bureaucrats, officers, and clerks warped around each other like angry wasps.

Slipping through that frenzied crowd was difficult. No matter which way I turned I collided with another body eager to escape. Some of the soldiers tried to corral the mob but it was no use. Officers barked orders and, for the most part, the frightened people heeded their words. It was kind of nice to see that even amidst this staggering sea of fear there was some sense left in these people. In fact, it was almost like they had experienced something like this before. What am I saying, of course they have.

Whilst spinning about in the central maelstrom I felt a firm hand seize my left arm and drag me from the crowd. When the myriad of faces was behind me I saw Constable Mica leading me to the main monitor room. There was a certain ambivalence in his gait. One that I hoped was not an omen of our imminent doom.

“I’ve found him Constable.” Mica droned as we entered. Treble and few other officers stood around the wall of screens. The pale, bluish light illuminated their fronts and left their back in shadow, giving them a ghastly appearance.

“Sit down Ellis.”

I didn’t have to. As soon as Mica released me another tremor hit, sending me sprawling back into a rolling chair just behind me. Mica joined the others. The shaking didn’t seem to bother them at all. Then again, they probably have had their fair share of tantrums to deal with.

“Sir…” I began. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t think she was going to…”

“Ellis please, its quite alright. We’ve dealt with such outbursts before…”

“She did something very similar her first few nights here, of course those were fueled by more rage.” Mica added.

“If we could weather those we will survive this.”

I didn’t know what to say. Of all the things that I had done they were ok with this?

“Sir, I...I don’t understand.”

“That’s quite alright. Are you well? You’re lucky you got out when you did.”

Treble’s stern scrutiny bore down on me like the rays of the sun. Something about the way he talked made it impossible to even consider lying. What was more unnerving was how, only an hour or so before, Treble seemed adamant about “getting results”. Now, having only managed to stir Vera into a wild frenzy, he was feeling more lenient. I felt like he was hiding something, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know what it was.

“I’m ok...again I’m so sorry. Being cooped up in there for so long like that and...the conditions. She was bound to snap…But then again...your treatment of her didn’t help either.”

Mica motioned to speak but halted when Treble raised his hand. A convocation of muttering and whispering started up amongst the other officers. Treble took a few steps towards me.

“Ellis, these are times of war. You can’t honestly say you feel bad for her do you? Perhaps you’ve been in there far too long”

“Look my business is the mind. I can’t get much out of someone who is so shaken up. You do realize that whatever negative feelings she had towards humans before has now be amplified ten fold? She won’t tell us anything more, especially if she-”

My rant was interrupted by another enormous tremor. I stabilized myself on a nearby desk while the others stood by idly.

“I can understand your...disapproval but given our resources what else could we do? She is a drain on this camp, the only thing she is good for now is information and experimentation. So far the former has proved less than promising.”

“Sir its like I said, just give me more time! There’s no way she’ll talk if she knows she’ll be executed in less than two days!”

Treble’s hand shot up again and I, almost reflexively, shut up.

“That’s another thing…” Treble stated with less fervor. “Unfortunately the...substances...needed for our guest’s termination are...well not in plentiful supply.”

Wide eyed, I stared back. What did he mean?

Mica jumped in.  “We’ve ordered more, but, as you are well aware, shipping is not quite what it used to be!”

“So, now what? How long do I actually have?”

“Difficult to say at this point. But, given the blow you delivered today I’m sure it will prove more fruitful.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“She’s desperate now, she’ll-”

For once I worked up the nerve of interrupt the good Constable Treble. “No! She’s scared and ashamed of it! She won’t tell us a god damn thing...We have to bargain with her now. Its the only way!”

“We?” Treble quickly retorted. “Oh no my friend, we are not bargaining anything...YOU are. Good luck, we’ll keep you updated. As for now, I think it best we give Subject Aleph a little privacy don’t you?”

The party quickly turned and exited the room. I remained, speechless and confused. Another quake shook the facility and I, half-heartedly, braced against the same table. Peering over to the monitors I saw shaky video footage of Vera lying curled up on the ground. Each breath looked laborious and exhausting. I waited a while longer, and, after some time, the shaking stopped.

 

Layers of stratus clouds made a thick shell around the earth. The light of the sun was mellowed and grayed, shifting through the sparse seams like water through the stones of a river. A certain, dewy mantle of apprehension seemed to hang over everyone’s head. The looming tower in the far Eastern sector had left many feeling uneasy for weeks. Ever since they corralled her into the damn thing. No one ever talked about it. Things were easier that way or, at least, that’s how it seemed.

I kicked the white dust up as I walked around the camp’s perimeter. The air still held the chill of morning in it. It was noon now. I left the facility shortly after Vera stopped screaming. It seemed wrong to leave her like that. However, I decided it was best to give her some time and space. After a meltdown like that it would be unwise to intrude. People often did crazy things when they knew their end was near. I’d hate to walk in there only to have Vera flatten me with her hand. No, she needed space. Maybe I’d see her a bit later.

For now, I would wander. I passed portions of the camp I’d never been to before. Most of it was just rows of green tents, old makeshift aluminum structures, and dilapidated militia posts. As I drew closer to the northern sector I saw a strange shape looming over the tilted tent posts. It consisted of a collection of overlapping, curved plates, faded by rust and accented by brilliant lines of verdigris. It looked strangely familiar.

Once I could see it in its entirety I realized that this was one of the outlying garages. A couple jeeps waited outsides its row of open doors with their guts spilled out over the dirt. My head swiveled about as I surveyed the garage and its immediate vicinity. It seemed completely abandoned. I grew curious. Where was everybody?

A barely audible creak snuck out of a cracked metal door. I approached. After pushing past some rolling carts laden down with battered tools of all kinds, I ducked down underneath the sliding metal door. Inside the garage was a myriad of other strange relics. Old drones, sentry guns, computers, and countless other devices which I’d never seen before all lined the tables, walls and floors. A dented metal capsule stuck out to in particular; so I decided to get a closer look. As I leaned in to inspect a row of faded black words imprinted on the sphere’s side a gruff voice from behind startled me.

“An old time capsule…”

I nearly jumped out of my shoes. Spinning around I found myself face to face with a squat man of medium build. A pair of grease speckled glasses hung loosely on the bridge of his fat nose. His black hair was slicked back down to the nape of his neck. He looked like he had just crawled out of an oil refinery. In his hands was a soaked rag which, despite his incessant scrubbing, failed to remove any of the excess filth from his skin.

“Sorry, I was just curious!” I quickly responded. “I’ve never been to this part of camp before.”

The stranger chuckled and tossed his rag aside. “Its alright, no need to get your panties in a knot. The name’s Zinc!” he roared with enthusiasm as he extended his right hand.

“Uhh Ellis,” I replied as I warily grasped his palm. He gave a hearty handshake, leaving behind a coat of oily grime on my fingers.

“Ahh, sorry about that...sometimes I think I bleed gasoline...ahaha! Anyway what can I do for ye?”

“Oh just curious, looking around is all. I needed to get some air.”

“Cooped up inside all day? You must be one of those officer types up at the main branch.”

“Well not exactly, I’m a consultant”

Zinc removed his glasses and wiped them on the sleeve of his white shirt. Once he was satisfied with their cleanliness he slipped them into his pocket.

“Consultant eh….Wait a second!”

Oh boy, here it was. Just what I needed, another person on this base to hate my guts.

“You’re that guy who’s been talkin’ to the big ‘un, right?”

Painfully, I nodded in affirmation. With what had been happening to me recently, I half expected him to immediately sock me in the face. But, when I looked back over to him he just nodded. His expression was difficult to read. He wasn’t angry, but he didn’t seem quite so excited as had been before.

“Well that’s something else. She tellin’ ya what you want to hear?”

“No, not exactly.”

“Shit man, I could never do something like that. I felt the damn earth shaking earlier. What happened? Did she give you that?”

Zinc pointed to my black eye. I quickly shook my head and drew in another long, painful breath. Unfortunately Vera’s handling left me with other lasting injuries.

“No, that was...a completely different incident. She’s just had some problems recently.”

“I can imagine as much. Bein’ trapped in there like that…” Zinc paused for a moment and took a seat on a stool which had been hidden beneath a torn tarp. As he leaned over I could hear his joints crack. He wasn’t particularly old, probably no more than 35, but he seemed to have aged beyond his mortal years.

“She’s not so bad. Honestly she’s not the one we need to be worrying about…”

As expected, Zinc stared back at me with skepticism.

“You sure about that? She seemed pretty dangerous when they brought here. Plus all that shakin’...well, lets just say I’m glad she’s in there and not out here.”

Well he wasn’t wrong. Vera even admitted that she wasn’t sure how far she’d go if freed. Nothing riled her up more though than knowing she was to die in captivity at the hands of humans. It drove her crazy. Perhaps it was best she did die. I wouldn’t feel right about it though. Gaaah, I was so indecisive and her recent outbursts were not helping me in the least.

“You alright there?”

Damn. Daydreaming again. My gaze shot back up off the ground to meet Zinc’s inquisitive expression.

“Yeah, sorry just...lost myself there for a moment.”

“Its alright man, it happens. So what’s it like in-”

Zinc was cut off by a loud beeping from a device hanging on his belt. With a flick of his wrist he snatched it off his person and inspected it. After flipping a few switches on it he turned back to me and said:

“Sorry, I have to go. Duty calls! But listen, I’d love to hear more about this, what do you say we meet up tonight? Central Mess?”

To be honest I didn’t want to do anything of the sort. However, I couldn’t help but feel pressured. After all, I needed to converse with people my own size every once in a while too! With a passive jerk of the head I nodded.

“Sure, what time?”

“Hell any time man, I’m there from eight till one, I’ll see ya there!”

And just like that he was gone; disappeared into the back somewhere, leaving me alone in the metal graveyard. Well, at least I was being more social. I got to my feet and started trudging back out to the bleak world outside. The stale air made me think of home. The gentle breeze made me think of my summers in Virginia. The vast stretch of clouds made me think of my time on the road in Missouri, and the ants I saw trailing in front of my shoe made me think of Vera.

Hours laters I was back at the monitoring facility. A long, shiny chrome table served as my temporary foot rest while I waited for the Constables to return. My attention was fixed on the surveillance footage along the wall. I could see Vera sitting with her back against the left side, just out of the path of the stream of water pouring from the massive spigot. She didn’t really do anything, she just sat there. Since my meeting with Zinc I had occupied my time exploring the rest of the camp where I was relieved to find that most all the non-military personnel had no idea who I was. When I finally did return everyone passing me gave a slight sneer. So it goes...

Luckily, none of that mattered now. For the time being I was content to sit back and wait. I observed my subject as best I could, but it's hard to perform any serious analysis when they don’t DO anything.

Finally, after some time, I could hear the orderly clatter of boots echoing down the hallway. Just in time too, my legs were starting to go numb. Pushing myself off the table, I wheeled around and waited for Treble and his retinue to round the corner. Much to my dismay, however, it was the the leering face of Constable Grim that appeared before me.

“You!” Grim bellowed through the doorway. The team behind him behind him looked peculiar. They lacked the usual dark blue uniforms and instead were dressed from head to toe in a dull grey. I had seen uniforms like this before...but where?
“Constable Grim!” I cried as I shot to my feet. There was an urge to salute, but I managed to keep my arm down.
“I ought to wring your neck right here, right now! You hear me?”

“Sir its not  my fault. The psychological trauma she’s endured has just-”

“Shut up or I’ll rip your goddamn tongue out of your mouth! ‘Psychological trauma’ baaah, you really think she gives a damn about you or anyone else? She’s a killing machine, that’s all she was, all she was ever meant to be!”

I’m not sure if it was my own continuous mental strain or the sinking sense of doubt that spurred my next action but all I can say for certain was that I was done with Grim’s bullshit.  

“NO! You’re wrong. You’ll see too! Don’t go interrupting my-”

“I’m what? We’ll see how tough you think you are when-”

“You’re the one putting this camp at risk, ‘Constable’!”

“That’s it you want to-”

The yelling continued. Neither of us could actually hear what the other was saying, we just kept amping our voice higher and higher. I took a step closer, then Grim took a step closer. The situation was escalating quickly and, had it not been for the frantic voice of Constable Mica, I am sure that Grim would’ve have wrestled me to the ground.

“Gentlemen what is the meaning of this?”

“You can’t protect him any longer Mica, he’s mine.”

“Go ahead, hit me! See if I care. I’ve been through worse!” I screamed back.

“Constable, Ellis, calm yourselves! This is a place of order!”

Grim slumped back and fell into line with the other assembled officers. The group glared at him. It would seem they had already sensed his incompetence but only now saw it first hand. Mica brushed himself off and turned back to me.

“As I said before, I can only protect you for so long…” he whispered to me. I gave a nod. My behavior was inexcusable, I was just glad Treble wasn’t here.

“As for you Constable Grim, I’ll be making a full report to Constable Treble by the end of the day!” as Mica barked at Grim his foggy eyes finally noticed the grey-clad troupe waiting in the hall. “And what is the meaning of this intrusion? Who are these men Constable?”

“Hmph, our new management!”
Mica looked flabbergasted. For a moment I thought he was going to faint. One of the grey figures stepped forward and held his hand out politely at his side.

“Well Constable Grim, you’re getting a little ahead of yourself. I am Lieutenant Colonel Corinth, Psyn Corps.”

That was it! These were Psyn Corps officers, I recognized them now from my brief interlude in their ranks. They were a tough bunch. To be honest they made me pretty nervous.

“What do you mean Psyn Corps? Taking over? Taking over what?” Mica continued.

“Come now” Corinth confidently replied. “You don’t honestly think that you all were able to build this place by yourself. By right and law this a Psyn Corps facility. We built the chamber and now we’re looking into acquiring the rest of this camp as well.”

Mica was speechless and I sensed that my purpose was elsewhere. Mica quickly tried to piece together a response but only managed to stumble over his words. In the meantime I took my opportunity to slip back down the hall toward the ground floor. Vera was calm now and I felt compelled to speak to her again. As I fled the scene the calm exchange between Mica and the Colonel grew more and more heated. Thank god I got out of there when I did.

The ground was wet again. The usual crack and hiss of the doors didn’t phase me. The warm wave of misty air did however. In spite of the heat, a fierce fit of shivering spread through my limbs. This was an innate fear. A deep evolutionary resistance to the pressures of those hungry things in the forest. A primordial inner awareness welled up inside my stomach. I was the prey going to face its own predator. A sapling ready to face the fury of a hurricane. I only hoped I’d remain standing after it was all said and done.

When I was finally in the main chamber again I found Vera had not moved. She remained in the same position she had been in for the last two hours. I assumed she heard me enter.

Initially I thought she was going to start crying again or perhaps turn away from me in shame. As soon as I stepped out onto the ledge of the outer rim her head shot up. Our eyes met and when I peered back into the dark abyss of her pupils I saw no fear, no pain, no anger. What lurked about inside was instead a strange medley of curiosity and disgust.

“Oh, you came back…” she said in a hushed tone.

“Yeah, I wanted to talk a little more...is that’s alright with you?”

The mask of aversion on her face melted away into one of concern. She rocked forward onto her knees, colliding with the streams of water that crashed down from overhead. Large trickles seeped down through her hair and across her face. Both hands slammed down onto the ground below. The resulting tremor set me sprawling off the ledge onto the floor five feet down. The ground shook more and when I managed to roll onto my back I found myself staring up at Vera’s mouth. She had lowered herself down onto her stomach and now lay directly in front of me with her chin resting on her folded hands. Initially almost wet myself, but when I looked up further into her eyes I saw that the dim light of sympathy had returned.

“Are you ok?” she muttered. I pushed myself back to put a little more space between the two of us.

“I should be asking you that…”

“I’m fine. Just...been in here too long, you know?”

“Yes of course. I’ve been hoping to talk to you about that!”

Vera’s eyelids fell. With a cynical squint she tilted her head forward.

“What, you got them to agree to release me? I doubt it…”

“No, well not exactly!”

“What is it then?” she grumbled. Oddly enough she seemed to have become more impatient in the last few hours. I guess when you begin to count down your final moments that’s not terribly atypical.

“Well, I don’t know if I should tell you…”

Now, before I continue, I would just like to say that what happened next taught me something that I think all men should understand. When you have a woman, especially one prone to outbursts, mood swings, or homicidal behavior, you should never, EVER, start to tell her something and then recant your statement. Somewhere between the the sight of Vera’s hand rearing back and the immense concussive force that vibrated through my body when it slammed down on top of me I learned that.

When I did open my eyes I was in complete darkness. Was this death? I didn’t feel dead...I still felt warm. I could tell I still sat just as I had before. My clothes were still soaked. There was even Vera’s familiar scent still lingering in the air. Suddenly, light flood back in through angled slits. The dark cover around me steadily began to lift.

Vera drew her hand back and she looked furious. This wasn’t going to be good.

“Ellis…” she began quietly.

“Yes…”

“I have two days to live. What is dying two days early? I don’t care if they gas me or not but you listen here...I have nothing left. So I think its in your best interest to tell me what you know. For your sake and mine. I’m sure you don’t want to die...and honestly I don’t want to kill you so if you don’t mind… JUST FUCKING TELL ME!”

The power of her voice left me deaf for about a minute. Vera apparently could tell and patiently waited for me to regain my senses. When I did, I noticed she had grown a little more relaxed.

Now I was faced with horrible dilemma. If I didn’t tell her, she would most likely hurt me. But, at the same time, if I did then I would surrender all of my bargaining power. Ughhh I was terrible at making decisions. I could try calling her bluff, I mean maybe she was just trying to scare me. Hmm, could I really risk it? What if I lied again?

“Ellis?”

I looked up back up at her. Vera leered down at me the same way one would their disobedient pet. My mouth was dry, I...I had nothing to say.

“Don’t make me do this Ellis…” she said. There was pleading in her voice; raw emotion that she tried to hide behind her angry eyes. Was she serious?

“Ok!” I found myself screaming. Amongst all the tension I failed to notice that I had twisted myself into a cowering posture with my arms locked down around my head. Like that would do me any good.

“Ellis, as odd as it may seem I do not want to hurt you, but I will not be denied, not anymore!” Vera went on.
“Ok, but...I wasn’t supposed to tell you this…”

“What?”

I cleared my throat, shuffled my legs, and averted my gaze. I could not bare to look up at her. The usual wave of hot exhalations stopped as she held her breath.

“Well, I did...manage to get us a few days.”

Vera suddenly released the airin her lungs all at once. The blast made me grimace. When I lifted my lids I found Vera face down with her forehead resting on her arms. Was she relieved? It was too soon to tell.

“Vera? Are you...ok?”

A long muffled groan followed.
“Vera, what’s wrong?”

A rumbling disrupted my thoughts and another groan chased after it.

“I don’t know if I believe you!” her dull voice droned.

“It is true! I swear it!”

“I’d like to believe you...but I don’t know if I should.”

“Why would I lie about this?”

Her head shot back up. Strands of hair danced about for a brief moment before falling back into place. I could see her teeth were clenched and a nervous sweat was beading up along her brow.

“To make me feel better. You want me to think I’ve got all the time in the world.”

“Its true! We don’t know when we’ll be able to…”

“Don’t know when to...when to what??”

“I mean, that’s not what I was trying to say-”

“You’re lying!” she started to roar.

“I’m not!” I managed to scream back at a volume just barely audible over her own.

Much to my chagrin Vera decided to get even closer.Using both hands she pulled herself toward me, lowering her head so that it hung directly overhead. The rest of her hair deposited itself around in a circular curtain, cutting off all avenues of escape and casting me in a darkened umber shadow.

“Why would they do that...It doesn’t make any sense…”

Once I expelled the lump in my throat I was able to respond. I leaned back until my shoulder blades just barely touched the wet ground beneath me.

“You’ve been very cooperative.” I managed to squeak out. The question now was whether or not I could be convincing under such pressure. The weight of my conscience and Vera’s own hardened resolve was slowly suffocating me. A lie was a lie. But then again who’s to say she hasn’t been lying to me this whole time. I know I certainly told my fair share.

The look in her eyes told me she wasn’t buying it. I needed to give her a line. A single thread of hope that she could tug on in the last failing days of her life.

“It may not seem it but they’ve actually been very pleased with you. The more you help us the longer you’ll have. They even considering letting you go!”

“Now I know you’re lying…”

“Vera, no listen, you don’t understand. We’ve just-”

“Also, what was that about not knowing when you’d be able to...able to what?”

Shit, she was catching on to all my little slips. I would need to respond quickly. It needed to be believable otherwise I was dead. God damn it I was not trained for this!
“Look the truth is…”

“Well?”

“The truth is that they can’t decide!” The awkward cadence of my answer made it obvious that I was lying. I didn’t even have to look at Vera to know that she was already trying to figure it out for herself. When I did meet her narrowed eyes again I could feel them burrowing into my very heart. Had it not been for the half scowl on her face I would have felt strangely calm. But no, instead my mind kept flipping between images of my own gruesome death and Vera’s arduous asphyxiation.

“You can’t kill me can you?”

“What?

“I can see it in your eyes…”

“You’re crazy!”

“Well Ellis, believe it or not while you’ve been studying me I’ve been watching you. I know when you’re scared and when you’re not. Usually your panic comes and goes, but it's been consistent today. There’s some immediate danger for you.”

“No, look I don’t know, they don’t tell me these things!”

“That’s it isn’t it? They can’t gas me?”

Without hesitation I got to my feet. I was going to need to stand my ground. Reverse all her assumptions, even if they were correct.

“So have I just been rotting away in here, waiting until they starve me then?”

“Vera, please you’re not making any sense…”

“You know they can’t save you now!”

“I’ve known that for a long time.”

At the time I thought it was all over. Vera would pluck me off the ground and hurl me against a wall. She would not tolerate liars, and I had just been caught in my own web of deceit. To her, whatever I was before was now gone. I was something else entirely. Like a broken mirror, showing only a few clear images loosely held together.

Vera smiled, but it was not a cold smile. No, it was real, and unnerving, and comforting, all at the same time.

“Does this change anything?” she cooed.

What was I to say? My hand shot to my chest in a futile attempt to ease it hasty rhythm.

“Not for me…”

The corners of her mouth spread further apart for a half second. She pushed herself off the ground and back up against the wall. Water crashed down all around her, leaving only the rushing torrents to banter with one another.

“Me either…” she finally said.

 

              Come to think of it, I hadn’t seen green fields in months. Not since I was last in Tennessee. I remember a small patch of land just outside of what was Nashville where the retreating caravans used to hide out at night. The September moon cast the leaves and grass in a pale greyscale. It wasn’t until morning that I saw the beautiful dew-covered groves for what they were. To be honest I don’t think I thought much of it at the time. I didn’t know just how bad it was going to be. None of us did.

        By the end of that particular trek all I could smell was cheap leather seats and cough syrup. All I could feel was the flecks of hair sticking to the back of my neck and arms after a shoddy haircut. I would never have thought I’d end up there. In a camp hundreds of miles from my home. Enemy of a few and friend to none. Sitting there, in that vast incomprehensible chamber with a murderer who apparently had enough respect for me that I didn’t need to fear for my life.

        Funny how those sorts of things turn out, isn’t it? Vera and I exchanged wave after wave of probing glances. Physically my perception of her was distorted. As if her proportions were magnified even further, cloaking her in a greater primordial girth. Like an old god come to rest on this mortal realm. Personally, however, she was smaller. Her size wasn’t always a singular dimension. Socially I felt more attuned to her just as, I hoped, she was to me. I wasn’t dead, that was something. Progress? Sure lets call it that. That’s what I would tell Treble and the others at least. It was about this time that I made another conclusion about Vera.

        You see, Vera, for all her apparent sadism and inhuman thirst for control, was not by any means as bad as some of the others. It made my job a lot easier. . She had no desire to end my life. Though I doubted it at times, I could almost sense it the first moments we looked at each other. Could I say the same for the others? Not likely. Just as I mentioned before, we shared an odd kinship based on…well…nothing. Nothing I could immediately understand at least.

        “You’re doing it again.”

        Vera’s words hit me like a freight train. I didn’t even process their meaning in my head, I simply looked back up and waited for her to continue. But, just as always, Vera grew annoyed with my prolonged silence.

        “Ellis? Have you gone mute or you just not paying attention to me?”

        Still I said nothing. Everything she said swept through my brain like a gas, passing over in a quick puff of smoke. Normally she would’ve gotten angry, but I guess she’d gotten tired of being angry. Vera just wanted to be happy again and I wasn’t helping.

        “Hmph, and here I was thinking I was hard to ignore.”

        The impish fire in her eyes returned. The movement of her legs that followed reminded me of a serpent. She twisted around, keeping her torso facing me. In one smooth movement she went from sitting against the wall to laying on her side parallel to it.

        “Maybe I need to try harder.” She said with a laugh. Still I sat frozen. I just watched her, that was it. Maybe those goons knocked my head around a bit harder than I thought. Nothing could process! It was like I had lost all mental faculties. The endless silence began to wear on Vera’s nerves. The whimsical glimmer that she tried ever so hard to keep burning was fading back into her usual impatient frustration.

        With one finger she reached out and simply poked me. It had the same force as a haymaker from a world-class boxer. Although it sent me sprawling back into another puddle it was just what I needed to snap out of my waking catatonia.

        When I picked myself back up I felt the force of Vera’s breath as she let out a long, bored sigh. Eyelashes fluttered and massive fingers drummed along the floor.

        “Sorry, I was…”

        “Thinking?” she quickly said.

        “No, I- I don’t know what I was doing.”

        One of Vera’s dark eyebrows arched up. Again I wanted to say more but she quickly changed the subject. Apparently it didn’t need any further explanation and that was fine by me.

        “Well anyway, Ellis, I’m curious…why can’t they kill me? Oh and why would they send you in here if they knew they wouldn’t be able to…what do they call it? Protect you?” Vera concluded with a slight laugh. It had the same tone of some evil arch-villain from a cheap Hollywood movie.

        “I…Look Vera, I never said they didn’t have the stuff. Ok, you’re taking everything out of-“

        “Don’t have the stuff? What stuff? The gas? Whatever its called…Hmm interesting.”

        “I never said anything about that.”

        “Sure you did, just now!”

There was such glee in her voice. She thought she was so smart. I had to hand it to her though, she was pretty good at manipulating me. It made me almost sick. I was beginning to wonder who exactly was being tested. Had I become the subject? Was this all some sick and twisted dream. No, I felt too calm for this to be a nightmare.

        “Vera, I-I don’t know what to say. I understand that you’re scared but…this is just the first stage of loss. You are in denial Vera!”

        Her eyes shut. The smile did not leave.

        “I’m not stupid Ellis. Don’t treat me like it. Besides, if I were you I wouldn’t try pulling my strings just yet. Not without your insurance.”

        “Vera-“

        “No! Don’t ‘Vera’ me. I want to know am I just stuck here for the rest of my short life then?”

        “NO! They will kill you and me if they see fit.”

        Vera’s lids fluttered open again. Her pupils dilated as she focused back down on my minuscule form.

        “So I guess we’re in this together then. What do you say to that little friend?”

        Wow. I just…wow. The soft delivery of her words completely fucked my mind up. That’s the best way I could put it. I was scared, and angry, and happy, and distraught all at once. It was a myriad of cathartic emotions the likes of which I had never experienced so closely before.

        “No…” was all I could say at first. “Not together. No matter what you call us Vera we are not on the same side and we will not be dealt with in the same way.”

        So long as I’m being forward with you I’ll go ahead and say I didn’t believe a word that came out of my mouth. I thought that maybe she’d buy it, or that it’d at least give her some doubts but she was far past that stage.

        “Hmmm, I’d say they already are.” Vera quipped. My head dropped. “You’re cute when you’re trying to be tough. But, like I said before…not that cute.”

        “Vera, I can only protect you for so long…”

        “Is that what you’ve been doing? Protecting me? Well I’ve got a secret to tell you.”

        She motioned for me to draw closer. When she saw I wasn’t moving she leaned in so close that my entire field of vision was taken up by her looming lips.

        “I don’t need you’re damn protection…” she whispered. Her accent was especially thick this time. It was as though she was slowly reverting back to her old self. The moment she first set foot on this good earth. The moment she first saw the works of the things she called insects and thought: ‘this will be fun’.

        When she did withdraw however, I did not see hate or fury in her expression. She just looked bored. There were so many things I should’ve said then, but for the life of me I could not remember what they were. Even now, after countless times reliving that moment in my head I can’t think of anything that would have been worth saying.

“You look so grim…” Vera went on.

“I am grim. Things have been...stressful.”

“So stressful that you can’t speak?”

“I can speak.” I retorted sharply. Vera was a bit taken aback by my asperity. Something that I kept bottled up inside suddenly lept from my tongue.

“Lets us talk then! Let us talk of worms and epitaphs!. For god’s sake let’s sit on the floor and tell sad stories about the deaths of kings!”

Vera regarded me with another curious glance. It would seem my words carried little weight with her.

“Don’t be like that. I don’t want to talk about such grim things.”

“What should we talk about then?”

“I don’t know...I don’t- Hmmm. I feel like everything this past month has been so grim. So much drama”

I waited for some time. It seemed necessary to test the air for lingering tension. Yet, in spite of my efforts, there was none to be found. A wide sweep of open ground was left between us.

“I thought you liked drama…”

“I like the right kind of drama.”

Again she spoke in riddles. It left me questioning my own abilities as always. Apparently it wasn’t enough that she should strip me of any physical sense of security she also had to make me feel dumb. Chances were, however, that all of this was nothing more than red herring. I was plunging down the rabbit hole further and further, lead by the hooks she snagged inside my brain.

“What should we talk about then?” I repeated. Vera shifted onto her back. The strange contortion of her body made it look terribly uncomfortable, but she seemed to be getting along just fine. Meanwhile her eyes swam along the ceiling in a faux rhythm of alacrity.

“Tell me about your personal life…” she finally said. At first I wasn’t sure if she was serious, but after a half-tilted glance in my direction I could see just how genuine her question was.

“That’s pretty open-ended. Is there anything specific you want to know?”

“I want hear it all…”

Another pause. Secretly I hoped she would continue on. Give me a few more moments to contemplate the gravity of her request and prepare a feasible answer. Unfortunately Vera’s follow up was brief and blunt.

“I want to know about your home. Your friends. How you got here…”

“Alright...well. Its not very interesting I can assure you of that…”

“I don’t care”

“I’d much rather hear about your-”

“Ellis” she said a bit louder, causing the walls to vibrate.

I couldn’t help but let out a protracted groan. My head dropped as I studied the stitching in my trousers. Strange shapes stained my legs after months of wear and tear. For some reason I got the urge to take off my shoes. As I began slipping them off I could feel Vera’s stark blue eyes boring into my skull. Eventually, when my feet were freed, I sat back and let out another long groan.

“I was born in Seneca County Ohio. When I was just five we moved to Ashland where I spent most of my life.”

Vera seemed to be feigning interest. Perhaps when I got to the more interesting bits of my life she’d perk up.

“I lived with my father and mother. I had two older siblings. Nathan, he was five years older, and Molly, she was two years older.”

“They here now?” Vera asked.

“No. My father died when a building collapsed on him.” It was surprisingly easy to say. But, even with some invisible hand guiding my speech I could not ignore the acidity in my throat. A burning sensation which felt psychosomatic in its origins. Long heaves of breath interrupted me, but I managed to effectively recover.

“Hmmm, our doing?”

“...Yes…”I hissed out between breaths. “It was after an initial attack. A second troop moved through. I-”

“Its fine” she said. When I looked back up at her she didn’t seem sympathetic, but she didn’t look satisfied either. That was something I guess. Being neutral.

“Mom died a few months later, from hypothermia”
“Hippo-what?”

“She...froze to death.” That came out like a rock. My knuckles turned white from gripping my shins too tightly. A nervous sweat ran down the back of my neck. What was I going to accomplish from all this? A thousand doubtful thoughts surrounded me. There was nothing I could do now but keeping going.

“Shame”

“Yeah”

“What about those other two. Whatever their names were.”
“I don’t know…”

“You don’t know?”

“Nope, its been years now since I last saw them.”

“Hmmmm” Vera eyes flicked back to the ceiling.

“What?”

“Oh nothing, go on. I want to hear more.”

Sincerity. It was there, and it was real. But even with all the sincerity in all the world I would not be able to shake the feeling that I was playing into another of her little games. I was tired of being manipulated. So tired that I was growing paranoid.

“After that I just sort of wandered around for a while. Finished my studies. Wound up here…”

“That’s it?”

“Nothing else you’d be interested in.”

Vera rolled her eyes at me. With another twist she rolled back onto her side and let her head lay on the floor.

“How long ago was all this?”

“Three years?”

“A lot can happen in three years.”

She wanted more. She always wanted more. Nothing would stop her prying. She could be distracted, maybe put off for a few days, but she would continue to press me about everything. I figured I might as well alleviate her perplexity.

“Tell you what.” I cried up at her. “We both seem pretty curious. So I’ll tell a story…”

“What kind of story?”

“Something that happened to me in the last three years. In exchange you have to tell one.”

“Any story?”

“We’ll keep to a theme.”

Vera furrowed her brow and waited for an explanation.

“Nevermind, why don’t you start?”

Her expression didn’t change this time. Finally, after a few more seconds of silence she brought her hand up toward me. The motion was striking. At first it made me uncomfortable but seeing such a titanic entity move with such organic fluidity, well...I can’t really express just how awe-inspiring it was.

The side of her hand made careful contact with the ground. The tremors didn’t stop there however. No sooner had it touched down that her palm and fingers began to curl around me. To my left, Vera’s bent pinky finger was sliding across the white stage. I didn’t know what the hell was going on but I knew that if I didn’t stand soon I was going to be steamrolled. I rolled up onto my feet and spun about to face her finger tip. In one swift motion I hurdled up over the wall of skin and clutched haphazardly onto her ring finger. Each digit was splayed out against each other make a sort of staircase. As her hand continued to close I found myself exerting more and more energy as I pulled myself up to her middle finger.

Finally the incline began to level out. What was once a steep ascent was now a curved, fleshy landing upon which I collapsed from exhaustion. The sway beneath told me that I was being moved. Where to was yet a mystery. There was some shuffling about on Vera’s part. A few times I was concerned that I was going to be flung back onto the solid ground, but Vera kept her hand steady. I stared at the lines in her palm as I waited. It was odd. As someone who knows about psychology it's easy to notice how different people are, especially when it came to personality. But, at some point in our evolutionary history there developed a trend in which the lines in our hands and feet became unique to each newborn. Why? Was there some selective pressure? It must have seemed trivial before but I couldn’t help wondering if anyone ever had a theory.

“There we are…” Vera’s voice boomed from above. More light crashed in as she pulled her fingers back. Gravity carried me forward. Before I could even blink I landed face first on her exposed skin. It was smooth enough. A bit slippery  from the water, but a reasonable perch. Rolling back over I saw that I had been placed on the front of Vera’s left shoulder. She now lay on her back in the center of the chamber with her knees jutting up in the air. The landscape of her body was immense and palatial. Horrified by my own helplessness and stupefied by the gesture’s subtle hints of tenderness, I couldn’t keep enough strength in my muscles to stop me from collapsing onto my back. The rush of water crashed down onto her stomach, soaking through her shirt and creating two rivers which rushed down to her flanks.

“You might want to pick your jaw up off the ground…” She whispered. Even at such a hushed tone the timbre reverberated through my skeleton.

“Sorry I just.”

“Relax” she said. “That’s what I’m doing.”

My instincts told me to just oblige; that it was best to go ahead lay down and stare up at the ceiling with her. But, my various weaknesses tempted me otherwise. Twisting my neck around I stared over at her face, which lay half shrouded behind a mat of hair. What parts of her I could see, such as her chin, the tip of her nose, forehead, and the ends of her eyelashes, seemed sharp. No, perfect. Like they were sculpted by Phidias for some temple lost to the annals of history.

“So, story?” I repeated.

Vera swallowed. The movement rocked me gently and inspired some gruesome thoughts. I traced the ungulation of her throat down to her chest which rose and fell in steady meter. Then there was shame. What for? I don’t know, it was just there.

“Don’t get too pushy now. You’re stuck in here with me, remember?”

I made no response. Instead, I just watched the watery serpents slither down in my direction. I felt the distant but ever present rise and fall of her breath.

“What about your family?”

“Family.”

“Yes, family.”

“It wasn’t a question, I heard you the first time.”

Perhaps I should just let her speak for now. I plopped back down onto her shoulder and waited. This time I was prepared to absorb every word as it vibrated down her throat up into my skin.

“I don’t have a family…”

Strange. Not unexpected, but strange.

“Well you had to have parents!”

“My father left after I was conceived.”

The crash of the water mingled with her words in a surreal manner. The force and violence of each would’ve made for an alarming concerto of pandemonium. Yet, for now it was calming. It left me feeling like an old Watteau composition placed between two narrow slits of sunlight. To anyone else it would have been a raging storm at sea but for now...for now I was content.

“Your mother?”

“Yes… I remember her. For a while at least. She had black hair. She smelled like dust.”

“For a while?”

“She left when I was young. I don’t know how old.”

“How old are you anyway?”

Initially I thought she would be angry or take offense to such a question. I felt her shuffle a bit. The slight movements were catastrophic, throwing me up into the air for a brief second.

“I don’t know.”

“What?”

“I mean- I guess it feels like maybe...what? Thirty years? Twenty five to thirty.”

“I could’ve guessed that.”

In the corner of my eye I could see her head rotate a few sparse degrees toward me. A hot breeze washed over me. Again I wanted to look back over at her, but I managed to shut those feeling away. I was getting good at that at least.

“Do you have anyone else?” I quickly followed.

“There’s never been anyone else. For any of us.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You won’t…”

“Not one other person?”

“Outside of a troop? Not really.”

Well that didn’t give me a lot to go off. My best chance now was to see if she was lying. How was I to do that?

“Is there anyone you...care about?”

Vera waited. Maybe she wanted me to just skip the question. Maybe she was actually thinking about it. I couldn’t be sure. I didn’t dare look back.

“Do you mean like love?”

“Sure, but it doesn’t have to be…”

“No…”

“Oh…So there’s no one at all?”

Vera shifted again. I noticed her breathing started to speed up. Each inhalation grew faster and faster.

“Nope.”

She was being terse and medial. I would have guessed that she was nervous but before I could follow up with another question she started to chuckle.

“What is it?”

“Nothing, I was just thinking about that word.”

“What word?”

“Love.”

“What about it?”

“Its funny. When I got here I found out, slowly, how you little things have all these different words for stuff like love and sadness.”

“Oh...yeah?”

She laughed again. I cautiously turned myself toward her. It wasn’t a malicious laugh but an easy, indifferent laugh filled with abashment. It was a laugh that confused and startled me.

“Do you have so many words for fear?”

“I’d say so.”

That sort of talk got me thinking. I thought about all the words people made up over the centuries and how many must’ve meant the same thing at first but have gradually found a niche. Words, were living things. They evolved and adapted. Being loved was not the same as being adored. Being scared was not the same as being petrified. Being happy was not the same as being elated. The more I thought about it the more I wanted to get up onto my feet. I thought about expectations and disappointment. Most of all, though, I thought about awe, and how I wished I had a hundred words for it now. But, all could think of was the way Vera’s chest rose and fell with every breath...and there are no words for that.

 

The sound of a light hand rapping on a door echoed in my ears. The sound seemed to tessellate with the steady roar of the falling water and the quiet murmur of Vera’s breath. Sleep had not been a luxury to me these past few days and the exhaustion in my muscles was starting to wear me down. Normally my mind would wander as it always did, but something kept me rooted in the moment. Both Vera and I seemed to appreciate the hushed instant. But, as becomes of all calm, it eventually broke.

“I don’t understand you.” Vera blurted out.

Carefully, I pulled my attention from the spray of water and readjusted myself so that I faced her chin.

“You don’t think like I do…”

Apparently that made her feel uncomfortable. Vera turned her head away from me and stared at the wall to her left.

“I know that.” she responded somewhat harshly.

A yellow hue drifted in around the corners of my field of vision. The sun had long passed its apex in the sky, and I, already weary from the day's proceedings, felt that I had accomplished all I could for today. I was certain Vera was tired as well.

“Well, it's getting late…”

“No its not” she quickly retorted.

“Well, ok I know but we’ve been talking for some time…”

“You want to leave?”

Hmmm, at that point it seemed she was reluctant to be alone again. She didn’t seem that interested in talking either. So what, was I just supposed to sit there in silence with her? I’d have to proceed cautiously.

“Well, I just thought it’d be good for both us to…”

“You’re not leaving.”

Damn. That made my heart skip a beat. What the hell did she want from me?

“Not yet at least-” she continued.

My first thought was to jump to my feet and protest, but I soon realized the opportunity at hand. Since I came back in, there seemed to be something kneading back through the folds of her mind. Something she wanted to get off her chest.

“Do you ever wish you could go back? To your home I mean.” I finally asked her. Vera’s head slowly turned back toward me. A layer of her brown hair lay over the lower half of her face. A few wandering strands danced in the air with each passing exhalation.

“No...well I didn’t. Now I could stand to go back.”

“What was your home like?”

“What do you mean what was it like?”

To be honest I wasn’t quite sure. As I mentioned previously their origins were...unfathomable? Nah, that wasn’t the word. Nothing I had learned made any sense. They speak our language and they understand certain social and cultural cues but...beyond that they are completely lost. They don’t claim to be from some other world but they seem completely lost in our own. They are simultaneously at home and alien to this earth.

“Well how about you start with where you are from? You speak English well…”

Though her face was partially shrouded I could see it scrunch up. Subtle bobs of her head were all that followed. At first I was going to ask her something else but I didn’t want to interrupt her thoughts.

“I’ve heard that before…”

“Heard what?”

“Aaang-lish?”

“Yeah, that’s...what we’re speaking right now”

Now her brow furrowed. Another long, drawn-out exhalation came soon afterward, finally blowing the last few locks of hair off her lips. She seemed utterly confused. For a moment I thought I could hear the metallic click of gears grinding out of her ears. My mind had become subject to such sensory delusions in the last few days. As a psychologist I found it concerning, but not something to dwell upon at the moment.

“This is Anglish?”

“Eeeng-lish” I repeated, making sure to accentuate the short ‘I’ sound in the beginning. “What do you call it?”

“We? We don’t call it anything, its just language.”

“Does everyone speak this from where you are from?”

Vera stopped. I saw her mouth move as though she were speaking but no words came out. Suddenly the water shut off. A horrible, distant rattling reverberated throughout the chamber as the pipes choked out their last few gushes of liquid.

“Most I guess. I never got around much…”

“Why not?”

“There was nowhere to go.”

This made me bite my lip. She wasn’t telling me much, but if I just continued to press forward I was certain I could squeeze more out of her.

“So how did you get here then?”

Beneath me Vera’s shoulder suddenly lurched upward. I, of course, lost my balance and ended up sprawled out in a puddle atop her skin. Another myriad of tumbling and movement left me dazed and confused. I distinctly remember sliding. Then, I felt myself crash down back into her palm. When I looked back up I saw her face hanging over me like the effigy of an ancient deity. Some lingering sense of terror tried to make me scream but I kept my nerves in check.

“You won’t quit will you?” she said with disappointment.

After brushing non-existent filth off my clothes I peered back up into her cerulean irises.

“No, that’s why I’m here, you know that.”

“So none of our conversations can ever just be...conversations? Is that it?”

“No! I never said that! But...its just that-!”

“No, no its fine. I know, it's your job” she said sarcastically. God damn she was difficult to please. Then again I suppose I knew that already.

“Why are you so reluctant to talk about it anyway?”

“Its none of your business!”

“Well how about this then. You answer just one more question about it, truthfully, and I won’t ask about it anymore. Sound good?”

Vera’s eyes drifted from me as she considered my proposal. All the while I watched her lips. Each second they opened and closed, rubbing past one another as she analyzed her options. About ten seconds later her eyes shot back to me.

“Alright, fine. Go ahead.”

As I look back on it now I know I chose the wrong question. In the moment however, the one I chose felt like the most important puzzle of them all.

“How did you get here, to this...area so to speak?”

A huge, hot wave of Vera’s breath slammed into me as she let out a weary sigh. The curtain of chestnut hanging from her head drooped down along the edges of her hand. Although there was plenty of open space I couldn’t help but feel myself getting claustrophobic.

“Before I tell you…” she began, face and voice saturated with solemnity. “you need to understand something...about us.”

In a futile attempt to hide my mounting elation, I crossed my legs and waited with a fake look of concern.

“We don’t trust anyone. Ever. Not even the person we fuck on a regular basis.”

I gave a quick nod, urging her to continue.

“I think by now you probably have some idea what it’s like there. Its...very different from here. Seeing all you little things living and working together. That’s just...really strange to us. I think that’s one of the reasons we think you’re all so weak.”

“Well I guess-”

“No, just, just be quiet for now. Let me finish”

An audible clap snapped out as I shut my jaw. Vera gave a slight shake of the head as she struggled to organize her thoughts.

“You won’t quite understand it all...the same way I don’t quite understand all of...this. But, even though most of us lived alone, word traveled around. Gurn, the one I told you about before, he lived not far from me. He told me some guy named Asphod had this...place.”

“Place? What kind of place?”

“I don’t know. He said you could become a god.”

“You believed him?”

“So many had, I guess I just got sick of the living the way I was.”

“How were you living?”

“Helpless. Day to day, nothing happening.”

Both of us fell silent. Vera was clearly plagued by some internal regret. I, on the other hand, was preoccupied with getting everything straight in my head. An internal knocking on the lower portions of my ribcage gave a tentative burst of intrigue to the situation.

“And now?” I asked.

“Now, well, I’m less than I was before.” Vera responded. Beneath the drab monotone I could sense anger, maybe even desperation.

“Could you describe this...place?”

Vera shut her eyes. Each breath became slower and weaker. From behind I could sense her fingers curling up toward me. A trembling started up in her hand. I tried to brace myself against something, but it was pointless.

“I don’t remember much about it. Only that it was underground somewhere. A cave, a shallow cave. I remember the air was cold and smelled like rotten leaves. There was a darkness. A surreal darkness. I’ve never seen anything so dark…”

“Ok ok!” I cried out. The further she went on the more her face twisted into a painful grimace.

Then, her eyes shot open again. The quivering pupils set inside those brilliant azure discs made me nearly collapse upon myself.

“Don’t pity me like that. I’m not to be pitied!” she grumbled.

“I’m not pitying anyone! Why do you not trust me? Have not pulled through for you before?”

She just stared back. She didn’t look particularly angry but behind her lips I could tell she was grinding her teeth together.

“So…what happened after that?”

“I woke up in a field. Everything was small and different. I didn’t know where I was but I knew others had been there before me. Gurn and the other two weren’t far from there. I was so lost that I just followed them for a few months. We did a lot of stuff to you little people…”

I would have hoped that she sounded more regretful when she mentioned that last bit. Unfortunately, I had come to the conclusion that her occasional friendliness was not all inclusive. Just because she wouldn’t harm me didn’t mean she’d treat other humans quite so well. In spite of this I believed her when she said just wanted to be left alone. She wasn’t aggressive like the others, but she could be just as violent.

“Why’d you decide to come?”

The glare that followed told me that I had best follow up on that promise I made. In a surrendering gesture I lifted my hands and let my chin drop to my chest.

“Sorry, no more questions. For now…”

Vera rested her chin on her other hand. As I watched the last few streams of water drip down her forehead I felt a vice of guilt begin to tighten around my midsection. Either that, or Vera had hurt me a lot worse than I thought. I began to consider life a crueler punishment for her. I was torn. From the way it sounds life had not been spectacular for her back home. Could death be merciful? I really began to doubt she would find peace anywhere on earth, and I doubted she would want to return to...wherever she’s from.

“Ellis.”

“Yes?”

“What will you do when this is all over?”

Hmm, another difficult question. To be honest I hadn’t thought that much about it, I’d been so wrapped up in the moment. Initially I assumed I’d just go where they needed me next, wherever that might be and for whatever purpose.

“I don’t know”

“No?”

“No. I mean...I’d like to go back East. I always liked it along the coast.”

Vera’s face scrunched up again. Now what was she so confused about? It began to wear on my patience. I know, that’s sounds a bit harsh, but you have to understand my knowledge of Vera’s origins was contingent on her being able to follow everything I was saying. Its just...well never mind its hard to explain, I just knew that it was.

“What’s wrong now?” I finally asked. Vera tilted her head to the side as though the answer to my question was found in the corner somewhere.

“Don’t you  hate it though?”
“Hate what?”

“Being their lackey all the time? Doing everything they say?”

“That’s just how it is. Everyone answers to someone else here.”

Vera smirked. But it wasn’t her newer, blander smirk. This was the same cruel smirk she wore when I first met her.  

“What?”

“Nothing, its just...you little people are so used to being bossed around by each other, but you break into a panic when someone else takes over.”

“We do when that usually involves the slaughter of thousands of innocent people!” I quickly retorted. I immediately winced afterward, sensing her wrath to be swift and merciless. Instead she just laughed.

“Sure, sure. Act like you weren’t all born for it...”

If this had been our first meeting I’d be scared shitless by such heartlessness. Luckily I had grown accustomed to Vera’s attitude. Now I was just annoyed with her. Had I not known the depths of the giants’ apathy for human life I’d have been angry too.

“Vera, you mean to say you don’t feel any more empathy for humans since...well me?”

Her smirk disappeared. Turning her head back to me, she looked back with severity in her gaze.

“There’s a big difference between an individual and an entire race…”

“I know but-”

“Would you honestly say most humans are like you?”

“Perhaps in some capacity-”

“Well, I know otherwise.”

Considering her current predicament, this grudge was not without justification, but still, I would’ve thought she made some leeway.

“Vera, if I am going to get you freed-”

“You’re not gonna free me Ellis, if you're lying to me its not convincing and if you honestly believe that, then you are more naive than I thought.”

We both paused.

“I’m sorry you feel that way.” I murmured up to her. I don’t think she heard me. “You look tired…”

“I am tired.”

“I’ll leave you then…”

“I wish you wouldn’t…”

“But I have to”

“I know”

Minutes later I was making my usual trek back down the hallway. It seemed far more empty now. It had gotten late and most of the base personnel retired to their homes, leaving the night overseers to keep watch. I had intended to pass the monitor room without even looking inside but no sooner had my frail frame passed the first door that a sinewy hand gently grabbed my arm. Instinctively I turned to face the intruder.

“Sir, if you’d please step inside.” an unfamiliar voice said. A thin man with light brown, neatly combed hair gestured for me to take a seat.

I obliged reluctantly. Once I had placed myself down in a chair I looked up and found a crescent of faces staring back at me. At least nine other uniformed men and women stood with their attention fixed on me. I saw a combination of colors amongst the crowd. Some wore the usual dark azure fabric of the Blue-Shirts. I saw a few patches of Psyn Corps grey. A dark violet jacket that I had seen in Camp November a year ago (an Althea Company officer no doubt). A few others with colors and patterns I did not yet recognize.

“Wha-” I began to stutter.

“Sir-” the same man who had stopped me said. “Its come to our attention that you have been making some...interesting discoveries as of late.”

“What? I mean, yes sure. Where is Constable Treble? I won’t say anymore without him here!”

“I already am, remain calm!” the familiar timbre of Treble’s voice echoed from the back. I slanted by body in the chair to catch of a glimpse of his tall, angled form waiting patiently along the far wall.

“What’s this about?” I blurted out. As of late, my own people were making more nervous than the giants. Weird huh?

“This is about progress, Ellis. Or should I say Gulliver?”

“What?”

“Oh they didn’t tell you? You finally have your agnomen. Good for you! Although, honestly I’m surprised they didn’t give you one sooner.”

“Who are you?”

“That’s not important Gulliver. What is important however, is your groundbreaking work.”

I couldn’t help but hear the subtle trace of sarcasm in his voice. Had I not be petrified from head to toe I might have slugged him in the face.

“Look-” he continued. “I’ll get right to the point. We at Camp Zulu, Camp Hotel, Center 2, Center 5, Camp Echo, and Camp November are very pleased with what you’ve been doing here. Believe it or not we learned a lot from that last little chat of yours.”

“You were-”

“Watching? Of course we were, but she’s not what I’m here to talk to you about.”

My teeth clenched together as I drew my gaze across the wall of bodies. It was like I was facing the jury at an execution hearing.

“Well what do you want?”

“Oh for god’s sake lets just get on with it. You’re torturing the poor boy!” Treble roared from the back. It was the first time I had ever heard him speak so roughly. The strange man held up his hand at a sharp, ninety-degree angle.

“Please Constable, everything is alright.”

Now that I think about it I really should’ve seen it coming. I had heard that this project was expanding, and it was only a matter of time that It’d catch up to me.

“Gulliver, we would like you to help...expand our operation…”

“What do you mean?”

“Training of course!” he quickly retorted. “You see, with the success of this first capture, the possibilities have seemingly become endless. New chambers are being built, new plans are being made, and, eventually, when more are captured we’ll need plenty of intelligent folk such as yourself to wring what we can out of them.”

A slight tremble walked down my spine. It somehow seemed horrific. I don’t know why, it just did.

“How are you so certain you’ll get more?” I asked. “I mean, just because you have one doesn’t mean-”

“Two.” A white haired man from the line of officers interrupted.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me-” he said in a deep, weary voice. “Two”

We locked eyes and waited. It was some ridiculous test of will. A staring contest with no intended winner.

“That brings me to my second point actually.” The brown-haired man went on. “You’re being temporarily reassigned.”

“What? How? Where?”

“Gulliver, please, this is a big step in your career.”

“What exactly am I-”

“Just, follow me. I’ll explain everything along the way.”

 

Rain. It pattered along the dusty windows as I exited the monitoring facility. The air outside was muggy and humid. The distinct scent of stratus clouds wafted through the air and danced with the dust devils that traced along the edge of the main road. It was nice to finally be getting some kind of precipitation. After weeks of nothing but intense solar heat and the occasional cold snap, my skin seemed to loosen at the slightest sign of moisture.

I didn’t really get to enjoy it though. An enormous weight bore down on my ribcage. My mind was trapped between two layers of glass, beyond which two dark faces stared into my head. The sudden paranoid sense that I was being watched took control. Whilst I walked toward the Central Mess hall, my head swiveled about, probing at the people passing me along the way. Any one of them could be a spy. Another agent of the paramilitary complex that had recently revealed a keen interest in me. As you might imagine I was...overwhelmed.

The strange officer who had briefed me (who I later found out to be named Censor) told me quite a lot. Apparently Camp Echo had acquired a new guest. That’s right, another of the giants had fallen prey to their vicious tricks. I didn’t know many of the specifics, only that I was to interview them just as I had Vera.

A loud whirring noise caught my attention as I passed the cargo depots. A huge, black helicopter had roared to life. Waves of dirt washed against me as I passed the landing pad. We didn’t get much air traffic here so it definitely got my attention.

The hulking metal shell lifted itself into the air. The tinted windows shrouded its occupants. For some reason all I could think about was the first raid on my home town. I guess it reminded me of the air raid sirens. The horrible tremors that kept me hiding in my basement. The smoke and the ash.

A passing stranger bumped into me, breaking my train of thought. When I looked back up to the ascending aircraft I saw that it now hovered fifty feet overhead. Somehow I knew it was time to go. I couldn’t linger much longer.

On the rest of my journey I went over what little information had been given to me about my new assignment. All the details were arranged in a list in my head. That was always just the easiest way for me. Alright, what was it now?

1. The subject was a female, approximately 570 feet tall. Age unknown.

2. Subject was captured by a Psyn Corps team using the same “drug and tug” method as Vera.

3. She is currently being held at Capsule B281C at Camp Echo.

4. Subject expressed aggressive violent behavior towards operatives before and after capture.

5. Subject has been given the designator: “Bet”

Easy right?

Finally, after what seemed liked hours, I reached Central Mess. I hadn’t even thought about the social proceedings that were to happen that night, I was so...well you know.

Inside the fluorescent lights hummed with their usual vigor. The same crew of cooks waited idly behind the counter. The tables were occupied by any number of mildly familiar faces. Masks of those who I had seen come and go, but whose names remained unknown to me. A crowd of phantoms who I couldn’t help but feel responsible for, even if I would never know even one of them. It was then I saw the greasy hand waving above their heads.

“Over here boy!” Zinc’s slightly inebriated voice echoed out over the drone of the crowd. Without even looking at them I sauntered over and took a seat across from the dirty mechanic. Although he seemed nice enough, I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable around him. Don’t get me wrong he appeared genuine but...still there was just this gut feeling I had.

“Ellis, glad you could make it!” Zinc roared. There were two other men sitting with him. Judging by their smell and appearance they too were mechanics.

“Well, I could really use the break…”

“I’m sure you do! This here is Spark-” Zinc pointed to the bearded man on his left. Spark gave me a quick nod. “And this here is ol’ Rubber”

“Rubber?” I asked. The spindly, emaciated man on Zinc’s right nodded and shot me a dirty look.

“Ahaha, oh classic Rubber. Sorry there Ellis, hope you don’t mind we got started here without ye”

The yeasty scent in his breath was strong. I would’ve guessed they’d gone through a few pints already. Judging by the demeanors they had a little bit of every drunkard in them. Spark seemed sleepy and distant. Rubber, moody and nauseous. Lastly Zinc was thrilled about...well seemingly everything.

“Ahh before I forget, I heard about you gettin’ your agnomen! That’s great!”

“Oh, Gulliver, yeah...not too thrilled about it myself”

“Wha- Gulliver? No I’m talkin’ about Jung.”

This was news to me. I hadn’t heard anything about the name Jung.

“What are you talking about some guy-”

“Yeah, that’s what everyone’s been callin’ ya. Jung! Not sure I get it much”

Shortly thereafter I fell silent. My thumbs tapped incessantly on the backs of my hands as I contemplated what all of this meant. Honestly, I was never interested in getting an agnomen. My own name it was...special. It was the last bit of the old world I had left; the only real connection I had to my former life. I didn’t want to be Jung, or Gulliver, or whatever else people called me.

“You’re right he is a quiet one!” Rubber grumbled.

“Sorry I’ve just had a long day.”

“You mind telling us what all that earth shaking was earlier?” asked Spark.

“Well Vera had-”

“Wha- who the hell is Vera?”

“And what’s all this about-”

Zinc slapped his hands on his friend’s shoulders. “Now boys, don’t be so hard on the poor boy, he’s got a tough job here”

This was about as awkward as I had expected it to be.

“Now then, one question at a time. So, Jung, tell us about the bitch…”

The night slogged on and I had lost my appetite. I told the three of them what little I thought was acceptable to reveal. Zinc loved every second of it. The others, however, kept their eyes trained on me warily. They made me nervous. A few times on my way back to my tent I felt like I was being followed. Each time I looked behind me I half expected Rubber to be trailing me a hundred feet back. No one was ever there though.

When I did get back it was late. The rain had mostly passed, leaving the ground soggy, the air thick, and the sky overcast in a shroud of darkness. Only a few moonrays escaped the layer of stratus clouds, giving me just enough light to stumble into my tent.

After flipping on my lantern and changing out of my sweaty clothes I collapsed into my desk chair. Curiously the cold from this morning had long since given way to the humidity. It was then I contemplated my future. I thought about the pressure; about the horrible prospects of death. I thought about what might happen to Vera and what might happen with this new subject. The hand of authority had thrust itself down my throat and now held my lungs in its grip. Then, I thought about what Cyan said to me the first time I met her:

“Stress is your greatest enemy right now. If you keep yourself relaxed you’ll be much better off. Got it?”

I agreed at the time but after these last few days I couldn’t help but feel that the stress was honing my skills. The sheer anxiety kept me alert. I was always guessing, probing, and approaching things from different angles. Then again, I don’t think any of it got me anywhere. I had learned a few things, but mostly I had just opened a can of worms. Newer, more confusing questions had been raised. Vera was at the center of it all. It didn’t help that my own personal opinion of her was thrown completely out of whack. One minuted I hated her, the next I really liked her. What really bothered me though was that of everyone, she seemed the most genuine. Ok maybe that wasn’t true...but it sure felt that way sometimes.

That got me thinking about a lot of other stuff. This “Subject Bet”. What would she be like? She’s apparently very dangerous, could she possibly be reasoned with the same way I had Vera? Who’s to say I wouldn’t get crushed as soon as she saw me enter?

Then my mind switched back to Vera. God, how was I gonna tell her? As of now I had a feeling our little meetings were the only things keeping her together. It would be tougher from here on out. That much was certain.

The next morning I wasted no time getting back to the main facility. I hardly slept. Barely ate. Visions of a dust storm danced in front of my eyes throughout the early hours of the day. Around ten-thirty I headed over to the mass of grey boxes at the center of camp. I didn’t exchange a word with anyone as I entered. People barely looked at me. It was as though I was completely wiped from their memory. But, oddly enough, no one stopped me. I passed the monitor room without even so much as a glance inside and made my way down to the atrium.

The guards there left the room as soon as I entered. Was I being reckless? Sure. I mean, for all I knew I was going in blind. It didn’t matter though, I hadn’t planned to stay long.

When I stepped out into the main chamber a persisting sense of timidness overtook me. My eyes swept out to each corner, expecting to see Vera sprawled out across the floor as she always was. Surprisingly she was not there. Instead I saw only two massive forms leading up. Her legs stretched up into the air like two redwood trucks. I followed the curves of her legs with my eyes, continually craning my neck back as I peered up to see her standing above. Vera erected herself in a contrapposto stance, not unlike that of some Classical Age statue.

It was like I was seeing her for the first time all over again. It was a terrifying experience. Looking up at a figure who far outmatched any living thing in size and grandeur. As desperate as I was I couldn’t move. Petrified in place I just watched her.

Apparently she hadn’t noticed me. She stood, cocked to one side, with her head tilted. Her hair lay over her right shoulder, where she combed through it with her fingers. Minutes passed. Eventually she turned around, leaving her back to me. Vera stretched her arms, rolled her neck, and leaned over to touch her toes. All the while I just...waited. Suddenly the crackle of radio static boomed down from ceiling.

“Ellis you cannot be in there!” the voice echoed. For some reason I could make out the statement with much greater clarity.

Vera’s head spun around in an open display of confusion. Slowly she turned, this time with her gaze fixed on the ground. Luckily my dark clothing contrasted with the white floor and she was easily able to spot me. Her brow furrowed and she lowered herself down into a crouch.

“What are you doing here?”

The force of her voice was far greater than usual. I suppose it never occurred to me until then that Vera purposely lowered the volume of her speech. It was the first instance where I was truly and irrevocably shocked by her consideration.

I said something in reply. I don’t remember what but it was fast and choppy. Vera couldn’t hear a word I said. She rolled her eyes and got down onto her knees. She leaned in closer so that her face was all that I could see.

“Care to run that by me again?” she whispered.

A convocation of images whirled about inside my head. There was so much I needed to say and I, being the social paragon that I was, couldn’t muster up a single word. I stared back into the mask of a god. One whose wrath would be spared on very few should she be freed. Here I was, the agent of her survival, at the precipice of my mortality. It was a moment when neither of us thought about death though. For once we were both unconcerned about our actual physical well-being. Everything hinged on our emotional standing with one another. It was strange and it was beautiful. It was like staring into a nebula as you hurtle helplessly through space. I could only say one thing:

“I’m leaving”

Vera didn’t respond. She just looked down on me with a completely neutral expression. Could it be possible she didn't care?
“What do you mean?”

“I’m...leaving the camp. For a while.”

That’s when I saw the flash of terror in her eyes.

“Leaving” she repeated.

“I have a new assignment. I just thought I should tell you before I go. I won’t be gone for too long.”

“How long?”

“I don’t know, just a few days.”

“Shit…” Vera turned from me. She lay both hands on the ground and stretched her legs out until the hit the far left wall. After easing herself onto the ground she closed her eyes.

“What is it?”

“They’ll kill me.”

“But I told you they don’t-”

“I know!” she spat. The walls trembled and I felt my knees buckle in the wake of such an angry outburst. “When will they get it though? You said you didn’t know”

“I don’t, but I told them expressly that you wouldn’t be harmed until-”

“Until? Until what? Until you say so?”

“Vera you know that’s not how it is…” I quickly replied. Any sane person would’ve given her some space. Her muscles twitched beneath the stretches of her skin. I, however, decided to get closer. I walked along the outer edge toward her head. Vera’s temple rested against the wall, meaning that her eye aligned with me as I drew closer.

My heart skipped a beat when it fluttered open once again. In a less than a second her pupil fixated on me. I stopped.

“Don’t think I’m groveling…”

“I don’t! Please Vera you have to understand…”

“What’s the ‘assignment’ anyway?” she asked in a voice laden with false apathy.

Anxiously I shifted my weight from side to side. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure if I was allowed to tell her what I was up to. Would it really matter anyway? There wasn’t much she could do about it. That’s when I first had the idea. Ever hear of prisoner’s dilemma? Its a delightfully cruel little trick, but...well it could work. I needed to stray from the hand of psychology and use game theory to gain the upper hand. Though I wouldn’t have admitted it at the time, up to that point I was really not in control during our sessions. Vera manipulated me as much as I manipulated her. The only real difference was that she was somehow better at it.

“I’ve got, to assess someone else…”

Vera head pitched forward slightly. A sly smile waited for me fifty feet to my left, along with a pair of squinted but concerned eyes.

“They got another of us didn’t they?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“You’re not sorry.”

“No, I’m not”

“Don’t be so nervous...” she said with a chuckle. One of her massive fingers crept up over the edge towards me. For a moment I thought she was going to knock me down, but just as her fingertip was about to collide with me it stopped. I flinched and Vera giggled again.

“... I don’t care”

“Really, you’re not jealous?” I asked coyly. Sure, it was a weak attempt at reestablishing my social fortitude but I needed to seem confident! Vera didn’t buy it.

“Do you really take me for the jealous type?”

“I wouldn’t put it past you.”

A scowl flashed across her face but quickly gave way to her usual hungry smirk. Our eyes remained locked in one of our routine staring contests. As you might imagine I lost. The brilliant blue contrasting with the black of her pupils always made my head spin. I looked away, just in time to see her finger snaking around behind me.

“Now, now Ellis that’s not very fair.”

“You won’t be harmed while I’m away I promise!”

“I suppose I have to believe you...who is it?”

“What?”

“Who is this other person you are going to interview.”

“I don’t know her name.”

“So it’s a her then?”

Despite the act, I could tell Vera was in fact jealous. At least, that’s the way it seemed. Could it have been concern? Was she actually worried about me? She was difficult to read. I swallowed hard and eased back a few steps. Perhaps it was best to get going.

“Yes” was all I could say. Unfortunately for me it was not enough to sway Vera’s predatory gaze. Just as I tried to navigate around her finger, three more slid up from the floor below. A crescent shaped wall of skin now surrounded my back. Frozen, I stood waiting for Vera’s judgment.

“What if I didn’t let you go?”

“Vera…”

“Just think about it. What if I kept you here? You couldn’t escape could you? Not if I did it well. And what are they gonna do about it, huh? Kill me? They’ll do that anyway.”

Any idiot could tell what was coming. I broke from our exchange and lept into a full sprint. Yes, it was foolish to think I could run to safety but I had no other options. First I ran to my right, hoping to circumvent her grasp. But, as I tried to round the edge of her fingers she simply slid them a bit to the side. Immediately I collided with the pad of her pinky. Though I reeled I somehow managed to keep my footing. Just as I was about to attempt another route her fingers began to clench in a uniform wave of musculature closing in around me.

Backing up further and further until I had only a three foot radius of free space in any given direction, I waited. My arms instinctively wrapped around my head as I crouched down into a tiny ball. Through my eyelids I saw an encroaching violet. Then, bright red flooded in.

The horrible two-pronged pressure of Vera’s fingers slammed down on either side of me. I gasped a horrible, long, wretched wheeze as the air fled my lungs. My eyes shot open just in time to see the white floor beneath me fade off into the distance. A shooting pain made my neck grow numb. My arms creaked and my legs twitched. Then I fell. And I fell and I fell and I fell. Given the fact that I didn’t die I mustn’t have fallen more than five to ten feet but it felt like I was suspended in the air for much longer.

I do remember crying out in pain. I remember saying something very rude as I did. What it was exactly escapes me now but it was enough to warrant another nasty look from Vera.

So it was that I found myself lying in a puddle of pain in Vera’s palm...again. I rolled around for a little while, giving Vera enough time to reposition herself. Finally, she sat cross-legged in the center of the chamber with her hand held at chest level.

“You were saying?” she whispered. At first I couldn’t tell if she was angry or if she was just toying with me again.

“I-huh-I...You can’t….do this”

Each breath was laborsome. The injuries she had given me yesterday were refreshed and I, for a good while, feared that my bones had been shattered. After a quick assessment of my limbs and joints I found that I could move them all...painfully.

Vera emitted another little laugh as she watched me squirm.

“It would seem I can do this Ellis.”

She thought this was a game. I had to show her otherwise. I had to get serious.

“Vera, no!” I screamed as I pushed myself onto my side. “I know you’re scared. I am too. But you can’t keep me here. This is serious. This is my life and I won’t have you telling me what to do!”

First her smile faded. Then, her eyes drooped back into a neutral glare. The slight twitch in her eyebrow returned for a brief second.

“You mean like how all those other little people tell you what to do?”

“Vera this is different.”

“How?”

“They...its my job. I go where I’m wanted!”

“You’re wanted here…”

“You know that’s-That’s not what I mean!”

Each time I said something she countered. It was a losing battle, but it needed to be fought nonetheless.

“How do I know you will come back?”

“I promise.”

“You’ve promised a lot of things Ellis.”

I paused. What could I do? How could I compromise her position? What would make her falter? It all came down to one thing: power. I needed her to feel weaker.

“What is this about Vera? Could this mean you care about someone other than yourself?”

Instantly her fingers shot up. I winced and rolled back into my ball. Luckily I was not crushed. When I looked back over to her I saw she was wracked with rage. Even her hand shook. A series of pulsing muscles in her face betrayed the raw emotion she tried so desperately to shut away.

“You know I care. That’s not new…” she managed to growl.

“I know Vera. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“You don’t know”

“No…I suppose I don’t.”

“I don’t know what you expect to learn”

Truth be told, by that point I didn’t either. Here we were, at another door. Another precipice that would dictate our interactions from now till the moment when we parted for the last time. All I could think about was how her lips shook when she was mad.

“Vera, you don’t know either. It may be hard for you to understand but...I have to go. This isn’t a game, this isn’t a lie. Its a fact.”

She waited. All of a sudden her eyes began to blink rapidly.

“Do you want to fight facts Vera?”

“No, I’m...tired.”

“Of fighting?”

“Yes”

“Then you have to let me go. Don’t fight me anymore! Please!”

We both fell silent. She lowered her hand as gently as possible until it was level with the outer platform. Without ever taking my eyes off of her I stepped back until I was on the solid white surface. As soon as I was clear she retracted her hand.

“Get out…” she whispered so quietly that even I almost didn’t hear. I gave her a nod, said something under my breath, and left.

When I was finally clear of the room I collapsed. Fatigue chained me to the floor. With some effort I pushed myself against the wall and waited. A few minutes later the guards found me. Did they say something to me? Something reassuring? A hint of fear? Of anger or frustration? No. Not one. Not a word.

 

It seems a universal fact that tragedy brings people together. In war, communities survive or fall based on the unity of its people. A stint of horror will always drive people into the comfort of numbers. It usually works right? History has taught us that. Let’s look back. Famine, check. Disease, sure. Natural Disasters, of course. War, hell yeah. But...something was different about this war. Maybe it's because this wasn’t a traditional conflict. Maybe it was the fear. Our foes could not be reasoned with like other humans. They enjoyed the conflict. They thrived in it. We could not negotiate because conflict was what they wanted. So, did we join together? Form a conglomeration to stop the tide of death and destruction. No. We fled. We hid away in the dark places of the world and only when our once great civilization was wiped away did we crawl back from the shadows.

Now people complain that we should’ve done more. They are right of course, but it doesn’t excuse the fact that there simply isn’t anything more to be done. Nations rise and fall, that’s the course of history, but people always endure. Its a different game now. That’s all I could think about on my way down the cracked road.

On either side of the vehicle I could see lines of trees whirring past me. They were tall, green, and full of life. Each cast its shadow in a single conjoined blanket. They did it so passively. They did it because that is simply one of the many things trees do. It got me thinking about human nature. Whether all those times in the past were simply us fighting our true nature. Now that we stood on the brink of annihilation we barely held together. Camps lost occupants everyday. People were just too scared, and with good reason.

“We’ll be there relatively soon, hang tight back there!” a young voice from the front seat called to me. I sat with my head leaned against the window. The movements of the car jostled me in every imaginable direction. The road was filled with potholes and jagged bumps, which, after hours of travel, had induced a wretched state of nausea.

The driver was a young man, probably no more than nineteen, with dusty blonde hair and and terribly maintained patch of whiskers on his chin. The boy’s name was Blake. I had to say, it was nice to meet another person without an agnomen. It made him seem far less exceptional, which was perfectly fine with me.

To my left, leaning against the other side of the car was the older officer who had first told me about the second subject. He had short white hair slicked back with a thick, odorous gel. A neatly trimmed beard covered the rest of his stern face. If I had to guess, I’d say he was somehow related to Constable Grim, but it was unlikely.

“Constable Silver…” I began, “When would you like me to begin my inquiry?”

The old man said nothing. To be honest, I had only asked to break the unbearable silence. For the first few hours of the trip the Constable bombarded me with information and orders. He practically recited the Camp Echo Code of Conduct from memory. During that time he had not allowed me to speak. The whole ordeal was socially and emotionally castrating. Now that the travel time was rounding out at about six hours I was about ready to go mad. Just as I was about to turn my attention back to the passing wilderness outside the beastial voice of Constable Silver echoed out over the crumbling treads.

“You will begin immediately.”

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. I had hoped to get a little more information about the new subject first. Sure, I was thrown into the gauntlet when I arrived at Camp Juliet but I had been given some time to settle in. Without a moment to collect my thoughts and organize my approach it would be a disaster! Besides, I had learned a good bit about dealing with the giants since I started interviewing Vera.

“Sir, don’t you think it would be wise for me to observe her first? You did say she was pretty aggressive after all.”

“I thought you were a professional.” he spat back at me.

“I am its just...Vera had time to adjust to her-”

“Who?”

“Sorry, subject Aleph”

“Bah, I was told you were pretty chummy with her.”

“Sir, that’s just how it works, they need to feel comfortable around-”

“Comfort? Listen here kid…” Silver leaned in. He lifted his left index finger and pointed it threateningly at me. I saw patches of scar tissue running back across his fingers down into his sleeve. “I don’t give a damn about her comfort. Quite frankly I don’t see the point of all this, but those Psyn Corps bastards insisted upon it. So go in, play your little mind games, but don’t expect to get any help from me.”

After his tirade I kept my mouth shut. Luckily the drive didn’t last much longer. Another ten minutes weaving through the forest and the shimmer of a lake flashed into view. The vast expanse of water stretched out into the North. I hadn’t seen so much water in...god probably a year. For some reason it really excited me. I was so wrapped up in the moment that I forgot all about my purpose being there. Like a child at a zoo, I pressed my hands against the glass as we mounted a concrete bridge spanning one of the lake’s many arms. That’s when I saw it. Amid the harsh reflections of the midday sun an enormous tower loomed over the hills, trees, and water alike. This one was much narrower than the one in Camp Juliet. The walls were practically opaque, and atop it sat an obtuse network of pipes and pumps that emitted a collection of white steam clouds.

“There she is. Impressive ain’t it?” Blake chimed. As he turned back to gauge our reactions Constable Silver scolded him:

“Keep your eyes on the road boy. The giants haven’t gotten me yet and I’m not about to let a reckless kid do me in.”

Poor Blake sheepishly turned back around.

We wound around ridges. Rolled up and down a pair of weathered hills, before finally we reached a long chain link fence with a coil of barbed wire sitting on top. The car squeaked to an abrupt stop at a sliding gate. At least a dozen warning signs hung from the two wooden towers sitting on either side of portico. Simple but grisly pictures of fleeing figures being gunned down from above shined with great intensity amidst the summer rays.

After chatting with one of the guards, Blake rolled his window back up and motored on through. I briefly looked back to watch the other three vehicles in our convoy follow close behind. The roads became smoother but louder. The crumbling asphalt was replaced with layers of heavy gravel which sprayed up like water in the wake of our vehicle’s tires. Another few minutes went by before we saw the first tent.

At first the pavilions were sparse and scattered but as we drew closer to the lake’s edge, the layers of vermilion canvas grew denser. It appeared to be organized very similarly to Camp Juliet, though the largest tents and ramshackle depots were parked along the waterfront where dozens of floating docks bobbed up and down in the calm current.

In spite of the luscious forest surroundings, the camp looked just as emaciated as Juliet. Across the lake I could see huge chunks of the mountains torn asunder. Hundreds of fallen trees lay in a heap along the far shore’s edge. Further into the lake’s center, a fleet of small boats seemed to shepherd the floating logs into more manageable chunks. There had definitely been giant activity here.

We took a sharp turn, which cut off my view of the lake with a curtain of white tent flaps. I turned back around in my seat and caught Silver’s restrained scowl. Immediately, I turned back to look out the window. As luck would have it, the first thing I saw was the mortuary tent. Great, that’s just what I needed to see, a pile of bodies wrapped hastily in trash bags. I averted my gaze and felt a noxious sick feeling roiling up in my abdomen.

A little ways further we stopped. These buildings, which I assumed to be the central command facilities, were far older than those I’d seen in Juliet. Yet, in spite of that they were far less drab. Huge slanted roofs sat atop walls in which enormous tinted windows were carved. They looked to have been reappropriated lake houses. But, don’t get me wrong they most definitely were not homey. Troops of militia men waited outside. Heavy artillery batteries sat around stacks of sandbags and poorly dug trenches. It looked much more like a warzone than a vacation spot, but then again they had just been attacked.

“Alright, everyone out. Elli- I mean, Gulliver, you’re to follow me.” Silver said.

“Yes sir, and sir…”

“What is it?”

“You can just call me Ellis”

To that Silver did not reply. Instead the three of us exited the vehicle and made for the wooden stairway leading up to the building on the far left. As I ascended each plank I felt my soul drop further from my body. It was like I could hear the distant strings of a piano being plucked to create some executioner’s tune. Waiting for us at the top of the steps was another officer with an armed attendant at either side. Judging by the ribbons just above his coat pocket I assumed he was another Constable.

“Silver, good to see you have returned with our newest family member.” the stranger bellowed down to us. He was a large man, with broad shoulders and an even broader gut. It looked as though he was losing is hair and his face was an unreal shade of red.

“Constable Speck, may I introduce you to Gulliver.” Silver replied with little enthusiasm. I gave the Constable a polite nod as I finally reached the main deck. The seemingly boisterous man held out a meaty hand which I grabbed in a feigning handshake. For a second I was afraid he was going to pull my arm out of my socket, but just as quickly as he grasped my palm he released it again.

“Good to meet ya my boy. I’ve heard a good bit about you now. I expect great things!”

“Thank you sir, I hope I can help.”

“If you two are done, we’ve got work to do.” Constable Silver grumbled. Afterward, he disappeared into the buildings interior. Speck leaned in a bit closer to me and said:

“Don’t mind him none. He lost his son a few days ago. I promise he’s not always so rough. He just wants the bitch dead. We all sort of do, but Cinna said-”

“Cinna?”

“Thaaaaat’s right.” a chipper voice echoed out from above. We all craned our necks up and saw a figure with a drape of greyed hair leaning over the second story balcony. I immediately recognized the man and my muscles tensed.

“Cinna, I thought I told you wait down by capsule!” Speck yelled back up at him.

“What, and miss out on our conquering hero’s arrival? Besides we go way back. Well a few days I guess. Ha!”

How could it be I was already exhausted with him? Cinna had that sort of personality. I don’t think I can really do him justice here. I guess the best way to really describe him would be...indifferent? Yeah, that sounds about right. He was one of the few people I’ve met in my lifetime that seemed to legitimately not care what happened to him.

“Good to see you again lad! You ready?”

“I suppose.”

“Alright, well you get on in here. Boy do I have a story to tell you!”

Just like that I walked in. There was a formal introduction with some of the higher camp personnel. A short and intensely boring briefing soon followed. All the while Cinna, who sat on the table directly behind me, kept nudging me and making wisecracks. To be honest, I was surprised with how much they let him get away with. Then again, if I was to lead the effort that captured another of the giants I’d probably be treated pretty differently.

After a short (but uninformative) slide show they took us back out to the vehicles and drove us down to the waterfront. You see the capsule was actually on a separate peninsula just West of camp. It was apparently a “safety precaution”, though I’m pretty sure if she ever got out it wouldn’t make much of a difference. Once we were down by the docks we all filed out.

A shaky set of planks, kept afloat by old plastic barrels, made up the main pier. A handful of small canoes and fishing boats clunked into each other on one end, while the other end sat relatively empty. I assumed the rest of the ships were out on the water already. A single motorboat bobbed along wake in the middle.

“Come on now!” Cinna cried to me as he slapped me on the shoulder. He, Speck, and another officer climbed aboard. It took some awkward maneuvering but I finally managed to get myself over the ship’s aftward fender.

The pilot was a young woman with dark hair, which she kept pulled back into a tight ponytail. She turned to us, gave a quick, half-assed salute and turned back to the helm.

“Ellis my boy this is Nixie, best captain this side of the-”

“Cut it out Cinna. You almost cost me a crew two nights ago. Don’t think I forgot about that!” the woman screamed back at us. Cinna gave me a curious look before plopping down into a narrow seat at the boats back. I, rather uncomfortably, took the one next to him.

Not long after, we pushed off the dock and began to putter across the lake toward the capsule. As we drew closer I took careful note of its construction. The walls were opaque and segmented. Instead of forming a box it appeared more or less to be arranged in a triangular shape. If I had to guess, I’d say it occupied only half the space as the one in Camp Juliet. From this distance I could see several bulges poking out from the walls. A set of indentations no doubt  caused by whoever lay inside.

The water occasionally splashed against me. Its cool touch was a welcome break from the hot dust of the Midwest. Had it not been for the boat’s obnoxiously loud motor and Cinna constant babbling I might have been able to sit back, close my eyes, and enjoy the ride. Unfortunately it was short and bumpy.

“Not quite what I was hoping for personally!” Cinna yelled over the boat’s motor. “It was a bit more difficult than we would’ve hoped. She was a fighter I’ll give her that.”

I was about to say something in reply but my thoughts were interrupted by Nixie’s voice.

“We’re docking soon, fenders out. Everyone remain seated until we are stopped!”

Moments later I was walking up the dusty path leading up to the containment facility. Unlike Juliet, this capsule had only a few small buildings dotting around it. A framework of stairs and platforms twisted up one side, likely for maintenance purposes. All the while Cinna and Speck rambled on about their recent victory. I can’t remember exactly what they said as I was far too focused on the enormous crack running up from the capsule’s side. It was a...disheartening omen.

“Alright, Gulliver-”

“Ellis, please sir”

“Alright, Ellis. Now, you’ve been given all the necessary documents yes?”

“I have Constable. But I do have a few questions for you if you don’t mind. Just, minor things. Stuff I wouldn’t expect to find in formal files.”

“Certainly, fire away.”

“Well sir, I was just wondering if you had any idea about a name or age.”

Speck blinked a few times. Was it shock on his face? Seemed likely. I expected about as much information from them as I had gotten from Treble, especially with her being in captivity for only two days.

“I am afraid we are not sure”

“Fair enough”

Just as I finished speaking I noticed a small clearing in the forest behind Speck. The portly Constable caught my eyes wandering over his shoulder and turned to see what I found so distracting. The afternoon light seemed to flood into the spot, coating it in a bright yellow film. It was no peaceful grove however. Massive splintered trucks and piles of displaced earth told me of the once serene settings recent violence.

“Ahh, yes, we haven’t had time to clean up her little path of destruction. No worries however. She has calmed down considerably since last night. You should be fine.”

I didn’t like the sound of that. If I was to go in there I’d need some kind of bearings. I needed to know something about her, anything! There had to be some morsel of information I could effectively use.

“So, have you sent anyone else in there yet?”

“Oh...yes well…” Speck grumbled. “There was a crew we sent in to retrieve the HHRC.”

“The what?”

“The...well the mask. You know.” Speck sheepishly replied whilst making a gesture with his hands around his face.

“Yes and?”

“Well, she didn’t care for-”

“What the Constable is trying to say…” Cinna suddenly jumped in. “Is that she tore through half of them before we could even tell her the whole ‘no touching rule’”

“Oh, I see. What happened to them?”

Speck looked like he was going to vomit. Cinna, on the other hand, rattled on like it was nothing.

“Well we sent twelve of them in there. As soon as she saw them, BOOM, flattened half of them with her hand. The others scattered. Eventually she caught and ate one....I think his name was Acro...anyway then we finally got her attention on the intercom and we explained her...situation.”

I guess Cinna didn’t notice the horrified look on my face as he was about to continue on. Before he could speak another word I interjected:

“A-a-and how did she react?”

“She listened immediately! She threw the HHRC into the depot bay herself and let the others walk right out.”

“Gentlemen I don’t mean to interrupt but we have arrived…” Speck inserted hesitantly.

Before us waited a small brick building flanked on either side by far more impressive concrete towers not unlike those back at Juliet.

Damn. There I go comparing everything to Camp Juliet. It was weird but I couldn’t help it. I suddenly found myself treating it like a familiar place. As if instead of living there for about a week, I had been there my whole life. It was disgusting at first but the idea started to grow on me.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. I stepped through a series of garages filled to the brim with men and women in shoddy clothing. Everyone went about their business in silence. As I passed one workshop I saw a massive device with two sets of yellow canisters attached to either side. I assumed it was part of the ‘mask’ ,or whatever it was called.

“Alright here it is.” Speck cried with a clap of his hands. In front of us a was huge circular vault door that jutted out of the wall a solid three feet. It closely resembled the hatch one might find on a bank vault. I wouldn’t be surprised now if you told me it had been repurposed from such a place.

“This the monitoring room?” I asked.

“No silly this how you get in…” Cinna replied with a laugh.

“In...

“The inner chamber!”

“Wait what?”

I wanted to protest. I wanted to scream. Of all things I wanted to run. Here before me was the door to my doom. Sure, I had done this all before but I was going in blind. I had hardly found out anything about this new subject. She seemed prone to fits of rage and violence. Not only that she had only been in captivity for a couple days! At least Vera had a month to cool down. Who knew how hot headed this new one would be. Now I know what you’re probably thinking. ‘Ellis you should be more confident, you were able to keep pace with Vera, what could go wrong?’ Maybe you’re right, but I can honestly say that everything I had ever experienced couldn’t help me with this. I would just have to wing it. Hell, I hadn’t been in camp more than an hour and I was already being thrown to the beast.

A wicked creak nearly deafened me as the door swung aside. A crew of five men held the door open for me. Immediately I turned to run but as soon as I spun around I collided with Constable Speck’s stocky form.

“Whoa there, what’s the rush there?”

“I’m sorry sir, I...I thought I’d at least get a chance to observe her first. I’m not sure I’m ready.”

“Nonsense, you’ll be fine. I know we’ve had our problems with her but you’re equipped to deal with them. Just stay near the exit and you’ll be fine. Now go in there and make us proud.”

“Sir I-”

Another hand clapped down on my shoulder. I was pulled away from Speck’s lurking grasp and into the mortiferous hands of Cinna.

“Come now boy, I really vouched for ya here. Who do you think told all them high folk about you and your great work? Don’t make me look bad now. We’re counting on you, all of us. This is all much bigger than you and me! Ha! Get it? Course you do, you’re a smart lad. Now get in there and make that colossal cunt spill her guts out! Figuratively of course! Good luck!”

The whole time Cinna ranted I could feel the ground slide beneath me. I was somehow entranced,  no stupefied, by his whole speech. I offered no protest, no physical resistance. As soon as he was done he gave me a quick shove. I stumbled backwards onto a slick surface. Being the clutz that I was I slipped, fell, and landed right on my back. By the time I sat back up the vault door had shut right in front of me.

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU! OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR!”

Now, granted I should’ve exercised a little more control. It was wrong to show such indignity in my first appearance but what could I do, I was frenzied After all what kind of people just push you into something like that? This was wrong, it was all wrong. I mean, if someone just pushed you into a cage filled with hungry lions you’d be pretty fuckin’ scared too, right?

Well, no sense on dwelling on it now. I suppose you’re wondering what happened after that, aren’t you?

The hall that I found myself in was short. Twenty feet out and I would be in the main chamber. Just like in Vera’s capsule I could stare up between the two walls and see the roof hundreds of feet overhead. Somehow I managed to push my shaky legs forward. Each step was slow and nauseating. I was so tense I nearly pulled both my hamstrings.

Then, I could see it all. It was far more humid than Vera’s chamber. So much so that a thin, veiling mist seemed to permeate the outer reaches of its interior. Just as I had suspected it was far less...state of the art? That’s not the right term but I think you catch my meaning. The walls and floor were made of a white material identical to the one used in Vera’s flooring. The chamber was triangular in shape, and I could tell immediately that it did not offer nearly enough room for an average giant to lay down. Instead, she just sat there.  

Against the left most wall leaned Subject Bet. Her legs waited in front of me. They were two massive arches of tanned skin that invoked memories of the Utah landscape. Across her stomach sat both arms and her head lay titled to one side. A mat of shiny, golden hair covered her face and ran down to chest. It seemed to glow in the dim light. She wore a more traditional set of giant’s clothing, complete with a pair of handmade sandals that lay tossed to the side of her feet. A thin, but well fitted sleeveless tunic, composed of two massive pieces of cloth stitched together, stretched across her torso. Around her waist was belt made of several interwoven strands of cord, which supported a diagonally cut skirt.

My mouth was dry. A horrible scratchiness sat in the back of my throat. It was then that I realized that I had been staring at her tremendous figure for nearly ten minutes. Oh god what was I to do? Should I speak? Hide? Nah, that was no good. Suddenly the urge to sneeze took over. No, I couldn’t risk it. I fought it with every fiber of my being. I shook internally, mostly from fear. I would not sneeze, I would not sneeze, I would not sneeze, I would not sneeze, I would not sneeze I would not sneeze, I would not sneeze.

I sneezed. Not only that but it was the loudest, most painful sneeze I had ever had the displeasure of experiencing. Though I was a measly little human in the presence of a giantess who, on any given occasion, could hardly hear me speak, the sound of my sternutation grabbed her attention instantly.

As soon as the dreadful spasm departed I could feel her eyes on me. I slowly raised my head and saw a pair of gleefully cruel green eyes peering down at me. My gaze wandered to the rest of her. She looked to be younger than Vera, likely closer to my age. She was a bit paler but it could’ve just been the poor lighting. A few sparse freckles dotted around her nose and cheekbones. What was really striking was the contrast of her brilliant viridian irises with her ebony lashes.

“What is this?” she boomed.

I said nothing. My knees knocked together so fast I nearly split my patellas. The small leather satchel I had been carried dropped to the floor. I heaved but no vomit came out. It was like someone had knocked the wind out of me.

“Do you have a death wish worm?”

Still I said nothing.

“Fuck off before I bite your tiny little legs off!”

“No I-I-I”

“Oh, the thing speaks…”

“I’m here to interview you…”

At first I thought she couldn’t hear my timid response. She leaned in closer with the same narrowed eyes that had seen on Vera countless times.

“What?” was all she said.

It occurred to me at that point that she might not have quite as much tact as Vera. There was not witty retort. No mocking hints of mischief. There was just malice and suspicion. Then again, she was still adjusting to prison life. I wasn’t dead yet though, and that was a good enough sign.

“I’m here...to talk. To you that is…” I cried out. My voice cracked under the immense weight of my terror. One of her eyebrows arched up.

“Oh? I don’t talk with lesser creatures”

“Well you...you have to. Or-”

“I’ll die?”

“Yes”

A mixture of movements followed. A plethora of twitches in her face as she shifted forward. It was then I caught a glimpse of her hand. Its knuckles were covered in purplish bruises and dried blood appeared to pour from recently closed wounds.

“What about you?”

“I die too.”

Her mouth folded back into a sneer. Something was definitely different about her. Everything she did seemed purely malicious. Perhaps it was just a first impression but I couldn’t shake it from my head. I watched warily as her injured hand crept up to the ledge I stood upon.

“Risky, risky, risky”

“Y-y-yes”

After hearing my stammer her sneer melted into a sadistic smile.

“Scared?”

I nodded.

“Does the worm have a name?”

“Look, Subject Bet I kn-know, intro-”

Her fist slammed down onto the ground. I made a faint choke and jumped back.

“Do not call me that…”

She was so full of rage. I couldn’t make any progress with someone this angry. I had to leave, I just had to. Yet, even with my common sense urging me to flee, I remained. Why? To test myself maybe. It wasn’t duty driving me I can tell you that much.

“W-w-what should I call-”

Again she interrupted me. “You will call me Amora.”

I knew that name. My mind flooded in a wash of endorphins. My stomach lurched to the bottom of my torso. I felt a tickling sensation at the back of my neck and my usual tremors reemerged. For some reason the light seemed brighter. I felt it sting my eyes as I peered up at the titaness. Despite her appearance she was no divine. She was the counterweight. The inevitable blade that would sever the fabric of this whole endeavour. She was our undoing. She was a destroyer. She was exactly what I needed.

 

The stench of death is not something that can be easily forgotten. It’s a persistent, stubborn smell that grips any living thing it can reach in its twisted vice. It’s a sulphurous curse that kneads against your skin and plies at your hairs. It was real and it was everywhere.

I could still see the dark maroon smudges that must have once been people. The majority of the gore had been washed away, leaving only faded stains as reminders of their deaths. Though the scent of the corpses lingered the room itself didn’t smell particularly bad. Instead, it smelled mostly sterile, with underlying hints of dead leaves and murky lake water. It was especially alien to me, but then again maybe I had just grown accustomed to Vera’s scent.

“A-Amora” My shaky repetition seemed to displease her further. Through her snarling lips I caught sight of her glossy incisors. I felt like I was staring into the maw of a dragon.

“That’s right…”

“Well, my name is Ellis”

“So?”

“So, I just thought…”

“Thought what?”

“I-”

“Ughhh!” she groaned. The horrendous sound drowned out everything else in the room. Instinctively my hands shot to the sides of my head to shield my eardrums from the earth shaking clamor. When I finally regained my senses I saw that Amora had turned away from me. Mustering up what strength and courage I had left I tried to call out to her.

“I just want to talk! I can help you get out of here…”

That was just what I needed to get in her attention again. In a flash of movement she rolled back over and leered down at me. Such rage was not really what I was expecting but I can’t say I was surprised.

“What makes you think I need your help you worthless speck!”

Once again the intensity of her voice startled me. In an effort to stabilize myself I set my feet in a wider stance. Should she raise her voice again I’d be ready to brace myself against its force.

“Have you been able to escape yet? I think not!”

It was a bold choice of words. Even I was surprised by them. I might have been able to get away with that when I was around Vera, but I quickly learned that would not be the case with her.

Slowly, decidedly, she turned. Her hand shot up over her head in a tight fist intent on wiping me from existence. It lingered in the air for a second. There was murder in her eyes and there was nothing to save me. I noticed Amora’s whole body shook with rage, but despite her fury she could not seem to bring that hand down. She leaned in closer. A few puffs of her breath washed over me in a menacing barrage. Each breath was accompanied by a short growl.

“AAAAAGHHHH!”

“Sorry, look I’m being honest, I know its sounds crazy but-”

Suddenly the intercom cut on. The usual buzz of static reverberated against the chamber walls. An echoing female voice thundered down:

“Subject Bet, you are displaying aggressive behavior, either desist or prepare for extermination”

The voice was difficult to understand but was far more clear than the intercom at Camp Juliet. Lucky for me, Amora got the message and grudgingly lowered her fist. I watched her shoulders rise and fall with every frustrated inhalation. She lay both arms on the ground and leaned in closer. So close that her chin practically rested on the outer platform. I backed up further and further until I ran into the wall. I felt like a cornered fox about to be torn asunder by a pack of savage hounds. Faintly, I could hear the sound of scraping. It was then I noticed Amora grinding her teeth together.

“Subject Bet, you will comply with Officer Gulliver’s requests, otherwise you will forfeit future rations. Is that understood?”

A few long, tedious seconds passed before her gigantic head gave a subtle nod. With that the intercom cut off. That just left the two of us. Staring. Waiting. Looking into each other until finally Amora spoke...no, seethed:

“So little one, what are your...requests?”

For a moment I forgot how to speak. I was too caught up in those hateful eyes.

“L-Like I said...I just want to talk. I’m in charge of deciding whether or not you will be executed.”

“Oh? And what do you want to know. There’s nothing I have to tell you.”

“How about just a little about yourself?”

“You know enough. Understand one thing little man, we will not become friends, we will not become acquainted.”

Hmm. I could already tell she was going to be a much tougher nut to crack. Vera was at least motivated. By what? Hmm, hard to say for sure. Boredom, fear, loneliness, who can tell? Perhaps all three. Either way, she became easier to talk to because she simply wanted to talk to someone. Amora, however, was so full of anger. If anything she’d rather just be left alone. Again, maybe it was just too early in the game to tell. Vera might have been this volatile when she was first captured as well, though in some corner of my mind I highly doubted it.

“Ok, well how about-”

“And another thing.” she flared. “If you expect me to beg or grovel like one of you little insects then I’d advise you find a new line of work, gas or not.”

I audibly gulped. Amora seemed to gain a moment’s worth of satisfaction from my enduring terror. Unlike Vera though, she didn’t seem quite as interested in scaring me.

“Understood” I mumbled.

“Good”

“Now, if you wouldn’t mind-”

“I would…”

“Ok, well do you think you could go over the events from a few nights ago?”

She waited for a second. I assumed the strain had finally overcome her shoulders so she threw herself back into a seated position. Like a pouting child she crossed her arms across her chest and averted her gaze. For a while there I thought she wasn’t going to speak.

“It’ll make it easier! I can get you some things. Might make it a little more bearable but you have to answer!” The incentive was weak, sure, but I didn’t have much else to use against her. I could tell that even after a few short days she was already driven mad by her solitary confinement. Considering the size of her cell I could hardly blame her.

“We heard from a few whelps up north that there was a trove of you little shits hiding away somewhere along the lake. Can’t pass up an opportunity like that. There are so few of you left, and even fewer groups to raid.” An evil smile passed over  her lips as she began to reminisce about her recent plunge into the slaughter. It was unnerving how quickly she gave in to such a request. I could hardly get Vera to talk about such acts of violence. It was clear Amora was proud of her past.

“But, as I’m sure you heard, it was a setup. We wandered into the valley and got attacked from both sides. Tore through them and moved down near the lake. The other two left. Fucking cowards. I kept going though. I wasn’t about to let a bunch of helpless bugs drive me away.”

Then came a long pause.

“And…?” I asked rather impatiently. Another murderous glare was directed toward me. I suppose that was warranted.

“And what?”

“How were you...uhh...you know...captured?”

It was a sensitive subject, I know, but I thought it might be a good way to get her talking. I soon learned that was not the case.

With a quick jolt, she bashed her head against the wall behind her. Both legs shot out and slammed into the opposite wall. The joints keeping the building together shuddered and whined. For a split second I was convinced the whole facility was about to collapse. The tremors knocked me onto the ground. When they finally subsided I found myself cowering in the leftmost corner of the room.

“Fuckin’ tricks. You and your little friends, think you can stick me with a bunch of drugs. Gas me. Force me to dance for you…”

“Ok, ok we don’t have to talk about that!” I tried to scream out. Her voice twisted and warped into a monstrous grumble.

The next few seconds could best be described as slacked. Like a rope building tension. Becoming more and more taut until finally...SNAP. Normally I would have watched her face to gauge just how angry she was, but now I was so terrified that I paid closer attention to her hands.

“What do you think you can do with me? You can’t beat me.”

“That may be true…” I started, “but I don’t have to…”

There! Her hands tensed up. I could see the tendons pull back on her knuckles, turning them white. After that she rolled her wrists a few times and slid both hands over her stomach so that they lay hidden beneath her forearms. Somehow I was getting to her.

“May I ask you a question?”

Amora said nothing in reply.

“I was wondering, how many are there in your troop...currently?”

Another stretch of silence. This time I met her eye to eye. On the surface there was the usual malice that I had expected to find, but somewhere deeper, perhaps a layer underneath, was some other powerful emotion struggling to break through to the surface.

“What troop?” she eventually said.

I cleared my throat. Man they’d really need to get me a megaphone at this rate. If kept  talking that loud I’d lose my voice.

“You said you were with two others. Are there anymore.”

She smirked, as if to inform that it was a stupid question.

“Others come and go.”

“I’m aware.”

“Why?”

“Nothing, I just thought I might need to know if any others are out there. Just so we’re prepared.”

Ah, there it was! The trap was set. Now I just had to lead her into it. Odd. Most of my fear was melting away. I guess my time with Vera did help me adjust a fair amount. It was almost exhilarating. The chase, the hunt...whatever you want to call it. I gotta say though, none of it would be possible had it been for Vera’s earlier testimony. I got lucky...very lucky. Unfathomably lucky.

“Why, what...what happened to the others?”

“The ones you were with?”

There was weakness in her voice. Could she have cared for them? That wasn’t really in the giants’ MO.

“Yes, where are they now?” she asked in a mottled growl.

The outburst was startling to say the least. My temporary confidence had been quickly replaced by the usual modum of fear. I should’ve known it was a bad idea to press too hard, especially with her.

“Can’t say for sure, but it doesn’t look good for them.”

Another silence. A concourse of facial ticks and inconsistent breathing followed along with it. Then, her torso lept forward. Both hands crashed down into the wall overhead. Amora’s entire weight shifted the facility, causing two dents to form in the layer of metal siding as she brought her palms down. Meanwhile, her head hung over me with cascades of her golden hair sweeping down on either side like the flaps of an enormous tent. I instantly hit the ground. Wave after wave of her hot breath kept me pinned. The shadow on her face kept her expression hidden, but I knew well enough what it must have been.

“WHERE ARE THEY?”

“I don’t-”

“WHERE? WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM?”

“I didn’t know you cared”

“WHERE IS GURN? WHERE IS HE?”

Now I knew what this was about. Typically when male and female giants join together sexual relationships form. That usually leads to some emotional bonds. Even though the giant’s are socially very different from us humans, their physiology is almost identical. It doesn’t take a psychology degree to know that fucking always leads to stronger sentimental connections between individuals. This was both a good and bad thing. I had some leverage, but if I was too forward with it I could get myself killed.

“He got away!” What else could I say? I mean, I didn’t know for certain but the camp hadn’t reported any other bodies. It seemed safe to assume.

Amora again made no response. She just loomed over me, consumed by fuming ferocity.

“If you’re lying….” she began in a whisper, “so help me I’ll personally tear every little bone from your body. You won’t die...you’ll live through it all. I’ll see to it. Got it?”

I thought I said yes but all I can remember was nodding furiously.  

There was no rebound whimsy. She remained bitter as she withdrew back into her original position. We both looked each other over from the corners of our eyes. I noticed she began to bounce her knee nervously. It was reassuring to know that even if I couldn’t get much out of her verbally, I could definitely read her body language.

“I do have another question for you…”

She obviously didn’t hear my shaky voice. I repeated myself a bit louder. Still nothing. Then again a third time. This time she cocked her head to the side in my direction.

“I am sick of your questions and I’m sick of you…”

“This is the last one for today, I promise!”

The knee shaking stopped. Amora turned her whole body to face me. Figured she was eager to get rid of me.

“Fine…”

“You see, there’s another of your kind we have in custody. I’ve been talking to her the past few days and I have reason to believe you knew her.”

Both her eyebrows raised. In fact, she looked legitimately shocked.

“Oh?”

“Yes, around twenty five to thirty years of age. Brown hair. Goes by…”

“Vera”

“Y-Yes, that’s correct” I was taken aback. I mean, yeah I knew they that had been acquainted but it was just so strange hearing her name come out of another giant’s mouth. Amora’s expression became hard to decipher. My best guess was somewhere between pleased and confused. Her nose wrinkled as she said the name again softly to herself.

“She was in your troop?”

“For a while.”

“What happened?”

“She left.”

“Why?”

“There seems to be a lot missing from this ‘last question’ of yours…”

Ugh, I remember that smug look she got. She was loving the whole ordeal now. Having information that I needed. Watching me flail and stumble over my words. I hated it. I hated her.

“Just...tell me about her.”

“Oh? She not talking to you? She’ll do that. She’s a conniving whore.”

“How so?”

“Hmph, normally I wouldn’t pander to your little requests but if it means getting her in deeper shit then I’m all for it.”

Amora shifted herself from side to side. I had a feeling I was about to get quite a bit of dirt on my old friend. Amora finished adjusting her posture and began to smooth through her hair. All the while humming an alien tune.

“Little Vera’s gone and pissed off the wrong people again…”

“Please just explain!”

Amora shot me another dirty look.

“Vera was just selfish. All she would do was fight with Gurn and I over...little things. She stole from us. Picked on Morod. That sort of stuff. Sometimes she’d disappear for days at a time and wander back after we finished taking down one of your little towns. How do you like that? We did all the work and she helped reap the spoils.”

“So why did she leave?”

“She didn’t put out. Neither Gurn nor Morod were getting any and that pissed them off. One day we got in a bit of a...tiff. We exchanged insults, a blow or two, nothing too serious. Next day she was gone. Figured she was just blowing off some steam but she never came back.”

“What was your argument about?”

“Oh nothing you’d be interested in…”

She gave me a wicked grin and continued.

“Besides, it would never worked out with us. She was too…” Amora searched for the word. I saw her mouth a few possible adjectives but none seemed to satisfy her.

“Soft?” I said.

She shook her head.

“More like particular. It was annoying honestly.”

“I see.”

Next came a prolonged awkward stillness that unsettled us both. I took a few cautious steps back and knelt down to gather my things. Amora never took her eyes off me.

“Well, thank you, I best get going…”

Once my satchel was back in hand I quickly turned and began a fast-paced walk to the exit. I didn’t make it more than five steps when I heard Amora’s voice boom from behind.

“Wait…”

Instinctively I froze.

“You knew who I was...That means that bitch talked about me.”

Slowly, as I turned to answer her, the shaking in my hands started back up.

“She...did. A little…”

“What did she say?”

“She said...that you...were a mean bitch. That’s about it.”

Amora cackled softly. “Yeah and she’s not?”

“I-I-I-”

“Ugh, just get the fuck out of here.”

And I did. I cleared the room as fast as my unstable little legs could carry me. When I collapsed outside I could hear the shuffle of feet as a dozen camp personnel surrounded my convulsing body. I pushed myself off the ground just as an old man’s voice croaked out:

“We’ve got a problem…”

I looked up. Cinna stood over me with his hand outstretched.

“What kind of problem?”

 

You know that disgusting, slimy, greasy feeling you get in those late summer afternoons? The same feeling that drips down your back along your spine. The same feeling that makes you wince as you feel your clothes move against you. That was all that ran through my mind as I walked back down the gravel stretch leading out of the containment facility. Cinna kept pace beside me. When I had emerged from the chamber he seemed different. I can’t quite say how. Perhaps it was something in his demeanor. He carried himself the same; stupid grin on his face, tousled hair lazily slicked back, limbs jittery with enthusiasm. It was something in his eyes then. Like he sensed a storm on the horizon.

“Are you sure its them?” I asked after bounding over a large stone in my path.

Cinna scratched his whiskers. “I’m positive. The scout said one had a white scar across his left cheek. I know that scar.”

“So you think they’re coming for her?”

“Either that or they’re running out of food…”

Now that was a frightening thought. Luckily I had been spared witnessing one of their “bacchanales” thus far. I couldn’t bear to hear the people scream.

“Will it be a problem? I mean, you guys are prepared right?”

Cinna didn’t look quite so sure. As we pattered down onto the dock he let out a weary sigh. A nervous hand swept up to the back of his neck. In all it was not a reassuring sight. Seeing him slowly devolve into a state of severity made me scared for my life.

“We took quite a hit a few days ago. I don’t know if we can really stand up to another attack. We don’t have the supplies, or the preparations…”

“But-but…your Cinna! Can’t you pull some crazy sneak attack and hit ‘em when they least expect it.”

The spring returned to his step for a moment. Cinna furrowed his brow and an amused smirk appeared. He clapped his hands over his belt and looked up to the sky in a flourish of curiosity.

“Ha, you know what...you’re right. I’ll think of something. They won’t get within three miles of here don’t you worry... in fact. I already have delightful idea…”

With that we both swung our legs over the side of Nixie’s boat and took our old seats. Cinna continued to stare up into the clouds like a small child. I never took my eyes off of him. He was making more skittish than usual. God, I hoped he knew what he was doing

Moments later I stood back in the dusty grid of tents that made up the primary mesh of the camp. People didn’t even look as me as I passed them along the roads. There was a lingering somberness in the camp. Everyone seemed to carry along with muted expressions. I would have thought that living in a camp next to such a beautiful lake would breed at least a little pleasantness. Unfortunately, it would seem that even the murky waters and fresh pine air aren’t enough to drive away that grim stench of death.

An attendant was taking me to my tent. As we moved closer to the waterfront I noticed the lodgings became more and more extravagant. To be honest I got a little excited. My quarters back at Juliet were typical, drab, but suitable for the likes of me. Yet here, the living conditions were...well comparatively luxurious. I eyed the pavilions as we crossed over a small footbridge that spanned a tiny creek. Finally, we stopped.

The building in front of me was...well…just that: a building. Instead of a series of poles, ropes, and canvas flaps it was a solid wooden structure. Beams of hard oak supported walls of dark burgundy bricks. Layers of tiles served as the roof. It wasn’t particularly well made, but its two stories seemed welcoming enough.

“Here it is…” the man said. With a sweep of his hand he motioned for me to climb the wooden stairway leading up to the second floor. I obliged and soon found myself inside a spacious loft complete with all amenities I could ask for. It was...incredible. I was speechless. As I turned to thank the man I found he had already left.

Naturally, I wasted no time in getting settled in. It was a shame I’d only be staying there for another day. Oh, that’s right I forgot to explain how my schedule worked. You see I wasn’t permanently reassigned. Constable Treble wouldn’t hear of it! So, I’d spend two days at each camp and then switch back. This way they thought I could keep both subjects off balance. It wasn’t the best plan but I wasn’t one to argue. Initially I thought Subject Bet, I mean...Amora, would be a welcome break from the emotionally strained Vera. However, after our first meeting it quickly became apparent that this would be a far more dire task. Amora was more direct, I’ll giver her that. She hated me enough that she was willing to talk just so that she’d be left alone. Vera, on the other hand, would drag our conversations out for the exact opposite purpose. It was a peculiar duality I saw in these two. I can’t say for sure what I saw in them. Everything at this point made my head spin.

Gravity carried me down into a desk chair waiting next to the neatly polished mahogany table. My momentum caused me to spin around a few times before coming to a lazy stop facing my bed. The usual military cot was gone. In its place was an actual mattress. I mean, sure it was a shitty mattress but a mattress nonetheless. As I looked over the other features of my room I began to weigh my future plans in the back of my brain. How should I go about questioning Amora? Should I even risk going back in there? Could I somehow use this ‘Gurn’ guy as leverage?

So many choices, so many decisions. Perhaps I should draw up a mental map to help me. Then I eyed my bed.

“Maybe after a quick nap…”

The rest of the day passed without incident. By the next morning I was well rested and well fed. I hadn’t felt that together in months. In fact, for a few sparse moments I had completely forgotten about all the troubles in the world and my harrowing responsibilities. The knowledge that in just a couple hours I’d be staring into the face of a cold-blooded murderer seemed absent from my consciousness. Instead of grinding my knuckles into my skull, I walked along the banks of the lake. The waves were gentle and the breeze was refreshing. It wasn’t until I looked out across at the far shore and saw the wasteland created by Amora’s struggles that reality returned to me. After letting out a pent-up sigh, I decided to head over the containment facility. Might as well get it over with for today.

When I hopped aboard Nixie’s boat I was met with a rather unpleasant scowl. Maybe it was my close association with Cinna. Maybe it was my line of work. Maybe she just wasn’t a people person. Whatever it was, she was definitely not happy to see me.

“Excuse me…” I started to grumble as we pulled away from the dock. “Did I do something? Offend you or…?” normally I wouldn’t have said anything. I’m not really the type to press people in passing social interactions, especially when one party seems to harbor an unjustified grudge.

“Hmph, its nothing...sir…”

“Is it? It doesn’t sound like nothing. Look if I did something I’d like to apologize I didn’t mean to…”

“Of course you meant to…”

I was about to make a defensive retort when Nixie suddenly forced the throttle forward. The boat lept over the waves and crashed down on the water. A torrential wake was all we left behind as our vessel sped towards the far shore. I held on to my chair for dear life. Even had I managed to focus my thoughts I would not have been able to speak over the screaming engine. I reminded myself that I would have to pick my battles. This one could wait.

By the time we reached the other dock I was so nauseous that I couldn’t even thank her for the ride. I tumbled over the side of the boat and began the uphill trek to the containment facility. Ignoring the signs of destruction and malice, I waded through the dust and grime that speckled the poorly cut road. Once I had reached the top I found my boots and shins coated in pallid, chalky dust.

Much to my surprise I was greeted by a collection of friendly faces. Everyone from maintenance men to the overwatch seemed happy to see me. I couldn’t pass anyone without a healthy greeting or an appreciative smile. It was unsettling honestly. After the reactions I had garnered from Juliet this all seemed too good to be true. I would’ve been content with apathy, but this...this was too surreal. It was almost as though they had choreographed it all.

I approached the vault door and the attending guards nodded to me.

“Have you been cleared by Constable Speck or Silver sir?”

Confusedly I searched the libraries of protocol in my mind. “Uhhh, do I need to be?” I asked with legitimate curiosity.

The two men looked at each other. “I guess not…”

Wow, that was...easy. Weird.

The next thing I knew the enormous mechanism had been pushed aside. The misty, primeval chamber within pulsed with monstrous intention. Much like Odysseus being drawn by the Siren’s song I felt some invisible force tugging at my innards. My intestines felt like they were being strung along a long cord. It wasn’t a torturous sensation though. It was compelling. Tempting. So I gave in.

The journey into the chamber itself was more like stepping into a dream. The haze that hung around my field of vision seemed to buffer against the terrible sense of danger that I felt as soon as I saw Amora’s  massive body waiting within. She sat cross-legged in the center of the room. Her torso was hunched over and her hair drooped down around her, shielding most of her upper body from view.

As soon as I heard the heavy ‘clunk’ of the door shutting behind me I cleared my throat and spoke.

“Amora...it's me again.”

At first nothing. I thought maybe I should speak again, perhaps a bit louder. But, after another thirty seconds, her shoulders rolled back and a weary, tormented groan echoed out. Her viridian gaze met mine. Then she spoke:

“You...and who are you?”

“Amora, it’s Ellis….”

“I know your name but who are you?”

I considered her question intently. Without breaking eye contact I inched over to the ledge and sat down.

“Well, we can talk about that first if you’re interested.”

“Let's say I am.”

“Ok, well, you know why I’m here, you know my name, what else do you want to know?

Her expression sagged, her shoulders slumped again. Then, she planted one hand on the ground in front of her and let her weight rest against it.

“Do you think I’m cruel? Do you think I am a monster?”

“I think you’ve done some pretty cruel things.”

“So yes then?”

I choked on my answer at first but eventually I managed to squeak it out. “Yes...I...guess so.”

She chuckled noiselessly. In a rhythmic wave she drummed her fingers on the ground.

“Tell me then. Are you really capable of telling a monster from a god?”

Each of her words pounded down on me like a hammer. She thundered with the same bravado that I imagined would come from the mouth of Zeus himself. I had to give it to her, from where I sat, she did somehow come off as a deity. She didn’t quite look the part, but there was just a deeper aspect of her that had a divine bearing.

“I think I know enough about what a god is supposed to be...I am certain I know what a monster is supposed to be.”

“Oh? Enlighten me then.”

This was clearly a trap. One from which I couldn’t hope to escape. But, just as my workings with Vera, I needed to press on. No matter the cost. Wow, looking back now I can’t believe just how brave I was. Maybe time has altered that perception. Its difficult to tell now.

“A god must be worshipped. A monster is a beast to be slain.”

I didn’t receive the violent reaction I had been expecting. Instead I watched her eyebrows as they raised up. Again she seemed amused by me. I guess that’s better than what I had initially anticipated.

“What if you were wrong?”

“Then what is the distinction?”

“There is none…”

The silence that followed was unequivocally and paradoxically deafening. The complete stillness of everything in the room made me truly question whether this was all a vision or perhaps a waking dream.

“What?” was all I managed to say.

“Gods are self made. You don’t get to become one without demonstrating your power. Back home, there was a god. Now, you probably wouldn’t have thought it was one. You expect it to appear in living flesh. You expect it to have some tangible form you can see and hear. But it wasn’t. It died before I was even born. Now there are no gods where I come from. Now we have come here to climb that ladder.”

“So you come and kill and torment for...for what?”

“I used to think it was self-assurance. Now I see it. I see it in you. I drink it in everytime I witness your little body shake. Even if you won’t admit it you feel it. I know you do.”

She was right. Logically I knew she was just a delusion homicidal maniac but still everything she accused me of was there. In my skin. In my mouth. I had originally felt it with Vera, but now that it was being brought to the forefront of my dynamic awareness. I shuttered at just how real it was.

“Why do you hate humans so much?”

“Hate? Hate? I don’t hate humans. In fact I can honestly say that I hate my own race far more than I hate yours. You are...stepping stones is all.”

I think the most troubling thing about it all was how quickly she had adapted. The Amora I saw the day before was not the same Amora that I was trapped with now. It's like she had spent all her time formulating her little speech. It was well crafted I’d have to give her that.

“Well, why don’t we talk about something else…”

Amora set her other hand down and leaned in even closer. Steadily, she lowered herself down until her chest rested on the floor.
“Fine.” was all she whispered.

A few subtle gestures later I was ready to begin. Now I had to progress this relationship of ours (if you can even call it that). Vera had grown fond of me, but then again whose to say she wouldn’t have grown fond of anyone? What was it she liked about me again? Did she ever answer that inquiry? I can’t even remember. It didn’t matter anyway, Amora was vastly different and would likely never develop any sort of tenderness for me as Vera had.

“So why don’t you…”

“Yes?”

“...Tell me…”

“What?” she mumbled.

I swallowed hard and winced prematurely.

“Tell me about your relationship with Gurn…”

I opened my eyes and saw only a blanket of gold in front of me. Amora had bowed her head and now waited with her eyes fixed on the ground. It was a fresh wound and I went for it. It was cruel, sure, but it was a necessary pressure point.

“Shut the fuck up…” was her initial response.

“Alright we could-”

“I SAID SHUT UP!” she suddenly screamed.

I fell flat on my back. My ears were ringing. It was all I could think about. If this was to keep up I’d be completely deaf before I turned thirty. My limbs instinctively tried to get me as far from her as possible, but it ended up just being a pitiful fit of flailing.

“I-I-I-”

“You leave him out of this. You think that this has some sort of deeper meaning to me? Well it doesn’t so just SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

I managed to pull myself up. Between my crude gasps for breath I managed to wheeze out a follow up:

“I’m....sorry...I didn’t know…you cared...so much”

Then, like a shy cat, she turned her face away from me. The sudden realization that my assumptions might not be as accurate as I thought slapped me clean across the face. What was it I had gotten wrong? I didn’t have long to wait till I found out.

“I don’t care…”

“R-r-really?”

She slowly turned back to face me. Her face was a mix of disappointment and regret.

“He abandoned me. Left me to be captured by you little people. He’s nothing to me.”

Fair enough. For a moment I thought I saw a tear welling up in corners of her glossed eyes, but she didn’t weep. Not once. Nevertheless, I could sense it would remain a sensitive subject for quite some time. It was strange that the first hint of affection amongst the giants was discarded in a matter of days. The link between their self-imposed isolationism and their trust issues was unmistakable. I’d have to ask Vera about it. I felt she would have a different perspective on it all.

“Well?”

Whoa. Damn. I was daydreaming again. As bad at it seemed it was also a good sign. It meant I was at least growing a little accustomed to Amora’s temperament. Lucky for me I never seemed to drift off in extremely tense encounters.

“Wha- sorry I-”

“So you just going to stare at me or do you have something else to say?”

“I-suure-hold on”

There I went again, getting all flustered. It was maddening really. But I think I had the right to be at least a little flustered, what with me getting as close as one can get to a giant without a death being involved. One of them most certainly wanted me dead, whilst the other treated me more or less like a plaything. It wasn’t the most comfortable existence but it was one I was willing to lead at that point in my life.

“You’re such a waste of time…”

“Well, I’m sorry, how about you tell me more about Vera while I get my questions together?” I nearly bit my lip off as I peered up at her looming face. She looked thoroughly annoyed. Blindly I started shuffling through the files in my satchel to give the illusion that I was actually organized.

“There’s not much else to say.”

“Nothing?”

“Well, she liked animals…”

“Really?’

“They didn’t like her though…”

That could be a useful little tidbit. I didn’t really have the time or energy to engineer exactly how I was to go about using it but it was helpful nonetheless.

“What about people?”

“I assume you mean you...things? And what about them?”

“Vera, how was she with people…”

Amora regarded me with another puzzled look. It was a calm confusion but it passed quickly.

“Why are you so interested in her?”

“I’m just trying get a different perspective on her.”

She stared back skeptically.

“She wasn’t that different from anyone else. I mean...she didn’t like to touch them. She liked scaring them mostly…”

That was nothing new. Everything she had told me had come at no surprise. Old Vera didn’t seem all that different from the Vera I knew. Not a menace, more a distant hazard that should be avoided rather than assaulted. Lonely, but not a loner. But, just when I was satisfied with Amora’s response, she continued on:

“Of course there was the incident at the river…”

“What incident?”

Amora shot back up into her original position. Another grin of malicious satisfaction awaited me when she finally settled back down. Her tongue slipped out like a serpent, ran over her upper lip, then vanished once more between her fulgid teeth.

“Why don’t you ask her about it?”

 

What is it about dismal displays that captures people’s attention? No matter how grisly, no matter how horrifying or somber, a crowd always comes to watch. A crowd of people, young and old, all trudging out of their own tents to see what awful scene was to be put on today. Like it was some macabre theatrical performance. Like life was just another work of drama. An opera, a ballet, a tragic comedy. They stared, all of them. I saw the wall of people before I saw anything else. When our vehicle drew closer they parted. The mass of onlookers warily shifted off to the sides of the road, leaving a small hole in their numbers through which I was able to catch a glimpse of the appalling spectacle.

Between two rows of pedestrians I saw a pair of grey-clad Psyn Corps operatives gathering a corpse onto a stretcher. A physician stood nearby with a withered hand on the shoulder of a hysterical woman. The victim appeared to be a young man, not much older than myself, with a gaping bullet wound in the side of his head. The splattered blood and oxidized traces of gore masked his facial features and scattered across the soggy earth. Above the soft putter of the car’s engine I could hear the tortured woman’s wails. Wide streams of tears ran down her reddened face. Her movements were struggled and spasmatic. I couldn’t tell exactly what happened. The man was shot, that was all I knew. One thing I was certain of was that rumors would spread quickly.

“Damn shame…” my plucky young driver added. “Heard about it on the radio just before I picked you up. Fella shot himself.”

“Wait just a damn minute now!” the other militiamen in the front passenger seat interjected. “I heard that those Psyn Corps bastards shot him!”

“Now why would they do that?”

“I don’t know, do those bastards even need a reason?”

Hmm, seems the rumors were circulating a lot faster than I thought. Lucky for me the calamitous attraction faded just as soon as it appeared. I tried to push the image from my mind.

“So, errr Gulliver right?” my driver asked.

“Ellis please,”

“You work with those giants don’t you?”

“That is correct”

“Damn, that must be like...really awful. How do you keep ‘em from killing you and what not?”

“Yeah” the other soldier burst out. “What do you do to them anyhow?”

At first I just shifted across the leather upholstery nervously. My thumb fiddled with the leather strap on my satchel as I continued to stare out the window. For a few brief seconds I completely forgot about their questions.

“I just...talk to them.”

Both turned their heads to peer back at me.

“That’s it?”

“Yeah...pretty much.”

Another journey over the hills and plains of the midwest. A trip from the lush, wooded interior to the dry and dreary outer edge. Oddly enough though, it felt like I was going home. Sure, at that point Camp Echo was just as much home as Camp Juliet, but still something about it helped me regain my composure. The day before, during my interview with Amora, some dreadful sense of congeniality had grabbed ahold of me. Somehow, for a second, I was truly convinced that she was a god of sorts. That they all were. I understood that they came here to forget their home world and each other, but at what cost? Were their lives so awful or was the idea of dominating a smaller race just that appealing?

Vera, I felt, would be the key to it all. If I was to understand the extremes of giant behavior I would need to understand how someone as mild mannered as Vera could still derive pleasure from this wretched subjugation. Plus, what was this river incident? It didn’t sound good.

At last, beyond the broken treeline on the edge of the horizon I saw the crest of Vera’s prison. Its plexiglass and titanium exterior scattered the early evening sunlight as the last rays were split by one of the capsule’s antennae.

I knew at this point we were only about twenty minutes out. Although I was dreading my return to the torn lean-to that was my tent, I was eager to follow-up on my newly discovered leads. No doubt I’d be met with the same animosity that had assailed me before I left. Grim would not be happy to see me, that’s for damn sure. I could do for a day where I wasn’t physically harmed. I mean, is that really too much to ask?

“Alright, looks like we’ll be pullin’ in soon. You still good back there?”

“Yep”

“Good to hear…”

The second man then turned back.

“So I also hear you know Cinna?”

I nodded.

“Wow, that’s incredible. I’ve heard so much about him! Well, we all have I guess. What’s he like?”

It felt like a loaded question. The best thing to do was be honest I guess. Well, maybe not too honest. I didn’t have to tell the whole truth.

“He’s...a character. Its hard to say exactly. He’s not what I expected him to be.”

The man just stared back at me. I guess he didn’t really catch my meaning. Well what else could I do? I wasn’t going to say that he was batshit crazy!

“Well, not exactly sure what that’s supposed to mean but I was just wondering if you knew anything about where he went…”

“Went?”

“Yeah, didn’t you hear?”

Admittedly I hadn’t heard from Cinna since I last left him on the docks. It would make sense that he’d gone off and gotten himself into some kind of trouble. What it was, well, that was a mystery to everyone but the old man himself.

“No, what happened?”

“Well,” the driver piped up, “seems he’s disappeared. Haven’t heard from him in a little over a day. Quite odd, but this sort of thing’s happened before…”

“Yes...that is odd…”

Ahhh, the familiar dust embraced me like an old friend. Mere minutes passed before my clothes were coated in its pallid residue. A heavy wind whipped up across the hills that hid the camp from view. Aside from the grumble of the car’s motor, the camp was rather quiet. My drivers bid me farewell and I decided to head back to my tent. With an exasperated heave I lifted my duffel bag up over my shoulder so that its strap overlapped my satchel’s.

My natural assumptions led me to believe that everything would be just as I left it. After all, it had only been two days. However, I quickly learned that was not the case. As I passed road after road I noticed a greater military presence. Whereas before only a few Blue Shirts would wander the camp, I now saw entire companies marching down the street. The commanding officer gave me a glare as I passed. He looked familiar.

When I finally reached my tent I found a horrible mess. Half the support beams had been knocked over. Large, jagged serrations etched out across the canvas cover. Layers of graffiti littered it as well. It was all accented by several shattered liquor bottles strewn out across its threshold. God, what a disaster. Whoever did this was certainly thorough. I could feel my usual tremors kick in as I ran my fingers across the words “DIE CUNT” written hastily in yellow spray paint. I wanted to cry. An ancient sadness that I sense was born years ago welled up in my throat. It was like I was a child again. I couldn’t do anything. There was just so much hatred around me it made me sick.

To be honest, I thought about leaving right then. Just packing my things in one of the reserve jeeps and speeding out into the wilderness. I wouldn’t make it far though. Luckily my reason was still intact. The crunch of glass beneath my shoes was an unhealthy reminder of the bakery. In the distance I thought I heard my mother scream. NO! I wasn’t going to fall into that pit again. Too much was riding on me now.

In a sudden burst of fury I kicked one of the empty handles of vodka across the dirt and screamed. Another minute passed. I thought of nothing, except the steady beat of my breath. After a while I noticed a couple of shapes in the corner of my eye. Two strangers, children, peeked out from behind a tent flap. They looked terrified.

With a fatigued gasp I let air flood back into my lungs. I wiped the sweat and dust from my brow and gathered my things. There was no home here anymore, so I picked myself up and turned toward the containment facility.

The path to the main control center was blocked. A line of soldiers in their usual dark blue jackets and black kevlar vests waited outside with rifles against their shoulders. At first I paid no attention to them, I was too eager to get back to work. As I stormed up to the brigade one of them thrust his hand out and caught me by the collar.

“Hold up there sir, no one gets in without a level three clearance pass.”

The acid in my throat poured out as a vicious words:

“Excuse me, I work here, I have to get inside. Let go of me!”

Yet, the more I struggled the tighter the man gripped. I had the urge to strike him across the face but again my common sense directed me otherwise. Suddenly, another two sets of hands seized my arms and began hauling me back.

“Get this lunatic out of here now!”

“Wait no, you don’t understand I’m Gulliver! Jung! Whatever, I have to get in there. Where is Constable Treble?”

By this point it had become quite a scene. Soldiers, base personnel, and passing civilians turned to see what all the fuss was about. I can’t imagine how foolish I must’ve looked, kicking and screaming like a child while two burly militiamen dragged me away. But, just when I thought I was about to receive another beating a female voice called out.

“Ellis, there you are!”

I looked up and saw Cyan bolting down the stairs. She wore her usual turquoise getup, although this time she had a small security badge clipped to her shirt pocket.

“Release him, he’s with me!”

“Ma’am with all due respect…”

“No, don’t you “ma’am” me, release him he is working with me.”

The soldier looked sheepishly from her to me. Then, with a nod of his head, the four iron grips baring down into my flesh were released. I smoothed out my clothes out and quickly stepped up to greet my savior.

“Thank you Cyan, what are you-”

“Ellis, come with me.”

Cyan grabbed my wrist and tugged me violently up the wooden stairs. As we fled the scene I jerked my head back to get a look at the troop of men behind me. The soldier who had stopped me had an indifferent look of judgment on his face as he watched me disappear into the facility’s interior.

“Cyan what was all that back there, why are you up here and why are you-?”

“Ellis, keep your voice down…”

“Ok”

The two of us sped down the hallway, dodging the usual flock of workers that swam across the corridors like schools of fish. Finally, when we reached the main monitor room she pushed me inside. I nearly fell on as I stumbled backward. She drew in closer and began to speak in a hushed tone.

“Ellis, Psyn Corps has been here. They’re trying to change everything. Look while you were gone they got a bunch of us doctors up here and told us to start, well...monitoring her. Telling us to ‘let them know if anything out of the ordinary happens’.”

I stared back with a puzzled expression. Why was she telling me all of this now. What did it have to do with me?

“Ok, that is weird. But I guess it explains why I’ve noticed a lot more security. But what do I-”

“Look!” she cried out a bit louder. She quickly looked over her shoulder and turned back to me. “Something weird’s going on ok. I can’t explain exactly why right now, I have to get back to my post but I needed to tell you to watch your back. For some reason they’ve been taking a great interest in you.”

“I know...but what makes you think they aren’t just interested in my work.”

“Maybe they are, maybe they aren’t, all I know is these Psyn Corps guys are bad news. Just promise me you’ll keep an eye out for them ok? I can explain more later, but I have to go-”

“Alright, just remain calm Cyan! Things will be ok. Good luck”

Cyan turned to leave. Her feet clacked down on the linoleum with a surprising intensity. I watched as she curled her fingers into tightly wound fists. Then, she began to turn back around.

“Ellis...one more thing. They’ve been testing on her again.”

I swallowed hard and gave her a nod. With what effort I could muster I shielded my emotions. I didn’t want to give the impression that I was too attached to Vera. Admittedly I can’t say that I was, but it just seemed cruel. After she was clear of the room I bolted out the door and ran down the hall toward the far stairwell.

Two soldiers waited by it, but all the commotion in the corridor covered my hasty approach. I easily sprinted past them and began to descend the stairs. I could hear them calling after me, but they gave no indication as to whether or not they were giving chase. When I finally reach the bottom of the stairs I saw the usual guards waiting by the door. When I entered, however, they did not stir.

“Open the door” I commanded. Both looked at each other then back to me.

“Sorry sir, no one gets in, Constable Treble’s orders.”

“What are they doing to her in there?”

Again they exchanged looks of concern. “Nothing that we know of…”

“Then let me in.”

“Sir I-”

“Soldier, I have been given a direct order to get in there! Do I need to get the Constable down here? Open the damn door!”

God, I don’t know what had gotten into me. I’d never been so assertive before, it was really quite invigorating. The two men were also taken aback. My meek demeanor had finally chipped away after days of abuse. Between the thick skulled officers and the abrasive giants I had had about enough.

Much to my surprise though, both men stood and left without saying a word. I guess I’d have to do it myself.

I won’t bore you with how long it took me to figure out what latches did what, but somehow, after what seemed like a short eternity, I managed to get the right combination. The heavy vault rattled open, revealing the customary pale white light within. With all the adrenaline in my system I knew I’d need to collect myself before going in and facing her.

With bated breath I crossed back over into Vera’s world. When I emerged from the hall I saw her sitting in the corner with her knees pulled tightly against her chest. I couldn’t see her face beneath the wall of hair surrounding her hunched head. I noticed there were new dents in the walls. The more I thought about it the more I began to realize just how shaky her mental health must be. Although she’s had a fair amount of time to calm down, the added stay in solitary confinement must have really started to drive her mad.

Vera must have heard the door open because as soon as I stepped into the chamber I could hear her muffled voice:

“Who is it now?”

“Vera!” I cried out. “Its me, I’m back. I told you I wouldn’t be gone long!”

Immediately her head shot up. At first I don’t think she recognized my diminutive form, but with a little bit of scrutiny she realized who I was. I distinctly remember her eyes lighting up for a couple seconds. However, she caught herself before she could show any more warmth. Instead, her face melted back to her usual coy expression. Then, it gave way to a slightly forced, tormented look.

“Why you little shit…”

Uh oh…

“Do you know what’s happened since you’ve been gone? It was...it got so dark. There were noises, they tried to get me to eat something and I...I was so hungry”

“Vera, please I’m sorry, I will fix all this, there will be hell to pay I promise…”

Suddenly her eyes narrowed. Carefully she began to stretch her legs out toward me. She was scaring me again. I had to remind myself that she just wanted me to feel bad, she wasn’t really mad, she couldn’t be, right? She knew it wasn’t my fault...I think.

“Get over here…”

“Vera I’m not sure-”

“You lied to me…”

Slowly she began to rise off the ground. I felt like I was staring up at a rising tidal wave. She seemed to grow larger and larger as she drew closer. The entirety of my conscious attention was focused on her face.

“Maybe I should come back later…”, I turned to go, but before I could even take a single step I heard a tremendous ‘thud’. A second later the ground shook so violently that I collapsed onto my hands and knees.

“No!” she cried. However, her voice wasn’t severe. If anything it was more like pleading.

“What?”

“Look, I might be angry with you but...don’t leave me in here. I don’t know what they’ll try to do next if you’re gone.”

I flipped over into a sitting position and peered up at her sheepishly. Vera regarded me with another expression of muted hesitation. I picked myself up off the ground and walked toward her. As I approached, Vera lowered her hand and gave me an encouraging nod. This seemed like an unnecessary risk, but I felt bad for her. I don’t know what they did while I was gone and I don’t know why but I would not let them get away with it.

“So…” she began awkwardly as she I cautiously stepped over her fingertips. “...Tell me about this other ‘assignment’”

When I finally reached her palm she lifted me upward. The g-forces slammed me down into her skin but I was able to quickly recover. Vera readjusted herself so that she sat cross-legged in the middle of the room with her hand held level to her chest. At first I stared ahead and her immense torso. I guess its natural to assume that Vera’s sexual appeal didn’t help me during our meetings, but now, especially since she started acting a little more friendly, it was positively flustering.

Vera gave her hand a little shake to snap me out of my state of hypnosis. When our eyes finally met I saw the familiar impish glow in them. Great, she knew.

“Yes?” I stupidly asked.

“You were about to tell me about this other...job or whatever you call it”

“Oh right! Well, it was...interesting.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, very different from here. It was by a lake, very nice and all. People were strange though…”

“How so?”

“I don’t know, they were either very sad or strangely happy.”

To this Vera said nothing, she just nodded apathetically. It was clear she was just interested in the other subject. With that in mind I became incredibly agitated. How would she react? I can’t imagine that’d she’d take it well. Especially after learning a little more about her relationship with Amora and the others.

“Well, and then there was the other subject…”

Vera noticeably perked up. Somehow, in the slight shake of her hand I could sense that she was just as nervous about it as I was. She would never admit it but I could tell she was either concerned for my safety or covetous of my attention. Whatever the case may be, I decided it was best to just be blunt.

“Vera, what can you tell me about Amora…”

At once Vera’s eyes grew wide. Her jaw dropped and a shaky breath seeped out. Then, her gaze wandered away.

“Wh-why?”

“Vera, it was her. I met Amora, I asked about you and well...now I want to know about her…”

“That’s...that’s impossible.”

“Vera it was her!”

“But, I...I thought she was dead…”

 

In 1961, President Eisenhower gave his final public speech as Commander-in-Chief of the United States. During it, he warned about the dangers of the military-industrial complex and the problems of the corporate-technological elite. Now, I was and always will be a man of science; someone who is dedicated to progress. However, over the last few years things have changed. I would never have paid attention to any private military organization prior to the invasion, but now...now they were everywhere. It was hard not to address them. Psyn Corps, the Blue Shirts, Althea Company, the Tattered Legion, Los Diablos de Arena, the list just goes on and on now. I guess all it took was the end of the world to make me see them for what they were.

All of this...it was incredible. The facilities, the apparent order, it was all too much. I would never have dreamed such things were possible in my time, but even with fewer resources and even less time they somehow were able to accomplish all of...well that! It was mind boggling. Truly extraordinary. It was the only thing that could take me away from the slight shifting of the surface beneath me.

“Ellis...please speak...you’re making me nervous.”

“I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

Typically she would have been angry with me for not listening, but it seemed that her mind was also preoccupied with troubling thoughts.

“Amora should be dead. Or...at least I thought she was.”

“Ok, ok, hold on. I thought you said you just left them one night!”

She rolled her eyes and huffed.

“I lied, come on I thought you smarter than this!”

“Ok! Look, why don’t you tell me what actually happened then?”

Vera grew even more restless. It was like some creeping cold managed to infiltrate the humid chamber and snake up along her spine. I watched as her titanic torso shuddered. As if contagious, the same shiver stretched out through my own, already jittery, limbs. Vera noticed and gave me a frustrated frown. I was about to repeat my request when she cupped her hand, causing me to roll backwards. She brought me closer to her face and started to whisper.

“Ellis, you know I am fond of you…”

“Y-y-yes”

“Well, it is for this reason that I hesitate to tell you the truth…”

“O-ok”

“Likewise,” she continued, her voice rolling with protracted affliction. “I think it would be in my best interest, given what you have told me, to keep this out of public knowledge.”

As she went on I could almost feel her accent growing thicker. It was as though the anxiety was peeling her adjusted speech away like the rind of a fruit.

I didn’t like the sound of all this. I simply needed to know! There had to be some way to coax the information out of her.

“Vera, hiding it won’t help you, if you’re up front of with us now we might be willing to overlook it…”

A restrained scowl was her immediate response. This terrified the shit out of me, what with me being so close to her mouth and all. Her anger was unmistakable, but it looked as though she was trying her best not to show it.

“What’s wrong?”

“Hmph...you sound more and more like the others everyday. I thought you would be able to keep their hooks out of your little brain.”

“Vera, I- Please you know they don’t like secrets.”

“I don’t care what they do and do not like…”

“Vera…” I cried shakily up at her. “Please, just...tell me. I can help!”

She curled her fingers a little more, casting me in further darkness. All the while my heart beat faster and faster. I noticed a slight tremble in her lip as she tried to form words. Again I noticed the great effort she put into holding back a scowl. Perhaps her fondness of me did not extend quite as far as I hoped.

“You’ve done quite enough already…”

I must’ve reacted pretty poorly to that statement because immediately her expression softened. There was hope for me yet.

“But, I suppose I might as well tell you. Knowing you, you won’t shut up about it until I do…”

Frustrated as she might be, I couldn’t help but feel overjoyed at her relention. You see, I could tell that had I not gone to Echo she would’ve remained stubborn. She realized that she really did need me and that if I was going to stick around, then I’d need as much information from her as possible. Unfortunately, she wasn’t stupid, which meant that she likely knew that I had hoped for this all along. It would no doubt be a strain on our relationship in the near future.

Vera bowed her head even lower, allowing another layer of her hair to fall down over her face. I was starting to feel numb again. I lost track of my own shaking. Normally, the spasms were constant, traceable, and sometimes even controllable, but now they seemed to hold complete sway over me. Did I forget to take my meds?

“So, as you probably already know, Amora and I never really got along. She was sarcastic, malicious, and above all else, jealous.”

“Jealous?”

A furious tick forced Vera to shut her eyes. I could tell she was ready to scream at me again so I quickly curled back into a defensive posture. Luckily she managed reign herself back in.

“Yes…” then silence. I didn’t want to look her in the eye. “Ellis…” Still I didn’t move. “Ellis! Look at me!” Finally I relented. I peered skittishly into the void of her pupils. “If you want me to tell this you have to keep quiet...understood?” I gave an overblown nod to show my consent. Damn, I swear I nearly gave myself whiplash doing that.

“Sorry” I squeaked.

“Anyway,” she began once more. “We had fought quite a bit up to that point. I didn’t get along with any of them be honest. They were just...the only ones I kind of knew and this whole new world was strange and I-” Vera stopped. She tilted her head forward whilst struggling to organize her thoughts.

“So, one day, Amora tells me she saw a huge train of you little people in your little vehicles to the East and she wanted to try and round them all up. Gurn and the other male were all down for it and they insisted that I help them, since…” she trailed off again. I noticed her eyes wander up to the corners were the security cameras were hidden before finally turning back to me. “Since I never really helped them with that sort of thing before...They said if I wanted a cut of the spoils I had to contribute. It was simple really, Amora and the other...I think his name was like...Merd or Marron or something like that...well they were going to herd them over to this bridge and Gurn and I would be waiting for them. Cut them off. You know that sort of thing.”

Another prolonged silence followed. This time, however, Vera stared down at me. Every second I could feel her attention drilling into my skin like some Medieval torture device. The iron clamps pinned my limbs to my body and straps of leather wound around my neck, making it difficult to breath.

“S-s-so then what happened?” Normally I wouldn’t have dared speak again but the break in her story had been going on for too long now. I honestly would take her wrath over her silent scrutiny any day.

“Then...well. I need to back up a bit first.” Vera reached up with her other hand and brushed a few smooth locks from her face. Strangely enough, she seemed to be growing more calm, as though finally telling her story was relieving some tremendous internal pain.

“So, even before I came here, Gurn he...had a thing for me. Now before you go getting any ideas about what that means you have to understand that we don’t have partnerships like you do here. Its different.... very different. I never wanted him. Before it was harmless but since I’d been running with him and his bitch Amora, it got worse. He was invasive, and she was pestersome. Deep down though, she was always jealous. She even slapped Gurn around a bit when she caught him eyeing me.”

Another pause. The calm was slowly being replaced with mounting panic.

“While we were waiting he was being especially...forward. At one point he grabbed me so I hit and stormed off.”

I waited with bated breath. It was like listening to soap opera. It was strange and somehow compelling. Vera must of noticed my intense interest as she let out a defeated sigh. She really didn’t want to continue but knew that it was her best shot.

“As I was wandering away I noticed something odd to the South. To this day I don’t know how they didn’t see me. I hid behind some cliffs and watched as a whole army of these grey vehicles came rolling toward the river. They were your soldiers. Normally it wouldn’t be a problem but...there were so many. I’d never seen so many. It must have been a trap. That was the only explanation, given how prepared they were. Maybe they wanted me to see them. I don’t know. All I know is that I didn’t go back. I didn’t warn the others. I waited by those cliffs and watched as they dropped fire and metal on them. There were clouds of smoke larger than us! It was...the first time I was ever legitimately frightened by your kind. I couldn’t see them. Any of them! I knew Amora and what’s-his-name were there, I could tell they had led the caravan onto the bridge but then it was all torn to shreds. They tried to move away from the river but they just kept getting bombarded...They fell. I thought they were dead…”

The whole story seemed to weigh on Vera’s conscious rather heavily, but not for the reasons I initially suspected. She didn’t seem to feel guilty, nor was she afraid. Of all emotions on the spectrum I would’ve have pegged her as simply being in a state of disbelief. It was as though the whole affair seemed out of her realm of comprehension.

“So, is that the ‘river incident’ then?”

Vera’s face immediately snapped to mine. The incredulity in her body language grew exponentially. Her mouth was wide open for a few seconds before she snapped it shut with a loud ‘clack’.

“What?”

“Amora told me about some river incident...she said it had something to do with you hurting people…”

The color started to drain from her skin. Amid her suddenly pallid complexion I noticed a nervous sweat starting to bead up. Apparently I had hit another nerve. Warily, I kept my eyes on the tips of her fingers hanging overhead. I felt like at any moment she was going to snap them shut around me. Whatever this was, she seemed even more reluctant to talk about it.

“That was a...different occasion. I think...”

“Well what happened?”

At first I expected her to shrink back into her cocoon of reservation. Then, I got the impression that she would attempt to change the subject. But, I soon learned this was not the case. The ambience was abruptly morphed into one of vulnerability. For me that is…

Vera tilted her head to the side and rolled her eyes back and forth, weighing the options in her head. She seemed like she wanted to tell me, but had some lingering hint of demur clouding her mind. Was she afraid of how I’d react, or was she more concerned about how my superiors would?

“Again, I don’t think its in my best interest to tell that story…”

“Vera…”

“Don’t ‘Vera’ me,” she spat. “I’ve been giving in to all your little inquiries since you got back. You think I enjoy this? I may not have the freedom to go or do what I like but I’m not as malleable as you may think…”

“I’m sorry, I know I haven’t been very fair!”

“No you haven’t! First you leave me here to get probed by your little cronies then you come back here and expect me to talk about all kinds of shit from my past? Throwing Amora’s name around like you have some kind of leverage. Look I don’t know what she told you but I’m sure it was mostly lies. She does that. As for me, yeah, I’ve told my fair share of lies but lets face it you never really believed anything I’ve said anyway.”

“No I-”

“Just admit it”

“Vera, its not that I-”

“Just stop it. I’m sick of you trying to worm your way into my brain. You thought I was just another stupid, oversized bitch the minute you walked in here.”

I stopped. Vera closed her mouth tightly, all the while grinding her teeth behind her lips. What was I going to do? I just stared up at her face with keen interest. Each feature was traceable. Each portion of her face was unique but they all blended together seamlessly.

Many years ago my father said to me:

“The older and more experienced you become the more you start to see people differently. Physically I mean. You notice pieces of people you’ve met in new faces. Its what makes life so complicated really…”

Those words were lost on me at the time but now I began to realize precisely what he meant. I saw pieces of girls I used to know. It was something I couldn’t just shake off. Vera had the same nose as my sister. She had the same hair as this one girl that used to sit in front of me in my Social Psychology class. Her eyes though...those were something I’d not encountered before. I’d never seen such piercing, otherworldly eyes. I’d never felt someone's gaze scythe through me so easily, as if I were made of mist.

“What?”

“I’m sorry. I-”

Vera eyes narrowed again, forcing me to look away. But where was I to look? I couldn’t stand to look at her any longer but...she was everywhere. With her fingers to my back and the entirety of her face above, below, and in front of me I had no other options.

“I think I should go…”

“No, no you don’t get to just run away this time. You might be spineless but you’re staying in here with me.”

“Well...I’m sorry, I...I don’t know what to do”

Vera rolled her eyes and finally leaned back. I watched as her entire torso stretched back until her shoulder blades made contact with the wall behind her. With a mighty slump, she slowly began to slide down toward the floor. I don’t know how, but she managed to keep her hand level. My stress was faltering and I, curious as I always was, began to trace the contours of her body one more time.

There was a frustrated groan before Vera spoke again. “Why do you always have to ‘know what to do’, why can’t you just be? Why can’t you just relax for a second?”

I waited a few seconds before voicing my response:

“I guess I don’t really have it in me anymore.”

“Anymore?”

“Things have been pretty bad since this all began. For everyone…”

Vera smirked. This time, however, it wasn’t an amused smirk. No, this time it was feigning, almost contrived.

“Are you going to try and make me feel bad for all the troubles you little things have endured?”

“No-” I responded immediately. “Just explaining why I am this way…”

When I met Vera’s eyes again I noticed a distinct change in their intensity. She was still annoyed, that much was clear, but I had a feeling her reasons were different this time. Still no sign of remorse, but there was something else there. Something I can’t quite put my finger on even now. If I were to take a guess I’d say something along the lines of disappointment. I don’t know

“Well, lets not talk about it anymore. I’m tired of talking about sad things.”

With that she shuffled her position a bit more to correct the uncomfortable bend in her neck. She pushed off the far wall with her feet until her entire body shifted up against the wall. All the while I waited and watched. Its really impossible to convey just how incredible it is to watch them move. I mean, I’m sure you’ve seen giants before, but most of time it's a terrifying experience (probably because they’re trying to kill you). But just watching them, and I mean truly watching them, is one of the most awe-inspiring things I’ve experienced. To see such massive limbs and muscles push and pull so smoothly. People got it in their heads that the giants are terribly clumsy but that is not the case at all. Despite their size, their movements are as precise as they are powerful. What was even more impressive was how easily she was able to control her opened hand as she moved about. Aside from a little tilting and jostling here and there, I remained relatively in place.

“There isn’t much that isn’t sad these days, what would you want to talk about?”

Vera didn’t seem to hear me however. Instead, she was focused on getting comfortable. She straightened out her clothes and shifted her weight from side to side until finally she was satisfied. Then, she turned back to face me:

“What was that?”

She started to bring me closer. My throat swelled up and my heart fell down into my stomach. It wasn’t anything particularly out of the ordinary, she just wanted to to deposit me on her shoulder again so that we could converse more casually. Nevertheless, there was something about her already gargantuan body seemingly becoming larger as I approached that really unnerved me. When she brought her hand up I found a forest of hair waiting in my spot. Vera wasn’t looking, so I assumed she had simply forgotten to clear a space. While I waited patiently for her to realize her mistake, I felt the ground beneath me tip forward slightly. Apparently she didn’t want to bother waiting for me to climb off and thought it necessary to “assist” me.

I stumbled forward blindly as the surface of her palm inclined more and more each second. Finally, I collapsed down through a wall of her hair. Instantly I was enveloped by darkness. I could not see or hear anything, all I could sense was the smoothness of the engulfing strands and Vera’s all too familiar scent. Seconds passed before I detected movement again. I could feel my entangled limbs being tugged every which way until finally light caught my eyes again. I squirmed free of the last of my tethers and allowed myself to fall backwards onto my side just in time to see Vera’s fingers sweeping back the locks of hair from overtop.

“Sorry”

“Its fine.”

“What did you say now?” Vera repeated as she swept her hair back behind her ear. In turn, I propped myself up against the nape of her neck and closed my eyes. If we were going to relax find the most comfortable spot available. But, before I was settled in, I felt Vera lift her shoulder slightly; no doubt to get my attention. Although it was a minor movement for her, the twitch made my head spin and my stomach heave.

“Sorry, I-ugh-I said there isn’t much that isn’t sad these days.”

I expected her to agree with me. Given how miserable she’d been those past few weeks it seemed only sensible. Then again, I should’ve known not to assume anything with her. I rewrote her psychological profile daily. Maybe it was my personal involvement in the case that corrupted me. To be honest I was not that qualified for my job, I was just the only one stupid enough to try and do it.

“I don’t believe that.”

“Really?”

“Well, being in here is pretty awful but if I was out there...I’d be content”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. Or...at least I hope I would. Maybe just the thought of being free again has me thinking that.”

It was funny really. Somehow, even when I wasn’t watching her face I felt like I could tell what expressions she was making. Vera was particularly emotive, the problem was really guessing what emotions she displayed and when. In my head I could see each flutter of her lashes and each twitch of her mouth. Secretly I knew I was getting each assumption dead wrong but it was fun to try nonetheless.

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe it doesn’t get much better. Thinking back I can’t say I was much happier when I was by myself. I mean, I felt a lot better than I do now...but I wasn’t happy.”

“What would make you happy?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever really known. That’s my problem.”

The muscles in her neck surged beneath me and I had the sudden sense that Vera’s eyes lay on me again.

“What about you?”

“Hmm, I don’t know either. I guess going back to the way things were would be a nice start.”

“You know that will never happen.”

“I know...but its all I can think about.”

Together we sighed. It was nice sharing a moment of utter misery with someone else, even if that person was a cold-hearted giant.

“So now what?” I asked. “We just sit here and wallow in our suffering?”

“No, I told you I don’t want to think about it.”

“What should we do then?”

Nothing. Vera just stared ahead at the far, translucent wall. I could tell she was thinking about the outside world again. She only listened to me when it suited her. Normally I’d be offended but hell I was just happy she wasn’t pissed at me anymore. Well, at least for the moment.

“Vera,”

“Yes?” she finally responded.

“What would happen if things were reversed and it was us ‘humans’ that were stumbling into your world...wherever that is…how would-”

I was cut off by another of Vera’s short chuckles. The slight vibrations in her chest shook me enough that I had to hold onto her skin for dear life.

“I think you know about how well that’d work.”

“Yes I suppose I do. But what about you? What would you do?”

“Ugh”

“What?”

“This another of your annoying little personality questions…”

“I guess...but I’m also curious.”

“I don’t know. It depends…”

“Depends on what?”

A tremendous thud echoed out overhead. Vera banged her head into the wall behind her and followed up with another frustrated groan.

“I guess it depends how many.”

“People?”

“Yes, people!”

Once again I felt Vera’s head move.I cautiously peered up and saw her staring at the far wall with a mixture of emotions. There was anger, yes, but there was also some fear. There was sorrow too but most of all there was regret. Did this mean Vera was finally coming around?

“Ellis, its so cold here.”

I didn’t know what she meant. For one it was late in the summer. Most of the time I couldn’t walk outside with breaking into a quick sweat. Secondly this chamber was so humid that I could feel my own skin starting to stick to hers.

“I know Vera”

But I didn’t know. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to react. But it helped me realize something. It helped me come to terms with the fact that Vera didn’t think quite as I did. I struggled to understand her demeanor because she was so incredibly alien in so many ways. I spent years learning about human behaviour, studying all the different functions of the brain and beyond. Maybe it was my lack of experience. Maybe it was my nerves. But, after all that had happened I knew that it was far more likely that I didn’t understand her because she simply wasn’t human. No matter how I might try, I’d never really understand her.

And I think that was the most frightening realization of all...

 

Warm bodies tend to breed comfort amongst mammals. It was a fact I remembered well from my freshman year at Vanderbilt. Its a curious little thing for us humans, but other animals seem to get it just fine. Its why rats went ahead and crowded around wounded soldiers in the trenches of the first World War. Its why domesticated animals often sit in their owner’s laps. In essence, it was the fabric of relation that stretched between species. A necessary foundation that linked warm-blooded creatures from the cold collective invertebrates. While many creatures would clump together around fleeting resources or shelter, it was mammals that realized the benefits of living close to one another.

Why mention it you might ask? Well it’s obvious isn’t it? Before I could never really get too comfortable with Vera. On one hand she was a large, possibly murderous, woman with a penchant for supremacy. On the other, I was doing my job, I simply didn’t have time to feel relaxed or at peace. Everything I did was focused on discovering what I could and...well...not dying. But now, after all the drama and the tantrums, after the lies and the uncomfortable truths, I felt at ease resting against the skin of her neck. The gentle rise and fall of her shoulders was disconcerting at first but after a while the rhythm became just another aspect of my position. It was as natural as the waves on a beach or the wind rushing through a field of autumn wheat. Ahh, there’s another thought. Autumn would be coming soon. I always enjoyed the fall for some reason. It really took me back to my time as a child growing up in Suburbia. The woodlands behind my house would be drenched in shades of orange and yellow. It all seemed like the haze of some imagined dream.

For once it was I that noticed the extended silence between the two of us. It seemed Vera was content to just sit and stare for a while longer. Unfortunately I knew better. If what Cyan said was true, I had a feeling that things between Vera and I would be changing very soon. Who knows, I might even be out of a job. It was all quite troubling really...as if the giants weren’t enough now I had to be looking over my shoulder for shady figures gathering intel for the Psyn Corps Command. What I really wanted to know, perhaps more than anything else, was how exactly they were doing it all. Keeping the giants at bay was one thing, but building these immense facilities, networking political and military takeovers in other camps, not to mention all the conflicts they’d been having with other outlying organizations. I mean, how is it that they are able to successfully combat the giants and the various wilderness gangs without falling to pieces when the United States Government couldn’t?

I noticed a slight tilt in Vera’s posture. Gradually, her whole torso started to slide down the wall in the direction opposite of my facing. The initial backward surge startled me enough that I clamped down onto her skin so tightly that I actually left tiny imprints. Luckily, Vera noticed the slight deviation and quickly steadied herself with her right hand. When I was confident that she was stable once more I hesitantly released my grip and inched up the top of her shoulder. It now rested at a slight thirty degree incline so it wasn’t a horribly exhausting endeavour. However, the feeling of her flesh beneath my hands and knees became alien to me. For a brief moment I forgot that I rested atop a living creature. In some unexplainable lapse of my awareness I found myself parked along the narrow crest of an impossibly high statue. Below was the mortal world that I felt compelled to rejoin. Then, the subtle twisting of muscles and warping of the skin beneath me told me that Vera’s head was swiveling about. I rolled over onto my back and caught of glimpse of my looming companion. Her head was bowed forward slightly and her eyes fluttered wildly. Something was clearly wrong with her.

“Vera...are you ok?”

“Yeah, just….got a little dizzy for a second.”

“Are you sure?”

“I said I’m fine!” she roared. But she wasn’t fine. I could see it in her posture. I watched as each breath she took became protracted. It was then I caught sight of her eyes. Both pupils were severely dilated. As if by instinct, I immediately spread my palms out over her skin to detect any major changes in body temperature. I didn’t notice any serious differences at first, but I could tell she was not feeling well.

“I don’t need you to pretend like…like...like…” Vera’s voice trailed off as she spent more and more oxygen. With a series of jerking movements she let her right arms slide along the floor so that her entire body lowered at a steady pace. The combination of the ever slanting surface beneath me and the violent fit of heaving caused me to slip from my perch and tumble down onto her neck. As soon as I landed I noted the rhythmic surge beneath me. Whilst picking myself up again I saw that I rested right above Vera’s carotid artery. Though my mind was scattered I still was calm enough to try and divulge what was happening to her.

One. Two. Three. Four. I counted each beat that pulsed up through her neck. Such a high heart rate was indicative of some kind of cardiac arrest. Blood was still getting to her brain though, that much was good.

“Vera, Vera I need you to breath!”

Just as I began to speak however she gasped wildly for air. The movement almost threw me once again. Suddenly my mind shifted from Vera’s safety to my own. Both hands anchored down against her flesh and I waited. There was nothing much I could do for her anyway. She wasn’t choking, she wasn’t having a heart attack, and there were no real violent spasms or anything of the sort. She was too young for her body to failing like this. I knew there had to be a logical explanation and after a few more seconds it became clear. Psyn Corps.

Cyan had warned me about them and now, well they had done something! I was naive, I knew that, but I never suspected anything like this was going to happen. Although my mind was preoccupied by Vera’s declining state I could not bring my body to move move an inch. My natural sense of self-preservation was too great and for a moment I thought I was about to completely shut down.

“Wha- are they...what did...you...do?”

“Vera I promise you I did not have anything to do with this.”

Curiously enough, as her vitals were spiking, she seemed to growing more mitigated. Eventually, her head slumped onto the floor. I couldn’t see her face beyond the edge of her jaw but I knew that she was still awake. Mustering what mettle was left in my bones, I leapt up off her neck and began a clumsy dash toward her torso. When I reached her collarbone I had to stop to catch my breathe. Maintaining my balance and speed while her entire body rose and fell was far more tolling than I had anticipated. After perching against one of the tendons in her neck I waited. All the while my clouded eyes remained fixed on Vera’s head. Despite her initial reaction she didn’t seem to be suffering. That was a good sign. Another minute passed, during which I attempted to map out my next course of action.

Below me was a sea of hazel threads which I could not hope to navigate, especially with Vera incapacitated. So, I decided to try to edge my way out further toward Vera’s chest and descend from there. The breathing would be a bigger problem, but hopefully the slight slant created by Vera’s torso would give me enough able ground to traverse.

Well it went about as well as you would expect. I took a deep breath, eyed my intended path warily and disastrously tried to shimmy across the field of skin between me and the edge of her milk-colored sark. I made it about three yards before I slid down a good twenty feet. For a second I managed to stabilize myself again, but another of Vera’s enormous inhalations sent be slipping down even further.

Then, darkness again. Just as before I was completely enveloped in shadow. Admittedly it was probably Vera’s hair that saved me from splattering on the ground below, so in that regard I was grateful. However it did pose another challenge that I couldn’t hope to evade. At first I kind of thought I might have been dead. It was somehow a comforting experience. To think thatI was dead after a life of troubles was a surprising relief. Just the idea that the experience itself wasn’t quite so grim and that the whole ordeal was just over and done with was immensely calming. But, then to my distant dismay, I heard Vera groan. I knew then that I was simply trapped amongst her seemingly endless locks.

“Shit” I recall screaming. Movement was difficult at first, like trudging through incredibly sticky snow. Even after I managed to free a few of my limbs I would soon get them tangled once more in some other strands. Not only that but I could tell my air was not plentiful. Oxygen ran thin like the silt along a riverbed. Something was choking me too. Then I knew that if stayed much longer I very well may actually die, and it would not be a pleasant or relaxing experience in any way.

There was thrashing, screaming, tumbling, etc. None of which really served me in any way. No progress was being made. In fact, all my panicked movement only hastened my end as more of my blood lost its vital oxygen and the stale air began to run dry. It was just after I collapsed for a seventh time that I finally decided to just close my eyes and wait.

Gravity carried me further toward the ground until finally I felt its familiar, smooth touch against my skin. Though I couldn’t see it I knew it was there. My spirit was renewed and I carefully started to squirm my way toward the floor. Moments later I was free. I don’t know what to tell you  it just sort of happened. I rolled on the ground and saw Vera lying in front of me. She was still conscious.

“Whe-where did you-”

“Vera I’m sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt but-”

“Then don’t!” she cried with an unexpected ferocity.

I instinctively edged back. She wasn’t in any position to do me any harm but I was still afraid of her. It was difficult to keep my eyes fixed. I’m not really sure if it was because I was afraid, ashamed, or simply that I couldn’t bare to look at another failing body. Eventually when I did, however, I quickly realized that Vera’s body wasn’t shutting down, but rather just being...restrained? I wasn’t a doctor, but I had seen enough dying people to know. Vera just didn’t have the right look about her. If anything it was like she had been given a heavy dose of morphine and was just fading into a opiated stupor.

“Vera, what did they do to you before I came in here?”

“I-I, nothing…”

“Did you eat anything? Did they spray some kind of gas?”

“No.”

“Ok, I need you to focus on me, alright? I don’t know what’s happening but-”

“Is this dying?”

“No Vera you are not dying!”

She looked at me with somber eyes. They were bloodshot but stern. It made my stomach synch in anxious turmoil. I had seen such bleary eyes before. In my dreams perhaps? It didn’t matter now, all I knew was that pretty soon things were going to get hairy.

Little did I know, that whatever drug they’d given was going to kick in right away. While Vera just stared blankly back at me the overhead intercom surged with violent static. The scream of the speaker bounced off the walls as it descended upon us. The deafening squeal was enough to snap Vera out of the ever thickening fog of sedation.

“Wha-”

I didn’t recognize the voice that started to speak, nor did I understand precisely what he was saying but it sounded like a warning. Only a few words were clear enough to understand. I remember “experimental” being thrown around, as well as “preliminary” but that was about it. Though I couldn’t decipher the mysterious voice’s meaning I found myself screaming back up at it. Truth be told, I don’t even remember what I was saying either. Vera shook her head with an unrefined air of disapproval.

“How do you always know what he’s saying?”

“I...listen…”

Her words bit into my skin like needles. She didn’t say them with a sharp tongue or with passionate intentions, instead they were very matter-of-fact, as though it was so obvious the entire time. Guilty thoughts flooded my brain. It didn’t help that I stood hypnotized before her brilliant blue irises as well. Whatever they drugged her with was starting to seep in a bit more. Now her demeanor was blunting. The surprise and the resistance were gone. Vera gave me a sleepy smile.

“Listen?”

“Yeah, you never listen.”

“Well I think that’s hardly fair…”

“Elllllissss” she whispered with her tongue pressed against the roof of her mouth. It was like she was drunk. “For all your effort you only...ah...ahaha”

“What?”

“You never really lisssssten. I mean, you’re better than most ssssure, but you just want to hear theee answersss to your wittle questions.”

“Well what else are we supposed to talk about all the time?”

“Aaahahah, oh you’re cute wheeen you get all seerus”

“What?”

“S-s-seeeeeries, no…”

“Ok look why don’t we take a step back for a second. I need to find out what’s happening to you!”

But Vera had stopped listening. Her forehead made a tremendous thud as it smacked down onto the floor. Startled, I scuttled back twenty feet. Like the waters of a rapid, I felt Vera’s breath surge across the white surface and swirl around my legs. It was an uncomfortable feeling. It was really a combination of the fact that I was confused and that I knew a giant under the influence of some kind of intoxicant was likely cause for concern. I quickly learned that was a correct assumption.

As I inched back toward the far wall I looked over my shoulder. I had no way of getting back up to the surrounding platform. The outer edge was at least fifteen feet high. Not only that it was completely smooth so climbing was out of the question.

Then the intercom cut in once more. The voice was different this time. I could make out the hidden inflections and modulations of Constable Treble’s unique tone. The first bit was clear:

“This is no time for games Ellis…”

Of course he’d say that. But who’s playing games? I was doing my job, they knew that, but then those Psyn Corps guys had to come start pumping my subject full of god-knows-what. If anyone was playing its them, and let me say this much: they were playing with fire. They knew it. I knew it. Everyone knew it! Yet, they still did it. Its terrifying, true, but it was also real. Which is what concerned me the most.

“Leave me to my work!” I furiously bellowed at the ceiling. I doubted they could really hear me but it was a nice way to blow off some steam. When I brought my attention down once more I saw Vera had recentered her focus on me once again. The old hungry look she used to give me was frozen on her face. Without so much as thinking I turned to run.

Another tremor kept me from getting too far. The ground shook, sending me up and then back down again on my stomach. The wind was temporarily knocked out of me, but with a few tortured gasps I managed to fill my lungs once again. I rolled over and saw Vera’s hand laying not ten feet behind me. Had she miscalculated her reach I would have been nothing more than a red puddle. Then again, maybe she did…

“Ellllisssss…” she whined. I blinked rapidly, trying to connect words into sensible sentences. “why are yooo leaving?”

“Vera, I don’t think it's safe for me to stay in here any longer.”

“Pfffffffssshhh, non-since you can stay here with meeee.”

“No, Vera, I think its probably better if I get away from you right now.”

Vera opened her mouth as if yawning and furrowed her brow. Feigning offense, she proceeded to chide me:

“Ruuuuuude, Ellisss come here!”

She stretched her arm out a bit further and arched her hand around me so that it formed twenty-some foot barrier at my back. I managed to get to my feet just as she started dragging her palm closer. You remember that scene from Indiana Jones? God, its weird to think of movies after all of this, it seems like just a series of unjust comparisons. Anyway, you remember how he was running away from that giant rolling rock thing? Yeah it was just like that, I ran as fast as my lanky legs could carry me. At some point along the way I decided not to look over my shoulder. I figured if I saw just how close her hand was I’d either trip myself up or just decide to quit. If I was to be crushed, I’d rather it be a surprise.

Now, I’m not a particularly fit person, but my god if I ran like I did then back when I was in high school I would have made the track team, no doubt about it. She corralled me back toward her face. Eventually I just couldn’t keep up. The side of her hand slammed into my back. I could hear my spine pop. But, as if by some miracle (or physics), I was not flattened. Instead her hand actually carried me closer.

“You know w-wwut? I don’t thik I eva got a gooooood look at you.”

Moments later I reopened my eyes. Her hand stopped just ten feet from her right eye. I slid down off the side of her palm and clapped down onto the white surface. Her pupils were far larger than they should’ve been. A second later she blinked. It was honestly a grotesque but mesmerizing sight. Human, or in this case a giant’s, eye was really a pretty strange thing when you get a close enough look. All the irregularities in her iris, all the veins and retina creeping around the pearly sclera. Bleccch.

“I dun no wut they diiiid but I kinda lik it…”

“Vera, you need to listen to me, you are not well, I have to get out of here so I can find out what happened.”

“Nooooooo” she whined again like a child. I had nowhere to go from here. Either she’d relent and let me go, or I’d just have to sit here and wait for...whatever.

After peeling my attention from her I swiveled my head to the right. The rest of her face lay still in a mask of muted elation. It was really quite terrifying.

“You kno what?”

“W-what?” I stammered back. It felt like the tendons in my hands were going to snap as I was gripping my satchel so tightly.

“If you were just...llliiike two thousand times biggerrr, I could stand to fuuuck you!”

“Uhh, Vera…”

“No, nooooo, listen….sure you a bit young for my tastes but you’re not that faaaar off. Like maybe its juuuust that I-I’ve beeen in here fur sooo looong but…”

“Vera you don’t know what you’re saying…”

“Uuggggggghhh!” she groaned entirely too loudly. I was forced to shield my ears, although most of the disturbance subsided by the time I did. Her outburst was complemented by a lazy roll of her eyes. The whole process made me shutter.

“Don’t geeeet so uptight. I’m juuuust sayin”

The ground vibrated slightly. I turned around and saw that Vera had withdrew her hand a bit. A stream of water running down from the corner of the room separated me from her palm. It snaked down toward the drain and disappeared behind her arm. That gave me an idea.

“Vera…”

“Besides do you reallllly find me soooo objenial errr objectial, dammit-”

“Vera…”

“I mean, I’ve just been trapped, I haven’t done iiiitt is such a looooong tiiiime”

“VERA!” I eventually screamed.

Immediately her eyes narrowed. She wasn’t pleased, but certainly didn’t seem angry either. I’m sure that if the drug had not taken effect she would have been furious with me.

“WHAT?” she echoed back with fairly equitable fervor.

“I thought that maybe...we’d try playing our game of questions again. What do you think?”

It was the first time I knew I made the right choice.Vera’s eyes immediately lit up. Before I could continue on however, she launched into her first question.

“Ok, would you fuuuck me then? If the situashuuun were right and all?” No sooner had she spoken, she began to adjust her position again. With a great deal of effort she lifted her head up off the floor and held it aloft in her hand. Half of her hair hung disastrously over her face, shielding most of it from sight.

“Uhh, I don’t think it would be very appropriate of me to do something like that…”

“What?” she said. I realized I’d have to keep my statements short and sweet if she was going to keep up with them.

“I think it wouldn’t be a good idea Vera”

“Oooooh come on.”

“No I just don’t-”

“Well if nooone of this happened what then?” Vera gestured to the rest of the room with an exaggerated sweep of her left arm.
I tried not to think about it. Vera was still my enemy after all, but, just like any woman, she got me thinking things I didn’t feel comfortable thinking.

“Vera, that's two questions, its my turn…”

Her curiosity quickly gave way to poutiness.

“N-n-no fun”

I was prepared this time. I would not be routed by her mental machinations.

“Ok Vera, outside of what you have told me so far, what has been your worst experience since you got here.”

Vera’s first response was subtle. She tilted her bobbing head to one side an scrunched up her mouth. I watched as her gaze traversed the rest of the chamber before finally resting on my diminutive figure once more. She looked on with mismatched suspicion. I didn’t expect her to just answer without such a reaction, in fact I was counting on it.

“Why?”

“Are you going to answer or not?”

“Maaayybeee I won’t”

“I’m just curious is all…”

She kept staring at me. After a little while she licked her lips and started humming something. It was starting to get distracting. I didn’t even know the giants knew anything about music. I guess it was innate.

“You know whaaaat I h-h-hate the most abutt allll thiis?”

“No?”

“Its that yoooouuu little people don’t listeeen. I’ve sssssaid it befooor and ill say’it ‘gain.”

“So?”

“Sooooo?” she repeated in a mocking tone. “so they shoulddda jusss lissid to mee! If they just got out and scurrieeed off like the bugs they were I wouldn’t a had to do that…”

“Do what?” Now I was thoroughly intrigued.

“There wwwuss so many of ‘em. You know, I don’t even know if I’m sorry eeeder.”

“Vera, you’re not making any sense.”

Again she groaned. It apparently took so much effort that her entire head slipped from her grasp and thudded against the ground again. Then she laughed a little.

“Vera?”

“Ohhh Ellis I shoulddan’ of drowned all those people…”

 

My father liked clocks. I mean real, honest to god clocks. Pocket Watches, grandfathers, old hickory pieces you had to wind up with a key, you name it. He used to keep a silver chain in his pocket that belonged to my great grandfather. Apparently when he was fifteen, my father lost the watch that went along with it somewhere in the woods. I remember my father would always tear up when he told that story. He never really forgave himself for that. So he kept the chain with him wherever he went because, as he liked to put it, he was going to find it one day. Maybe it would be sitting on the desk in his officer or waiting for him on a bench in the subway. I don’t know why he was so convinced by his own little story, but I liked it. Even with all his jokes and silliness he was very serious about that one in particular.

I liked to think about clocks every now and again...they reminded me of him. Especially now with my face pressed against the wash of Vera’s breath. Each wave of air came in a ticking rhythm. It was like she was measuring out her life by the invisible movements of a single clock hand. I reached into my pocket and felt around for something that would help me regain my composure. The chain wasn’t there, must’ve left it in my bags. The pills, however, they were waiting for me. Surprisingly, my shaky little hand managed to unscrew the cap. A splash of half inch capsules spilled from the bottle into the deeper corners of my pocket. The tremors shook them wildly as they fell. A few tumbled out of my pockets and scattered on the floor below me. Dammit, I just needed one.

In my desperation I grabbed far too many. What happened next was somewhat of a blur. I remember stuffing three of the tiny white pellets in my mouth. Then, Vera stirred again. She started to say something but, if I remember correctly, it was just mumbled gibberish. With everything that had been going on I felt the need to take the edge off a bit. My condition was getting worse and Vera’s recent poisoning wasn’t helping.

“Uuuughhh, Ellissss?” Vera suddenly droned, giving me quite a scare.

“Y-y-yes?”

“I’mmm so tiired.”

“I know, Vera, I know…”

She looked at me with a less humor in her eyes than before. Something very concerning sat on her mind. Did she realize what she had just revealed to me? Was she finally coming to her senses?

“If I sleep. Will I-I-I death?”

“Will you death?”

Vera shut her eyes and nodded calmly.

“No, I don’t think so Vera.”

She let out muffled ‘good’ and started to doze off. This is where things got kind of blurry. My limbs shook with an intensity I had not felt prior. My head was flooded with blood, not unlike the feeling you get when held upside down. Although my mind was telling me to get the hell out of there I knew my body would not abide it. I thought that maybe if I just sat down for a while then perhaps I’d be good to go in just a few minutes. Well, as you might have guessed, that didn’t happen. Instead, the noxious grip of immobility locked my legs. I felt it in the core of my body before anything else. Like something was snagging at my organs. Immediately, I buckled over. My shoulder smacked against the white floor. The shooting pain in my joints was the least of my worries however. My brain seemed to unhinge. Dark revelations and memories flooded back in. Waltzing patterns of grim carnage, tints of blue and yellow, along with the long drone of some ambiguous engine was all that I perceived from that point on. That is, until unconsciousness conquered me.

Like I said, I don’t remember what happened after that. As a general rule it's never a good idea to overdose on anything. Of course, I was pretty surprised how quickly those pills worked. I’d later learn that I did not pass out completely, but...well I’ll get to that soon. When I did regain my sensible awareness I found myself lying awkwardly on the ground. My head hurt beyond any conceivable comparison and my extremities felt clammy. Not only that but there was something over me.

“Oh good, you’re not dead. I was afraid I’d get blamed for that.”

Despite the horrible ache in the back of my skull I rocketed up into a seated position. Over me was a thick, stretchy white cloth. The edges were jagged and frayed. It would seem somebody had torn it free from some larger length of fabric. Well, I only had the one suspect.

“Vera? What happened?”

“I don’t know, but whatever it was I was gone...I hadn’t felt like that since. Damn, probably when we found that distillery back North…”

Like clockwork, my head whirred around as I lapped up my surroundings. The edges of my vision were still blurry, and it remained that way even after I wiped some of the residual tears from my eyes. I pulled away the makeshift blanket covering the rest of my body and tried to stand. Through some coughing and heaving I managed to get to my feet. I went ahead and inspected my limbs and found that they had stopped shaking. In fact, so much blood was flowing through them that they all were an unhealthy shade of scarlet. Every finger had its own little heartbeat, as though I’d taken a fatal amount of Nitric Oxide.

“What are you doing?” Vera asked me in a low, sleepy voice.

“I don’t...I don’t know. What? I think I overdosed.”

“Overdosed? On what?”

“I-nothing.”

“No, hold up.”

“What?” I replied quickly. The slowly increasing volume of Vera’s voice left my ears ringing. Or was it something else entirely?

“Isn’t in my turn to ask a question?”

“I-I don’t know. Are we even still doing that? I mean, you were just drugged a second ago? Are you not concerned about that?”

Vera let her head fall into hand. I noticed the muscles in her abdomen tense up as she brought both of her legs closer to her torso. Now her body formed a slight crescent around me. I have to say she seemed pretty apathetic about everything that had just happened.

“Well, lets say we are…” she continued, “I want to know, why are you overdosing? You trying to get away from me by killing yourself?” The playfulness in her tone was pretty unnerving. I mean, it all was pretty overwhelming but that especially got under my skin.

“Vera, do you remember what happened?”

“Not all of it...I remember getting pretty spaced out and then I rambled on for a while I’m sure. That’s kind of what I do when I get drunk...but you know this was different.”

I was starting to worry just how much she remembered telling me. Was it worth bringing up? What if she got mad? Oh, who am I kidding, of course she’d get mad. That’s what she does in situations like this. Maybe she did and was hoping I didn’t. Dammit who really knows?

“Hold on, hold on I-”

“Ughhh just answer.”

I thought about it for a while. It wasn’t necessarily anything worth hiding but at the same time it was none of her business. We had to keep some things private right? Well, I guess I hadn’t been that considerate of such things when I was asking her. It was disgusting how quickly I came around like that. Staring back at myself in the mirror where I kept probing with the same damn inquiries, the same damn foolish curiosity. It would likely get me killed yet. Maybe not by Vera, but at someone’s hands.

“Look its just this thing I’ve got…”

“What kind of thing?” As she asked she raised her eyebrows and tilted her head back. The dissipating rays of sunlight reflected over the glassy surface of her eyes. For a second she existed only as a phantom in my mind. She was more or less composed only of solid light. A cascade of brown around a mellowed face. Two icy blue stars beaming out into the misty world that I stood in. We were irreconcilably separated at that moment. I think we both started to realize how impossible it would be for either of us to get used to one another. It was about that point I noticed the piece missing from the bottom of her shirt. A strip had been peeled off at the edge. The fabric was so thin it looked to have been an easy endeavor and I couldn’t help but feel a little reassured by the gesture.

“Its a trauma thing.” Was I all I felt like responding. “They call it Conversion disorder.”

Vera just stared back at me. My guess was that she didn’t know how to respond to my answer. I guess that’s pretty natural. Despite their seeming sociopathy I doubt they have much exposure of direct mental illness. That’s not to say that I was suffering from one! Or, well, you know...you know how I am.

“How’d that happen?” she eventually asked.
“Just...shit happens is all…”

Vera nodded slightly then let out a weary yawn. My time here was growing exhausting. So much had happened in such a short amount of time and I had so little to go off of.

“Vera did you give me this blanket...er scrap?”

Although it was clear that she had, I wanted her to admit it. Vera gave her usual eye roll and sighed an exasperated sigh. She was still being difficult.

“Don’t go getting all clingy on me. You should’ve seen yourself, you were shaking like crazy. I thought you were dying of that hippo- whatever you called it. I couldn’t risk picking you up so...yeah whatever.”

I couldn’t help keeping myself from smiling. It was nice to know someone was looking out for me. All my preconceptions about Vera were rearranged. Sure, she still had her sadistic streak but she could at least be reasoned with. I’m not the most likable person out there but the fact that she was able to at least develop some concern for me meant that she would probably really go for other, more charismatic humans at the very least.

“Vera, what would you say about meeting others?”

She frowned. “Other what?”

“People”

“Uhhh haha, yeah I don’t think so…” she said very matter-of-factly. I thought to press her further but at that point I didn’t have the energy.

“Why not?”

Vera turned away from me and let her head slide down the length of her arm until it rested against her bicep. I started to take a few hesitant steps toward her head.

“Ellis I know you must think that after all of this that I’m not as bad as everyone thinks I am, but I really am. And I know you’re probably thinking that I probably would like you little humans more after talking to you but I don’t ok? I just don’t. Nothing has changed.”

“Fair enough-”

“And look, about what I said earlier…”

“huh?”

“At the river…”

“I thought you didn’t remember that…”

“I lied...look. I’d rather not relive all that ok? You’ve been more considerate than I’ve let on, but if you do anything for me just forget about that ok?”

“Alright”

Then another silence rested its head between us. This silence was massive, it was shaggy and spoke in a rhotic grumble. I said nothing out of respect for Vera’s wishes. Vera remained quiet, I suspect, out of fear of what I might say next.

“I should get going” I eventually squeaked out. Vera made no gesture to confirm if she had heard me. So I stepped closer. Vera kept her eyes off of me all the while. Eventually, I was next her arm. Just above it rested Vera’s face. I raised one hand and awkwardly placed it on her skin. Again she made no sign of acknowledgment.

When I did withdraw I felt a tremendous force slam against the ground behind me. I wheeled around and saw Vera’s left hand waiting flat against the ground with her palm turned upward. I climbed aboard as nervously as ever and took a seat in the center of her hand. Vera didn’t move for a while. Instead we just stared at each other.

Finally she lifted me up and carried me gingerly to the edge of the outer walkway. I disembarked and turned back to face her. After she withdrew her hand she sat up in a lazy posture, supported by the wall behind her.

“I think I should’ve killed you before it was too late…” she droned back over to me. Normally I would’ve at least been made nervous by such a statement, but I think I had finally grown calloused against her cutting remarks.

“Too late for what?”

She gave me her usual smirk. “It doesn’t matter, its already too late.”

I was somehow satisfied by that. I turned to go but just as I reached the door Vera spoke up once more. Her words were deeper, more measured than most other times. I angled my head back in her direction as she spoke:

“Ellis…”

“Yes?” I responded quite loudly, so as to ensure she heard me this time.

“Don’t destroy me for what I am...I can’t help it.”

I couldn’t say anything to that. I just couldn’t. I paced back down the hallway and through the open portico. No one waited for me in the atrium. Thank god. I think I’d need to be alone for a little while. But, my foresight caught ahold of me again. I knew that after all the shit that just went down I’d need some answers...and fast.

Like a mouse poking its head out of cover, I cautiously peered up the stairwell, half expecting a troop of brutish grey-clad men to be waiting for me near the top. The empty tower was...well...just that: empty. With trepid step I ascended the first set of squeaky stairs. When I reached the first landing I turned about and waited again, trying desperately to detect any possible trap that may be waiting for me. I walked the next set of stairs at a bit of a faster pace. Then I paused again...and so it went until finally I was on the main floor once more.

There was only a slight clamor down the hall. Aside from that it was relatively abandoned. I continued to wait, my eyes keenly scanning the various doors and adjoining annexes out of which someone might emerge. I don’t know why, it just felt like shit was about to get so much worse.

Sure enough, as I stepped out into the main corridor I heard a voice from behind me:

“That was very reckless of you Ellis.”

The voice dropped heavily onto me like a great stone. My feet halted and I, in the same manner as a disobedient child, slowly turned to face my addresser.

“Constable Mica?”

“Censor will be looking for you. You interrupted one of his…”

“Experiments? I didn’t authorize this! He can’t just-”

But then another voice rebounded off of me. This one was deeper and more severe. It was accompanied by the clap of boots on the linoleum.

“I’m afraid we can just do that Gulliver.”

I turned back around. The same grey-clad officer who had sent me away to Camp Echo waited with a troop of guards behind him. He had a muted look on his face. It was not evil, it was not sadistic like some predictable movie villain. No, instead he looked dutiful, like a good soldier. I guess that’s just what they all were: good soldiers.

“Sir, with all due respect, you can’t just start-”

“Let me stop you right there.” Censor droned with an upheld hand. All the rage and instinct inside of me told me to just keep arguing, but my conditioned sense of rank kept my counter at bay. “You are authorized to interview our subjects, make recommendations for their termination, and compile psychological profiles. So far, you have done two of those three things. You are not, however, authorized to pass judgment on any further tests we feel necessary to conduct.”

When he was done speaking I remained silent. I wasn’t sure if he was going to start speaking again! Eventually, he raised his left eyebrow, no doubt curious as to why I had no response. Stumbling over my words, I retorted:

“Sir, you...you can’t just start doing all this shit if it's going to affect my work. Its not right. What did you even do to her in there anyway? I could’ve have been killed!”

“There was a reason you were not allowed through when you got here Gulliver…”

It was then I noticed the same soldier who stopped me waiting at attention just behind Censor. Though his face was as stoic as the rest of them I could see a tiny flame of anger in his eyes as my gaze passed over him. I swallowed hard and tried to formulate a suitable response. No conversations were easy anymore. That’s what it had become;  humans distrusting humans. Nothing made any sense anymore. Maybe that’s what the giants wanted from us all. Their society had no structure, no trust, no empathy. Maybe they were jealous and wanted to destroy ours as well. Who knows.

“Colonel Censor, perhaps we can discuss this in a more private setting…” Mica interjected as he peered warily over his shoulder.

“It is fine Constable Mica, everyone here is quite aware of what is going on…”

“Except for me it would seem!” I unexpectedly screamed at them. Mica was a tad shocked by my sudden aggression. Censor seemed unphased.

“We’ve simply been testing our options is all.”

“Chemical weapons…” Mica added. This incensed a flash of anger in the Colonel. He regarded Mica with a twisted scowl before melting back to his previous calm.

“Its nothing…” Censor added. “Just something that we hope will make them a little more...agreeable. Shame you had to get caught in the midst of it. We were convinced it would kill you.”

I was truly dumbfounded. I had no concept of retribution to fulfill. Maybe it was just knowing that I had miraculously survived a chemical overdose. Maybe it was having more insight into the Corps workings, and even still I wonder if I might just have been a little relieved. Vera was unstable, I knew that, but she wasn’t a lost cause. Truth be told at that moment I would not have wanted to meet her anywhere where she would have the absolute upper hand. As such, the knowledge that we had a potential weapon that might be able to maintain them...well it was as reassuring as you probably think.

“You need to tell me these things…” I said in a near whisper. No one acted as though they heard me. Instead everyone just stood in a long, painful silence.

“Ellis could I speak to you for a second…” Mica asked. But, before I could even turn my head to even look at him, Censor gave a wave of his hand. Four of his attending goons stepped over to Mica and seized his arms.

“I don’t think that we’ll have time for that.” Censor coldly stated. My eyes grew wide and I rushed over to Mica side. As soon as I drew near a black glove appeared out of nowhere and socked me in the face. The next thing I knew I felt my face pressed against the cold, dusty floor. The blow had reawakened the throbbing ache in my brain. I was totally immobilized. A case of tinnitus dulled my hearing. Luckily my sight was still intact.

I could see Mica dragged away into the far hallway. I wanted nothing more than to jump to my feet and rush to his aid, but my limbs did not respond. A pair of strong hands grabbed ahold of my arms and hoisted me off the ground. The ascent must have snapped a little more sense into me as I was suddenly able to hear and feel again. I teetered from one side to the other. It would seem the strike would leave me reeling for a while longer.

“So, sorry about that Gulliver, but we do not like to have our business interrupted. Surely you understand this do you not?”

I nodded. Nothing could’ve have convinced me to look that snake in the eye. I was so wracked with doubt, with fear, perhaps with a little grief as well. Gah, I don’t even know. I just remember feeling terrible. What was going to happen now? Everything was changing.

“Where is Treble?” was all I could ask.

“He’s here, have no doubts of that...although I do not know how long he’ll remain.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s being reassigned. He is needed in the South...in Old Bravo.”

It was insane! Old Bravo was a place where humans went to die. I don’t know what they thought they’d accomplish there. Or maybe they did...it was a terrifying thought.

My knuckles tightened. Each finger locked against one another in resolute fists. Out of the corner of my eye I could barely see Censor’s flat face. I was ready to break his nose, and I would have done it too. But things happen. Things always happen...rather unexpectedly at that. It was those sorts of moments that made me think about idea of parallel worlds. In one world I would have agreed with this man. In another, i’d have already attacked him. In a third I would be dead and in a fourth he’d be dead too. Even then, there would be one out there where none of this existed. Where I wasn’t in Camp Juliet, where I wasn’t a psychologist, and where the panic stricken soldier didn’t run up to us saying:

“Echo calls for aid!”

 

Like every highschooler, I hated summer reading. One July, just before my senior year, I was supposed to read Goethe’s Faust. I never imagined how much I’d come to appreciate it. At the time it was just another dull, laborious endeavour. Now, things were different. Well, I guess things have been different in almost every respect, but this especially brought that dusty old book to mind. At one point, whilst talking to Mephistopheles, Faust asks who he is, to which the devil replies:

“I am part of that power which eternally wills evil and eternally works good.”

That was always a curious quote. How can one will evil but do good? How can someone who is consumed by malice and sinister intention be the driving force behind the just deeds of the world? Back then I thought about it a lot. It wasn’t until recently I decided that the answer was in the question itself. To will evil against those who do not share in such beliefs conjure good deeds from them. At least that’s how things seemed. Some of the greatest acts kindness in human history come amidst the cruelest.

That brought another question to mind however. One that, I regret to say, I have not yet found an answer to. Can someone be unconscious of evil action, or is it purposeful intention that makes it evil? Can these giants be truly considered evil if they do not think they are committing acts of evil? Some seem to think themselves completely justified in their pursuit of domination. Same goes for humans it would seem. Justice is a growing rarity in this world, but it's not dead yet.

That was all that sat on my mind as I piled my belonging into the back of the transport. Each bag crashed against the metal floor with a harrowing thud. Behind me a line of blue clad men waited with their own duffel bags. I heard a few coarse snickers as I tried to heave the last of my belongings on board. It wasn’t my fault my arms had basically given up on me. After narrowly avoiding my death in the chamber I thought I would be entitled to a little relaxation. Unfortunately the broadcast came in pretty soon after I reemerged. We had to ‘adjust’ our schedules. Apparently the two males they spotted near Echo were hell bent on reaching the camp and Cinna, along with the rest of his twisted little band, were nowhere to be found. Everyone assumed they fled. It was only a matter of time until the entire encampment was completely wiped out. What they expected me to do...well I had no clue at the time. The plan was to leave the next morning but Constable Grim demanded we pack everything in the vehicles as soon as possible. Apparently they couldn't spare any of the usual vans so I’d have to tag along with rest of infantry. It was going to be rough trip.

Another round of snide laughter made its way around me. I was in no mood to deal with these meat heads but starting something now would only cause problems for me tomorrow. After I finally managed to pack away what I could, I felt a row of rock-hard knuckles slam in between my shoulder blades. The force caused me to collide with the bed of the truck, practically knocking the wind out of me. I managed to steady myself with my sprained limbs. An obnoxious chorus of hateful jeers and laughter kicked up. I spun around and met a familiar, square faced thug.

“Come on Deck, you can’t be too rough on the boy, how else we gonna make friends with the titanic cunts?” one soldier chided. The others whipped up into an approving roar. Deck smiled wickedly as he delivered another heavy blow to the stomach. I doubled over with both arms clutching my abdomen. There were no officers here to save me this time. My mouth tasted like iron and mud. Spitting out what filth I could I tried to get back to my feet. As I lifted my head I saw deck wheeling his leg back to deliver a brutal kick to my ribs. I winced and waited for the vicious blow. Luckily though, it didn’t come. Instead there was another familiar voice.

“Hey now, all of you cut that shit out!”

Whoever it was they had a strange drawl. I reopened my eyes and saw a pair of greasy leggings speed down through the crowd. Looking up further I saw an angry, oil stained face scowling at my attacker. Zinc held a tire iron in his right hand, poised to crush Deck’s skull. The jarhead’s malicious joy quickly turned to focused anger. His meaty hands rolled into clenched fists that I was almost certain would lash out at my would be savior. Yet, much to my surprise, he remained motionless.

“This is my depot now, if you motherfuckers start shit I’ll report every one of you to the Constables...that is after I’ve given you what ya deserve!”

The laughter had long since departed. Everyone tried their best to look innocent, though I could tell deep down inside they were just a few words away from tearing into the poor mechanic. It was a nerve wracking moment. Nothing I could do would help at this point, so I just waited. Deck gave an uneasy smile, as if to blow the whole threat off. With a nod of his head the other men started loading their stuff into the truck. Zinc stepped back and knelt down beside me.

“Alright there kid?” he muttered, his eyes still locked onto Deck. I gave a quick nod before attempting to wheeze out a response.

“Yeah I’ll...be...fine”

Zinc and an unknown figure to my right helped me to my feet. As I turned to face the stranger I found he too was a militiamen. He had a young face painted with a hidden terror.

“Thanks,” was I all I said. The soldier gave me a silent nod and filed back into line. Then I turned to Zinc who gave me a reassuring slap on the back. I returned the gesture and dusted myself off.

“This will become a regular occurrence, you know that right?”

In a way it already had. I didn’t want to make him worry though so I gave a slight shrug. My voice hadn’t completely returned  yet, so talking was not something I aimed to do.

“You sure you’re going to be ok out there?” he asked me.

“Well..I...I’ll be fine.”

“What do they even want from you anyway? You’re no soldier.”

At first I gave him a feigning smile. It was mostly just to hide the fact that I had no idea. Ok, that’s not completely true, but it just seemed foolish. If what everyone said was going to happen actually happened, I’d just be another body for them to find later. Even that wasn’t certain.

“I just have to see what I can wrench out of Amora.”

“Who?”

“The- other one.”

“Ah”

“So, we’ll see, Vera won’t take it well.”

“That’s the one here right?”

“Yeah that’s right”

“Well, I’m no psychotherapist but if I’ve learned anything over the years its that women, no matter what size, are impossible to please.”

“You’re tellin’ me”

The next morning I awoke earlier than usual. My body was manifesting my stress physically. It had kept me up most of the night and left my mind restless enough that I woke at five in the morning. Try as I might, I knew I wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep. So, with the sun still hidden by the skyline, I stumbled out of the small room that I had stayed in. Since my usual quarters had been torn to bits, I was assigned a small, lumpy cot in one of the barrack tents. I remember it stunk of sweat and mildew. It was so bad that when I finally was free of its pervading stench I instinctively let out a sigh of relief. The roads were empty and the air was cold. Aside from the roving lights attached to the guard towers dotting the encampment, it was mostly dark.

At some point I felt I had to tell Vera that I was leaving early. I mean, she was expecting me to visit her today at some point. Unfortunately I knew the convoy was scheduled to head out at eight, so I didn’t have very much time. Whilst pacing down the lonely paths, kicking up the gravel and dust as I went, I started thinking about what I was going to do when this was all over. Vera and Amora wouldn’t last forever. Either they’d somehow get free or they’d be executed. That was, if Psyn Corps found no further use for them.

“Fuck it,” I said rather loudly. I had made the decision to go to main facility and see Vera. I had nothing better to do and I had a feeling if I didn’t tell her I was leaving her anger would be unsurmountable.

Along the way I started to think about all the bullshit that I’d have to deal with in Echo. It was almost like having a premonition. I could see every little detail and here every biting word. It was a rather sickening series of visions. Then I started to shiver. I wasn’t sure if the drugs were wearing off or if it was just from the cold morning air. Either way I’d need more pills for the trip. I made a mental note to see Cyan before I left.

The facility waited idly in the gloom like some primeval monolith. The warping shadow of the night blurred the construct’s outline, making it seem both larger and smaller than it actually was. How is that possible? I don’t know, that’s just how I remember it. Its weird, yes, but the whole situation was weird. I felt like some Elizabethan character sneaking into the castle in which his lover dwelled. Only there was no castle and no lover.

When I saw the stairway leading to the main monitoring level I started to have second thoughts. Only a single sentry waited out front next to the stairs. He was a tall figure, who seemed to be leaning most of his weight along one of the posts. How did I even know that I could get in? Even if I did how was I gonna get in with Vera? Perhaps most importantly how would Vera react? She was probably sleeping after all.

Strangely enough I wasn’t really registering the fact that I was still moving forward. All the doubts in my head would normally have left me frozen in place, but this time something carried me onward. It was strange to consider it, even as it was happening.

The guard didn’t notice me at first. In fact it wasn’t until I was within arms reach that he finally perked up. The bleary sleepiness in his eyes was enough to make my own eyelids droop a bit.

“Wha- what is it?” he muttered between long draws of breath.

“Soldier, there’s an incident down by the well…”

“What well?”

“The one, down the road there, I- I don’t remember what its tag is…”

“Its not my….” but the poor man nodded off again. Had it not been for his incurable fatigue my bluff would never have gotten through. I gave him a quick slap on the shoulder and he perked up once more.

“Whu-”

“Soldier, a Captain just asked me to come get you, I think you better go!”

The slight raise in volume must’ve convinced him I was telling the truth. He raised both eyebrows and hoisted his rifle up against his shoulder.

“Alright I a..a….” he started to mutter something else but it was lost amidst his shuffling footsteps as he wandered out into the darkness. Poor sod, he’d probably get in a heap of trouble for that but...fuck it, I needed to do this.

When I was inside the halls were mostly empty. Mostly. Naturally there were night monitors, keeping tabs on Vera whilst she slept. However, the number of staffers was drastically smaller. As I paced nervously down the hallways I only recall passing two souls, both of whom seem wracked with their own sleep deprivation. I gave them slight nods as I passed, though I don’t think either noticed me. The main monitoring deck was being manned by two pale men who looked almost like twins. I didn’t want to intrude, lest they realize that I was not supposed to there. But, after poking my head in the door I was able to catch a few glimpses of Vera’s resting body on the various screens. She lay on her side with her limbs curled up and a splash of hair blanketing most the area around her cranium.

Now, I didn’t suspect getting into the room to be a challenge, I mean I was able to just walk in during the day, what kind of security could they have at this hour? Well I soon learned that it wasn’t even necessary. You see, after making the journey down the zig-zagging stairs and entering into the transitionary atrium I found that all power had been shut in this sector. At first I couldn’t believe it. I tried every lever I could but nothing happened. Hmmm, damn. There had to be another way in. That’s when I had what some might call a terribly “risky” idea. I immediately bounded back up the stairs, passing the main floor, and continuing up until I reached the top level of the building.

The fifth story was even more abandoned than the others. In fact it looked like no one had been there in months. This must have been mostly for storage or something. It was packed with filing cabinets, crates, boxes, I mean you name it. I pushed past a stack of two-by-fours and ran through the main hallway toward the primary access shaft. You see, when I arrived I was given the blueprints on the facility to review for any “potentially psychologically harmful designs”. I know, it sounds ridiculous and I hated looking it over at the time but damn was I happy that I had. You see, the main chamber has a sort of sliding door which was locked in place by four metal joints. Aside from the main entrance, the drain, and the dispensary, the maintenance shaft in which these joints were found was the only way in. When closed, the shaft is just another narrow chute, but when the joints are opened there is just enough room for someone my size to slip through.

When I did finally reach it I found a large white door waiting for me next to a gigantic fuse box. The door had all kinds of warnings plastered on it, but I was far past warnings at this point. I opened the control door and looked over the hundreds of switches. In the dim light I could barely make out the faded tags, but with some added scrutiny I finally saw the one that said “door locks”. I reached up to flip it to the off position. Then I stopped. I think it was that point that I realized the severity of precisely what I was about to do. If anyone found out...well, incarceration would be a best case scenario. Damn it, it was too late now. I shut my eyes and flipped the switch.

With the deed done I turned my attention to the white door. Without hesitation I swung the door aside and peered down the long maintenance shaft leading into a blackness below. There was a ladder to the side. It looked….unstable. Let’s leave it at that. I won’t bore you with the details of my descent but it was rather harrowing. Each step felt like another chance to fall to my death. The little light that seeped in from the main chamber gave some necessary guidance but beyond that it was an immensely dangerous endeavour. Five stories later I stepped down onto solid earth. The bottommost  lock lay shifted back. The enormous metal hook that served as its anchor allowed the dim illumination from the main chamber to swarm over me. I blinked meekly before climbing through.

I ended up in the same hall that I always walked through, only this time the enormous vault door was off to my right, closed. For some reason I started to count my steps as I walked out into the main chamber. It was something I hadn’t done since my first visit. Somehow it just felt appropriate.

And then there she was. Vera, slumped over on her side in the middle of room. Only two orange spotlight painted their warm glow over the room. The two beams struck Vera’s body directly. One cast down over her knees, while the other landed directly on her shoulder.

I know I’ve said it before but the sheer grandeur of the giants is unmatched in this world. Most people only knew terror when they saw their hulking forms contrasted against the pale blue sky. Up close however, there was something even more imposing about their immensity. Having to stretch your neck in each direction just to see them from end to end...it's an indescribable experience. Vera slept soundly. Her breaths were measured and long, her body rose and fell in a steady pattern.  The hushed light only added to the dream-like nature of the scene.

I started to pace around the edge toward her head which lay beneath a mess of her hair. In the shadow her face seemed to be carved from the wood of an ancient tree. With ebony eyebrows tracing around the edges of her twitching lids. Each step sent my attention somewhere elsewhere. What was most captivating? The traceable movement of her shoulder blades in the orange glow? The uncomfortable shuffle of her shins against one another? No, it was definitely the utter stillness of her fingers pressed flat against the pasty ground.

Then I was very close. So close that I could catch Vera’s distinct scent wafting off her hair. It was quick to surround me. I stopped around twenty feet from her head and just stared at her for a couple minutes. It hadn’t really occurred to me that waking her up would be sort...well you know...impossible. What could I do? Should I yell? I couldn’t come up with anything better so I did.

“VERA!” I screamed. I remember I was really nervous that I had been too loud and that she’d get pissed at me. Then I realized I wasn’t nearly loud enough as she didn’t even seem to notice. So I tried again.

“VERAAA!” I shouted almost twice as loud as before. Still nothing. If she was in REM sleep there wouldn’t be much I could do. Even I did succeed I knew she’d be pretty cranky too. It was a risk I was willing to take. I’d rather take the brunt of her anger now as opposed to even more fury when I returned. If I returned that is…

Hmm, this was troubling. I’d need to get closer. That would be difficult though, as most everything in my immediate vicinity was covered by Vera’s hair and I was not about to attempt wading through that again. A little ways off was Vera’s forearm, upon which she rested her head. With a little mental gauging I came to the conclusion that I could probably make the jump over to it...probably.

I won’t bother you with the suspense this time. I’ve found that my narration has gotten so reliant on it. Maybe i’m just afraid to say the things I need to say. None of it is particularly shocking or shameful. Its just...hard. I guess you’ll see for yourself in time. But, as I was saying, I squared myself up, got a running start and jumped as far as physically possible. There was a passing yelp that I let fly before finally crashing down onto Vera’s wrist. All the bruises and injuries I had retained over the last few days flared up. The impact wasn’t graceful but the hurdle was a success. Sure, I needed to lay down for a few seconds until my pounding migraine subsided but when it was gone I was able to sit back up with relative ease.

Vera’s sleeping face lay directly in front of me, partially obscured by a few stray locks. Normally I would have been hesitant, but after the adrenaline rush I received from my harrowing leap, I couldn’t help but push on. I meticulously approached her face. Each corner of it was another infinity away. Being so close...it was both reassuring and frightening. I think that’s how I could best characterize Vera, terrifying and reassuring. Yeah, that sounds right. So, with my endorphin addled mind hotwired to go I cried out again:

“VERAAA!” My exclamation was joined with a hard tap on the skin just above the brow.

For a moment, she actually stirred. Her arms shifted and her head bobbed. Then she opened her mouth to yawn. I could see the rows of faded teeth off to my left. Whatever confidence I felt started to dwindle. So, I tried again before it was too late.

“VERA, WAKE UP!” This time I punched her as hard as I could, which you know….was a pretty bad idea. In fact I was pretty sure I cracked a few carpal bones. However, I did manage to elicit another response. Vera let out a deep, monstrous groan. It was the type of sound I expected some ancient sea creature to make as it rose from the depths of an ancient trench.

She said something distant and incomprehensible. I was wearing her down.

“VERA, ITS ME!”

I guess that was the last great push. Vera’s eyes snapped open in a startled state of bewilderment. Her head rocketed away as she sat up. Her arm rotated abruptly and I, poor fool that I was, began to tumble off toward the ground. I knew at some point as I was flying in mid air that if I landed I would likely break something, or you know, die. So at the last second I twisted my body around and caught ahold of Vera’s arm. My grip was tighter at that point than it had ever been before. But my muscles were weak. Before I could even call out for help my strength gave out and I started sliding toward an inevitable maiming. But, just when I thought I could hear the bones in my ankles snap a tremendous pressure exerted itself on my entire body. In the shadow I could feel my torso being twisted this way and that. I’m pretty sure some of my vertebrae got misaligned but it was better than the alternative.

“What the fuck?” the deep, weary voice of Vera whispered harshly overhead.

“Vera?” I cried out in an equally harsh whisper. I assumed she had grabbed ahold of me but it was too dark to tell what the hell was going on. Then, my stomach lurched down into my intestines as I suddenly shot upward. The light seeped back into my field of view. I could see the outline of Vera’s massive head eclipsing the stream of light. But it was upside down. No, I was upside down. I reached out with both hands in search of some kind of surface I could use to readjust myself. Finally, I grasped the skin of what I assumed to be Vera’s fingers and twisted myself back around. I looked to my left and saw the expanse of her palm. To my right were the rest of Vera’s fingers. Somehow I was just barely propped up between her pinky and her ring finger.

“What the- Ellis?”

“Yeah its uhh...its me”

Then silence. I couldn’t see Vera’s face in the shadow. That was especially troubling as I would not be able to gauge her expressions. I shuffled around a bit more, trying to make sure that I was secure and she...well I don’t know what she was doing. Eventually after the long awkward pause she spoke up again:

“What is this? Are they doing another damn test or-”

“No, Vera I just, I came to talk to you.”

“Is it even-?’ she started but her words died out when she turned her gaze to the translucent wall. The darkness was all the information she needed. When her silhouette turned back to me I could sense the anger on her face.

“What the fuck Ellis?”

“I’m sorry, I know it's early but I, I’m leaving early and I didn’t get a chance to tell-”

“I could’ve killed you Ellis!” she interrupted. “Do you know how easy that is for me? Just now, I could’ve dropped you, could’ve crushed you, could’ve suffocated you. Are even aware how fragile you tiny little things are? Do you?”

“Vera, look I’m sorry but I thought you’d want to know-” I cried out in desperation.

“You’d die so easily Ellis. I’m tired as hell I can’t tell what I’m doing.”

“Vera I’m sorry.”

Then she paused again. Each of her exhalations seemed to grow in volume. Like steam crawling out of a kettle. It was the purest form of regret I had ever felt. Well, at least up to that point. Vera just waited in the darkness. If she was a god before now she seemed like an extension of the earth itself. Enormous beyond single comprehension. Powerful, like a hurricane. Passionate like the rage of a forest fire. She was a child of the earth itself, beneath a shroud of darkness. Was it to protect me from her, or her from me?

“Well just say what you came to say then…”

“Vera, I’m leaving for Echo again. I know I said I’d be here another day but something urgent came up.”

“What?”

“Uhh I-Excuse me?”

“What came up?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“But you will…” she seethed. Then she leaned back, letting the single light from overhead wash over her features. Simultaneously she brought me closer. “Won’t you?”

Now she had the aspect of some terrible demon. The lighting saw to it. The interplay of shadow and fiery light mutated her once soft nose. The extensive, sharp lines of black traced the contours of her cheekbones. The gray overlap of shades around her mouth made it seem like a horrid gaping maw and not the tightly clenched pair of lips that it actually was. I had to hand it to her, she had used the environment well, I was scared shitless.

“They think that Echo may be attacked soon. They need help.”

“You’re going to help fight them off? You expect me to believe that.”

“No, I’m just going to-”

“Ahh wait I see. You’re supposed to babysit her aren’t you?”

It was a question I really didn’t want to answer. She knew already anyway. But I could tell in the glint of her drained eyes that I would need to anyway.

“Yes…”

“So, you thought that it’d be a good idea to come in here, in the middle of the night, wake me up. Interrupt a pretty good dream I might add! Just so you could tell me that you are going to spend a few days with that blonde haired bitch?”

“I...yes…”

“You thought, I’d want to hear all of this? At this hour?”

“I just didn’t want you thinking I abandoned you”

“How do I know you’re not?”

“I just- I’m sorry…” the words dropped out of my mouth like lead weights. Vera took notice and brought me a little closer. When I looked back up the ghastly  coat of light on her face had morphed into a far more bearable facade.

“I just thought I’d let you know...in case...you know. I don’t come back.”

Again we both sat and soaked up the silence. Was she at a loss for words? Was she still angry? Her next statement left it pretty ambiguous.

“Ok, what do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know. I just thought I should let you know.”

“Well I...I do...now”

And again. Silence. Vera looked so far gone. Like all she wanted in the world was to curl up in the corner and sleep unto her death. Like she never wanted to wake up again. I could get behind that. The world looks better in the mind anyways. I just hope that, when I do die, there’s more than a dash between the two dates on my headstone. If I get a headstone at all.

“You don’t look well…” Vera said.

“I’ve been having a hard time keeping up with...some things.”

“Do you even eat? Sleep?”

“When I can…”

Vera rolled her eyes. Great, not only did Cyan pester me about such things now Vera would too. I guess I shouldn’t complain. She was just showing concern. For her that was a big deal.

“Well, just...don’t die. Please. Its so boring here when you are gone.”

I gave a slight chuckle. “I’ll try.”  I looked up at her again and watched her blink lazily in the twilight.

“What were you dreaming about?” I asked. I don’t know why I asked. To be honest dreams were beyond me wheelhouse. I knew general things but nothing that would really provide me any sort of aid in my understanding of her. She regarded me with suspsicion.

“Must we really do your little mind games at a time like this?”

“No, no games! Just curious.”

Vera sighed and looked away. At first I was certain she wasn’t going to answer but then ,through the gloom, she began to whisper:

“I was in a grotto. With two waterfalls, on either side. It was peaceful. Nothing but the sound of birds and the rushing of water. To my right, there was a great black cavern leading through the rockface. I would talk with the thing that lived down in it. I don’t know what it was or what we talked about, I only ever heard its voice. But I liked it. It reminded me of something. Something I hadn’t seen in a long time.”

I nodded along with her story. She looked back over to me and sighed.

“Its stupid.”

“No, its...its interesting.”

“Of course you’d say that.”

“No I mean it I-”

But my words were severed once more when her hand retreated. The rush of air against my mop of hair nearly made my neck snap, but, before I could even register what had happened, I found myself falling forward. I landed on my already strained hands and knees at the chambers edge. Vera spoke as her hand withdrew.

“Goodnight Ellis, I am tired. I am sure you are as well. You’ll need your energy if what you told me is true.”

“Vera-”

But it was too late. She was already laying back down; her eyes closed.

So I left. I didn’t take notice of the forced smile on her face. I didn’t notice the emerging sunlight forcing its way into through the frosted plexiglass. I didn’t even notice the creak of the ladder as I ascended back up the maintenance shaft. But above all else, I didn’t notice the swinging control panel door as I fled the room, or the four enormous bolts that waited unhinged behind me.

 

We, the loyal protectors, are charged with the defense of our homelands, the giving of aid to those in need, and the preservation of humankind. It is with great prejudice we execute these promises. Likewise, as Corps members we will pursue these goals no matter the cost, for all our actions are in the service of the greater good. We pledge our minds, our bodies, and our spirits to stopping the overwhelming tide of foes that would stamp us out, from now unto the ends of our days.

-Psyn Corps Pledge of Duty

Things like that always look good on paper don’t they? They sound even better when you hear it repeated by a hundred voices roaring out in the evening. It was enough to stir the eager turkey vultures that sat in the Maple boughs twenty feet above the central stage. When they all fell silent again the distant song of a Whip-poor-Will was the only remaining sound. Well, that and the soft putter of the transport’s motor. I recall leaning my shoulder against its bumper and staring up at the birds. A variety of thoughts preoccupied me at that moment. For one, I considered how strange it was that just a few years ago I was just as eager to join their ranks, but now...now I trusted them almost as little as I trusted the giants. Still, they had done some good out there. I guess organizations like that always do.

I had arrived at Echo not but an hour ago and it already left me feeling sick. Truth be told, I really enjoyed the change of scenery when I first arrived a few days prior. Maybe it was Amora’s chilling demeanor or the curious contrast between the two subjects’ personalities. Nevertheless, I could somehow feel the autumn chill a bit stronger here. It could’ve just been the cold lake air but who knows, right?

At the time I would’ve given anything to see a familiar face. Anything to escape the nagging sense of loneliness. The pervasive shroud of singularity in the face of growing uniformity. The rasp of old wooden boards sent a crippling shiver down my spinal chord. I cautiously turned in the direction of the noise and saw a haggard old couple stepping out of their tent. The woeful look on the middle-aged man’s face was much more than trampled melancholy. The bloody splotches around his eyes were evidence of something far more sinister at work. Drug abuse had been a problem of moderate concern since the invasion began. I mean, it made sense. With society breaking down and all, people dying left and right, drugs stopped being regulated. On one hand abuse spiked but supply dropped. Not many people have time to cook meth or grow opium when they’re constantly running for their lives. Still, something about this man and his wife...it was different.

“Try not to sell us out up there.” a gruff voice groaned behind me. Before I could turn to face my addresser, something rammed against my shoulder. Deck and the rest of his goons pushed past me, giving me a snide look as they passed. I wanted to say something. God, there was so much I wished I could just let out but once again my better judgment swayed me otherwise.

When the rest of the Blue Shirts filed into their lines I gathered my belongings and made for the main lodge. I didn’t actually know where I was suppose to report. For a bunch of control freaks these Psyn Corps guys didn’t seem to care much about what I did, so long as I showed up to my appointments on time. Eventually, after pondering it for another few more minutes I decided it was probably best to just go back to my old cabin.

The road there was crowded with people. The usual desolate sort with dull colored clothing and sunken faces. Or...at least most of them were that way. Some wandered around as happy as ever. It was a strange juxtaposition of emotions. I remember passing two women, who I presumed to be sisters. One sat in folding chair, her head tilted to the side and wide, unflinching grin plastered across her face. The other, meanwhile, stood by with tears in her eyes and both hands on the seated woman’s shoulders. She shook her and wailed. Saying something about ‘getting better’. The smiling woman did nothing, she just sort of limply lay there, like she was paralyzed. I don’t know what made my stomach turn more, the look on her face or her hysteric companion’s screaming.

I tried to push it from my mind as I wove my way through another crowd of people. I could see the roof of my building just ahead. If I could just get past those legions of wandering zombies, I’d be free. Each step was an ordeal. Each block a seemingly insurmountable crucible. It was enough tragedy and exhaustion to cripple most men. But I...I needed to keep going, it was my primary motivation back then.

When I finally did reach the building I found a troop of men in dark grey (almost black) vests waiting for me. In the center of the mass was the all too familiar round torso of Constable Speck. As I approached one of the men slapped the portly officer’s shoulder and pointed in my direction. The rest of the assembly turned in tandem with the round man, spinning casually on their heels until they faced me. Immediately his pupils lit up with a meager fire not unlike the spark in a child’s eye. A naging bitterness snagged the back of my tongue as I drew closer. Though he was much friendlier than most officers I had encountered, there was something about him I could not shake. It was a disgusting feeling, one that manifested across the senses in a variety of ways.

“Gulliver my boy!”

“Ellis, please” I swiftly corrected him. He furrowed his brow for a second but it soon gave way once again to his unbridled enthusiasm.

“Yes, yes of course. Good to see you my boy! I trust your journey went well?”

“I...suppose.”

“You sound so uncertain. Tell me wha-” but the Constable boisterous words were cut off by a distant cry in the camp. All heads turned in the direction of its origin. Despite its blood-chilling tone and piercing amplitude we could all tell it wasn’t too close. Not more than two seconds after it struck us that a resounding swarm of cries broke out at the same location. It was like a riot had suddenly broken out. Even now if I close my eyes I can still feel their angry bellows bouncing off the walls of my skull.

A nearby soldier jogged up to us. After slipping is rifle over he shoulder he addressed Constable Speck:

“Sir, there seems to be a disturbance in the area, I think it would be wise to relocate.”

“We’ll be fine here, this is a place of safety and…”

Then there were gunshots. Clear, distinct gunshots. Three, then five very rapidly, then one more. Of course it only served to make the distant crowd scream even louder. Before Speck could even voice his protest the soldier grabbed the back of his neck pushed it down. Two others joined him, shepherding him away from the building toward two nearby vans. The others took defensive positions behind cover. I, in the meantime, just sort of stood there.

What the hell was happening? How could this camp have fallen into such chaos. Just days ago it seemed perfectly fine. I guess the threat of another impending attack had people on edge. It was the only explanation that came to mind...at the moment at least. Whilst I stood there stupefied out in the open another soldier came running to my side.

“Sir, you need to get to the vehicles…”

I stared blankly back at him. At the time I guess my brain just didn’t register what he had said, it was still busy trying to decipher the cause for the sudden violence.

“Sir, what are you doing?”

“Oh, right, sorry, uhhh”

“This way sir”

He grabbed my arm and began dragging me away toward the open vehicle. Something whizzed by overhead. My first assumption was that it was a bullet, but I’ll admit I had no idea. I can’t even be sure it really happened.

When I was finally loaded into the backseat with the flustered Constable I noticed the rather violent tremors in my appendages. Now was not the time for my...condition...to flare up. If they others knew that I was well...ill, I’d lose my job for sure.

“You alright there lad?” The Constable asked.

I twisted my head in his direction a little too fast. For a second it felt like my eyes were gonna roll back in my head. My nausea didn’t help as I tried to formulate words.

“No, I mean, yes...I’m fine I mean”

Speck looked at me curiously. His mouth lay open in his myriad of uncertainties. I thought I saw a slight twitch his left eyelid, but it subsided rather quickly.

“I would hope so…”

Our mutual focus was then suddenly shattered when the passenger door shut. One of the soldier’s turned to the driver and, between fits of heavy breathing, cried out:

“Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

And so we did.

The harsh fluorescence of the hanging lights was seemingly harsher this time around. The interior of the monitoring facility was just as greasy and dismembered as I left it but the light….the light was worse. I don’t know how else to describe it. My retina burned from the unwavering radiation. I couldn’t keep myself from tearing up a bit in the razor glow. Luckily though it wasn’t enough to distract me from the matter at hand.

“So you have had no contact with him?” I asked. The Constable was signing something on a narrow desk behind me. I could hear the scratching of his pen as its tip skidded across the crumbled papers. When he was done he dropped it on the tabletop and looked back up to me.

“I’m sorry what was that?”

“Cinna, you haven’t heard from him at all?”

The Constable let out a defeated sigh and plopped down onto an unbalanced stool. He teetered a bit but finally managed to get the seat’s legs to rest on the cracked concrete. With his chubby hand he smooth out the wild strands of hair clinging to the back of his head.

“We got a few radio transmissions we assume to be from him, but we couldn’t understand them. We’ve just assumed that he’s out there plotting something for those two other giants.”

I bit my lip. Though the Constable was probably right I couldn’t help but feel sick thinking about all the horrible things that may have happened to him and how, secretly, I’d be relieved if he really was gone. Again, I knew that Cinna was not my enemy but of everyone I had met over the last few weeks he was one of the most unnerving. Perhaps it was because he represented the decline of the human mentality. He relished the chance to kill these giants, just as the giant’s loved to torment humans. He was a hero and villain all in one.

“How do you know he isn’t dead?”

“Oh Gulliver, he’s done this before. His methods are...unorthodox sure, but he gets the job done. We should show more respect, he saved our asses once already, now we just have to trust that he’ll do it again.”

The Constable put a lot of faith in that man. Many people did I suppose. I didn’t like the idea that they were buying into his mild psychosis. Just because the situation was dire didn’t excuse his behavior. But at the same time he was right. We did need him.

“Now, I suggest you push such thoughts from your mind, you’ve got a job to do, and who knows how long you have to do it!”

There he went again, changing the subject. Maybe it was a defense mechanism of mine, trying my best not to think about my duties. Maybe I was the only sane person left in that camp. Either way the last thing I wanted to do was go into that depressing room and speak with that blonde devil.

“But I- I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do!”

Speck chuckled. He clearly thought I was kidding. “Nonsense boy, you do what you do best. Find out what you can about these two coming for her, where they came from then you can get the hell out of there and we’ll gas her!”

I should’ve been content with that but I wasn’t. I knew her execution was supposed to be my call but I doubted they’d give a damn if I said I needed more time. I guess the only thing to do was wait and see.

Deja Vu is a strange phenomenon isn’t it? Some psychologists think that most of it arises from temporary lapses in memory. Basically you repeat an experience in your head right after it occurs and you assume that the experience happened a long time ago. That was not the case this time though. I felt like the short stroll through circular portal and down the narrow entrance hall was seemingly identical to my first time coming through. The only aspect that was really different was that. for some reason, I was twice as terrified now as I had been before. The terror left me stupefied. I forgot my name, I forgot my questions, I forgot everything!

Through an apparent mist I could see the dark shapes moving. There was a yellow glimmer which was mingled with a muted brown. The first thing I heard was the heavy crash of water on tile. It echoed like the beating of wings or the clapping of a maddened crowd. By the time I reached the edge of the outer platform I saw the main floor was flooded by at least three feet of water. It had a slight murkiness to it, likely because it was pumped directly from the lake.

Amora sat in the middle of it all with her left thigh half covering the drain. The stream of water cascading out of the opening in the wall was much more pitiful than the one in Juliet. The spout seemed to barely cast its water onto her. She was facing away from me, with her head tilted slightly to the side, allowing the stream to slide down the length of her neck. To the right of her head, she ran her fingers through her soaked, tangled locks.

I was going to say something. Secretly in my mind, however, I began to tell myself things that would dissuade further action. She wouldn’t hear me. She would care if I was there. I would be killed if she knew. Things such as this stunted my progress. Then...she turned around completely.

Her whole body twisted. It was about this point I noticed that they had given her a set of poorly manufactured clothes similar to those worn by Vera. These were, however, purely grey. Again they looked very uncomfortable and to be honest I was surprised she even consented to wearing them.

As her face passed over my position I could hear the audible thump of my heart. The temperature of my skin modulated in patches such that as one part of my arm was clammy elsewhere it produced a steaming sweat. But, as if by a miracle, she did not see me. Or maybe she chose not to see me. While we are speaking realistically I suppose I should say I hardly ever expected her to notice me as I was, after all, quite small comparatively. Again her vision passed over the point where I stood and again she did not make any gesture to suggest that she saw me. This back and forth was more nauseating than her direct scrutiny. It had to end...by any means. So I called to her:

“Uhh, hello?”

Nothing. So I called again.

“HELLO? Amor-” but my words were severed like a limb hacked away by a dull cleaver. My words weakened further as she spoke.

“I heard you the first time.”

That was it. We fell back into our uncomfortable silence. Or, at least I did. Nothing seemed to stave off Amora’s quiet disdain and simultaneous glee at my discomfort. She was like Vera in that respect. You see, many of the giants wished for abject, observable terror. But these two, they liked drinking in the subtle miseries. They seemed to favor in imperceptible internal gnawing in my stomach than the sounds of my screams. It got them their sick high.

“Oh…” I said in whisper. Amora continued combing through her hair with her sharp digits. I watched as both finger and water sliced through the intertwining ropes of her golden locks. Then, once smoothed again she let her head fall down so that her chin touched her chest. The falling water warped around the back of her neck in two cold rivers laden with the lake’s silt.

“You’ve come then to ask me more questions?”

I hesitated to respond at first. My probing paranoia led me to believe this was some sort of rhetorical trap. I would not be bested in words, not by her. With Vera it had become a common occurrence, but Amora, from what I could tell, was much less refined in verbal exchanges. She was far more abrasive than eloquent.

“Yes, I had something especially-”

“Ughhh,” she groaned, cutting me off once more. I recoiled, though I’m not sure for what reason. “Tell me little man…” she began again. “How the fuck are you able to carry on conversations with that brown haired bitch if you can’t even talk to me?”

I shifted from side to side. When I looked up I saw her razorous green irises peeking out from behind tendrils of soaked hair. She sat cross legged with her shoulders pushed up toward one another like a frightened cat.

Ignoring the question I went on. “So I wanted to talk about your life before you came here. If you don’t-”

“No.” she stammered impatiently. The outburst was accompanied by an unsettling thud brought about by her curled fist being slammed against the ground.

“Answer me first!” she growled at me. Before I could even consider her question though I noted how curiously animal like she had become. Her appearance, her gestures, even her words gave her the aspect of some angry dog.

“I -uh, I, well I don’t know how to answer that really…”

She rolled her eyes at me and let her torso drop toward the ground.

“Also how does she even hear you? You’re so...shaky and quiet and...just small. Speak up dammit!”

“I-I’m trying” I responded in the loudest volume I could bring myself to speak in.

“Wha-? I, fuck it”

That is when I saw her right hand shoot out from underneath her. Though it was massive it moved with the speed of a striking viper. My immediate terror did little to aid me though. For some reason my torso began to move long before my legs, essentially causing me to suddenly teeter over onto my right side. I smacked onto the floor with great force, no doubt adding another layer of bruises to my already battered flesh.

I shut my eyes and waited for whatever was to occur. A tremendous  pressure seized the lower half of my body, leading me to think at first that I had be ripped in two. My lower half was suddenly hauled upward, leaving my upper body dangling along behind it. Both arms whipped from side to side. The force and the pain did quick work on me, washing my brain in blood and adrenaline which, thankfully, knocked me out in a matter of seconds.

When I came to I found myself on skin. Everything below my abdomen was completely numb, everything above was shaking furiously. Up to that point I never really appreciated Vera’s careful handling of me, from now on I would be quietly thankful in future encounters. Looking down at my legs I saw they seem to be mostly together. I knew that when the numbness faded and the blood returned to their veins the trauma would be immense. I pushed myself up so that I could get a better idea as to where I was at the moment. Before me was small bump and behind me, a very similar protrusion. To my left I saw fingers curled downward toward what I assumed to be the ground. Unfortunately my vision was still spinning so directions were still unclear. Then I looked up I found myself peering up into the imposing visage of my captress. The neurons in my brain fired as fast as they could, helping me to stumble through simple logical orientation to discern what the hell was going on.

Whereas Vera would hold me in her palm to preserve my safety and ensure more direct conversation, it would appear that Amora had mounted me on the back of her hand as one would a wandering insect. The gesture was much more impersonal, and twice as unnerving as Vera’s own treament. Not only that but I felt completely insecure in such a position. I braced myself against the bony surface of her knuckles.

“You were saying?”

“Uhh I-I-I” God I must’ve sounded like such an idiot. Nothing shielded me from Amora’s grating judgment. It only served to fuel my momentary terror.

“You’re no better closer. Why do they even send you?”

“I- Sorry I don’t know, this is all...just so much. How long was I-?”

‘Unconscious, hmph, long enough for your little friends to come screaming at me down from the ceiling. Oh they were so concerned about you, how adorable. But don’t worry, I assured them you’d be peeeeerfectly fine.” Her voice was smooth and haunting. The obvious taunting flecks of sarcasm helped flush the blood back into my limbs as my heart picked up its hasty rhythm once more.

“Amora I-”

“Ugh, you use my name like you are worthy to say it!”

“I was just-”

“Now answer my damn question!”

I swallowed hard and searched for the proper counter. It was not within my power to retrieve it. So I decided to bargain. They always said that bargaining was the tool of dead men. I guess that meant my end must have been near.

“Ok, I will, if you answer mine…”

Amora’s eye’s narrowed, but there was not hate in them. “Fine” was her only response.

“Ok, well. I guess...we talk a lot I mean. She likes it. She says its the only interesting thing she gets to do.”

“Oh? She would lower herself like that. Pandering to you? To them!?” she suddenly screamed at the ceiling. I was about to continue but her attention dropped back down to me. Her eyes paralyzed me and her voice sent another chill down my spine.

“You must think you’re so clever. When I get out of here I won’t spare anyone ever again. No life left untrampled. It will be nothing but bodies from now on!”

As harrowing as her words were I couldn’t help but feel the urge to rise up against them. Was it all that adrenaline pumping through my veins? Was it some smouldering ember of bravery that I had been secretly kindling all these years? Who knows, maybe it was just my common human stupidity but I couldn’t help myself from saying something.

“Keep in mind Amora, I’m here to see if you’re worth keeping around. Making threats won’t help your case.”

All I got in return was a homicidal stare. I could see ceaseless carnage reflecting in her eyes. I could never imagine something so human in appearance wishing such evil upon the world. I knew it was just a dangerous  manifestation of anger and fear, she was, after all, close to a human being. My experience told me that everything I was seeing now had been in humanity for centuries. It just seemed different. Having such large, piercing eyes does that.

“Anyway…” I started. “I thought we’d go over a few things and then I’ll leave you alone. Ok?”

At first she only grunted. I tried to straighten myself out. After all, being assertive is pretty hard when half your body doesn’t even work. Anyway, I sat myself up a little further but she reacted by tilting her hand forward slightly. My body began to slide down. I panicked and flailed desperately in an attempt to stop my descent. I only fell about ten feet before she leveled her hand out again. The relief was so great that I nearly vomited.

“I won’t be spoken to in such a manner.” she hissed. Earlier I felt compelled to try and at least act brave. But, as soon as she finished speaking, I reflexively nodded and squeaked out some timid response.

“Good, now before I answer your stupid little question I want to know what Vera told you…”

Again I tried to straighten myself out. Some power returned to my legs, allowing me to shuffle back up to my original position.

“She said some giant had found a cave, an impossibly dark cave, and that you came from all over to see it. She said that he promised you the chance to become powerful.”

Amora smirked. Another majestic but sinister flame started to burn along the edges of her eyes. I looked down and saw her steadily open and shut her lips, as if mouthing words.

“Is that all true?” I eventually asked. Amora laughed more audibly this time and turned her face away. She looked off to the far corner and a somberness overtook her. When she turned around she was far more serious.

“Before I tell you I want to know...do you think not giving the whole truth is as good as lying?”

I didn’t know what she was getting at. I assumed the only way to find out was to answer her.

“I suppose.”

“Hmph, well then the bitch lied.”

This seized my attention. A sudden surge of strength allowed me to pull myself up further. She caught my festering fascination and grew curious herself.

“What did happen then?”

“Its difficult to describe, I don’t think you’d understand. But, if it means you’ll leave me the hell alone I guess I might as well tell you.” she paused and let out another weary groan. She straightened out her back and brought me up a bit closer. All the while her eyes wandered around the chamber, never once resting on me while she spoke. “I lived in a small canyon. It was just me. Year after year I’d have to fight for food and supplies just to keep myself alive through the winter. Gurn lived not far from me and...well...Vera a bit further out. One day, he comes to me and says that this guy has some special thing to show people.” Again, Amora stopped and took a second to gather her breath. As she did her pupils flashed onto me for a second. She looked disgusted at my keen interest. Whatever, I stopped caring. “Anyway, it gets pretty boring there so I go down with him one evening. Sun is just about to set and there’s at least fifty people waiting at this little grotto. One is up talking about our future or some shit, he called himself Asphalt or something…”

“Asphod?” I interrupted. I expected her to respond in anger but she simply nodded and continued her tale.

“I can’t remember everything he said, but all of a sudden everyone started pushing past one another, trying to get inside this little hole in the cliff. People are trampled, beaten, heh it was crazy.”

For a moment I thought I detected a hint of empathy for her own kind. It was subtle though, like she was trying to bury it beneath layers of words.

“Somehow I got through. I don’t know why I wanted to go, I just felt like I’d be left back there all by myself if I didn’t. I was pushed into the blackness. And everything’s seemed a little darker since. But I’m glad I came. There is so much more for me here.”

Then she stopped and stared at me for a while. Was I supposed to say something? If so what? Her scrutiny wasn’t unexpected but it was especially crippling.

“And what of Vera, was she there?”

“She was in the back, I remember that. I remember one thing in particular.”

“What was that?”

Amora shuffled back and let her head fall into her other hand. One eye glared up at me as if to convey her growing impatience. Normally I’d have been stressed by such a gesture but I was too elated by her story.

“She was crying”

“Why?”

“Ughh, Because…” she furiously muttered. “She said she had been here before.”

 

Numbness. Agitation. Then, through the sticky atmosphere all functions ceased. There was a shuttering that knocked against the back of my head. Something else joined in as well. It was a low rumble which pivoted on a razor’s edge. It was twisting at my skin until I finally sobered  myself out of the descending catatonia. It was Amora’s voice.

“What? Are you having a heart attack?”

As if disgusted by me, she let me slip and tumble down toward the floor. I landed hard on my feet, allowing a terrible, crippling pain to bite at my ankles.

At first I didn’t know what she meant, both literally and figuratively. By the time my brain actually registered and deciphered her words it was too late. Gravity pulled me down onto the floor. My scapula separated, by vision darkened. Maybe it was Amora’s shadow passing over me. I don’t remember exactly. What I do  recall though, is looking down and seeing every extremity convulsing wildly. I had never had an episode quite so bad.

Normally time slowed down for me in such stressful situations. I would bite at the back of my tongue just so that the arms of the clock would speed around a little bit fast but now...now everything was distorted. No frame of reference could accurately prescribe my internal and external judgment. There was no telling change of light, no drop in temperature, or ageless racing of the mind because I had no means of registering any such sensation. I was aware, however, that I remained prostrate for what seemed like a couple of seconds. It wasn’t until I noticed my vision shift that time seemed to slow back down. I remember being dragged along the floor but sensing nothing tactile about it. I couldn’t feel whatever force was pulling me along, nor did I experience the smooth but gripping surface of the white floor as I passed over it. Lights danced in my eyes. Something clamped down around me. Then I lost all perception.

When I came to I found myself leaning against an aluminum wall just outside the capsule’s inner chamber. Something salty and bitter burned my nostrils. When my eyes rolled back into place i noticed a wrinkled hand holding a small glass bottle next to my nose. Reflexively my hand shot up and slapped it away. My eyes were drowned in hot tears and the muscles in my chest ached from excessive use. The same wrinkled hand moved in the corners of my vision before I felt it strike me viciously across the face.

“What the fuck!” I cried out.

“Oh good, you made it…” The grumbling voice of Constable Speck droned. Tears continued to cloud my vision as I rocked side to side in a feeble attempt to crawl back up along the length of the wall with my spine. Finally, things became clear again. I looked up directly in the fluorescent lamp overhead. Its stinging rays of light singed my retinas but also made me feel somehow calmer. The grotesque pulsing of blood in my face made me feel as though I had been held upside for hours.

As my gaze dropped I caught sight of a collection of faces. The first that I identified was Constable Speck. His jaunty look was less genuine than usual, but I suppose that’s to be expected. No one here was made aware of my condition, and to be honest I didn’t think it would be necessary to mention it. But a combination of stress and my recent unhealthy behavior was the perfect formula for an attack of this caliber. Curious thoughts began to bounce around the interior of my skull. How did I get out of there? Did Amora actually help me? That was unlikely.

“Geez, you really had us worried there for a sec my boy. Thought that maybe she had done something to you”

Uh oh. I knew that voice. Its chipper cadence was all too familiar to me now. I once again readjusted my eyes and saw the old man crouched in front of me. It was he who had woken me with the smelling salts. Ugh, that’s what was giving me that awful headache. No wonder they fell out of use. The nausea that it left me with was worse than my seizure. I felt like vomiting and in the end I think I did. Things were kind of a blur. I remember being led to a table and given plenty of water, most of which I regurgitated into a nearby tin bucket.

“That’s it, let it out. You’ll feel better, you had quite a nasty fall there.” Cinna went on. Right now, his voice was the last I wanted to hear. He was right though. As my senses returned to me and the sickly feeling in my head dissipated, the ache in my ankles grew. They weren’t broken...perhaps sprained. It was hard to say. I was lucky, I’d have to remember that.

“Wha-how did you guys get me? What happened?” I recall blabbering. Even in my stupor I could detect the slur in my speech. Cinna nodded with a slight hint of condescension. Speck shook his head with concern.

“Also where? Where did you come from I thought-”
Cinna raised a hand to silence me. “No worries my boy. I took a little...detour is all. Preparing for the next attack and all. Things are about to get hairy but as always…” he paused and turned to the assembled crowd which I had failed to notice. “WE WILL GIVE THEM HELL!” he roared triumphantly. The others reared up to match his enthusiasm. Only Constable Speck seemed unmoved by the old man’s fervor.

“So you’ve been, what, hiding in the woods?”

Cinna chuckled coyly. “Nonsense, just a little recon. Here and there. set a few traps, made a few plans. Its just like you said. I’m always prepared.”

“ANd you think you can win?” I quickly countered.

“Why, my boy…I know we can!”

Again the others roared with passion. Their valorous cries slammed into my cranium, sending shockwaves through my temples. I doubled over again, clapping both hands over my ears. Cinna, seeing my distress, calmed the crowd by raising both hands. Once the clamor died out he knelt back down and placed a bony hand on my shoulder.

“No worries lad, sure people are migrating out of here, and well they probably should! But, we have everything under control.”

“I don’t have-I don’t enough time...when are they?”

“Coming?” Cinna quickly finished my inquiry. “They’ll be here within a day or two. Preparations are being made once more. We’ll have to fight in the shadows. Too few supplies. But, again you won’t need to worry about it. We are sending you home.”

“I---no...I’m not ready. I need more time...with her!”

“Her?” Cinna asked. His hairy brow furrowed as he exchanged a few glances with the others. “She’s part our plan, we need her. She’s the most important part. Dont’ you worry your little head about it. Besides you said it yourself...she’s too dangerous. Go home. Go to your other giant lady-friend. You like her anyway right?”

“I-” my mouth dug for words. I formed their syllables silently against my pallet. Some looked on as though I had lost my mind. Maybe I had. Maybe I was still coming out of it. Whatever the case may have been I was struggling to find footing.

“I hear you’re real chummy with her.” one strange man’s voice called out. I shot a look in the mysterious figures direction and saw that it was one of the Blue Shirts who had accompanied me. His comment was joined by the  angry booing of the crowd. Some threw various bits of garbage at me. I tried to shield myself from their projectiles but it was pointless given my state.

Constable Speck held up his arms and bellowed back: “Hey, cut it out all of you. Step back, Step back!”

Cinna leaned in closer and whispered to me. “Don’t mind them none. They don’t understand the importance of what you do. Not like I do. I know that in order to kill these things we have to get inside their heads. Its hard to do both the killing and the head infiltration, that’s why I need you. We’ll talk a bit later, I want to hear what you have on these three here. But for now, just let it go…” he paused and looked around before returning to me. His breath was stale and had the distant scent of soil. I recoiled as his hushed words brushed against me. “This is a time and place for soldiers, not scholars. Go back to Juliet. You’ll be thankful you did.”

I nodded, though it was a thoughtless gesture. I paid him and the others no obeisance. I stood and left. Some tried to help me along my way, others just spat at my feet. I just pushed past all of them. By the time I had reached the docks again I found the sun was reaching out into the sky. Nightfall would be happening within the hour. Many boats with their captains waited down by the dock. The sensible thing to do would have been to climb into any one and ride back. But I, for some reasons still unknown to me, decided to go pick another fight. I saw Nixie’s watercraft bobbing at the far end of the pier. She looked out across the water. The sunlight reflected off her hair and blinded my already weary eyes.

As I drew near I called out to her: “Permission to come aboard captain?”

She turned her head ninety degrees so that her left caught sight of me. She immediately turned back and, after an exhausted sigh, responded: “Sure, get on”

I climbed aboard and waited. The soft rush of the evening wind along the surface of the lake chilled my skin. I sank against the seat’s leather and wished that it would all just be a dream. That I would wake up, six years earlier and everything would be ok. My eyes shut. The air caught my hair and tugged at it gently. Finally the roar of the motor brought me back. Nixie was in the process of unhitching the boat from the dock when our eyes met.

“You look well…” she droned sarcastically.

“As well as  you”

I’ll admit, it was not the most tactful response. She gave me a quick scowl before turning back to the helm.

“Sorry…” I sheepishly added soon after. She gave no response. A few seconds went by. It wasn’t until we were carefully cruising along the lake’s placid surface that I finally spoke again.

“Nixie, I don’t understand why you hate me so much. Is it because of what I do?”

“No” her response was quick and jagged. Much faster and much more poignant than I was expecting.
“Then what is it? What did I do to you?”

“Its because of what you didn’t do-” she growled. Again I was at a loss for words. I didn’t quite understand her meaning. I searched the annals of my brain for some explanation but the effects of the smelling salts still clogged its channels.

“Excuse me? What do you mean?”

She turned back to me, again our eyes met, and again it was awkward.
“Nevermind.”

“No seriously tell me”

She paused. Just as I began to stand up to really assert myself she pushed the throttle on the boat forward. I was sent back against the seat with a silent thud.

“You really want to know then? I’m surprised. I thought you were supposed to be able to figure this kind of thing out.”

“Just tell me!” I screamed.

“Fine. Ellis...Jung...whatever. As soon as I heard about you and what you did I was excited. But then I heard you got recruited by Psyn Corps. That you were finding excuses to execute these...things. That you were just another cog in their machine-”

“I’m not a member of--”I started off too loudly. I adjusted my voice and continued “That’s insane I’m not part of Psyn Corps. I’m not a part of their machine. If anything I’m against them. They’re up to some shady stuff. Is that all?”

“I just thought…” she went on. “That you of all people would be able to help. But you are either too blind or too deep in their pocket to give a shit.”

“Give a shit about what?”

She turned around sharply. Her eyes burned with anger. I swallowed and leaned back in my chair.

“Oh come on you cannot tell me you haven’t noticed.”

“Noticed what?”

She bit her lip and narrowed her eyes. Every once in awhile she looked back over her shoulder to ensure her bearing was straight.

“Did you not notice how people have been acting strange here? Depressed then happy. Weirdly content or furiously violent?”

“Err I mean...yeah I guess but these are stressful times I just thought-”

“Thought nothing!” she retorted. “These Psyn Corps guys...they’ve been doing something. Some kind of tests...on their own people! The people they are supposed to protect.”

“Wha-” I was shocked. I didn’t know what to say. I mean...I would never have thought anything like this would be going on. Then again I wasn’t terribly surprised it was either. “Well do you have any proof.”

“Look!” she said pointing toward shore. Along the stretch of canvas tents a crowd had gathered in what looked like some kind of horrible melee. People screamed, yelled, growled with primal rage. It was a mess. “That should be proof enough. Tell me, do the people in your old camp act like that…”

“Well...I guess...no, I guess they don’t really.”

“No, of course they don’t that’s because Psyn corps...is ...nevermind”

Nixies words trailed off as she slowed the boat down once more. There was more I needed from her. What she was telling me...it was...a game changer. It would profoundly affect what was to come next. Several times my jaw dropped only to have another slow, steady breath escape instead of words. When she finally pulled us into port she turned back to me. Feverish waves of anguish continually pounded against my gut. Could this sort of treachery be real? It seemed unfair, medieval...dangerous. Yet, I could not help but think she was right. I finally found what I needed to say only to have her cut me off once more:

“Get off my boat…”

There was a haze in front of the sun when I stepped out of my quarters the next morning. Grey stretches of clouds kept the blue sky from breaking through. It's overcast kept the land in a subtle chilling grip. I tried to smooth out the wrinkles in my clothes as I descended the wooden staircase to the ground below. With one deep breath I took in a lungful of morning air and nearly gagged. It was crisp. Too crisp.

I opted to skip breakfast once again. I had spent all night lying awake in bed thinking about what Nixie had said. All its toxic vowels eating away at the veins in my limbs. All of its boiling, viscous turbidity flooding the cavities of my head. How were they doing it? Obviously some kind of drug. I knew they were working on something like that. Mood altering drugs seemed to be their speciality. It's what they were doing to Vera after all, and ever since Nixie mentioned it, I had suddenly become aware of just how strange everyone was acting. It must have been in the food, it was the only explanation I could think of.

Eventually I stood back at the holding chambers atrium. I opted to take a different ferry over.  I never bothered to speak with any of the other base personnel when I entered. I figured they didn’t care what happened to me anyway. Just as I was making my final approach to the vault door I heard Speck’s voice cut in.

“Gulliver...I mean, Ellis, wait now. I know what you must be thinking right now but you really must be-”

“Constable Speck” I said rather loudly. When I turned to face him I saw that he was drenched in sweat. His portly exterior wattled grotesquely as he came to an abrupt stop in front of me. After a few moments of his heavy wheezing he finally piped up.

“Ellis, now...please I need you to get to the evac….transports...soon.”

I felt a scowl cross my face. Such expressions were not natural on me, and I could feel it hang with disdainful aggregation.

“With all due respect, Constable, I came here to do a job. I’m not leaving until it is done. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have someone to interview.”

With the passing of my words my power seemed to return. I pushed past the Constable boldly and strode forward. For a moment I felt what the giants must have craved since they first decided to come here. Power. It was an intoxicated experience. But it faded quickly, for, as the doors slid aside effortlessly the overwhelming sense of smallness seized me again. I stood staring at the wide expanse of the misty inner chamber. All the terror that I had previously experienced waited to take my hand and walk me inside.

As I entered though, it felt as though the atmosphere was trying to push me back out. Like I was some foreign matter that had come to contaminate the pristine interior. I kept pushing though. Dizziness briefly distracted me but I kept my course.

When I stepped out into the chamber I saw Amora sat against the wall I had entered from. her hand and attention both pressed against the flimsy barrier. It looked as though she had scratched away some of the material on the plexiglass, giving her  a pure, unblemished view of the outside world. She waited like an anxious dog.

I paused as I looked up at her. I considered primordial things. The building of mountains the carving of the seas. I thought about all the myths and legends I used to hear as a child. About the Titanomachy and the Jotuns of norse myth. Nothing was like it was in those stories. Amora was, in every reference to me, a goddess. As was Vera. Yet, even as I looked up at the horrendously large stretches of space taken up by her torso and her various limbs I realized that their deific bearings were vastly different. Amora reminded me of nature. She was terrible and furious. Scything through life as though she were an evil hurricane. She had to be appeased, sated, quelled. Vera on the other hand  was something else entirely. Sure she needed to be contained as well but...it wasn’t so vicious. She needed to be amused, praised, separated. I struggled to understand which was more god-like.

“What?” Amora’s voice finally boomed from overhead. I’ll never understand just how these giants know when I’m around. Whatever. After I recollected my thoughts I arched my neck back up and cleared my throat. Amora hadn’t peeled her eyes away from the sliver of unphased light flooding in from outside.

“I wanted to continue where we were yesterday.”

“Hmph” she smirked. “You mean before you had your little seizure?” The satisfaction she got from my pain was horrid. At least when I had an attack back and Juliet, Vera showed some concern. Sometimes I had to remind myself just how different these two were.

“Yes...well, you had something interesting for me. I want to hear more about it…”

“Mhmm” she hummed. Still her gaze was fixed. I felt like a substitute teacher being spurned by an unruly class. My intended tactics were skewed as a result. It was one thing to try and demand something from a giant. It was another thing to demand something from a giant who hated your guts. Demanding something from a giant who didn’t even acknowledge your existence, well, that’s something entirely different.

“Amora…” I cried out once more. Still nothing. As I kept my wary eyes upon her massive limbs I began making my way toward the edge of the outer platform. When I took my seat I gave a silent thanks that she at least did not lash out at me.

“So, little man.” she finally stated. “What do I have to do to get rid of you today?”

Her abrupt comments left me a little startled. She finally peeled her attention away from the glass and directed it back down to me. Her eyes were not cruel this time. In fact they seemed a little eager, perhaps even excited.

“I have, just four questions for you today. I need you to answer them truthfully. If you do I’ll leave and...well I probably won’t be back.”

Her eyes narrowed. The old serpentine glimmer returned to them. It made a lump form in my throat. Suddenly, her right hand slithered down off the wall and slid down next to me. Though there was little force in their passage I still felt their presence in my peripheral vision. Terror. That was all that held dominion in my mind. Like death looking over my shoulder.

“That doesn’t sound good for me…” she said.

“Its not…”

“Hmph…” she smirked again. “It won’t matter...I won’t be in here much longer anyhow”

She knew. I don’t know how she knew but she did. That’s why she was in such a good mood. That’s why she was staring into the outside world. This would make things...difficult.

Trying my best to dismiss this from my mind I attempted to organize my thoughts and put them forward.

“Well…” Amora blurted out with some of her usual aggression. “Get on with it!”

“Ok, ok . Firstly, what did you mean by Vera had been here before? Did you mean to this world?”

“Ugh, yeah I guess. She said she had been through once already. She said it was going to cause problems. That’s all we ever got out of her.”

“Hmm ok, alright that’s...interesting. Give me a sec.”

“Ugh hurry up”

What spite! What little enamel of eagerness surrounded her I was chipping away at it with my mere presence. She would soon return to her usual state of agitation. Cautiously, I stood, planting my feet further apart than usual in anticipation for any potential seismic activity. Amora leaned back against the far wall, letting both hands slump down into her lap.

“Ok so, I wanted to know where you and the others were going when you first came through the valley.”

Amora rolled her eyes once more and let out a long, frustrated groan.

“I thought I told you already, we got a tip about one of your little camps. Thought we check it out.”

“Yes, I know I know. But, who told you exactly?”

As she deciphered my words, Amora’s mouth slipped back into a tight, malicious smile. I looked up sheepishly into the dark center of her eyes. They seemed to jump back and forth between two points on my body. What exactly they were I did not know. Nor did she seem aware, she just continued to regard me with her hungry stare.

“Oh, well we wrung out of someone. I used my…usual charms. He didn’t seem to have a good time, nor the others.”

Each cold word fell on me like a heavy stone. She cadence of her speech, the cruel glimmer in her eye. Both twisted my insides such that breathing became laborious. Amora spoke as though recalling a fond memory. I just wanted to puke.

“Alright…”

“Is it?”

“Lets…not dwell on that” I quickly retorted. It was strange, seeing her so relaxed. Normally I’d expect such sadistic glee from Vera. So far Amora was more prone to fits of anger but I suppose the added knowledge of her impending liberation was lightening the mood. The certainty with which she carried herself made me feel so insect-like. Or, at least more than usual. Now I felt the weight of everyone’s helplessness bearing down on my shoulders.

“Hmmm, well did you have anything else?”

“yes,” I said defensively. The acerbity of my retort did not sit well with Amora. She gave me a soft scowl and leaned forward. Her right hand smacked into the ground in front of me. The force made the walls shutter and I dropped to my knees as though to pray. Was this some strange last attempt at appeasement? No, I was far past that at this point.

“Get on with it then”

“ok, so. How did you survive the assault at Golan heights? The one right before Vera left.”

Amora leaned in closer. Her face’s approach eventually slowed to a stop a good fifty over me. I instinctively fell onto my back. The hot vapor of her breath made me feel crowded and reckless. Somehow, my wince was so strong it was audible.

“How do you know about that?”

“Vera told me about it. She said that there was-“

“The bitch didn’t show up when we needed her. Where was she? She was gone by the time it was all over”

“Yes, well when she saw them coming I assume-“

“SAW THEM COMING?” Amora suddenly roared. Somehow I managed to clap my hands over my ears in time. The force still left my  head ringing, but most of it surged through the rest of my body. Even long after she fell silent I could feel her outburst reverberating through me.

“SHE KNEW?”

“No, I mean that’s now what I-“

“She set up didn’t she? She was going to have us die? Not warning us on purpose. Typical.”

“Amora, look I don’t know what happened I think she just didn’t get to you on time!”

           I don’t know why I was defending Vera. I felt like I owed her for something. In many ways I felt bad for her. Everyone in the world wanted her dead except me. No one should have to live with that, no matter who they are, it just doesn’t seem right.

           “We almost died…” Amora seethed slowly. “When I get my hands on that bitch I’ll tear her god damn spine out!”

           “Amora please let's just stay on track here!”

           When her eyes flashed back onto me I nearly wet myself. The grotesque focusing of her irises made her seem so much more animal like. The focus of her rage was numbing. Like a horrible, unfaltering anesthetic. I was becoming dull to the painful fear these beings caused.

           “You.”

           “Now Amora wait I…”

           “You are real fucking lucky, if it wasn’t for your little friends I’d smear your remains across these walls. Just to spite HER!”

           I somehow rocked back onto my feet. Impossibly, I stood back up, parting her hot angry breathes with my forearm. She did not move. When I took the time to observe the rest of her I saw that every other muscles seemed restrained. It was like some invisible bonds were keeping her from pouncing on me. I was silently thankful that her sense of self preservation was greater than her lust for revenge. I would not last two seconds. Or I’d last a lot longer…and I’m not sure which is scarier.

           “Amora, I am sorry for what has happened to you. Believe it or not, I do not consider myself your enemy, and despite what you may think I am not Vera’s friend. This is just my job. You can hate me all you want, make your threats, maybe you’ll  even will kill me one day, but until that happens, its you and me. I want answers. You give in just a little bit and I leave you to whatever the hell it is you’re doing. Ok?”

           My backlash was filled with bullshit. So much that it made my extremities tremble a bit. However, that could easily have been my condition. It did the trick though. Amora’s anger was quelled slightly. The bloodthirsty rage devolved to a quiet hatred. She began to withdraw and nodded passively.

           “Alright, this is my last question. Maybe the last question I ever ask you.”

           Again she nodded.

           “Do you love him. Do you love Gurn?”

           Her face immediately twisted into a tortured grimace. Clear, reflective puddles of tears began to form in the corners of her eyes. Her face became a flushed light red as emotion overtook her. Then, unexpectedly her hand lashed out.

           I could see it descending upon me long before she was even close. I tried to twist around. I tried to flee but as soon as I turned around I felt something clamp down on my sides. I managed to slip free, but my shirt was caught. Even with my haste I could not slip away. Suddenly I was tugged upward, held aloft by my own clothing. The air warped around me as I was lifted. When things became clear again I saw myself dangling a hundred feet in the air. In front me was Amora’s grief stricken face. Her breaths were short, choppy, and shallow. The only thing keeping me from plummeting to my death was my shirt. I could feel my weight wearing away the fabric. It would only be a matter of time till it ripped completely. I grabbed desperately at the seams.

           “Yes.”

That was it. It was softly spoken but it carried great weight. No sooner had she answered that she deposited me by the door. I was thrown into the wall and it hurt, a lot. I picked myself and looked back up at Amora. She had already began to wipe away some of her tears. She did not look back at me. I figured that was enough. It would have to be enough. Somehow I couldn’t help but feel that that one question had invoked enough pain to match the amount of stress she put on me. As I left I found myself feeling incredibly callous about it all. Even as the vault door swung back open for me I caught myself whispering something to no one in particular. It was something I never expected to say. Something I never expected myself to feel.

           “Fair is fair.”

           Hours later I found myself still troubled by those words. Four little words that somehow summarized my relationship with Amora. Yes. Fair. Is. Fair. That was it. The few short hours I had spent in that chamber and the many more spent studying her broken down in a tetrad of simple syllables. Even then, when I stared out my window at the puddle covered road I could not find solace.

           I had been traveling for almost forty five minutes now and nothing seemed to interrupt my thoughts. There were no ample distractions. Just those four words. Well, those and the last few exchanges with Speck and Cinna. Both urged me to go. I didn’t want it but I felt it would be for the best. If anything I was tired of arguing with those two. One minute they praised me for my work the next they treated me like a child. It was awful. I was…in essence powerless in both avenues of my life. Not even the apocalypse can free me from that kind of restraint.

           “Sorry, the roads a little bumpy” my driver called back to me. He was large man, fairly burly with a busy black beard and a pair of yellow-tinted shades.  The entirety of his left arm was covered in tatoos and he always kept a loaded shotgun nearby. Despite all that though, he was a rather friendly fellow, though I began to wonder whether or not that was just the Psyn Corps drugs in his system. Either way he was a welcome change of pace from the hate i’d been getting from Amora and the Blue Shirts. To his right was a small woman with light auburn hair pulled back into a tight ponytail. She was rather quiet, but, much like her partner, she never let her weapon out of sight.

“Its fine, how much longer?” I blandly responded.

Either they didn’t hear me or they didn’t want to answer. Whatever the case may have been I did not feel inclined to repeat myself. Instead I sighed and slumped back against the back door. My mind returned to other grim things. I stared up at the passing clouds and thought about all the troubles to come. I was especially concerned about the assault. What if Cinna’s plan didn’t work? What if Echo was overrun? Even with the reinforcements from Juliet they would not stand a chance against two giants. God help us if they should free Amora. It was scary. I feared for those fleeing. I feared for those staying behind. I was nervous for Speck, for Zinc. Hell I was scared for Nixie and Cinna. There wasn’t much to do though.

I leaned toward the center and peered at the others. They sat in comfortable silence. I was about to say something else when their short-wave communications radio crackled to life. The voice was hurried and jumbled. The woman, whose name I had come to learn was Anis, quickly grabbed it and replied.

“Come again, Blue Three”

Our driver shot her a curious look. I went to say something when all of a sudden the vehicle ahead of us screeched to a stop. Our bearded pilot slammed on the brakes, stopping just in time. Distant, muffled shouts echoed through the car’s interior.

“What the hell?”

That’s when it happened. The sudden morbid descent into the chaotic hell of war. The driver’s side window disintegrated in the wake of a bullet. Crimson suddenly erupted everywhere. It slathered itself across my face. I was mute, even as my driver’s shattered skull smacked into the wheel. The horn blared. Anis screamed. I didn’t know what to do. By the time I turned my head I saw she was already out of the vehicle and had posted up behind cover.

“Stay down!” she bellowed over to me. Like a faulty machine I shakily unhooked my seatbelt and gravity carried me down into the space between the front and back seats. Then I waited. The sharp twang of gunfire was all too familiar. Cries of pain, of rage, of panicked purpose.

It wasn’t until the explosion that I really started to tremble. A deafening sound rocked the vehicle from behind. Against my best wishes, my eyes shut and I waited for death. Then, the right side door opened up. Anis grabbed my wrists and tried to pull me out of the car.

“Come on, get out get out”

I obliged, sliding slowly along the coarse rug until I tumbled awkwardly out onto the gravel. When I pulled myself up I saw the car directly behind us had gone up in flames. Bodies, everywhere. It was too soon. I was not ready to see this kind of death again.

“Hey, hey look at me!” Anis screamed. I turned up to her. Something in her eyes reminded me of my sister. I could feel tears tugging at my lashes. “You need to get out of here, run, ok? Get as far as you can into the woods just go!”

I don’t know why I nodded. I don’t know why I agreed. I should have stayed. I should have helped. I faced deadly adversaries on a daily basis. I guess now it was clear they wanted to kill me. So that’s what I did, I ran. I went as far as I could. Off the main road, down a bank into the brush. The cries and shuffled footfalls of other fleeing civilians bounced off the trucks of the trees on all sides. The mixing pop of rifles did not grow distant. I thought for a moment they were being fired right next to me. Someone in the corner of my eye fell. Another dark figure. Another motherless child went screaming through the bushes. I turned around. Was I running in the right direction? It sounded like I was running back into the fight.

I hardly paid attention to the muzzle flares in the brambles. I tripped, or maybe I purposely fell, I can’t remember. Whatever it was though I remained their, hands on my head. Waiting for the barrages to disappear. It wasn’t until the tread of a muddy boot slammed down onto the back of my neck that I knew I would not be so lucky.

“We got another one!”

The same foot slipped itself beneath me. I was rolled over onto my back. Through the smoky haze, the drifting leaves crashing down overhead I saw them. Three figures, with bandanas over their mouths waited for me. The rifle they held in my face steamed. No doubt from vomiting death at the innocents looking only to escape their assured torment.

“Bind him…”

 

“What men or gods are these? What maidens loth? What mad pursuit? What struggle to escape? What pipes and timbrels? What wild ecstasy? Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard are sweeter…”

• John Keats, Ode on a Grecian Urn

Coarse grains of soil ground out patches of blistering sores on my skin. Sticky fluids gripped tightly to the crumpled detritus clogging the sebum and blood pouring out of my open wounds. Something crawled across the edge of my neck. The light peddling of insectoid footsteps on my epidermis seemed to amplify themselves across the rest of my body. The uncertain horror I felt was not of the flesh, it was almost purely psychological. Like a diminutive devil searching for the right point to burrow into my flesh. Then, in my madness, I laughed. The tiny creature scurried away and I was left chuckling softly to myself.

I considered how strange it was that I should fear something so small, so mindless when everywhere else in the world giants tore through millions of perfectly intelligent creatures without a second thought. How cruel it was for me to laugh at a time like this. When, just next door, I could hear the tortured moans of a woman who I’m fairly certain was sexually assaulted the night before. When, just yesterday, two of my captors dragged my cellmate away with a pair of pliers clamped down on his tongue.

I saw nothing. Not because of the damp piece of rag they tied around my eyes but because of the ignorant veil of complacency my brain had constructed. Nothing seemed worth it anymore. All was just a single length of rope with no definite end or beginning. All I knew now was the disgusting squish of the earth beneath me, the chorus of agonized groans that kept me up at night, the seemingly endless cold nights, and the pinch of soreness at the back of my throat. Water, if I could just get water then I would be cured. This was a sickness. I decided that after my first two nights. Now how long had it been? This was the third day. I knew because the guard for our row came back every morning banging a bucket with the butt of his rifle screaming how many days we’d been there. I think he intended to make us feel trapped, but it was the only source of perceivable hope that I could grasp.

This was to be my grave wasn’t it? This hovel in the earth. With two rock faces between me I was finally and truly a prisoner. But I’m sure you have a lot of questions. Who were they? At first I thought they were just another band of outlaws hiding in the forest, preying on innocents. I soon realized as I was brought in during the early hours of dusk that this was not the case. They had a hierarchy, there was some kind of uniformity in their dress. They all seemed to wear hunting camouflage with white bandanas over their mouths. Some of them even knew very odd marching songs, which they would grunt to one another as they gathered what captives they could into the makeshift holding cells. The first night they executed half of us, something about “too many mouths to feed”. Why I got to live I’ll never really understand.

I assumed they were The Sons of the Deluge. I had heard rumors that they had been operating in the area when I first arrived at Juliet. Like most other Bandit groups though, I never really thought they’d be much of a threat. Oh, how I was wrong. Even now the bullets from their rifles echoed in my mind. I could still hear the rattle of ammunitions amid the cries of confusion.

Wait, no...that wasn’t in my head. This was real. There was the tearing and screaming of war forcing its way into my narrow cell. The horrid sounds scared me enough to try and rock onto my feet. It would have been a relatively easy endeavour had my arms not been bound behind me. The awful burning bruises around my wrists kept me from trying to wriggle them loose as I had attempted a hundred times already. Instead, I just used my momentum to sit up.

The clicking of metal grew louder. Its presence forced itself upon those of us cowering in our holes. It was an enormous demonic entity, spreading its leathery wings breathing anguish in our faces. A body crinkled back against the soft earth near my door. The gibbering and gurgling emitted by the failing organs filled me with dark feelings.

The exchange went on for twenty or so minutes. The focus of the commotion seemed to shift off to the right. No doubt the the Sons were being pushed back. The question now was by who?

Luckily I didn’t have much longer to wait. The audible squeal of my unoiled cage door launched me to my feet. The barking of orders, the slap of boots on the mud, and the weary breathing of the man who pulled me from my dark prison made my head spin. They were hardly gentle. I was pushed around, flung onto the earth, but finally a narrow blade severed the cords binding my hands. It was like I had been holding my breath for three days. I let out so much air from my lungs that I nearly fainted. When I finally removed my blindfold I saw a troop of six Blue Shirts spattered with blood and ash standing over me.

“Get up! Get up!” cried the one closest to me. He was young. No older than myself, but the lines of war had aged him immeasurably.

“What is your name?” another voice cried out amid the hellish clamor. I turned around and saw an emaciated man with a muddy face and awkwardly aligned glasses. He held a clipboard with a list of names, some had checks next to them, but most had been crossed out. I emptied the contents of my stomach at his feet. When I wiped the last tendrils of vomit from my chin I stood back up and looked him straight in the eye.

“Ellis...or Gulliver...or Jung”

“Ah” he said, “the man with three names”

An hour later I sat with a blanket thrown over my shoulders next to the hastily erected medical tent. Dozens of traumatized souls were being thrown in and out. Entering with bloody appendages and septic wounds, leaving soon afterwards with mountains of white bandages holding their guts in. Beside me was an old friend. One, whose words had once filled me with mild contentment. Now, he only spoke of carnage.

“I can’t believe you made it. I thought you were gone! When we got word the convoy was attacked I was...I was certain of it. Oh lord forgive me!”

I looked up at Zinc with bloodshot eyes. Whatever had happened, it gave him a slight tremor in his limbs. The oil that usually spotted his body was long swept away by streams of nervous sweat. I was lucky, he was correct. Sure I had suffered some physical and mental damage but I was resilient. After what I had been through with Vera and Amora, this seemed only a slight step down.

“Its ok Zinc, listen. I need you to finish what you were saying. What happened at Echo?”

He dropped down onto a log next to me and groaned. Both hands went up to his eyes. For a moment I thought he was crying. A second later his palms dropped and he turned back to me.

“It was a day after you left. The two giants arrived. My god they were...there were huge! Two males, out for blood. We were counting on Cinna and his team. They had set some traps, they slowed them down. It wasn’t any use though…” Zinc’s voice trailed off. He looked up at the boughs of the trees overhead. It was as though he forgot everything that happened. That was a typical defense mechanism.

“And? What happened? Did they...did they get to the containment chamber?”

Zinc, without shifting his gaze, nodded slowly. Immediately my heart dropped into my stomach. Had there been anything in my digestive tract I would have expelled it again. Everything I feared would happen….happened.

“Zinc, did they free Amora?”

He nodded again. My tongue shrunk back in my mouth and my jaw clamped down on it. Was this it? Was it all over for us?

“We had to make a full retreat. People scattered. Everyone who was in Echo is now somewhere in the valley, running for their lives. I...I mean, we, managed to get together. We are en route to the river. The only reason they haven’t caught up to is us is simply because they’re taking their damn time hunting down the stragglers.”

“Wait!” I suddenly interrupted. “What happened to the Constables? To Cinna?”

“I...I don’t know”

“Well...wait what? How did you get here?”

“Major Kestrel heard about the attack on the convoy. When we found the camp we thought we might as well save you guys. Pretty lucky to.”

I nodded. It was about that point I noticed another crowd of people moving up the road toward the medical tent. These were not soldiers. They were not prisoners. They were some other band of refugees. Women, children, elderly, the infirm. All scared, all desperate.

“What is going on over there? Did they come with you?”

Zinc looked equally confused. We both exchanged a pair of bewildered looks.

“Wait, Zinc, the river? Why the river? Why not head back toward Juliet?”

“Well...that’s kind of what I’ve been afraid to tell you…”

My face sank. The corners of my mouth twitched with awful anxiousness. What could he mean? Did they already reach Juliet as well? Was all lost? Everything I had worked for. All those sleepless nights and gut-wrenching mornings wasted? All the beatings and the fear? For nothing…

That’s when another familiar voice cried out over the mulled mumbling of the weary mob. Amongst the desperation her’s seemed most eminent. The broad sweep of grey faces cast in the dimming afternoon shade was only outmatched in their hopelessness by this one spark of anticipation.

“Ellis! Ellis! Here!” the woman cried. Finally I saw her. Cyan came running out of the crowd. A rather prominent trail of blood dripped down from her nose onto her shirt. It was then I realized what was happening.

“Cyan? Are you? Did these?”

“Yes, we are coming from Juliet…”

“But...but...why I...I don’t understand”

Was I crying? I could feel the tears streaming down my face. I was not sad. I was not scared. I was just so shocked. The salty fluids stung my already strained eyes. My throat felt as though it had swollen shut.

“Ellis, you need to calm down. Have you been helped yet?” she said as she placed a hand on my forehead.

“We just pulled him from the death camp. He’ll be a’right” Zinc muttered.

“Cyan, what happened at Juliet?” I finally managed to blurt out.

She looked down. Nothing, it would seem, would allow her to meet me eye to eye. She set another of her hands on top of mine. I reflexively reached out and grabbed it.

“Ellis, she’s...she’s gotten free. Aleph got out.”

“Vera!” I corrected.

“Yes, Vera, she...somehow the chamber door was left unlocked. No one knows how. No one bothered to check, it was never supposed to be opened. She just...walked right out. Last night. The camp...it was unprepared. Helpless. Oh god Ellis…”

Cyan immediately fell to sobbing. Zinc knelt down to help her up. I, in the meantime, simply sat staring at the trees. I watched how the wind softly moved them...and became angry that nature should give me the delusion of peace, when in actuality the entire world was falling apart.

At that moment, I could not decide what the worst decision of my life had been. As I shut the truck’s driver side door and stepped down onto the dusty ground there was a moment of emotional reprieve. It quickly passed. During the drive over I thought it must have been when I opened the damn braces in Vera’s cell. That’s what caused all of this anyway. It was reckless, irresponsible, who knows how many died because of it? Surely no one would ever count. I could already tell as I waded through the rubble and debris that this was my only legacy. Indiscriminate carnage. Yet, even amidst the thousands of collapsed tents, the few crumpled vehicles, and the dozen shattered buildings I saw few bodies. One civilian man lay face down beneath a chunk of concrete. A Blue Shirt still clutching his rifle lay pinned and motionless against an overturned Jeep. I thought that even with all this death (which was clearly my fault) I somehow wanted it. Maybe not directly this but perhaps I wanted to set her free. Somewhere in the recesses of my unconscious I had secretly wished for it. I still naively believed that she was capable of compassion.

Stealing that truck was not wise. The soldiers and panicked civilians chased me for nearly a hundred yards. I’d would be deemed a deserter. Whatever, I didn’t care. I had to come back. I needed to see it. I needed to know what I had done.

Then, I remembered the early days. When, my father’s bakery fell. I remembered his words. I remembered my words. They were as clear at that moment as they had been when I first heard them.

“Ellis, go. This world is too much for me!”

I could have pulled him out. It would have been easy. All it would have taken was a few moved stones and a little effort. I could’ve done it, but I was too afraid. Fear, not purpose, has motivated me all those years. Even now, after all this time I see that.

Then, I remembered where I was, and at that instant I knew that this had to be the stupidest decision of my life. Returning to that place. Too think, just four days prior I had walked its streets. All was in order...or at least most of it was. Now it was just this...waste. I was quietly thankful that my father had not lived to see this. Thankful he didn’t witness my greatest failure, because I know he would have been disappointed.

That’s when I saw her. Sure enough, through the mountains of rubble and piles of discarded miscellany, the containment chamber still stood. It loomed over all like an imperious fortress, unshaken by the wave of destruction. Inside, through the fogged plexiglass I could still see the enormous silhouette I had become so familiar with. She sat, as she always did, hunched over. The steel outer locks had been clearly torn from their anchors. This brought many questions to mind.

Why had she stayed? Why, of all places, did she go back into her cell? Perhaps most importantly: What should I do next?

I cannot tell you what drove me to her. I cannot tell you because I do not know. It was painful to climb over the endless piles of canvas. It was painful to think of fleeing. The only thing I could do was face my fears. I owed all those poor souls that much. Maybe I deserved it. Running into the fray like that. Maybe I wanted to die; for her to kill me and end it all.

Fair. Is. Fair

Whatever it was, it spurred me on with such intensity that I grew scared of myself. My shaking limbs were gone. The countless injuries I had endured over the last few days melted away as I took the shattered staircase up to the main building. Its roof had caved in. Piles of cinder blocks lightly covered a string of bodies which I dared not look at. I feared that at any moment one would spring to life again, crying for relief, for mercy, and I would be unable to give them either.

So I came to the vault. I opened it, just as I had many times before. Its gears echoed in the empty hallway that cast itself at my feet. I hastily stepped through and into the main chamber.

She was there, sitting, just as she might when still a prisoner. I entered with the intent to die, but I quickly realized that might not be as likely as I thought.

“Vera…” I said in a completely neutral tone. It was a mask to hide my true dismay.

She lifted her head, turned it a few cautious degrees in my direction, and through the veil of her hair I caught one of her azure eyes peering back at me. Both hands moved down the length of her shins until they rested comfortably on her ankles.

“Ell-Ellis?” she whispered back. Even I had a hard time hearing her. I said nothing. I just stood there and stared. No muscles pulsed, no breath of air exchanged. I wanted her to act first.

“Ellis?” she repeated. “I-” she paused. With her left hand she motioned as if she was about to brush the curtain of hair away from her face but she stopped as soon as the tips of her fingers brushed against the first few brown strands.

“I had to”

“Vera, I-”

“I had to do it Ellis”

“Is this punishment? Is this your revenge on me, because this is far greater than anything else you could have done…”

“No Ellis”

“IS THIS BECAUSE OF ME?” I found myself suddenly screaming. When I finished my outburst I found that I had collapsed onto the ground in a raw puddle. Vera finally smoothed her hair from her face and turned her body toward me. I saw her clearly now. Nothing about her was very different...aside from the dirty smudges on her hands, knees, and feet. Coarse, maroon stains were found intermingled with the grime.  Her once ivory shaded clothing had become tainted with gunpowder and cement dust. Beyond all that however, she seemed, for the first time, completely human.

“Ellis!” she roared. I remained sprawled in a strange crouching position, choking for air.

“Ellis this was revenge on them!”

“Vera I can’t, I can’t be this anymore…”

“Ellis shhh, shhh” she tried to hush me with a consoling tone. “This has been a long time coming. Are you...are you really that surprised?”

To be honest I was. Logically I knew that this sort of thing was very likely, but for some reason I chose not to believe it. The psychologist in me was dead. But looking back I now think he was killed long before that point.

“Yes!” I screamed back up at her. “I don’t know why but yes...I am.” Vera turned away from me for a second. She stared directly ahead at the wall. When she spoke again there was restrained fury in her voice.

“Ellis, you have been...good to me. Not many people in my life have been. But you are naive. You don’t know me, you never have. This was the only way this could end. Death is the only way any of this ever ends. Maybe it's my fault for not having shown you this earlier.”

“Vera…”

“No, this needs to be said. I need to go ahead and get it all out there now.” she groaned amidst half angry sobs. “I have hated this world the second I entered it. I came before, but things were...different. Men lived in cities of stone not glass. They carried sharp sticks and wore yellow metals. I was scared of them and they were scared of me. So I ran away. Darkness in and out. I was only seventeen my first time, and I never wanted to return. A decade must have gone by, and this...Asphod guy. He finds the same darkness. He begins telling everyone about it. I had come to hate my world more, so I thought...you know maybe it would be better. I decided not to be afraid. I wanted to walk amongst your kind like a god. Only...when I came back things were completely different.” She stopped for a moment to look at me. Her left hand stretched out toward me. Her palm held up, leveling carefully against the rim of the outer platform.

“Ellis, come here…”

I just backed away. I scrambled wildly with my arms and legs until I was against the wall. Vera, defeated, withdrew her hand and twitched with spite.

“When I came before I had nothing to fear. But when I came back, there were so many new, strange, terrifying things. You had...bombs, gas, drugs, flying machines. There were others like me. I thought that if I stayed by some of my own kind I would make it. But they scared me as well, so I tried to eliminate them. Well...you know how that worked out. Then I ended up here! Here of all places. They taunted me with death. They brought you in here to make me feel like I had a chance. Snatch you away. Prod me. Drug me. Why? Because they were scared. Because I was scared. But you see Ellis…”  Vera let her knees drop as she shifted onto her side. One hand planted itself firmly on the ground while the other moved up to her chest. “I’m not afraid anymore. I set myself free. I overcame it all. Is that not worth anything?”

Between my gasps of oxygen I fished out the words I wished to say:

“Vera, this...this didn’t have to happen. How could you do that to so many innocent people? How could you do that to me? I thought...I thought you liked me?

“I HATED YOU!” she screamed. The force of her voice nearly snapped me in two. Tears now flowed freely from her eyes. “I hated you and I cared about you all at once.”

“I don’t understand…”

“Stop trying to understand me and just listen!” Vera sobbed. “That’s all I ever wanted from you anyway. Just to listen. But you had to come in here and try to read me. Judge me. Whatever the hell you were doing.”

“That’s why I was here!”

“No Ellis…” she sighed. “They just wanted a reason to kill me. They didn’t care about you...so why do you even care about them?”

Everything fell. The whole shackle of truth kept me as the roof of my mind fell down. None of this was new...none of it was inconceivable. I think maybe that’s why it was so hard. Everyone saw this coming. The escape, the destruction, even my return. It was as though it was written in the stars. I must have been the only one to ignore it though. Everything just seemed easier that way.

“Well, Vera…” I began once more. “that’s just something you don’t understand. Empathy...it’s strong in us. Your kind tear down our buildings and stomp us into puddles of blood but you can’t destroy everything we are.” My words felt insincere and cliche. They were, but at that moment I felt bound to them.

“You would defend your kind when they have done so much evil? To me? To each other? You said so yourself. Sin Core or whatever the hell you call them, fucking with people. You think you’re so great but you are no different from us. I’d bet if things were reversed you’d do the same.”

There was some truth in her words. Nevertheless there were lies too. I would make sure she knew it too.

“You are wrong. Partially. I have learned a lot since I first came here. When I first came to you I was scared. Every time after that when we would sit and talk for hours about whatever, I was still scared. You made me think you were different but you’re still just a fucking colossal murdering psychopath like the rest of them!”

Vera wiped the tears from her eyes with her wrist. The anguish in her face gave way to concern. She then leaned closer, propping her upper body up against the floor with crossed arms. The scarlett in her eyes filled me with a different sort of regret. One I could not clearly define.

“I am what I have always been Ellis. I tried to go my own way. To live a separately as I could. But when a crowd of people on a bridge start shooting wildly at me, yelling drunken insults. I have to overturn them. I have to hold them underwater because then I am not afraid anymore. I’ve never known any other way. That is...until you came along.”

“And what, am I supposed to believe I showed you how to be good? Is that it?”

“You showed me something different. Its not your fault I am incapable of taking it up. And fuck it! You know what? Its not my fault either!” she hissed. “People are the way they are Ellis, nothing changes that. No amount of therapy or luxury will make me your friend.”

We both fell silent.

“So, if we are not friends then. What are we?”

Vera just stared blankly back at me. Her rapid blinking only made her response even more trivial.

“I don’t know Ellis”

“Am I your enemy then? Like they were?”

Again Vera paused. I started to pick myself back up again. Untying my knotted limbs so that I had at least some semblance of dignity.

“No,” she said, stifling a smile. “Of course not”

All that was left that needed to be said suddenly disappeared as though the drain in the center of the room suddenly sucked it away. Neither of us were comfortable with each other yet. Hell, we may never have been comfortable with one another ever again. The possibility seemed distant, but I was content. Vera sniffled a bit, wiping what fluids she could from her face.

“So,” she eventually said. “Now what”

“You sure you don’t want to kill me?” I asked. It wasn’t even a joke. I figured I probably deserved it more than anyone. I held my arms aloft in a Christ like pose. If she wanted me dead she would have to see to it right then and there.

“Of course not, stop it.”

Vera held her hand out for me once again and this time I felt as though I was required to climb aboard. So I did, although the whole movement was much more awkward than it had been prior. Once I sat down on her palm she brought me up to chin level.

“Scared?”

“As always”

“Hmph, fair enough”

The suspension of our problems was not healthy. I knew it, she knew it. We were taking the easy way out all over again. I could tell both of us felt resentment toward one another. The mutual suffering was definable now at the very least.

“You know, Amora is going to kill you”

“I figured…”

“No, Vera, she’s out, she’s coming…”

Vera sighed. Her head drooped a bit before finally responding.

“I’m starting to think I’ll never be rid of her…”

Then we were quiet again. Outside the wind whistled through the slight crack in the door. It was like ancient music. Soft pipes of Arcady that invoked us both with a keen curiosity. We studied each other for another few seconds. I felt like a nobody. Then again who needs to be a someone? It seemed pointless. Vera, even in spite of all her titanic grandeur, felt the same way. I could tell. It was something in the temperature of her skin. She wanted to hide it, which I found strange considering how much she wanted to be a nobody. Those antique gales kept sweeping in, easing my nerves and reminding me of a time when I thought the greatest trouble I’d ever encounter was not being able to see my feet in the winter time. Maybe being a nobody wouldn’t be so bad. It helps when you have someone else to be a nobody with.

 

Religion was dead by that point. Before their arrival it was facing its final days. People knelt in pews and pressed their foreheads on mats for centuries but the modern age was slowly whittling that away. Millions still crowded into places of worship but then the world ended. It wasn’t how any of us expected it. Then again, I think we destroyed ourselves just as much as the giants did.

Even whilst I sat, staring at the indentation in Vera’s neck, searching for a happy thought, a pleasant memory, anything to drag me back out of this pit of anguish, I couldn’t help thinking about how we fucked up as a species. The scrutiny that Vera placed on me didn’t help. Then, I began to consider what the future might hold. Since the invasion everyone was mostly concerned about the present. No one even considered what might lay ahead when they could hardly keep themselves fed or sheltered. Now, in my state of apparent safety, I felt I could consider it. Weird. Safety. That’s not what I would have expected to feel in a time like this. Not after what happened outside.

“Thinking again?”

I looked up at her. All the contempt she once had was stored away in the deeper parts of her being. I nodded slowly but I don’t think she noticed. She gave her hand a slight bob, forcing me to stabilize myself.

“Yeah, just...thinking about what’s going to happen now…”

“Oh?” she started “and what do you think is going to happen now?”

Honestly I was thinking very long term. About what may become of  humankind, the giants. One thing I was certain of was no one would really win. But when I really thought about what would happen in the next few hours or days I thought only of the blank eyes I had seen during my ascent to the chamber.

“More of this I suppose”

Vera did not smile. In fact it was the single most exhausted look I’ve ever seen on another person. Was the guilt finally catching up to her?

“I have...so many questions. I don’t know where to begin..”

“Ellis, do not make me answer any more. It is pointless…”

“I know I’m just...so confused”

A wave of warm air smashed into me, nearly causing me to fall onto my back. I looked up. Vera’s nostrils flared and her eyes danced perceptively over my minuscule form. I wasn’t sure what she was so frustrated by but I didn’t feel like probing any further.

“Then be confused Ellis. God dammit just leave it be.”

“Alright, I can do that…”

“Good.” she quietly said.

Things returned to their submissive state of calm. I avoided looking at her face while she avoided straying from mine. Part of me wanted to leap off her hand to the floor below. Just to end the silence. The brooding blend of rejection and commitment. That’s when I suddenly felt my own inertia drive me face first into her palm. Her hand shot up and then bobbed back down. All the while the entire chamber groan and squeaked as she moved her limbs about. When her palm finally leveled out against I saw that she had taken to laying back down on her back. She held me aloft over her collarbone for a moment before tilting her hand ever so slightly, causing me to slip off onto her chest.

My perspective of her was always changing. I don’t just mean my visual perspective either. One moment she is a far reaching portrait that seemed to sing the hymn of intellectual beauty. Now, she was a landscape, a far stretching continent with mountains and hills. Flat plains and distant canyons which I could not hope to explore even in my mind. This only unsettled me more. To my right was the vast expanse of her jawline bounded by her alabaster neck. To my left was the gentle upward slope of her breasts. It felt wrong, almost voyeuristic to consider addressing anything but her face. But, at the same time, i could not bear to look at her. That’s pretty hard to do when she is literally everywhere around you.

The residual rise and fall of her breathing kept me alert though. I precariously took a seat on bare flesh. I felt its heat radiating into me. I felt its life surge beneath me as blood and marrow.

“Where will you go now?” she finally said. Somehow feeling the words actually stretch through her body made them twice as loud. It was so bad I couldn’t even really think of what she even meant for some time.

“I don’t know” I eventually said. “Back to the others I suppose.”

She shifted a little beneath me, as if unsettled. I wanted to say nothing more but I knew she would not allow that. Something about being there was enough for me. I felt words could only taint it further.

“Why would you do that?” she sneered. “They could kill you...Is that really what you want?”

I thought about that for a little while. Life was too much. This life especially. I guess it was my purpose to try and make it better but by that point the only thing keeping me from really committing to it was the fear of what lie beyond. It's easy to fear death when it is only a black void. One which there are no true authorities. I guess that’s why so many people prefer to think of it as a light, or garden, or the embrace of someone you once knew.

“Maybe that’s for the best.”

Vera’s response to my reservations was swift and acidic. “ELLIS.” I jumped at the ferocity.

“You don’t owe them anything. You never have. This. All of what I have done. You don’t need to apologize for. I’ll never understand you creatures. Running to one another for safety when it just gives my kind larger targets. When in the end its YOU who stab each other in the back. I’m so sick of it all. If you want to go then...then…”

“Vera no please I won’t survive otherwise. I have to go back”

“Not if I don’t allow it.”

“So what you’ll just keep me against my will? Not even you can keep that up forever.”

I could hear another rush of air escape her nostrils as she considered her  impulsive plan. I leaned back and let the small of my back touch down on her skin. It made my abdomen ache for a moment but it relaxed as I eased backward.

“And what about you? Where will you go?”

Again Vera’s response was quick and decided. I guess she had been thinking about it some time.

“I’ve grown so used to this place.” she droned. “I think I’ll stay here, at least for a time. Its as good a place to sleep as any, and the only one I know of that will keep me out of the rain”

I was a bit shocked. Naturally I would have assumed that she’d want to get as far away from this place as possible. Yet, still she lingered here. Then I remembered what she said about trying to understand, so I just sighed and let her breathing numb my head.

“Ellis…” she gently whispered

“Yes?”

“What’s it like to be happy?”

“I-”

“Have you ever known?”

“Yes”

“Tell me about it”

“I can’t”

“Please!” she pleaded. I rubbed the back of my head on the surface of her skin.

“No”

Maybe it was cruel, but I think it would have been much crueler to fill her head with empty hopes.

“Dammit where are you?” I huffed as I shook my shoe harshly in the air. Perhaps a bit too harshly. Finally the object of my frustration, a jagged grey piece of gravel, tumbled out onto the dusty earth. Satisfied I slipped it back over my heel and began looping the laces once again. When I looked back over my shoulder I saw Vera still lying prone through the chamber’s translucent glass. It was odd, as her body only barely peeked out over the opaque foundations. About half an hour earlier she had placed me back on the outer edge. Apparently she had been up most of the night wreaking havoc and was only now feeling the fatigue overtake her. As she drifted off to sleep I gave her an empty promise of my return. Or, at least now it felt empty. At the moment I was convinced I would return but now, wandering about the products of her work I felt a strong urge to run into the woods. To live amongst the beasts and never return to the civilized world. It wasn’t so civilized anyway.

It was about that point I noticed the cloud of dust being thrown up along the wooded road three hundred yards to my left. The distant but unmistakable putter of an aging engine meant only one thing. Others were returning.

I didn’t even notice I was running toward them until I was already halfway there. The clouds grew as I approached, mixing with the humid air for a moment before dispersing upward into the clouded sky. The sunlight had long turned into a grey overcast sky. There would be rain soon. I felt it in the twitching winds.

When I was in fifty yards of the vehicle it slowed to a stop. It was a common transport, no doubt one of the militia scouts returning to see if the site was secure. Or maybe it was a scavenging party. Yet, when I saw the line of vehicles directly behind it I realized that things were much more serious that I had initially thought.

“Put your fucking hands where I can see them!” a man suddenly screeched. A Blue shirt in a torn uniform hopped out of the truck with an M4. My palms went up into the air and I, like a trained animal, dropped to my knees. A few more jumped out the back to see what the problem is. All the while, every vehicle in the train came to a halt in a strange rhythmic motion.

“Who is in charge here?” I cried out.

I didn’t have to wait long for an answer. “That...would be me.”

A figure with his neck in a brace and his arm in a sling came stumbling over. The shine from his bald head was only matched by the slight glimmer from his glasses.

“Constable Mica?”

“Yes, Ellis”

“I-I thought you were dead?”

“Dead?” he said with some disdain. “No, far from it...though I can’t say the same for many…” his voice dripped with disgust. The once friendly, collected demeanor he had for me was replaced with a harsh shell of bitterness. I couldn’t blame him.

“What about Grim? Treble?”

“Grim is coming with the second wave. Treble...we never found him”

My jaw dropped. No words poured out of my throat though. I was, quite completely, struck by a silent sickness. The hunger in my stomach finally caught up to me as well. Like, all the meals I had put off the last few weeks suddenly compounded into this one starving pain. That’s when I collapsed. When they did finally pick me back up I sat down on the fender of the truck. As I looked down the row of vehicles I saw many of the passengers and their escorts slowly diffusing out of their transports to see what was going on.

“Ellis, where have you been?”

“I came back. I had to talk to her.”

“And? How’d that work out…”

A few stray preliminary drops of precipitation struck the back of my neck. I paused and looked up at the sky as more began to rain down.

“It was...something.”

“Hmm I bet it was” Mica muttered spitefully under his breath. “Well we don’t have much time, the others. They are coming, we have been told to come back and prepare what defenses we have. We are trying to get all civilians as far away from here as possible. Psyn Corps troops are coming as well. They say they have a plan. A last ditch effort. Something they’ve been working on for some time. Now, I have been instructed to detain you whilst the preparations take place, but before I do so, I must know, where did she go? Did you find her? Did she get far?”

My mouth was dry. What else was there to say but the truth? What would happen then? How would they react to her presence. Surely it would be chaos. Worse yet how would she react? Would she continue her path of carnage. I had to tell them. Perhaps then I could at least save a few of them.

“Mica, no you all...you have to get out of here. She’s-” but it was that point I saw that they weren’t paying attention. Instead all eyes were fixed behind me. Once angry faces now were twisted into masks of shock, awe, and terror.

“Dear God!” one of them whispered. Then a woman, somewhere in the distance screamed. Others joined her, and soon, the once orderly motorcade descended into wild frenzy. Panicked people dropped their belongings and scattered in every direction. Those still in vehicles tried haphazardly to drive away, pushing people aside in the process. It was a mad riot, people shoved each other aside in their desperation to escape. Escape what? As I turned around I saw Vera had awoken. The chamber door was slid aside and she was in the process of stepping out. Even from this distance the tremor created by her footfalls could be felt. Her eyes lay locked on the swarm of people at the camp’s edge. It was too late.

Many of the soldiers didn’t know what to do. Some dropped their weapons and fled with the others. Some tried to find cover, while others simply barked incoherent commands to one another. I simply stood while the sea of people surged around me.

When she was completely out, Vera stood to her full height. Even in this gloom she seemed to cast a shadow. Maybe not a literal one but a shadow of fear, of immensity, of power. I took in everything and registered what it meant collectively. She just stared back with a stoic look on her face. Another few steps rocked the earth as she drew a little closer. I had lost all bearing on those around me. One oafish man nearly knocked me down in his hurry to escape. I just stared up at her. Both of Vera’s eyes flashed around the  mob, darting from one corner to the next. She must have been looking for me. Then, just when I thought it was all over she turned away. Steadily she began to stroll off in the opposite direction. The heavy thud of her footsteps began to ease up. Finally after a few more steps she looked back over her shoulder at the fray and gave a forced smile. Then she went on.

When the others saw that she was leaving the madness began to die down. Slowly people peeked from their meager hiding places at the retreating giantess. She bore no intense physical signs of anger or defeat. Instead her gait was casual, measured, and, in my personal opinion, a bit forced.

“What in the-?” one man muttered. A hand rested itself on my shoulder. When I turned to see who it belonged to I saw Mica staring out in disbelief at Vera’s retreating form.

“What did you say to her?”

“I didn’t really say anything.” I said with a pause. My right hand slipped into my pocket to grasp my father’s watch. “I just listened.”

Rain was steady now. It came down in even scatter. The thirsty ground drank it up like a man dying of thirst. The once dusty landscape was turned into a cool muddy marsh filled with woe. Night was falling soon, and the dark shadow cast by the clouds only made the hour seem later than it actually was. Once the clamor had died down people did one of two things. Those with the Blue Shirts and Psyn Corps had begun to set up their defenses. They could not outrun Amora and the others for much longer. So they decided they would hold them here. It was suicide. Everyone knew it. Yet even Constable Censor, the Psyn Corps officer who had recruited me, seemed somehow confident that they would succeed. In my time I learned a lot about the giants. For one they were complex, as complex as any human. But one thing that never ceased to be true was that the giants were hard to kill. Very hard. Killing one was considered a miracle, but three? It was unthinkable.

“Ellis”

It was strange to even consider that something as small and powerless as we humans could overcome them.

“Ellis”

But Psyn Corps said they had a plan.

“ELLIS!”

Suddenly I snapped out of it. I looked up to see Censor rubbing his forehead wearily. He sat across from me at a rather shoddy card table with a faulty leg. The teetering mesmerized me for a moment, forcing me into my own head.

“Ellis we need to go over this again.” he groaned with worry. Aside from the armed guards flanking him, he no longer seemed to have the same intimidating collectivity about him. The last few days had really worn him down.

“Where did she go Ellis?”

“I told you I don’t know. Why do you even care now? Don’t you have bigger things to worry about?”

“Ellis, where is she. She must have told you. She wouldn’t tell anyone else!”

Something in his voice betrayed his intentions. What was he really after? What was so special about Vera?

“Look she just left, ok. She saw the refugees coming back and she turned away.”

A long angry sigh escaped his nose. His face was stretched out like a rubber band, until finally, he snapped! With quick ferocity he pounded his fist onto the table. I jumped a bit before settling uncomfortably back in my seat.

“DAMMIT!” he screamed. Even his guards were a bit shocked.
“What is so important about Vera? You should be glad  she’s gone after all this.”

He looked as though he was about to snap at me again but he quickly reigned himself back in. His eyes remained shut, as though hot fire would erupt from them if they were opened. He finally calmed and gave me an answer

“We...we need her.”

“Need her for...for what?” but as I finished my question I started to catch on. The subtle nuances of it, the harsh realities too. It all was starting to fit together. I didn’t quite know how but it was becoming clear.  This whole...thing...this job, it was a lie. They were never going to execute Vera. Vera was the plan. So was Amora. That’s what this was all for.

“Constable” I said very slowly. “How did Vera escape your facility? And Amora?”

His expression told me that he was aware that I had started to make the connections. He leaned back in his chair and brought his thumb and forefinger up to the bridge of his nose. The silent disdain he had on his face was so judging, so arrogant I wanted to strike him onto the ground.

“Ellis...you do not understand war. It requires sacrifice. It requires strategy. You have been integral in it. You have been our greatest weapon.”

“So what you...you let them go? Made it look like an escape? For what I-what strategy could you possibly have?”

“Ellis, please calm down. Tell me...its simple math really...what is easier to defeat, one giant or two? Two or four?”

I just glared back across the table.

“And why should we fight them when they are just as eager to fight each other. All it took was a little push. A little information here and there. We couldn’t have hoped for better outcomes. You-”

“So what, have you been drugging them? Hypnosis? What?”

“I don’t quite understand…” he conceded.

“How are you supposed to control them?”

“Control them….why Ellis what do you mean?”

“I know about the tests you’ve been doing on your own people back at Echo. I know about the drugs, how are you doing it? Mood manipulation?”

Suddenly he began to chuckle softly to himself. With a shake of his head and a wagging of his finger Censor sat back forward. I didn’t know what he found to be so funny but I was not having it.

“What?”

“Ellis, that...first of all that was only once, a preliminary test in small doses, what you witnessed at the camp was very much true human nature. And the instance with Vera? That was just because she wasn’t as...open with her history. She needed a push. No, there are no drugs involved Ellis. Its all you. You are the leverage. Or at least you were.”

“I...I don’t…”

“Just calm down now.” He said in fake tone of sympathy. I bit my lip to keep from screaming with rage.

“What could I have-”

“Ellis, all it took was you. You asked them questions. You told them what the other said. It was really quite simple and now...that blonde bitch, whatever her name is, is coming here now to kill Aleph. They would have destroyed each other, and it didn’t take drugs or machines, it just took words. It just took you.”

I felt like my head was about to explode. The veins in my face burned with hot blood. Everything was choking me.

“YOU USED ME!” I surged “YOU USED ME AND YOU GOT ALL THOSE PEOPLE KILLED. FOR WHAT? SHE’S GONE NOW AND SHE WON’T BE ABLE TO DO SHIT!”

Censor’s face fell a bit. It was not regret though, only desperation. He rubbed the back of his hand on his forehead looked off to the side. Nothing at that moment could convince him to make eye contact with me.

“Yes, she is gone. We had anticipated she would stay. We would return here, have her occupied by the first wave of refugees until the other giants arrived. Now...well now its too late.”

I rushed to my feet and planted both palms on the table. I had so much to say, so much pent up fury to unleash. All semblance of human thought left my mind. For a moment I became like the giants themselves. Carnal, destructive, emotional. Censor started to shake his head ever so slightly.

“Its really a shame Ellis.” His hand slipped into his jacket pocket. A moment later he withdrew a shining handgun which he leveled at my chest. “You lost sight of who the real enemy. Its not us Ellis, we are mankind’s salvation. There needs to be some loss if we are to endure in this world, but you got too attached to that one. I don’t know what you told her and quite frankly I don’t care...all I need to know now is...Where is she?” As he finished speaking his thumb pulled the gun’s hammer back.

My anger outweighed my fear, but I did not make a move. Instead I remained frozen. My flesh begged to be bitten by that gun’s metal teeth. I would have loved it. I would have loved to have been shot, just so that I could rush over the table and twist that thing’s head three hundred sixty degrees.

“Sit….down…” he said with harsh enunciation. I eased back into my chair, all the while fuming wildly.

“Ellis, I’ll give you to the count of three.”

“How many know about this?” I grumbled

“One.”

“What will the people do when they find out what you have been up to?”

“Two”

“Who gave you these orders, is this high command?”

“Three”

I immediately winced. I shut my eyes and squealed like a pig. After all of this I was still afraid. I would always be afraid. Afraid of death, afraid of them, afraid of her. Maybe it was because I was afraid of myself. But, even after a few seconds waiting for death, nothing happened. Then, a cold metal ring pressed against my forehead.

“Ellis”

“I...I don’t know” I quivered.

“Hmph, well that’s disappointing then…”

“NOo no no wait!”

But before he could pull the trigger the earth shook. The table teetered briskly before settling back down again. Then it happened again. And again. Before long the ground reached an odd sort of resonance such that instead of a simple pattern of footfalls, it was like the earth was shaking itself to death in a persistent hum. I opened my eyes and saw that Censor had began putting away his gun.

“Hmm, well looks like we may not have to go looking for her after all.”

Outside the distant frightened shouts waded in through the flaps of the makeshift tent they had erected. Both guards grew anxious and, with the Constable’s orders, exited in hurry.
“Come now Ellis, lets see if we can’t have you...dissuade her for a bit.”

“Why should I help you?”

“You’re really going to let all those people die for nothing?” he said coyly.

In my anger I pushed past him and exited the tent. What I saw when I emerged was not what either of us were expecting. My blood ran cold as I saw, on the horizon three massive forms slowly but confidently descending on the field of refugees at their feet. Even the sparse light I could see the golden shine of the central giant’s hair. They seemed infinitely large at this distance.

“Oh...oh no.” I heard the Constable whisper behind me.

We had reached it. Armageddon. The last great battle on which mankind would place all bets. Or at least, that’s the way it felt at the time. Even as I stared at the hulking giantess kneel down over a edge of the furthest motorcade I could only think of the rest of the world and how this, as awful and final as it felt, was a regular occurrence. The screams of pain, of terror, of despair, there were only drowned out by the sudden grinding of wheels and chugging of guns. All was a singular noise then. The monstrous bellow of war. Man’s great legacy.

 

So all was fallen, all dismay

And only sorrow ruled the day

Not even gods, for all they’re worth

Could undo the promised scourge of birth

For all are given breath and lives

To wait as the walking dusk arrives

You have not heard true thunder. Not like this. With that in mind, imagine how terrifying it must be to realize that it is man’s machines that drown out nature’s roar. The contest was inconsistent but every time the crash of artillery batteries destroyed the ripple of lightning. I heard nothing else, except for the pounding footsteps. All darkness was arrayed in ranks. Water poured out of the sky and mingled with the blood shredding through the atmosphere.

Now imagine even with all that power, they accomplish nothing. There were five positions. None ever ceased to rain hell down upon our foes. The three colossi. The angels of death. I never in all my years would have thought that they would look like this. Amora stood over the center of camp, her eyes scanning the crater of wasted life that she had just carved out of the surging mass. The human population seemed to pulse with a singular life, like it had become a larger, singular organism. The other two were indescribable. The darkness dulled many of their features but they were clearly male. One, whom Amora seemed to cling to, had a square face singed black with awful burns. His arms were worse. Though he was fit he didn’t not appear in good health. His limbs sagged and he would drag his feet when he walked. He was only a little taller than Amora, with dirty blonde hair that came down to his shoulders, and a layer of stubble on his face. The third giant, the one whose name I could not remember, was odd and aloof. Not at all how one would expect a murderous male to appear. He was, by giant’s standards, thin and gangly. Though I didn’t observe him for long it was clear he was at the bottom of their social hierarchy. The way the other two would speak down to him, rolled their eyes, even used physical bullying to dominate him was deeply troubling. Yet, as I watched their approach I felt as though I learned  more about their group dynamic than I ever had from Vera or Amora’s tales.

The carnage started immediately. I can’t tell you exactly how it happened, I couldn’t bare to look at it, I was just trying to escape. What I do remember was that they tried to surround the main mob from three sides. They weren’t quite so successful though. The constant barrage of distant artillery and carefully placed explosives kept them constantly readjusting their paths. Gurn, or the one who I assumed to be Gurn, became consumed with battle-hardened fury. Despite his anger though, his actions were sluggish and weary. The other male lashed out at the scattering humans with jerking movements, as though he were afraid to touch them. Only Amora seemed to glow with malicious vigor.

“God dammit, get those heavy gunners to their flank, now before they maneuver!” Censor screamed into a radio. The other side gave no response. Not that they could be heard anyway. The grumble of guns, the shaking earth, the screams of thousands rattled the human senses. Was this hell? I sat stupefied for a moment. Finally, someone broke my concentration. A jittery hand seized my arm. When I spun to face them I saw Constable Mica looking on at the fray with quivering terror.

“E-e-e-ellis” he stuttered. “Wha, what do I do, what do we do, you must know something. What have you learned. Y-y-you must know!”

I pulled away from him. The adrenaline in my system made me want to strike back but I stopped myself in time. The tears in his eyes meant he knew there was nothing to be done. I guess I should have said something reassuring, but lies just seemed pointless at the time.

“There’s nothing to be done Consta-”

“Maybe you can talk to them, you know her right? Y-you can reason with them.”

“There’s nothing to do now Constable!” I screamed. “Its over, she’d probably take greater pleasure in killing me than anyone else here.”

He fell into harsh sobbing. I placed a single hand on his shoulder and tried to pull him away.

“Come on Constable, we can still get out of here.”

“No” he muttered quietly. “I’m not abandoning my post.” With a quick sniffle, he pulled his sidearm off his belt and began tentatively walking toward the fray.

“Goodbye Ellis,” he said. “You’ve been a good soldier. Despite what the others may say.”

That was the last I saw of him. He disappeared into a wave of panicked refugees crashing past him in the opposite direction. They seemed to consume his form like waves sweeping away a pebble on a beach. At the moment I didn’t think much of it and...well, now I wish I had.

Minutes later I was on the far north road. Already a hundred people pushed past me to hide in the rubble of the old camp or scatter in the shallow forests. I just kept walking. That’s right, walking. The giants were making slow progress behind us, and the terrible, deafening clamor they created in their sick games served only as a reminder that they’d soon be upon us. Every once in a while I’d fall to the ground because of the catastrophic tremors. It was a wonder that I was able to move at all.

To my right, the troop of harpooners was wading through the crowd. You probably don’t remember them, those models aren’t made anymore, but they were these large armored vehicles. Not many produced but they were originally used for bridge laying in the military. Anyway, they were modified to shoot these long barbs that would stick in the giants, it was one of our most effective weapons against them. Anyway, four of them ground down past me in a single column. The grinding of their treads tore through the soil like teeth.

“Ellis!” another voice cried out amid the crowd. I didn’t catch it at first but after a few more attempts I twisted my neck around. Zinc, in all his oiled glory, sat atop one of the vehicles as it puttered past. He waved a tenuous wave in my direction. His eyes too were sullen and puffy, as though he too had been crying. I ran up to him and took up a steady pace next to the gas guzzling machine.

“Zinc, what are you doing?” I cried out to him.

“I’m going to do my job.” he shakily replied. “I’m going to keep these things running while they bring those fuckers down!”

I shook my head in disbelief. I even remember reaching up to him, as if to pull him off the vehicle.

“No, you- you can’t. You’ll die out there, come with me, we have to go!”

Zinc’s somber face gave way to disappointment. After shaking his head slowly he replied:

“No Ellis, this is what I’m here to do. This is my purpose, if I can even do just a little good, save a single life, that’s enough. Goodbye Ellis.”

“Wait no!” I screamed again, chasing after Zinc. The harpooner began to pick up speed as it came to a longer, flatter plane. I tried to run and keep up with it, but the fatigue and pain in my limbs was too much. The vehicle was gone in a matter of moments, leaving me on the scattered plane alone. Zinc never once looked back.

That’s when I felt some heavy weight climb out of my stomach and into my chest. I stood paralyzed in an eager stupor, drinking in the awful sounds of death and chaos surrounding me. The ebb of my mind suddenly become like clay. It hardened from its usual liquid state into a moldable consistency. I decided then that all that had been expected of me by the world and by myself was complete bullshit. I didn’t care. My life meant nothing already, but it wasn’t too late for that to change. I remember smoothing out my shirt and feeling the static electricity building up in my palms. Then, after turning back toward the three hulking shadows in the distance I started forward. I did not care about the rain. I did not care about the mud or the screams. I was not going to leave this, not now, not after everything…

I don’t think I have to tell you how far I got. The closer I would come to fray the more disastrous it became. There was one moment when the dust and debris forced me to drop to the ground. I shielded my face with my shaking limbs in the hope that I would not be blinded. The shrieks of metal and mouths crashed against me in waves. I had to find others, I had to help them to safety. There was something I could do, I just had to find it. I lept over a fallen corpse and began  toward a ravine of people. They scattered in the shadow of the two closest giants. I looked up in the dim light through the light scatter of rain. Gurn and Amora were no more than six hundred feet from where I stood. Luckily they seemed preoccupied with another matter. I kept running all the while. The sting in my lungs gave me reduced purpose.

Then, amidst the confusion, something caught the end of my foot and I careened down onto the muddy earth. Just as I was about to pick myself back up a mob passed over me. The harsh tread of a few boots slammed into my back, forcing me back into the filthy embrace of the ground. When they had gone I picked my head out of the trench and spat bits of soil. The sickly sweet taste of minerals grinding in the corners of my mouth made me want to vomit. I carefully pushed myself out of the slop when, all of a sudden, something seized my shirt. It hoisted me upward roughly and, for a moment, my heart nearly exploded. I thought perhaps one of the giants seized me but when I finally rocked back onto my feet I saw two, dark but battered figures through the veil of smoke.

“You!” one of them grumbled. Then, through the brief yellow flash of a distant explosion I saw the man’s fleeting illuminated face.

“Deck…?” I muttered hoarsely. Behind him was one of his old cronies. At first I expected him to murder me right there, but, instead of snapping my neck, I heard only fumbled words trying to escape his throat.

“You-you have to dos uhm, thing”

He seemed to be suffering from shock induced aphasia. It made him even more unbearable but I had to try and listen.

“What?”

“Yu, neeed to”

Suddenly his friend pushed past him and stepped in front of me. The once strong, resolute Deck crumpled like a dried leaf. The other figure spoke with more severity, but his voice still trembled with a detectable ambivalence.

“He says you need to talk to these things. You know them, you...you were with them!”

I shook my head vigorously, just as another violent tremor rocked the earth. I had to stabilize myself on the stranger, who, after the shaking subsided, aggressively pushed me off.

“Look I don't’ care if you want to or not you have to tell them something to get them off our back!” he screamed. Before I could protest he seized me by the collar and started dragging me toward the battlements. I tried to look up at the towering bodies of Gurn and Amora but the rain blinded me. Suddenly, a harsh spray slapped me in the face. When I opened my eyes I felt warm liquid running down my face. Was it blood? I could not tell.

“I can’t...I can’t help you!” I cried, desperately trying to pull myself away. A flaming transport went careening overhead , crashing into the remains of tree not fifty feet behind us. The resulting explosion sent all three of us to the ground. All sound was blanked. The ringing in my ears made me believe that, for a moment, I might be dead. The sensation of heat was still present though. It's scalding fingers pulled me back into reality as the fire-ball diffused into the atmosphere. The brief flash of light illuminated the dark, mountainous beings. Amora was near.

“Ge-”

A single syllable. It was all I heard. Then another. Then the roar of pain and suffering returned to me. A strong, sweaty hand dragged me to my feet. Deck’s companion had a blackened face. Ash scattered along his brow like he was some profane figure. A fallen angel at the gates of hell or heaven.

“Get up, Get up!” He screamed. This time though, my reaction was more fierce. I pulled away and began to stumble down toward a broken wreckage of unknown origin. I didn’t know where I was going but I knew I didn’t want to stay there. When I made it thirty feet I turned back. The others were still screaming at me. Cursing and making curious noises of primal discordance.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he screamed. I turned back, my head bowed forward slightly to hide the trickles of tears sliding down my face. “You think you can get us into this mess and then just leave?” he continued on. I looked up, faced him squarely. “This is not a-”

But then that was it. Another flash of pain. Like a candle’s wick being snuffed out by two fingers, the pair was gone. After the dust and shock disapeared I looked up. Realizing I had fallen into an uncomfortable crouching position, I quickly readjusted myself to run away. A wall of pale skin was all that was left in their place. I followed it with my eyes up the wrist, the arm, the shoulder, only stopping when I saw the colossal shadowed visage of my one-time patient. Her face was completely obscured by darkness but I knew exactly what lay upon it. Anger, satisfaction, relief. My old self would normally have tried to escape, but I knew that her eyes lay fixed upon me, and fleeing would be as effective as trying to hurt her with a thrown rock.

“Well” an ancient whisper echoed. “This is an opportunity I was starting to think I’d miss.” The devilish tone of Amora’s voice filled me with a supernatural sense of dread. I turned to her and tried to speak, but before a word could escape my lips a flash of movement caught my attention. Another crippling pressure on either side of my body expelled my breath and hope. The ground retreated below me and, moments later, I collapsed onto a familiar surface. All the blood and chemicals dancing around my brain left me irreversibly dazed. Even now I feel like that dizziness still holds me in its greedy clutches.

Again my eyes knew exactly where to go. I peered up into the shadow that should have been Amora’s face. She wore the darkness well. It did not lay upon her like a mask or an uncertain veil but rather it was somehow at home on her, and she was at home in it. Yet, even despite her malice and savagery, it was not an evil darkness. Rather it was a blinding one. A separation from experience. I felt only pity.

“So, this is what it has come to?” I called up to her. She nodded. This wasn’t how I’d expected it to all go down. I did not expect for her to kill me. I did not expect for her to seem so ambivalent in the moment. Her thirst for blood seemed sated. If anything it was as though my death was a chore. One she just wanted to get over with.

“You’ve been an odd little thing…” she said blankly.

“You’ve been exactly what I expected.” I responded. She seemed hurt by the remark. I could feel her fingers twitch behind me slightly. I set my feet further apart and looked back up into her colossal eyes.

“So what will come after this?” I asked. “That’s all I want to know.”

“What do you mean?”

“After I’m gone, after you’ve wiped all of the others out, then what? More? You keep going on like this till you’re dead?”

She paused. I could sense the flutter of her eyelids as she considered my words.

“Is that not what you expected?”

“Just get on with it.”

But she didn’t make a move. Instead she stared at me a little longer. Finally, when I thought her hesitation finally subsided, just as she was poised to seize her retribution, something stayed her wrath. She looked away at something in the distance. The thunder of cannon fire was dimmer, while the victorious grunts of the other giants swelled.

I knew what it must have been long before I ever saw it. Nevertheless, with my titanic captor occupied I ran to the edge of her palm and peered in between her fingers. There, illuminated by a few stray spotlights of those furthest from the fray, was another enormous figure. The slight slant to the hips and the way her hair lay to one side was all I needed to confirm her identity. Amora’s hand began to tremble. Her breathing was quick and furious. For a second I think I even heard a sob. When I looked up to her I saw that her attention was locked on the newcomer. Then my head swiveled around to the others. Both males looked on as well. Gurn tilted his head slightly while the other quickly turned his attention back to the assault.

The four of us remained in a state of suspension. As if waiting for some cue. Then, just as another barrage rained down from the distant batteries, all hell broke loose. Amora tried to shield herself with her other arm and I was thrown onto my back. When we both recovered I saw Gurn had moved. No, not just moved. He began to charge at Vera. It was swift, ferocious, and unexpected. The attack thundered like the bellows of the earth. Creation seemed to quake. The fires of hell and the lights of paradise dimmed in its wake. Vera was not ready and Gurn slammed into her with all the force he could muster.

The two crashed onto the earth. The bodies falling together was, even to this day, one of the most magnificent things I’ve ever seen. It made me truly believe that there was beauty in destruction. Like the shifting of the earth’s plate, the submission of the skies, or the cleansing of a continent by some horrific tidal wave. Then they were obscured. Debris, smoke, dust, everything blinded us to what was going on. What we did perceive though, was the screams. Gurn grunted with rage.It was an Id driven, animalistic, guttural sound that terrified me. Vera only shrieked. The only other time I had heard a scream like that was all those days ago during Vera’s first meltdown. It was so tortured, so fearful, that it finally helped me to decide that these beings, despite their size and cruelty, were in fact human. I had known human suffering and I had now known the same pain in their kind. I was certain about it.

When some of the dust did start to clear I saw Gurn lay atop Vera, pinning her arms down with his hands. The dry thrusts of his pelvis made me want to vomit again, but I had nothing in my stomach to expel. The horrible cries of anguish were worse though. I felt responsible, I don’t know why but I did. Then, the whole horrible scene drew a bit closer. I turned back to Amora and saw that she had begun making a few timid steps toward them. What little of her face I could see clearly was glazed over in a broken sort of apathy.

The other giant did nothing. It was as though he was just trying to ignore it all. We grew closer and closer and Vera’s screams became more and more crippling. Amora’s own deterioration wasn’t helping either. When I finally looked back out I saw that Amora now stood over them. I looked up at her and she looked down at me. We exchanged no words. Instead, as her crimson eyes bled rivers of tears, she slowly, cautiously lowered me to the ground.

With a slight tilt of her hand she let me slide off onto the ground. Then, before standing back to her full height she reached out and lifted the body of a half-buried helicopter out of a pile of debris. The horrible noise of Vera’s torment made my knees collapse. I just lay in a pile of filth watching. Then, amid the horrid screams and wicked grunts another tortured cry emerged.

Amora erupted into a noxious hysteria. She struck Gurn on the back of the head with her chosen weapon and fell into a frenzy of movement. The force of the blow shattered the chopper like a glass bottle, sending shrapnel and blood across a three hundred foot radius. Gurn immediately collapsed and Amora fell upon him. As she continued to moan with awful dismay Vera lay on the ground as though she had spent all her energy. The only perceivable movement she made was the heavy heaving of her chest. Meanwhile, Gurn in his surprise and delirious state tried to batter off the other giantess. Even as he dealt reckless blows to her sides and face her fury could not be overcome. One hand clamped on his throat while the other picked up whatever it could to savagely beat him.

Then, something rocketed out of the darkness and struck her in the arm. Then another similar dart hit its mark somewhere between her ribs. The harpooners must have been making their assault. It didn’t matter though, she ignored every arrow that struck her. The minutes went by, and finally, long after Gurn’s futile attempts to fight back had ceased, Amora slumped down off of him. She curled her legs up to her chest and folded both wounded, blood drenched arms over her knees. Then, she wept. She cried a sorrowful cry that could only come from a broken heart.

I collected myself and tried to repress all that I had witnessed. Yet, my brain could not function as I wanted it to. It was as though all my actions were now governed completely by my unconscious. As I sluggishly descended the mass of rubble I heard another voice. At first I didn’t notice it over Amora’s wailing. Then, it hit me like a train.

“Ellis?” Vera whispered through the haze. I turned in her direction and saw that she now sat up slightly. Her hand was stretched out toward me in an unclear gesture. I could see, even in the twilight, the fresh bruises on her wrists and neck. Both pieces of clothing looked as though there had been an attempt to rip them off. A slight crimson line snaked down out of the corner of her mouth.

Then I ran to her. I vaulted over bodies and refuse. I ducked beneath the arm of what had once been the makeshift hospital until I was just barely out of her reach.

“Ellis…” she whispered again. “Go”

There were plenty of things I could have said then. Anything would have been better than how I did end up responding.

“Go? Go where?”

“Ellis go.” she said as her voice began to well up with trauma.

But the sobbing had stopped and only grim quiet remained. Not even the rattle of weapons and cries for mercy in the distance seemed to interrupt it. I think we both sensed the next act of violence, for both our heads turned at the same time to see Amora slowly pulling herself back to her feet. Her grief temporarily replaced with cold hatred. With one hand she plucked the harpoons from her body. Holding them in a bundle in her hand she turned her attention to Vera. Then, the two fell upon one another. Vera seemed to leap off the ground in anticipation of Amora’s attack.

I cannot relate what all went down because I chose not to look at it. It was as you might imagine though. Both became consumed by the fires of aggression. All their trauma was molded into hostility for one another. The earth shook according to its design and I hid as I was ought to do. Not because I was scared for myself, but because I could not bear to see either slaughter the other. In the end though I didn’t have much of a choice. They, whilst still intertwined in one another, slammed into the near near me. The rain had subsided and now the only spray was their acidic spit, blood, sweat, and tears. Amora lay below, her face spotted with red dots while a portion of her golden hair stuck to her cheek with a blackened-scarlett glob. Vera hand lay clamped over her mouth, as if to suffocate her.

All became empty for me then. When I stopped paying attention to the wails of my fellow humans caught in their tumultuous struggle I knew that whatever evil purpose these beings had been made for had been fulfilled. I felt as they did. The nihilistic squalor of my mind was left open for whatever to come crashing down into it. I would let my synapses be drowned by their bitter fluids, I would purposely drink from that bloody well. I almost felt a slight twinge of satisfaction when I saw Vera lift Amora’s head up and slam it into the ground. The cracks in the earth did not interest me, just the repeated thud as her skull was pounded against the earth again, and again, and again, and again, and again. Finally, her sclera had gone completely bright red. I saw not glimmer of life in them anymore.

Then Vera, somewhere overhead, let out a cry. It was not for her victory but for her relief. Her tremendous, battered body crashed down in the space between Amora’s corpse and my hovel. Again I watched her chest rise and fall with heavy rhythm. She stared up at the sky, which now allowed a little pale moonlight to escape from it.

I crawled out from my space and took inventory of her predicament. Her hands were completely covered in sticky red fluid. Her drenched hair clung to her face and neck and her stomach was riddled with holes. Each thrust dealt my Amora had punctured her flesh, leaving a half dozen stab wounds.

“Ellis…” she whispered again. I snapped my attention back to her and met her bloodshot eyes once more. “Ellis” she repeated once more.

“Vera” I cried out, as I motioned as if to move. I didn’t make it far though, her trembling hand plopped down in front of me with her palm turned up.

“It's so cold here Ellis…”

“I know Vera, I...I know”

“So...cold. It's been so cold now for-”

“I know Vera, it's ok, you’ll be alright. Look at me Vera-”

But her eyes strayed to the bloody mess on her abdomen. The sight sickened her slightly, as her head then slumped back against the fractured soil.

“No, don’t look at that, look at me! Vera, look-”

“Ahh,” she muttered with a slight choke. “I never looked up at the stars here Ellis…”

“Vera, no I-”

“There look even brighter here than back home.”

“We’ll get you there Vera, just, stay with me now ok?”

She let a hitched sigh and turned her face back to me. Even with all the cuts and bruises she was still beautiful. Beautiful like the whole world. Beautiful like this whole tragedy. Beautiful like this whole comedy. It wasn’t fair to be beautiful like that. Even when you are scarred and terrible. But then again I guess beauty is always terrible.

I reached out and placed a hand on one of her finger tips. She looked back at me and gave me a weak smile.

“Vera come on, we can help you- you just have to-”

“Ellis…”

I paused.

“Just let me die”

“No, Vera, no you’re not going to die.”

“Ellis just stay where you are. Just stand just as you are.”

I froze and, all the while, felt my own tears returning.

“Ahh, I’ve never wanted anything more from you. Just standing there, next to me...standing there next to what I will have been.”

“Vera, don’t say things like that, there’s still time to help you.”

“No, there was…” she stopped and looked back up at the sky. “There was never any time to help me.”

While I regarded her with tremorous expression she finally returned my tortured look.

“Do you think there will be more?”

“More what?”

“Just...more?”

“Yes Vera, I think there’s always more.”

She nodded slightly.

“That’s good, maybe I’ll find something for me there.”

“Vera I’m...I’m sorry”

“No” she quickly interrupted. “No, you’ve been good. You’ve been everything, and I couldn’t ask any more from you.” Again she paused, closed her eyes, and with one final sigh said: “Ahh, there it is again.”

And that was that. The aging brush of time stroked the back of my neck and made me feel faint. Blood clung to me like a fearful child and I was alright with the world. The crucibles in the stars waged their war with the entropy of the universe and i finally felt it in every atom of my being. Then I sat down on the ground and stayed a little while longer with her, in case I was mistaken again.

 

“So what happened after that? You know…in the end?”

The figure who sat across from the spritely young recruit anxiously rubbed some of the stubble on his jaw. His weary eyes wandered across the dusty earth, resting temporarily on his own boots before cautiously passing over those of his enraptured audience. In all there were five of them. All but their storyteller clutched weapons out of a youthful need for security. Their eyes glowed dim with curious but lacking anticipation.

“In the end?” the man grumbled. “In the end life went on.” The others wished to look into his eyes and see what he saw for just a moment. Even after everything he had told them they did not understand the gravity of his words. They didn’t feel the subtle stuttering, they didn’t experience the guilty nostalgia.

“So, what happened to the others? I mean, Zinc, Treble, Cyan? Did you ever see any of them again?”

The man bit his lip and lifted his face to the others. “No, not all of them. Cyan made it out, I saw her once more but then she was gone. Went somewhere South, I don’t know.” he paused briefly to rub his knees, as though each sentence wore them a little weaker. “The last male ended up getting so scared he ran off. We wounded him pretty well too. Days later the scouts said that they found his corpse. He bled out”

The others sat in a changing atmosphere of bewilderment. Some showed excitement, others confusion, only the one closest to him expressed doubt.

“You mean to say you killed four giants that day?”

“No, we killed one. The rest, well they killed each other. In the end Censor’s plan worked. That’s what was so odd to us. Plans actually working.”

The others didn’t seem to catch his meaning but instead shifted uncomfortable next to each other on the log, feigning comprehension. After a few ambivalent glances at one another, the smallest among them finally formulated his next question:

“So, if this all really happened, what became of the program? Why weren’t more chambers built? If it was...successful?”

“Yeah, and how did you even end up here anyway? I mean, the Blue Shirt jurisdiction is a long ways southeast.”

Then he smiled. It was the first real smile he had given during his tale. All others seemed constructed for dramatic purpose, all were dead. Now though, he seemed genuinely amused.

“Too much money, too much damage, and in the end what’s four giants? Sure it's impressive but it was only a Pyrrhic victory. Besides, I left and no one else would ever think about doing what I did. I like to think that’s how I expressed my courage. What little of it I had at least. As for how I got here. Well, I just needed to get as far away as I could. Besides, I thought coming home would be worth it. There’s too much left here to deal with and I’ve been putting it off for too long.”

The others nodded. Together the five had all experienced loss. There weren’t many people at that time who hadn’t. It was a shared pain that manifested differently in each individual. The mystery of their predicament left all in a shallow darkness. How many still faces had they each seen? How many brothers and sisters lost? It didn’t matter, numbers became unimportant. All that mattered was that there had been loss. The night sat heavily upon them but offered them some comfort in its obscurity.

“I’ve just been wandering around these last four years. Trying to do what I can. Trying to forget it all.”

“So you do want to forget it?”

“No. I don’t want to but I feel like I should. It would make life easier”

“Life’s not getting any easier for anyone.”

“True, but even then just knowing what might have been makes me even sicker.”

All fell silent. Their eyes sat on the thin figure who had once gone by so many names. What’s ironic was he only ever wanted one, and now even it was tainted. No amount of prose or poetry could compensate for the physical weight of it all.

“Do you miss her?” another asked. It was a question they had all been thinking about, but until that point no one felt it would be appropriate to ask. The poor man dropped his head again and mumbled softly to himself. Finally, after a few second he raised his gaze and seemingly stared at them with a collective, pining stare.

“At first I did, then I didn’t.  I knew how dangerous she was. I knew what she had done. In fact I was glad she was gone until I started telling you this whole story. Now I just sit here and wonder how my life might have been different if her’s had been. What if she wasn’t so poorly treated? What if she overcame her anger? What if I really came to understand her and she came to understand me? That’s what she is now, questions. Hell, I think that’s all she ever was.”

“So…?”

“Yeah, yeah I do miss her. She was terrible and she was wonderful all at the same time. I don’t think if you met her you’d really understand though. It was like she just needed to be something for herself and for one other person, and that person ended up being me.”

They all shuffled uncomfortably for another moment. It was as though they had stumbled into a very personal memory and were somehow ruining. Finally, one of them stood, shouldered his rifle and said:

“Well, thank you anyway. It was a...an interesting story, but I’m afraid we have to go switch out guards.” He turned to the others who still sat wallowing in their anxiety. “Come on boys we got patrol.”

Reluctantly each stood in turn and filed out into the night. The brief hum of the lantern shuddered before Ellis reached out and flipped it off. Through the dark he waded back to his tent. The only sound over the evening crickets was the distant trickle of a creek. The soft earth recessed beneath each footfall, invoking images of the giants passing over the earth. When he finally closed the canvas flap on his tent and fell back onto his cot his mind swam with thoughts of terror and delight. All existence separated itself from him, just so that he could rest with a peace. Calm finally overcame him, letting his mind be swept back by the waves of consciousness. All peace and war ceased and in its absence was a reassuring nothingness. Then, just as the dusk  hitched itself along the boughs of the trees. God’s and men would not emerge to kill one another for a brief eternity. In their struggle’s absence, everyone one would rest. Of all them, Ellis fell into it with the greatest ease. Finally getting the much needed sleep he had been missing all those years.

With that, all life let out a long breath, one it had been holding beneath its own awareness. Gravity kept the world spinning around the sun and for a second its purpose seemed unknowable.

 

 

            I think I’ve seen it in a dream. An endless plane of smooth, perfect snow stretching out in every direction till it meets the far horizon. The haze in the distance blends the porcelain surface with the dark violet haze of the night sky. There is nothing between me the vastness of an untouched world. It is bare, cold, peaceful. I’ve seen it a dozen times at least these last few weeks. Perhaps I’m just assimilating the real world into what little pool of hope I have left. There are days when my whole world is the inside of a tent; dim, unchanging, a tiny oasis of canvas and crumpled paper. Bleak ruin seems to stain its walls like the inky blood of some unholy thing beneath the floorboards. Then, on the days I choose to come out, I lift the flap of my shrinking home and step out into the real world.

            Its winter. The same winter it had been yesterday. The same winter it had been two weeks ago. The same winter it will be tomorrow. It’s always so cold here in the North. The pine trees of the surrounding woodland loom like petrified sentinels, lacking in capability or perhaps motivation to stave off the mounds of windswept snow. Where there is usually a hollow whistle of coursing gusts, there is now the distant rumble of portable generators. Power has become increasingly scarce, particularly in this region. Heat and light are particularly rare in these wilderness outposts. In the past, I’d heard good things about the Tattered Legion, but having finally arrived at Camp Whiskey nearly a month ago I’d found their facilities and their methods severely lacking, even in these harsh times. The Blue Shirts were corrupt yes, but at least they had stable facilities. Likewise, did they butcher innocent migrants due to some kind of twisted Social Darwinist ideology.

            As I wander toward the communications depot the last of the fleeting sunlight is swallowed by spreading clouds. Militiamen shuffle single file through the gravel infused slush on an adjoining pathway. Darkness falls for a moment, before a string of warm white lights spark to life amongst the support beams of a rickety sentry tower. I haven’t seen lights like these in a long time. They remind me that normally Christmas would be coming soon. I haven’t celebrated a Holiday in over three years. Few have been given the luxury. Apparently up here amongst the Legion, a surprisingly devout group, annual celebrations are still held to maintain morale. I can’t say I blame them, it really comes down to the little things. 

            “Ellis?” a voice calls out from behind me. My neck aches as I twist around to glimpse my addresser. Before I can I am met by a sturdy slap to the back. I let out a surprised fit of coughing which dies down as the stranger begins again. “There you are. Haven’t seen you for some time. Legion been pushing more work onto you?” I catch the man’s face. He is tall, thick, with a square head that is only further accentuated by his shaven head.

            “No Brass just…haven’t had the desire to be wandering around. You know how it is…hard enough for me to be working when they don’t really give me anything to work with.”

            Brass is a nice enough guy, but when it comes down to it he’s just another self-righteous pawn like the others. That may be a bit cynical, but ever since Juliet I’ve been…well, let’s just say not my usual self.

            “What do you mean no work?” he asks with some bewilderment. “We got that female pushing on our territory, disrupting our operation a month back. Isn’t that worth your time?”

            I shake my head and continue walking. Sure enough he follows at my side.

            “Not exactly, I got here after her…intervention. So I didn’t really get to see her myself. No one will tell me about the incident either…” At first Brass doesn’t respond, leaving only the crunch of our boots in the compacted snow. After another twenty feet of travel, he finally pipes up once more:

            “Well, its hard to remember everything ya know? All happened real fast, real chaotic like. I’ve told you everything I know at least”

            “I know Brass, I know” I say with some hint of defeat. My head hangs so that my chin rests against my chest as I watch the chunks of ice skid across the frozen earth below me.

            “What’s really wrong man?”

            “I don’t know. Nothing I suppose. Bored.”

            Brass doesn’t seem to take too kindly to my statement. Rather he fumes quietly to himself. I’ve observed this in many other soldiers here. They seem consumed by a certain sense of jealousy when faced with others that do not encounter the similar dangers. They feel like their service is unappreciated. Ah, damn, there I go again diagnosing all willy-nilly. Fuck it though, I’m not getting anything else done.

            “Well if you’re so bored you could always go out looking for the huge bitch yourself.”

            My jaw clenches as I listen. His voice is laden with a sort of mocking incredulity. I stuff my hands in my pockets and try to act like his statement doesn’t bother me.

            “Hell, ol’ Enoch went out about the time you showed up and hasn’t been back since. Never really understood what he was looking for. Poor bastards probably dead.”

            There was really no doubt about it. I’d heard about this ‘Enoch’. Some crazy son of a bitch who thought he was chosen by God. Wanted to test out his ‘divine providence’ by seeking out the female in the area. I’d bet he lasted about thirty seconds before she had him crying and begging like a desperate child. Typical. Sounds to me like the kid suffered from some serious delusions of grandeur. Then again, as the giants continue to spread out over the entire world I’ve noticed several power complexes manifesting in both human and titan alike.

            “Besides…” Brass goes on. “After that whole story you told us, about ol’ what’s her name. Vera? Yeah, you got fairly close with a bunch of them. I’m sure you could talk her into leaving us-“

            “This is my stop” I say abruptly, stopping with a slight skid before Brass can continue. When I am at last still I twist my head to the left till I see the ‘COMMS’ sign hanging limply over the doorway of the half-buried shack. In the corner of my eye I can see Brass giving me an uncertain look.

            “Right sorry, I know you don’t like talkin’ about it much. After that crazy shit you’d been through …”

            “Its fine” I respond quickly, my voice quivering with contrition. I feel the push and tug of memory, implementing its cruel tricks on the wrinkles of my cortex.

            “Why ya here at comms anyway?”

            Should I tell him? How much would he believe? I’m not even sure that I want him to know, it’s silly and almost traitorous. I can feel his unscrupulous eyes probing me, peeling away my skin, my thoughts, my most base aspirations. Tentatively, I give him a sideways glance to telegraph my discomfort but he doesn’t seem to care or notice.

            “I got a message about another subject…one roaming to the south. Seems to have taken a liking to some of the wandering caravans.”

            Brass stares back with crudely constructed curiosity. I can’t gauge his attitude precisely, but then again I’ve been having problems gauging anything lately. His jaw goes slack and shifts from side to side as he contemplates a proper response.

            “Right” is all he says before turning on his heels back toward the tarp covered HQ in the distance. “I guess I’ll catch ya later. Good luck with…whatever it is you got going.”

            I stare at his shrinking silhouette. He seems to shimmer against the otherworldly white glow given off by the twinkling strands of lights hanging around us. How tacky. Nevertheless, I try to not dwell on other’s opinions any longer. With a slow, sideway shuffle I push the swinging door aside and enter the communications shack. It is a single room, cluttered with moldy card tables topped with radios, scattered circuit boards, and antiquated cellular phones. The air is unusually thick, carrying the nagging scent of solder and ozone. Two men wait inside, leaning on a long table with their heads tilted away. The sound of my crunching footsteps seizes one’s attention.

            “Luce, wake up!” he grunts to his companion.

            “Wuh?”

            “We got a visitor, come on, up!”

            The first man stands, dusting off his dark green coat. He seems tired like the rest, with a unshakeable sense of disappointment plastered onto his face. As I saunter closer he appears to avoid eye contact by fiddling with a HAM radio.

            “Who are you?” the figure named Luce eventually groans.

            “Errr…I’m Ellis, I was told you had a-“

            “Ohhh, right right right...” Luce droned. In a sudden flash of energy, he spun around in his chair till he faced an adjoining desk. Whilst rifling through a stack of crumbled notes and papers he rambles on to himself, making some crude comments about ‘shorter days’. Meanwhile the other officer waits silently in the corner, his arms crossed in a gesture of quiet apathy.

            “Ah, here it is! For Mr. Ellis…something about…oh damn…” but before Luce can continue on I snatch the note away. He gives me an abrasive sigh before turning back to the desk. I can hardly believe it. One of the truck runners told me about it first, but I was in disbelief. Only now, as I hold the letter in my hand, as I scan its lines with unending fervor I know it to be true.

 

            For the one called “Jung” or “Ellis”, believed to be hiding out near Camp Whiskey.

 

I am just a wanderer. I have no home. No camps will take me. A couple years ago I was branded by the Deluge for deserting their cause. For that I travel with another group of outcasts, aimlessly travelling from one shore to the other. A week ago, we were discovered. A giant, a female, she found our meager caravan. She was hurt and she was desperate. I thought we were goners but instead of smashing us into the dirt she spoke to us. Said her name was Eliris, or something like that. Said she wanted our help. She was looking for you, I don’t know why, we never asked. Of course we didn’t know what to make of this, and that was pretty clear to her. So she followed us, she kept other roving giants from preying upon us. After a few days I relented. I said I’d do what I could to reach you, and I have. I suppose you may know what’s going on, whoever you are. All I can say is that she is eager to find you. She plans to go North and asks that you seek her out when she arrives. This is all beyond me, but if you want my advice…run! This Eliris has been good enough to us, but if I’ve learned anything, it’s that it is probably safer to keep as far away from these things as possible. Well best of luck to you Jung or Ellis or whatever your name is. Sounds like you’ll need it.

                                                                                                                        -A Stranger

           

 

 

 

Meanwhile…

 

            The earth bleeds. The vital humors of its rocky flesh spew forth in a raging shower of untampered heat. Even the lands surroundings these narrow wounds radiate with scalding energy. Normally the humans avoid this area, as its temper is typically unforgiving. The lands around these natural geysers have always been beautiful, but that has rarely led to ideas of habitation. Yet, despite the howling winds and the raging eruptions of flesh-melting water there waits a small hovel hidden away amongst a row of pine trees. Two vehicles, both withered well past their practical use, lie beneath the leaning trunk of a particularly ancient cedar. They are covered by fallen branches in a crude attempt at camouflage. Behind it, the tiny camp bustles with activity, exuding a mixture of white smoke and calm, careful chatter. In all, it would have been a sufficient little hiding spot, had it not been for the towering titaness sitting next to the sheltered glade.

            She sat with her knees pressed against her chest and both arms wrapped around her shins. Her auburn hair was surprisingly smooth, and its splayed out along the course of her huddled shoulders. She sat looming like one of the mountains, still and unshakeable. The giantess stared off into the distance, her grey eyes wide and intense. Every once and a while one of the nearby humans would steal an uncertain glance up at their colossal companion. Everything that had happened over the last five years taught them to avoid giants at all costs. They had survived thus far on grit and instinct. It was strange now to consider this enormous woman a temporary ally. They had known her for only a week’s time, and already they seemed able to move about comfortably in her presence. Well…almost comfortably.

            Just four days prior they had crossed the path of a pair of males make their way South for the winter. They tried to coerce her into handing them all over. The two would have gone through the meager group in a matter of seconds. Strangely enough she stood defiant, eventually drawing forth a crude knife to fend off the two greedy gluttons. As far as they knew, she only wanted one thing. They met her request yet still she lingered. Still she guided their path. It was becoming…unnerving. Where once she seemed to trail after them out of some innocent sense of misdirection, now she “suggested” their every action with growing dominance. No one wanted to say anything of course. How could they after all? There was only one among them that felt capable.

            “Eleer-us?”

            The giantess paused in her quiet mutterings and peered down to a nearby hilltop. There, amidst a patch of tall yellow grass was a tiny figure, dressed in faded flannel and torn denim. Over his shoulder was a cracked hunting rifle.

            “Yes…” Eliris replied, her eyes wandering as if she were drowning in a dream.

            “El, down here!” the man cried out again. His voice had begun to lose its intensity over the last few days. He knew that pneumonia or some other lung disease must have been setting in.

            “I told you not to call me that Fox”

            “Sorry…” the man sheepishly responded. His face was wrought with numerous creases. The last year had aged him nearly a decade. Already his reddish mop of hair was giving way to the flecks of gray. Even his scraggly beard betrayed the silver touch of old age.

            “What is it?”

            “Huh?” Fox grunted in return. Finally, Eliris’ eyes shot to him and he felt a nagging knot form in his stomach.

            “What did you want to tell me?” she asked in a monotonous tone.

            “Well actually I just had something to ask…”

            “What did you want to ask me then?”

            Fox fell silent. A sudden urge to flee sank into his core, but his joints remained locked in place. He waited a minute too long and Eliris grew impatient. To her, his silence was a sign of dissension and mistrust. As if by reflex she lashed out. Her had crashed into the hillside behind him, forming an impassable wall of skin. With a slight twist she scooped him up into her huge palm, which she cautiously brought up to her face. Once Fox tumbled into place he managed to roll onto his back. Gasping for breath and courage he shot up with both hands held in front of him.

            “Geez, god damn don’t…please don’t do that” he whimpered.

            “I don’t always know my own power…” Eliris coldly stated. Her eyes narrowed and her breaths became short. “What is it? I’ll not repeat myself again…”

            Fox had not seen this side of Eliris yet. Though he suspected it lurked somewhere deep inside, he always assumed it had been substantially buried beneath a thick layer of desperate apathy. Now, as she stared at him with those near lifeless eyes he realized that there was no going back.

            “Its just…I did what you asked. I sent your message to that Ellis guy or whatever he was called. I gave you a bearing toward Camp Whiskey. I just thought…I assumed you’d be gone by now…not that we’re…you know…not appreciative and all.” Eliris didn’t blink once. “You know for the…protection and such. I just…err.”

            “Stop” Eliris finally said. Fox immediately fell silent. Under his breath he tried to stifle his nervous laughter. There was so little emotion in her face.

            “Do you know why I wanted your help?” she eventually asked.

            “To…to find this Ellis?”

            “And do you know why I must find him?”

            Fox swallowed hard in a feeble attempt to remove the lump in his throat. It was no use. Everything he’d done, the hard winter’s he’d endured, the pain, the turmoil, the nightmares; it was all waisted the second he thought he could get along with one of these monstrous beings.

            “No”

            At last she smirked. It was warm, almost friendly. Yet what she said next seemed contradict it.

            “He killed someone I respected.”

            “Oh?” Fox squeaked back. “How’d he manage that?” Eliris smirk gave way to a full blown smile.

            “That’s not important. All you need to know is you…and the rest of your little group here, you all owe me. Now I could bully you into submission like the rest but no…no I want you to have a chance to feel something. Call it loyalty, not just fear. Well, maybe both.”

            “I-I don’t follow” Fox’s words trailed off into the steam addled air. With one final smirk Eliris cast her gaze down onto the rabble below. They were few, only about twenty or so remained after months on the road. They had tried to ignore the conversation but her eerie words had set them all on edge.

            “You will soon enough…But first, we must make some new friends…”