- "Jamie was also excited to hear about you coming home."
- "Jamie?"
- "You haven't forgotten about her I hope? Daniels little sister..."
- "No, no of course I haven't forgotten her... I just didn't get why you told her."
- "She asked if you were coming for my 60th birthday, and I told her. I didn't know it was a secret."
- "No mom, it's not a secret... It just slipped my mind that she helps you out on the farm... Of course you talk. I just thought for a moment that you told everyone you met that I'm coming home."
- "Well can't I? I'm glad that you do, and I like to share when I'm glad. After all, it's been eight years since you were here."
- "Of course you can tell who ever you want. I just thought people didn't care."
- "You've been away for too long dear... This is not the city where no one cares. It's a small town where everybody knows everyone. And you are practically a celebrity here. The one that got away." Mom snickered as she said the last part. That nervous laugh she'd get whenever she talked about me leaving. An inner conflict she had, pride over me stepping out and taking my place in the world, and sadness that I found the rest of the world more exciting than her little corner.
- "Speaking of getting away... I have to go mom. We're taking off soon so I need to do some pre flight procedures."
- "You do that and I'll see you next week. Love you, bye."

Mom did not know that I was already headed home. I was going to surprise her. My boss was very understanding and gave me an extra week off. "Family deserves quality time." he said when I mentioned that I was going to visit my mom for her 60th birthday. He was headed for a conference and I was supposed to fly him there, and that would be my last shift for two weeks. After that I had an 18 hour drive home. I really grew up in nowhere. 18 hours to the closest commercial airport. What a joke. There were smaller airports out there so technically I could land 20 minutes from home, but I had no plane of my own to fly there, and the bosses private jet was out of the question. I had seen the bills he pays for fuel to that thing, not to mention all the maintainance. But I could not complain. He had given me an extra week so I could take the travel times.

A nice thing about having a big shot boss is that I don't have to take care of the plane all of the time. After landing the local staff takes over and I only need to grab my bag and head for a place that would rent me a car. Lucky for me they also had bikes. I'm not that picky I tell them, so I get a Harley knock off. "Great milage and a comfortable ride." they told me as they handed me the keys. They didn't lie. It was a very smooth ride, but the sound wasn't really all that impressive. It was however getting dark fast by now, so shelter seemed like a good idea. I pulled up to an old barn and made myself comfortable in the hay. Most people round here don't really mind as long as you leave things the way you found them. When I left the next morning I saw a donation box on the way out. Seemed like a bit too much, to ask for a donation for providing hay. I changed my mind however when I found a breakfast tray by the bike with a sandwich, a thermos of coffee and a couple of boiled eggs. I ate my breakfast and put a generous donation in the box before I left.

This might be nowhere, but it's damned pretty. That is why I chose a bike instead of a car. You get more precense like this, a sense of adventure. The wind rushing around you and the motor humming, really leaning into the curves and work the road. A car would take most of the awareness away. You'd probably blast the stereo and just drive. Autopilot. I get enough of that at work. I used to ride horses as a kid. How could I not when mom raises them? Mom and dad always rode, and when I was old enough to walk, they thought I was old enough to ride, which I did. Until I was 16 and one of mothers horses threw me off. I was a long way from home. I was checking out some trails when something startled that moronic stallion. I don't know what happened exactly, but I sprained my back which paralyzed me from the waist down and I could not move. I was riding alone on unkown trails, before cellphones were common. It took someone two days to find me. Jamie was that someone. I could never forget Jamie. She was the only one looking for me. I guess that was my own fault. I used to just take a horse and ride away for a couple of days, and my parents trusted me since I was an experienced rider. As they say, hindsight is 20 20, and I should probably have taken someone with me, but being 16 and thinking you know everything you don't really consider everything that could actually scare a horse. Jamie however knew that I would not be coming back unless she looked for me. Eight years old and the most stubborn girl in town. She went on a quest to find me even though everyone told her I was fine, and when she did find me she carried me back to town. How a small girl like that could carry a young woman twice her age has always illuded me. I remember wrapping my arms around her neck and riding her back, but I was pretty out of it not having eaten properly for that long. I was probably dehydrated as well. That is the last memory I have of riding something living. I never got back on a horse again, even though my injuries turned out to be insignificant. My spine had not been damaged and I regained full mobility after a week when the swelling went down. I just didn't trust horses anymore. That's when dad got me a bike, and I felt right at home. The machine was an extention of me without the will of a horse, but the ride was similar of sorts. It just felt right, especially after the stallion was found dead with no apparent reason for it. A vet concluded that he had run himself to death right after throwing me off. Stupid animal.

Just about as I was pulling up on moms driveway it started to rain. I decided to put the bike in the garage. The last time I was here it was cramped. Two cars and a tractor. But now there was only one car left. A pick up truck that my father used to drive around all the time. We always refered to them as moms car or dads car. Both mother and I was surpised when mom sold her car to keep the pick up. "It is more practical." Perhaps it was her way to keep dad around a bit longer. Out of habit I put the bike up against the wall in front of the pick up, even though I could have parked it right in the middle of the floor. There was plenty of space. Then I went in the main house through a side door. I found mom dosing off in a chair in the living room. From the looks of it she had just cleaned up after dinner and was just resting. I didn't want to wake her so I snuck out. I noticed through a window that the stable doors were open, so I headed there to close them up. Mom didn't like them being open when nobody was there. Perhaps she was getting forgetful as she was getting older?

There was music coming from the stables. I didn't hear it at first because of the rain, but as I was standing in the doorway it was kind of loud. All of the stalls were open and I heard singing from one of them. I guess Jamie was cleaning  them while the horses were out in the pasture. I looked into the stall where all the noise was coming from. Last time I saw her was over ten years ago, when I packed my bags and left. I was seventeen and she was nine. She turned twenty two months ago. Mom told me that Jamie would have invited me to her party, but she didn't dare to. Mom would have invited me for her, had she known in advance that Jamie wanted me there. I couldn't figure out though why she woould want me there. We were practically strangers these days. Looking at her I realized just how long I had been gone. Whenever mom mentioned Jamie I would get a picture in my head. A little girl with blonde fuzzy hair, short dungarees with scratches all over her legs and hand me down boots. She was the youngest of five, with four older brothers, and she always wore their old clothes. She still looked kind of the same, but completely different. I think my head short circuited there for a while, because I gazed upon her for more than a minute. My plan was to announce myself and say hi, but nothing came out of my mouth. She had obviously learned to care for herself. Just as blonde, but no mess. Just straight hair put up in a ponytail right on the back of her head. She was wearing regular dungarees, but these were not hand me downs... They were definitley sewn to fit a female body, because they fit her perfectly, or perhaps they were a size too small. The fabric was bulging and I could see her body working under there. Every muscle was tense under there, and if the room had been more quiet I would have heard the seems creaking, I was sure about it. Her upper body was glistening with sweat, and the shoulderstraps were digging into her skin. From what I could see her upper body was just as toned as her legs. She was as hard worker, and I remembered myself doing these exact same chores when I was still living here, and I knew it was tough. I caught a glimpse through the side of the dungarees and saw that she had no clothes on her upper body, which made sense. The air was warm and humid, and she didn't have to worry about burning her skin in here. In fact she could have worked naked and I would understand her. Thinking a little bit too much about it I started to wish I would have walked in to find her nude. Suddenly I felt like I invaded her privacy. That glimpse of skin under her clothes was just an accident and they certainly didn't justify those thoughts. I felt myself blush and I wanted to leave but naturally this was the time she turned around and saw me. I clearly startled her as she did an awkward jerk and stood up straight and frozen.

- "Hello" I said after a bit of awkward silence. I managed to wave to her just as awkwardly.
- "Hi..." She eyed me up and down and looked a bit nervous. I was still in my bike gear so perhaps I looked really out of place in the stables, or perhaps it was the fact that we hadn't seen each other for a very very long time. I even started thinking that she might not recognize me. After all, she was very young when I left.
- "Glowie!" she dropped everything in her hands and threw herself at me, squeezing the air out of my lungs in the biggest hug I've ever gotten.
- "I can't believe you'd still call me that." I said, breaking free from the hug looking her in the eyes. "Are you crying?"
- "Shit... I'm sorry. I promised myself I would be cool when I met you." I almost told her to watch her language just then, but I remembered that she is grown up now, and suddenly I felt very old. "I'll say Chloe instead if you want." she said with a shaky voice as she was wiping her eyes.
- "Glowie is fine. Makes me feel right at home." She called me Glowie ever since her brother tried to write a song about me and he had troubles finding a rhyme for my name. "And don't sweat it, you look cool to me." This time it was my turn to embrace her. "It's been too long."
- "Yeah, well, you only ever come home for funerals and big birthdays it seems." That stung a bit. It shouldn't have, it was a long time ago, but it felt fresh here. One of the troubles with running away from home seems to be that everything still waits for you when you return. But I had to let it slide. I would not let her see that her little comment hurt me.
- "Well, must I do all the work? You could have come to see me."
- "I don't think so. You're all over the place. I never know where you are, plus I wouldn't want to ruin your reputation." She pulled out of the hug and started looking around. Her cheeks were getting a bit red and then she obviously found what she was looking for in another place.
- "How'd you figure that?" I said as she walked past me and into the next stall.
- "Well, you city folk would not want to be seen dragging your dorky little sister from the country now would you?" She picked up her shirt and started to put it on. I found it cute for some reason that she was shy. She was never shy as a kid. She turned her back to me and unhooked the suspenders on her dungarees, and then she started pulling the shirt over her head. She obviously miscalculated the situation because her pants slid down to her ankles as she was fidgeting with her shirt. I got to see her entire backside for a second there, but I decided to turn away and pretend I never saw a thing.
- "Oh come on. We are not that shallow, and there really is no such thing as city folk as a group. Plus people would assume that we were a couple before sisters. We look nothing alike." Oops... you had to be careful about comments like that out here. I tried to move along the conversation quickly. "Besides, country folk is all the rage now. People love to talk about farming and ecological sustainability right now." She came back to the stall, redder than ever and resumed cleaning it with her back turned. Her wardrobe malfunction seemed to be all sorted out. It was a bit strange however that it happened at all. Her pants were skin tight a moment ago and probably had to be peeled off. Looking now however it looked a bit loose. Ugh. I had to stop looking at her like that. It felt degrading.
- "As much as there are no city folk as a group, I have to say we are not as much a group of country folk out here either. I don't know much about farming. I'm a horse trainer."
- "I still bet people would want to talk to you."
- "Of course they would. Who wouldn't want to talk to the girlfriend of the hottest pilot in America?" Now it was my turn to blush again. Seems my little comment didn't go unnoticed.
- "Oh? I thought we were sisters?" She just smiled at me in response. At least she felt comfortable enough to face me again.
- "Want to drive me home when I'm done here?" she asked after a while of silence. "My ride broke down this morning and I didn't have time to fix it, so your mother picked me up."
- "Sure, but I only have a rental bike."
- "I figured as much... You would be dressed really weird otherwise." Amazing how all that time passed and we just found each other again. Conversation was easy with her and we laughed and had fun just like we used to. It felt a bit more equal now for some reason. There was a bit of an age gap still, but it felt less obvious now. Before I left I could get a sense that I was talking over her head sometimes, but now it wasn't like that at all. Not that we got into any deep conversations while she was working, but still.

The rain was still goin when she was done. It was coming down harder than ever and it was getting dark.
- "I got to be honest, I don't feel safe driving you on the bike in this weather."
- "I get that. I wouldn't drive on two wheels in this weather either."
- "I'll go check if mom left the keys in the car. Maybe we can borrow it for a while." I ran out in the rain and got soaked. Well, not entierly since the biker gear is kind of made to not let water in, but my head was not protected without the helmet, so my hair got soaked in just seconds. As I got under the roof the garage I saw Jamie slowly walking towards me under the protection of an umbrella.
- "You ran away before I got to tell you that this was standing right by the door."
- "My gear took the worst for me." I said running my fingers through the hair to get some water out.
- "I can see that..." she was eying me from tip to toe again. "Looks nice and snug."
- "You bet. I had it custom made. I figured that I want the best gear if I have to rely on rental bikes. And it keeps me in shape. Can't get it on otherwise." I got into the car. There was no keys in the ignition. And not under the mat, and not under the sun flaps. Jamie opened the glove compartment, but no luck there either. Ash tray was also empty, which looked a bit off to me. Dad always smoked in the car and the tray used to be full. But mom did not smoke so of course it was empty, even though it looked wrong to me.
- "I'll go ask Bridget if she has the keys. Stay put." Jamie said and disappeared. I felt kind of foolish for sitting in the car and waiting. It was my mother, I should have asked her. And hearing someone refering to my mother by name was also weird. A lot of weirdness tonight. The farm looked the same but at the same time not. All the dad stuff was gone. A lot of the farming equipment as well. Mother just tended to the horses. Someone else was working the fields now. Mother even thought about selling the land and keeping only the stables and the house, but something stopped her. Perhaps it was me. The thought of me coming back and working the lands again. And I even thought it sometimes, because I was a great farmer. I loved it when I was young. But when time came to get serious about life there was another option for me. Even though I was a great farmer, I was an even better pilot at 17. And flying would bring me change, something I desperatly needed after growing up in a town that never changed. Suddenly the car keys landed in my lap and snapped me back to the moment.
- "Neat."
- "Yeah. She was out cold, but I saw them hanging on the hook by the door so I grabbed them. She probably won't mind. Sometimes she lets me have the truck over night when my ride is not cooperating."
- "Let's go then." The car started like it was brand new. It sounded way better than I remembered. Someone was taking better care of it now than when dad owned it. By the smile of my passenger I kind of figured this was her doing. She had always been a tinkerer. "By the way, where do you live now?"

Mom hugged me for about an hour. Not literally, but I guess you figured that out already.
- "I thought Jamie had forgotten something and was coming back to get it, but I was so surprised when I saw it was you!"
- "I got that from you screaming and storming out of the house to meet me." Mom was hanging her wet clothes on the clothesline in the garage. My bike gear was already hanging to dry, even though it didn't retain any water. Mom still insisted on hanging it. "Why are you hanging the clothes out here?"
- "Well I redid the laundry room a while back. Moved it out here where there was so much room to free up a little space in the house. But that's not important. Have you been here long?"
- "A couple of hours. I didn't want to wake you up, and then I met Jamie in the stables. Then I drove her home. We borrowed dads car since it was raining too much to use the bike." I pointed to the bike that was leaned against the wall and mom smiled. It was her worried smile. She prefered horses when it came to riding, which I found funny. A bike had never been as close to killing me as a horse had been, and still mom insisted on bikes being unsafe.
- "They let you haul your bike around on that plane?"
- "Nah... it's a rental. The gear is mine though."
- "Really, you should have woken me up as soon as you got here."
- "I probably couldn't have. Jamie tried to wake you when we didn't find the keys to the car, but you were out cold."
- "Well I guess you're right. She is, pardon the language, freakisly strong. If she couldn't wake me, nobody could."
- "I don't think strength has anything to do with waking someone up."
- "Well, you'd be wrong because it does in her case. She don't know how strong she is sometimes, so she can be kind of... rough..."
- "Now that you mention it, she did give me a good squeeze when she hugged me. My ribs are still sore."
- "I bet. Be glad that you were wearing that leather thing... It probably protected you from the worst of it." Mom was right. Sure, the suit was made with higher impacts than hugs in mind, but still, the padding would have absorbed very much of the force, and my ribs felt bruised.
- "She probably gets it from growing up with five brothers. I remember Daniel being kind of rough with the brothers. Perhaps she didn't get pardoned."
- "That might be it... but she is the only one of them who is THAT rough... Are you tired? I haven't made your bed yet."
- "No worries. I can make my own bed. I'm actually pretty beat now that you mention it."
- "Well off to bed then. There is plenty of time for us to catch up tomorrow."
- "I'll just grab a sandwich and then go to sleep."
- "Tish tosh. At least let me make you a sandwich while you make the bed." Tish tosh was something new, at least for my mom. I didn't argue with her though. I just went to my old room and made my bed. I was probably more tired then I realized because I fell asleep as soon as the bed was made. Didn't even have time to remove my clothes.

I didn't think much of it falling asleep, but waking up it struck me: My room was pretty much the same as when I left it. A really strange trip back in time on posters  and photos on the walls and in the closet. Mom had left the sandwhich in the room and it became breakfast instead of dinner. A sturdy piece of food. You couldn't find sandwhiches like these in the cities even if you tried. Basically a home made loaf cut in half like a sub with so much stuffing it was purely amazing, and all fresh and locally grown. No meat though, and looking at the walls I suddenly remembered that I was vegetarian when I left. We probably hadn't talked about my eating habits since then. It didn't really matter at all, but it made me think about what else we probably haven't talked about. It started to feel like I was frozen in moms head, no character development at all, and suddenly the room felt less nostalgic and more cramped. I made my way downstairs and out the door. I realized I must have slept like a log, it was probably early noon already and mom was nowhere to be found. The car was still in the garage though so she probably wasn't far away. There was something else parked in the garage though. A classic old motorbike. From a distance I could tell it was a Honda, the same model as my first bike. I hadn't seen one of those in ages, and I went up to it to have a look. There was no way to tell it was an old bike. Shining like new and it was almost sparkling even though it was parked in the shadow. A couple of dings and dents, but otherwise exactly as well taken care of as dads old car. Upon closer inspection I thought that a particular dent looked familiar. Right above the back wheel, a tiny imperfection in the frame. That would be the first scratch ever made on this bike, and I remembered it like it happened yesterday. I was so afraid dad would yell at me for being careless with it, my first dent on my first motorbike. Now it belonged to someone else and I could guess who.

- "However did you get your hands on my old bike?" It took me a while to find Jamie. She was with my mom and a team of girls who was learning to ride in a completely new training facility. Perhaps it wasn't so new as I discovered looking around. Wear and tear on the thing made it look like the building was about a decade old, so it probably got built soon after dads funeral.
- "Well... it got passed around town a couple of times before it ended up with Eric."
- "That's your youngest brother?" Not being too invested in her family and staying away for so long made it kind of hard to remember all her brothers.
- "That's right. He got Daniels dreams at a certain point and he bought the bike as a project. He wanted to fix it up and leave town, just like Daniel did... and you... But he never got that far. I guess I just took it over and fixed it right up. I even tried to paint it as close to the original colors as I could remember."
- "You didn't look it up on the Internet?"
- "Nah... I wanted to restore it from memory."
- "Well you did an amazing job."
- "I know right? It looks almost new... How did you know it was yours and not one of the same model?"
- "Jamie, I need you to take a couple of girls." mom interrupted. It wasn't my meaning to disrupt a lesson, but my urge to ask Jamie about the bike was so strong that I actually forgot that they were working. Jamie left before I could answer. I watched from the sidelines for a while as she and mom split the group of girls in two and proceeded to teach them how to behave around horses. It was a giddy group and they were young and anxious, so it must have been a beginners class. There were a couple of boys in the group, but they were outnumbered by far and kept a bit to themselves. I almost felt a bit sorry for them, but then I thought that it might be good for them to see a situation that wasn't dominated by males. Jamie was really sweet with all of them though. It reminded me a bit of me in a way... the way she and I used to talk and act back then when we first found each other. Perhaps I hade made a bigger impact than I could ever have thought... or perhaps I was just over thinking it. Maybe she was good with kids and it had nothing to do with me.

I wandered around the for me new building. I found that not only was there the huge hall with sawdust floors made for riding practice, but there was more stables in the same building. By the looks of it these were not for moms horses. There were signs that mom let people rent space to keep their horses here, and business must have been good because there were horses everywhere, and strangers tending them. But to them I was the stranger, and suddenly I felt a bit uncomfortable lurking around so I made my way back to moms house in hopes of finding a bit of piece. I walked into my old room and remembered that this space felt a bit claustrophobic at the moment. Countless hours I've spent in there, wishing myself away, and I did that again. The nice thing about being an adult is that I could just leave. I went into the garage and put on the bike suit, took my rental and went for a drive. This was a better memory. Riding around, not really having any place to go, but even this memory was a bit skewed. It was mostly the same feeling of freedom, but something was also fundementally different. I used to long to get away from this place all together. Now I had returned and I was older and wiser. The longing to get away was weaker, because I had been away and seen what was there. Now I wanted to see what was here. All over town were evidence of the time passing. Not just my mom had expanded her business, the whole town had grown. It started to look like a proper city block around main street. A couple of clothing stores even, and some cafes and restaurants. It wasn't the  tiny one little diner with the one little grocery store next to it, and the hardware store down the corner that I remembered anymore. The industry outside town had obviously bloomed even though the economy was generally bad. The mills were twice as large as I remembered them, and even the power plant seemed to have some add ons. And a couple of new blocks of recidential buildings. I felt a bit lost and strange so I decided to go outside of town to one of the lakes. I was glad that the town seemed to be doing well, even though it was a bit scary at the same time, that a place that I remembered as frozen could change so much.

There are a couple of lakes close to town, but the lake I wanted to visit was a couple of minutes further out. Nudist lake... There was a proper name on that lake but only maps said it. Everyone else called it Nudist lake, just because it was far enough from town so that not many people came here except those who wanted some privacy. I had never seen any nude people here though, so it seems it's just a name. It might be something someone came up with to tease the younger population, since the lake is a good deal uphill from town. You'd have to have amazing stamina to pedal your way up here on a bike, and it seemed like a perfect prank to pull on someone who is to young to drive. As I pulled up on the beach I suddenly realized that I wasn't sure why I'd come here. The lake was the same as always, quiet and solemn. But it might have been what I needed. Just to sit down and take in the one thing that felt exactly the same as it always had, sort my head out a bit. Many thoughts went around and I started thinking that a swim would do me good. Exercise is a nice way to calm your thoughts.

I deposited my clothes by the bike and started making my way into the water. There was a nice breeze blowing some cold air in the late summer sun. These were probably the last warm days out here, at least that's how I always remembered my mothers birthday. It used to mark the end of the summer for me, and I guess it still did. It just wasn't so obvious with seasons when you spent most of the time jetting around the country, always encountering different weather no matter the season. Suddenly the hairs on my skin stood up. The breeze suddenly got a little bit colder but that was enough to put my body on alert. I started to rethink my decision to go for a swim, but what was the point on going back now? I was already naked and the lake was just a step away. A hint of madness went through my mind and I backed away, and then I got a running start. I probably would have chickened out if I dipped my toes first. "Rip it off, just like a band aid"

As soon as my feet hit the water I regretted it, but the momentum did it's thing and there was no stopping me. I flung myself in the water. My body went stiff at first but I forced a couple of strokes and then it got better really fast. The lake actually wasn't that cold, and it certainly did wonders for my mental state to focus on swimming. At first I put some force into the strokes, really warming up my muscles as I swam back and forth along the lakeside. I didn't want do go out over deep water, because I wasn't sure how much swimming I had in me. But after a while I kind of lost focus and started to just swim casually and playfully even. I started to hold my breath and see how far I could swim under water. The lake cooled me off so I didn't get the same feeling as I get at gyms when I work out. It felt like a playground more than a chore.

- "I take it the water is fine?" I let out a high pitched yelp and turned my head towards the beach where the voice came from, and I saw Jamie on the beach, laughing.
- "Go ahead and laugh, but if I was wearing pants I probably would have pissed them right then." I said.
- "I'm sorry... but that sound you made was priceless. You even scared away the ducks." She pointed as a family of ducks that were in fact in flight. She had trouble speaking because she was laughing so hard.
- "If you laugh any harder you might be in danger of wetting your pants."
- "I'm so sorry." she said again and sat down, ghasping for air. I resumed swimming as casually as I could while she snickered to herself on the beach. "Don't be like that now. Please?"
- "Like what?"
- "Ignoring me... I said I'm sorry. Look, I saw you dive as I pulled up, so of course you didn't hear me. You were under for a long time, and then you kept on diving so I watched for a while, hoping you'd notice me, but you didn't."
- "You've been there long enough to watch me?" She nodded and mumbled something. "What was that?"
- "I've been here for 20 minutes!" she said with a huge smile. I was however not smiling. I'm not sure why I was ticked off. She hadn't done anything wrong. I kept swimming in silence for a while. I tried not to look at her, but I saw she was up to something in the corner of my eye.

- "Look... If I can hold my breath longer than you, you will forgive me. If you win... I'm not sure... stay mad or name a punishment or something. But you're not going to win. Because I am a champion at this." She had put her clothes beside mine and was making her way out in the water. I'm not sure what happened because she seemed so shy yesterday when her pants slid down, but today she was braver. She was just as naked as me, but perhaps that was why she dared to be as well. We were at the same level today.
- "I'm not mad. I'm miffed..."
- "All the same to me. You will forgive me when I win. Deal?" It was really provoking to me that she was so sure she was going to win.
- "Alright. And if I win?"
- "You won't." She was swimming beside me now. "You dive and swim, any direction. You stop when you surface. Then I will swim the same direction under the same conditions."
- "You seem awfully clear about the rules."
- "My brothers used to challenge me all the time, but they never beat me. When I got old enough they used to tease me and say my boobs were filled with air so I could cheat." I just shot her a strange look and then I took a deep breath and dove. I swam for the middle of the lake, slow and steady strokes, trying not to waste oxygen on movement.

I overdid it just a bit. Right before I surfaced I lost control and my body tried to take a breath. I swallowed less than a mouthful of water, but I came up coughing ungraciously.
- "Are you okay?" Jessie shouted, and she was far away. I actually was a bit impressed with myself for how long I could hold out.
- "Yeah. Beat that with your boob breath!" I'm have no idea where that came from, but it seemed to psyche her out a bit. She looked angry as she slowly disappeared under water, and then the lake went quiet. There was some wind rustling the leaves and reeds, and I heard myself treading water, other than that there was nothing. I had no watch so I couldn't check how long she was under, but I was actually getting really worried. Suddenly she surfaced, on the other side of the lake. It was kind of a small lake, but still I was beat. We started a bit of shore, and I hadn't even made my way to half of the lake in a painful breath. And there she was on the other beach, waving like it was nothing.
- "Maybe you should try sucking my boobs if you want to beat me!" I just laughed at that strange comment.
- "You were gone for like, a year, and that is the come back you choose?" She was already swimming back to me.
- "Well, I was kind of preoccupied by whooping your butt. At first I wanted to show up just a bit further than you, but you pissed me off there. Only my brothers ever called me that so I decided to leave you in the dust, just like I did with them."
- "Well, that was amazing. I can't believe it. Did you cheat or something?"
- "With tits like these, who needs cheating?" she said coyly as she was beside me again. "I won, am I forgiven?"
- "Seriously. I can't call that a win unless I see it again." I knew she had won, but it was so weird. I couldn't wrap my head around how far she got.
- "Okay, I've been here before as well. This time, we both go under at the same time, but we don't swim. We just hold our breaths and stay close. Whoever goes up for air first is the loser. When I win this time I should get something from you. Are you ready?" I just nodded, then we each took a breath and went down.

Staying under water when holding your breath is really hard. Divers add some extra weight by carrying tubes and a suit, whilst we were just pillows of air. I felt that flippers might have been a good thing to have as well because I had no control over my floating. Jamie on the other hand was completely still, like frozen in a weightless state. Her blonde hair was still in a pony tail, but it was floating around her like seaweed. My hair stayed slicked back, but that was because I was moving around. With the amount of flailing I did I soon ran out of air and turned towards the surface. I was just about to swim upwards when Jamie grabbed my foot and gently pulled me down. Was she nuts? I was starting to feel the panic of my body wanting air, and here she was, preventing me from going up to breathe? She then pulled me close and held me rock solid. I couldn't budge, and in fact it looked like we were sinking. I could actually feel the lake growing colder and see the light from the surface weaken. I lost it. All I could think was that she was trying to drown me, and then I exhaled. It was then that she made her move. Quickly as I exhaled she placed her mouth over mine, and as soon as my body drew an automatic breath she closed the gaps between our mouths and she gave me part of her air. She gave me a stern look, as to see if I got what had happened, and if I was okay with it. I wasn't really and I exhaled again, but she repeated. I looked up and saw some sunrays fighting through the water. I could just barely see her in the massive darkness that surrounded us. This time I kept the air. I was better prepared, and now I was convinced she wasn't going to hurt me. I felt confused but I smiled, and she smiled back. She was still holding me tightly, and as soon as I exhaled she was there to give me more air. I couldn't tell how many times we repeated the process. It was so strange. The pressing darkness, and the weird sounds of the lake and our bodies scraping against each other. I felt my nipples get stiff, and blood started to rush around. Perhaps it was just a reaction to the cold lake. I felt her nipples stiffen as well, and our eyes locked. It was unreal, the way she hardly moved, and the fact that she never seemed to run out of air. She kept smiling, and I felt safe. Her face was basically all I could see, but it was a safe point in this pressing calm. I exahled, and once more her warm breath filled me up. I don't know what possessed me, but I exhaled just a bit of air, enough so that bubbles would form, and she drew close to give me more, but instead of taking her air I kissed her. It must have surprised her because she suddenly made a splurty sound and a cloud of bubbles came from her mouth. She let go of me and swam up, and for a while I just admiered all the bubbles as they broke the light in the lake. She was covered in thousands of small shadows as she swam. Looking at all the bubbles I had a weird thought. If I hadn't surprised her and made her breathe out all of her air at once, we probably could have been down here a couple of more minutes.

- "Unfair! You cheated!" she said and splashed water at me. Looks like it didn't offend her that I kissed her at least. To be honest I had already forgotten about the contest on my way to the surface. I had worried about her reaction though. That kiss hadn't landed very well since it made her lose her breath.
- "Talk about cheating... How about you failing to mention that you can breathe under water?" I replied and splashed back.
- "No I can't! You think I would have come up here for air if I could breathe down there?"
- "That's actually a fair point. So how did you do it then? You were like a mermaid down there. Hardly moving and yet controlling how deep we went without floating up. I mean, you held me down there and we hardly moved an inch. I started to float up as soon as you swam away." She looked a bit ashamed.
- "I wanted to tell you, but not like this... I was supposed to win!" Maybe I was a bit hard on her...
- "Hey... look... You won the first round, and I won the second. Let's call it a tie and forget the whole thing. You tell me whatever you want when you are ready."
- "Except that you cheated..." she muttered.
- "Well so did you..."

- "You're really not going to ask?" she said after a while.
- "Ask what?" I turned toward our bikes and headed for land. All this swimming was starting to get to me.
- "How I did it?" she made no effort to follow me.
- "I said that you could tell me when you are ready. Are you ready now?"
- "No..."
- "Then I won't ask. Not that at least..."
- "What do you want to ask then?"
- "What's your record? How long can you stay under water?"
- "I don't know. I tried to time it once, but I got bored so I stopped."
- "You got bored?"
- "Yeah... I was under water for 32 minutes then. 32 minutes is a lot of time to get bored when you are in a bath tub. I haven't tried since then."
- "You're kidding me? You didn't breathe for half an hour?"
- "Do you doubt me? After what we did just now?"
- "No..." How could I? She acted like my personal scuba gear, and she was in front of my face the whole time. She couldn't fake that. "You do realize that the world record is like... six or eight minutes?" I wanted to ask her why she wasn't dead if she could hold her breath that long, but I felt that might be close to asking her about what didn't want to tell me right now.
- "Amateurs!" she scoffed mockingly. "Are you heading off?" she asked as I reached the shore.
- "Nah... just need to rest. Been swimming non stop for some time now." I walked out of the lake and on to a patch of grass close to water. I found a sunny spot and parked my butt there. Jamie was still swimming.
- "Why did you come to the lake?" she said once she were close to me.
- "Needed to sort some things out in my head." She just looked at me like she was expecting more of an answer. "The town has changed so much since I left... I've been so busy with my life that I didn't really think that this place would evolve."
- "I'm glad we did... Evolve I mean... or else that kiss would have been really weird." I laughed out loud.
- "Eew! Thanks for that image..."
- "Seriously though, of course we changed... We are all people with our own thoughts and wills... The town has never been the same, it's always changing, but you were having so much going on inside of you when you left so you didn't notice. I'm glad you can see it now though. Must mean that you are more comfortable with yourself now..."
- "Yeah..." I took in her words and let them echo in my head for a while. My conviction of home as a constant was shattering, but it didn't really matter. I was mature enough to see now this was just like every other place in the world, and it was stupid of me to think that it was never going through changes of its own.

- "It was just so weird to wake up in my old room this morning. It got me angry for some reason... the way everything was frozen, like someone expected me to be like I was when I left..."
- "I think you were the one that expected that... Your mother knows you have changed, and she wanted to do something about your room, but she never did. She never felt like bringing it up with you either. Like it would keep you away even longer if she talked about your old room. Did you notice that she has basically renovated all of the house? Every room has had something touched up, except yours..."
- "She's talked about it on the phone, but I was so tired last night that I didn't see..."
- "You should go home and have a look... And talk to your mother. You'll see that there are no expectations. You have changed, she has changed, the town has changed... It will take a while, but you will come to the same page eventually."
- "You have changed as well..." She was still swimming close to me glancing at me from time to time.
- "I might have... but I just mostly feel like I grew older." I caught her eyes looking at me. She was checking me out, there was no mistaking it. I toyed with the thought of calling her out on it, but I let it slide... She had joked about the kiss, but I was still unsure how it had actually been recieved. I didn't want to force any advances on her. In fact, I was unsure I wanted to make them. She was so much younger than me, and we were firends... At least when I left town all those years ago...

- "I think I'm dry enough to go back now." I said and headed towards the bike.
- "Aww... I thought you were going to get back in and keep me company." She swam along the shore beside me.
- "Nah... As you said, I need to get back to reality. It would be unfair to hide out up here."
- "Unfair to who?"
- "Mom... myself... you... If I'm back in town I might as well embrace it." She rose from the water and walked up on the beach. The water trickled down on her skin and made it glisten in the rays of sunshine that penetrated the canopy above us. She really wasn't a small girl anymore, and my eyes lingered a bit too long on her wet hair that clinged to her body. She was naked in front of me and I could check her out anywhere just as she had done with me some minutes ago, but I couldn't let her hair go. She freed it from the tight grip of her skin with her hands, ruffled it and shook some water out. Then our eyes met for a second and I instantly looked away. My face started to feel warm and I couldn't stop smiling. I made the bold choice to put my helmet on first to hide. I thought I could see from the corner of my eyes that she was looking at me. I was looking at the pile of clothes and trying to figure out what to do. I couldn't pull the T-shirt over the helmet and it felt weird to put on pants but no sweater. I quickly solved it by shoving everything except shoes and the bike suit in a compartment on the bike. I was still smiling as I pulled the zipper up on my second skin, even though it wasn't exactly comfortable to wear on bare skin. But I knew she was looking and that made me smile. I started the bike.
- "Well, I'll see you back at the house."
- "Aren't you wating for me to get dressed?" She looked offended, and sure I really wanted to ride with her, but my instincts were on the fritz, telling me to get out before I made more of a fool of myself.
- "Sure, I'll wait." My voice was almost cracking up from all the effort I put into not fleeing. What the hell was making me so nervous? I shouldn't have asked myself that right there, because the kiss started to replay in my memory. I actually kissed her. Why would I do that? My thoughts overwhelmed me and I got dizzy. I'm not sure how it happened, but I toppled over and the bike with me. It landed on my leg and pinned me down for a moment, but I hardly had time to react about it before she picked up the bike and put it aside. She really was freakisly strong. I would have had trouble to lift it in her position, but she literally picked it up. I saw her grab the frame with one hand and lift it completely off the ground.
- "Are you okay?" She asked as she helped me up. I tried to put some weight on the leg but it buckled. She grabbed me again and held me straight.
- "Yeah... it's not broken, but it got a hell of a squeeze. Can't really get any strenght into it right now.

It was the strangest sensation. I was standing as tall as I could to come to terms with the damage done on my leg, but she was taller than me. She wasn't usually but now her nose was an inch over mine, and she wasn't even standing straight. Pain suddenly emerged and I let go of the strange thoughts. I pulled out of her grip and sat down hard.
- "Does it hurt?"
- "A bit, yeah." I couldn't scream. It's funny how when you get older you can bypass the need for screaming. I kind of wanted to scream though, but some other part of me made me not, just to seem a bit stronger in front of her.
- "I'm going to check if it's really not broken. Don't be alarmed, but I'm taking your suit off."
- "I kiss you once and you can't wait to rip my clothes off..." I joked as she pulled the zipper down.
- "That's not funny." she said, laughing.
- "Why are you smiling then?" Her hands were cold when she shoved them inside the overalls and started peeling me out of it. First my arms and then my legs. She was really gentle, but there was something really firm over her. She felt my leg up and down.
- "It's not broken."
- "That's what I said."
- "Well, I wanted to make sure that you just weren't being stubborn. You don't have to try and impress me you know?" There was something magic about her words. Like she turned a switch inside my head and I could finally scream.
- "Fuck me that hurts! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" The noise was trapped inside the helmet and my ears started ringing.
- "There, doesn't that feel better?" she said once I stopped. It did feel better, but I didn't tell her. Instead I just laid down and took the helmet off.
- "I just need to rest a while, then I'll be right as rain."
- "How do you know?"
- "I've done this before..."
- "You make a habit of falling on bikes when they are not moving?"
- "It only happend once before... That's how I knew it was my bike you're driving around. I fell and the bike hit a rock... The first dent I made on that bike, and it hit an impossible spot on the frame. A tiny speck that no one else can see, but it's my first dent so I'll never forget it... I was so lucky that I didn't get my leg pinned by the bike on the rock that time. Then I surely would have hurt more than my ego. Those things are heavier than they look."
- "You were lucky now that I was here... You would have had a hard time getting out from under the bike by yourself." I felt like telling her that I wouldn't have fallen if it wasn't for the thought of her making me dizzy, but I didn't.

- "I think my leg won't get any better than this soon..." I tried putting some weight on it, but it couldn't really carry me.
- "Are you okay to drive?" She had been sitting beside me and keeping watch over me.
- "I'd better be... how else would we get back home?"
- "I could drive, drop you off with your bike and come back and get mine later. This isn't the city. I could even leave the keys in the ignition and someone would probably drive it home for me rather than steal it." She made a fair point. There was more than enough room on the bike for both of us, but I decided to mess with her for some reason.
- "Nope, we're doomed... We better set up camp for the night and make a fire or something."
- "Okay." she shrugged and got up and disappeared into the forest. She was gone for a couple of minutes, and then she returned with firewood.
- "I was only joking you know." She made a face at me. I could tell she wasn't annoyed for real, but she did her best to try an look it.
- "I know... Sarcasm isn't lost on me. I just figured it would be funny to return and actually start a fire, but I realized that I have nothing to light it with... So here I am with a pile of sarcastic firewood." I smiled.
- "That would have been funny, but this is actually even funnier."
- "Where are the ironic matches when you need them?"
- "Yeah... It would have been nice with a fire though. It's getting cold."
- "You could try putting your clothes on."
- "I actually forgot that I wasn't wearing clothes. Which is weird because I was so self concious" I realized after I opened my mouth that it was a bad idea, but I couldn't stop myself "when you were getting dressed."
- "I kind of noticed that. I did not expect you to hurt yourself though."
- "It was that obvious?"
- "Well... It's the sum of things that tipped me off. You've been acting a little strange, and you did kiss me... At first I kind of guessed it was a ploy to get me to surface... But I'm starting to think that wasn't the case..." She at least smiled at me, but it felt kind of heart breaking. She wasn't angry, but was she not feeling the same thing I was feeling? All the confusion in me sure had me smiling all the time, but she looked me in the eyes and smiled... And I could not even meet her eyes properly when thinking about what was going on inside of me.

- "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked after we had looked at the pile of wood that wasn't burning.
- "About what?" She shrugged.
- "The kiss?"
- "Not sure there is a lot to talk about... It was weird, wasn't it? I made things weird..."
- "Not weirder than me providing air for the both of us to stay under water I bet..."
- "Perhaps not... but we're friends, aren't we?" I really had to fight the urge to ask more about how she did it, so I tried to stick to my subject instead of going with hers. "I mean... It was stupid to kiss you right?"
- "Don't say that... I didn't think it was stupid. I thought you were stupid for making me lose for a while... But not the kiss... If I hadn't been so busy with my thoughts I would probably have enjoyed it." Her face became red as she was talking, and she started staring at her feet. And there it was... those feelings. She didn't dare to look at me, and I didn't dare to look at her.
- "I just... I'm older than you... Before yesterday I still remembered you as a kid."
- "Don't worry about that... I can tell you that I'm not a kid any more... I get that we are still different, but that's not the issue... at least not for me. You jumpstarted something when you showed up yesterday, and I get the feeling something similar happened to you. It's just that I knew your secret when you left, but I still have mine... And it feels like your secret isn't a secret at all anymore, but mine is... I'm working on telling you but I'm not there yet."
She was talking about me being bisexual. She knew, because she helped me realize it all those years ago. I was never attracted to her back then, that is not how she helped me come to terms. She was a good listener, and observant. She probably figured it out before I did... but I had a feeling the talk we were having right now was not a regular coming out of the closet.
- "It's something about your strenght and your ability to hold your breath..." She looked at me. "It's not a question. I promised not to ask... I just wanted to let you know that I see things too... and I'm still thinking about kissing you."
- "Even though I'm a freak?"
- "I thought you were trying to drown me in the lake for a while there... But I turned around and felt very safe. Safe enough to kiss you..."
- "There is a lot of talk about you kissing me right now..."
- "Sorry, I'll stop... There's just a lot of feelings right now... and the pain doesn't help really."
- "Why don't you sit down and get dressed then? Quit trying to walk if it hurts."
- "I was actually on my way to the clothes."
- "Well... You sit down and I'll dress you then." She said and stomped over to my biker gear and swooped it up. Out fell a lighter. I had no memory of what it did in my suit, but there it was, and Jamie lost it. She fell over laughing as she was trying to pick it up. I had no idea what was so funny until she showed me the lighter.

- "I'm sorry I spaced out over there." she said when we finally arrived home. "Emotional overload or something"
- "I get it. We were both silent all the way here." Not that we would have heard that much between the drafts and the helmets, but we hadn't even tried to communicate. I got dressed as soon as we both stopped laughing at the lighter and got on the bike. She got on in front of me and we just drove straight home.
- "Do you ever think about that time when I carried you home?" she asked suddenly as I was dismounting.
- "Yeah... I would probably be dead if you hadn't found me, so I can't forget... Thank you... I probably said that before, but it's worth repeating, isn't it?"
- "You basically thanked me every time we met until you left, so you've got that covered. Do you remember when I found you?"
- "No. I was so out of it... Was I even concious?"
- "Barely." She got off the bike and rolled it into the garage. "You saw me and smiled, but you were all limp and weak. Then you fell asleep or something."
- "Yeah... no food or water for two days. And paralyzed from the waist down." She removed her helmet and tossed her hair around. It reminded me of her old self with her blonde her just a mess.
- "Actually, I found you by a spring so you've must have had access to water at least... Anyway... Don't you think it's strange that you were a two day hike away, and we got home on the same day I found you?" I had never thought about that.
- "I'm not sure I follow." was all I could say.
- "Well... see... I spent two days looking for you. I knew where you were riding, because you talked about what trails you were going to take so I looked there. And that's why I knew something was wrong. You told me that you would be back that day, but you weren't so I set out to meet you. And then I walked for two days, I found you and suddenly we were home. No one ever did the math. Everyone was just impressed that I managed to get you home, but no one ever questioned the time it took." I was stunned.
- "I have to admit... I never ever thought about it that way." There was a long silence.
- "I just remembered it, since I carried you on my back then, and just now, on the way here, you had your arms around me again. I was so lucky that no one ever questioned what happend. They just chalked it up to the fabled superhuman strenght you get in dangerous situations. No one ever noticed the super speed..."

- "Can we go there? Where I fell? I hardly remember where it was, but I have a feeling you do." I said when the silence between us was unbearable.
- "Right now? It's getting kind of late." It was getting darker, and soon the daylight would be gone.
- "No... I don't doubt you, and I hope you don't mind, but I would like to hike there. Because you presented an interesting puzzle, and I would really like to get a clear picture of all the pieces."
- "I have work... and your leg..."
- "Mom could probably manage without you a couple of days if I ask nicely, and if worst comes to worst, you can carry me. It'll be like old times." I said jokeingly. She looked at me for a while with a way more serious look than I anticipated.
- "Sure... We'll go the day after tomorrow. That should leave time for some preparations."

I hated the wait. Per her orders I was to stay off my feet as much as possible and she would spend the day prepairing. Mom didn't even question her request. Of course Jamie deserved a couple of days off, even though she couldn't really understand why we were going to such a sad place.
- "I just want to see it mom." She shook her head.
- "I guess I can't understand, but if it's something you have to do you should go." She asked us why we didn't take the bikes as well. We just said we wanted the full nature experience. Luckily my leg was a bit better so mom couldn't tell I was injured. I could walk normally if I concentrated, but it still hurt. If mom had seen the leg she probably would have stopped us.

I felt a bit guilty for not doing anything. Staying in moms house all day. I decided to at least make dinner for them. I figured I could do that without putting too much stress on the leg. As I was trying to find something to cook I went out in the garage to look in the extra freezer my mom had out there, and then I saw Jamies bike parked next to mine. I didn't think too much of it in the evening, but she did park my rental in the garage and then she left without any bike or car... And obviously she had time to collect her ride from the lake. Maybe someone else had driven her, or perhaps she just went and got it. She was obviously strong enough to walk there... But her talk of speed yesterday had me thinking. Strength, speed and infinite breath... What was she? I hoped cooking would take my mind of it for a while, but no. I ended up cooking a lot more than I had intended, so when mom and Jamie came back there was enough food to serve ten people.
- "Don't worry about it dear. I'll just put it into boxes in the freezer and have them for lunch." mom said reasuringly. I had made a Bolognese so it was easy enough to freeze and use again. And mom and I finally had a conversation about me not being a full time vegetarian anymore. Jamie sat quietly most of the time during the meal, which was kind of good for me. It made it easier to take my mind of her for a while.

Suddenly Jamie excused herself and went out to finish up some chores and prepare as much as she could for her time away so mom wouldn't have to do too much by herself.
- "She has been very focused today. What little she talks about it's all about your trip. She wasn't even this excited for her birthday."
- "Oh?" I felt so stupid for not having anything better to say. Mom just shot me a smile and finished her plate as well.
- "I've been thinking about it, and it seems like a good idea... You going to that horrible place." she said as she started to do the dishes.
- "Mom, I'm sure the place itself isn't all that horrible."
- "I'm sure that's true, but you know what I mean. It holds some horrible memories... but I think I'm starting to get it. Even if I don't fully understand, I'm starting to get it... If I might be as bold as to make a request." Mom was not really one for making requests usually.
- "I'm listening."
- "I really wish you'd visit his grave as well... If this is some soul searching quest, you could take the time to go there."
- "We could go together..." I suggested after some consideration. The thought of visiting dads grave had totally slipped my mind, and my first reaction when mom spoke of it was feeling defensive.
- "I would very much like that. Would you mind if we go after you come back from the hike though? Jamie and I will need most of the evening to prepare if I am to last these days without her."
- "I won't mind. If you are that busy, perhaps I should do the dishes then?" Mom gave me a hug and a kiss and left me alone with my thoughts again. I had no idea Jamie was excited. It was really hard to tell for me, but if mom said she was, who was I to doubt her?

With the dishes done and the kitchen clean, I decided to try and get some rest. Jamie had after all ordered me to stay off my feet. It was getting dark outside already so with any luck I hoped to fall asleep and have this day over with. The suspense was killing me. Sleep did however not come. It didn't feel right to lie there doing nothing while Jamie and my mother was out working. But I had nothing else to do. Jamie even said she would pack everything we needed. But I could not expect her to do all the work, could I? I at least had to pack clothes for myself. For some reason I started to rummage around in my old closet. Surley I wouldn't find anything that would fit me since it's been so long since I lived here, but at least it kept me occupied. There were a lot of memories connected to all the clothes, and most of them made me not think of her. It's not all good to second guess one self too much, but looking at all the clothes and happy memories they unlocked made it hard to remember why I felt the urge to leave town so much. Growing up in a small town had given me so much, but I guess I couldn't see that until I left and came back a different person. Suddenly I found a couple of dungarees that I had no memory of at first. They looked big enough to fit me so I tried them on. They were too big even, and that's when it hit me. The one time dad tried to buy me clothes. A bit of a stereotype, I know, but dad let mom handle all the shopping that did not include any machinery, and when I was 8 I questioned it.
- "Why don't you buy me clothes daddy?"
- "Because I don't know anything about clothes. Your mom does, so she gets to buy them. She even buys my clothes."
- "But I want you to buy me something..."
- "Oh? I guess I could try." he said, and a day later he came home with a pair of dungarees, exactly like his own. The same size even. Mom couldn't stop laughing when I tried them on.
- "You must have realized they would be way to big for her..." she said finally. I remember my dads uncomfortable look.
- "Well, I knew that, but I didn't think they would be That big... I figured I give her something to grow into since I don't shop for clothes that often... and I really thought she was a bit bigger already."
- "She's eight years old dear..."
- "Yeah, and it feels like yesterday she was five." he said and slammed his hand in the table and pomposly declared in a funny voice "You mark my words, they will fit her one day!" and I felt like I couldn't disappoint my father. I remembered I used to have a sewing kit somewhere in my room, so I could modify the overalls to fit perfectly and make my dads declaration true. Then I fell asleep, looking for the needle and thread.

- "What are you wearing?" mom asked in an almost barking voice. The sun was up so I must have slept through the night.
- "The dungarees that dad gave me. What time is it?" I said yawning and stretching.
- "Late enough. Jamie is already here, ready to leave. Are you wearing those to the hike?"
- "I planned on it, but they are a bit too long."
- "Give them here, I'll fix it while you eat breakfast. I won't let you go hiking on an empty stomach."

Jamie was already sitting by the kitchen table when I got downstairs.
- "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sleep so late."
- "No worries, it's not that late. I just couldn't sleep. I really wanted to get going. It wasn't my intention to set your mom on you. I heard her not so gentle wake up call."
- "Well... It's just like old times when she yelled at me to get to school. I'm surprised I slept so good... Yesterday I was so nervous I couldn't sleep, and suddenly it was today." I said going through the cupboards looking for something to eat.
- "You mind getting some breakfast for me as well? I didn't eat before I came here." Jamie said looking a bit ashamed for some reason.
- "Sure, I guess mom won't mind... She forbade me to go without eating first and I would think the same rule applies to you." We ate in silence until mom came down and handed me the modified garment.
- "I didn't do much. I figured you'd want to be on your way soon so I just made sure you won't trip on the legs. It looked like they fitted alright, but I think you might want to use this belt to make them sit right over your hips, so the shoulder straps won't take all the weight. Might make for an uncomfortable hike..." Mom was right of course. The belt made the whole thing a bit more comfortable to wear, even though it didn't look very stylish, but who had time to think about style while going for a hike in the woods?

We said our goodbyes and headed out. Mother asked why we didn't bring anything and Jamie explained that she left the backpacks by the road. I guess mom was nervous because she offered to come with us to the backpacks at least, but I shoed her off.
- "I'm sure Jamie packed everything we need!"
- "I wasn't trying to snoop..." mom said in the voice of someone caught snooping, then we headed our different ways. Jamie kept a steady pace and it seemed like I could keep up fine with her. My leg was hardly bothering me at all. We weren't far from the house but I could feel the wilderness spread out around us. Unlike the town where everything was touched by human hands, this land was nothing like it. You could get a sense of it from the back of a bike, but it was much closer now.
- "I must have spent too much time in the city." I said after a while.
- "What makes you say that?" Jamie was still a bit ahead of me, but I was basically keeping up. Besides, walking behind her had the perk of beeing able to look at her without her knowing it... well... I guess it would be easy for her to figure out, but it still felt better for some reason.
- "Well... you know... there are so much trees here. I always knew there were, I'm not stupid... But I feel stupid, because we are here... in a real forest. Not a park or some garden..."
- "I think it's more the fact that you are a pilot that messes with your head here. You are used to move so much faster, way up there, but now you're really in it, walking slowly, no control, no instruments... just you... looking at my butt."
- "I wasn't looking at your butt..." A quickly modified truth "More like your hair."
- "You were looking at my hair?"
- "It has a very hypnotizing swing going on right now. By the way, where are those backpacks?"
- "It's one back pack actually, and I took the liberty of storing it a bit further ahead."
- "So you're going to carry everything?" She turned her head around and gave me a sly look.
- "I thought you said you knew I was strong..." she said and tossed her hair a bit extra as she looked ahead again.
- "I'm sorry, what did you say? Didn't hear, was too buzy looking at your butt." If she was messing with me I guess it was okay to mess right back. She just snickered and kept on walking.

Suddenly we went from tiny paths to an old road. It wasn't much better than the paths really in terms of vegitation. This road hadn't been used in a long time, but it was still visible because it was unnaturally straight.
- "This is the way you would have been on should you have come back the way you supposed to. At least that's what you told me back then... so I got here and then I started to walk to meet you." She walked over to a tree and grabbed something. A relatively huge backpack.
- "You really shouldn't have packed everything in one bag. I'll feel useless."
- "Don't worry about me. I have no trouble getting around, even with luggage. You are still hurt, even though it looks better. Give it an hour or so and you'll start feeling your leg resist. Tell me when you get tired and we'll rest."
- "You sound really cocky right now..." I said, trying to hide that I was a bit annoyed by her manners.
- "Oh? I'm sorry..." she said after some consideration. "I turned into my dad there for a moment. He is a total control freak when it comes to camping and hiking."
- "I remember that happening a lot when I turned twenty... Finding out how much like my parents I really was."
- "Goodness... I'm twenty already..."
- "I felt alot like that too, but don't worry. You'll soon realize that isn't much more than a number."
- "Well, that's easy for you to say, you've done things. I've spent twenty years here basically doing nothing."
- "Oh... saving me was kind of a big feat I think. Besides I was under the impression that you liked it here."
- "I do... I really do... but suddenly it felt like I didn't."
- "Believe it or not... that happened to me alot too. I was so sure when I left that I was doing what I was supposed to do. And then I wasn't, but I felt like I couldn't go back... I had invested all of it right where I was..."
- "How did you get over it?" I didn't realize at first but we had slowed to a halt and she was looking right at me.
- "I kind of never did... but I figured... home is where the heart is, you know?" She looked at me like she didn't understand at all. "I set my heart on leaving and I did, and that is what I needed to do right then... and now I felt like returning returning was the right thing to do... It might have been selfish of me to do what I wanted like that... but I was just so curious... Perhaps it doesn't make sense..."
- "I've been the oposite practically. I just wanted to stay here, where it's safe. I'm just so afraid of what will happen if people find out about me... It's going to sound like I'm banging my own drum here, but as fas as I know, I'm the only one of my kind..." I remembered my own struggles in youth when I had thoughts like hers, but with the information I had I already knew hers was another condition than a struggle with sexual orientation. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to get so gloomy" she said with a forced smile and started walking again.

The silence was massive, almost pressing upon us. It was almost strange how quite it could be in a forest. This living city with a block-like structure except with trees rather than buildings. And animals, lots of animals.
- "Have you seen all the animals around us?" I dared to ask after a while. "It's almost like they're following us."
- "They are." Jamie said and stopped. I stopped in her tracks and so did all the animals around us.
- "Scary..."
- "Nah... They know me, and they know I usually walk alone. They're curious to who you are. They'll probably leave us alone in a couple of minutes"
- "You must come here often then... If they know you I mean."
- "Not as often as I used to... I think I have a special aura or something though. They always come and check up on me when I go into the woods. They don't usually stay this long though. Should we go on?"
- "You were right... I am having a hard time with my leg, so if you don't mind I'd like to rest for a while."
- "Oh..." she said and finally turned around and faced me. "I was hoping you could go for five more minutes. There is a creek up ahead that is a perfect resting spot."

It turned out to be more like half an hour of more walking, but I didn't point that out to her. She probably did the calculations with her own pace in mind, because even if I wasn't hurt there would have been no way we could have walked that distance in five minutes. She was however right, it was a good resting spot. Suddenly the trees were a bit less dense and the canopy opened up. The trees had tiny spots of lights dancing all over them from the reflected light of the creek. The water even swept with it a nice breeze, and the pressing silence was broken as the water rushed.
- "The water is clean enough to drink, and deep enough to soak your leg if you feel like." she explained as she put the backpack down and stretched.
- "Are you tired?"
- "Nah... Didn't even break a sweat." She didn't lie. We had been hiking for a good while now, and I was actually pretty hot and bothered, but by the looks of her she seemed well rested.
- "Do we have something to eat in here?" I said and slapped the luggage. I wasn't all that hungry to be honest, but she had been so adamant about carrying that thing so I just wanted to touch it. It didn't budge one bit.
- "Let me look and see what I can find. I'm not sure where everything ended up in there." She tried to shove me aside gently, but I grabbed hold of the backpack as she did, and neither me or the bag moved.
- "Seriously? What did you pack? This thing weighs a ton..."
- "But I have no problem carrying it right? Don't judge me... I thought... you're injured, and I know you know some about me so... I thought I didn't have to act around you." She must have thought a lot about this, but I felt a bit struck by her seemingly sudden defensive mode.
- "I'm sorry. I didn't know that. I should have trusted you." She must have picked up on my confusion and she turned down the hostility.
- "Don't apologize... I shouldn't assume that you'd figure that out... I want to be honest with you and just tell you, but I've been carrying this around since I was a kid. I've never been this open and it's new ground for me."
- "Don't sweat it... I know a little something about chosing carefully who you share information with and who to keep it from." I rolled up my pants, got rid of my socks and shoes and put my legs in the creek and let out a deep sigh.
- "It's nice isn't it? I love coming here and dipping my feet."
- "Yeah... Nice and cool... I can feel my pulse beating even in the healthy leg. Almost hard enough to hurt, but it's a good pain. Makes me want to strip down and lie in the water to see if I could make my whole body feel like that."
- "I don't think the water is deep enough." There was a pause and I could see she was thinking about something. "Do you like pain?" She looked a bit concerned as she finally asked. I got up and started to get undressed, and she looked away. "What are you doing?"
- "I'm going to get in the water. Take a chance and lie down. It looks deep enough to cover me, and it would be nice if you joined me." I waded out to the middle of the creek. "You're nuts. Look, it's already up to my belly button. I'll need to find a rock or something to sit on if I want to keep my head over water."
- "Or you could just sit closer to the shore?" She was starting to undress as well.
- "Good point." I found a good seat. The water was kind of rapid and clear and if I wasn't seated I would most certainly have been carried away. It moved fast enough to keep the banks clean from dirt so it was mostly rocks and pebbles to sit on. "It's not really pain I'm interested in. It's... I don't know. Fatigue... In my line of work I sit all day and concentrate. It's just nice to make the body work, makes me feel alive, makes the body sing in tune with the mind. All that concentration makes my mind tired but not the body, so I need to work it... The body aches but it's a good ache. You must feel it too, but perhaps you are more used to it than I... If you even get tired." I realized as I said it that I might be threading to close to her secret. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry..." She had already gotten into the water and she threw me a carrot.
- "Don't apologize. It must be so hard for you with this weird deal you made with me... not asking questions."
- "Right now I was thinking what this carrot is for..."
- "Weren't you hungry?"
- "Oh... yeah..." I had neglected to tell her that it was a device to touch the bag mostly. Or it started that way anyway. Once I started chewing on the carrot I actually found myself pretty hungry. She tossed me another one as soon as I was finished with the first.
- "As I was packing I thought to myself 'Who in their right mind packs carrots as a snack?' then I remembered it was basically all I had home."
- "I like it. It's crunchy..."

Small talk was has hard today, but I didn't care so much. She didn't seem to mind either. We just sat there and basked in the sunlight for a while. My whole body was pounding, and I started to feel the walk in my bones. I couldn't remember the last time I had walked for more than an hour straight, and even though I considered myself to be in good shape I was starting to feel tired as I sat there. It was nice in a way though. I didn't feel so stressed out. The only thing that bothered me was my leg. The water was helping, but it took much longer for my leg to relax than the rest of my body.
- "Are you having second thoughts?" Jamie said suddenly. I was obviously not so subtle about my ache.
- "Nah... It's a bit uncomfortable, but I can manage. Do we need to go?"
- "We can hang here for a bit longer, if you feel like you need it. The schedule is looking good so far."
- "You made a schedule?"
- "Not a proper one on paper or anything... I'm comparing to when I was looking for you as a kid. We're moving significantly faster than young me."
- "I thought... never mind... I promised I wasn't going to ask..."
- "Ask away... I'll answer if I feel comfortable enough."
- "Aren't you fast? Like faster than avarage?" She gave me a long hard look, and I could see the gears turning behind her eyes, mulling over wether to share or not.
- "It's not that I'm fast really. It's a by-product of what I am. Everything you've seen me do is not intentional. It just bleeds through from..." she was either chosing her words carefully or regretting telling me something, "the real me... When I was looking for you I did it as a regular eight year old. It was after I found you that I switched gears."
- "Did it start with me? Or were you able to do... what you do before that?"
- "It started when I was three... or I guess I was born with it, but my earliest memories of it are from around then. Realizing I wasn't like others." She just stopped there and gave me a smile and kind of spaced out. I figured she was done for now.

I decided to get up. Even though we weren't in a hurry I thought it might be best to get moving if we were going to get anywhere with my leg. Standing up was easy enough, but finding solid footing to climb out of the water proved to be harder. The cold rocks were slippery and my two first attempts just ended up with my feet sliding down to the same spot I started from.
- "Need a hand?" Jamie asked. She was still sitting down with a strange look on her face. A mix of amusement and concern. "Is the leg bothering you?"
- "The leg is fine" I lied. A small lie though, because the leg was felt better now, but I had a feeling it might be acting up again once we started walking. "I just need to find a not so slippery part to climb out of here."
- "It's pretty steep over there." She pointed to where she got in. "Might be easier to deal with than these slippery rocks."
- "Nice, thanks." I made my way over there. It was a pretty good ledge but the water was much deeper so I had to crawl out, and then I just flopped down in a patch of grass. I decided to lie there for a while to dry in the sun. I heard her move around in the water as well, getting close to the ledge.
- "Why do you feel the need to be so tough around me? I still see that your leg hurts. You limp a bit... also look at that bruise. It's got to hurt, and not in the good way."
- "Are you checking me out?" I said in a flirty tone as I tried to steer her away from the subject of my pain.
- "Well, you've had a couple of hours of trecking to look at me, don't you think it's fair that I get to have a look at you now?" she playfully retorted.
- "Fair? You think it's an even trade that I get to see you clothed and you get to see me naked?"
- "You could have looked while we were in the water if you wanted to... besides, you've had hours. I've only had a minute like this." I laughed and thought about it for a moment.
- "You have a point, but I still just saw the backpack mostly if I tried to look. Not that I'm admitting that I did. I was watching the magnificent nature around us." She threw water up at me.
- "Liar!" She splashed me again. "And that's for lying about the leg."
- "Aw... I was planning to dry in the sun for a bit, but you got me wet again." She snorted. "What's so funny?"
- "I got you wet."
- "Nice... are you five or something?" I closed my eyes to enjoy the sun when I heard her splashing and getting out of the water. I also felt that something was blocking the sun, and it started to drip on my skin. I could sense her looming over me. I was just about to speak when she dumped water over my face.
- "I'm only acting my age!" she sang as she sat down beside me. I tried to shoot her an angry look, but she had her head in the clouds and didn't notice me so I resumed the drying off in the sun.

- "I've been thinking about kissing you since this morning." she said after a while. "Not sure what to do about it... because I don't want to mess up you know?" She still wasn't looking at me. "It's a rare connection between us, and it's confusing. I haven't found that with anyone here in town, and I don't want to make a fool out of myself and throw myself into something that might mess things up. I guess this was what you were thinking about after the last time."
- "Yeah... along those lines... I believe you called it a jumpstart."
- "I hardly remember what we said. I just have the picture of you coming down the stairs with no pants while I was sitting by the table... There was a split second where I thought that this is what it is to live together with someone you really care about. To get to see the little moments where the world just disappears and there is just you... in that sweater with no pants... coming down to eat breakfast."
- "That really is a jumpstart."
- "Yeah... I hope I'm not freaking you out."
- "Not at all... It's nice to get it confirmed that I'm not the only one who is a bit confused."
- "So... should I kiss you?" She still wasn't looking at me.
- "That is up to you." I was looking at her until she finally turned her head around...