I could never explain why it happened, though I
remember the process exactly. I was waiting for my girlfriend, Katya, in her
living room, when I started to feel sick to my stomach. Very soon after I got
dizzy, but when I tried to call out to her my mouth simply would not open. All
I could do was stand there, my head swimming, while the pain gradually became
more intense.
That was when I noticed everything around me getting
bigger. It was subtle at first, like the base of the windowsill being higher
than it was, or a lamp being shoulder-high instead of chest-high, but rapidly
accelerated. Within seconds the light switches were over my head, and the
leather armchair could fit three of me sitting side by side. I blinked, and
that same armchair was the size of a building and I would have to climb if I
wanted to sit in it at all. The fibers of the circular woven rug in the middle
of Katya’s living room engulfed my shoes, and the tufts on the ends of the
threads reached up to my ankles. Standing frozen in the middle of the living
room, I realized I had shrunk.
Once the shrinking stopped I could move again, and I immediately
clutched my head and began panicked screaming. How small had I become, an inch?
Half an inch? Even smaller? There was no way to tell exactly on my own, but it
was clear that I was incredibly small. I was not sure whether I would be
readily visible to a normal-sized person, let alone distinguishable as a person
who was just very tiny.
A crash from the hallway broke my train of thought and
I stopped screaming, turning my attention to the doorway. Another crash came a
moment later, followed by a third, and a gargantuan figure appeared in the
frame. Long, straight blond hair flowed down to its chest, with straight bangs
stopping just above a pair of dark blue eyes. It was light-skinned, borderline
pale, with dark red lips and a bulbous nose, and beneath the waterfall of hair
I could see a pearl stud in each ear. Its body was well-toned, with abs visible
under a black tank stop that was tucked into a flowing red skirt. One leg,
encased in shimmering black nylon, stepped forward, while the other shifted to
push it ahead, the black leather flat at its base contorting around the toes. I
realized to my shock that the monolithic person coming toward me was Katya.
The next time Katya’s flat hit the ground I felt a
small quake run through the ground before I heard the resulting boom. She
placed an open palm on the top of the doorframe with a thud and ducked under it
to avoid hitting her forehead on the wood when she entered the room. Katya was
exceptionally tall, a hair over two meters, but nowhere near the human
skyscraper I was looking at now. She must have been a thousand times my size at
the very least.
I stood transfixed as she walked toward me, her white,
smooth soles alternating with the matte black of her flats. My awe made it
difficult to process the intense noise that accompanied every step, getting
louder each time, or the quakes radiating from the impacts. It was not until
she reached the edge of the carpet that I realized I was in danger of being
squished under my girlfriend’s shoe. Panicking, I darted off perpendicular to
her, hoping I had started running in time.
Katya’s heel landed some distance away, and I was not
prepared for the rest of her foot to come swinging down. It landed with a
muffled thump, displacing enough air as it descended to give me a firm shove
forward and throw me off balance. An intense seismic event followed, and the
trembling floor erased what was left of my balance and sent me tumbling onto my
face. While I fell the overwhelming cacophony of her step hit my ears,
temporarily overwhelming my sense of hearing. My ears rang, and I knew I had just
avoided getting accidentally squashed by my girlfriend by mere millimeters.
I pushed myself onto my back, my skins scraping
against the rough fibers of the rug. My vision swam, and I barely registered
the impact of her other foot setting down behind me, much more softly than the
one that had nearly crushed me. With great effort I pushed myself off the
ground, my shaky elbows struggling to get me up to a kneel. Katya twitched her
toes, and the sound of creaking leather bled through the ringing while I caught
my breath. Pressing my hands against the floor I tried to stand back up, but my
knees, weakened by all the shaking, could not support me just yet. Desperately,
I threw my arms forward and just managed to catch myself against the immense
leather wall of Katya’s shoe.
For a moment I simply leaned against my titanic
girlfriend’s enormous shoe, resting. The strong smell of cured leather
intermingled with the scent of her perfume, creating a mixture that, while
strong, was not overpowering and was even a little pleasant. I looked up at
Katya’s colossal body looming over me, her toned legs stretching hundreds of
feet upward, and became disheartened. Cast completely in her shadow, whatever
minuscule chance there was of her seeing me from such a high vantage point was
erased. My view of her from down here was the same as an ant’s, and I certainly
felt like one in comparison to her.
“Katya!” I yelled as loud as I could. “Katya, down
here, in the rug! I shrank, help me!” With not even a twitch in response, I
cupped a hand around my mouth and tried again. “Katya, look down by your shoe!
I’m here but I’m tiny, something shrank me and I need your help! Please, just
look for me Katya!” Katya looked down and began to move one of her humongous
arms, and my heart leapt at the idea that she had heard me.
Instead, she reached into the small pocket in her
skirt and withdrew her phone. “Where could he possibly be?” she said to
herself. Even amid the deep rumble of her low voice I could hear her strong
Russian accent. “He did not send a text. I did not hear him leave. He must be
here somewhere.” She raised her phone toward her head, blocking my view of her
face.
That was it! I may have been too small for her to
hear, but if my clothes shrank with me, my phone must have too. My hand shot
into my pocket to grab it, but found only thin cloth. For a second I was
confused, then it came rushing back. I had taken left it out in my car while I
ran in to get Katya, expecting it to only take a few minutes. Had I known that
I was about to shrink and that phone would be my only lifeline to my gargantuan
girlfriend towering over me, I would have thought better of it.
“Katya!” I tried to get her attention from the floor
one last time. “Katya, please, look for me on the floor! I don’t know what
happened but I shrank to the size of an ant, please help me!” She shifted her
weight between her powerful legs, making the tight nylon covering around them
bulge slightly differently. “I’m begging you, Katya, if you can hear me, just
look down by your shoe!” Not even a twitch from the long fingers cradling her
phone. I would have to find another way to get her attention despite my puny
size.
I looked up at the tremendous wall of black leather
looming over me presented by Katya’s shoe. To my left, near her toes, were deep
creases running its whole impressive height from frequent bending. Over to my
right, the shoe’s negligible heel may as well have been a tower to me, and was
smooth enough that I could not find any significant blemishes in it from where
I stood. Immediately above me, the instep of her shoe was marred by minute
imperfections from the leather’s grain, almost imperceptible at normal size,
but easily visible at my shrunken stature. Though I was not a very strong
climber, and was actually not strong in any physical sense, the only chance I
had to get her attention was to climb on top of her foot.
Summonong what resolve I could, I reached up to grab
the indentation where Katya’s sole met the rest of her shoe only to find it was
just out of reach. With a quick hop I was able to slip my fingertips into the
groove, and I kicked against the sole to get further up. Planting one foot flat
against the solid surface, I shot one arm upward to find a handhold in the
leather. My fingers slipped into the small ridge and I pulled myself upward,
sliding the toes of one foot into where my fingers had just been.
Pressed this close to Katya’s flat, the smell of
leather became overpowering. It was strong enough to make me recoil, but I
kept my fingers firmly dug into the supple surface of her shoe. There was a
long climb ahead of me, and I could only take it one minute ascent at a time. I
moved one hand up to find its grip, then drew up that leg to find somewhere
suitable for it to rest. Keeping three points of contact at all times would
make climbing Katya’s foot take an excruciatingly long time, but I had read
that it was the safest way to go. If I took too many risks I would never reach
the summit, and I would never be able to get Katya’s attention.
I began to get tired about halfway up Katya’s insole,
with the silver fringe around the opening of her flat still far away. While I
took a quick breather, the foot I clung to suddenly lurched upward, lifting me
along with it. My stomach jumped to my throat with the movement, and I dug my
nails in to keep my position. Just as suddenly as it started, however, the
movement reversed, and I found myself plummeting to the floor. Knowing my life depended
on it, I held on as well as I could during the brief, violent trip, just hoping
it would be over soon.
Katya’s foot slammed back into the ground with the
force of a meteorite, and a shockwave of tremendous power ran up the length of
her leg. The force of it alone was enough to make me lose my grip, but as it
coursed through my fingers it enervated the joints enough that I would not be
able to grip anything solidly for a while anyway. Contoured leather raced by on
my way down to the floor, where I landed on my back amid the carpet.
“What, has he decided to ghost me?” Katya boomed, her
powerful voice resonating in my ear canals. “Does he think he is too good to
reply to my texts?” She raised her foot again, and I briefly saw the white,
flat expanse of her sole before it impacted the ground again. An enormous quake
emanated from the contact point, accompanied by the horrific thunder of her
footfall.
“He has not even read my message!” Katya stomped her
gigantic foot again, and I felt the shockwave of her anger in the roots of my
teeth. My ears were ringing so loudly that the only things I could hear were
there horrifying footfalls of her stomps and her shouting.
“Katya, please, I’m down here!” I managed weakly,
though I could not hear my own voice over the din she had caused.
“If he wants to play games, stand me up, and ghost me,
I can do the same,” Katya declared with terrifying volume. “He will come to
regret his decision to ignore me.” She lifted her gargantuan foot and slammed
it against the ground several times, each one making a stronger earthquake and
a louder crash. It felt like my body was being shaken apart, and it was a
surprise I could hear anything at all. My vision was blurry, and the only thing
I could focus on was Katya’s monolithic form towering over me as she repeatedly
stomped in frustration.
“That fucking asshole!” Katya raised her foot again, and this
time the vast expanse of her white, hard sole drifted over me. I knew what was
coming, though there was no way to avoid it, and could not even raise my arms
in a futile show of defense. Katya’s tremendous sole grew to consume my vision,
blocking out everything else. It struck me with horrific force, moving at
incredible speed, and before I could even register it hit me my body had been
splattered against the bottom of her shoe. My girlfriend had squashed me in a
fit of misplaced rage, not even knowing she had done it.
Katya inhaled and exhaled deeply several times to calm
herself. She was getting worked up over someone who was not worth it. If he
thought he could do better than her, then he was a fool. Still seething, Katya
went to the kitchen and poured herself a drink. On the way there, her steps
pulverized what was left of her now ex-boyfriend and wiped him off on the
floor. No one would ever learn what happened to him, and she would never learn
just how crushed he was by their breakup.