Reviewer: TomSpeedy Signed [Report This]
Date: June 08 2021 8:20 AM Title: Chapter 10: Part 3

Wow! My goodness! What a chapter! 

I know it’s been a few weeks since part 2, but considering how much is going on in this chapter, I’d say it’s worth it. I think you even could’ve split this chapter into 2 more parts since there was just that much content happening in this segment.

Also, shoutout to your peer reviewer. The chapter was smooth, clear and very readable. Nothing wrong with the writing that could’ve distracted my reading which is awesome. Who knows, maybe there was an error and I was just too into the story to even notice. Haha! 

While part 1 and 2 were amazing, this chapter went to the next level. I mean, sometimes you gotta take a step back and look at how your chapters usually went for the ones you wrote a few months ago. It used to be just Noah waking up from an erotic wet dream. Then he would go to class and Mrs. Johnson would shrink the class for an educational, but sexy lesson. Then they would all grow back to normal and then there’s some cliffhanger at the end. That was it. This chapter has like 10 times more stuff going on and I love it! Very fast paced too so we saw lots of good stuff.

In part 1 and 2, only Trevor, Calvin and Brayden were caught. But in part 3, we see the rest of the group get captured too! Brody, Gatlin, and even our main character Noah! After seeing what happened to Trevor, this was when I was almost in a trance from this story. 

I’m glad you sort of recapped what happened with the first 3 guys so I didn’t have to reread part 2 again. So Trevor got swallowed by Allison, Calvin is in Allison’s cleavage, and Brayden is in Jaimey’s bra ready to be delivered to Mrs. Hulme. 

When the new guys got caught, I immediately thought they were fucked. I thought the girls would swallow all 3 since they all seemed to be satisfied with the tinies they found earlier. Glad they did things differently. Some new creative ways to play with them too. 

With so many girls in the locker room, I admit, it was somewhat difficult to tell who was who. Did I remember them from previous chapters, or were they new girls. I wasn’t so sure. I know Allison from the soccer match chapter, and I remember the name Shelby, but I forgot who she was. Then we got Jaimey, Sarah, Aleasha, and Waverleigh. These last 4 girls were somewhat forgettable since there isn’t much to remember them by. Jaimey of course is the one offering Brayden to the teacher. Sarah gave Brody that blowjob and Waverleigh trapped that random tiny dude under the toilet seat. Aleasha felt like an extra. I don’t remember her having her own moment. 

Shelby and of course Allison stole the show. Shelby immediately drops Gaitlin down to her crotch. Love her determination. She didn’t care who he was. She just wanted to play.  Shelby has this control that I kinda like about her. Somehow she gets bored of Gaitlin which is funny. She then hands him to Allison who tries to decide what to do with him. Also, Calvin must’ve been so horny because he wanted to see Allison punish Gaitlin. Lmao! So Allison eventually uses Gaitlin as toilet paper which must’ve aroused Calvin. Lol. She then leaves Gaitlin in the toilet as if he’s waiting for a death sentence. What he went through was pretty rough, but also kinda sexy. 

Then we got Noah who gets caught staring at Aleasha’s chest and her, Allison, and Jaimey play slingshot. At first, I was confused what they were doing with Jaimey’s panties. I thought they were going to take turns wearing Noah which would’ve also been awesome, but probably repetitive. So this slingshot idea was kinda cool. Shows how these girls love using tinies for literally anything. Noah went from boob to boob as he was aimed directly for each cleavage on each girl. Considering how much Noah love breasts, I’d say this was a dream come true for him.

However, soon it went from boobs to butts and Noah’s fun would come at a cost. He became compressed by ass. The girls took turns but it was Allison, the star girl of this chapter to do some damage, literally. Her big toned ass dislocated Noah. When this happened, I thought they would eat him since they probably thought he was useless. Well, I was sort of right. They did think he was useless, but decided to leave under a toilet seat like the other random guy trapped in another stall. 

Last but not least, we have Brody. He didn’t get as much action as the other 2 guys, but he probably had the most pleasurable experience. He got a handjob from Waverleigh, then a blowjob from Sarah, and then almost had sex with Shelby. I wonder if that random teacher didn’t show up, who knows what Shelby would’ve done then. Well, Brody’s fun is still in progress because Shelby is currently keeping him hostage in her crotch and we have no idea which class she went to. Also, while Noah and Gatlin were rescued at the end, Brody is the only new tiny still trapped. 

With Gatlin and Noah stuck in the stalls waiting for their fate, part of me wasn’t sure if they were going to die or be saved. I now appreciate what you did with Trevor because it shows that anything could happen to these tiny guys. Just because they are the main character students, does not mean they will always be safe. I’m at the point where I don’t mind if Trevor dies or not. If he does die, then I expect a decent part of the next chapter to focus on Mrs. Johnson and the students mourning the loss of him. If he survives, then, we’d get quite the story from him, but we would also get a hard lesson learned for these students so they won’t mess around. They just have to glance at Trevor and it would remind them of their scary adventure. 

So while Gatlin and Noah were waiting, I was impressed that Alexis showed up. I was expecting Mrs. Johnson, but I guess it makes sense since Mrs. Johnson is teaching the class next door. Also, the description you gave Alexis was fabulous. “Tall, slim, fit with large hips.” That sounds like a dream figure to me. It’s weird. I don’t remember Alexis having large hips. I thought she had that runway model thin frame with probably average sized hips. Well, it’s a minor thing, so I don’t mind it. Anyway, she spots Gaitlin which also makes sense since she was always good at watching students from above while Mrs. Johnson teaches the class. Also, I’m glad that Gatlin decided to alert Alexis of his friends instead of explaining the whole story. If it was me, I probably would’ve told the story first since it was that crazy. 

Alexis comes in clutch and also saves Noah before the other girl crushed him. I love how you showed the random guy get crushed right before the scene with Noah, so that way, we get an idea of how easily Noah would die if that girl sat down on that seat. I mean, she even said that she had to go, so there was a chance that the girl could’ve ignored Alexis and sat down anyway to relieve herself. That’s crazy close if you think about it. 

Nearing the end, we get Alexis playing hero mode as she tries to rescue everyone. Smart move to go straight for Allison who not only has Trevor in her stomach, but also Calvin in her cleavage. We saw Alexis rescue Trevor, but not Calvin. Did Gatlin not tell Alexis about Calvin? Oh shit, maybe this is Gatlin’s form of revenge for Calvin convincing Allison to punish Gatlin earlier in the chapter! That makes sense! Alexis might later ask Gatlin where is Calvin and Gatlin might lie and say that Allison only had Trevor so that way Calvin is stuck with Allison. That’s crazy clever if you meant to write that. Lol. 

Meanwhile, Trevor gets delivered to Mrs. Johnson and Mrs. Johnson sounded like she has seen this situation before. Makes me wonder how many tinies she has tried to save tinies after being swallowed in the past. As I said before, I don’t mind if Trevor dies or not. Either way, it would convey a deep message to the other guys on how the tables have turned on their little sneaky locker room idea. 

So, now we have Noah and Gatlin rescued. Trevor is being taken care of with Mrs. Johnson. Calvin is still trapped in Allison’s cleavage, but he probably doesn’t mind it. Brody is stuck in Shelby’s crotch, and then we have Brayden who is in Jaimey’s bra. 

Speaking of Brayden, he got quite the cliffhanger. So Jaimey offers Brayden to Mrs. Hulme or Rachel in this case. Also, quick side note: I love the name Rachel. One of my many crushes has that name and the name itself is sexy. So to see this sexy teacher be named Rachel is a bonus. Anyway, I just love how she casually accepts Brayden as a gift and also how comfortable she is with Jaimey dropping him down Rachel’s pants. Makes you wonder if Rachel has done other sexual stuff in front of her students. I mean, if she is this comfortable to accept a new tiny to her pussy in front of a student, then it makes me excited to see what she does in private. ;)

At the moment, we got Alexis trying to gather all 6 of the boys that got caught. I’m curious to see how she will get Calvin, Brody and Brayden. Allison has Calvin so either Alexis gets him next or they keep it a secret and Allison keeps Calvin. Alexis would then probably go after Brody who is held hostage by Shelby. With Shelby’s attitude, I’m not sure if she would hand Brody to Alexis as easily. So that would be fun to see. Then we got Mrs. Hulme or Rachel who has Brayden down her pants. 

Now I personally wouldn’t mind if Alexis couldn’t rescue Brayden. The idea of a tiny student being mistaken for a disposable and then offered to a sexy teacher as a sex toy gift so she would take him to play with is a really hot idea. Maybe Alexis does eventually rescue Brayden, but not before Rachel takes him home and has her way with him. So hopefully Alexis goes after Brayden last so this situation might actually happen. 

Or maybe Alexis confronts Rachel and explains that her new tiny is actually Brayden. Then Rachel could counter and state that Brayden was always a trouble maker in her class so she plans on keeping him for the time being to perform her own version of detention, whether that’s at school or at her home. 

Well, I think I covered about everything and once again, I just gotta say that this chapter was amazing! I can’t wait for the next chapter! 

Author's Response:

Haha I definitely could’ve split it up into Parts 3 and 4. 11,000+ words is a lot for a single chapter. It’s almost like a mini story on its own. The most logical spot that I considered breaking it up at was just after the boys were hidden in the bathroom and the girls left. But by that point the suspense was pretty high and I really didn’t want to say “sorry, you gotta wait another few weeks!” lol. I love that scene where Noah, Gatlin, and the disposable are either in the toilet or hidden under the seat. That’s the scene that I ended up building all of Chapter 10 around. When I was initially planning the story, I actually had Trevor in the disposable’s place (and dying) and had Calvin being swallowed by Allison (and dying) lol. It was meant to be a gruesome chapter that would’ve really shook up the story. But then as the story started to move along and I’ve been working out how I want the next 30 chapters to go and then how I want the ending to go down, I actually need at least one of them alive lol. Plus the story gets really tricky and even more far fetched than it already is cause then it’s like, two of the boys just got murdered… That’s a pretty massive plot point that I didn’t want to be that big. Overall, I like how Chapter 10 turned out though. The boys saw a lot, learned a lot, and we met a lot of interesting characters. Starts to expand the school too. Now we’ve seen the classroom, the changeroom, a hallway, the sporting field, and a lot more of the students. 

I sort of thought the same thing too as I was looking back at my chapters and what I have planned. The start was a pretty slow burn and we only really saw one set, the boys, Ms. Johnson, and Alexis. We’ve come a long way since then just from the last few parts. As much as the story is still about Ms. Johnson and her students, the “weeks” will start to tick by quite a bit slower now as the characters do more outside of the classroom. Noah and Gatlin are also far from the classroom, tiny, and with a pretty senior girl. That’s a pretty big step from Alexis just watching them from a distance. Now that the world is hopefully becoming a bit clearer and we’re seeing who the main characters are, the story will start to build up some of those developing relationships.

I definitely knew there would be a risk of confusion by having so many different characters interacting in one room (and I mentioned this to my peer reviewer too) but I don’t think I would do it any differently. If this were a movie, I think it would be a lot clearer and mean a lot more. But I really wanted to capture the busy room and just how many girls the boys had available to spy on. The chapter also really needed to be fast paced since the girls still have class to go to so they can’t spend all day playing with the tiny people. There were definitely a few girls who were in this chapter just to fill out the scene and won’t really play much of a part in the story.

Basically the main cast that will be recurring throughout the story is something like this:

• Ms. Johnson

• Main group of friends: Noah, Gatlin, Brayden, Brody, Ryan

• Main girls: Alexis, Allison, Sadie

• Supporting: Candice, Rachel W (not Mrs. Rachel Hulme)

• Other: Calvin, Trevor (maybe), Liam, Noelle (haven’t really met), Jaimey, Shelby

• Plus a few others who will show up here and there (secrets)

But yeah, your summary is exactly right. Noah and Gatlin are with Alexis. Brayden just got dropped off with Mrs. Hulme. Brody is with Shelby. Ryan is still in Ms. Johnson’s classroom but wasn’t part of the changeroom sequence. Calvin is still with Allison. Trevor is now with Ms. Johnson.

The dynamic between Gatlin, Calvin, and Trevor is certainly an interesting one. No matter what happens to Trevor, it is going to leave a mark on the boys moving forward. I tried to set it up so that even if he dies or lives, it reminds us of the danger all tinies face. Even if he lives, he’s likely not going to come out as the same pristine, young man that he once was. The stomach is a pretty cruel place and he was in there for quite a while (left this time unspecified since it was only a short period of time but we’re not meant to know exactly how short). I like it because it sort of sets up a major death later in the story but we don’t know who it could be. As for Gatlin and Calvin, that’s sort of where an interesting character-to-character conflict begins. Calvin was almost killed by Sadie and his brother was swallowed by Allison. Who’s he going to blame for all that? The girls? Well they honestly didn’t know who the boys were. Themselves? Young boys are good at throwing around blame so long as it never ends up on them. Who was the one who had the brilliant idea of sneaking into the changeroom? Hmm. So by this point Calvin is furious and in survival mode. Poor Gatlin is caught up in the middle of things and is trying to deal with his own anger and disorientation (he was nearly flushed away). So when he’s talking to Alexis he’s just trying to spit out whatever is on his mind first, which unfortunately for Calvin doesn’t include him.

Yeah I guess I did describe Alexis as having pretty large hips in this chapter. In a way that’s not necessarily wrong but I definitely picture her as having that tall, slim supermodel-like figure. So you could say that her butt is bigger than average but not massive. I wish I could share the pictures I have of each character that inspire their descriptions but I don’t want to ruin anyone’s mental pictures.

I thought that scene where Ms. Johnson takes Trevor and later texts Alexis was pretty clever in hinting that Ms. Johnson knows a lot of important, smart people. We haven’t really got a good feeling yet, but Ms. Johnson played a fairly large role in where the shrinking tech is at today. Along the way she made a lot of big named connections. I’d love to write a spinoff story about just Ms. Johnson in the early days of the tech and her first encounters with tiny men. She’s definitely seen her fair share of injured tiny people and knows a thing or two about how to treat them and when they can’t be saved.

That’s awesome that you already have a connection with the name “Rachel” haha. I think you’ll like what’s coming then because I actually have two Rachel’s planned for this story. Rachel Hulme who we’re on the verge of taking a dive into and Rachel W who will be introduced during midterms in about 10 chapters or so. Next chapter is going to be pretty scary I think. I don’t picture the girls in Chapter 10 to be sadistic (other than maybe Shelby a little). I wrote that chapter as if they were just having fun as a bunch of horny teenage girls who were playing off of each other’s excitement haha. Ms. Johnson had that one chapter where she was a bit cruel to her disposables but I pictured that as being more of a show of dominance than cruelness. I think we’re going to see that Mrs. Hulme has much different morals than Ms. Johnson. When you’re reading the next chapter, remember how Ms. Johnson lets her disposables roam her house when she’s not there and has her entire house rigged specially for tiny people. Rachel does not lol. I have a line coming up from Rachel W later on that’s something like, “I’m the nice Rachel, or so I’ve heard.” I suspect the next chapter is going to be a divided one since there’s a reason Rachel is Mrs. Hulme and not Ms. Hulme. All the focus is gonna be on pleasing Mrs. Hulme though. Alexis is certainly going to have her hands full in trying to save Brayden. There will be a cost for what the boys have set up.

I’m very glad that everyone still seems to be enjoying this story. It’s continuing to be a lot of fun to write. I usually have to take a few days off from writing after each chapter just because each one takes a lot of effort to do well haha. There are some huge chapters that I really want to get to though. I suspect that now that I know there is some flexibility in splitting chapters into parts I’ll do this again in the future. That changeroom sequence will probably be the biggest single continuous sequence in the story but there are a few that might be able to rival it. I’m very curious to know what my Chapter 40-50 will read like. I feel like each chapter is getting better and better. I just need to make sure I keep one-upping my ideas haha. I think I have quite a few golden ideas in store though. I suspect some scenarios will feel a little bit repetitive over time but I’m definitely striving to have each chapter feel totally fresh and new (I think we’ve done that so far). This world just offers so much content, it’s crazy.

Thanks for your support as always!