Date: May 20 2021 10:22 PM Title: Chapter 10: Part 2
I really enjoyed the chapter with Miss Johnson using her own body to give the boys a lesson on bodily functions. There's just something so fearless, assertive, yet intimate, about it. There she is casually sitting on the toilet with her vulva spread wide open, showing exactly where girls pee from, then she shows exactly how the female urination process looks like by showing her urine coming out of her urethra as she urinates in full view of all the boys. She is just so uninhibited and fearless. Showing off her body is one thing, showing off bodily functions, and even playfully peeing on some of her students, is another. Still it's an anatomy lesson and mystery of the female body (where do girls pee from?) that they had to learn. I'm not sure if it put her in the power position, casually baring her pussy and pissing in front of everyone, or if it put her in the vulnerable position, showing something so intimate. The truth is it's probably neither, she just seems so at ease with the female body that she has no need for shame or secrets. She even pooped in front of them. Her holding in her pee all morning just so she could use it for her lesson, shows commitment as a guide on her part, but probably made her pee a bit yellow and strong, next time she'll probably just drink a lot of water. Still Calvin, Trevor, and the rest of them were lucky she didn't eat any tinies before hand. Seeing a log coming out of her, and even being hit by it, with bodies baked into it might be a bit too scary.
I couldn't help but notice this isn't the first time she has used the toilet with tinies in it. Earlier, in her house when the black convict fell into her toilet, she contemptously used the toilet with him in it before flushing him to his doom. By contrast, with her boys she extends every courtesy, even asking permission from the boys in the toilet before she pees on them playfully, not with contempt. And she shows genuine worry and near panic when she poops on Calvin and Trevor and they go to deep under. I'm just suprised she pooped on them, that seemed a little bit heavy at their size. But it's clear that she's genuinely concerned about her boys, which makes her indifference, and even contempt for the tinies in her house a little disturbing. But her genuine concern and protectiveness of her boys ultimately makes her a good character to the counterbalance the general sociopathy of the girls.
I really hope that Trevor can still be saved as a character. Calvin and Trevor are the 2 most adventureous characters, and killing one or both off would take some of the dynamic out of the story. Even if Calvin lives, he would lose his spark if he loses his brother. And one way the story works in believability as far as the boys are concerned is the idea that they can act as audience perspective characters for the reader, being excited and enthusiastic with a sense of protection. If classmates gruesomely die at the hands of female classmates then the enthusiasm of the boys, which drives the premise of the story, begins to wane. Deaths of popular classmates, especially at the hands of other classmates, can make even cheerful and enthuastic schools, gloomy. Personally, I would like for the boys to maintain their sense of wonder and enthusiasm. Even if the classes were to continue, Trevor's death would suck the enthusiasm out of the boys. For these reasons, I would ask for a consideration of clemency for the character.
It's still not too late to save Trevor, Calvin, and the rest of the boys. At Trevor's small size there should be enough air in Allison's stomach to sustain him for a while. And human stomach acid isn't that strong or fast acting. There was a woman who would swallow baby mice on the internet. During a Q&A she mentioned she could feel the mice moving in her stomach for over an hour before they succumbed to heat and lack of oxygen. There's still time for Ms Johnson or someone outside Allison's cruel circle of friends to come to the rescue. In any event Trevor's not going to pass through Allison. It will be treated as a medical emergency, and Trevor will be extracted even if Miss Johnson has to punch Allison in the duodem to make her throw Trevor up. Won't throw up...here comes the scapel. Even if good characters can't make it in time to save Trevor, they're not just going to let Trevor's body get partly digested and pooped out. How would that look like at a funeral when his body is resized. They are going to make an extraction immediately, ideally with vomiting, surgery if necessary. There was a joke news article about a circus dwarf being swallowed by a circus hippo, and how laxatives were being given to the hippo to retrieve the body. You could tell the article was fake, because even if a hippo could swallow a dwarf, they wouldn't give it laxatives to retrieve a human body, they would immediately cut open the hippo, even if the dwarf was already dead.
If Trevor were to die, then it would be hard to keep the classes going. The enthuasism by the boys, and parent and administrative support for the program would be gone.Trevor and Calvin have parents, friends, and family. This wouldn't be a convict or political prisoner without a family whose dissapearence would be easy to cover up. Parents expect school safety, and schoolboys being sexually abused, hurt, and even killed by classmates would cause a big stink. Hard questions would be asked about school safety, and if the shrinking system is just conditioning school girls to become sadistic killers without consciences, worse than most of the actual convicts. If a classmate dies a death that would be ruled a death by torture, involving torture, sexual humilation, and cannibalism, it could be a worse scandal than any other school murder, and draw unwanted negative attention on the shrinking program, and it's social conditioning. It's hard to believe that Allison and her friends can't recognize the boys that they've been going to school with for a long time, whereas Miss Johnson who hasn't known them as long can recognize them individually and hear them. If Trevor and/or others die then Allison and her sadistic friends, would at the very least be expelled, likely imprisoned, maybe even shrunk themselves, any of which would drag in their parents as well. If Trevor were to die, it would have a huge snowball effect against the program, and make it hard to keep it under wraps. It would be like a gang war. Nobody cares if it's criminals killing each other, but if an innocent bystander like a child gets killed it's front page news and the indifference is now something that people are talking about. Even if the authorities succeed in covering up Trevor's death if he were to die, it would put a severe damper on the program, the classes, Miss Johnson's mood, and the enthusiasm of the surviving boys. Of course, if Trevor is still saved and this becomes a nearly fatal near diaster, rather than a fatal diaster, no major scandal or coverup is necessary, and things can mostly resume as normal for the characters, the learning program, and the story.
If Trevor and the other boys are saved, then Miss Johnson can probably give more of a "scared straight" style of safety class, like a real life version of those deliberately gruesome educational safety films. The safety warning of Alexis showing the little skull of the guy she ate just isn't enough. Miss Johnson could get condemned "volunteers" from her house, and shrink all of her students, maybe even the girls too to teach them some empathy, to show the ugliness and potential danger of what can happen, up close and at scale. She can then force her students to see the condemned die up close at the same size. Making them fall into hot coffee and boil alive, get stepped on, and force the students to see the squished bodies up close, and other macabre potential ways to die. Heck, she can even have the students watch her swallow the condemned alive, along with a lighted camera, so they can watch them slowly suffocate to death inside her. She can even spread her butt cheeks and poop out the remains of the condemned in front of the shrunk class and make them observe the bodies in her poop. Like a darker version of when she went number 2 during the bodily functions lesson. Whatever it takes to show them not to fuck around while shrunk, and show the ugliness of what shrinkees can go through, to teach safety to the boys, and maybe empathy to the girls. Of course, if Trevor dies such a lesson would be in incredibly bad taste. Please let Trevor and the rest of the boys live.
Author's Response:
I agree, Ms. Johnson is such an interesting character. The way she acts, the way she treats her students versus disposables… it really is interesting when you think about it. She’s on this personal mission to educate the next generation of boys so the next generation of girls can have more than just measly disposables to play with and form real relationships with. Even if the students are never shrunken again after this class, they will have learned so much about women that their future partners will be practically begging to say thank you to Ms. Johnson. There will be so much less awkwardness in their relationship and marriage since the boys will have already seen ‘a lot’.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking and going back and forth how Ms. Johnson should interact with tiny disposables. By this point of the story/world I picture her as having been around them so much that they really are just little objects to her. Her work and her friends/coworkers in developing the tech has sort of made her blind towards what happens to them. I would imagine she’s also dealt with a lot of people/criminals who were rude to her and did not respect her (or anyone) in the slightest. So they had their chance at being good people in the world but chose otherwise and now this is their sentence. Plus Ms. Johnson gets horny just like everyone else, so even she (with disposables at her disposable), sometimes wants to let loose. But Ms. Johnson’s experience in losing Todd in Chapter 1 really shaped her view of what personal tinies mean to her and just how important it is to protect those who are “good”. The students for example are both young (so their minds can be moulded) and respectful so she can see the vast amounts of potential in them, and thus wants to protect them with every ounce of her being. Ms. Johnson is a pretty important person in the world so she knows and has seen a lot. Plus she knows a lot of important people. Sometimes accidents and mistakes happen though.
I love the investment in the characters (especially Trevor and Calvin)! That’s one of the hardest things to create as a writer I’m finding. There’s a lot of trial-and-error and trying to map out the complexities of the characters. But I do think there is a lot of benefit in keeping characters alive (though deaths do serve a very important purpose at times). I have no idea who said it, but writing a character alive is a lot harder than it is to kill them off. So I like to think that effort equals quality. I think you’ll end up being pretty satisfied with how I have the story planned out. I think I have the next few chapters laid out in a pretty detailed manner but the second half of the story is still very fluid and changes slightly every day. I have a lot of work to do to try and figure out how each character’s story finishes and the development that each of them (and the world) will go through. One of the best things about this story is that half of my cast is really quite young. So even if they go through a pretty traumatizing experience, their young minds are pretty effective in masking that with the good or arousing points of what happened. Ms. Johnson is pretty smart and can recognize this too. The next few chapters are really going to highlight how the boys have learned some valuable life lessons but how they might be able to move on from there (which I think will be easier and happen faster than one might expect because they’re so young).
So will Trevor survive? Well you’re going to have to read to find out :) Whether or not he does, Ms. Johnson is an interesting character to follow because she had her own traumatic event back in Chapter 1. Wonder how she’ll react to one of her students dying or almost dying. There’s another interesting question that’s kind of hidden in there too. Has a student ever died or been seriously injured at school as part of the shrinking? That question is still in the back of my mind and the answer really could be yes or no. Chapter 1 hinted at Ms. Johnson having a good track record but Alexis also hinted that the student with the worst grade doesn’t exactly fare so well. Fun to think about. Allison is also someone who’s now involved in this because she was the one to swallow Trevor in the first place, thinking that he was just a disposable. Perhaps her view on the world will change a bit too.
Chapter 10 was pretty big and introduced a lot of tough questions. I’ve been sort of working on writing all these questions down so we can answer them before the story is finished haha.
I love all your ideas by the way! Tiny bodies being scattered throughout one’s poop, a very intense demonstration, they’re all fun! Thanks for your review and for being so interested in what I’m writing! I love being poked with questions. Sometimes I’ve got a few secrets stored away that I’m just trying to keep concealed and sometimes there are things that I’ve completely overlooked. I don’t even really consider this to be “my” story. There have been so many interesting suggestions through the comments and from outside this website that have been shaping the story for the better and really adding some important details.
[Report This]Date: May 19 2021 5:18 PM Title: Chapter 10: Part 2
Hello again! :)
Not much of a time past after I wrote my previous review.
WOW! This chapter really drops bomb after bomb. And because of my feelings about death in stories written or prensented on screen, I was frustrated again. I feel that I need to start writing something ASAP... and yet, I want to execute my ideas well, because although I don't have much experience writing, I don't want my work to be badly written. I'll try to write something that is at least slightly better than Reki Kawahara's writing (if it REALLY is as bad, as people say, of course). (Kawahara is the guy who wrote "Sword Art Online", by the way.
This story gives me more and more inspiration.
Moving on to the next topic, I really wonder how men who get disposables treat them. How the proportion of people treating disposables kindly and people treating disposables cruelly differ between men and women (I know the way that tiny criminals are treated is more complicated than that, but I simplified this for the sake of an argument). I personally think the best chance of finding a person that is treating tinies like humans would be among single men, who aren't influenced in any way by their girlfriends/wives, because then don't have their live partners. Other than that, I think that elderly is the best bet.
Last but not least, I will inform that as the story I'm plannning on writing is in the same universe as yours, I would like to contact you about it (just in case, I'm writing that I know how, because I don't want you to repeat yourself) and as my writing will be progressing, consult with any necessary details.
Have a nice week! :)
P.S. As for the country I am from, you're not quite there. I gave at least two hints in my previous reviews. I'll repeat them: I'm from Middle-Eastern Europe and English is not my native language.
Your guess is off the mark, because the only european country that's farther to the West than United Kingdom and Ireland is Iceland. From the comparison of your guess to my second hint I guess you might have thought that I am from some national minority in England, but that's not the case. However, many people of my nation go to England for work, so you were not THAT far off the mark.
I'll give you one, final hint that should make everything obvious: My nation is the current Men's Volleyball World Champion (I'll mention that Volleyball World Championship and Volleyball World Cup are two separate competitions, just in case). And my timezone is UTC+1 (Winter)/UTC +2 (Summer).
I hope you get it right this time! :)
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Rest In Peace, Trevor! [*]
Author's Response:
The best advice that I can give is to just start writing whatever comes to mind. I’ve said it before, but I am certainly not a professional writer. This is the first story I’ve ever written before and I find that once you start writing, you start to figure out what works and what doesn’t. So even if what you write doesn’t turn out well or you don’t like it, that’s okay because you can take that and learn from it. It’s not like you get a failing grade and can never write ever again. I have quite a few “deleted scenes” that I’ve written but ended up not liking so I didn’t publish it. There’s even a lot of what I have published that I would rewrite and change if I ever go back. I’m not in the writing game for money or fame, I do it because I thoroughly enjoy it and it seems like other people do too. One thing that I find helps a lot is to picture the scene or chapter as a movie and play it over and over in your mind. Eventually the characters and scene can almost feel real and alive. Then you can take that “movie” and write about everything you see and everything the characters do. Essentially all I’m doing when I’m writing is trying to put into words what I’m seeing in my imagination. I don’t worry about grammar or spelling or any of that until after I’m all finished, because then I can go back and edit everything.
That’d be really cool if you started to write a spinoff story from this one! Like I said, I’m not in this writing game for the fame, I’m in it for the fun. So feel free to take the world and the concepts that I’ve started and expand on it. My world “playbook” is still pretty small in terms of what I’ve actually published but I’ve got a lot of ideas written down for how I think the world operates. I find this world especially interesting because I think you could look at it from various points in time. So you could look at it just as the shrinking tech is being developed. You could look at the time this story is based in where the tech is still somewhat fresh but people are starting to know more about it. Or you could look further into the future where we’ve learned from trial and error what works, what doesn’t, and what kind of laws have been introduced to help moderate things. I like to think this world is constantly evolving through time and it’s not simply “this is how it is and how it always will be.” I recommend being careful if you end up using some of the characters from this story since I think there will be a fair bit of change by the end of the story. You can definitely reach out to me if you have ideas you want to share. My email is LittleLearningGTS@gmail.com and my discord is AprilMJ#7988. I’ve actually been using Discord a lot lately and that’s where I met my peer reviewer. So Discord might be best.
The relationship between normal sized men and women and what happens when a tiny person gets involved is definitely something I want to explore a bit. Your thinking is very similar to what I had in mind though. I’ve sort of pictured that for most couples, a tiny person almost becomes a “tool” for spicing things up at home. They already have each other so a tiny man is basically just a little toy. Single people are interesting because do they have an interest in normal people, tiny people, or both? And what do they think of tiny people? In my mind I think I have an answer to this that I’m going to try and show through the story but it’s not all brutal and cruel games. That is definitely out there since people do crazy things when they’re aroused, but there are also a lot of really nice people too. For a tiny man, it’s so critically important that you find someone who you can build a deep bond with (both for safety and for love). We’ve spent a lot of time focusing on disposables and how fun they are, but we’re about to start seeing what happens when an owner and a tiny person bond (aka a personal tiny). We got a few hints that Jaimey has one. Perhaps Ms. Johnson has one. Alexis? Maybe, maybe not. Ms. Johnson has started to show signs of bonding with her students. And maybe there’s a lovely couple out there who wants to buy a personal tiny for themselves but simply don’t have the money to do so and instead want a trial run… So getting back to your comment, yes, human desire is probably a huge problem for tinies in this near (for now) lawless world (regarding tiny people), but there are a lot of good people in the world who just want a companion (and if you can build trust with a tiny person, that’s pretty huge, amazing, and can lead to a lot of interesting things). Like imagine you’re tiny with your spouse, girlfriend, best friend, etc. To me at least, I don’t know how they could ever hurt you if the bond between you two is actually true. In my mind they would do everything they could to protect you. Another interesting spinoff story would be what happens if your giant partner decided she was bored with tiny you and wanted to pursue a normal sized man again (a fool she would be to leave a tiny man who loves her lol).
Poland? The Googleable fact helped quite a bit lol. Can’t say I know too much about Poland. I had a coworker who grew up in Poland and she had some pretty interesting stories. I do know that Poland has a really cool landscape and some interesting architecture that kind of takes you back in time to WW2. I’d love to visit Europe someday just because there’s so much history there.
As for little Trevor, his story hasn’t quite come to an end :) I can’t give away all my secrets before you read it though! Take care!
Date: May 17 2021 6:54 PM Title: Chapter 10: Part 2
This chapter was very good, I was not expecting a death, I thought someone would come in and ruin the fun xD
Really wanting to read the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Thanks! I definitely think this chapter would be better if it was read as one long chapter but life always gets in the way haha. In my mind things are happening pretty quickly in the changeroom, so the breaks in between kinda ruin the flow. Might be worthwhile to go back and re-read all three parts together once they're up :) Glad you're enjoying it! I like being able to keep my readers on their toes hehe. There is a method to the madness though. It's always easier to kill a character off than it is to write a good character story, so I'm going to try and make all my deaths very purposeful. Thanks for the comment!
[Report This]Date: May 17 2021 5:47 AM Title: Chapter 10: Part 2
Whoa!
This chapter was insane! We even got a death! I was surprised that Allison didn't want to cough him back up. I thought the girls would try to do that to have another toy. Seems like they already got plenty I guess. Haha!
So, could the boys not communicate to the girls? During Mrs. Johnson's class, the students are able to talk to her and answer her questions, but here, Trevor and Brayden for some reason, couldn't even attempt to speak to the girls. I'm curious what happened there.
Wow, we got a shrunken woman involved. Now that's new. It was sad to see how happy she was in helping Brayden lose his virginity, and that she knows she would likely die if she refused. Damn, that's crazy.
If I was Noah, Gatlin and Brody, I would run back to the classroom, try to enlarge themselves and tell Mrs. Johnson about it. Sure she might punish them for shrinking and entering the girl's change room, but the issue with Trevor dying, Calvin getting captured by Allison, and Brayden getting offered to Mrs. Hulme seems much more significant.
Trevor dying alone should be enough to make Mrs. Johnson want to punish the girls. Holy shit, her student just died to these girls. I don't think she will take that lightly. I expect her to punish them somehow, especially Allison since she was in charge. Also, Mrs. Johnson could take back Calvin from her. Idk about Brayden since Mrs. Hulme might keep him.
Who is Mrs. Hulme anyway? Have we met her? I love giantess teachers, so I got high hopes for her. The way the girls described her made me excited. They even said he needed luck with her. Damn. Imagine getting mistaken for a human dildo and then you get offered to a horny teacher. That sounds erotic and terrifying at the same time and I love it!
Part 1 and 2 were amazing and I can't wait for part 3!
Author's Response:
Indeed we did! It's amazing what a little peer pressure and peer reassurance can do to someone :) As excited as the girls are, they're definitely thinking in the present and not exactly planning for the future. It's sort of an interesting dynamic I have pictured between disposables and personals. Disposables are kinda like bugs. They're cool to look at and maybe keep for a little while, but because there is no personal bond there, they don't really serve a purpose other than being some temporary fun.
Lol yeah that is a pretty glaring void isn't it. In my mind I was totally picturing the boys just being silenced by the girls whenever they would even think about speaking and/or the girls just not believing a word they say since they've dealt with disposables in the past who have tried to talk their way out of... interesting scenarios. I added a few extra lines to point this out. Sometimes it's hard to remember it all lol. Thanks :)
Happy is an interesting word. I tweaked that scene just a little wee bit since I wasn't really picturing her as being particularly happy. Desperate would be a better word I think. Happy in a way because Brayden doesn't seem like a bad dude and they're just in it together at that point but disappointed because she doesn't really have a choice. Thought that was an interesting scene though and makes you think. Raises the question of, "if you were in that situation, would you do it or would you accept death?" It's an intriguing scenario considering she's a pretty beautiful woman and Brayden (like most/all teen boys) have spent the last few years of his life dreaming of being a situation like that. Candice will return.
Ms. Johnson is definitely in for a surprise. I haven't completely decided how I want the post changeroom scenes to play out but I have a lot of different ideas that eventually come back to the same place. We'll see if I can pay everything off :) It's a tricky thing because on one hand the girls are just playing with disposables like they've done before. Like Ms. Johnson has done before. But at the same time, exactly, those are her students and there are people who have put a lot of trust in her. Ms. Johnson has her ways of fixing things though. She's very resourceful and has a lot of friends in high places. How the boys can help each other is also an interesting question that I spent a lot of time thinking about. Cause sure they ate Trevor and nearly crushed Calvin, but they don't really seem all that violent and sadistic. So I've pictured that the boys have a constant push and pull between wanting to jump in and help (like Trevor did) and flee. A lot of it is also just panic and not being able to think straight since things have gone so far down hill. All they wanted to do initially was take a few pictures.
Mrs. Hulme is gonna be quite the woman. We haven't met her yet though. Similar to Ms. Johnson yet much different. I have high hopes for her too. Brayden will truly need all the luck he can get. I'm fully expecting her chapter to get some mixed reviews but the idea I've based that chapter on will probably be isolated to just that chapter (maybe one other). Who knows, maybe it'll be a hit haha. She may or may not have a long term future in the story. I actually have it in my notes that she may be a candidate for a future spinoff story. I have so many ideas for spinoff stories based on people and things we've already seen haha.
Glad you're enjoying this chapter! There's a lot going on and it's a big scene so I hope I'm doing it justice. There are a few things I might do differently if I were to rewrite everything but all my core ideas are taking shape :) Still a whole lot more to go though. Thanks for the reviews!