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Reviewer: ozoris Signed [Report This]
Date: July 15 2019 3:25 AM Title: Chapter 15: Injection Therapy

First excuse me for my weak language But I would like to thank you for this wonderful story that is unprecedented I hope you will be more faster in writing because we are waiting for you eagerly I also wish you to write several parts about Becca and the little man who lives in her ass and tells us about his daily suffering with her

i also wish Becca train him how to lick her asshole how to inhale her farts ..... 

Reviewer: el_rooto Signed [Report This]
Date: July 12 2019 2:37 PM Title: Chapter 15: Injection Therapy

That “get-back-to-Mom’s-butt-anyway-he-can” mode is iirc the second time I noticed a damn good addition to the original without carefully comparing the two versions (which I will do sometime before I die) - please do expand about it if you really mean to write something about Lori, or have Lori mention it to someone who's not there yet, orcompare Becca, or are you still reading I wonder :)

 

With that out of the way... I demand one more extra chapter of course!

Reviewer: el_rooto Signed [Report This]
Date: July 01 2019 2:26 PM Title: Becca's RR Journal: Day 34 (EXTRA)

It may not be a good fit for the story, as well as potentially being a pita to write, but the more I think about it the more I believe Becca should read him those pages from her journal, there's potential for a lot of stuff:

- show him progress about the experiment that he's part of

- show him she really thinks about him sooo much, isn''t he lucky?

- ask him if he likes it/agrees; maybe explain to him what happened to his $$

- put him back :)

Reviewer: el_rooto Signed [Report This]
Date: July 01 2019 6:01 AM Title: Becca's RR Journal: Day 34 (EXTRA)

Wow, I wasn't expecting an extra... found someone then?

 

For some reason my mind is still thinking about the previous chapter, the idea of looking for his family got me thinking about either knowing a tiny (say, bf/gf entering the experiment for the money) or finding out later that "wait, I know that tiny guy!", so I've been thinking about all possible variations on the subject.

 

Wholesome Becca is the best Becca!

 

Reviewer: el_rooto Signed [Report This]
Date: July 01 2019 5:53 AM Title: Chapter 14: Bank Trips

I'll admit I planned to carefully compare both version but I still haven't got around to it... anyway the last paragraph is the first time when I noticed a good addition (tracking down his family), so good job!

Reviewer: teradonk Signed [Report This]
Date: June 30 2019 7:23 PM Title: Becca's RR Journal: Day 34 (EXTRA)

her journal consists of the lyrics to a Bangles song?



Author's Response:

Her jounal is only what you will find at the provided link. 

 

I needed to add text to meet the minimum word length for a post, so I thought it fitting to put song lyrics to the song Becca listened to on her and the subject's first morning. 

Reviewer: stargate1990 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: May 31 2019 8:30 PM Title: Chapter 12: Home

Exactly the kind of tiny I wished for, AMAZING!

Reviewer: teradonk Signed [Report This]
Date: May 25 2019 2:09 PM Title: They Pay...A lot

great story. got my heart beating when becca panics after doing her business, wondering if the tiny was in buttplace for that. im one of those weirdos who hopes she forgets, but in this experiment program, of course there are women who forget. and there may even be women who don't forget, and do it because they want to...

 

wonder what kind lori is . . .

Reviewer: spaceranger123 Signed [Report This]
Date: May 25 2019 7:00 AM Title: Chapter 12: Home

after the Lori chapters, this one is second best!

Reviewer: ThickThighsSaveLives Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: May 22 2019 4:22 AM Title: They Pay...A lot

Cute story so far - I appreciate the attention to detail when it comes to the location. It might not matter for everyone, but I like that there's an actual Skillman Street near Pratt and a pub nearby! And of course, can't ignore the kinkier aspects; I'm very interested to see where this concept of guys staying in girls' butts goes, and I appreciated that detailed little paragraph at the end about Becca's booty, for sure~ Oh, and speaking of Becca, I'm enjoying the characters, as well! Both are pretty believable while still being interesting to listen to, and their reaction to the odd situation was a good balance between enough incredulity to make it feel real, while not letting them quite brush it off as easily as you might in real life. The little bits of joking between them were also fun and helped keep them feeling like actual friends.

Reviewer: el_rooto Signed [Report This]
Date: May 12 2019 2:29 PM Title: Chapter 10: Going Home (Part 1 of 2)

My bad, as a programmer when I write "editor" I really mean "programming editor", it seems that word doesn't have an obvious way to do it. Sorry :)

Some (eg https://word.tips.net/T001500_Automatically_Formatting_Text_within_Quotes.html) suggest using macros, but I can't try any of their suggestions because I don't have Office.

 

Or, a very easy solution is just to try any small programming editor, see eg the suggestion at https://stackoverflow.com/questions/42656246/notepad-how-to-set-a-different-text-color-for-text-inside-double-quotes-for-us - it would basically require to copy&paste your word document into it and give it a look, but there's no need to torture word to do something it wasn't designed to do.

An alternative to writing your own mini-language of course would be to try an existing language ("hello editor, this isn't a story, it's actually, ehm, C++/perl/lua/whatever") and see if anything does more or less what you want - if you stick to plain quotes, "like this", just about any language will highlight quoted text to make them stand out.

 

(I'm writing the suggestion here in case anyone has a better idea)

Reviewer: el_rooto Signed [Report This]
Date: May 10 2019 9:23 AM Title: Chapter 10: Going Home (Part 1 of 2)

Since you're on a correcting spree (no more "beedf"?), use the computer to do the boring work as much as possible! eg there's an extra quote somewhere in this chapter that would look obvious under anything that renders quoted text in a different color...

 

A few sparse notes:

  • the mention of "proper food" imho worked nicely, gave that "wtf?" feeling that kept me waiting for a clarification
  • "and it wouldn’t be until later on that Becca remembered that Dr. Walker didn’t specify which of the two questions she asked" imho breaks the rythm, and also Dr. Walker isn't the one asking questions

PS

I haven't carefully compared the current version to what it was when you started correcting, that's why I've only pointed out things I didn't like - it's not like I remember every typo etc by heart, keep going! :D



Author's Response:

...there are ways to render quoted text a different color...?  Can you email me and tell me how cause I searched for ways to do it through Word just now but didn't find anything. WEDGEDBETWEENTHEM@yahoo.com

 

Thanks a lot for the great feedback.  Its funny cause I kind of struggled with adding this bit of information as I thought it had to be pointed out that Dr. Walker dodged the question. Since I'm trying very hard to avoid writing anything from an omnipotent perspective, and since Becca wouldn't realize in that moment that she avoided the question, it has to be addressed as a brief flash forward.  As I read it now though, it's definitely a bit jarring, if for no other reason than the length of the sentence and the confusion of the asker and answerer.  I'll rephrase it, thanks!

Reviewer: barabba9000 Signed [Report This]
Date: May 03 2019 6:11 AM Title: They Pay...A lot

you are the only one who would be able to write down a story about thousands of people living in a girl's shoe. Check out the story 'jennifer's losers' something similar, but as a writer, you are way better. Hope to see this as your next project, after this story. Let me know. 

 

 

Pleasee

Reviewer: spaceranger123 Signed [Report This]
Date: April 29 2019 1:38 PM Title: R&R Lab (Part 1 of 2)

it would be great if the author did a spin off with Lori's character during this time period, or set in the past or present. its clear myself and many others are big fans of said character, more so then Becca!

Reviewer: el_rooto Signed [Report This]
Date: April 29 2019 5:45 AM Title: R&R Lab (Part 1 of 2)

The Lori-calipse is back :D

Reviewer: johnsmith10992 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 28 2019 4:56 PM Title: R&R Lab (Part 1 of 2)

Please more of Lori!

Reviewer: el_rooto Signed [Report This]
Date: April 15 2019 9:15 AM Title: A Phone Call

Do expect a smaller number of reviews - anyone who left a review about the first version will need to compare to the original to write something meaningful :D

 

Which reminds me, if you don't use a vcs for professional reasons, have a look at https://cstheory.stackexchange.com/questions/2934/version-control-for-collaboration-with-word-level-diffs and (easier) https://www.mercurial-scm.org/wiki/WordDiff -- imho fossil would be way easier, but any of these things is INVALUABLE if you're writing stuff, making changes, different experiments etc; the two links above show how to configure the two most popular options to show word differences instead of entire lines (a good default for programming, horrible for writers unless you structure your writing around it).

 

Or just ignore the above, whichever makes your life easier :D



Author's Response:

Oh yeah, it isnt really about reviews; its more about addressing the insane amount of errors and typos in the original story.  I've never heard of those but i'll definitely check it out thanks!

Reviewer: Stepbonk Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 13 2019 10:39 AM Title: They Pay...A lot

I'm not much of a butt person, but the concept certainly seems like a terrific way to demean and humiliate arrogant men. Personally I'm a foot and flip flops kind of guy, so I'd love to see more interaction along those lines. In my opinion there should be more interaction in general, the guys should be shrunk slowly in stages and toyed with just to humiliate them that much more.

 

The move towards varying sizes and shrinking people to less than a nanometer was awesome, especially when some of them ended up on Doctor Walker's continent-sized pedicured toenail! Personally I think what would make much more sense than just injecting microscopic people into butts would be to construct mini domed biospheres with their own gravity, food and oxygen supplies, shrink down entire communities of men to microbes and place them inside, then shrink the biospheres even more and stuff them wherever. To survive at larger sizes, I would just equip them with some kind of self-sustaining mechanical suit. I also kind of disagree with the idea of making people respond differently to the shrinking tech, rather it would make more sense to me if it simply malfunctioned from time to time and left people and objects or entire communities slowly shrinking away to oblivion. I don't see why precision would be an issue, because you could always put shrunken people in a container and shrink them further along with the container, and repeat ad infinitum to make them as small as desired.

 

Anyhow those are just my personal thoughts and might not mesh with your reasons for doing things a certain way, but regardless of the methodology, I'd definitely like to see more foot stuff especially with Becca and her flip flops, and more interaction with the victims as they shrink, like dominating them at child size and taunting them about their inevitable fates. They should give Becca a shrink ray of her own to help collect specimens, and hopefully Dr. Walker might also consider doing a side project seeing how men stand up to being various sizes on and around women's feet, decorating their toes like rings or their toenails like gemstones and sparkles, gluing microscopic communities to various places on flip flops and toe rings to see how they fare over time... Maybe Becca can track down an ex-boyfriend and make him and his buddies worship her feet while she keeps gradually making them smaller and smaller and smaller, until they're nothing but specks on her soles and toes, left by one final zap dwindling away to nothing while Krystal's skyscraper-sized fingers massage and knead them.

 

Well that's my 50 cents, hopefully others will give their input and encourage you to keep writing.

Reviewer: spaceranger123 Signed [Report This]
Date: March 25 2019 4:37 PM Title: They Pay...A lot

write more when?

Reviewer: barabba9000 Signed [Report This]
Date: February 02 2019 8:01 AM Title: They Pay...A lot

you are the only one who would be able to write down a story about thousands of people living in a girl's shoe. Check out the story 'jennifer's losers' something similar, but as a writer, you are way better. Hope to see this as your next project, after this story. Let me know. 

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