Date: October 17 2018 3:34 PM Title: Chp. 1: High Strangeness
I am shocked that this story has no reviews yet. The amount of people that do leave reviews on this website is disgustingly low. With that said, what do I think?
Overall first impressions are good. This chapter has left me wanting more from the story. In particular, I want to know what the “order” (you never actually referred to it as a cult but I get that feeling) is trying to achieve and why it exists/
The start of the story was bit mysterious and I think it worked. I would hope that we get some explanation as to why the humans are in that box and some information as to why Abel got picked. Of course, there’s something I could be missing – in which case I’d need to go back back re-read the chapter.
You have claimed that you have done a lot of world building, and I like the sound of that. Too many stories don’t have much forethought. Many are open ended and can continue for a long as the author isn’t bored of writing them, or they remain popular – kind like a television or radio soap opera. I am getting “good vibes” from this story but I’ll need to wait and see as it may be too early to come to a truly informed conclusion.
The use of masks is somewhat unique for this story, and is fascinating. It’s something that I’ve toyed with before, for a variety of reasons. The reason that masks are worn is due to the organization correct? In my capacity as a reader, I am rather eager to find out more about this entity. What where the motives behind the ceremony?
The story flows nicely and any formatting issues, I assume, are due to Giantess World and not yourself. The only gripe, if one can call it that, is that things often appear described matter-of-factly. That awe an adrenaline that Abel must surely be feeling doesn’t necessarily come across. I know I said all of those nice things and then I close on a bad note. You have an exciting set-up, it’s just about how you convey it. The local town crier could be delivering the most important message ever, but if this person cannot speak with confidence then the message is lost amongst the hustle and bustle (which in this analogy would be the stories of others).