[Report This]Date: September 18 2018 11:14 PM Title: Chapter 4
I wanted to mention also that I like the references to people being accidentally crushed in various accidents, it helps establish that the shrunken people are truly vulnerable at their reduced sizes and not just easy to toss around. More background details and news clips like that, or even brief segues into completely different settings, would help establish the universe in which your story takes place, without requiring Jill and Rachel to do everything themselves. Maybe a woman somewhere manages to steal some restricted tech and rampages at miles tall, maybe an entire city gets shrunk again and again until it's too small to see as someone smothers it underfoot. Maybe someone steals a ray gun that grows with her and both things happen at once! Or something a little more mundane, a local perv gets caught at mouse size spying on his neighbours.
I'm all for multisize, glad you are too! How awesome would it be to rub and suck a giant girl's toes when you're shrunk to 3 or 4 feet tall and slowly getting smaller, while she threatens to make you tinier than a virus. Definitely I agree your story needs more feet, also I suggest more flip flops, anklets, toe rings, foot tats and artistic toenails. Toe rings would be great to explore just like sandals, and it would be awesome to watch the gemstones on someone's pedicure expanding from pebbles to skyscrapers.
I'm personally very picky about shrinking mechanics, for me it can make or break a story insofar as my ability to really get into it. I think the projector concept you have here works great, I can almost imagine it being a real thing in the near future. If you wanted to make something super crazy tiny, you could always shrink it first and then encase it in something else which gets shrunk next, over and over as needed. Or you could grow a sandal to the size of a car and place a micro man on top before slowly shrinking it back down while the owner stands on top. If the projector has some kind of delay mode then it could just zap things and let them gradually dwindle to whatever size, perhaps even without limit in case of a severe malfunction.
I'm excited to see what you come up with next, and I love the way you take your time building up the story and characters. Hopefully I've given you some ideas to think about in case you run into a block, otherwise please keep up the terrific work!
Author's Response: Wow! It sounds like you have a lot of story ideas! You should try writing some of this. I'd be interested to see what you come up with. It sounds like whatever you wound up writing would be right up my alley!
[Report This]Date: September 16 2018 1:38 AM Title: Chapter 4
Yes, there isn't enough foot stuff. That's because the chapters are too short. There is simply room for more feet. And like that crushing scene, it's sometimes over so fast
And luckily it seems that their boss is a bit more into feet.
It's a good story and thanks for writing!
Author's Response: There will definitely be longer chapters, devoted to feet of course. That almost goes without saying. The crush scene in the most recent chapter was supposed to be a news broadcast, because of that, it was shorter and more to the point. I try to keep it slightly realistic. Although, discussing this makes me wonder what it would be like for the police when they are investigating a crush fatality. That could be an interesting chapter. CSI, giantess style!
[Report This]Date: September 14 2018 8:34 PM Title: Chapter 4
A fourth story eh? All this talk of not getting stepped on or squashed, makes me want to see that happen more. Curious as to if and how tha could happen though.
Author's Response: Oh trust me, it can happen. ;)