Date: September 30 2018 1:40 AM Title: The Pizza
I NEED more. The suspense is perfect. Her will is something you don't see in most stories. It either doesn't cut it or doesn't matter. My one critique is that is too small for the story to go super far with being tiny. Why not have a means where she gets a little bit bigger? Some hiccup in the attack?
Date: August 02 2018 10:17 PM Title: The Pizza
Very good chapter! Love how Emily is looking right at Devyn but misses her and does not hear her screams. Does Emily realize that Devyn shrank? Or does she forget about her completely?? Very good start. Would love to see more unaware stuff especially if Emily happens to come back into the picture.