Reviewer: DarkStarGoddess Signed [Report This]
Date: November 09 2018 4:38 AM Title: Chapter Thirteen

I'm glad you liked my first review!  Because I feel I will have to be a little more negative with this one.  One review already mentioned the lack of certain tags which... I suppose that is hard to say either way, but I definitely felt like I was reading a different sort of story than what I signed up for originally.

 

But mostly I need to go back to what I mentioned about having victories for the small characters.  I get what you are going for, a well of despair and a dark story, but I think this chapter took it to a worse degree: put bluntly Candi was killed off so fast it feels like she had no point being in the story, and it feels like my time was a bit wasted.  Like you threw the character away so quickly, it makes her buildup as an actual threat, or just anything, feel even more pointless.  Erin was also not really used much at all during her time as a small girl; she spent most of her chapters tied up and largely speechless only to become a plot device that gets discarded in this chapter.  We lost two really interesting characters and I do not really see what for... to make us hate Mel?  We already do, she's pretty insufferable.  It just makes me as a reader wonder why I got invested in these characters if they could be expended so easily without really doing much or using their interesting traits.

 

Really this chapter does not move the story forward much at all, and it makes the deaths in this chapter feel unearned and cheap.  The chapter just seems to want to revel in how evil Mel is, which I as a reader do not need because we already have plenty of that.  The story felt like it took a backseat here, especially with the more sexual/fetish material in the chapter.

 

The only bit that really felt like like it progressed the plot to an extent was the choice at the end, though again it felt unearned, darkered than what the story originally proposed, and... I know you said she has a weird way of showing affection and all, but it feels like she hates Adrian and is trying to torment her.  Like, there's being tone deaf, and there's forcing your crush to kill someone.  It just feels so incongruent with how we are told Mel feels for her.

 

Also... why didn't Adrian threaten to kill herself?  She has like the ultimate bargaining chip in her hand... if Mel really feels as she does threats of self harm should have at least like... come up, but maybe that is just me.

 

You wwanted to see how long readers would think this could go on for, but as generous of a goddess as I am it's more how long it can go for before I lose interest.  Having a dark, depressing story is fine if it is what you want, but it is not always what someone wants to read.  It's kind of like an art film; if you have your vision then that is important, but intentionally unbalanced storytelling may alienate audiences.

 

Sorry if I seem a tad harsh, it's not to be mean; honestly if I do not like a story I simply do not review it, but it's because this one is so well written and has so much potential, and has been pretty good minus some frustrations, that I want to speak my mind on it.  I also do not think you should change your vision to suit anyone else, I have tried that and it leads to issues, BUT I want you to know my thoughts as a reader in case you are interested in them.  Also I might not be the exact target because I am not reading this story for sexual fulfillment like AT ALL, I'm reading almost purely for the narraive (and hopes of F/f affection), so I understand my opinions might be different.

 

On the good side the chapter was well written and you avoided a lot of cliches with writing the vore segment which is good for you and other readers.  I thought the little bit with Mel's nose was a neat touch too.

 

I look forward to seeing what happens next!  Shrinking a detective should have some massive reprecussions that should be interesting to see, and seems like we will be seeing some more character develoment for Adrian, should be a good read!

Author's Response:

I'm always down for the more critical reviews! It's like I get to open up my readers' brains and get to see what's going on...

I apologize that the turn this story has taken is not to your liking. I do sympathize to an extent, I don't think the average giantess story keeps itself this thematically attached to despair. However, my story is more than just an appeal to a giantess infatuation. It's a direct appeal as well to yandere and that entire aesthetic. A crazy girl that just can't be stopped, an obsessed maniac that only seems to be spiraling into darkness. To a reader like yourself, it may seem that I'm just dragging on with this detail, that Melanie is "very evil." However, that is very much the exact purpose of this story. The charm of Melanie is that she doesn't stop, and even when you think you understand her limits, she will gleefully surpass that expectation.

This is why I killed Erin and Candi. The expectation is that they must be fairly safe, for so many reasons. They're the newest characters of the cast, Erin's curse became unique, and Candi has a special background. These details separate them from the others, who a reader would think is closer to an expiration date. Disobeying those expectations is exactly what I wanted. To Melanie, these people are not "characters" that serve her a narrative purpose. These two especially were enemies, threats to her one way or another, and she had no mercy in regards to disposing of them. It was my intention that you would become attached to these characters, only for them to be insultingly eliminated by Melanie.

I'm a little unsure what you mean by "darker than what the story originally proposed." On a meta level, I did begin the story with a note that this is a love letter to yanderes, which is a dark theme inherently. Perhaps we disagree here, but I don't think I've proposed anything lighter than what I've written. A dark story that gets darker and darker. That's what's happening. But, this feedback does help me! It's something I can keep in mind for future projects, at the very least.

Adrian is more complicated a character than I think people may get the impression... I feel I could always write her better, but I don't want to give away too much of who she is too blatantly. There's a lot of story to still have her develop in! I don't want to give away too much too quickly. In regards to using her life as a bargaining chip, the best answer I can really give is that she's too altruistic for that "opt out." She doesn't want to die, of course, and she knows enough too that killing herself wouldn't actually save Erin or anyone else. Melanie will still exist with or without her. Furthermore, suicide is pretty diffcult for someone that tiny! I mean, she could throw herself off the desk, but in the moment like in the last chapter, how could she without being caught mid-fall? Suicide realistically isn't a threat she can idly make, nor is it one she wants to commit to. I sort of wanted to use Scarlet to touch on this subject, actually, but I see that perhaps the message wasn't connected properly.

Haha, of course this story is not for everyone! I don't expect everyone to like it, or for everyone to like 100% of it. As you said, this is my story, and it will be written the way I want. This is the story I wanted to write, this is the story I wanted to share. Fear not that you might come off as mean or overly negative! In fact, this response and others like it prove to me that I'm accomplishing what I sent myself out to do, to write a story that gets under people's skin, one way or another. If that sensation is dismissed as poor writing, that's a wound I'm willing to take.

Again, thank you for all this feedback! I hope you enjoy the next chapter and those beyond.

Reviewer: GhostWriter44 Signed [Report This]
Date: November 06 2018 3:15 PM Title: Chapter Thirteen

Yes!!! This was everything I had been waiting for from this story! Definitely my favorite chapter of a giantess story ever!!! Thank you so much for delivering us this pure masterpiece. It’s disheartening to see so many want Melanie to finally get hers (as I’m not a fan of that in these kind of stories, but to each their own lol. I really hope you don’t go that route but I also know you gotta appease the majority and yourself). Hope you continue to turn the notch up on this story, which you seem to do after every chapter somehow! I can’t thank you enough for how awesome this chapter was and how perfect this story is as a whole. Can’t wait to see what torment Melanie dishes out, to her toys she has now and any newcomers that she may gather up!

Author's Response:

Thank you for the review! Indeed, the intensity keeps getting dialed up, doesn't it? But for now, I'm letting there be a bit of a breather while the story bridges into the next arc. Let it be known, though, the craziness isn't over just yet! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story~