Reviewer: camehere2 Signed [Report This]
Date: May 13 2018 4:42 AM Title: Chapter 3

can't wait for the next, this one was again so good. I liked the toilet one so far the most, I love scat just the most hope to see more of it. as for this chapter the best part was how the fly boy was like please help me someone help me and then like answering his screams the stomach made gurgle noises, that was awesome. maybe do it again, but for a scat idea. I could see some guy losing it like no NO this can't be happening please don't, please help me... and then like answering him, an anus opens up to begin to shit in his mouth. and then add like the boy above just texting or yawn. I also thought of what if the cakes he turned long time ago into lol. the talk in the end of chapter 3 is still so good. and I also liked in the fly one, how he told him but if I leave and come back, you're just a normal fly to me. totally amazing chapter.

Reviewer: adamnight Signed [Report This]
Date: April 04 2018 1:47 PM Title: Chapter 3

Your new story is wonderful. The cruelnes is amazing of the main protagonost, hope he stays like this. I love characters who dont give a shit, and this chapter 3 with the toilet tf was so perfect for it. Violent and cruel combined with unaware, and scat, so worth it. Hope to see more really dirty stuff combined with those teenagers talk dirty and dont have a clue, and Ashley knows. I loved how he was like nothing but a good dump, and the shit parts. Hope to see more of them be like, I have to take a shit, that is so mind play and amazing, if you think of the guy hearing it and screaming, epecially if its a male taking a shit in his mouth.

Reviewer: mikeesan Signed [Report This]
Date: March 23 2018 9:53 AM Title: Chapter 3

So happy you liked the review : ) what you think of the flesh light idea, and maybe using it over multiple chapters, and then with this horrible end for it and it ends as a toilet fessle and then in the waste. Another cruel would totally be this fruit fly idea, then also maybe someone ends as Phils anus. And also maybe one as his underpants and them are totally tight and going all in his arse, when they are soaked, and some ironic accident happens, so he would use the pants as a tissue to wipe off his dick clean after he used his flesh light, and the pants rott away under his bed for weeks, then maybe he throws them in the waste. For the mind control idea. Imagine a typical college party, all boys, and they have booked a stripper escort, who would of coursr give blowjobs and end in bed with the quaterback mostly, and this guy maybe is a friend of Phil, or hes from the opposite team, this is is also a good idea for the blow up doll. Then Ashley could whisper into the "escorts" ears at some point, I know youre in there and can hear me, with a cocky smile. And the horror inside the "girls" mind, cant say anything, nonoNO you know? Whats going on?? HEELP ME!! But he has to act as the escort he became, meaning he would from now on be the escort of course, and live her life including every day working as a escort, giving sex to men. Imagine an ironic part, where this guy was in the beginning, talking rude about girls, maybe in the school class, and be like I need some pussy, I have blue balls, his friends laughing, and he makes some rude comment on Ashley or his female friend, and so he turns him into an escort, and ironically later he is booked for a friday night party on campus, and Phil and the guys be like Ashley you want to come, it will be fun. Imagine this guy then would have to give Ashley a blowjob, Ashley sitting with PHil and co around, and he whispers some cruel things to the escorts ears, so you had blue balls huh, dont be afraid, I have them too, go ahead, I like getting blowjobs. And Phil making some funny remark about Ashely be the "man" in the round. And Phil and his friends would then of course take action too, wanting to have some fun from the escort, they paid for the night to come. Maybe them also be like, hey, where is (guys name who was turned into the escort, didnt he say he had blue balls, why isnt he here), dude whatever, more fun for us, right.

Reviewer: mikeesan Signed [Report This]
Date: March 23 2018 7:54 AM Title: Chapter 3

I got this idea because of your sex scnene and it would add another fm plot. What if you maybe turn a boy into a girl and manipulate him so he has to act like a girl, but in his brain he is still himself, and he screams inside, so he would give some boy a blowjob, and totally act like he is a girl, but gags and screams in his mind. Of the pulsating penis in front of him, totally in shock, he was a boy, he wasnt gay, no this cant be happening he wasnt a fag... totally in shock seeing the penis getting hard, and he feels like throwing up... and then even a precum leaks of the head, and he holds a hand in front of his mouth in disgust. I think thats a really cruel idea. Especially if its a straight jock. and then also the boy is totally unaware. what if phil and his friends have a jock party and they book an escort/hooker, who woul give them blowjobs and also would be fuckable, but it is not an escort, it is some guy who is turned into it, and he is crying inside his body, literally seeing himself act like he was a hooker, maybe even not properly speaking english, like an espanic girl. and the boys make fun about how the escort is not smart, and ignore "her", and just sit on a chair with their soft dicks and them be like come, get it babe, look shes wet, I saw her flash her pussy and nasty talk like it. and then als him giving drugs or alcohol, and he wakes up the next morning, in a bed, not knowing where he was from last night. but then he feels some pulsation, and it was a boy sleeping next to "her" with his dick in his vagina, and he gets the shock of his life, running to the bathroom and puke his stomach out. and the boy just comes in and sits on the toilet, taking a dump, and be like, thanks for the night babe, it was decent. I think it's really cruel to turn a straight jock into a girl, and his penis gone and he would have a pussy, and he would give boys blowjobs, maybe even being deep throated, and he couldnt do anything about it.

For this flesh light idea, I think even more ironic would be if it looks like this with a mouth: 

https://i.imgur.com/KMmu8pn.png

Imagine some talk how Phil would be gross, it has a mouth, it loosk soo gay laughing, but a mouth is a mouth Ashley says with a jokeing way. Yeah, I guess, thanks for the gift, I will totally try it out later.

Author's Response:

I wasn't sure if anyone liked the mind control or the warping of someone's mind to behave diffferntly like in 'The Wraith of Sammy'

Reviewer: camehere2 Signed [Report This]
Date: March 22 2018 6:44 AM Title: Chapter 3

perfect chaper3... I had such a laugh at the nothing nothing like taking a good dump part, then the ewwww, and then the dry, what? you're acting like you didn't take a shit this morning... !!! and the best line ever It felt like my anus threw up. And the girls making a sour face, and be like... same, and the other just saying nothing, totally saying everything... ! Maybe the silent girl had the most horrible shit of them all. Wonder how big Ashelys was. this talk is like creatng a scene in someones mind, and let you just think about what tucker went through and will on going. more of this pls! I cannot think of something more intense.

Reviewer: mikeesan Signed [Report This]
Date: March 22 2018 2:32 AM Title: Chapter 3

I have no idea how to start or where to begin, this is your darkest one you did here and the sammy one I think, I absolutely love it, please continue like it. It cant get cruel enough for me. I absolutely love everything in this chapter. But it is not just the most darkest, it is also your lognest I think, the best plot, the longest plot the most deep characters (I loved the talk of the characters, you have this incredile talent of creating a realistic plot, you are an incredible author...). I hope to see more party plots like this, it is a college right, dorm parties like this happen mostly every Friday.

There are so many examples I found incredible, I would need a marker to mark them all and speak about every single one, sigh. I wish I could just hug you for hours so you know how much I LOVE this chapter.

Oh that horrible fantastic irony, of the 'that pretty little ass of your' in the intro, and than in the ending... I love it when you do this, this is already such a great sign of a great author, connecting plots and making them logic, and have some little part the reader will remember and then be like FUUCK, this is so AWESOME now after I read the chapter. I always loved these ironic parts so much, for example in the popcorn chapter, with those lines like 'I dont want it to go to WASTE' HA. And now I imagine Ashely also as this kind of skinny as fuck kid, with a little skinny ass, maybe like Yugi from Yugioh, something like this, wearing tight a fuck black or gray jeans:

https://i.imgur.com/VmjQmif.jpg 

That ARSE!! And because of this skinny jeans, he might look like a girl maybe from behind, haha, this is so ironic and pure awesome, I love it.

AND I love how you created Ashely SO differently from Sammy. I loved Sammy, you know this, but Ashely I also love maybe even more already. Because he has a large ego, and he is some how totally sadistic towards shitty people or just random, he doesnt 'give a shit about' LITERALLY. How he reacted to this rude customer was the best example. Sammy maybe would start to cry, but Ashely was just pissed and moody, didnt show it much to the customer (or he didnt get his ironic remark) I LOVE this so MUCH, please continue like that. AAAAAND, here comes a HUGH turn of for me: How he uses these teen slang words like 'meh, duh' SO GOOD! The part here: 

"W-w-what..." Tucker said shocked more than anything else. "You can understand me?""Duh," Ashely told.

The idea with the 7 years instead of the guy thinking, thanks god, 7 days... one of the best things you ever came up with, SO ironic, and SO fitting, I love how cruel Ashely reacted there, not much emotions, how he just was like duh... then also just looking down into the toilet with no words, this horrible long silence. Then just this sentence: "Now," Ashely said pulling down his underwear and presenting his ass to Tucker. "get ready for my pretty little ass, just like you wanted." pure horror so hot. And it comes back to the intro part, with the 'pretty little ass'. So sad you skipped him taking that shit, but I am sure there is lots of more to come in upcoming chapters.

Oh this EPIC ironic remark afterwars but of him be like 

Ashely walked out the bathroom, "Nothing like taking a good dump."
SSSOO HOT, please let him talk like this more, so dirty and just vuglar I love it. And how you made it continue of the girls reacting

"Eww," Clair said. "that's disgusting.""What? You're acting like you didn't take a shit this morning.""I mean..." Clair started."It felt like my anus threw up," Monica said as she didn't seem to hide what happen to her."Same," Debbie replied.Clair didn't say anything but Ashely knew for a fact that she did too.

The idea with the toilet seat breaking of two having sex in the bathroom... EPIC, and SO HOOT. I am sorry I am jumping around but my mind is like 220mph racing right now. All the dirty talk, for example nope I dont have a condom, and give it me in the ass... and then

"Come on," Debbie said getting her clothes on."Don't you want to," Zach said nodding his head toward the toilet."I'm tired, in the morning," Debbie said almost falling down from the intense sex and the amount of alcohol in her system.

You did it just perfectly of the conversations in this chapter. And please let me say, I think this chapter is the best you wrote ever, you literally learned to evolve and put all into this chapter to make it all even better. I was already such a fan of your work in the Sammy plot, but this is now on a new level.

Then Phil ... thank you so much for introducing him as a football player and him being the captain and quaterback of the team, I love how he is all friendly actually towards Ashely, please dont make Phil transform, he has to stay one of the shielded characters, him, Ashely, Frank, and the girls. I want them stay the good protagonists of the plot, who are anharmed. And it would make things so much fucking better, and I have already one of the most cruel ideas, I want to share in a moment with you.

I loved how Phil was all cringe at the party with the dare to kiss and how you 'came to a rescue' with the epic mirror idea, LOL! Like Ashely is in love with himself, that fits so perfectly with the characteristics of a psychopath.

Know what the best was of this chapter? How the 'toilet' didnt see it coming what eventually would happen, how he was so innocent, of course, he was human not a toilet, and he was in shock, and confused... but you sir are a genius... you literally thought of EVERYTHING. This is by far the best horror plot I read and this example, and so many more, add to it. How he was all like at first experiencing the girls peeing, and then after the 3rd or so, be like let her finishing peeing let her finish, thanks god, shes done... .... nothing happens. Wh-whats going on, why isnt she wiping, is she taking a nap? This horrible silence... of looking up, into her ass, crotch, vagina. More time flows... him totally still NOT getting it, his brain just cant put two and two together why she isnt moving. This is by far the best anticipation you ever did, MORE LIKE IT. And I have a good idea for using it actually again.

I cant think how you could have done this chapter better... except one little detail, and I would love to see it happening in a future chapter. I told you how fantastic the sex in the toilet idea was, and the fuck me in the ass idea. And how it was Debbie who ironically used the toilet later. But you forgot a little gross detail, which had made the plot EVEN better. What was it? Well... think about it. What might could have been happened, which would make it even 100 times more horrible, especially for the straight guy who was now her toilet? Debbie was fucked in her ass, so there should be still lots of gross, slimy cum in her rectum. You could have written out, how she farted and cum came out of her anus, in a thick honey gorss slimy cum thread with horrible thick viscosity. Imagine the horror, of cum out of a girls ass, by a college jock, who fucked her a bit eariler, givin into this straight guys mouth. It would be the ultimate horror. And you should use it maybe in a future chapter. Imagine, how he still doesnt get what was about to happen, and then suddenly a gigantic slimy creamy turd comes out of her anus, OH GOD NO OH GOOD NO NO N OOT THIS GOD NO HELP ME ANY ONE GOD NO- and the snake of cramy shit suddenly keeps acceleration then comes out in a steady speed, and the worst? The creamy shit had CUM around it, white cum, the guy totally saw glued to it. Imagine the horror... the pure horror.

I loved everything how you made the guy imagine him gagging, vomitting, choking, but he cant of course, he had just the feeling in his head, of gagging, and choking and vomitting, and of course, he had all the taste and smell senses. PURE EPIC. AAANd he also would never die, this is by far the best. Imagine what would happen to his brain, his personality, after a week... two weeks... a months? He would be a shell of his former self. He would literally become a LOW IQ drooling mindless thing, totally broken out of shock. Even if Ashely remembered it, and turned him back after 7 years, he wouldnt be able to speak anymore, he would be need to put in a mental hostpial, never be able to speak anymore, just drooling, opened wide eyes, of the horror he went through. I love this so much. Especially of guys using him... this part... so fucking hot: "I got to take a shit," said a male voice. I wish who it was, was it Phil maybe, that would have been so epic.

I can go on like this for hours, see, there are so many parts in this chapter, just these little details like, 'I got to take a shit' a male voice said, making the horror so good. Or the ending of the chapter:

Ashely couldn't help but giggle at that thought, "I don't know, he looks like he can take it.""He?" Clair asked confused."I just like to think of it as a he," Ashely answered.Clair and the other girls couldn't help but laugh as they headed out of the dorm room. Debbie said, "Then he is in for a long month."

The idea of the other toilet broken... and they would use this one, all together, boys and girls, SOOO EPIC! And Ashely not having the slighest regret, no emotion, not giving a shit. What if he would come to it too randomly, to take a shit, not even speaking to him, just to show off his 'cute little ass', and what comes out of it.

This is so evil making it so good, how Ashels 'plays' with it here, he knows, no one else does, no one else would ever, he is the only one who can hear those objects speak, making it so fantastic. And this idea hea? 'I just like to think of it as a he' SOOOOO EPIC! And how the girls then laughed and asnwered in an ironic way back, like teenagers jues do: 'Then he is in for a long month.' You have to continue like it, if you asked me, how to continue, LIKE THIS, this chapter is like the best example 'template', but also, maybe even go beyond, and make it even more horrific, more cruel, more evil and more dirty. And mix it with Asheley just be cold, sadistic, and not giving a shit.

Here is this idea I had actually out of this chapter. I spoke about how epic it would be, if he turns someone into a flesh-light. And how Phil would totally be the best candidate for gifting it to. What if it was Phils 18 birthday, this is actually how I imagine Phil looking like, body shape, not too muscular, but all skinny and sporty of course, like a typical quaterback:

https://i.imgur.com/7iQUmOx.png

https://i.imgur.com/InkilWf.png

I also thought of him maybe swimming too.

So it's his birthday, and Ashely gifts him a fleshlight, maybe even with some ironic remark and laugh, saying, he knew how they (the former fleshlights of him) never last long, and Phil is just like yeah, I use them just too often I guess. Too often, you mean daily? Then it would be some douche, maybe who hates Phil or even worse, maybe a friend of his from the football team, who was rude to Ashley, or maybe a teacher of his. But I think the teacher idea would be epic of used to turn someone into Phils anus, and also using the concept of them not seeing what eventually would happen, and them vomitting a long creamy turd. Then imagine Phil never cleans his fleshlight, and it rots in his room after being used, with thick slimy cum all inside, deep in the mouth/throat, and the guy totally with wide open eyes sitting there in silence... some gag nosies ciming from it, which no one can hear of course, just some vomitting wet noises coming from it... no one can hear, and Phil just sitting on his computer, maybe browsing some straight porn or tumblr. Then I think, what if you would switch to the flesh light randomly in seperate chapter, you never did this before. I had actually this cruel idea I spoke about eailer: what if someone else uses Phils flesh light or he takes it to a party and shares it (the female blow up doll would be awesome for this idea though too), and then something nightmarish would happen. Phil sitting in his room, and someone be like, the dorm toilet is flooded, just great, but Phil had to take a shit badly. He looks around, and notices his fleshlight, and makes a disgusted expression, seeing how it looked totally wearn out alrady after a week of being used. He lifts it up and laughes and gives it a shake with a finger, and speaks to it, hey there little buddy, you totally went through a lot already huh, Ashley was right, my fleshlights never last long laughing. And then the pressure in his rectum gets more intense, shit... he says, and then looks at the fleshlight, and gets an idea. It was so worn out and dirty and smelly anyway already, he would have to throw it away anyway soon. So... he useses the fleshlight as a contained to take a shit into. Crotching, and pressing the opening hard on his anus, and then emptying his bowls into it, filling it to its rim with shit, then uses a tissue from his desk to wipe his anus, and plop the dirty tissue into the opening, pressing down, so it was all filled with shit and on top the tissue. Him looking at it with disgust and then throwing it into the waste bin, he would empty the day or so anyway. Then Ashley could also ask about the fleshlight at some point and Phil scratching his head and be like you were right, they never last, I need a new one I guess, sorry, I hope it wasnt too expensive. And Ashley is like oh it wasnt, actually it was a cheap sale, it wouldnt be too hard to get a new one, cool, thanks bro, where can I order it, dont worry Ill get you a new one.

Ugh I could go on like this forever I love giving reviews! Thank you so much for this chapter, I am in love with it, by far far far. Would love to see you maybing taking off this idea, but also lots of chapters to come. This story is already better than the Sammy one, or at least same level.

Reviewer: arselover Signed [Report This]
Date: March 21 2018 2:22 PM Title: Chapter 3

I will be honest, this was by far, by FAR, the best chapter I ever read, ANYwhere. I have no words how amazing it was. I am a huge scat fan and this is by far the best I ever read. Hope to see more scat in the story too it is just too good, and maybe switch to him another time. The whole chapter is just so good and the last sentence especially of the it as a he and how the girls laughed about it.