Date: May 16 2018 7:29 PM Title: Farewells
Im actually apalled that no one writes reviews for this, so I will apport my grain of sand, about how things are going in general.
Not going to lie, Lindsay was really annoying for me at first, with her sudden crush on Izzella that struck me as rather superficial and shallow, but now, I have grown rather fond of her. She is exploring herself, her body and mind, and so, and is on a really confusing age, but Im really rooting for her.
And Alejandro...he really likes making things harder for himself, isnt it?he didnt needed to say that he was unbounded in front of the whole school. In fact, he really doesnt need to hide Shannon, he just needs to say that he has a MAJOR girlfriend, and thats it, not even need to say her name. Or maybe he could just say her name and get everyone know he is the fiancee of the biggest girl around, and done, no more troubles for Rando!but of course he has to announce it and say things in the most vague way possible for people to interpret it as that he is single and free for the pick. I thought you were smart Alejandro...
And since Im writing this, I wanted to ask if anyone would like to rp on discord with me using Oc set on this universe, on discord, whatsapp, or even facebook messenger. I mean, if you and NotSirk dont mind. It would be all Oc, no characters from neither of your works. sorry for the shameless self promotion, and really looking forward to the next!
Thanks for the review !
I'm glad that you're liking Lindsey, because she is kind of hard to write. I want her somewhere between an "enlightened" MAJOR and a more typical one, with Alejandro being her "good angel" so to speak, while Izzy turns out to be her "inner demon" by unleashing those very common behavioral patterns for MAJORS. Plus, she is at a hard time of her life, entering puberty and all, moving away from home. I hope Alejandro will notice that not everything his rosy for his sister.
Speaking of our titular Minor main character... he never knows when to quit. I mean, he did lose an arm and all because he was too stubborn to give in to what MAJORS expected of him, and it hasn't changed. Plus, he doesn't want to advertise his relationship with Shannon for the moment... plus he's probably thinking that if he is with Shannon, everyone and their mother will try to woo him away, just to be able to brag that they snatched something out of the Matthewson's purse, so to speak. MAJORS are dumb like that.
Concerning the rp, I don't mind at all, but you should try and get NotSirk seal of approval, since it is his universe, I'm just a helper, really !
Date: May 13 2018 2:04 PM Title: Farewells
Sometimes I wish Lindsey actually was bigger and stronger so she could actually take on the entire school and beat them, but that would also be such a typical Major thing to do. Alejandro would probably be mad, but maybe also impressed if that hapenned.
Speaking about Alejandro, he luckily has a Lindsey to warn him about his impendig doom he brought upon himself with his speech. I'm looking forward to what mischief will happen in the next chapters already.
Also, thank you for writing!
Alejandro wouldn't be very happy with a giant little sister destroying whole schools and all. Not that he wouldn't enjoy the show, of course. And he will have many peoples to warn him off of the pitfalls before him... if he is willing to listen to them. he is stubborn, after all !
Anyway, thanks for the review !
Date: May 06 2018 7:32 AM Title: Third Interlude
I like it. I think you understand the characters very well. Especially the dynamic between Linda and Lisa. Linda does believe her daughter is a precious little angel and would never manipulate her. She might be purposefully ignorant to her daughter's manipulative nature. What really resonated with me is the idea that Linda sees Lisa's status a a halfsie as more of a detriment than a plus.That's good stuff.
My one criticism is that Lisa seems a little too knowledgable of Al and Shannon's relationship. Stuff like Shannon paying for Alejandro's schooling or that he has a sister I don't think Izzy would give her those details or even mention Shannon much at all. But that's just me. Shannon's pretty famous so it's not implausible for Lisa to know who she is. Izzy's definetly at least mentioned Alejandro to Lisa though so she is aware of the crush.
Very good work overall.
Thanks for the praise, of Creator of MAJOR/minor !
I'm happy that I didn't pushed the characters too far, I wasn't sure about Linda being as oblivious of her daughter's mischievous and manipulative side, but I thought that you would correct me if I was wrong anyway, so no harm trying it :p . The halfsy's problem was a spur of the moment, something I thought MAJORS would feel bad for minors because it embolded them, being "half-MAJOR" and all, and for someone like Lindsey desperately trying to get more freedom in anyway she can, I felt it would be a can of worms for her parents.
Concerning Lisa's knowledge about Shannon and Alejandro, I can't help but imagine her pestering Izzy or taking advantage of our titular heroine's training to resist mental probed to actually learn more about it ! At least, it's my headcanon so far.
And many thanks for the review !
Date: May 04 2018 8:48 PM Title: Third Interlude
The Lindsey chapter was good, was nice seeing her meet new people. The chapter had quite a few grammatical errors and the ending felt a little weird but guess it showed what a Major goes through at that age.
The Bondange chapters I did not expect which was a good surprise. Liked seeing Shannon and Alejandro growing closer especially with Alejandro starting a Bond taking the lead was unexpected. Wonder if Fiona's attitude will change when meeting Izzy even falling for her like everyone that meets her.
The Linda chapter was good showing more of how Majors tend to think of Minors which reinforce my own thoughs on that Majors feel like giant children. It felt like Lisa had quite a bit of power over Linda making her look like the adult. So to me Minors feel like adults while the Majors feel like bickering children if that makes any sense. Also wondering if Linda will make a pass at Izzy.
Keep up the good work.
Thanks for the review !
Sooner or later, i'll return to the old chapter to do the spell-checking and corrections they deserve;;; but not today, I'm too lazy for it !I'm glad that you liked the bondage chapters, they were kind of hard to pull off. For all the Izzy question, NotSirk will have to answer it someday, perhaps. I'm also glad that the Linda chapter came out well !
Once more, thanks for the review ! :)
Date: April 22 2018 2:37 AM Title: Bondage time (part 2)
Just want to say once again you have a real talent for adding character development in your more sexual content. Something I have yet to master. Even though bondage isn't my thing these last few chapters have been very readable and I just can't miss the continued development of these two. They're getting so much closer, trusting each other enough to test their boundaries. Shannon struggling to contain her dominating urges. Good stuff. Sorry if I haven't reviewed much. I've been busy. Still reading every chapter and feeling bad for Lindsey.
Thanks ! Quite frankly, I wanted those chapters to be mostly sexual content, and a lot more steamy, and somehow ended adding plot and character development... Who would have thought that writing sex-scenes as just sxe-scenes would be so hard ? Nobody told me ! I've been dupped ! And don't worry for not reviewing much, life can be kind of good at making oneself busy. And i'm glad you're still liking it. And don't worry about Lisa, it's just some set up built from what you implied she knew about the Mac Ferlan incident, back in the day (even if I still need to find the chapter where it was hinted !)
Date: April 19 2018 1:01 PM Title: Bondage time (part 1)
Yeah, you might not care about the reviews, but sometimes I have a brilliant review in mind and then you post a new chapter which rams out the foundation from under it ;)
Guess thats what I get for being to lazy to post reviews.
And with that certain marriage set in stone, you mean the marriage between Lindsey and Sammy right?
But actually I have no real comments about this chapter, so I can only thank you and say that I look forward to the next chapter :D
Sammy and Lindsey ? Yeah, sure, I mean, of course, but, hum... Kamoulox ?
Seriously, I hadn't even considered this option at all ! Now ? Who knows... In my head, Lindsey's more of a typical MAJOR than Alaric, so I can't see her ina stable relationship before a loooooong time. She may be heels over head in love with Izzy so far, but she'll be the most open sexually of the Ferrand children. I don't really have a long term partner for her. There will be some things with Jenny, then some random guys and gals, mostly.
In any case, thanks for the review, a pleasure to know that I can still surprise in a good way (hopefully) :p
Date: April 11 2018 2:06 PM Title: Alone time
Laziest reviewer in the world here ... I meant to write a review entire chapters ago, I swear!
It seems that Howard doesn't really know who he is up against, I really hope Shannon can talk some sense into him.
I'm also very happy that Alejandro said yes, it was simply inevitable. They are so cut together, but it is sad too see that Lindsey is taking it so hard. Seems she really drew the short end of the stick. I really hope she can find someone to be happy with!
Thank you for writing (despite few reviews)! I'm really looking forward to the next chapter, it always brightens my day when I see a new chapter of this story in the most recent section!
You're welcome. I'm writing this story because I really want to tell it, don't feel bad for not commenting all the chapters :) !
Regarding the characters, they all have quite the road ahead of them, even if some things are almost set in stone. Including a certain marriage !
Date: April 10 2018 3:15 PM Title: Alone time
I feel really bad for Lindsey. She seems to be going through a lot. It's a surprising revelation that she feels like the family black sheep, especially with Alejandro being the minor. I can see why she's so attached to him.
Well, she is a soon-to-br thirteen years old girl, and a MAJOR. Leaving almost everyone she knows away and moving to a town where she knows no one can't be easy. Plus she feels kind of inferior to her family because her parents are successful, Alaric is basically doing great and Alejandro being a Minor, she finds him rather well-off for his kind, all things considered. Moving away can be traumatic so I want to play on it. And her feelings, which were/are mostly repressed will have to be adressed and made publics, at least with Alejandro or some new friend, if she want to grow as a people.
Date: March 27 2018 8:46 PM Title: Farewells
There getting married?! Holy shit!! I think you just broke Izzy's heart! She's still crushing pretty hard on her "friend" Jandro aka the only truly interesting minor male she's ever met. Why are all the good ones taken?!
It does make me a little sad to see Alejandro's self worth issues. Dismissing Shannon's sexual infidelities because of the doubt in his own ability to measure up. You're worth it Al. And remember you're more than enough for a certain minor girl.
5 grand on seduction. Makes you wonder how much she dropped on the ring. I applaud Shannon on her honesty even if she is moving things faster than the Flash!
Looking forward to the next chapter!
Oh, don't count Izzy out yet ! Without spoiling too much, you'll see that Shannon is rather open to certain kind of sharing, and that she is also quite aware of how Alejandro and her don't really know each other that much. And you'll see sooner or later than he isn't the only Minor Izzy could be interested in, but I won't say more ! Thanks for the review, by the way :) !
Date: March 23 2018 8:56 PM Title: Intimate confessions
Just finished catching up to this story after reading the last installment gotta say love where this is going but didnt expect that to happen at end of chapter 11.
Glad to see Alejandro and Lindsey still getting along wonderfully even bonding and her trying her best to keep him happy and safe. Good to see Alejandro can still mess with Majors like he did with the principal and Lindsey showing that he is actually smarter than they give him credit, even trying to hold it together with a Tier3.
Can't wait for Alejandros reaction and the eventual meeting with the other cast.
Truth been told, I hadn't in mind such a big reveal at the end of this chapter at first, but it grew out of it organically, so I decided to not cut it. There will be quite a lot of troubled waters ahead, for most of the characters, but don't worry, ALejandro will deal with it next chapter. And then we'll return to Lindsey, since it's been some time now ! And speaking of her, I'm happy that you still like her. She has a lot of character growth to do, but I think her foundations are solid enough now for her to develop in a good way. And then, it'll be the school days, and expect some madness ahead !
As always, thanks for the review :)
Date: March 20 2018 6:33 AM Title: Baila con fuego
I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to catch up on this story.
Okay, Shannon in the hotel room was kind of a turn-off. It was a great scene for revealing her character and her challenges, but... ick. But then, that’s the point, Shannon is not a “boundaries” type of person.
It was also a little off putting to see Shannon get out of therapy after that. I felt there was a little too much “that’s just the way biggies are” in the shrink’s (hee hee) affirmation of her. So, I wasn’t feeling like she had been challenged as a character enough by this chapter. Still, snappy dialogue and a peek into Shannon’s life did make it interesting.
Seeing Alejandro out maneuver the biggie authorities at his school was just awesome. Go tiny hero. Setting up a false sacrifice to get what really wanted...chess master thinking. And the characterizations were nice and rich. Lind came off ....well...like a biggie...but one who really cared about her brother. There is a subtlety to you portrait of her that makes her more endearing than most of the extreme personalities we’ve encountered so far.
The reunion chapter...wow!
Sexy. Well choreographed with a mysterious atmosphere. Wonderful work. I liked that it was her trying to make things right for him...even though she was in control. Great contrasts. People say smart is sexy, but Shannon is also proof that creative is sexy.
But the real masterstroke was the “I’m not ready” moment. Oh god. I felt that in my heart. It was so sweet and sad and lovely... as a writer I can only say “wow,” you gave that moment such impact. Such gravity.
Oh, as a writer who has tried to use music in their work...great job integrating the lyrics into the scene.
I hope you are enjoying creating this. You are taking some real risks as an creator and I applaud you for it.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
P.S. Before you ask...yes...I’m working on chapter 12 of Dark Necessities...though no one is going to like it but you.
Oh, you hadn't read most of the story when you commented the other time ? Damn, I'm afraid I may have ended spoiling some things to you then, sorry !
I'm glad that you've liked all the Shannon's scenes, they are always great to write and yet kind of difficult to balance. Last chapter was easier, because I had its rough draft in mind for weeks now. Some things have been spontaneous however (like this "I'm not ready yet" from Alejandro). Overall, i'm happy to have written a lot of other stuff outside of GTS fanfics (even if I really like all the M/M stories).
Alejandro's outmanoeuvring the biggies was mostly in my mind for quite some time too, but the fact that he "sacrificied" his favorite studies to gain some more important tractions came when I read once more NotSirk's main story, where it was clear that all History lessons were in the afternoon, after the Minor's departure (which is not suspicious at all, of course...).
The music was a pain in the ass to settle on, there were so many songs which I felt could work... and then I listened once more to Clean Bandit and I felt that it would probably works best. I'm glad I wasn't wrong on this count. But yeah, placing music in the story is kind of hard.
Also, I'm quite certain that everyone will love your chapter 12, don't worry !
And as always, you're welcome, it's always a pleasure to share.
Date: March 18 2018 1:20 PM Title: Baila con fuego
Shannon really outdid herself with this show! She reaaaally likes Alejandro, doesn't she?
Also, it seems that this aksing for reviews really helped. Without this question I would let my laziness get the better of me.
Thank you for adding this chapter, and I'm looking forward to the next one!
Glad my attemps to get more comments is working. i'll try to add subliuminal messages in the story itself so peoples will add more and more ! Or not, I may be too lazy for it.
And yep, Shannon is really in love. You'll see next chapter, if I manage to write down what I had in mind a way which satisfy me ! Stay tuned folks !
As always, thank you for posting a review !
Date: March 17 2018 12:18 PM Title: Baila con fuego
.....For once I actually think Shannon might be worth Alejandro's time. What a master class in seduction and romance. Holy shit. She knows how to plan a reunion. She really does care about him.
Now...As absolutely great this all was, even somehow showing character development in a sexual interaction, I feel cheated! I want more, but it's over! They barely got to talk at all! You left it on a HUGE cliffhanger!!! Why?!?!
I'm not going to demand you write another chapter so soon. That would be incredibly hypocritical and unfair, but I will say I'm waiting.
P.S.: What's this bullshit about hiding the minor exits!? You think I didn't notice that?! Screw this architecturaly manipulative house design. Put in some fucking doors!
Why? But for the GLORY OF SATAN !
Kidding aside, at first, I had in mind a full chapter, without talking, between Shannon and Alejandro, which would have been the dance and only the dance. Then the next chapter would have been sex and the talk would have been in it. But then, I decided against it because I felt their sexual reconnection should happen here, so their discussion would be more meaningful. I'm glad that you liked it, it wasn't so hard to write in itself, but the difficulty was to convey what I had in mind on the page, which wasn't exactly possible, but I'm still happy with the result.
Concerning the doors, it'll be touched upon next chapter, but I can tell you that for Shannon, it's a way to protect Alejandro : if thieves or something break in and can't find his entrances, he'll be able to slip away or hide well enough.
Anyway, thanks for the review !
Date: March 16 2018 2:22 PM Title: Course correction
Alejandro can be sneaky when he wants to be. Although in this case I think I would have preferred him to be more upfront just because that's what I'm used to him doing. He's a guy who speaks his mind and I think he would've participated in the ritual regardless. Unless a MAJOR forcefully held him back. Also need a little clarity on the event. Is he expected to strip down in front of the whole school?! I wouldn't have the guts.
Also looking forward to the meeting with Shannon. Finally!!!! Will she reveal her extracurricular activities?! How would Alejandro feel about all that. Perfect time to set things in stone. What are they to each other? I'm actually really worried. Shannon's made a lot of progress but it would be foolish not to be cautious of her. Hurry up and write the next chapter!!!!
I'm writing this very chapter right now, hopefully it'll come out tomorrow's or Sunday's morning. As for the event, you'll see how it'll go when we'll be there, I don't want to spoil the fun ! And as always, thanks for the review and your wonderful work !
Date: March 15 2018 6:20 PM Title: Farewells
Lindsey is a true wildcard, and I'm sure other Majors in the High school are going to play just as big a role in the chaos as she does. I like that Alejandro spelled out his craftiness at the end, but I never disagreed with his points and so I didn't see a reason for it to be craftiness. I only really noticed a crafty exchange when he revealed his arm to gain the advantage. It's endearing how much world building has gone into this, it's fleshing out many of the aspects of speculation, and your take on its characters is heartwarming. Lindsey is loving of her brother but wants what she thinks is best for him at the same time and it's interesting to watch their dynamic together. I've changed my view now, and I'm excited to see where their high school lives will go.
I must say that I really enjoy writing about a MAJOR like Lindsey, whose instability lakes unpredictable. I agree that Alejandro's point were perfectly valid, but for the MAJORS of this world, they weren',t and that's why he had to do what he did. There will be some colorful chapters at school, even if their lives there won't be the sole (or main) focus of the story, but I hope to be able to give you some very interesting characters alongside Samantha, Derek and Joshua.
And many thanks for the review ! :)
Date: March 13 2018 6:23 AM Title: Farewells
Nice meeting with Sam, such a strong character just like her will be rival. I mean she will be Shannon's rival for Rondo's love interest right? She seems to be not interested in him but I'm not buying it, every MAJOR up to this point show great interest in our protagonist, which begs the question which one will he chose? I mean they are similar most of the case so what will be the determinig factor?
That was a good come back from the minor, making the bratty teen to think she is the same as her inferior tier 1 borther. I refuse to believe that he kissed his brother, yikes and his twin brother no less.
Shanon seems to keeping it together for the time being, will she confess to the minor that she is fucking around disgustingly when the time comes? Honestly I can't even read most of that part, its too much for me.
I hope there will be time for little sister to earn a "thank you!" from her brother, she was bratty before now she is also cocky and possesive and trying to be manipulative just like a decent MAJOR. Hope she gets her priorities solid even if she makes them wrong. She seems to be split between loving, protective and supportive little sister and taking her brother for herself. Just like she forces him to take the same classes as hers even though he have different interests. Can she help her brother in this? Does she even wants to? Who will help this little minor? He just left the home he lived his whole life and family he relied on.
Also I really liked the local wildlife control.
Well, I can't really answer any of that, it would be too spoilerish. Except Alejandro kissing Alaric. it happened !Who knows, perhaps I'll even write it, one day ?
. But yeah, Samantha and Shannon will have some interesting interactions in the future :) ! Really glad you like the story, and I'll try to keep up my qulity (or rise it) to make sure it remains interesting to read. Hopefully, you'll really like the next chapter, if I manage to write down what I have in mind correctly
Date: March 09 2018 5:12 PM Title: Strong encounter
Embarrassing moment ffor Lind. First being completely cowed and dismissed by Sam, then kissing your brother. Smooth, real smooth. I'm actually right with Alejandro on this. Not really a big deal, kind of a natural extension of her character. She was really close to Rando in DwF she was the only one to convince him to go down to dinner with the Matthewsons and kick the whole story in motion. She's even more possesive now. It will be an interesting little arc to watch her handle her hormones and infatuation.
Oh! And I don't like Sam. I kind of hope Shannon kicks her smug tier 3 ass.
Damn, I tried to depict Sammy as someone really blasé because everything is easy and she doesn't like it anymore. I'll have to work more on that angle then, I find that it makes her interesting and loveable.
I'm glad that you liked Lindsey's characterization here, I kind of wrote the kiss without thinking about it and was unsure of how natural it felt. Expect more teenage MAJOR strange reactions in the future !
Date: March 04 2018 2:19 PM Title: Farewells
Thank you for still updating this story! The quiality of your writing is very good and I really enjoy the story.
Also, poor Alejandro will proably be drowned now when he finally meets Shannon again ;)
Also Sammy makes me really think about the Sammy from "Sammy the Kaiju Slayer"
Is this a shoutout, or simply coincidence?
You're welcome ! Concerning Sammy, it's pure coincidence... I think. I haven't read Sammy the Kaiju Slayer (I'm more of a mini-gts guy than anything) but seeing the title here and there may have played a part in the naming.
Also, don't worry about Alejandro, Shannon taught him how to swim, remember ;) ?
Date: March 03 2018 5:19 AM Title: Therapist session
Very proud of Shannon actually. Her character has grown the most in my opinion. You can see the tangible change. Al has developed, but in a more subtle way. Would've liked to see Shannon in her wild teen yea. When exactly did she have her first massive growth spurt? That must have been frightening to deal with!
I don't know how commited their relationship is yet, it still seems to be pretty casual despite their mutual feelings so I'm not sure how guilty Shannon should feel about "cheating" even though I hesitate to call it that just yet. It is a pretty big red flag though. MAJORS are pretty competitive and promiscuous so I imagine monogamy's probably hard especially since Shannon's still very young for a MAJOR. She's still in her twenties right? That's nothing for a MAJOR. By the fime a minor thinks of really settling down a MAJOR could still be going strong. I expect they'll talk more about all that when they meet up again
I'm curious how Alejandro would feel about all of it. It's already natural to feel inadequate around MAJORS as it is. Wouldn't be fun to have to compete with one in satisfying Shannon's (let's say generous) libido.
Great stuff so far. I wish more people read this story. You tackle very mature and complex subject matter, and I'm not just talking about sex. Keep it up. I'll keep reading!
Thanks for the review !
Concerning Shannon's needs, it isn't something that Alejandro truly had contemplated yet, but he will have to think about it as he'll interact with her a lot more. The sruggle will be real, but he should be able to overcome it. Concerning our titular giantess, she is slightly older than ALejandro, being already twenty when he still isn't. So far, their relationship was more of a long-distance kind of thing, with the added difficulty that Alejandro comes from a double position of inferiority in the social ladder compared to Shannon, by virtue of being a Minor and not a billionaire, even if his parents are quite wealthy themselves.
I'm happy to see that you're liking the tone of the story so far. Truth been told, I considered putting something game-changing in this chapter, but I didn't want to. I think that, down the lane, when it'll happen (not before a long time now) it'll be easily recognizable. The next chapters will focus more on Alejandro and Lindsey, but the next one with Shannon will be the one which pushed me to write this whole new story, so I hope I'll be able to do it justice !
Date: February 25 2018 1:59 PM Title: First Interlude
Samantha's a tier 3?...That's troubling. Al does have a pretty tough wall built around him though. Maybe he can endure it. There are a lot of variables to that interaction that can really cause tension. That's a powder keg!
And I misread Jim. I thought he was an okay guy, but he's already made plans for Alejandro. Maybe he won't be into your daughter! Maybe he won't be into anyone! Shannon's a billionaire who helped him recover significant mental trauma and she just barely qualifies a second glance from Rando! You presume too much sir! You presume tooooooo much!
I will say I actually like the school setting. It's one of my favorite tropes BUT.....New Lives doesn't necessarily need it. It would make good background detail and world building, but Alejandro has tons to work with already with just Lindsey, moving to a new place, not getting eaten by an alligator, Shannon, his own mental health, missing his family. Hell you could do a whole chapter on him just trying to get out the door by himself! No minor entrance! That's bullshit I haven't forgotten!! That being said I do want to see Alejandro succeed in school...if that's what he wants. Education is an important step to independence for a minor. Ah! There's too much to talk about! What will Al do?!!?
He'll do whatever he wants. Sometimes, he like to be treated like a precious jewel, after all (he told so to Joseph at the end of my first story in your universe, if you remember XD). But I can tell you that Samantha will probably surprise you in a good way (and Jim too, I think he is probably one of the most tragic character I'll write in this story). The school won't be too big a part of the story (unlike your main story) but I want to build some solid foundations at first and then make use of them when needed. I may or may not do a whole chapter of Alejandro roaming in his house and trying to get out, I'm not sure yet. So far, I've roughly sixty chapters that I want to write, with a lot of room to add more or add details !
Anyway, thanks for the review !