Date: March 18 2018 1:20 PM Title: Baila con fuego
Shannon really outdid herself with this show! She reaaaally likes Alejandro, doesn't she?
Also, it seems that this aksing for reviews really helped. Without this question I would let my laziness get the better of me.
Thank you for adding this chapter, and I'm looking forward to the next one!
Glad my attemps to get more comments is working. i'll try to add subliuminal messages in the story itself so peoples will add more and more ! Or not, I may be too lazy for it.
And yep, Shannon is really in love. You'll see next chapter, if I manage to write down what I had in mind a way which satisfy me ! Stay tuned folks !
As always, thank you for posting a review !
Date: March 17 2018 12:18 PM Title: Baila con fuego
.....For once I actually think Shannon might be worth Alejandro's time. What a master class in seduction and romance. Holy shit. She knows how to plan a reunion. She really does care about him.
Now...As absolutely great this all was, even somehow showing character development in a sexual interaction, I feel cheated! I want more, but it's over! They barely got to talk at all! You left it on a HUGE cliffhanger!!! Why?!?!
I'm not going to demand you write another chapter so soon. That would be incredibly hypocritical and unfair, but I will say I'm waiting.
P.S.: What's this bullshit about hiding the minor exits!? You think I didn't notice that?! Screw this architecturaly manipulative house design. Put in some fucking doors!
Why? But for the GLORY OF SATAN !
Kidding aside, at first, I had in mind a full chapter, without talking, between Shannon and Alejandro, which would have been the dance and only the dance. Then the next chapter would have been sex and the talk would have been in it. But then, I decided against it because I felt their sexual reconnection should happen here, so their discussion would be more meaningful. I'm glad that you liked it, it wasn't so hard to write in itself, but the difficulty was to convey what I had in mind on the page, which wasn't exactly possible, but I'm still happy with the result.
Concerning the doors, it'll be touched upon next chapter, but I can tell you that for Shannon, it's a way to protect Alejandro : if thieves or something break in and can't find his entrances, he'll be able to slip away or hide well enough.
Anyway, thanks for the review !
Date: March 16 2018 2:22 PM Title: Course correction
Alejandro can be sneaky when he wants to be. Although in this case I think I would have preferred him to be more upfront just because that's what I'm used to him doing. He's a guy who speaks his mind and I think he would've participated in the ritual regardless. Unless a MAJOR forcefully held him back. Also need a little clarity on the event. Is he expected to strip down in front of the whole school?! I wouldn't have the guts.
Also looking forward to the meeting with Shannon. Finally!!!! Will she reveal her extracurricular activities?! How would Alejandro feel about all that. Perfect time to set things in stone. What are they to each other? I'm actually really worried. Shannon's made a lot of progress but it would be foolish not to be cautious of her. Hurry up and write the next chapter!!!!
I'm writing this very chapter right now, hopefully it'll come out tomorrow's or Sunday's morning. As for the event, you'll see how it'll go when we'll be there, I don't want to spoil the fun ! And as always, thanks for the review and your wonderful work !
Date: March 15 2018 6:20 PM Title: Farewells
Lindsey is a true wildcard, and I'm sure other Majors in the High school are going to play just as big a role in the chaos as she does. I like that Alejandro spelled out his craftiness at the end, but I never disagreed with his points and so I didn't see a reason for it to be craftiness. I only really noticed a crafty exchange when he revealed his arm to gain the advantage. It's endearing how much world building has gone into this, it's fleshing out many of the aspects of speculation, and your take on its characters is heartwarming. Lindsey is loving of her brother but wants what she thinks is best for him at the same time and it's interesting to watch their dynamic together. I've changed my view now, and I'm excited to see where their high school lives will go.
I must say that I really enjoy writing about a MAJOR like Lindsey, whose instability lakes unpredictable. I agree that Alejandro's point were perfectly valid, but for the MAJORS of this world, they weren',t and that's why he had to do what he did. There will be some colorful chapters at school, even if their lives there won't be the sole (or main) focus of the story, but I hope to be able to give you some very interesting characters alongside Samantha, Derek and Joshua.
And many thanks for the review ! :)
Date: March 13 2018 6:23 AM Title: Farewells
Nice meeting with Sam, such a strong character just like her will be rival. I mean she will be Shannon's rival for Rondo's love interest right? She seems to be not interested in him but I'm not buying it, every MAJOR up to this point show great interest in our protagonist, which begs the question which one will he chose? I mean they are similar most of the case so what will be the determinig factor?
That was a good come back from the minor, making the bratty teen to think she is the same as her inferior tier 1 borther. I refuse to believe that he kissed his brother, yikes and his twin brother no less.
Shanon seems to keeping it together for the time being, will she confess to the minor that she is fucking around disgustingly when the time comes? Honestly I can't even read most of that part, its too much for me.
I hope there will be time for little sister to earn a "thank you!" from her brother, she was bratty before now she is also cocky and possesive and trying to be manipulative just like a decent MAJOR. Hope she gets her priorities solid even if she makes them wrong. She seems to be split between loving, protective and supportive little sister and taking her brother for herself. Just like she forces him to take the same classes as hers even though he have different interests. Can she help her brother in this? Does she even wants to? Who will help this little minor? He just left the home he lived his whole life and family he relied on.
Also I really liked the local wildlife control.
Well, I can't really answer any of that, it would be too spoilerish. Except Alejandro kissing Alaric. it happened !Who knows, perhaps I'll even write it, one day ?
. But yeah, Samantha and Shannon will have some interesting interactions in the future :) ! Really glad you like the story, and I'll try to keep up my qulity (or rise it) to make sure it remains interesting to read. Hopefully, you'll really like the next chapter, if I manage to write down what I have in mind correctly
Date: March 09 2018 5:12 PM Title: Strong encounter
Embarrassing moment ffor Lind. First being completely cowed and dismissed by Sam, then kissing your brother. Smooth, real smooth. I'm actually right with Alejandro on this. Not really a big deal, kind of a natural extension of her character. She was really close to Rando in DwF she was the only one to convince him to go down to dinner with the Matthewsons and kick the whole story in motion. She's even more possesive now. It will be an interesting little arc to watch her handle her hormones and infatuation.
Oh! And I don't like Sam. I kind of hope Shannon kicks her smug tier 3 ass.
Damn, I tried to depict Sammy as someone really blasé because everything is easy and she doesn't like it anymore. I'll have to work more on that angle then, I find that it makes her interesting and loveable.
I'm glad that you liked Lindsey's characterization here, I kind of wrote the kiss without thinking about it and was unsure of how natural it felt. Expect more teenage MAJOR strange reactions in the future !
Date: March 04 2018 2:19 PM Title: Farewells
Thank you for still updating this story! The quiality of your writing is very good and I really enjoy the story.
Also, poor Alejandro will proably be drowned now when he finally meets Shannon again ;)
Also Sammy makes me really think about the Sammy from "Sammy the Kaiju Slayer"
Is this a shoutout, or simply coincidence?
You're welcome ! Concerning Sammy, it's pure coincidence... I think. I haven't read Sammy the Kaiju Slayer (I'm more of a mini-gts guy than anything) but seeing the title here and there may have played a part in the naming.
Also, don't worry about Alejandro, Shannon taught him how to swim, remember ;) ?
Date: March 03 2018 5:19 AM Title: Therapist session
Very proud of Shannon actually. Her character has grown the most in my opinion. You can see the tangible change. Al has developed, but in a more subtle way. Would've liked to see Shannon in her wild teen yea. When exactly did she have her first massive growth spurt? That must have been frightening to deal with!
I don't know how commited their relationship is yet, it still seems to be pretty casual despite their mutual feelings so I'm not sure how guilty Shannon should feel about "cheating" even though I hesitate to call it that just yet. It is a pretty big red flag though. MAJORS are pretty competitive and promiscuous so I imagine monogamy's probably hard especially since Shannon's still very young for a MAJOR. She's still in her twenties right? That's nothing for a MAJOR. By the fime a minor thinks of really settling down a MAJOR could still be going strong. I expect they'll talk more about all that when they meet up again
I'm curious how Alejandro would feel about all of it. It's already natural to feel inadequate around MAJORS as it is. Wouldn't be fun to have to compete with one in satisfying Shannon's (let's say generous) libido.
Great stuff so far. I wish more people read this story. You tackle very mature and complex subject matter, and I'm not just talking about sex. Keep it up. I'll keep reading!
Thanks for the review !
Concerning Shannon's needs, it isn't something that Alejandro truly had contemplated yet, but he will have to think about it as he'll interact with her a lot more. The sruggle will be real, but he should be able to overcome it. Concerning our titular giantess, she is slightly older than ALejandro, being already twenty when he still isn't. So far, their relationship was more of a long-distance kind of thing, with the added difficulty that Alejandro comes from a double position of inferiority in the social ladder compared to Shannon, by virtue of being a Minor and not a billionaire, even if his parents are quite wealthy themselves.
I'm happy to see that you're liking the tone of the story so far. Truth been told, I considered putting something game-changing in this chapter, but I didn't want to. I think that, down the lane, when it'll happen (not before a long time now) it'll be easily recognizable. The next chapters will focus more on Alejandro and Lindsey, but the next one with Shannon will be the one which pushed me to write this whole new story, so I hope I'll be able to do it justice !
Date: February 25 2018 1:59 PM Title: First Interlude
Samantha's a tier 3?...That's troubling. Al does have a pretty tough wall built around him though. Maybe he can endure it. There are a lot of variables to that interaction that can really cause tension. That's a powder keg!
And I misread Jim. I thought he was an okay guy, but he's already made plans for Alejandro. Maybe he won't be into your daughter! Maybe he won't be into anyone! Shannon's a billionaire who helped him recover significant mental trauma and she just barely qualifies a second glance from Rando! You presume too much sir! You presume tooooooo much!
I will say I actually like the school setting. It's one of my favorite tropes BUT.....New Lives doesn't necessarily need it. It would make good background detail and world building, but Alejandro has tons to work with already with just Lindsey, moving to a new place, not getting eaten by an alligator, Shannon, his own mental health, missing his family. Hell you could do a whole chapter on him just trying to get out the door by himself! No minor entrance! That's bullshit I haven't forgotten!! That being said I do want to see Alejandro succeed in school...if that's what he wants. Education is an important step to independence for a minor. Ah! There's too much to talk about! What will Al do?!!?
He'll do whatever he wants. Sometimes, he like to be treated like a precious jewel, after all (he told so to Joseph at the end of my first story in your universe, if you remember XD). But I can tell you that Samantha will probably surprise you in a good way (and Jim too, I think he is probably one of the most tragic character I'll write in this story). The school won't be too big a part of the story (unlike your main story) but I want to build some solid foundations at first and then make use of them when needed. I may or may not do a whole chapter of Alejandro roaming in his house and trying to get out, I'm not sure yet. So far, I've roughly sixty chapters that I want to write, with a lot of room to add more or add details !
Anyway, thanks for the review !
Date: February 25 2018 8:12 AM Title: First Interlude
I wonder how info about his daughter slipped Shannons notice. Because we know t3 has a chance of dominating even the strongest wills. A major without experience can accidently give commands without noticing their influ3nce, what will a trained t3 be like? How will this become a conflict between the new love Shannon and Alejandro share? Will Shannons secrets be revealed through Alejandros mind? Will there be conflict between the daughter and the minor rights movement? School feels like a.way to keep Shannon and Alejandro apart, and new conflict to arise, but it doesn't feel needed. I don't really see what sort of character growth will occur in a school s3tting for our characters. It just seems to pull unnecessary conflict into the story.
The school is mostly needed for Alejandro and Lindsey, but also the rest of the MAJOR population. Most of the ambassadors don't attend school, or at least not the "elite" ones like Alejandro will. I can tell you that Samantha isn't the usual "gimme" MAJOR, even if she is Tier 3, thouth her abilities will make her dangerous. But she'll allow me to play with a whole other power-level, so to speak, something I wanted to do for some time now. Alejandro going to school will impact a lot of lives in a more mundane way than a talk-show would... but it won't be the only way he'll do so... "Mysterious smile"
Also, Shannon is not a fool, her corporate secrets won't be shared with Alejandro, despite the way she feel about him. She wants to protect him, even if she often try it in misguided ways, and in an environment as ruthless as corporate business... a Minor with access to sensitive informations would be far too exposed and at risk for her liking ! And when Alejandro will be at school, or generally away from her, it'll force Shannon to reflect on herself, her feelings toward him and how she could and should respond to his own and nurture them ! Win-Win situation in my eyes !
Anyway, thanks a lot for the review !
Date: February 25 2018 7:56 AM Title: First Interlude
Okay, I really feel like someone needs to remind Alejandro that he can use the word “no.”
From the plane to the house to Jim planning to use him to hook his daughter up... he needs to make it clear to everyone around him, it seems, that they need to make his consent “part of the plan.”
Seriously, does he need to get a t shirt that says “Don’t Spring Things On Me?”
Oh, I know...”Biggies are like that.” But I think our hero needs to put his foot down. He’s working so hard on being frank with the people around him and I see a lot of his frustration coming from the fact that he’s not included when plans and decisions are being made.
This story has been a lot of fun, with an insightful quality that made it more unique as a world building piece. Little details make these worlds come alive. I really enjoy how Alejandro has such a strong support network but little bits of conflict and tension arise, mostly thanks to the nature of the crazy biggies.
I’m really happy to see such a unique story here. Your characters are fun and alive and I will keep coming back for more as long as you keep “hooking us up.” (Oh darn...I didn’t use any quote marks on paragraph five....I gotta do better next time. Ha ha.)
Okay, I had made a huge ass reaction, but somehow, the site gobbled it up. Damn it, I'll write it again, and longer even !
First thing first, hourra ! The dreaded but still long awaited pixl8ed review ! I was beginning to be afraid that I had bored you to death ! Happy to see I was wrong :)
More seriously, I can tell you that some MAJORS won't know what's coming their way when Alejandro will beging school. Even before that, I intend for him to remind everyone that he isn't some trophy to be fought over. Some plans will be upsetted, and big changes for a lot of biggies will come because they'll discover that a Minor can be harder to move than a mountain range. As for Samantha... she'll be one of the major (eh) character of this story. I don't want to tell too much about her future role, but she'll be pretty important, with at least several Interludes for herself, possibly some chapters from her point of view even.
I'm also glad that you're liking all the details I put in the story. It's something I'm always afraid off overdoing, but my OCD when it comes to crafting worlds can't allow me to do less (and believe me, compared to the stuff I write for myself, it's rather tame here, considering that I don't have the urge to try to create a fictional language, or at least as many words of one in a way that makes sense and fell coherent, like I have elsewhere). It's made harder by the fact that the setting is estadounidense (I don't like to use American in this meaning, deal with it) when I'm French, which add some level of difficulties... even if searching demographics for New Orleans and the like is always interesting, at least for me ;) ! Still, help will always be appreciated.
I'm happy to tell you that the quality of the chapter should improve a little (at least I hope it will) since I'll be reading fictions in English more often this year, something I hadn't ncessarily done until now, so I should learn new words to add to my vocabulary (or remember some of them and finally use them). Anyway, once more, I'm glad to get to read your reviews, they are always extremely interesting.
Thanks for reading my work !
PS: We (at least I) want a continuation of Dark Necessities Beautiful Destinies !
Date: February 23 2018 10:54 PM Title: Settling in New Orleans
Hmmmmm. I find that "structural weakness" excuse rather suspicious. If I were Alejandro I'd check into that.
A decent chapter overall. Kind of feels like a setup chapter. Alejandro's just settling in but I feel like seeds for story threads are being planted. Like Jim's daughter or the gators! That's carzy by the way. MAJORS are insane!
Can't wait for Lindsey amd Al to start school.
Yeah, it was kind of hard to write because of its nature as a transition chapter, but I think it's the kind of things needed to build up my writing skills and this story. I can definitively tell you that you got the main hooks for future chapters in this one, but there is also one which will be used sooner or later and which is a lot less evident, I think ;) !
Date: February 15 2018 7:03 PM Title: Frustration and acquisition
Is it possible to show character growth in a smut chapter? Apparently yes. I'm impressed with Shannon. She's made significant steps to not be that abusive person she was and she's even showing restraint! She's almost worth Alejandro's time.
As for Ms. Park...........Jeez.
I really hope Shannon tipped generously whoever had to clean up that room!
Tipped ? Ah ! That's not how you become a billionaire. Shannon secret teacher, Uncle Scrooge taught her well on that front. More seriously, she paid for all the services when she loaned the floor, and the hotel expect that kind of things, so don't worry, the service are well paid !
I'm also happy that you noted her character growth. In the first draft, she was a lot more torn between doing a "soft" dominance show, and her past behavior, but then I decided that after almost a year of therapy, she had done enough progression on this front to be able to feel better without resorting to violence... But her character growth is not over folks !
Date: February 13 2018 6:00 PM Title: Farewells
I reaaaaaaally dislike Lindsey. She was a consistent annoying brat on the first one, and here she keeps looking down on Sabrina like if she is such a big deal, not to mention being annoyingly possesive at Alejandro. I really hope she realize how full of herself she is.
Don't worry, Lindsey's character growth will come. So far, she is at the worst time any MAJOR can be, early puberty (well, soon) where they are even more unruly, clingy and aggressive than ever. And to add to the problem is his brother's and her family's past. All the Ferrand are, in fact, over-protective of Alejandro, and for Lindsey it comes out as this clingyness. Plus, she knows that when it comes to the social ladder, she is on an upper echelon compared to Sabrina... bue fail to understand that it doesn't mean that she deserves more or that she is better because of it. Typical MAJOR point of view however.
Anyway, many thanks for the review !
Date: February 13 2018 7:44 AM Title: Meeting the driver
New umm uh....New Lives! New New Lives?...2x New Lives? New2Lives?.....New Major/minor!
I like this chapter and the continued back and forth of Lind and Rando. I find it very interesting that Alejandro can't break his bond. I'll have to ellaborate on that. The bond I mean. It's a very....fluid power dynamic. I don't think Al or many minors know the true potential they have. I'm actually in a mood to finish off MAJOR/minor thanks to this, but that's for later.
So Al's a home owner now! That's a pretty presumptuous move from Ms. Matthewson. I can't help but notice that this kind gesture is also a way for her to keep tabs on him! She knows exactly where he lives, knows who is driving him around, presumably pays the bills and thus controls the utilities. Hmmmm...interesting to say the least. A very delicate line between Alejandro's desire for independence and Shannon's natural control as not just a MAJOR but a billionaire.
Really interested in those other unique minors!
Ahhh! I just want to write about Lindsey and Izzy together! Lin and Sab and Mabel fighting! Izzy cussing out Jim Paolini! It must happen!
Well, concerning the bond, I just assumed that Minors hadn't that much control over it, but could use it for their interest if they understood how MAJORS feels about it. Now, their full potential probably eludes most of them, including Alejandro (in your Special, Izzy probably now a lot more about it than him, with your hint that her and Mei were a couple for a time, with bonding and all I suspect).
You're right that it's presomptuous from Shannon, it was clearly something she did behind the whole Ferrand family's back... and it gives her enormous power over both Alejandro and Lindsey, while being overall really great for both of them : they live even closer from their High School now, with a house and all, and they have someone at their beck and call to go wherever they want in or near New Orleans... But Shannon will always know where they are.
I'm happy that you want to write more about MAJOR/Minor but... I want to read more about Caretaker also ! I want to see Thomas tell Luna "Send me back you arrogant divinity!"
But I also want to read more about Izzy and all... Dilemma !
Date: February 11 2018 1:31 PM Title: Farewells
Such a fun story and thanks for continuing it and giving a glimpse into the new lives.
The banter between Lindsey and Alejandro is also very fun. I'm curious how they will end up.
I'm looking forward to the next chapter, also, sorry for the copy-paste like reviews ;)
Haha, don't worry, I like your review ^^ ! I've already planned where all the main characters will go, even if things may change with the MAJOR/Minor Special written by NotSirk which happens early on in the New Lives' timeline.
Date: February 09 2018 7:44 PM Title: Fly away
I find aspects of the air travel system highly questionable. Lindsey gets to chill in first class while Alejandro's stuck in the minor cheap seats! And who's the asshole telling their minor to act like an obnoxious douche?! You can't force a minor to do that! She should resist more! That's breaking some sort of law! I hate them both!!! Alejandro should be allowed to sit next to his sister!
Okay rant aside. I like the way Lin and Ran's relationship has developed. It seems more mature than in "Dance" where Lindsey was almost unbearably jealous of the bond. I like how the power dynamic shifts back and forth. Although honestly I'd prefer Al punch out that minor then have Lindsey put him to sleep. Lame!
Well, we will see more of the Minor section, and it isn't actually that bad... when you don't have an asshole and his crazy Minor gal doing their best to make the rest of the passengers miserable ! Truth been told, Alejandro would probably love to punch her, but he doesn't like punching peoples, and especially girls. Except in self defense, of course.
Date: February 04 2018 1:19 PM Title: Farewells
Ooh, interesting start, and II definitely can't wait to see how Alejandro's new life in somewhere different from home turns out!
Glad you're liking it so far ! The change of settings means that a lot of new characters will appear, I hope I'll do them justice ! By the way I'm doing minor (heh) editing on Dance with Fire, I've done up to Burning Passions so far, I'll keep going tomorrow. I just wanted to say it ^^
Date: February 03 2018 8:06 AM Title: Farewells
Oy! I got sniped for first comment on a new MAJOR/minor story! Damn you sleep cycle!!
Cherry, Cherry, Cherry, tsk, tsk, *shakes head* trying for the mythical MAJOR/minor twinway!? You flew too close to the sun!
Also it's just good to see these characters again! I wanna know what's up with the Ferrands! Not just the kids either I find the parents interesting as well. A new adventure begins! Jeez! Reading thismakes me want to start posting more MAJOR/minor!! Ah that's bad for me!
I didn't expect Izzy to leave such an impression on Linndsey! I might have to get Ms. Ivory and company down to New Orleans just for the drama! Anyway nice start. How do we know they didn't do a security check on Rando just to get a peek of him down to his undies huh?! HUH?! I see you MAJORS! You're not clever!
Haha, too bad, you just got the silver medal !
Yeah, Cherry is quite the kinky girl... but is it her fault ? I mean, there is a genetic lab near her hometown and in there, a lot of MAJORS seems to grow a lot, wouldn't you think. Is it coincidence ? Probably, but onspiracy nutjobs still have their days.
I'm glad you're happy to see them again. We will see more of Jules and Ofelia too, probably once every 5 chapters (I like to add Interlude to my drafts, so we'll see ^^). Lindsey was quite smitten by Izzy, after all, she was the first minor she saw apart from her brother, and she had quite a character... and obviously, considering how much she likes her brother ? Well, feisty minors are attractive to her.
As for the airport security, I assure you sir that there is no camera in there. No, I would need a warrant to verify it, sorry. Kiding aside, at first I considered having a MAJOR doing a physical search, but I found it too invasive and Alejandro wouldn't ever allowed it, so we would have had a one shot only, and I want to write a very long story here, damn it !
Date: February 03 2018 6:51 AM Title: Farewells
I am happy this journey has another destination. What spurred you to create more? Will Shannon and Alejandro get together? And most of all, what will this season's conflict be?
Well, I always wanted to write more about Alejandro and all. I've made a very rought "draft" for 60 chapters for now, but I've a lot of ideas which haven't been hammered down yet so it'll probably be even longer than that. I'll write down at a lesser rythm so I'll be able to work on my other projects IRL, without feeling that I'm diverting myself too much here :). As for what will be happening... Mystery !