Date: December 02 2018 3:39 PM Title: Nervousness
I just wanted to say that I'm still enjoying the story, despite having basically nothing to say about it for the last few chapters.
The only thing is that I could do is complain that the chapter ended to soon.
Well, at least thanks for writing! And I'm looking forware to the next chapter.
Thanks for the review !
I'm sorry that I can't make longer chapters, but the current length is the one I'm comfortable with... and to add another bad news, I'll probably reduce the number of chapters put out until the end of 2018 !
I'll try to keep up the good work still and I hope you'll enjoy the next chapters !
Date: December 02 2018 6:16 AM Title: Nervousness
Nice chapter I really like how you nailed Izzy's- wait......Izzy's in this chapter?! Oh, shit! You've caught up!! *hits panic button* I guess I better get in gear! Seriously though message me so we can collabe and I'll do the same! Get our literal stories straight.
Anywho I think you have a frim grasp on my characters! Izzy especially, her contempt for Shannon feels almost like I wrote it. Wonder if she'll ever get over that roadblock?.....No, probably not. Great chapter! Very hyped for this!
I sent you a note on DA, but overall, don't worry about pushing chapters out. I can push less chapters out of New Lives so you'll have more time. Plus so far, I intent to mostly fill the blanks of your current chapters ;)
Thanks for the review by the way !
Date: November 04 2018 3:26 PM Title: Shannon in the place - part 1
Awesome chapter! I really hoped we would see Shannon and Alejandro on the bond plane.
I think both of them really need this. Shannon needs to learn to let somebody else to take control sometimes and Alejandro needs to see how awesome he actually is.
Oh and it was also good fun to see Shannon stomping around.
Thank you for writing and I hope you had a nice break.
Glad that you're liking it !
Shannon's the ultimate MAJOR : bigger, badder, stronger... and it means she gets to rule everyone. And sadly for her and her tyrannic tendencies, she has fallen in love, with a traumatized Minor who needs more care to be handled and open himself than she has ever believed existed in the world (since MAJORS are pretty unimaginative - at least, that's my take on it- when it comes to non-pragmatic/functional thinking). Letting go of her dominance, even a little, is really hard to her, but it'll be quite rewarding for her to do so.
As for Alejandro, he's a badly traumatized and hurt person, a very fragile being in a world of giants, who has discovered that he couldn't live without that monstrously gigantic MAJOR who is like everything wrong with them up to 20. From base 5. ANd yet, he has power over her, and need to realise it and that he must not abuse it. It'll be a part of the future stories.
I'm happy that you enhjoy the Holodek, I mean the Bond Plane ! It'll allow me to play with a lot of various size and possibilities in the future. I think.
Thanks for reading me and my break was nice. The return to work, not so much, I've have a fire in my throat all day, and couldn't bring myself to write anything today...
Date: October 30 2018 5:46 PM Title: The Beaulac Family
What's happened to Shawna is really tragic. Does she even know what a normal life is? It feels like she's been programmed to except what happened to her as normal from practically birth. I wonder what kind of person her aunt really is to do that to an underage minor and I refuse to see Helena as any better. Heavy stuff man!
Well at least Lindsey gets to see Izzy soon!...And Sabrina. Actually that hasn't really worked out great for little Lind has it? Also I didn't realize Lindsey was only twelve. That actually makes her a few months younger than Sabrina huh? I was writing her assuming she was at least thirteen. I kinda feel bad now. Like Sabrina's been bullying her! Oops!
Yep, Shawna's been quite screwed by Life. I hope she'll find someone nice someday.
And don't worry for Lindsey, she'll be 13 in a few days, story times 😉
Date: October 11 2018 11:16 AM Title: Friends at home
Who would have thought the news that one little Alejandro has a GF would draw such big crowds. Well at least Lindsey has some protecting friends.
Also nice to see some Sammy character development and also seeing that she can also talk normally. What kind of speech defiecient is she trying to imitate, a Southern accent? (I'm not a native English speaker, so I have a bit of trouble with determining this).
Also, can we get a 500ft Lindsey?
Thank you for writing! I'm always looking forward to a new chapter in this story!
Well, Alejandro is a non-entity as far as the media circus is concerned. Shannon, on the other hand.... it's basically Bill Gates but young, sexy and female, actually campaigning for the ultimate minority among minorities and acting privately as she profess peoples should act. It's bound to make waves.
Concerning Sammy's accent, I can preview a little bit of the next chapter : she spoke like that because she had a speech default and her dad started helping her, but then had to "take a tour" and came back changed deeply. So she speaks like that to try and rekindle that time she was happier.
A 500ft Lindsey could come in a dream sequence, I guess !
As always, thanks for the comment.
Date: September 29 2018 2:28 PM Title: Sixth Interlude
Wow, Izzy has a lot of sidechicks.
And good to see that Mei is not completely gone.
Other than that, I actually don't have a lot to say other than thank you for writing!
The truth is that Izzy is in fact a Djinn's past life and that she knows remember how she made the whole world her harem ! *What a twist!*
Mei will make sporadic appearances when we'll finally reach the weeks where Izzy will be in New Orleans. Often, nakedly domineering appearances.
And has always, thanks for the review !
Date: September 29 2018 1:43 AM Title: Sixth Interlude
Oof! Rejected! Congratulations. You actually made me feel bad for Mei...just a little. Hard to do considering I created the character and know exactly how coldly manipulative she's willing to get. Completely denied, in the shower no less, a minor shower! She's trying so hard! Even taking a babysitter job she doesn't need. How exactly did she manage to snag a babysitting position anyway? Scratch that. The real question is how did Ignacio convince Izzellah to accept a babysitter at all?! That is not a conversation that went well for him, especially if it was Gloria's idea! That poor man! Probably played the baby card somehow. That's the only way Izzy woukd accept that bullshit.
Another great chapter and you write Izzellah well. Really captured her awkward lust and embarrassment! She's just a hopeless virgin afterall. One small mistake though. Iggy and Gloria aren't married yet. They're engaged. Barely a difference I know. That's it. Really just a detail. Reading your story always feels my head with ideas.
Dam, I'll correct the marriage soon then !
Glad you're liking this Interlude, I was kind of nervous, really. I didn't want to mess things up for your Special (of which I can't wait to read more!).
Mei totally made use of her starlker abilities to learn about the Team having an event and of her Perusasion skills to convince Ignacio. But thanksfully, Izzy was able to take her down a peg !
Date: September 16 2018 1:34 AM Title: One, Two, Threesome
Maybe Shannon should start bouncing up and down when she proposes an idea. That way, Alejandro will be way busy with keeping his footing and has no time to complain lol
And it's kind of fun to see how those normals majors don't want to take Alejandro seriously, but completely understand that they are outmatched when Shannon walks in and submit.
I think Lindsey and Sabrina won't be happy with that last part. One of the few perks of moving away from Winton and working for Shannon was no more Mei. But is seems that Mei, uhh finds a way.
Thank you for writing! I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
Nah, she can't bounce, she would fall. She's strong, but not THAT strong. But it would definitively work on Alejandro, poor guys is just a man, after all !
Concerning her bullying others, I found that the MAJOR society actually allow for a lot of power plays and change of behaviour. They're all hardwired to be those dominants assholes, but also to respect those they can't take on when fighting them is useless (at least I see them like that). And when a Minor is on the line, even a little mouse would jump at an elephant !
Introducing Mei's demands (yes, plural) will be a major plotpoint of the upcoming "arc" with the characters from the Main Story, I hope I'll manage to do justice to NotSirk writing here !
Thanks you for your comment and as always, thanks for your support.
Date: September 02 2018 8:24 AM Title: About empathy... and sex
Shannon might need more therapy. Sex isn't gonna solve everything Shannon. And go easy on poor Alejandro he's had it rough without you relentlessly pounding him in more ways than one! Take a cold shower! That said they have a remarkably strong bond (heh, get it? have I made that joke before?) Although I'd kinda like to see Shannon get trounced by Al in a bond! I mean Shannon does seem a lot stronger than a tier 2 even though she's not tier 3 so who knows if Al's up to that. Maybe she's like a tier 2.5 even though that's not a thing. There are subtleties to bonding who knows? *shrug* I still wanna see it though. Especially with her getting all whiny about it! Izzy's shaking her head at you Shannon! Geez I wanna see that too. Izzy bonding with Shannon? Would Shannon get into the house?!....What am I even talking about now? Fun chapter good work!
Well you know... Shannon is a twenty-something billionaire, a five plus meters and ton and kind of super-strong because of it, even compared to her size. I'm pretty sure that if she says that sex is the solution to all problems, sex will comply. And if it doesn't work, more sex is obviously prescribed !
Concerning Shannon's Tier level, for me, she is firmly a Tier 2, but her massive ego and confidence is displayed in the way she uses the bond, as a very blunt and overpowering tool. Hence why she freaks out at the idea of Alejandro being better than her at wielding it (and, spoiler, he is! ANd so are Lisa, Izzy, Shawna... well, every minor, really).
And thanks for the praise ! :)
While I'm thinking about it, if you've some rough ideas about a following to Alex After... i've got a kind of itch to scratch there, and I wouldn't want to derail anything :)
Date: August 28 2018 1:52 PM Title: Flaunting power
So Shannon has a car. Proportionally it would be about 3 times her lenght, so about 18m ( 59ft) long. This basically means Shannon has more of a monster truck to simply drive over the plebs. I'm gonna use the roaring motor in an electric car as proof of that.
And Shannon is kinda right. She is, by their own standards, way above those highschool plebs. They should listen tot her when it comes to minors ;)
I hope Alejandro can recover his brokenness and he gets to bond with Shannon again, hopefully in the next chapters, so we can see what Shannon looks like on the bond plane.
Also, thank you for writing, its always nice to see a new chapter added to this story!
Date: August 26 2018 11:34 PM Title: Farewells
This story is honestly fantastic, I love the characterisation and narrative and the fetish stuff in equal measure.
Although one thing that stuck with me and I think would be cool to see more of is stuff like chapter 4, Shannon dominating people totally is incredibly hot. Maybe a side story exploring her more vicious side?
In any case your writing is fantastic and I hope to see more from you.
Thanks for the kind review !
- Truth been told, I'm always afraid that my fetish part are uninteresting and too few while my normal story parts are too boring for peoples. Glad to hear that you like the two equally.
We may see Shannon utterly domination someone like in Chapter 4 once Alejandro and her will have eased in their Relationship. For starter, she wants to do that to Alejandro ! But other peoples may come in.
It's a teaser but... Remember how Waid's son and girlfriend are like Shannon in size (and the woman is just as well endowed) ? Well, the natural progression after a threesome is a foursome, right ?
A flashback story of Shannon wild years... I hadn't thought about it, yet why not ? But don't hold your breath just yet !
Date: August 22 2018 3:39 PM Title: The Bond Plane
I'd say you got it right. I find it hard to critique anything so far. A very accurate interpretation. I like Hua-Ju's perspective on it too! The bond being something to be reclaimed from MAJORS who have in a way taken control of it. I doubt many MAJORS would say that though (not out loud anyway). Izzy probably wouldn't agree either. She's to grounded in reality and lacks the imagination to truly value bonding. I think this makes Hua-Ju pretty unique so far. Nice to see Alejandro making a real friend. I can't imagine how Shannon would possibly be threatened by a tiny, portly asian girl, but I'm sure she'll find a way.
Also it's kind sad to see Alejandro us still so damaged. Sad.
Concerning Lindsey in the previous chapter : you can't really blame her, it's her parents fault ! How did they dare educate their MAJORS children to be kind and considerate toward their minor sibling !? Truly the works of terrible parents ! Now the poor girl is all twisted with morality and care for Minors and other nonsense, ;p
More seriously, Lindsey's kind of a tool when it comes to the usual MAJOR/minor relationship. But it makes her great to point the obvious problems or highlights the good things. In the same time, she is a MAJOR entering puberty, so she likes to fight, she's boisterous and, deep down, really unsure of herself.
Concerning Kris and his family : we will see more of them, well, Kris will talk more about them. But I felt that it wouldn't make sense for him to reveal everything just yet. Just like Shawna'll be more open about her past and her life at some point.
Now the actualchapter... I'm glad I didn't fucked up the bond here ! I'm also happy that you like Hua-Ju. I wanted to introduce a Minor with great ideas for her people but too shy/not engaged enough to become an ambassador. Of course, Alejandro is kind of alredy that but since he's fiancé to Shannon, he's almost forced to become an ambassador. Plus I thought Hua-Ju would make for a great foil of Izzy : where one is all about the bond and what it allows minors to do, the other is all about the real world and see the bond as something not so great. And I felt that 'Rando needed a Minor to truly learn the intricacies of the bond, so it's a bonus point but he got one of his kind as a friend in N.O. already, possibly Kris, and Samantha (who's like, the Super Alpha of the School, to be honest). He'll be pretty safe now !
As for how he still sees himself as damaged ? At the start of Dance with Fire or even in the 3-chapter Mac Ferlan Incident, he would have been far worse, believe me. In truth, he's already healed a lot, but he needs to make a final choice : either embrace his brokenness and make it something more beautiful than ever before (à la kintsugi) or forge ahead by fundamentaly rejecting this idea. And he's not ready yet to choose either.
Date: August 19 2018 2:08 PM Title: Kris and Vanessa
Ah, recognizing that it is not nice to hijack someone's dreams for personal gain. Lindsey is basically becoming half a minor, another reason I think she should simply rule.
But on the other hand... Kris and Vanessa are such a cute couple and Kris finally has some family he can rely on.
Well, at least thanks for writing, I liked the chapter!
Well Lindsey has a rather uncommon background for a MAJOR after all, so she's kind of in a minority (eh) here. But as you pointed out, Kris and Vanessa seems made for each other, somehow, at least physically ! What does the future has for them... Decision, decision...
As always, thanks for the review !
Date: August 18 2018 5:32 AM Title: Kris and Vanessa
Lindsey, Lindsey, Litlle Lindy Lindsey. "tsk, tsk" *shakes head*
How are you even surprised. Most MAJORS think like Vanessa. I dare say she's not really even doing anything wrong here at least from a MAJOR'S perspective. Getting upset won't change it. I mean you had to see this coming. MAJORS see minors as property, or at best children to be coddled or ignored. Vanessa's scheme if you can even call it that is more like starter level MAJOR/minor dating. Of course Kris is a means to an end. Of course she'd want to use him to springboard her career! What he wants really doesn't matter much! And hey if Kris comes to like her that's a nice bonus. You know how rare it is to find a minor partner?! Like 1 in 6700! Don't be stepping on a girls courting plans. Snitching to Shannon! Just deck ker once and move on! Vanessa's done nothing wrong. She's just strategically placed herself in an advantageous position to capture a minor mate. Don't be jealous.
Kris has a much sadder backstory than I thought. It makes me wish it wasn't glossed over so fast. I wanna know what his original family was like. Since he was their coping mechanism how are they fairing without him? Back into drugs? Are more of them dead?! Do they get to see him, like monitored visitation? For some reason I imagine someone withdrawing and the first thing they do is search for Kris to hold him and calm the symptoms. That's kind of sweet and dark. Was he a lottery minor? Like Jackpot Johnson? If you don't remember what that is it's when poor families have lots of kids in hopes of having a minor for the sustantial monentary assistance provided by the government. I just think that'd be a nice element. Either way he's more deep than I originally thought. He went from a 5/10 to at least a 7/10 in this chapter.
Also it's rough to see Alejandro still feel so isolated at school. He needs real friends. Not just a bunch of thirsty MAJORS either. Sorry Lindsey but that doesn't mean you. You're doing great work but you're still his little sister!
Date: August 16 2018 3:55 PM Title: Fifth Interlude
Ah yes, holiday's that are basically busier than working days, I recognize that. Well, at least we have another good chapter to read!
That comment about Shannon eradicating gators when one kills Alejandro is probably a very valid concern. These Gators should proably be added to the endangered species list just because they could possibly kill Alejandro, awakening Shannon's wrath. But she probably isn't as concerned about gators as Alejandro is, she can just sit on one and it will be defeated! Well, now I think about it, this counts for proably most things that end up under Shannon.
But nice to see Lindsey so excited for a change and Alejandro helping her to get the ceritficate. And of course nice that she can directly make use of her training and knock down Alejandro a peg. Oh and uhhm Izzy will probably love it ;)
Lindsey really deserved to have some fun for all the hard work she puts in to be the best self she can be.
Thank you for writing, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter! heh I should really go to sleep now.
Thanks for the review. It was cool to make a fun chapter with Lindsey, I'll do more in the future now that she has revealed her insecurities ! Plus it's funny to see her taunting Alejandro.
I hope you'll like the regular chapter out today :) !
Date: July 31 2018 2:37 PM Title: Revelations and advices
Thanks for starting the new chapter with the actual point of the last chapters. And also congrats to France for the win (although I'm a bit late), my country didn't even make the world cup :( I hoped Belgium would win but oh well.
And yeah, Alejandro is right, these reactions from the MAJORS is sometimes very funny. Just like Shannon being somewhat intimidated by Izzy and seriously not even understanding that Izzy is terrified of Shannon.
And somehow its not really clear to me (I think its Shannon), who exactly moved the "Izzy squad" from a motel to the "Ferrand house," but the is clearly the superior option and Alejandro should know that!
Also, thanks for writing, adding a chapter to this story makes my day better!
Thanks for your comment, and sorry for the delay and the absence of chapter, it turned out that my holidays weren't much better than the work days to write, quite the contrary...
Concerning the Izzy Squad moving out of the hotel, it can be either way, but I honestly find it hilarious to imagine a Shannon outraged and dejected that everyone think that she did it when she wouldn't have. I'm a dadist, I guess :p
And thanks again for your kind review, I'll try to put the next Interlude out this week, but can't make promises.
Date: July 19 2018 1:28 PM Title: Standing up to the abyss
I'm starting to loose track, has Lindsey already said the only sentence she needs to say? The one where she tells Alejandro that people figured out He and Shannon are together?
Why doesn't she react on the fact that Alejandro doesn't care about this?
Also, Thanks for writing, its always good to see that there is an update of this story!
Thanks for the review !
I may have forgotten to actually write the reveal of what Lindsey did in the drunken stupor which followed France's victory of the World Cup. But it's an event quite monumental, so I can't be blamed for it, right ? Plus, I spent like two weeks thinking about this chapter, so I may have ended thinking thgat I wrote it but didn't, sorry. It'll be dealt with in the next chapter, promise !
Date: June 23 2018 8:06 AM Title: A couple's workout
Excellent chapter, I didn't even realize I hit the end until your end of chapter note hit. Im glad the bonding works out for you story wise. I know in its own way, bonding can eliminate too much story if its abused. It's still beautiful
Thanks for the compliment, I'm glad you liked it. COncerning the bonding, I wanted it to meaningful but also explained and somewhat mystical, so it was kind of hard to pull off, I hope I managed !
Date: June 22 2018 10:53 PM Title: Farewells
So...To capitulate, Shawna has been sexually abused by her aunt since she was a child, and she has horrible stockholm syndrome to a family that doesnt seen anything wrong in using her like a stress relief of some kind. She is an orphan and is scared of what could go wrong, and only wants a life of safety, where she can be sure she is safe, so she has idolized Majors, the beings that can give her the safety that she craves so much. Dear lord you did it again, I have pity for someone I hated. Also, what will she think when she knows that Alejandro is with Shannon?if he even is, since Shannon keeps pushing Izzy on him on one of those "if you leave something let it free" kind of thing. Which is nice but also dumb, since she can lose him. Not to mention I want Izzy with a girl. Like Lindsey.
That's pretty much it, yup. Shawna won't bulge from her positions, she has reasons to feel as she does, after all, and most minors probably just want to be safe, either because they don't know better or experienced traumas where MAJORS were saviors. And to them, the "Righters" are potentially dangerous, because "their" MAJORS could grow distants and leave them alone. You'll see how she feels about Shannon and Alejandro when the matters will sprout in the story, don't worry. And in my mind, Shannon and Alejandro will end together, but it doesn't mean that him and Izzy can do good to themselves and those they care in the same time :p