Reviewer: pixl8ed Signed [Report This]
Date: March 20 2018 6:33 AM Title: Baila con fuego

I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to catch up on this story. 

Okay, Shannon in the hotel room was kind of a turn-off.  It was a great scene for revealing her character and her challenges, but... ick.  But then, that’s the point, Shannon is not a “boundaries” type of person.

It was also a little off putting to see Shannon get out of therapy after that.  I felt there was a little too much “that’s just the way biggies are” in the shrink’s (hee hee) affirmation of her.  So, I wasn’t feeling like she had been challenged as a character enough by this chapter.  Still, snappy dialogue and a peek into Shannon’s life did make it interesting.

Seeing Alejandro out maneuver the biggie authorities at his school was just awesome.  Go tiny hero.  Setting up a false sacrifice to get what really wanted...chess master thinking.  And the characterizations were nice and rich.  Lind came off ....well...like a biggie...but one who really cared about her brother.  There is a subtlety to you portrait of her that makes her more endearing than most of the extreme personalities we’ve encountered so far.

The reunion chapter...wow!

Sexy.  Well choreographed with a mysterious atmosphere.  Wonderful work.  I liked that it was her trying to make things right for him...even though she was in control.  Great contrasts.  People say smart is sexy, but Shannon is also proof that creative is sexy.  

But the real masterstroke was the “I’m not ready” moment.  Oh god.  I felt that in my heart.  It was so sweet and sad and lovely... as a writer I can only say “wow,” you gave that moment such impact.  Such gravity. 

Oh, as a writer who has tried to use music in their work...great job integrating the lyrics into the scene. 

I hope you are enjoying creating this.  You are taking some real risks as an creator and I applaud you for it. 

Thank you for sharing this with us.

Peace.

pix

P.S. Before you ask...yes...I’m working on chapter 12 of Dark Necessities...though no one is going to like it but you.

Author's Response:

Oh, you hadn't read most of the story when you commented the other time ? Damn, I'm afraid I may have ended spoiling some things to you then, sorry !

I'm glad that you've liked all the Shannon's scenes, they are always great to write and yet kind of difficult to balance. Last chapter was easier, because I had its rough draft in mind for weeks now. Some things have been spontaneous however (like this "I'm not ready yet" from Alejandro). Overall, i'm happy to have written a lot of other stuff outside of GTS fanfics (even if I really like all the M/M stories). 

Alejandro's outmanoeuvring the biggies was mostly in my mind for quite some time too, but the fact that he "sacrificied" his favorite studies to gain some more important tractions came when I read once more NotSirk's main story, where it was clear that all History lessons were in the afternoon, after the Minor's departure (which is not suspicious at all, of course...).

The music was a pain in the ass to settle on, there were so many songs which I felt could work... and then I listened once more to Clean Bandit and I felt that it would probably works best. I'm glad I wasn't wrong on this count. But yeah, placing music in the story is kind of hard.

Also, I'm quite certain that everyone will love your chapter 12, don't worry ! 

And as always, you're welcome, it's always a pleasure to share.

Reviewer: NotSirk Signed [Report This]
Date: March 17 2018 12:18 PM Title: Baila con fuego

.....For once I actually think Shannon might be worth Alejandro's time. What a master class in seduction and romance. Holy shit. She knows how to plan a reunion. She really does care about him. 

Now...As absolutely great this all was, even somehow showing character development in a sexual interaction, I feel cheated! I want more, but it's over! They barely got to talk at all! You left it on a HUGE cliffhanger!!! Why?!?! 

I'm not going to demand you write another chapter so soon. That would be incredibly hypocritical and unfair, but I will say I'm waiting. 

Good job. 

Great chapter. 

P.S.: What's this bullshit about hiding the minor exits!? You think I didn't notice that?! Screw this architecturaly manipulative house design. Put in some fucking doors! 

Author's Response:

Why? But for the GLORY OF SATAN !

Kidding aside, at first, I had in mind a full chapter, without talking, between Shannon and Alejandro, which would have been the dance and only the dance. Then the next chapter would have been sex and the talk would have been in it. But then, I decided against it because I felt their sexual reconnection should happen here, so their discussion would be more meaningful. I'm glad that you liked it, it wasn't so hard to write in itself, but the difficulty was to convey what I had in mind on the page, which wasn't exactly possible, but I'm still happy with the result. 

Concerning the doors, it'll be touched upon next chapter, but I can tell you that for Shannon, it's a way to protect Alejandro : if thieves or something break in and can't find his entrances, he'll be able to slip away or hide well enough.

Anyway, thanks for the review !