Reviews For The Plan
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Reviewer: Ecstacy Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: May 07 2018 10:28 PM Title: Prologue

I've read a couple of your other stories, most notably "Side Effects" and as per usual you do a great job delving into the psyche of Laura as she enjoys the several perks of her growth. Compared to the mental gymnastics that was done by Kelly in "Side Effects" to justify her actions, it's interesting to watch Laura who has clearly fantasized about being in this position quickly disassociate with regular people, accept that many will die, many of which by accident, etc.


Some of the problems though I have is some of the characterization suffering. Mayor Strauss for instance, was a case of needing more show and not tell. If you hadn't told me that he was trying to drive out the liberal crowd, was possibly homophobic, etc. I wouldn't have known. I think if more was done to establish the kind of vile person he was, it'd make Laura feel all the more justified that she was the one who needed to be in charge. Though it was nice touch that he practically sent the police force on a death mission to confront Laura to display his cowardly nature.


As for Laura she early is developed as a pretty opinionated person, liberal, eco-friendly, etc. It would be interesting to see more of that side of her such as when she crushed the man with the oversized SUV, rather than the whimsical abuses of her power that get a bit too repetitive at points in my opinion. 

I also found Staci's death premature considering they just reunited. It would've made for an interesting dynamic if you took longer to explore how Staci responds to seeing first hand  the atrocities Laura commits, or if Laura makes more of an effort to avoid killing the masses to appease Staci, or will Laura deem Staci no different from the rest of the 'tinies' and that it should be Staci's job to adapt to her not the other way around, etc.


Most interesting to me though is that I look forward later on what other type of abilities Laura will discover. Immense strength and capability of destruction are no brainers considering her size; however her uncovering that her brain is much more efficient at processing information, she can influence the emotions of others, etc. Reinforce her belief of goddesshood 



Author's Response:

Hi there!

First of all, thanks for the comprehensive feedback. I'm glad to meet another reader of my stories and I'm very happy to see The Plan counterposed to Side Effects. I have to say that I found myself agreeing to basically all your feedback. Let me try to provide some comments on how I see it or what I see as the reason behind some of the strengths and shortcomings of this story.

First, I still consider Side Effects as my best work so far (I think, from your comment, that you agree too?). I'm quite happy with The Plan, but even if I thought the story was good enough for posting, I also realized that the materialization of the outline I had created had some limitations that were hard to easily overcome. One of the main characteristics of The Plan is that it was written with input/inspiration. A female reader of Side Effects that had always fantasized with being a mega-giantess loved Kelly's character so much that she started providing me feedback and giving me insights on how she saw some aspects of being a giantess or how she would have acted in some situations. She is the inspiration of Laura and while I wrote the story and outlined the plot and character development, the story was very influenced by her. This ended up having the effect that I focused entirely on developing her and "forgot" about developing other characters like Strauss or Stacy properly. I could have done it, but given the way I focused the story, it was not natural. 

I also acknowledge that I did not develop Laura's social activist side or the potential for her relationship with Stacy. In the first case I think it was driven by the evolution in the feedback/conversations I had with the lady that inspired the story. In the second, I decided that extending the story with a new arch (Laura's relationship with Stacy) might be counterproductive since it would have represented a change of tone. I thought it would be best to drive the story to its ending (which will happen soon) and set the grounds for a sequel (which I'm not sure at all will ever happen, since the universe I created for Laura is not that reusable and I have other stories that might work best for this).

So, while I think the story works well enough for what it is (an extended and evolutive ramage in the city novella), it's true that there was some potential in there that might now have been used as much as it could. Part of it might have been driven by the fact that in my attempt not to make Laura too similar to Kelly, I think I ended up boxing the character too much and removing part of the appeal Kelly had. 

As for her extended powers, there will be plenty of it in the final chapters of the story.

Thanks again for your feedback. I would love to read your thoughts about this and the story ending!

Cheers!

Reviewer: Divediveburners Signed starstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: March 05 2018 11:11 PM Title: Prologue

A page turner for sure, with the motivations for many characters laid plain to see. But that is the story's biggest strengths, and a critical weakness. 

Laura's thoughts, goals and dreams are all quite apparent from the start, as is her transition from well-intentioned extremist, to extremist. With that being said, what has been said, does not need to be said again. This, in my opinion, makes the alien perspective unneccessary, and I was quite tempted to skip their parts.

Which is a shame, because they are the most interesting characters in the story. True, almost no giggity-giggity from them, but it is fun to see the interactions between the two scientists. I am particularly interested in the "fail-safe".

I also am interested in a human-driven victory, even in the face of defeat. Perhaps it's my human pride or whatever, but it does get tiring to see people act incredibly stupid, or incredibly idiotic. But, since this story seems to be stretching for a lot longer, I'm still invested in what you have planned.

So far so good. You're excellent in illustrating a scene, and it is quite easy to imagine Lauren among the denizens of the doomed city. Lauren's general character, while not likeable per say, does give her life. I look forward for what you have in store.



Author's Response:

I wanted to thank you for the constructive criticism, letting me know the parts that you like and think that work and the ones that do not do so well. I found myself agreeing with a lot of what you said.

It's true that while Laura is not a plain character, her evolution is kind of predictable. She is certainly not likable. I had not realized (but I do now) that one of the additions to the story I thought would be original (the aliens' dialogue at the end of each chapter) was a bit redundant by the fact that Laura is easy enough to read. I guess I had Kelly (from my previous story Side Effects) in mind when I thought about adding this extra layer of interpretation, but while Laura and Kelly share a lot, I believe Kelly's inner thinking and evolution was better suited for this type of resource. I still think that the aliens work well enough, but it's true that they could have worked better in a different setup.

As for the idiotic response from the population, it is my interpretation on how masses would react if they were suddenly faced with such an awe-inspiring situation as the presence of a 1000-foot-tall young woman that immediately starts acting like she is in charge (and does not seem to mind killing thousands of them). Humans are smart, but masses tend to become less smart the greater the numbers are. It is arguable, in any case.

I hope that you will like what's coming, which will be different from what many readers might have thought at the beginning of the story precisely because of the transition you described so well as "from well-intentioned extremist to extremist". I had not thought on this definition, but it's very fitting, I think.

I hope that you will continue letting me know what you think.

Cheers!

Reviewer: atherfeet Signed [Report This]
Date: March 05 2018 3:54 AM Title: Prologue

This story is amazing so far! You’re one of the the few writers who manages to get me hooked to giantess stories, props for that :)

Author's Response:

Thanks! I'm glad that you are enjoying it. So, do you normally like something else than giantesses?

Reviewer: officerkc Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: January 05 2018 12:28 PM Title: Prologue

Good to see you back my man. Great fun set up so far!



Author's Response:

Thanks! It's good to be back too. I was looking forward to posting a new story and getting the feedback and interaction. I've been working on THe Plan for a long while; I hope that the results will be to everyone's satisfaction. 

Reviewer: Nostory Signed [Report This]
Date: January 04 2018 9:12 AM Title: Prologue

Wohoo! 



Author's Response:

:)

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