Reviewer: pixl8ed Signed [Report This]
Date: December 12 2017 6:01 AM Title: The Beast in the house

I feel a bit overwhelmed, like Alejandro.  “Okay, if you’re going to write so fast I have no chance to review, we’re gonna have to lay down some ground rules...”  Heehee.  Kidding of course.  Keep up you're most admirable pace, it's really great to get to enjoy such rapid updates.

First, the chapter with the families was excellent.  I loved seeing Ofelia and Lindsay push-back on Alexis, showing how supportive and protective the family is of Alejandro.  It was an especially significant gesture on Ofelia’s part, considering their past relationship.  Also, though, Lindsay is standing up to someone who is not just an adult, but the mother of someone she admires.  It was a nice, subtle way to show their strength in different and appropriate ways, Ofelia being protective while Linday is being actually supportive.


The teenage boys talked about sex.  No surprise.  But there was some candor there and depth.  Like you got to watch them become friends. 

In light of later developments, the dad’s talk made me wonder if Alejandro would like Japan.
But also, keeping in mind that they’re hyper-competitive biggies, the restraint with which they disagreed is very interesting.  An example, maybe, of exceptionally controlled fathers producing exceptional children?

Alejandro’s and Shannon’s catharsis was quite moving.  It took strength on both their parts to work through it and it was sweet and engaging for me as a reader.  They are both changing rapidly in each other’s company.  This is great character work on your part.  So often, in size fiction, conversations between biggies and tinies are simply both parties laying out their point of view, neither impacts the other, nothing changes.  It amounts to the biggie reminding the tiny of the power dynamic, we’ve seen it a million times.  But these two are effecting each other.  There is change and character growth.  It is so rewarding to see as a reader.

I hope in all the tears, Shannon’s idea of “getting the gang back together” doesn’t get completely lost.  It seems like something like that might be good for Alejandro and Shannon, maybe putting the arc of their relationship in perspective.

I’m curious to see if Alejandro is going to take Shannon’s idea of an “Ambassador to minorkind” as it is or if he will expand or alter the idea.

The way you have slowed the narrative in chapter 9 is interesting to me.  Now we are seeing and feeling things through Alejandro and we are getting things in hyper-detailed passages.  It makes him feel awake and alive, like a detective in a mystery novel, reaching out with his perception, searching for clues.
This is a brilliant piece of work on your part.  You are really making something that is an awesome addition to romantic size fiction.  Thank you for sharing this with us.

Peace

pix

Author's Response:

Thanks for the review ! I'm glad you liked the Bonus Chapter, it was harder to write than I had assumed it to be ^^

So far, I don't plan to use the gang, but I've some questions concernign travels inside the country for minors that I'll have to ask to NotSirk^^. As often, I hadn't even realized I had slowed the narrative, I just felt it was the right way to describe what was happening. Next chapter will be a little physical for our little hero, but nothing quite risqué... well, from Shannon's point of view !