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Reviewer: NotSirk Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: December 05 2017 12:06 PM Title: Chapter 3 : The aftermath

Oh! His name was Joseph! Well I feel silly. I'm bad with common names. Not that he's a person worth remembering.

Overall a very touching and detailed perspective on the dangers a minor can face. It would be rare for it to go that badly but yeah it's not all fun and games. I liked all the subtle nods to minor culture. Being slightly chunky little piggies for MAJORS to cuddle, some MAJORS seeing them as glorified pets, not being able to read and write (although that's been slowly changing. Alejandro is a prime example) Just good stuff. Alejandro is a layered character I just want to know more about! How does he handle different situations? How is he around MAJORS now? What would he do at a school like Winton where he'd be around them all the time? So many questions!

I laughed when Izzy was featured in a news article but honestly that is something Winton would brag about to encourage new minors. Good detail there. Also love the website.

I truly hope any fan of MAJOR/minor (Which is like ten people, sorry) read this gem. And yeah. I think Alejandro might have a cameo if I can figure out a believable reason for him to be at Winton.



Author's Response:

Haha, thanks a lot ! Well, touching on Alejandro's behaviour toward MAJORS... I see him as being a sort of Inverse-Rebecca. He's quite like Izzy in that he is extremely proud of his abilities and autonomy, and wants to be respected as an equal, but life as taught him to not be blunt with this idea. Power moves have to be made by minor, but not like those Cretinosaurus Rex the MAJORS sometimes do. For Alejandro, a power-move would be to use is very nature as a minor to get out of a bad situation, by playing on the widely shared "cute factor" that all minors have when it comes to MAJORS, with the added bonus of him being that poor little kitten with three legs still trying to advance and who's so cute and all that.

In a sense, I see Izzy as the autunomous, obllivious and frank minor. Alejandro would be the autnomous, cynical and frank minor. If he doesn't like a MAJOR, he'll say it to it. And then he'll had a punch in the guts : "You're offended, you big oaf ? What are you gonna do, eh ? Crush my arm ?", that kid of jab, where Izzy will insult and berate them more bluntly.

Just like Izzy, he's in a difficult place. He knows that if he want to have a lover, or found a family, he will end with a MAJOR, that's almost a given, minor are too few. But he doesn't trust them, they have to actually earn it and it's a case by case basis. So, he's attracted by MAJOR women physically, but those he has the hots for are often the one who see the minors are inherently incapable of being much more than a glorified pet. But he's quite sttuborn. If a girl wants to bond with him, she should better be ready to accept him as he is, because he sure as Hell won't change who he is to please a MAJOR... or anyone.

Anyway, thanks for the reviews !

Reviewer: pixl8ed Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: December 05 2017 11:42 AM Title: Chapter 3 : The aftermath

What a rewarding finish.  I got kinda choked up reading the last part.  The idea of minors tracking each other’s accomplishments, drawing courage from them and building their own character, using each other as inspiration is so natural.  It is a sentiment that is beautiful and true. 


I really enjoyed Alejandro’s character arc.  Telling his story out of sequence really brought the moments into sharp focus.  The technique sort of reminds me of the film Dunkirk, where the story is edited so that all the various strands of point of view come together at the end.  Very nice and sophisticated. 

I was moved by the doctor’s reaction.  It was a strong scene but still carried levels of meaning and implication.  Very good, deep story telling.

I still think that characters like his parents were neglected, but I think you are trying to illustrate how distant Alejandro is from them as opposed to Alaric.  Using the nickname Al for one of them was a little confusing as both of them could be an Al, I would say it would be better to go with something like Andy and Rick, just so there’s less guessing.  Though, yes, within the family, there would be no need as everyone would understand who was who.

Alejandro emerges as a strong but believable character.  He is self aware and thoughtful.  He is a tiny tower of virtue and I can see how he would demand you bring him to life.  Which you have done beautifully. 

Your story was truly wonderful and inspiring.  I hope you keep writing and sharing.  And don’t feel bad if you don’t get enough reviews (which can feel awful, I know) stories marked M/m tend to get neglected.  I hope you will take a que from Alejandro and find the motivation and inspiration within yourself and keep creating and sharing.  Great work.

Peace

pix



Author's Response:

Wow, thanks for the praise ! I'm not sure I deserve it but I'm glad. Honestly, I haven thought out this story, I wrote as I felt it needed to be told, so if I used some complicated technique, it was because I was too oblivious to even notice that, haha !

Yeah, Jules and Ofelia were really relegated to the background, but I felt it was Alejandro's story, so it was okay for me. perhaps one day I'll write something from their point of view, but I'm not sure. So far, I don't think that Alejandro's need to be more explored. Perhaps some day, but right now, he's rather content to be where he is. So far, I've a huge personal project of mine (writing a second manuscrit in the hope of being published) which is rather time-consuming, especially since I can only work on it after my job and sometimes inspiration eludes me. So, I can tell you : do not hold your breath for more of Alejandro, it won't be soon if it comes ^^ !

And, really, thanks again for the reviews !

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