Date: December 03 2017 6:26 AM Title: Chapter 2: The Thief
I just read both chapters and I like it. I think this is the first of your stories I read so I may check out your other ones soon.
You are a very descriptive writer, sometimes a little too much I think. At times you describe the environment or feeling he has, but sometimes I think there should be a clear statement, such as. "I'm climbing her sandal," or "I'm in her panties."
In those scenes, you describe the places, but I never really was able to imagine where it was until a few paragraphs in, and while it's fun to reread it, I would prefer not being confused for some parts.
Also, when Nancy was trying to fish Tom out of her panties, that scene was much longer than I anticipated and I thought she was searching him on the floor. Especially when she was asking "where are you Tommy?" I'm pretty sure her skin must be super sensitive down there to feel and know where he is.
I like Nancy's character. She has a sort of naughty/playful role which makes every scene much more enjoyable. The way she teases him and also how Tom describes her teasing is great.
Good choice with Nancy Archer. That helps me get a visual in my head. I can see her picking up Tom like she did in the film.
Just like what Aaron said. I'm also kind of a milf fan so I expecting Nancy to be older, but I also do like a playful younger woman too. At least she is older than Tom. Otherwise things would be even more awkward.
Is Tom in high school or college? I remember him being a junior, but I'm not sure how old is he. Since Nancy is 5 years older than him, she is either at college age, or slightly older which is perfect.
I like how Nancy is keeping her discovery of Tom a secret from his father. This could get really interesting if Nancy and his father do daily activities and Nancy uses this opportunity to connect with him while Tom helpless listens.
If I was Nancy, I would put Tom back in her panties. Best spot to humiliate him, and hide him from his father. For a bonus, it turns her on! With her sexy attitude, I think she will keep Tom down there again soon.
I can't wait for the next chapter!
Sorry for any confusion. You're right, I am way too descriptive. This is revenge for other writing I do where I must be sparse so the reader can imagine the scenario with just enough info. You know, normal, good writing.
Right about sensitivity of Nancy's lady parts too. Tommy is highschool age, Nancy college age. Milf fan as well here.
My other writing might bore you, I don't know. If printed out, it makes an impressive doorstop. :D
Thank you for taking the time to leave me a thoughtful review, TomSpeedy.
Date: December 02 2017 7:40 PM Title: Sunspots? You Kidding?
I really loved your Keepsake story and the pacing and buildup of it... but good grief, you went about 3 lines with this one and we're already inside her pussy. Can we get some context? =x
context theory one
Set up situation with no more planning than perhaps required of the opening lines of a joke. Dismiss any notion of a plot. Skip to the smutty punchline as quickly as possible.
context theory two
Take one tiny, one giantess, one Twister Party Game spinner, place into humungous steel drum. Shake. :)
Date: December 02 2017 4:39 PM Title: Sunspots? You Kidding?
Hey, nice to know I was missed,lol.
Seriously, your writing is just so natural and absolutely riveting to read. The third chapter needs to come soon because that was way too short. I know own from Linda and Bethany just how inventive your writing is.
Please keep this going. 😀
Don't you hate it when an author doesn't post everything at once... or worse, leaves something unfinished. (my stuff could be unfinished and I think it would be okay. Those dead horses sometimes need a rest. I've explored a lot of what I've wanted to explore with those stories. An eternal cliff hanger wouldn't be too bad I think.)
Date: December 02 2017 5:47 AM Title: Sunspots? You Kidding?
If there was any author that would get to me to actual log in and write a review it would be you. Far and away my favorite writer around here since minus stopped adding to his stories. I remember running to this site daily back when LTI and HWB were being updated on the regular.
Anyways enough fangirling over here. Back to this wonderfully writing piece. You certainly have a way of bringing the reader into the world you create. And I'm usually picky about unaware because if done wrong but let me tell you people. This is top notch prose. Continued or not, this story does well as a stand alone with a great tease at the end. And I may not frequent this site often but I still keep an eye out when whever I see a V11 update.
See, this is what happens when you spend good money to buy a reviewer. Just kidding. Thank you very very much for the kind words. I would really like someday to do a proper unaware story, but the level of detail I would want to include could cause a nervous breakdown. I don't read much unaware, but I like the idea of it even though the chance for a swift death is so high. Eh, I need to broaden my horizons, death at the end of something well explored isn't a bad thing I guess. Their all fictitious characters after all.
Date: December 01 2017 12:27 AM Title: Sunspots? You Kidding?
You are,in my opinion, far and away the best author on here. The details you describe almost put the reader in the place of the tiny protagonist. It's great to see you back and I can't wait to see how this goes. It will certainly be a cut above most of what I see on here.
If I can ask as well, will you be adding any chapters to House-sitting with Bethany?
Thank you! I don't believe you, of course, but that makes me feel like I haven't wasted an afternoon doodling this up.
I thought you fell off the face of the earth, glad to hear from you. I have added content to HWB that you suggested, but I cut it a bit short due to realism (is there such a thing when dealing with shrinking? Is that silly?)
Still plodding through HWB and I have done major rewrite to parts of the other stories as well. I want to add more to HWB soon. (Before the next Ice Age)
Thank you, PDawg!
Date: November 30 2017 8:43 PM Title: Sunspots? You Kidding?
Yo, this story has a great direction to it, I'd love to keep reading on! I support this endeavor lol
Excellent! I am glad you concur! I'll try and make more coherent sentences when I have some time. Thank you, sm7in!
Date: November 30 2017 8:23 PM Title: Sunspots? You Kidding?
Saw your name pop up and had to give this a whirl. Not really a fan of unaware personally but I really liked a lot of elements to this story.
Him being shrunken in a little garden that has railroad ties bordering it was really great. The whole scenario with the railroad ties, garden(preferably vegetables to flowers) with extremely soft rich soil has been a weird fantasy of mind ever since I read Summer Job by Cayce on this site and I was hoping to get a bit of that here but can't help but feel(at least from my point of view) that this scene felt like it was missing something. Even though I immensely enjoyed your descriptive details of her walking towards/into the garden with him at her toes trying to get her attention(maybe that could be used in one of you other stories) because when he finally has the realization that he'd rather get her attention than be left outside with all the horrible insects was very poignant.
As gross and disgusting as it was when her simple wiggle or shift of her toes squeezes him enough to cause not only intense nausea but the complete voiding of his bowels as well as vomiting his breakfast was completely horrifying. But then being rubbed into this sludge is what adheres him to her gigantic toe was not only extremely well written but very emasculating. All I can do is put myself in that scenario and shiver.
Your description of her pubic hair was perfect. I'd never read a single hair being described so coarse.(a car antenna sized fiberglass rod) Have never read it being described like that before thus making it extremely easy to visualize.
All and all a fantastic one shot.
PS I'm more of a traditional milf fan(like the mid thirties to mid forties) but Nancy has the perfect name for a milf so it's forgiven.
Also I hope that this doesn't mean you're burnt out writing the Linda, Jesse, Bethany and company stories. Those are by far my favorite but I did enjoy this.
Perhaps I should have given him more time to look around and realize the horror in store for him if he remains in the garden. I'm not into icky stuff, but it does come up sometimes in my junk. It's difficult to not go there once in a while when your dealing with people being handled and mishandled by the equivalent of strip mining equipment.
Burnt out? I guess, I don't know. Let's say inspiration is less frequent for those stories. I try and pack them full of stuff but sometimes it gets repetative, or at least feels like it.
I like Nancy because rightfully she should be out at some club or something. But she's got three separate distinct things that rule Tom: attraction, marital arrangement and now size.
I've always wanted to use nancy for a GTS for obvious reasons (Nancy Archer). :) Thank you, Aaron
Date: November 30 2017 3:37 PM Title: Sunspots? You Kidding?
Very cool well described story. Nancy sound Awesome. He's lucky that she found him. You really describe his being small in a large world very well. From her footsteps to being trapped by her toes. Now she has him.
Great first chapter,
Thank you very much, sir!