Date: October 19 2017 6:45 PM Title: A vital test
Interesting set up and you have a very expressive writing style. I like the multi-size world setting and Susan's squeamishness at the situation. Gentle but (partially) unwilling vore is something we don't see often.
My only criticism is that it might be easier to read if the large paragraphs were broken up a bit. For instance, dialgue is usually on its own rather than as part of a longer paragraph. Other than that, this is a good story.
Thanks for the review Pixis! I am glad you liked the first chapter. I have made the paragraphs a bit smaller in the second chapter. I am a big fan of your work.
Date: October 19 2017 2:59 PM Title: A vital test
Interesting concept. My only concern is the speed of the story. Not trying to say that this story should move a mile per hour, but I feel that at the moment, the story is moving way to fast, and should a least be slowed down a little bit. I also would appriciate if you could give more of a discription of each of the characters, because I feel like it is lacking some of those details. But besides that, keep up this story. I am very interested to see the future of this story, it is nice seeing another shrunk-vore story, a there have been very few of these stories on this site as of recently.
Thanks for the review, ap13rocks. I am glad you found my chapter interesting. I have slowed down a bit in my second chapter. I'll add a little more description to the characters in my upcoming reviews. Thanks again for the review! Really appreciate it!