[Report This]Date: October 21 2017 10:57 AM Title: Chapter 4: A minor/Excursion
Okay...okay! I got it! I got it...
..huh...whut? Mean pix? What time is it?
No...no...I figured it out....we gotta hate Ignacio now.
Mean pix....you hate everybody...you’re having an episode....go back to sleep...
No...no...I figured it out...
Figured what out?...
What does Ignacio do for a living?
Oh...we’re gonna Socratic method on this? Fine...he’s a construction worker.
Where did he meet Gloria and Izzy’s mom?
At college...well, Gloria...dunno if Izzy’s mom went.
But he did!
So.
He went to college and he makes his living as a construction worker. He’s taking a job that’s
beneath him.
Okay...you’re using criminal profiling techniques...you think he’s working in a job that’s beneath him because he feels guilty about something. Uh..okay...but you’re forgetting something Nancy Drew...you only use criminal profiling techniques when there’s been a crime committed. No crime has been committed except the airing of Little Housewives.
Ah, but there has...a whole bunch of tinies went away...Dark Ages...remember?
...you what now...?
What does Gloria do for a living?
Uh...she wears scrubs...so...something in medicine...doctor...nurse.
She drive a Lexus.
Okay...doctor...or scientist...researcher at best...
So doctors go to big colleges with other people who have similar aspirations....usually other science types... construction workers go to tech school...but they met at college...Hot Rod was her college nick name.
Okay..so..they both liked cars...they met at a fix it yourself kinda place, they had a thing and he wound up falling for Izzy’s mom after she burned him over Sabrina’s dad.
Ah...but...she sought him out 20 years later...that’s closer than fellow motorheads...she well off and smart...he’s gotta be more of a catch than that. She must see him as at least an equal. He was doing something at college that would make a med student get all melty with feelings. He was someone probably in the sciences....he was probably connected with this Francis Luke Renard.
Uh...it sounds like you’re about to say Ignacio committed genocide as his college thesis...
No. No. But, think about it...all the great scientists asked the really important question...did all their really important work...before they were 25...some research Ignacio was working on got adapted ....corrupted ... by this Francis Luke Renard.
Uuuuhhh....
Look how carefully he raised Izzy. All the tinies around her barely count as human...he brought her up to be someone we can recognize...a real person...he’s preserving that through her. He’s making up for his part in the ...disappearance of the humans. Plus notice how isolated he keeps her. How he lives with so little contact. She never mentions him bringing co-workers home. Adults that would be able to control themselves around her. But he’s living like he’s in hiding and keeping Izzy away from anyone that might recognize him.
Ah..so he chose a tiny woman for a wife out of guilt also..he needed to protect her and preserve her out of responsibility too? Maybe she was so awesome because he used some of his science stuff to preserve her intellect?
Oh! Good angle... I hadn’t though of that...maybe.
I was being sarcastic.
You're supposed to use the sarcastic voice when you do that...now I look foolish!
Look...the Major phenomenon has been going on for a while now. There are over 100 year old majors. This dark ages could have happened at any time...maybe before Ignacio was born.
Nope...Izzy’s car!
Izzy’s car? The mustang?
Yes...up to then there were lots of cars for tiny people....that’s a transitory model...so the dark ages ...the disappearance of all those tiny customers happened after. While Ignacio was an adult...at college probably.
Uh huh...so...your evidence is ...Ignacio is a construction worker who went to college. He’s got a super hot doctor for a girlfriend. And he’s an super exceptional father. That equals he’s participated in a mass murder. But wouldn’t he be, like, hunted or something?
Ah, but Christine the teacher called it “A Terrible Mistake.” With caps and everthing. But still ... she said Mistake. And he might have just been an enabler....some brain that solved some problem that made it all possible...his guilt could be all his own imagining... like Peter Parker.
Okay, mean pix, I’m sure Sirk....I mean Notsirk...what the hell is a sirk anyway? ...anyway....Notsirk has better things to do than hear your crazy insinuations of one of the only biggies in the story that doesn’t make us sick.
He said we could‘go hypothetical.”
Yeah....he doesn’t need to hear this...or your “Izzy’s vast underground complex with jumpsuited goons” idea. He might be working on chapter 5 or something. Leave him alone.
Hey...this is good stuff...
Go take yer meds!
But..but...
Fine...Ignacio is possibly guilty of a crime against humanity....
Or he’s secretly a producer on Little Housewives.
I’‘ve got a rolled up newspaper right here...
Allrightallrightallright....
Author's Response:
Haha! What is this?! Look I hate to break this to you but I am working on chapter 5, but it has next to nothing to do with the dark age. It's about Izzy going back to school and well......confronting people and eating pizza. That's all the hint you or anyone reading the reviews of a story that's off the first "most recent" page will get. Also I think you created a better explation and backstory for Ignacio then I did! Maybe he does have a credit on Little Housewives? It would explain how he afforded that house. The super expensive one with all the minor accommodations! Suspicious right? Or maybe I'm just messing with you now. There is stuff he keeps from his daughter, but what parent doesn't?
[Report This]Date: October 19 2017 4:51 AM Title: Chapter 4: A minor/Excursion
Oh, so your biggies are super big and strong and tough. They have some kind of mental super powers that they are allowed to exploit some poor person completely lacking agency to use. They are benefitting from some mysterious apolcalypse of the tinies, knowledge of which is kept suppressed ... because it’s embarrassing!?!?!? In short they have the whole world built for them and handed to them on a silver power....and now you want me to like them? Anything else you want for them....solid gold toilets? Space candy growing on trees? They’ve got enough!
Every single one of them sees Izzy as a potential target for bonding...and nothing else. No, hi Izzy. What’s your favorite subject? Read any good books? Just...hey potential mind rape victim... you know you like it...
And yes...I hold Brenda completely responsible. She knew she was a danger and yet she approached Izzy...as a target for her bonding crap. Izzy is kept ignorant and powerless by the world. She is completely lacking any agency in this situation. The law does nothing to protect her and sees Brenda as the only person who’s potential matters. And the fact that miss bubble gum stepped up so quickly to assure her that everything she did was okay just goes to show how worthless the world and its biggies are. Not to mention how those who stayed behind all had a good laugh at how they thought she got away with it while Izzy is still, basically, having the rest of her first day of supposed learning stolen from her...ha ha..so cute and beside, she’s only tiny, so no big deal. So, yeah, to heck with Brenda and her kind.
Gloria might say she loves Izzy...or wants to (nice out you left yourself, bitch) but all her actions seem more to be leading to either getting Izzy out of the house, so she can have dad all to her selfish self, or getting her stupid kid hooked up with a bonding victim. Or both.
Sabrina’s initial attitude of “you’re just some tiny thing that’s existence only has meaning when my kind gives it to you, so it’s okay for me to invade your space...and besides what are you gonna do to stop me?" might be changing. But that’s not earning her any slack in my eyes. Being less of a negative is not the same thing as being a positive. And I can understand Izzy giving her slack, this world has given her frightfully low standards in her relationships.
Unlike Izzy, I wasn’t raised in this world. So I can resent her being kept in a state of needing any of their help for her. Because, that’s where she is. Hers is a future of being dependant...and that’s all the world of biggies has to offer her.
She is one of the coolest characters in zize fiction and even she sees herself as having a “disablity.” That ain’t right.
Eeerrr...that went into a little longer and deeper rant than I planned... oh, well... uh...good story. Yeah, that’s what I want to say...good character and story.
Peace
pix
PS....okay, I wasn't going to mention this, because I want to like dad, but Izzy's story of the car leads be to one inescapable conclusion: If the ascention of the biggies happened in his lifetime, then dad MUST have been alive during this Dark Age...so it looks like he's lying when he says he doesn't know what it is. Though he does seem to miss things, maybe he just wasn't paying attention when a big chunk of the human race went away.
So, dad just made my list too. Maybe.
Author's Response:
Oh no! I would never tell you not to hate a character or in this case a group. The best part of reading these comments is seeing how different people interpret my writing. For instance to pick on deisel again. (when you gonna comment again deisel?) He likes Ms. Applegate. I only think she's okay. Just because I the author don't have much animosity toward MAJORS doesn't mean you can't hate them like the plague! I mean they're is a lot to hate. They do have all the power. Well maybe not ALL the power but more than a significant amount. Like 96.7% of the power. That's official now! That's canon!! Also they don't need your gold toilets. They have their own!!! That's official now too! Even if I never mention it once or mention one using a regular toilet. That's a mistake now! It's all GOLD baby!!
Also just shhhhh on the dark age. That's supposed to be a mystery and your just sniffing out details like a pig hunting truffles! It's like you got a taste of food then started reciting all its ingredients! Calm down Masterchef! Stop being so smart! Oh no! Did I just say that?! God I'm a monster!! Keep being smart!! Don't listen to me!
Thanks again for your input. It just might be making me a better writer.....maybe. And keep calling the MAJORS on their shit. No one else will. Well maybe someone else will? I don't control what people do.
[Report This]Date: October 18 2017 8:43 PM Title: Chapter 4: A minor/Excursion
So, uh....is Spooky gonna write the Dr Strange / Thor fist fight?
No, wait...Spooky is saying he finds my reviews predicable? Well! I could say the same thing about...
THA-WUP! (nice pix hits mean pix across the nose with a rolled up newspaper)
Hey! Waht da fuh...
FUMP
No! That’s Izzy’s line.
Hey, I did predict....
FUH-WAP!
Stop it! You’re lucky I let you say anything at about this chapter. I’m not gonna let you start some stoopid..thing... with Spooky in another author’s story review...go ahead...say your bit...
All right, there was one really obvious thing missing. One thing that would have been in the for front of my mind if I were Izzy. One question I would have absolutely HAD to ask Sabrina... “it’s pretty clear that bitch Brenda (insert Izzy-ism here)-ed up my memory...but I have some idea what happened...if I hadn’t...would you have told me?” That’s something that would have really stuck in my craw...caw? Whatever that’s called.
I really like the more thoughtful Izzy in this chapter, so I picture her going over the repercussions of the answer. Is she forcing Sabrina to choose between her best friend Mable (the bitch) and her? Can she really fault her for not tell the truth and being loyal and protective of her friend (like she failed to be for her?) Should she see it as being protective or just more biggie condescension if she said she wouldn’t? Or would it really be a case of those biggies being like they’ve all been so far; not really concerned with what happens to her because she’s only a tiny?
And partial amnesia sux too.
That gaping hole put aside for the moment...I really, really loved this chapter. Izzy is an engaging character even when she’s doing mundane stuff and failing at her main task. Though her apparent inability to research or plan is starting to wear on me as someone who is rooting for her. How hard is it to web search “best spicy rib sauce?” Or is that more restricted information?
I really wish she would try harder with her quips. Just because someone is a biggie doesn’t mean she should let them get the last word all the time. I mean, like when Gloria just had to try an pull her teeth with that “word to the wise” comment, she should have said something to the tune of “Thanks for reminding me that you have all the power and I don’t...I had forgotten that...” Because having goals and dreams shouldn’t be something she lets anyone use against her. If all it is is a way for her lose what tiny power she has....well...internet universiy is size neutral and the diploma is just as good.
And since my opinion of ...uh...bounding? No, that means jumping...right? My opinion of the bounded stuff has come up, I really have to observe; Let’s see...a complete loss of dignity and privacy and intelligence and you become a programmable drone...oh and amnesia and a splitting hang over.. why exactly would she ever want anything to do with this bounded nonsense again? I mean, it’s a super power for the scummy biggies...what on earth would it hold for her? Sure, worthless sniveler Peter would be all about the “feels good” part. But Izzy? All a relationship with a biggie has to offer her is something akin to a heroin addiction. And all the tinies are dummies. She should take a clue from those MGTOW (men going their own way) guys and just plan on a work from home job...hmmm...minors going their own way???
She really shouldn’t be afraid of finding some option other than being some big moron’s purse puppy. She should realize she’s seeking to define herself in terms of her relationship with what ever big idiot she winds up...she shouldn’t be afraid of being alone...she’s smart and she should be happy with herself. Then nobody can control or manipulate her.
Are you done, mean pix?
Well, I wanted to bring up the TV show as propaganda angle....
You’re done! My turn.
Okay, this was an absolutely excellent chapter! The characters were consistent and interesting. It was basically Izzy shopping and failing at her main task...and I couldn’t stop reading if I had wanted to.
The dialogue was snappy and rich and layered.
I didn’t even find Sabrina vomitous ...most of the time. I don’t like her or her mom, but I kinda sorta disliked them less this chapter.
Yeah, dad let me down...I hope it’s not going to be his one character beat... something’s going on..but..but...Gloria. He was still worthy of Izzy’s forgiveness and affection. Though, I’m getting a little bit tired of him surprising Izzy with news of how things are going and are going to go for her. And her letting him get away with it! She really should be asking more questions and at least making her desires known...and arguing for them when some stupid biggie authority figure poo poos them.
But I am so completely engaged with Izzy and her journey. You have really created a character who I love reading. I love when she tries, I love when she fails and keeps her chin up and I love when she succeeds.
I kinda love the cop scene and kinda hate Izzy fitting the stereo type. But, it’s that kind of world.
Great work...you...you...mad genius!
Just to be absolutely clear...Izzy can have Mr Cutty Cut Cuts...please. I really wanna stay on her good side. Jeez! Oh, and help yourself to Izzy-ism while you’re at it.
As far as taking a break goes...I say go for it. Just let Izzy sit in the back of your brain...planning...plotting ...scheming... just her ...and Mr Cutty Cut Cuts ... there...in your brain ... getting bored. It should work out fine.
Peace
pix
Author's Response:
*yawns*...*blink* *blink* okay another review from pix.....What's this thing about Spooky? What the hell is happening here?!
Anyways. Uh..? I'm slighty concerned of your disdain for the "biggies". They're not neccessarily meant to be likeable but they're not horrible people. Even Brenda the character who has commited the biggest fault to Izzellah didn't do it intentionally or maliciously. Did you know they were best friends in "Small" not that it matters here, the poor girl. I try to write all the characters to seem real. I don't think it works but know one's good or bad, just people. Peter's sweet and quiet and maybe kind of a dick because he's bonded with someone and thinks he's special. Izzellah's clever and resourceful but also foul mouthed and spiteful. Ignacio's a loving father who's also distracted by getting laid for the first time in years. But I'm glad you have strong emotions towards my characters even if most of them are negative. It means I'm doing something right.....Right? Maybe? Kinda?
You raised a good point about Izzy questioning Sabrina. I thought about it but it didn't quite feel right so early. I know it seems like they're getting a bit back on track but Izzellah still doesn't trust her. I'll strongly consider that angle. (Basically meaning yeah that will have to be brought up) so good for you for seeing that.
What else? What else? What Brenda did to Izzy wasn't really a bonding more like a half one. She was sending signals but Izzy wasn't sending them back if that's a good approximation. I mean I would know right? Jesus I'm screwed when it comes time to actually talk about it. Anyway the headache, the amnesia, they're all symptoms of two inexperience people bottching it, add some other variables like Brenda being a tier 3 and Izzy not bonding in over ten years and yeah the good time was fleeting but she paid for it in the morning. ...Y'know what just typing this make me kind of hate Brenda a little. Wow that girl's gonna have it rough!
Geez ummm? As far as Ignacio and Izzy. He's her kryptonite. If he said so she'd abandon all of her dreams and just stay home and be a good girl as terrible as that would be. He knows this and tries not to take advantage of it but you know by now how MAJORS are so I don't even have to say anything.
You don't like Little Housewives!!! Have you seen the ratings that show pulls in!? Yeah it's trash and propaganda. Yeah it promotes the minority of minors to be overly liberal with bonds as formula for success in this world. Yeah Monica Steeps is a petty, and vain woman with a horrible weave! But that's Hollywood sweetheart! Get with it!
Well this response was too long! I should really just stick to figuring out different ways to say "Thanks for commenting" and leave it at that. Thanks for commenting.
Also I really need to start thinking of more clever ways for Izzy to insult people but she gets sweary when she's angry.
Lates,
NotSirk
[Report This]Date: October 18 2017 4:14 PM Title: Chapter 4: A minor/Excursion
>Mr. Cutty Cut Cuts
Okay buddy.
Nice and long chapter, just the way I like them. Nice to see the frequent updates too.!
I'll give you five stars that don't really mean anything so other people can see this story which will one day become a classic and be read in English classes worldwide.
k
Author's Response:
Hey thanks for the fiver! Also English classes! I doubt it. I'm lucky people are even reading this for free. I doubt a whole class would tolerate sitting through this and probably being assigned homework based on it.
[Report This]Date: October 18 2017 7:14 AM Title: Chapter 4: A minor/Excursion
Lol. I could've predicted Pix's reaction to bonding. Interestingly, he did say one thing which resonated with me. I won't mention it specifically, unless I use it for inspiriation, in which case I'll toss some credit his way. :)
For the most part, however, I've thoroughly enjoyed the way you've presented bonding. It's only a small part of the story, so it should be palatable to most readers, regardless of whether or not they share Pix's inclinations.
I also like the Sabby/Izzy dynamic better in this story than in your previous one. Here we see a more submissive Sabby which I find refreshing.
I caution you about taking a break. You seem to be on a role with the chapters. I'm terrible because I never finish my free stories nowadays. My advice would be to keep striking while the iron is hot. If I ever get on a roll again, I'd like to keep writing feverishly until the fingertips bleed, because the hardest part for me is escaping the inertia of idleness. You've achieved escape velocity with these rapid chapters so don't lose it! Keep going until the world caves in around you! :)
Author's Response:
Bonding will become more fleshed out with time but the stories more about Izzellah finding her place. She can decide to move to Las Angeles and become a bond whore with her own reality show or maybe never bond at all! Who knows?
I can see how the dynamic's better between them in this story. They're not sister's. Sabrina's not borderline obsessive and in love with Izz. Izzellah's not two inches tall and coming off being a fairly mean spirited sister and daughter. That's why she hates Gloria you realize. It's her mom in another story universe. I find that personally hilarious. If Ignacio had picked literally any other woman! But yeah the dynamic is more healthy with a better back in forth. Izzellah doesn't have to fight Sabrina so much just to stay sane. Sabrina's not confused whether Izz is her toy or her sister. With all that being said I still like them in Small more. That tension in their relationship is more interesting because of it. They may never get it together.
Trust me I know the downsides of taking to long a break. Anyone remember MrSirk?! Huh? No one?! Yeah! Forget that loser like how he forgot his password and email. Moron. "I" won't let that happen this time. It's a pain having to start building any good will I have from scratch. Plus those old stories. THAT NO ONE SHOULD READ!........Are really embarrassing. Sound advice. Thank you.
[Report This]Date: October 18 2017 6:27 AM Title: Chapter 4: A minor/Excursion
Izzy reminds me so of a certain tiny lupine I know, a tremendous character and all around story.
Also don't steal unless it's somethng you can carry.
Author's Response:
And....I can't carry.....words! ö_ö...I may have made a terrible mistake. I wonder who this character she reminds you of is? I actually don't know.