Date: October 26 2017 3:53 PM Title: Chapter 4: The Red
Definitely going strong with your narrative and character development and I love it lol.
I've seen this scenario done in other stories, but nothing with this level of detail at all. I just really do love that about your story so far is how much detail you provide about what's going on at all times.
Seeing how Mira is combating her own inner demons.. (lul, pun?) it's interesting to see the next meeting for the two before school or whatever comes next at normal size.
Anthony's strange attraction to dominant woman is something I can relate too.. I kind of have the same preference I think. A woman who asserts her will is.. a turn on I guess? Or maybe i'm as weird as him, and why this story is so appealing to me.
THE ONLY critique I can offer in an even remotely negative aspect, is Mira's and anthony's feelings are... progressing pretty fast it seems. I dunno if that's just a surface thing or if they are like rapidly falling in love I suppose? I just enjoy the story so much that I don't wanna see the relationship blossom TOO fast I guess lol.. You are doing such a good job so far, I just want more XD
Good luck with the next one!
Author's Response:
Hey there MadHatter! Thanks so much for reading, I really appreciate how much you enjoy the story thus far, it really gives me the confidence to write, and not just this piece either. Personally, from me to you, thank you, friend, for supporting me since the beginning. I totally get your concern too, when writing the earliest parts I thought maybe the outline didn't convey the interaction at the same pace as I had envisioned my transition to the story, but trust me, they feel attraction to each other, but there's a lot to overcome before something...Major... Happens. Keep reading, and I'm sure you won't be disappointed. Its also got a fairly long way to go, my last story was about 120,000 words, and I have only taken a break from that to write this as my main project.
Date: October 26 2017 1:06 PM Title: Chapter 1: Decisions And Consequences
After reading through all four chapters there's one thing I have to say. Ahem, I normally don't review anyone's stories for a ton of reasons; but you my friend...Yes, you.
Have easily made a story that has easily jumped to my top five favorites. For whatever reason, I feel like I'm watching an anime, rather than visualizing real characters. Your detail and how you set the stage for the area to the clothing of your characters are phenomenal.
I can't wait to read more of what you have. You deserve a lot more reviews then what you already have. Keep writing man, I do want to see a completion of this.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much man for reading, and I'm very appreciative to hear that you thought my story was special enough to warrant a review, thanks for taking the time to do so, it makes me feel very special! I'm glad you're enjoying yourself, I really want to create a narrative that a vast demographic of people can have fun with, and I have a very slow-burn, long and drawn out writing style. I honestly hope I never complete this, and that might be odd of me to say, but I'm having so much fun writing it, that I never want it to end. Perhaps instead, because all things must come to an end, I'll have to write a sequel of kinds after its complete. Thanks again JT! I hope you enjoy everything to come!
Date: October 20 2017 9:02 PM Title: Chapter 3: Muderous Guilt
Another win man. If there is one thing I have to say about the story you are giving us, or to me at least, it's that you aren't throwing in mindless amounts of smut and such, but I STILL want to read all the details of whats going on, because with the way it's going, I imagine things will get a lot more interesting after this chapter really.
Like I said before though, definitely one of my "check every day for updates story" so I really hope the creative flow keeps going for you man!
Also, really think your strong suit right now is definitely slow character developement and that isn't a bad thing. Kinda reminds me of another authors stories I really liked, I think his name is sonicfan something, but he wrote some really good ones I liked to read cause they were more about the characters and a bit less about the fetish based stuff. It was great
Date: October 15 2017 9:03 PM Title: Chapter 2: The Food Chain
Not gonna even lie. This story just became one of my "check every day for an update" kind of story
Your attention to detail and the character development over just 2 chapters is so good. I really do want to see where this goes man!! Good luck with the next chapters!
Author's Response:
Thank you so much friend for all of your positive feedback! I really want to establish a narrative and delve into more than just the obvious, I always feel a little self-conscious about having a sword in two camps when it comes to this story's specific purpose. I want to write a something that can be engaging and meaningful, while simultaneously delivering on my preferred type of mature subject matter. Thanks so much for taking the time to review and respond! Hope you like the rest as it comes!
[Report This]Date: October 15 2017 6:23 PM Title: Chapter 1: Decisions And Consequences
Very well written, and I'm definitely interested to see where this goes!
Author's Response:
Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it so far and thanks for taking the time to review!
[Report This]Date: October 15 2017 8:28 AM Title: Chapter 1: Decisions And Consequences
This is very well written! With such an exciting and engaging premise like this, I really hope you continue! Thanks for sharing :)
Author's Response:
Thank you very much! I really want to make something that appeals more to just the obvious subject matter, and to a wider range of emotions! Thanks for taking the time tor review!
Date: October 11 2017 6:29 AM Title: Chapter 1: Decisions And Consequences
Wow I didn't expect that to happen.
I honestly thought it's going to be another boring tourchering story but you prove otherwise. It's hard to come by a good plot story is this site today and you seems to know how to do it right. Can't wait for more.
And by the way like, the black demon cherectar is so cool and horefing 😀
Author's Response:
I really enjoyed making the Black Demon, he'll have a lot more of a part to come as we go along, Thank you for reviewing and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!
Date: October 10 2017 11:41 PM Title: Chapter 1: Decisions And Consequences
Well this was a rather well done beginning. Established characters, a breif look at both personalities and a great start to a potentially amazing story I think. You attention to detail is great, and the interactions done well too.
If you were looking for some approval, you can have mine man! I look forward to where this goes, especially if every chapter is this large lol