Date: January 11 2018 7:58 AM Title: Chapter 41: anti-heroes pt 2
The cahpters about Emily gave us a nice peak inside her mind, I liked that.
Clyde and Jason are maybe a bit to fast to write off Mya as an ally, having an amazon to battle an amazon could come in handy.
I think the reason people really try so steer away from violent/cruel stories and to gentle is because after a certain point you really start to feel bad for the tortured main characters if the story is written very well. So basically, if your story is written well, people will complain about the violent/cruel parts.
Thank you for writing as always, and I am already looking forward to the next addition.
Yeah, the Emily bit kind of serves to take the whole picture in a different direction when paired with how Jason and Clyde act and what Steve and Malcolm add. Clyde never claimed to have model character but maybe Jason doesnt either. Or he could be over-exaggerating how mean or at least how out of line Emily actually was before he shrunk. Who knows.
Thank you for the review. Much appreciated.
Date: January 08 2018 9:55 PM Title: Chapter 41: anti-heroes pt 2
Damn, knew it was a bad idea for them to all help go after Emily. That poison ivy's a bitch.
You do a good job of showing both sides of the argument. Emily and her goons are definitely wrong for how they treat people but Jason and Clyde are a bit self absorbed themselves.
Still need to unearth Myas story in all this.
Sorry if I scared off any reviewers but I don't think thats really the cause of it. The violent stories just don't do well on this site, more heavily supported by gentle fans. Or the violent fans are just more of the lurking type I should say, since its obviously being read a ton.
Ironically this story started out heavy in violent gts action but evolved into a great adventure. I normally don't like so much actual story in my fetish stories, lol. This one is pretty great though.
I don't blame you for any reviewers. I was right there with you during that. It wasn't that people can't not like my stories, it was just his problem with the whole thing was just kind of odd to me. Admittedly though, that guy made me look at where I was going and try to elevate it to a different height. I thank him for it.
There is more Mya stuff coming in the next couple chapters. She still has a big part to play. Everyone does as I'm figuring out how to end this. I've got a few more set ups I need to tidy.
Date: January 07 2018 9:16 PM Title: Chapter 40: Anti-heroes?
This is really a great adventure and excellently written. Shame its not getting the attention it deserves.
I'm enjoyinng the heck out of it though! Thank you for that.
Not a big Clyde fan, he needs to shrink and get stomped *weg*
Yeah, it is what it is. I wish more people would give it some feedback, but I would guess that little discussion we had with the one guy who didn't praise the story IS somewhat off putting. As always, I enjoy reading what you think of it. For everyone else, all I can do is keep going until it's done. I'm on the downward slope now. Only two more days until Jason's parents get back.
Date: January 03 2018 10:38 PM Title: Chapter 39: 2 sides to every story final
Jason is definitely not as innocent as I first thought.
Emily better be careful with Mya, I think that one is her biggest challenge. Clyde will be her easiest lol. Poor Clyde.
I wonder though, if there is going to be more characters shrinking or if that was just for the dream sequence.
Date: December 24 2017 9:37 PM Title: Chapter 36: 2 sides to every story pt. 1
And some times dreams come true. Almost Emily time!
Im curious as to whether Mya stays friend or becomes foe. She was trying to warn Jason of her dark side.
Looking forward to more of this!
Date: December 11 2017 10:08 PM Title: Chapter 34: What we need is an out.
Clyde can be such a dick, lol Mya went off on him. I think Rachel may have already been abducted.
I thought the plan all along was to humiliate Emily and her friends with the video when they were shooting it. Thats going to put a dent in Emilys popularity for sure and probably seal all their fates, especially Jasons.
Speaking of Jason, he desperately needs to be back in Emilys clutches *weg*
I have the chapter you want. Its coming up in the next one or two chapters. I'm waiting on motivation.
Date: December 08 2017 12:20 PM Title: Chapter 1
This is one of those stories that starts out pretty ordinary, but the suddenly takes you on an adventure you never saw coming.
I was gonna say something about Mya being really mean, but fortunately it was just a dream, or so I hope.
Its a very good story, and thank you for writing it despite lazy reviewers like me!
Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to leave some feedback. I still don't really know what I'm doing with Mya yet, but Jason is safe for the time being anyway.
Date: December 07 2017 9:16 PM Title: Chapter 33: I have a side. . .
Had a feeling Mya could be worse than any of them.
But why or why couldnt she have acted on her impulses in the lab at Jasons house, lol.
Just the little sample size of what she did or didnt do (not sure whats going on there yet) was great.
Yeah, the events are supposed to be kind of hazy. Some things repeat or happen differently from time to time. Hopefully I can successfully portray it the way I'm seeing it in my head.
Date: December 02 2017 10:16 PM Title: Chapter 31: HgX
Yup, looks like Emily and her gang were genetically altered after all. Seems to explain her aggression and anger too.
By whos doing though? Hmm.
And, wonder if Jasons strength will be enough to counter Emilys.
I'm limited by spoilers for how much I can say right now. There is more information you need though. It's coming soon!
Date: November 28 2017 10:06 PM Title: Chapter 30
Not sure why more of them arent concerend about their fate besides Clyde.
Mya is a great ally to have. Shes the one person in the group that may not have anything to fear from Emily, surely she has something up her sleave to protect herself.
The rest? Deadmeat.
Date: November 27 2017 9:41 PM Title: Chapter 29: Something beneath the surface
I wonder if Emily suspects she is being set up. I love the plans you lay out, like Jasons escape with the help of Rachel and now this one. Creative.
I admire their will to fight but somehow this seems like a bad idea, if they actually succeed in covering Emily in that stuff *shudder*
And I dont know why but for some reason I dont think Jason will be all that safe at Myas, maybe Emily has that figured out.
Speaking of Mya, she may dole out the worst punishments on Jason of all of them if he gets on her bad side, wow.
It would be some crazy story telling if Emily was able to triple or quadruple cross them. I'm unfortunately not that good yet, but I had fun writing the next few chapters. Introducing some more new ideas and leads.
Date: November 23 2017 12:54 PM Title: Chapter 1
Loving the story so far but honestly the 'bait' in the trap for the latest chapter doesn't make any sense.
So Emily is supposed to assume that Clyde, knowing of Jasons new size invited Jason to brave the streets, cars and random pedestrians just to talk to him behind the back of a store?
Nah, here's what's going on. Emily has Jason's phone, because Rachel told her about it.
She went through it and that led her to Clyde, but she doesn't actually know for sure if Jason is with him or not.
So to set up the trap, Clyde texted Jason's phone acting like he doesn't know anything is going on, and Emily just came over and beat him up.
So now Emily thinks she is tricking Clyde into an ambush by pretending to be Jason.
If that makes sense lol
Date: November 21 2017 9:19 PM Title: Chapter 27: Dark knights pt.2
Haha, its like a story insdie a story. Fun stuff!
So is he going to be getting stronger and put up more of a fight? Is that whats being implied with Batman sequence? Or just that he can take more punishment before breaking *weg*
Theres also Courtney lurking out there (think that was her name), she must be planning to get her hands on him too.
He IS getting stronger, but this dream was more about how he feels right now. It's the first time in the story that he came out of one victorious, but it was because of his friends. He finally has the support he needs to do anything against his sister etc.
As for Courtney, at this point she doesn't actually know about Jason. She just has a dislike of Mya and because of it, stumbled across some information. She isnt one of Emily's "henchman" really. Right now all of Emily's minions are just "following orders" so to speak. She hasn't told them what she is actually after, just that Clyde is at fault, and that alone is enough for them to beat him up. (Which is an important detail for the future.)
Date: November 13 2017 9:48 PM Title: Chapter 25: Dark knights pt.1
This story has turned into quite an adventure! It's a shame more people arent giving it the accolades it deserves but, 53,000 reads, so its definitely being enjoyed.
So now Im wondering Jasons parents did some experiments with Emily and her friends if Im following Clydes line of thoughts correctly. Or Emily took it upon herself when she was younger to snoop through her dads notes and carried it out on her own.
Dream sequence is a nice touch, keep up the great work!
Thank you again! I always look forward to what you pick up on in the chapters. You are on the right track, but at this point, I'm not even sure the details of everything yet. It was just a seed I wanted to plant, and address it in a few chapters.
Date: November 08 2017 10:11 PM Title: Chapter 23: the calm before the storm.
Wow, Emily doesnt mess around, Jason is in serious trouble if she gets him back.
He should have known his sister would have turned that house upside down looking for him. He should have at least deleted the messages he sent from it. Or did he? Cant recall now. Maybe Emily just figured out it must have been Rachel who helped him.
Then there is Courtney still, wonder who gets thier hands on him first!
It was a chain of events. Emily already knew that Jason and Rachel were up to something because Kylie spied on them. Monday was just first time she'd seen Rachel since that night. The fact that Jason was gone, only added to what was going to happen to Rachel when Emily and her friends caught up with her. To be clear, Rachel sold Jason out after Emily "squeezed" her for information.
Date: November 05 2017 9:25 PM Title: Chapter 22:a friend in need
Uh ohhhh, looks like someone else is going to be acquring Jason soon. Wonder if Courtney is better or worse than Emily.
Right turn Clyde? Sorry, showing my age there, wonder if anyone else will get the reference.
You've got several different paths this story could take, imminent rescue by Clyde, a new adversary in Courtney, his partner in crime Rachel and of course old foes Emily and Kylie.
You have a great adventure going here!
Date: November 02 2017 9:07 PM Title: Chapter 21: foe or friend
Ah, ok, in regards to your response to my last review, makes more sense about Emilys reaction.
Jason really doesnt like Mya, really must be bitter rivals. She's not flat out rescuing him but shes not blowing him out of the water either. I'd say shes mostly friend but still putting herself first.
I figured his rescue was already well under way though, he got to his phone so he contacted someone. Then again, maybe he’s worried about surviving until he’s rescued!
Not a bad assessment on your part. It isn't that they are bitter rivals outside of this situation really. He is just upset that she says she cares about his mental health, but then turns around and plans to help screw him over. She is overall smarter than him in every field though. He looked at her more as an obstacle to overcome when he was full size.
As for the rest, you'll have to wait and see. I might be taking it beyond where people think it will span.
Date: October 31 2017 1:31 PM Title: Chapter 20: a new challenger approaches.
The great escape! Im not normally a fan of the "escape" story line but that was clever.
Emily actually seemed somewhat regretful, even concerned. See if she softens at all or if her rage gets the best of her if she discovers his escape plans.
Like the new character introduction too. Good job!
In my head, Emily's reaction was more fear of being judged by someone on the outside rather than actual regret. She cares what people think, only if she deems them worthy. That is why she trusted Rachel and Jason together in the first place. She expected their fear of her to keep them in line and to a degree, it had an effect on the plan.
Date: October 29 2017 9:33 PM Title: Chapter 18: spacific rim? Pt. 2
If this is your first story, you knocled it out of the park. I dont think I have ever seen this angle taken before, this shift to how he is coping with what he is going through.
Looking forward to seeing what you have planned for him here. I don't think he thought his night was going to end up like this after he hatched his plan with Rachel!
Date: October 27 2017 9:47 PM Title: Chapter 1
There is no need to get so heated on a fiction story on a fetish website guys, so don't go off the rails here with passion. We all have our kinks and opinions, you just gotta respect them here, it's why we come here to begin with. Understanding.
As for my opinion, I can agree where he is coming from when it comes to.. overly agressive family members not feeling great to me. It just feels unlikely that family has THAT much to hate about another family member. Especially at their age. Just seems crazy really, but that's the world of fiction I suppose. And as I said before in a previous story by Mrsirk, I couldn't agree much with the way the family handled eachother at all. It always felt too extreme..
As for the actual story review, this is an odd little bit of fun in this last chapter lol, I need to actually watch Pacific Rim I think though to understand what is going on maybe XD
As for the main story, the level if anger the sister is putting out is still pretty crazy even for a super enhanced kid to endure. it's definitely pretty nuts to expect him to fully recover from that... but that's once again up to the author right? I find the story interesting and I won't stop reading it as I have actually started to enjoy offering constructive critism on things. I've found quite a few gems on this site of authors who have a lot of talent for writing and I really appreciate those ones who put it out there for others to read on a site like this.
All I ask of any author really is to take any criticism with a grain of salt and not lose motivation. I already did that with a story I tried cause I was too much of a wuss to put it up. I may change my mind though so who knows!
Good luck with the story!
Lol I would definitely recommend seeing Pacific rim. It isn't exactly like this but it's still entertaining. I'm pumped for the sequel so I made this.
Also I don't really want to battle people in the review section. I'm done defending it now. The way I see it, people probably wouldn't say anything at all if the character wasn't interesting enough to care about so that is a good thing in my book.
This is my first attempt at a story anywhere, so people don't have a style reference on me, but I assure you that you are in good story telling hands here. . . . I think anyway.