Date: November 13 2017 9:48 PM Title: Chapter 25: Dark knights pt.1
This story has turned into quite an adventure! It's a shame more people arent giving it the accolades it deserves but, 53,000 reads, so its definitely being enjoyed.
So now Im wondering Jasons parents did some experiments with Emily and her friends if Im following Clydes line of thoughts correctly. Or Emily took it upon herself when she was younger to snoop through her dads notes and carried it out on her own.
Dream sequence is a nice touch, keep up the great work!
Thank you again! I always look forward to what you pick up on in the chapters. You are on the right track, but at this point, I'm not even sure the details of everything yet. It was just a seed I wanted to plant, and address it in a few chapters.
Date: November 08 2017 10:11 PM Title: Chapter 23: the calm before the storm.
Wow, Emily doesnt mess around, Jason is in serious trouble if she gets him back.
He should have known his sister would have turned that house upside down looking for him. He should have at least deleted the messages he sent from it. Or did he? Cant recall now. Maybe Emily just figured out it must have been Rachel who helped him.
Then there is Courtney still, wonder who gets thier hands on him first!
It was a chain of events. Emily already knew that Jason and Rachel were up to something because Kylie spied on them. Monday was just first time she'd seen Rachel since that night. The fact that Jason was gone, only added to what was going to happen to Rachel when Emily and her friends caught up with her. To be clear, Rachel sold Jason out after Emily "squeezed" her for information.
Date: November 05 2017 9:25 PM Title: Chapter 22:a friend in need
Uh ohhhh, looks like someone else is going to be acquring Jason soon. Wonder if Courtney is better or worse than Emily.
Right turn Clyde? Sorry, showing my age there, wonder if anyone else will get the reference.
You've got several different paths this story could take, imminent rescue by Clyde, a new adversary in Courtney, his partner in crime Rachel and of course old foes Emily and Kylie.
You have a great adventure going here!
Date: November 02 2017 9:07 PM Title: Chapter 21: foe or friend
Ah, ok, in regards to your response to my last review, makes more sense about Emilys reaction.
Jason really doesnt like Mya, really must be bitter rivals. She's not flat out rescuing him but shes not blowing him out of the water either. I'd say shes mostly friend but still putting herself first.
I figured his rescue was already well under way though, he got to his phone so he contacted someone. Then again, maybe he’s worried about surviving until he’s rescued!
Not a bad assessment on your part. It isn't that they are bitter rivals outside of this situation really. He is just upset that she says she cares about his mental health, but then turns around and plans to help screw him over. She is overall smarter than him in every field though. He looked at her more as an obstacle to overcome when he was full size.
As for the rest, you'll have to wait and see. I might be taking it beyond where people think it will span.
Date: October 31 2017 1:31 PM Title: Chapter 20: a new challenger approaches.
The great escape! Im not normally a fan of the "escape" story line but that was clever.
Emily actually seemed somewhat regretful, even concerned. See if she softens at all or if her rage gets the best of her if she discovers his escape plans.
Like the new character introduction too. Good job!
In my head, Emily's reaction was more fear of being judged by someone on the outside rather than actual regret. She cares what people think, only if she deems them worthy. That is why she trusted Rachel and Jason together in the first place. She expected their fear of her to keep them in line and to a degree, it had an effect on the plan.
Date: October 29 2017 9:33 PM Title: Chapter 18: spacific rim? Pt. 2
If this is your first story, you knocled it out of the park. I dont think I have ever seen this angle taken before, this shift to how he is coping with what he is going through.
Looking forward to seeing what you have planned for him here. I don't think he thought his night was going to end up like this after he hatched his plan with Rachel!
Date: October 27 2017 9:47 PM Title: Chapter 1
There is no need to get so heated on a fiction story on a fetish website guys, so don't go off the rails here with passion. We all have our kinks and opinions, you just gotta respect them here, it's why we come here to begin with. Understanding.
As for my opinion, I can agree where he is coming from when it comes to.. overly agressive family members not feeling great to me. It just feels unlikely that family has THAT much to hate about another family member. Especially at their age. Just seems crazy really, but that's the world of fiction I suppose. And as I said before in a previous story by Mrsirk, I couldn't agree much with the way the family handled eachother at all. It always felt too extreme..
As for the actual story review, this is an odd little bit of fun in this last chapter lol, I need to actually watch Pacific Rim I think though to understand what is going on maybe XD
As for the main story, the level if anger the sister is putting out is still pretty crazy even for a super enhanced kid to endure. it's definitely pretty nuts to expect him to fully recover from that... but that's once again up to the author right? I find the story interesting and I won't stop reading it as I have actually started to enjoy offering constructive critism on things. I've found quite a few gems on this site of authors who have a lot of talent for writing and I really appreciate those ones who put it out there for others to read on a site like this.
All I ask of any author really is to take any criticism with a grain of salt and not lose motivation. I already did that with a story I tried cause I was too much of a wuss to put it up. I may change my mind though so who knows!
Good luck with the story!
Lol I would definitely recommend seeing Pacific rim. It isn't exactly like this but it's still entertaining. I'm pumped for the sequel so I made this.
Also I don't really want to battle people in the review section. I'm done defending it now. The way I see it, people probably wouldn't say anything at all if the character wasn't interesting enough to care about so that is a good thing in my book.
This is my first attempt at a story anywhere, so people don't have a style reference on me, but I assure you that you are in good story telling hands here. . . . I think anyway.
Date: October 27 2017 9:41 PM Title: Chapter 17: spacific rim? Pt.1
Very creative! Nice job. I guess that's his real life body repairing itself in the last sentence there.
So Im wondering if he could be killed then? Emily crushed him good.
Last comment I am going to make on this, not going to derail your story. Defiad, would it have been so hard to say what you did in your second paragraph while saying you don't think its a very realistic relationship between siblings? Don't be a dick about it when leaving reviews. And you live a sheltered life, I know people who have had very fucked up upbringings and hate their siblings/parents. Dont assume every one lives in Mr Rodgers neighborhood.
I view this more as his mind grappling with the situation. Just like the simulator chapter, he is evaluating his level of control and the whole thing is beginning to take its toll.
Date: October 27 2017 3:58 PM Title: Chapter 1
I'm not critizing the story because it doesn't "cater to my fetish", I'm fine with stories that have cruel/slightly sadistic characters in them when it makes sense. Get off your high horse, it isn't rude to critize a god damn story. Assuming makes an ass out of you and me.
You want me to praise this story? Fine. The details of what Jason does and the environment around him is very vivid and a delight to read, the descriptions of what happens to him can easily be seen in the mind's eye. Stevie is showing us the story, not telling us the story, which is a plus. The writing of the other characters is...well not good though.
I won't stop myself from reviewing a story because some arrogant arse has a self righteous opinion. Yes, there are almost too many gentle stories, but realism is important if you want most people to take the story seriously or even to stay interested. Real siblings would NOT do this to each other, and if they would...well they need to be put into an asylum. I apologize, Stevie; this is just my opinion on the story. Please, don't be discouraged by my review though, my intent isn't to shit on a story, its to give you a reason to think of what to improve.
I'm not discouraged. Personally I just think that you have an odd place where you choose to draw your line of disbelief. You're reading a story of giants, shrinking, and super powers and how the siblings act is what bothers you. I have things in the works that seem to be far beyond the credit you're giving the story.(as arrogant as that sounds, I know). Everything you've read so far has significance and will come into play. Just let me tell the story lol.
All I ask is for you to think about what you're more or less asking for. Jason has accident. Jason gets Emily's attention. Emily promptly helps him. Parents come home. Dad reverses process. Everyone lives happily ever after. The whole story in one chapter and 22 words.
Date: October 26 2017 9:41 PM Title: Chapter 16: the hills have eyes
*sigh* Never fails. There are so few stories of this nature that are actually written well on this site and any time there is one, a person like Defiad comes along to spew his hate for the genre and try and ruin it for those of us that like it. I cant even read gentle stuff anymore as it just makes me want to vomit but I don’t go around to all the gentle stories pissing on the author and his story. Why? Because its rude to criticize a story just because it doesn’t cater to your fetish. Go read the zillions of gentle crap stories on here if this one isn’t your cup of tea.
Fortunately, you don’t seem to be the fragile author type that stops writing after such criticism. As I have said, this story is very well written and despite Defids naivety that there are no people in the world who do unsavory things, there unfortunately are but seeing as this is just fiction and no one is actually getting hurt, it has been a very enjoyable read and one that totally feeds my attraction to the shrinking fantasy. Emily is a great giantess!
Rant over. Back to the story. I don’t know what their escape plan is they but better hurry, Emily took it up a notch there, might not make it until his parents get back. Of course, Im not actually rooting for team Jason and Rachel *weg*
It's all good, I respect people's opinions and it gives me something to think about. The thing is, I can't say much without spoilers. All I can say is keep reading if you like any one element of this. I try to post every other day but I might drop another tomorrow.
Date: October 26 2017 8:57 PM Title: Chapter 16: the hills have eyes
It really is disappointing that the vast majority of giantess/shrink fiction is filled with sociopathic to psychopathic characters. Your story, while fairly well written in terms of prose and vocabulary seems very shallow to me as just torture porn. But that might just be me, I've read so far hoping that some kind of interesting story dynamic might hit or ya know, the characters would act like actual humans, but sadly it is a hit and a miss. Instead, all I've seen is "Jason tries to be reasonable/tries to escape his sadistic tormentors. He fails, he gets beaten the shit out of him by people who are supposed to love him." over and over and over.
I appreciate an honest opinion, although it would be a pretty short story if things just worked out. If characters don't hit a low, then any rise means nothing. You're right that there is really only a couple sides to the fetish, but what would be the point of having large size without the power that would come with it? That being said, I am working towards something bigger.
Thank you though. Any comment or review is better than nothing.
Date: October 26 2017 3:59 PM Title: Chapter 1
I actually just sat down and read all the available chapters today and found this one to be rather enjoyable to read. I'm not the largest fan of the feet aspect really, but just about anything else is fair game lol.
I do have to ask, do the sisters just hate the brother because he's smarter then them or they consider him a nerd only? I mentioned this before in another authors story, that it just feels odd for family to be so hateful to one another that they take stuff as far as this in even a fiction sometimes. I know families don't always see eye to eye, and some are far worse then others, but just being hateful to a brother because he doesn't share the same interests as them and they consider him a pain? That seems harsh.
At least the little sister seems to have a SMALL concience.. wonder if it will grow at all.
That's a decent question. I'd say Kylie ( the younger sister) is just more in the moment. Her first thought was to get help but the conversation broke down. She is mean to him, but only usually after provocation or peer pressure. She still views him as her brother though and that is why she feels bad. She is sort of torn between siblings.
Emily and her brother have a rougher relationship even when it was full size. She had resent for the fact that their dad gives him the most attention. It's more of a power play because she was always bigger than him anyway. There is still love maybe deep down, but the chance to mess with him, added to his durability and attitude give you what you have I guess.
Mix that with the realm of fiction. Makes for ok re-readability I think.
Date: October 23 2017 8:38 PM Title: Chapter 14
Ha, love how Kylie got back at Jason, wickedly clever girl.
And Emily seeing how completely recovered he is from her abuse, that definitley should scare the crap out of Jason.
I wonder how far she will go pushing boundries.
Date: October 22 2017 8:18 PM Title: Chapter 13: [ending simulation]
Sucks for him great for Emily.
Go team Emily! lol
Interesting concept. Probably make a good story.
I think I actually mention something about "team Emily" in the coming chapters. I'm going to try to post more often until I burn up the chapters I have stored up. I'm at the point where I don't remember all the things I've written.
Date: October 15 2017 9:04 PM Title: Chapter 10 a slip of the tongue.
I think you're doing fine with it. The little battle he and Kylie had was good, strong but not enough to beat her and certainly not enought to beat Emily. The durable aspect is the most important part for me, Im not a big fan of the tinies winning.
Close call there being found by Emily, I dont think his luck will last much longer!