Reviewer: Jacksmith Signed [Report This]
Date: September 09 2017 2:18 PM Title: Chapter 2: Meet the Family

Good start so far. It's a very capable take on this hyper-specific subgenre within a subgenre. There's definitely a tonal commitment which keeps the reader from questioning the actions of the antagonists, so it's a nice action-focused read.

A couple little points. The foot action is fun but leans on a lot of the same couple of adjectives a lot of the time. Nobody's saying you can't do that in bursts (God knows I do it a lot myself) but if the story is foot focused, you'll probably want to find a couple more ways to keep the descriptions fresh. Also, unless the all-capitals dialogue for giant characters is something you personally really dig, I'd advise switching it back to lowercase; it never comes off well in other stories.

Again, solid beginning. You obviously have a firm grasp on the direction of this thing.

Author's Response:

I really appreciate the review and feedback.  I really enjoy the stories that you write.

I'll make sure I'm more conscious about same adjective usage going forward.  It was something I was aware of initially but I hadn't realized how much I relied on the same adjectives.  I got a bit carried away.  I'll try to find different ways to describe the descriptions to keep it fresh as you said.  The all caps dialogue is supposed to be just when he is near one of the giants' faces but I can see how it can kind of throw off the story and I'll probabl refrain from doing it in future chapters.

Thanks again for the review!