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Reviewer: johnsmith10992 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: August 21 2017 7:34 AM Title: Chapter 1

Great start! One thing that bothers me though. In your description you say BBQ, do you perhaps mean BBW as in Big Beautiful Woman? I've never heard of a woman described as "a BBQ woman."



Author's Response: Auto corect em I rite

Reviewer: D W Signed [Report This]
Date: August 20 2017 10:02 PM Title: Chapter 1

Your story is straight and to the point.  Sometimes it's nice to read a story that doesn't bother with long winded developement but rather just gets to the good parts like yours does.

I would suggest a grammar review and spell check.  Other than that it's fine.

As to the teacher, not exactly my vision of a teacher whose butt crack I'd want to be in; but it be nice if Gary get's sucked up her butthole only to find a bunch of other students stuck up there.  HE HE HE HE HE



Author's Response: Glad u enjoy it. This was a response to a challenge so I didn't pick the plot

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