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Reviewer: D W Signed [Report This]
Date: July 17 2017 9:07 AM Title: The awakening

Nice start, lot's of places to go with it.  It would have been nice if the main reason he couldn't get out of the bra was the shear size of the bra cup, HUGE!

If I could make a crtitique, do a quick proof read to clean up some of the spelling and grammar before posting.  Other than that you have a pleasant writing style.  The plot and words flow together to make reading your story highly enjoyable.

I especially like the little witicisms, "I'm not a scientist, sue me." is funny.

Keep writing this.

Reviewer: Shaman Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 15 2017 11:04 AM Title: The awakening

Interesting start, I'll be waiting for the next!

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