Date: October 04 2017 3:47 PM Title: Chapter 1: Izzellah
Thank you for the answer. Well, if the story isn't actually over, my reservations about the characters arcs feeling cut short obviously don't apply anymore, nor does the ending feel unsatisfying!
I look forward to reading the continuation!
Date: October 03 2017 12:26 PM Title: Chapter 1: Izzellah
First thing first, I wanted to thank you for writing this story. I thoroughly enjoyed it and it ended up being one of my favourites on this site, regardless of any comment that will follow, with its characters feeling real and alive and it hitting all the sweet spots that I like in a shrinking story. That said, I really don't know I to feel about the ending...
Up to the second to last chapter, the characters seemed to follow clear arcs leading to mutual understanding and compromise. How else to interpret Sabrina trying to undrstand Izzy's feelings and considering giving her more freedom, or the incident itself occurring to Izzy the moment she left her sister's care? The protagonists succumbing to their flaws rather than overcoming them, aided by extraordinary circumstances, felt kind of abrupt, and it's especially hard to justify Izzy, whose actions seem dictated by a selfishness and pride that clash with her dad's desire for her to take care of her sister, and Sabrina's attempts to make her happy, despite her clear immaturity. Yes, Izzy wasn't a good big sister, but it's never too late! Sabrina was already kind of starting to look up to her in chapter 10, when she after more like a responsable adult.
I guess in the end it all depends in whether there will be a continuation or not, but even then, it's hard to imagine things ever being the sale for the sisters after Izzy's decision...
Anyway, sorry for the rant (and for the bad english), I guess I got too invested in the story! Thank you again for writing it, I hope to read from you again soon!
"it's especially hard to justify Izzy, whose actions seem dictated by a selfishness and pride that clash with her dad's desire for her to take care of her sister, and Sabrina's attempts to make her happy,"-nessi
I think you understand the ending perfectly. As I said to MadHatter I think the ending shows Izzy's big character flaw. I blame myself for not successfully communicating that. Next time. *looks at horizon* Also I'm bad at English and it is my first language......and my ONLY language. I should really get a Rosetta stone or something....Ummm opps sorry.
Anyway thanks for the comments and insight. And I'll tell you no I'm not done with these characters. When that will happen I don't know. Sometime this year hopefully right? Glad you enjoyed the story even if the ending seems a little forced or rushed or unsatisfying. Thank you!
Date: October 02 2017 7:33 PM Title: Chapter 15: The Fall
I have to say that you did Real I R S proud. It was fun and well written. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
You have been a great commentor diesel! And guess what? You're the only one who can recognize their direct influence on this story! Well except realRS. realRS is responsible for this story even existing........But you get the silver medal! Almost as good! Mrs. Nelson thanks you! Everyone else gets a dumb bronze one. They'll never know how their comments may have impacted my writing. Too bad for them. But they did help.
Date: October 02 2017 1:38 AM Title: Chapter 1: Izzellah
Excellent story! I was curious as to who it was who crushed her arm (who did the black and red sneaker belong to?) Meh, maybe I'm the only one who cares about such insignificant details.
Yes who did the sneaker belong to!? One of many mysteries like where was Rebecca at the party? Was she at the party? Why was it mentioned then? Lets find out!.....Eventually.
Date: October 01 2017 10:48 AM Title: Chapter 15: The Fall
Sham? Not even close, this was amazing.
I would love to see more of Izzy/Sabrina's adventures down the road.
Not a sham?! Validation!....Honestly I'm just overly critical of my work. It helps prevent disappointment but also means I'll never be happy. 0_0
I too would love to read the continued adventures of Izzy and Sabrina. Someone should get to writing that..........Oh, I have to write it?!....dammit.
Date: October 01 2017 7:07 AM Title: Chapter 15: The Fall
Overall I really enjoyed the story I liked that Izzy did not just roll over and accept the fact that, she was small (no pun intended) and tried to be as independent as possible despite her size.
I really liked the interactions between the Ivory family with Gloria adjusting to the fact that one of her daughters had shrunk and Sabrina having to become Izzy's protector in a world where anything could have caused her great harm
Can't wait to see what you do next.
Thank Nodgfan. I'm glad people enjoyed my story. I hope you look forward to what comes next whatever it is and are still around whenever it happens......Maybe a non canon spin off where Sabrina grows instead of Izzellah shrinking? She'll still practice the same dominance over her "Little Sis" but with completely different context! Hrmmmmmm.....No that's dumb.
Date: September 30 2017 10:31 PM Title: Chapter 1: Izzellah
I waited to add a last review until the final chapter was released this time. And for the record you never really made me mad or something, I just have a hard time picturing that uncaring of a family dynamic is all... Maybe i'm a weird one. And on the record for sure, I actually REALLY like your attention to detail and characters you made. If they were boring, I wouldn't have had anything to say at all now would I :D
Anyway, I was legit looking forward to the final chapter and maybe even and epilogue after your chapter "crush". I thought you were heading for that mutual ending where everyone begins to see a little more eye to eye and starts to respect Izzy's feelings more, especially after the ending of the chapter...
The interactions and development in the chapter "crush" to me were great. Finally saw her mom truly being a mom and that was awesome to me, I didn't feel like she was being a bitch at all anymore. It was well done man, and definitely felt right.
The theropist was odd in this chapter though.. I would have thought she wouldn't have been that vindictive to Izzy given she wasn't doing anything wrong at all. That felt oddly misplaced for her character if she was really trying to "help" anyone...
Brenda turned out to be an interesting character as well to me. The girl who had a crush on Izzy for a long time finally alone with her for the first time and Izzy's first time seeing someone she called a friend without her sister or anyone else around. I really thought this was done well too. You do great with detail and context man, and I enjoy it very much lol
The interactions between her sister and her friends were good too.. different opinions from other sources on her treamment of Izzy and her true feelings being put into thought about how she wanted this to happen to Izzy or at least something bad per say, and how she was feeling then. This was good as well how you handled it. It had promise for Sabrina maybe trying to find a happy medium with her sister finally.
And then I read the final chapter... I really don't know what to say exactly on it.
I really saw it going somewhere else... I had forseen Izzy maybe accepting her status a little more and her family beginning to work WITH her rather then treating her like an object. They already listened to her, but ignored anything she wanted. It just felt bad really. My ending was completely different from this outcome you had. I honestly wonder why you went this route legitamtely? I'm curious to why you felt she just had to go through with something like that after what had JUST happened..
It just really confuses me is all. I honestly felt the family could work it out in the end, even with her injury and trauma... why end it like this then?
Reagardless of my winded thoughts, it was a good read and I wait patiently for your next one to show up in the recent updates feed!
Ah MadHatter coming through with another good comment!
First things first I', kind of happy you feel the way you do about the ending although I will say it's a failing on my part if you didn't see it coming. I obviously didn't foreshadow it enough. It's weird because in my head that's the only ending that could happen. The happy ending you speak of could've happened. They were so close. It would've been so easy. And that's why I didn't go for it. Without going into a whole character synopsis I think it shows Izzy's biggest character flaw and it's something she realizes after crush. Maybe it happened to early, maybe I could've squeezed out a few more chapters but I didn't want to drag the story long. It was originally ten chapters when I outlined it. Maybe it would've benefited with a moment to breath first. Something I'll consider next time. And in a way I still think it's a happy ending,
Did you know "Crush is probably the chapter I was most worried about? I'm glad at least one person enjoyed it. I didn't know if Brenda's relationship with Izzy had any impact or felt real. Brenda was barely featured in two chapters than gone until the end.So at least I did one thing right
Mrs. Nelson as coined by deisel although I prefer "Eddie" I can see why her actions might come as a surprise because her character hasn't been fleshed out all the way. I tried to hint at somethings, but you can't win em all. She's still pretty important though so maybe I'll do a better job in the future.
And as the family dynamic? Well I never saw it as uncaring. I tried to show from the very first moment Izzy shrunk that her mom knew she would leave or at least try. That's why she came off as a little cruel or uncaring. Shrinking isn't the worst thing that would happen to Izzy in the outside world. Not by a longshot. And Gloria knew that and she'd prepared for it since her daughter was ten and begging to follow her father to Mexico. That's why she kept the tags up for that stupid mustang!
From Sabrina's perspective I keep telling myself she's twelve. To me that justifies her actions and failure to understand Izzy's feelings. It's an age where you start to think your figuring stuff out but don't really know anything. In my opinion if Sabrina had just taken Izzellah outside after the chapter "Therapy" and just said "go" that happy ending you spoke of would've happened cause all Izzy wanted was an opportunity and to know Sabrina looked up to her and believed in her. She didn't though. She just held on tighter.
Well now that I've completely ruined the story by explaing it I'll say thanks MadHatter. I knew you weren't actually mad it was just a joke on your name. These characters aren't done, so look forward to that. Be seeing you around...or well not really because this is the internet...and a writing based website. Uhhhh...be maybe reading a comment from youor story in the future perhaps? Does that work? Whatever. If you have more questions just drop a comment If you haven't noticed by now I like talking. Later days.
Date: September 28 2017 4:02 PM Title: Chapter 14: Crush
Poor Izzy but I am glad she has a friend in Brenda at least. Also curious where Mei fits into all this.
Hmmmm, yes. Where does Mei fit into all this? That contact information might be valuable in the future, or y'know maybe it won't be and I'll forget all about it.
Date: September 28 2017 1:52 PM Title: Chapter 14: Crush
I wonder whom the sneaker belongs to? It'd be hilarious if it was Peter.
Uh..........I can niether confirm nor deny the owner of said sneaker. Also I think you and Peter have two drastically different opinions on humor.
Date: September 25 2017 7:16 PM Title: Chapter 13: Fracture
Love the new clothes store. Will Mrs. Nelson put izzy back together. Will she babysit her?
Probably not friend. Keep reading thought. Mrs. Nelson's pretty important to the overall story by this point.
Date: September 22 2017 8:11 PM Title: Chapter 12: Ivory vs Ivory
Possibly your best chapter yet. Loved izzys getting clean in the shower. Sabrina lifting her by her hair was an awesome display of power.
Gloria being answered with Yes Ma'am shows her ultimate power.
Love seeing Mrs. Nelson. She rules.
Will Miss Applegate handle either of the little people in her class? Love to see the little boy in her hands.
A fantastic chapter,
Date: September 21 2017 6:11 PM Title: Chapter 13: Fracture
Nice to see it took a possibly serious injury to break through to Sab, great chapter and looking forward to how it ends up.
Thank you for your supportive comments. I hope you enjoy how this all turns out.
Date: September 21 2017 5:25 PM Title: Chapter 13: Fracture
Ouch, hope Izzy's alright good thing her mother's a doctor otherwise she'd be kind of screwed well she still may be considering her mother's buzzed and all that.
Anyway, great chapter I like the idea of sleepover so Izzy can get to know all of Sabrina's friends. Who knows it might also change Izzy's mind on running away in the end. Actually, now that, I think can she really run away with being chipped and her location is known at all times?
The sleepover is something that will happen eventually. There is a plan for Izzy where being chipped comes into play and a long term solution to that issue. Don't worry things will work out.
Date: September 18 2017 10:40 AM Title: Chapter 11: Therapy
Loved Mrs. Nelson. This is good.
It was all for YOU diesel! It was ALL for you!!........Well not really but like I said changing a name is easy. I might change it again on a whim because I'm very likely the most animated author on this site! Don't quote me on that. I don't need that following me.
Date: September 15 2017 1:58 AM Title: Chapter 12: Ivory vs Ivory
This was a really fun chapter, even if it wasn't quite as introspective as the previous one.
I'm still sad that the story is about to end though. Assuming the protagonists next will end up finding a compromise and making up, it would be nice to follow their lives and the evolution of their relationship for a longer time.
Yes it would be very nice to do all those things I agree. :)