Date: May 22 2017 2:31 PM Title: An Alternate Ending (Now With Death!)
Great alternate ending. Does this mean we wont get to see Amber become a replacement?
Author's Response: Sorry, but no. If I did, it would just be a slightly different telling of the original story.
Date: May 21 2017 5:54 AM Title: A Rude Awakening
Too sick. My god man, it may be fiction but you're advocating paedophilia and Incest. I really think you should speak to somebody.
Author's Response: I understand. This final chapter is very disturbing. When I wrote it I thought, "What is wrong with me! I don't want to normalize pedophilia or incest." Both of which I do find morally wrong in real life. But in a fictional world with made up characters, I don't see it as much of a problem. I don't know. In real life, this situation would be disgusting and messed up to me. But in a story, I just find it cute and charming. Anyway, I really hope this didn't ruin the whole story for you.
Date: May 21 2017 3:45 AM Title: Bottoms Up!
oh :( I hate happy endings, I was hoping for a very dark unfortunate one. too bad.
Author's Response: Yeah, cruel endings can be great. But once I started writing, I couldn't bring myself to make Ashley evil. My original ending, in fact, was a very cruel one.
Date: May 18 2017 11:50 PM Title: A Rude Awakening
Now he's pissed her off! Things aren't looking so good for him now! Lol maybe she will even get someone else involved to torture him.. Maybe the other woman be his mother and she will be unaware of him?! Lol love the gas parts... I hope that continues? 🙏🏻
Author's Response: Somebody new is coming in, but not for torturing Tom in the way you'd expect... And I threw in one final fart gag just for you!
Date: May 18 2017 10:06 PM Title: A Rude Awakening
really good story keep it up, hope it doesn't end too soon, maybe make the chapters a big longer
Author's Response: I like to keep the chapters somewhat short to help with navigating the story, but thanks for the suggestion.
Date: May 18 2017 2:27 PM Title: Chocolate Rain
You got me a bit wrong there, and I disagree. Sometimes cliches work fine, but here, not very much in my opinion. It just "force" the plo a bit out of niveau, sorry it is a bit hard for me to make myself exlain to you what I truly mean. It lowers just the niveau of the plot, you know? I like horror plots way more, and horror scat plots are one of my favorites. Imagine her sitting on his face, wit him for example having a o-ring mask, and he was tied so he can't move, and then write out, in a very dark way, how she for example was pissing in his mouth, and him gagging unable to breath and so had to swallow, her anus was posioning and rubbing against his mouth. Then the shocking moment "some silence" parts of her suddenly slide a bit forward and positioning her anus directly over his mouth, trying to pin point so it was totally sealed, and then the true horror happening, of her taking a long snake like turd slowlym then coming faster, out of her anus, and the shock on his face, how it was slowly sliding over his tongue, the first taste hitting him, and so on. Then when it is "ruined" with Laxatives, Taco Bell, Burritos... it wouldn't make a large in one slide turd, which is just so much better in my opinion, then just "boring" diarrhea. The turd would literally fill his mouth mouth then start to poke against his throat, him rendering unable to breath, then it would force up more and more until... his eyes bulgge out and the turd literall going down his throat, and then coming against faster. This is good forced scat porn.
Author's Response: Okay, I understand now. It wasn't the food she ate that you didn't like, it was the reason why. I thought you just wanted a different food or something. I totally agree with you. Scat plots do not need to have diarrhea. I actually prefer long single turds myself. The reason why I wrote the chapter like I did is because I thought it would be much more gross and disgusting. What you described in this comment is more of a "scat domination" situation, which I also enjoy greatly. I didn't write this story that way because it would not fit Ashley's character. It will make more sense in the next chapter, but she is not really evil and sadistic. She is just a little girl who wants to get back at her big brother for picking on her.
Date: May 18 2017 10:44 AM Title: Chocolate Rain
Laxatives, Taco Bell, Burritos... unfortunatly these are no great topics for my taste and just way too clichee. I like more realistic plots when it goes to scat. In the same category are yoga pants plots, totally a no go for me.
"ASHL-" As he was shouting, Ashley farted. A few turds the size of baseballs (at Tom's scale) burst out. One of which landed right in Tom's mouth. Unable to spit it out, he was forced to chew and swallow the slimy, salty, foul-smelling chunk. It was nasty enough to make him shed a tear. This was sadly also really unrealistic. You should ask yourself, woud this happen, would it really happen like this? Scat plots done right is really hard and you have to write out the horror perfectly so it works fine. Especially if it is a forced plot.
So many authors do it horrible wrong, lik written in a "grade schooler style", something like: Oh no! Please no! A turd shot out and landed in his mouth. He chewed it and he felt bad. His eyes teared up...
Thats totally a bad style. You should imagine the scene literally go in "slow motion", the shocking moment of where the guy literally for the first time in his life got shit in his mouth. Him making a dumfolded expression and then literally gag, choke, and start to vomit, but then the irony and sarcasm kickingin and he gets it worse and worse.
"It was nasty enough to make him shed a tear." is just sooo too short and a waste of time for this important and great scene.
" He swam back to the surface and gasped just as the turd itself reached the surface. He grabbed on to the giant piece of poop and used it as a floatation device." all this the same, you write it somehow out, as it wasn't a "big deal" for the character. But it should be the most horrific experience imaginable, not "just" some event happening, "oh no, please no, ooh this is bad, oh no, swimming up, oh no, bad, ugh ..."
Good forced scat needs to be HELL, and you should imagine how it would really happen.
Same as ... ""What are you saying?"", I don't really think he would casually answer like that after what just happened, or even capable to do so.
Author's Response: Thank you for the constructive criticism. I do agree that the details of this chapter were a bit lacking. I just reuploaded the chapter with much more scat detail. As far as the whole laxatives and Mexican food thing goes, yes it is cliché, but that's because it makes sense. Those things are known to produce a lot of nasty poop. Anyway, I hope the new content fits your fancy!
Date: May 17 2017 9:59 PM Title: Urine Trouble Now, Mister!
Why havebt I seen this eariler!? This story rocks. Plesase keep it going, the last chapter was the best, what a hot and amazing idea ith the "making lemonade". Hoping for some really horrific and tortures scat parts in the future.
Author's Response: I know the feeling! XD Anyway, thank you! And the scat content starts now!
Date: May 16 2017 9:41 AM Title: Post-Workout Games
enjoyed this a lot, plese continue. the idea with lying to him and it was all ass swet was amazing. please more like this. i like very dark ironic plots. also huge fan of scat plots. great story so far
Author's Response: Ashley is quite the trickster as you'll soon see. And don't worry, the scat content is coming.