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Reviewer: Max333 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: January 26 2017 1:09 PM Title: Going to Class (Story Start)

I see where you're going, can't say it's anything I dislike :)

As long as it allows you to focus on one core story, it's an improvement. 

Can't wait to read from you again, cheers !

Reviewer: Max333 Signed [Report This]
Date: January 26 2017 12:34 PM Title: Going to Class (Story Start)

Thanks for your answer !

I like your idea, though then your story wouldn't really be about choices anymore, would it ? 

How about building a core story, and each choice would then get its own chapter, that would then get back to the core story ?

I'm thinking about something like

Chapter 1 (core) -> Chapter 1.1 / Chapter 1.2 / Chapter 1.3 -> Chapter 2 (core). 

It means each choice would really have some value, yet whatever that choice would be wouldn't alter the core story. Well, one probably would, but the reader wouldn't be aware of which. 

It's really your idea, only with the addition of small chapters that would make the reader appreciate his choice a bit more.

 



Author's Response:

That's a cool idea, but I think I'll stick with what I'm planning for now.

When I originally made these interactive, they were kind of in the style of how Writing.com interactive stories go. Somebody adds a chapter, leaves a few choices, and somebody else can add next to take the story along. It's definitely different when it's all by one person, and I think this is what we're seeing now that the story has developed further.

I think that our ideas are similar, but mine would have the core story written first and then have other chapters branch off that don't necessarily affect the core story. And your idea has the core story be developed in parallel with the side choice chapters, where any of the side chapters could lead into the next core chapter.

I also want to have a system that looks nice in the Table of Contents and works at the end of each chapter. I'll need to think of a good way of making it obvious where each chapter lies in the overall storyline.

Thanks a lot for the feedback!

Reviewer: Max333 Signed [Report This]
Date: January 26 2017 11:23 AM Title: Going to Class (Story Start)

Hey there !

Great work here, once again. Love all of your stories.

Still, what I think is wrong here is always the same : too many choices. I think I've told you my thoughts about that before, but by giving us too much choices I do not think you're giving us more quality. 

I've thought about interactive stories for a while now, and it seems to me that Max 2 choices every 2 or 3 chapters would be better than 3+ choices every chapter. 

That way, you can create more content. 

At some point, too much choice leads to work that can't be done. You're only human. 

What do you think ? 



Author's Response:

That's a pretty good point. 

I feel like I started with the intention of actually going through with each and every choice, back when I thought of the chapters more of size related interactions and not stories that will eventually reach a satisfying conclusion.

Recently, especially after what I've done with all the rewriting, I've thought less about doing all the choices and more of just creating a single flowing arc.

I think I will keep the multiple choices after each story, but make all but one the 'canon' option. But I won't identify which one that is until I write it. That way, I can mess around with different size based things with each character as I feel like it without it detracting from the overall narrative.

I'll give an example, because that might not make sense by itself (I'll use stuff from Shrunk in College: The Classroom).

  • So for the Orfino route, in Chapter Orfino1.3, I give these 3 choices (see below). The way I'll do from now on it is identify the chapter that was already written as canon, and any other that I feel like writing in the future as noncanon or gaiden chapters. And I'll change it so it is obvious that Option 1 will happen, and the other two are 'what if?' stories. But I'll need to mess around with some of the endings of chapters to make that clear from now on. But it won't be obvious which one is the main option until I write it, unless I'm really certain about the next chapter.

  1. Climb up the end of the couch where Ms. Orfino’s head is, to contact her directly. (Go to Chapter Orfino1.3.1)
  2. Climb up the end of the couch where Ms. Orfino’s feet are, to continue to live out his fantasies.
  3. Ms. Orfino moves her leg, smothering him again with her bare feet and toes.

Obviously, this isn't in place yet, and I kinda just solidified my idea after reading your review. But I will in the near-future, make that change.

Thanks a lot for the feedback, and I'm glad you're enjoying the stories!

Take care!

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