Date: July 06 2017 9:04 AM Title: A Day in the Life (Part 2)
Rylee's spacing out is too cute. Kudos to you for giving her that interesting trait to go with her personality. I found it funny how Blake screamed, "RYLEE!" to get her attention. You know, when Rylee was spinning around in June's art class and that girl came in saying, "What the fuck." I thought the girl was Tomoko lol. Blake's got the right idea to be afraid of her, the girl has sharp tongued and she makes me think she has a violent disposition which could be bad for Blake later on in the story. Also, thanks for your kind words in the shoutbox, man. I truly appreciate it and I genuinely love this story of yours. It has a nice flow with lovable characters and it's a nice break from the usual cruel giantess content. Keep up the good work!
Hi Nothingness! I saw your response - thank you so much! It's alright (the whole shoutbox thing) I was just waiting for your next chapter and I when I saw you were abit stumped I just wanted to let you know that I hoped you got out of it - which I am very thankful you did btw ;)
Also, ToraDora's a good show that needs a bit of getting into the rhythm of watching. The way the characters change throughout is actually really interesting to me but alas! No spoilers here :P
I should say again - thanks! Thanks you for these kind words and I hope I can deliver the best story I can!
Oh and about: ' "What the fuck." I thought the girl was Tomoko lol. '
I don't mean to spoil anything, but... :3
(dw it isn't a HUGE secret - that's why I feel comfortable saying. Well done on picking up on it though!)
Date: July 03 2017 7:04 AM Title: A Day in the Life (Part 2)
It may have been a awhile for the next chapter, but it was well worth the wait! Loving the background you're showing of Rylee, enough to get an idea, but still vague enough to let us imagine!
As I've mentioned before, I'm no good when it comes to writing in technical/proper aspect, but I love the detail you go into with the atmosphere, along with fantastic references to describe them with.
The only thing I'd truly "complain" about is how you leave me wanting more at the end of each chapter! :) Keep up the fantastic work, loving all of it!
You truly flatter me, sir! I was a bit apprehensive that a chapter mainly about a high school girl in an art class would be a bit boring to read - so I'm glad you enjoyed it! I am sorry that it takes so long for a new chapter to come out and there really isn't anything for me to blame except from my own forgetfulness. No promises, but I'll try to get the next one out sooner than this abysmal schedule of 'Every-month-maybe-not-really-maybe-if-I-can'. Anyway, whenever it does come out I just hope it'll be worth the wait aswell ;)
Date: July 02 2017 8:58 PM Title: A Day in the Life (Part 2)
I'm honestly starting to wonder if Rylee has petit mal. That used to make me black out at unpredictable intervals back in elementary school. Of course, that was back in the Sixties! Back when, if it didn't come with a doctor's note hand-printed in capitalized boldface, such kids were labeled by the teachers as "just lazy daydreamers trying to make excuses."
It's all up to interpretation...
Date: July 02 2017 8:49 PM Title: A Day in the Life (Part 1)
Hmmmmm! I wonder if Rylee and Tomoko have a Goku-type power? Except, you know, they don't go completely Queen Kong, under the full moon, to the extent of growing excessive body hair! Just excessive height.
You're spoiling the big reveal!
Date: June 29 2017 6:41 AM Title: A Day in the Life (Part 1)
Well I can't give very good criticism like you asked; you're a way better writer than me I'd say. Like, the pacing's great, the dialouge is pretty good, and everything. I can't really find a glaring flaw (besides the fact that this story isn't complete yet-- something I'd only prefer to happen waaayyy later in the future.)
Though I suppose if I were hard-pressed to find something to nitpick about, it'd be Blake's size being a little too tall, but that's only just a preference of mine. I find it more thrilling when one is even more helpless than they currently are, but not to the point of being nerfed so much [looking at you guys, Micro writers] lol.
Anyways. I'm leaving this review to tell you I appreciate everything you've typed so far! I love the characters' interactions, Blake's fortunate to have a doting sister and a new friend. I'm very interested to see what happens next and why Rylee acts so stand-offish about her personal life, but I'm sure we'll see that later. I'm looking forward to the rest of the chapters, my interest is definitely piqued.
Hopefully Blake's going to get an easier life, and I liked how Rylee got pretty clingy after figuring out Blake's been bullied. Very cute story~ I'll refresh my browser err'day until I see it get updated, lol. But, take your time. Stories are hard to write when the chapters get long, so I'll be patient in the meantime. Have a good day otherwise, sir!
Oh wow... Thank you so much! Really means a lot. I put out that call for criticism when I was feeling really down about this story - to the point where I'd be nitpicking everything I wrote and even considering rewriting past chapters, thinking they weren't good enough. But hearing all this makes me feel a lot better. Again, thank you. I'm also glad that you don't want it finished soon because at the pace I'm going that wont be likely xD
Blake's size is something of a preference to me too - I prefer it when the 'tiny' is big enough for it to be believable that he'd be able to have proper conversations and interactions with people normal size. Like, I find it a bit of a stretch when a character is one inch or smaller and they can freely interact without it being tedious. Also that Blake is supposed to be able to traverse outside would be harder to believe if he was smaller (Remember that he lived freely in high school for a while now). But like you said - it is more of a preference.
It's funny because when I saw your review I was in the middle of writing the next chapter. So it's YOUR fault that it will take longer (jk it's me procrastinating and looking on the internet instead of typing)
But, yeah. I appreciate this and I'm thankful that you're patient and know that stories are hard to write when chapters get long. I just hope I won't disappoint! As even when I'm not writing I'm coming up with more and more ideas for this story (which may be the reason it's taking so long...
...lol no it's cos I'm lazy :P)
Date: May 31 2017 10:37 PM Title: Such a Perfect Day...
You have a thing for cliffhangers don't you? Just wondering, how did a small 12 year old girl took out two canines?
The cliffhangers just sort of happen I guess. Like, I'm normally just writing a chapter and then suddenly feel that it'd be best if I end it at that point. I don't really plan them as to where it's going to leave off :P
Oh, and Phoebe taking out the dogs you can take as a metaphorical thing. Just remember that scene takes place within the character(s) psyche.
Date: May 17 2017 5:31 AM Title: A Day in the Life (Part 1)
Ok, I'm going to be 100% totally honest-- I have no talents in creative writing whatsoever. I mean, I once wrote a story about a monkey trying to steal cereal from a kangaroo. Yeh, that was uh... jesus, it was awful.
That being said, I don't think I could give proper cirticism for you to work with, but I WILL say I absolutely love the story you've created so far! From the dialogue, to enjoyable narration, to keeping my curiousity into finding out what's up with Rylee! Also, love the spacing of the story-- I know that might sound silly, but huge paragraphs with no breaks in texts can make it tedious to read.
I thought this story was of a different title, and I was genuinely bummed when I couldn't find it, but then I found it again and was delighted. So much so, I made an account just so I could write this silly review to let you know that this story is fantastic, and I can't wait for more!
Geez, man. Thanks! You probably don't realise but that really hits close to home, as I also made my account just to let an author know I was enjoying their story. I know the feeling of enjoying something on that level, so much that you want the author to personally hear your thoughts. Seriously, thank you so much for letting me know! It genuinely means alot ;)
Date: May 16 2017 5:50 PM Title: A Day in the Life (Part 1)
Hey Man, Glad to finally, see this back! Well, since you asked for it, I did see a few spelling errors - mainly, in chapter 7 though, this chapter (8) was much better. 'We're' instead of 'Where' - And, 'There', which should've been 'They're' and a few others as well, but nothing too distracting though...
Pertaining to the story though, I'm still transfixed by the mystery behind Rylee, and the way that you've created her querky personality, I'm really enjoying watching her playful antics as she teases her tiny pal. This is really getting good. I hope you can continue with this, as I'm really quite hooked on this tale and after the long wait, I realized how much!
Keep going, I love this story!
Thanks Jay! Your reviews are always great to read. Cheers for telling me about those grammatical errors - I quickly went back over chapter 7 and edited it a tiny bit. I really hope I can deliver with the rest of this story as I have mostly everything planned out at this point and I’m quite excited to share it. If only my writing speed and free time increased… But, hey! We don’t live in a perfect world ;)
Date: May 16 2017 3:05 PM Title: A Day in the Life (Part 1)
Can't believe the coincidence, but I'm listening to Sgt Pepper (Beatles, A Day in the Life) right now, just when you uploaded the chapter! I'm very drunk, so this is cool to me right now.
On a more sober note: I think you're getting the chapter pace as good as it can get with most of these story's chapters. Keep it going like this, mate!
Haha XD I've been putting quite a few Beatles references in this story; and here I was think they were mostly going unnoticed.
Anyway, cheers man & take it easy ;)
Date: March 13 2017 5:45 AM Title: Intro
Good story but the weight is off. If you were 1 inch tall, 0.4 pounds would be as if he or she was made of the densest metal. For example an 8 pound baby would be 0.000028 pounds or 0.000448oz.
I'd have to land the blame on myself not being accustomed to pounds as a unit of measurement. In the UK we use Stone, Grams and Killograms over Pounds. I knew something like this would happen as I put a note on the first chapter saying that I may get a few things wrong when it comes to translating phrases, slang or anything of the sort for an American audience. Anyway, thanks for telling me. I'll try to be more careful and read further into stuff like that for upcoming chapters.
Date: March 12 2017 9:17 PM Title: Morning Glory?
Misterious... It's like she's almost certainly 'hiding something' from him. The english teacher is probably watching out for Blake... does she already know about Rylee? She's definitely worried about Blake finding out about her... but, finding out what...
Great chapter! :`)
Thanks, Jay! Your question will be answered very shortly... ;-)
Date: March 12 2017 7:22 PM Title: Morning Glory?
Heh! "Weird" doesn't begin to describe that interchange.
Yep! I realise that this chapter is way too vague to make anything of at the moment.
But hopefully it's intriguing enough to want to find out ;)
Date: January 22 2017 8:57 PM Title: Intro
Finally the kind of story I've been looking for, for so long keep it up
Thank you :) Glad you like it. As for "Keep it up", the next chapter will be a while as I'm aiming for the 3000+ word mark and I'm quite busy atm. So stay tuned ;)
Date: January 14 2017 6:13 PM Title: The Clash
Oh? I had to re-read what you replied a couple times, ...'my name's not Blake?'
Then, after I washed my dishes and was drying them, 'OH YEAH!' - MARSYMAN!
...I was 'so' into reading that last chapter, I just called you, Blake, LOL!
I did think it was a bit odd at first XD It's fine though dw
Your reply genuinely put a smile on my face as, I too, have random eureka moments whilst doing completely mundane things ;) It's funny now but it's a bit awkward scrambling for a pen and paper whilst piloting a plane...
jk, thet dont let me fly planes anymore
Have a good one!
(I know I have a terrible sense of humour pls forgive meh :3)
Date: January 14 2017 1:52 PM Title: The Clash
Cute chapter. I like that the little guy rescued her, rather than the other way around. Rylee seems a bit clumsy, which is endearing but potentially dangerous for Blake I would imagine.
One of the earyly drafts had her saving him, but I thought the switch would be more telling of her character and their dependency. Thanks for reading! :)