Date: March 08 2018 2:44 PM Title: Chapter 15: Bad, Crazy
I really enjoyed this chapter. Glad you put in how Jesse wouldn't want to sleep in her bed so she slept on the couch. Also liked how Jesse had a chance to take in her appearance. I could probably list things all day long with what all I like about this chapter but oddly enough my favorite part was has everything shakes/quivers or gives off its own sound from Bethany's giant footsteps and how it gets worse as she gets closer. In my opinion almost nothing rings more true with how tiny and helpless they really are than the earthquake like footsteps of Bethany or Linda.
The wildcard of this chapter has to be that Bethany appears(at least from Jesse's perspective) to be intoxicated. It doesn't seem to be too far gone but I can't wait to see what happens next with Jesse being assaulted by her tongue as she caresses between her legs. With Steve resting between her massive feet. I personally would have preferred it if she left Steve in Jesse's adorable little cottage so that Bethany could give her undivided attention to Jesse. However, I do like the fact that maybe Jesse and Steve can tag team time spent being mauled by either Bethany's gigantic fingers or toes and in Jesse's case her slimy tongue.
I really wish that Bethany would force Jesse to bite and nibble on her clitoris as she plunges fingers or better yet Linda's vibrator in and out of her vagina and she's also rigged up the mic and camera so she can hear and see Jesse through either Linda's laptop or TV all the while giving her instructions.
PS I honestly just can't wait to see a new chapter from you. Actually I like your little additions to your finished stories as well. Which reminds me I'm gonna check out what you've added to tiny dancer. Great stuff and please keep writing.
Date: January 23 2018 1:38 AM Title: Chapter 14: Just a Cigarette
Don't know how I missed this chapter but apparently I did.
Bethany using her own spit to work Steve into an almost lather was disgusting but fit the scene and Bethany perfectly. Also when got a few stinky breaths in the bubbles was quite ingenious(not him doing that but you thinking to write that). But her swooshing him around in the bowl of warm water(that was nice of her, could've have ice cubes in it lol) that scene really reminded my of Jaws when the no name lady gets killed in the opening scenes. Somehow this seems even more terrifying.
Bethany wanting to smell clean Steve by shoving him up her nose with her nose hairs was well kinda cool and very creepy. That really shows how truly tiny and helpless they are to any part of her body. Her losing track of him in there must have taken a lot of effort on her part not to sneeze him out(I know gross but maybe she didn't because she knew that would definitely kill him). I really liked when she reaches back in for Steve but can't quite grasp him, that reminded me of the '76 king kong where after kong tosses the log of the cliff and Jeff bridges character and whatshername are just beyond his reach in this little cave/nook. I know it's just a small detail of Bethany trying to grab Steve in her nose with her index and thumb but to me it brought back the memory of first seeing King kong lol thanks for that.
The cigarette scene was actually my favorite. I have maybe one or two a week and have fantasized about that exact scenario hahaha. I could totally see myself blacking out too. You brought that part to life and i felt like i was in some kind nicotine smoke cloud.
The ending was perfect. Bethany getting those last second jabs in about Jesse knowing when she's been beat and knowing how to properly worship her.
PS had to look up 'jeweler's loupe'. I thought it was a device used to string a necklace with beads lol
I cannot wait to see where this story goes from here with Steve blacked out in some sort of nicotine induced coma and Jesse still plastered to the headboard of her bed(actually she should have slid down by now but probably too tired and weak to get hardened saliva off herself)
Great chapter and can't wait to see where you take it from here.
Spooky. Just thought I'd look over my comments for ideas and you were here a few hours ago. The nose part was exactly to illustrate how tiny and helpless they are. Bethany seems to have a thing about interacting with him using her nose. I have surprised myself in finding little things I have wrote in these that are erotic to me. I guess I never thought about some stuff.
The nostril retrieval: yeah, I can see that. Sort of what I was going for. An early macrophile thrill was to imagine a giantess just on the verge of capturing me over and over.
I vape :) I won't give it up, but I won't smoke ever again. It eventually really does have inescapable health effects. But that doesn't mean I have to not ingest nicotine.
I found Beth using her thumbnail to callously explore his face nice for some reason.
Yeah. I researched nicotine poisoning months ago. Not a pleasant thing at all. I don't know if I will mention it's effects on him. THANK YOU, Aaron!
Date: December 03 2017 12:04 AM Title: Chapter 8: A Big Thumbs Up
Saw that this was tweaked again and couldn't decide if the addition was that little thing I recommended about painting Jesse on her thumbnail(well I said toe but close enough) and how we discussed it of course wouldn't be practical but to hear Bethany say it came across as an amazingly sexy threat. Or where Bethany reminisces about baking with Jesse while drinking and wanting to take it further, then the Thumbelina bit came back around beautifully. Thanks for these additions as well as the new Tommy Boy story(rip Chris Farley) which I haven't read yet.
After rereading this chapter for the umpteenth time, I finally noticed where Bethany said something like "you're my dolly for a week". I'm guessing the timeline of Linda and possibly Mike's return from the funeral or wherever they went.
Now here's my take on before Bethany babysits; Linda initially receives a phone call from a distraught family member or even that keepsake lady(forgot her name) telling her of her grandfather's passing to which Linda could perform the stages of grief with her three inches to try and cheer her up. Or she could just show a sense of relief that his pain is over or some shit. What I think would be interesting is for the tinies but especially Jesse to try and keep her mind occupied until the funeral. Maybe Jesse takes the news hard too because she's become so close with Linda I mean they are basically in a pseudo relationship now even if its one sided.
Heck it could even get Linda's more sinister part of her mind working and this tragedy gives her the perfect opportunity to see her ex again with the young tart he's banging. Damn I actually really like that.
I don't know, I'm just thinking out loud because I think there's something else interesting to tell there. Anyways please don't stop writing we love your characters.
Your feedback is valuable to us at V11 smut inc. We will take your input into consideration as we plan our product line for 2018. Be sure to share our line of excruciatingly over detailed obscure fetish smut with family and friends! Remember, nothing is more appropriate for the holiday season than a vast laughing face peering at you through a ragged hole in your roof as it guides a nightmarishly large finger through your abode's walls, destroying them like brittle tissue paper.
I have inserted your ideas into my subconscious. Who knows what the hell will be wrote next. I just channel it from beyond the void.
Date: October 06 2017 3:15 PM Title: Chapter 1: Button Pressing
I'm thrilled to see two new additions to this story! And thanks for throwing such a pungent and degrading foot-related chapter. Bethany is a beautiful and possibly psychotic goddess. Do you have plans to include an alternate chapter where Steve's life ends at his mom's stinky feet?
Psychotic? Yeah, I guess. It's hard to create such a situation without the giantess being psychotic... or bitter... something's got to provide the cruelty. Alternate chapter? I'm... well, I'm burnt out, but also, that isn't my cup of tea. You should do it. I've been considering doing a short story based around killing tinies. Still not sure about it. One problem for me is my heavy description would turn it into a real gorey horror story. If I'm going to have people die in a story, they're going to die in HD. Uru-style. :)
Seriously, you ought to write something! You obviously have a solid scenario in mind!
Date: October 04 2017 8:31 PM Title: Chapter 8: A Big Thumbs Up
Can't believe how seamlessly your little additions flow with what you've previously written. I almost didn't realize what you added but when you add more Bethany and Jesse time it's always a good idea to reread it anyways as a rule of thumb lol.
PS would a 'nanny cam' be something Linda would have at least in her closet to watch Jesse and co in their natural habitat only to see Bethany not only abuse her fairy again but rape her.
Anyways phenomenal additions yet again. I'm really missing Linda's presents though.
Also, love how you described Jesse's tiny vagina hidden by dark pubes. Hope more of that comes into play later.
Some of this is practice for other writing, some of this is habit from writing. I revise a lot, but this stuff -the stuff that doesn't matter- I don't hold back on. It ends up super condensed and sort of crazy. My other writing is edited to kill description and make things streamlined and legible. This stuff is fun compared to my other junk.
Oh, I'm sure Linda has cameras. She has a Panic Room and some sort of a custom alarm system. I'm guessing Linda is a multi-millionaire perhaps. Mostly from her family? Who knows. She might not have a camera specifically to watch Beth's interactions.
I miss Linda also. She's more like a mythical creature in my mind than Beth. I see "Beths" everywhere, which isn't a bad thing or something to cheapen her. But "Lindas" I rarely spot. Heh. Unicorns.
Date: October 03 2017 11:39 PM Title: Chapter 13: Milk
I've been following this story, periodically checking updates. Glad you continue to write!
Thank you! As you probably know by now, I rewrite and add little things to all these stories a lot. BTW, I really liked your story you have here. I can see why you read my stuff. :) Thank you, Muammar!
Date: October 03 2017 8:54 PM Title: Chapter 13: Milk
Whoa. Bethany isn't the only one that needs a cigarette indeed.
Initially the ambiguous title through me, lol.
I almost never agree if you decide to write a shorter chapter except this one. If you added more details it might feel forced, in my opinion. It was short and sweet.
PS I was reading over some of either the other chapters or the other story(can't remember which) and Bethany is a realtor who(m) initially met Linda with the whole wanting to sell her house thing just to further torture Steve. I was wondering if it would be a doable for Bethany to use her connections to find some people looking to buy a house. Possibly her assistant too. What I'm thinking: Linda tells Bethany when to expect her back because she can't wait to see the little ones. This is about 4-5 days in advance of when she's actually coming back so Bethany will have to to find interested clients(or customers, buyers maybe, I don't know)
Anyways, with that taken care of she's planning to have an open house for maybe 30mins to an hour after Linda gets back. Bethany's plan is for Linda to be playing with the tinies in the living room when they start showing up.(now I have hit a problem because I have no idea how to get rid of their vehicles or how she quiets her staff, maybe that's why she wants her assistant shrunken too...) its full of holes but if everything goes to plan Linda excuses herself to get the perfume and shrink the visitors/intruders. Maybe she has to sell her property anyways to go off the grid with a new fake identity and such... I donno I sounded so much better in my head.
Let me know if this is somewhat doable or complete fantasy.
Anyways it's awesome to see your story pop up in recent. Hope you got some inspiration to continue.
Yeah, ambiguous title. I was empty after crafting this and stared at the screen for a bit. "Milk," I thought, "That's what's happening here." Because it is. This chapter was for Jay, though I probably didn't emphasize the scrunching, orgasmic hell enough. Right, this chapter is just long enough. BTW I've gone through and added stuff in LTI,TD and here in HwB.
Sure, that's doable. Might save it for another story. Don't know. But I get it. There is a lot of allure to the act of shrinking a victime, and I could sit and read six dozen little short scenarios, one after another about just that action and trauma.
Cigarettes are bad, kids.
Thank you for chiming in. I love feedback or just a note. That's my reward for writing this stuff. Lets me know it's getting read.
Date: June 13 2017 12:29 AM Title: Chapter 1: Button Pressing
Have an idea for you that could be useful or maybe my reviews/suggestions are a nuisance but honestly I like doing it.(sorry haha)
I was thinking about Steve's impending punishment at the hands of Bethany, what if when she picks him up by his tiny and skinny arm it snaps resulting in an Oblique fracture or a compound fracture. However, they won't know the severity of it until he's checked out by a professional and in this scenario that just so happens to be the neighbor woman's occupation. (I'm kinda weirded out that I came up this to include mother and daughter that make sense, lol.) Anyways, Bethany initially doesn't think any thing of dollSteve's agonizing squeaks until she sets him into her palm and see the arm or leg bent severely above the elbow or knee. Henceforth proceeds to set him back on his napkin as gently as humanly possible and runs pell-mell to Linda's closet(or at least the location of Jesse) and most likely not thinking and perhaps damaging the cottage, she also grabs Mike in the panty drawer because she wants as much help as she can get but mainly because she's not thinking clearly. So she rushes back to the kitchen table/dining room table/coffee table(can't remember which one it is) with both tinies in her right sweaty fist, while they are unfortunately getting stuck together as she holds them so snuggly and are kinda harshly dumped onto the napkin near Steve but need her help to pry themselves apart to which she scolds very harshly for. So they finally they get a good enough sense of where they are and what's going on to know not to question Bethany in any way but they also realize the upon seeing his twisted leg/arm that there's nothing they can do without causing more harm.(I'd like it noted that after she harassed them for a bit she takes off to get the sound amplifier thingy and the camera to see better) So after about 10min of sitting there looking at his bent appendage and her right up in their business, Mike tells her as gently as possible that they are scared to do anything to him or for him because they're worried they'll only make it worse. Of course, she's not happy. At all. Actually I'd say she's livid. And is in the process of pinching up a screaming Jesse when they hear the garage door rising up and Bethany instantly forgets punishing Jesse and runs frantically out to get Linda. Trying to exasperatedly bring her up to speed so Linda can immediately assess the situation when she reaches the table. And Linda being Linda knows that her neighbor is a doctor, so she goes to her room calmly and unlocks her safe(if she brought the Keepsake with her that is she just walks back outside calmly and very elegantly) then proceeds to get herself a pet doctor. The only thing that throws her plan outta whack slightly is that her daughter is home too. So she comes back to the house with a doctor and nurse to help with Steven's broken limb. This could also work with Bethany having to way with Jesse for a bit to release some tension while she bites the bullet and calls Linda to somehow make this all better. And Linda could either be an hour or so away and tell Bethany to try her best and reassure Steve that everything is gonna be fine, Linda is on her way. Or Linda could regretfully give Bethany the code to her safe with the Keepsake inside and instructs her to shrink her neighbor down whose a doctor and of course Bethany being Bethany, shrinks down whoever happens to be in the house. Giving Bethany that much power in the Keepsake would be a catastrophic mistake by Linda and quite possibly the stupidest thing she could ever do. Yeah, I guess that's way out of character for her but maybe Linda would just tell Bethany that her neighbor is a doctor and to bring Mike and Jesse over to try and convince her to help. To which the daughter sees Mike and Jesse and is immediately drawn to them for reasons that escape me at the present time.
I dunno how you'll take it but I had the idea in my head and thought I better get it down before I forget.
PS purple chrome nail polish is the bees knees in my opinion
God, no, Aaron, you are not a nuisance.
Wow, this is well thought out. I've got other stuff to get to first, but let me think about it. It's really a matter of how much longer do I want to spend on this story. I want to cover two definite things and I think I am now set up to do so. Regardless, if I try and cover this it will be slow going. Writing like this takes a lot out of me. When you mentioned the neighbors I came up with a scenario like this as a possibility.
Came across this, a bit of retro-inspiration. Too bad I didn't see this a long time ago. Still, it sort of reminded me of Linda a bit.
Thank you, aaron. I'll keep eying this, seeing if I can psych myself up to tackle it. Purple chrome polish rocks! I like white polish too for some reason.
Date: June 09 2017 5:43 PM Title: Chapter 1: Button Pressing
Quick question, did you extend this story?
I'm almost positive the other day it had a word count of roughly 21,000 and now it's 29,000.
So... let's see... I'm sort of a revision-monster sometimes. Recently I did tweak CH4, CH7, perhaps CH8 and I changed like seven words in CH11. This was like last weekend or the beginning of last week. So, yeah, I guess it is possible it jumped 5k words, though that seems a bit much. I only anounce when there are new chapters but I might doc it inside the story's table of contents or summary. bye Aaron
Date: June 08 2017 10:33 PM Title: Chapter 1: Button Pressing
Sorry for being unnecessarily vague in regards to Linda's Three Inches.
I absolutely loved how densely compacted Tiny Dancer is with descriptive information. Yes the addition of Linda setting or dropping Jesse on her vaginal hood area was great(and personally felt it could've been extended honestly) but it's hard for me to pinpoint what I like generally but just saying "I liked it" seems too redundant or infantile. I guess the idea of a sexy milf using her son as a pawn for his also shrunken former lover/fa´ence is incredibly sexy. Her forcing him to masterbate on her toenail while she video tapes it so his ex can watch it later and presumably masterbate is inspired. I just wish that bit with Linda and Jesse had been expanded on.
Seriously though there is nothing wrong with anything you've written even though Keepsake isn't my favorite it's still a good jumping off point for this series.
I actually do agree with you about Koari(think thats it), she is extremely off putting. And I'm glad this current story focuses more on the shrunken people at the house because your newer chapters have been better than anything else you've written thus far, at least for me. Not saying I like Bethany better than Linda as the giantess but her interactions with Jesse have been outstanding and that's why I'd like to of seen more of LTI. I mean Jesse hinted that Linda and her are pseudo lovers and how she'd play with Jesse and her tiny house but I had to use my horrid imagination for what happens lol. So i guess that's mainly why I'd want to read more LTI is for more Jesse/Linda becoming a couple.
I kinda wish Bethany would utilize Mike(I think that's his name) more. She seems to have a laser beam focus on turning her son into the perfect doll in her mind but she could really do that whenever so why not take this opportunity to use Linda's son for some kind of intimate playtime?
By the way, the whole incest thing really doesn't bother me. It's extremely sexy with Linda or Bethany.
The next door neighbor and her mom(forgot their names) kinda hope they become Bethany's two inches lol.
I'll see what I can do (how many times does one hear that in a futile, negative context?)
I read this post, opened up LTI and... Didn't do anything in reference to your post. LOL However, I did tweak CH3, CH10 and I added some cool stuff at near the end of CH11. Look at 11, it's spiffy. I did something because I read this post, just.. not... ahem. Creativity cannot be confined! I must touch the gods themselves in order to... ahem. Okay, look, I got sidetracked. You fomented for a change and you got... well, it was going to be impressive... Seriously, I just got sidetracked when I saw a few openings for some easy-to-write stuff. I'll try and give it a more serious go at a later time. I hope you like what I added regardless of my fickle, spineless nature. lol Writing sucks. Someone should warn people away from it. It's.. like... difficult... and stuff. Thank you Aaron! I'll update and document it in the story header or maybe in the shouty-box when I add something more significant
Date: June 08 2017 1:02 PM Title: Chapter 11: She comes
First of all, it's always great to see your name on one of the most recent pages. This chapter although teasingly short gave a substantial amount of foreboding for Steve/doll. I kinda wish Bethany would try and fix him by letting him interact with tiny things his size. Such as Jesse and her tiny cute cottage. Maybe placing it onto the floor somewhere or perhaps the coffee table so that she can still touch them but they aren't on a high shelf. She needs to realize or recognize that Steve has to have some form of synergy with beings his size or he'll morph back into that crazy vegetable man.
However, that fact that she prefers a limp doll to a coherent one speaks for itself. I kinda hope her character will have some kind of an epiphany or moment of clarity because Steve won't survive what she wants to keep doing to him for much longer. Either he'll try desperately to take his own life, she'll get careless or drunk, perhaps the worst of all(for Steve) is for his psyche to completely checkout leaving nothing but a hollowed out husk of a human being.
Anyway you choose will be catnip for me. I absolutely love your stories here and wish I could write like you.
I just reread Tiny Dancer after your rewrites and was curious if you plan to do that with either Linda's Three Inches or Keepsake?
Also, did Linda take the bottle of Keepsake with her to the funeral?
Thank you for commenting and thank you for your praise.
I'm not sure about rewriting either of the other two stories, what do you think? I reread my recent version of TD the other day and it seems so incredibly dense for the first two parts as to be repetitive... or too much... or something. But when Mike passes out and Linda gets going on his phone and it's secret I like it. The first encounter between Linda and Jesse is also so densely packed with detail now... hmm, maybe I don't mind that so much, not sure, though the end of the "encounter" seems to be really climactic, maybe too much too soon. Eh.
Three Inches has a lot of little additions, but I didn't go nuts. Should I add more like TD? Should I add more but make it psychological? Or perhaps have more little one-off scenes demonstrating their helplessness/boredom/whatever?
Keepsake... heh... Keepsake demonstrates (to me) that having a plot, or a point is more important than writing well. It gives you info about where the perfume bottle came from, but it's just weird. Kaori is weird. I touch on some old dead pre-German Reunification thoughts from the perspective of a dockyard welder that might be considered racist? Misguided? Well, Keepsake ended poorly and got a poor reception. Let me know what you think if you want about any of this. Are my creations crap or in need of some restraint or embellishment in some way I have not thought of? I can't tell. I'm too close to see well enough.
P.S. You're absolutely right about Steve and unlike other writers, I never, ever have a grand plan or even an idea before I sit down to continue something I post here. Thanks!
Date: May 01 2017 6:33 PM Title: Chapter 1: Button Pressing
Finally remembered my password.
This story is great. I actually didn't think I'd like a story dedicated to Bethany and her sorted relationship with Steve. However, I've put her almost on par with Linda or Carrie and Naomi(from Cayce's stories). Linda is just on another level as far as I'm concerned. The interactions with Bethany and Jesse are perfectly written, especially when it involves those tiny houses. I would've preferred them(meaning the house) to have been set on some kind of actual landscape with soil and tiny plants, but your way worked out way better because I still have no idea how it would work.
I enjoy those in order for Steve's mind to cope he seems to have created this schizophrenic personality or maybe some form of bipolar. Honestly have no idea but I like how you wrote it.
I recently reread when Mike and Jesse painted designs on Linda's toes and was wondering if Bethany could expect snow angels. Of course they would just be splotches on the toes or fingers but that's not what it's about for Bethany. She wants to humiliate them. And what better way then being completely covered in paint just for some random menial task. She would more than likely enjoy dunking them in paint especially Jesse.
Now this really wouldn't work if Jesse and Bethany's relationship has changed but I don't believe it has.
I'm hoping that eventually when Bethany is inebriated or stone sober she'll force Jesse and Mike to fuck each either between her feet with her knees up while on the bed with the camera set up so she has a great show or in her thick bush while she watches and masterbates.
Your writing with these characters has been fantastic and in so glad you've decided to continue this story and hopefully more to come.(maybe involving the next door neighbor girl and her hopefully attractive mother)
PS from the previous 'house sitting with Bethany' before the retooling. I thought that the scene where the daughter of (forgot her name) shrinks Linda and tears off her clothes was incredibly sexy. I can't even imagine how it would be if that was Bethany tearing Jesse's clothes off. My question is, with that device come back into play?
I too would rather the houses be in tiny landscapes. Steve schizophrenic? I don't know what it is, I guess Multiple Personality Disorder? I like the paint idea, but cannot get past the poisoning that would happen. Dig the crazy sex scenario you came up with. That is sort of like something I've been thinking about, so something might appear like that, who knows. I'm not sure I even need to say it, but I don't think of my stories as sacred (or done) when I post them. I've got no problems performing major surgury on them after they've been up a while. I don't know how I'll end this now, so the thing with Nanami and Linda might be put back in. Not sure. No one liked Keepsake, and I cannot blame them. I wrote it quickly and I was heavy-handed and Kaori was an unpleasant and weird character. I really loved the clothes tearing scene as well. I didn't think I'd like a Bethany centered story either. I see why people like her more than Linda, she is more traditional, if that makes any sense. Personally I like Linda a bit better, but I have to be careful, lately bethany has been acting a lot like Linda in this story. Thank you for taking the time to tell me what you think. I appreciate it greatly, Aaron!
Date: April 17 2017 2:09 PM Title: Chapter 1: Button Pressing
I'm really glad you're continuing this story! I hope there are some more forced foot smelling chapters, too. All that said, I think about the only way this sordid and fun saga ends is with Steve being destroyed by Bethany at some point.
Date: February 23 2017 1:19 PM Title: Chapter 6: Well of Souls
This is the best chapter you've written period. Hope w'ell get to see Bethany playing with her son sometime again.
Thank you for your kind words! I have an addition I have been working on for this story, but it has been VERY slow going. I hope I get it done at some point. No promises, though. Just not into it much lately.
Date: December 22 2016 10:56 AM Title: Chapter 1: Button Pressing
Well, I would like to see you add to this. If not through new chapters, maybe on the part where Bethany removes him from her vagina and he's covered in her secretions, maybe force him to smell her feet. Like I said before, I think it would be sensory overload and would offer an alternative way of breaking g him.
Date: December 16 2016 2:34 PM Title: Chapter 1: Button Pressing
I loved every chapter with Bethany. You are beyond talented and we're able to make everything she did to Steve erotic as Hell. I really hope you add chapters of their interactions. Anything involving them would be welcome, especially a really degrading foot chapter or two. Don't despair from limited reviews. I honestly don't think people know what to do since you're so good.
Thank you! I don't where it is going or even IF it is going right now. Still thinking of stuff but real life keeps me too busy to add so far.
Date: November 18 2016 8:34 AM Title: Chapter 1: Button Pressing
Gotta be honest. I think this ended poorly ( within the context of what came before, mind you ) .
It feels like you potentially wrote yourself into a corner with Bethany and rather than explore just how cruel and angry she can be, you moved out of nowhere, back to Keepsake and then ended on a cliffhanger when it was never a story which seemed destined for that.
However, I don't write stories so I'm sure it probably gets a bit repetitive writing about tinies being dominated and that you, someone with a true talent for expression and descriptive detail, sought out a way to make it a more rounded story for yourself.
It's been a hell of a read tho and I hope you will definitely revisit Linda and possibly even give Bethany her own tinies to be cruel too.
Overall, I'd give this a 9 out of 10.
Kudos my good man.
I like honesty! I agree with you, well, everything but the wrote myself into a corner part. That wasn't the obstacle, it was the endless play and torture. I came into this wanting to load as much "play" into it as I could. I did, too. But the more I wrote, the more I wanted to have Beth take them shopping at the grocery store, or watch TV with them. There is nothing wrong with that atall. But I created 200,000 words or so "popcorn string" of powerless, gut-wrenching play and humiliation. lol. I wanted to make something that could stand alongside "Son's Demise" or a Ziggy Freud story (if he would just complete them). I think I succeeded, in a weird way. It morphed into the exploration of a lttle apprecaited sub-fetish. Thinking about it, it's the cig thing a little bit for you, perhaps. I pulled a bait and switch. I didn't mean to. Sorry about that. My thought was that Steve had snapped and became catatonic, to Beth's delight. I wanted a fighting, screaming, cursing Steve for the cigarette sequence. Your request and my own plans collided and I should have finished what was a cool idea before I broke Steve. There is a future,however. I don't know what I'll be writing as of yet. I would like to do something a bit more mainstream. I'm tired of being punished for the subject matter I chose for now. This has been very frustrating for me. Thank you for your time!
Date: November 11 2016 7:52 PM Title: Chapter 1: Button Pressing
Great chapter! I like how detailed Steve's psychological breakdown is. And, given how drenched he now is in Bethany's juices, immediately making him smell her feet would amount to a brutal sensory overload. It would be too much to bear and I'd love to see how beyond it would break tiny Steve.
...and I just kept on writing without checking reviews. Sorry about that, Jay. Maybe next time, or if I heavily tweak HwB.
Date: November 11 2016 5:10 PM Title: Chapter 1: Button Pressing
I really liked that chapter. I just don't know why,lol.
I'm curious to see just how Bethany uses her doll once she gets him out of there.
I actually did some research. Not a lot, but I realized if I was going to write about such a place I might want to know what it really looked like inside and what went on there (dignitaries speak sometimes, waitstaff serve drinks, there is a large projection screen. Oops.).
I wrote it while uninspired, which I actually think helped. Dreadful levels of detail for a cigarette break, or other mundane stuff. But when a flying saucer lands, or our completely mad anti-hero goes trekking in a gigantic vagina simple stuff works best maybe. I think Beth should earnestly respect him and swear to never lay another finger on him. Hahaha