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Reviewer: Carycomic Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: November 13 2018 9:39 PM Title: Meanwhile, Elsewhere

Good boy, Oliver! Nothing worse than a stepparent who oversteps.

Reviewer: pixl8ed Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: November 13 2018 7:18 AM Title: Meanwhile, Elsewhere

Hee hee...Grandma finds Sabina’s lack of faith...disturbing...

I really enjoyed the contrast between how the Megs treated Kent and how Larissa, Oliver and Stan interacted.

It looks like a serious clue how Stan and Larissa were drawn to each other.  The implication is that the stone is working through Stan to effect her.  As Mr Spock would say...fascinating.

It’s as though there’s this whole network of energy flowing between those affected by those damn stones that influences people in subtle yet strong ways.  It does explain Oliver’s having all that evidence that something was rotten in Denmark and still going along.  That bit as he was thinking “I’ll let them undress me and drag me around naked in front of all these strange ladies but if they expect me to have sex with Sersei I’m gonna put a stop to things...”  I kind of feel it would have gotten to “Well...sex with Sersei...but nothing past that...”  Hee hee...

But now Oliver seems to have a new perspective on things  (that’s right...I did that) that has gotten him a new emphasis on self control.  And he’s helping those around him, with it.  He’s still being heroic when given the chance.

I’ve often been given the chance to talk about how much I enjoy it when Stan or Oliver are steering the story because I like them as characters, but I have to say I’m enjoying Larissa’s wide eyed take on things.  Everyone else is pretty emersed in things, but she’s bringing a fresh perspective and because she’s so likeable she kind of brings us along as she sees things as miraculous.

Great work on the last couple chapters, but I suspect the real contrast with the Megs is gonna be Cady and Deacon in the next chapter.  You have me enjoying and anticipating Duggernaut.  Which is all I could ask as a reader.  Thank you.

Peace

pix

Reviewer: Shrinkmeister Signed [Report This]
Date: November 12 2018 9:37 PM Title: Meanwhile, Elsewhere

That darned Stan is quite a rascal, but he'd better watch his behavior... While Larissa may be willing, both Sam and Oliver may not be too understanding and with Stan's current condition, who knows what Sam could do. 

Just a bit of constructive criticism from a Southern Californian (where the story is set) to a writer who is a bit north of the locale.  There are no chesterfields in California, they're referred to as couches or sofas here :).

BTW, two chapters within a week are pretty impressive and appreciated.  Looking forward to your next submission!

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