Date: August 19 2017 2:58 PM Title: The Cost of Betrayal
Duggernaut,
In your last response, you stated that “I honestly haven't mapped the story out that far ahead”. That reply got me wondering. What inspires you, the author regarding the direction of the story? Is it solely your ideas and personal inspiration that strike you or have you, on occasion, been influenced by our critiques and suggestions? Have we influenced you in deciding the direction of and possibly even the ultimate outcome of the story?
Author's Response:
Hey Shrink it is sometimes a mixture of the two that transforms the narrative. Great reviewers lime yourself offer a different perspective than I sometimes equated or accounted for. There also times when reviewers are amazingly insightful and this opens the way to other poentialities I have not considered. Other times I know the end but not the between parts. So in a nutshell yes sometimes reviewers influence me. :)
[Report This]Date: August 19 2017 10:48 AM Title: The Cost of Betrayal
So, time for a serious literary examination of the story of our friend Cam. I liked Cam a lot. But lets look at his tale in terms of literary themes.
Cam’s story is one of consumption. He is a victim of first his own lust. He was consumed by his desire for Brooklyn. The trap set for him was powered by this weakness. From this stand point he served himself up, he made himself prey. It was joyous and it was natural,but the Megs made it sinister and horrific.
Once he was in their clutches, (symbolically) they fed on him. Consumed his essence, lessened him in rather obvious ways. But as they fed on him....they grew beautiful and powerful. They gained, he lost. A parasitic relationship.
Once literally in their clutches he decides to live. This costs him. He is silently humiliated and abused. So much is taken from him; dignity, perspective, hope. All eaten up to fuel the meg’s little games. I know we made jokes about “the Brooklyn diet,” but that was the case. He got more of her inside him than he wanted. And he was starving. There is nothing these creatures have to offer. Once you are in there proximity there is nothing for you. The have nothing to offer. They are hollow and empty, nourishing neither your body nor your soul.
Finally, Cerys feeds on him...he disappears....there is nothing left. If Oliver dies he will not even be a memory.
It not just demonstrates their evil...how they are parasites. It gives them an iconography. In the last millenia the term consumption was applied to any wasting disease. Any disease that consumed the body. In the 19th century the term settled on tuberculosis solely. The implication is that they are a virus...a disease of our reality.
Cam was a great character, but his sad tale brings the horror into focus. Would you care as much if all this befell Bear? I know I wouldn’t. The contrast might be more dramatic, but who really engages with someone like him?
Sometimes great stories have sad endings, Cam’s is one of those it seems. But, it was so worth reading. So smart and so captivating.
Thank you Duggernaut and goodbye Cam. Great work. Great reading.
pix
Author's Response:
Thanks for the great review and take on how Cams role in this whole affair played out thus far. You're right would we care if the omega girls were selecting straight up sun bag add holes? No. Their villianry is insidious Venus man traps offering a sweet lure and rewarding temptation with misery. Very nice analysis. Thanks Pix
[Report This]Date: August 18 2017 4:56 PM Title: The Cost of Betrayal
Fantastic chapter! This was plot twisting! Very key to the story! We got Brooklyn mad at Cerys, Frost has Oliver, Stan is now a witness, Brooklyn gets time with Oliver, Harmony is going to arrive sooner than later, and of course, Oliver's escape comes to an end. He is captured.
Brooklyn is so happy that she now gets Oliver. She wanted him also with Cameron when they met at normal size. Now she gets her wish, especially since Brooklyn didn't even get a band on Oliver in the first place.
Man, if only Cerys concealed Oliver just enough so Brooklyn thought it was Cam. Well, I guess Brooklyn gets Oliver anyway so her fun will continue.
I'm pretty sure Cerys is going to throw up Cam soon. She just needed a convincing audience and boy, Oliver sure helped her convince the other ladies.
Word of the day from this chapter: Jubilation.
With Vesper flirting around and such, you would think she is a fine woman who would love some time with Oliver. Even her words are sexy which just makes me anxious for some time alone with her. They should not tell Sersei they found Oliver and let Vesper have him for a day or two.
Did Edith Frost really call Cerys a "stupid silly girl?" This name calling feels out of place in Frosts character. I can see Frost belittling the other girls but I don't agree with this choice of words.
We don't know much of Stan so it would be interesting to see Vesper and Frost pull strings at him. I hope Oliver doesn't connect Deacon to Stan. There needs to be some hope left.
Cerys is actually a genius. She is the Snape from Harry Potter in this story. We all want to hate her, but in the end she will make us cheer for her. She is going to save Cam while they all think he died. Then she will save Oliver. How? Notice how Frost gave the last day to Cerys. This is a sign that Duggernaut is going to make Oliver go through Sersei, Brooklyn, Allie, Harmony and finally when he thinks he will die with Cerys, we end the parade with an amazing escape with Cerys help. It's the ultimate finale! This whole "Cerys is a monster" is just a cover up. When tinies disappear in Cerys possession, it's not becuase she swallows them, it's becuase she releases them! She sets them free and the whole Omega squad thinks she ate them! It's the perfect decoy and every tiny she "eats" the better her disguise works. Also, now Oliver has this long list of woman ready to use him. When he believes all hope is lost and that he thinks he might die, he finds an escape, a solution and stays alive to tell the tale of what's it's like being "The Property or Omega Pi". Roll Credits.
I can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Yur response was almost as long as the update! Great stuff. This chapter took us in a whole bunch of different directions and is still so very early in Oliver's capture/surrender. You raise an interesting analysis but...what if Cerys is the end of the line for Oliver? What is she isn't secretly helping the tinies? I honestly haven't mapped the story out that far ahead. Maybe the story ends with Cerys gulping him down as the sister turn their attention to say Deacon? So many ways to go. On the other hand...Cerys may be on the level and now all she can do is wait as the girls youve listed take their turns with him. What will he be lime after running that gauntlet? What happened to Stan? This was a chapter full of more questions than answers.
Date: August 18 2017 2:27 PM Title: The Cost of Betrayal
I'd say "Both!" As in; it's living up to its evil nature.
Author's Response:
Hmm nicely played
Date: August 17 2017 8:38 PM Title: The Cost of Betrayal
Duggernaut... As much as I love reading your wonderful work, I miss the feedback from you regarding our chapter reviews. Hope that you will have to time to add your comments again soon... take care...
Author's Response:
Hey Shrink you are absolutely right and I apologize for not responding sooner. Every review is a gift and while I have been incredibly busy there are no excuses to not reply to the people that have taken the time and effort to read and review. It is wonderfulnhave my writing supported so I will .ale the time to respond. Thanks again for the wake up call.
Date: August 17 2017 8:29 PM Title: The Cost of Betrayal
After Edith and Vesper complete their inquisition, it will be time to take the wax impression of Oliver. I'm still very curious what purpose the replicas of the Omega victims serve. It has to be more than just a keepsake to commemorate their brief existence. I think it's something darker and more sinister...
Author's Response:
Honestly the was casting were supposed to be effigies of the sacrices the women have made more than mementos of the lives they've stolen. But who knows right?
[Report This]Date: August 17 2017 11:32 AM Title: The Cost of Betrayal
I knew it; I knew it; I knew it!
Cerys is a dirty double-crosser.
Author's Response:
Scorpion and the frog. If a snake bites you is the snake evil or just living up to its nature?
Date: August 17 2017 9:55 AM Title: The Cost of Betrayal
Great chapter. I was hoping to hear a little more taunting from Vesper and a little more rage directed to her by Oliver. Hopefully Cerys' will release Cam before the damage becomes permanent. Oliver will never willingly betray Stan..
Author's Response:
Thanks just a little insight into the other side of things. Wait for it because Oliver has a few things to say...but then so does Edith
Date: August 16 2017 9:45 PM Title: The Cost of Betrayal
Dang still was hopping to see more of cam.
Author's Response:
Hey Vul Thanks for the read and review. I'm leaving Cams fate in doubt for the next little while. Is Cerys evil or is she going to help? That is the question I want to leave hanging especially because we are in the same unknowing place as Oliver. Patience though all will be revealed.
[Report This]Date: August 16 2017 5:51 PM Title: The Cost of Betrayal
"Okay, we changed the rules and didn't tell you. So now we're going to punish you for not following the rules you didn't know about." Yep, this story is set in California fer sher.
Not that I feel one bit of sympathy for Cerys. But poor Oliver.
I still have no faith in Harmony.
And now Oliver is going to be expected to betray Stan. Edith the psycho is going to go full spanish inquisition.
A real good look at how tiwsted these slimies are.
Thanks Duggernaut, you've done it again.
pix
Author's Response:
Hey Pix thanks for the review. Shit and fan have come together and there are so many ways this could go... BTW you havent seen slimy yet.