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Reviewer: Olo Signed [Report This]
Date: August 18 2016 8:51 PM Title: Insertion

This is my favorite chapter so far, and I'm not just saying that because vaginal insertion is my favorite tiny activity.  We're finally getting to know a bit about why the narrator took her victims, and we're seeing that she's capable of seeing them as people.  She has flickers of remorse for what she's done to the tinies, but then retreats to self-pity and self-loathing where's she's more comfortable.

What's interesting is that she doesn't really take pleasure from dominating the tinies; she doesn't see her power as evidence for her superiority or as justification for her cruelty.  She's more desperate than dominant.  A wily tiny might be able to give her some helpful advice, but I don't see her giving them the chance.

So, even with giant/tiny sex, there's no connection.  So very sad.

Reviewer: Olo Signed [Report This]
Date: August 15 2016 6:53 AM Title: Feet

Names make description easier.  Even if the narrator doesn't take the time to learn her tinies' names, she should make some up.

If you want to get closer to the personalities—of both the narrator as well as the tinies—consider writing the actual dialogue instead of just summarizing the conversation.

Reviewer: UserDoesNotExist Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: August 13 2016 3:14 PM Title: Feet

I liked this chapter. It was a weird sense of cruel but she seemed lonely too, like a complex character. Seeing the tinies embrace eachother and her reaction to it was also interesting, not sure why she'd vomit from it though.

Good stuff.

Reviewer: Olo Signed [Report This]
Date: August 10 2016 6:09 PM Title: Vore

The style so far is confessional, a sort of free-flowing diary.  We know that the narrator is trying to discover things about herself.  We don't know how old she is, but she mentions having a job, so she's out of school.  She seems to live by herself, and doesn't have anyone in her life that she's close to.  It's just her and the tinies.

Right now she still thinks of her victims as no more than bugs.  She hasn't displayed any curiosity about what their lives might have been like before she took them or what they might be feeling about their captivity or ultimate fate.  The only true verbal exchange has been to compel them to snitch on their fellow captive who tried to escape.

The irreversibility of the size change gives the narrator an excuse to pretend that her victims cannot return to humanity, but of course they retain their humanity to themselves.  Whether it becomes important to the narrator to investigate this aspect of her victims remains to be seen.

Fetish-wise, I love bound tinies, particularly when they're bound in demeaning locations or positions.  I enjoy the increasingly cruel progression of the narrator's experiments, but I'd like to hear more about how the narrator feels about them.

Reviewer: mikeesan Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: August 10 2016 10:45 AM Title: Vore

really interesting plot so far. I like more cruel plots. keep it going! maybe putting them in her brothers cereals, or glueng them on a toilet paper, or feeding them to a bird.

Reviewer: D W Signed [Report This]
Date: August 08 2016 1:27 PM Title: Gore

Nice start; but you may want to clean up the plural-singular pronouns and verbs (e.g. "he" becomes "they" then back to "him")

It would be interesting if she put a tiny in the snot tissue she blew her nose into then blew her nose on top of them again.  Better yet, just stuff a tiny up her nose.

Keep up the story.  Very interesting shrinking process by the way, it has lots of potential as does this girl's character. 



Author's Response:

You've predicted the future!

Reviewer: Olo Signed [Report This]
Date: August 05 2016 6:49 AM Title: Gore

A young sociopath, convinced of her non-humanity, commits atrocities in order to awake...empathy?  Guilt?  Disgust?  Any human emotion, really.

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