[Report This]Date: June 05 2016 11:42 PM Title: Chapter 1
I might sound like a broken record at this point, but I have to keep saying it: This is an excellent story :)
Author's Response:
Thanks. I am going to be moving this story away from my usual style and tags. Hopefully you'll still feel the same when the dust settles...
Date: June 05 2016 3:28 PM Title: Chapter 1
Also, there was no mention of Dwight.
Date: June 05 2016 3:27 PM Title: Chapter 1
Well, it felt like a dream becuase you start one paragraph with "his sleep was fitful" or something like that.
Then there was this long paragraph where Daryl says "what is this place". So I thought that it was a random place in his dream. Never thought that he was actually just thinking that while laying down.
Haha, I thought my beer analogy was clever.
Can't wait from the next chapter!
Author's Response:
The beer analogy was pretty clever.
[Report This]Date: June 04 2016 1:16 AM Title: Chapter 1
Still an excellent story :) (and I'll throw in with TomSpeedy on his theory about the beer, I at least think he probably brewed it using the piss somehow)
Author's Response:
Or it is really a can of beer...and this is not a dream
Date: May 30 2016 5:55 PM Title: Chapter 1
It certainly is an intriguing read. A little slow on answers but the plot is interesting. The was a story similar to this called, "The Incident at Forrest Lake" about a school being sent to another dimension but it had good giantess' in it as well as bad. It doesn't apear there will be any good ones in this story though lol
Author's Response:
Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts about this. I have tried to keep some things in the dark while pointing readers in the right direction. At the end of this all will be revealed as to what is happening...at least that's the plan
[Report This]Date: May 30 2016 5:44 PM Title: Chapter 1
Surprised the reviews are so slow in coming (by the standards of your other stories, anyway). Don't get discouraged, this is an excellent story :)
Author's Response:
Thanks for the nod. It's kind of funny stories I think meh should do okay sort of plod along and others I think won't catch do. I dunno... but again thanks for the read and review :)
[Report This]Date: May 24 2016 5:49 PM Title: Chapter 1
Can't say I expected this to be a mega+survival story.....I'm pleasantly surprised :)
Date: May 22 2016 3:22 AM Title: Chapter 1
Very good three chapters of the story; you have really focused on showing daryl as a true scumbag and eliminating any sympathy we as the readers would have for him. This is really important since he is the one who will be tortured or harmed and there will be a good deal of justice and cathartic reactions. What a lot of destruction stories do that put's me off is that the wrong characters tend to suffer the most and it ends up being a torture porn for someone who does not deserve it. However, here, I find myself rooting against Daryl, which is good.
On that note, please make sure you also develop the girl's chracters as well; they don't seem like mindless eating machines of destruction, so make sure you don't reduce them to that. We know what motivates them to attack Daryl, but why terrorize that town? Why eat that one guy and then piss in the building? Those questions should be answered through character development. Additionally, I hope that the girl's personallities are different and having a variaty of personas and beliefs and motifs will really hook in and engage your audience more. Maybe one of them doesn't like harming the townsfolk? Maybe one of them will end up not wanting to be the steriotypical 'Vengful destroyer'? Or, what if they all just disagreed on what to do with Daryl? Considering any of these would make this story seriously stand out amongst the cliche ones on this site.
Overall, great start to the story; I can see a LOT of potential with this and am looking forward to how you will write this :)
Author's Response:
Thanks for taking the time to read the story and share an insightful review. I concur about establishing a character deserving of his fate. This story is about to take shift. I will try and develop distinct personalities for some of the females that appear. There will also be additional males to enhance tension and an attempt to broaden the reader's impression of Daryl. Hopefully you will continue to provide feedback on what you feel is working and what isn't. Thanks again.
[Report This]Date: May 21 2016 10:27 PM Title: Chapter 1
Excellent start :)
Author's Response:
Thanks for the read and review. Like Shoebox I'll try and keep it fresh enough to be enjoyable. :)