Date: March 10 2016 2:17 AM Title: Chapter 18
I'm impressed to see a pretty engaging tale being told with no shortage of erotic material!
I look forward to future chapters!
Thank you! :DDD I thought I didn't have enough erotic stuff lmao. Guess I was wrong?
Date: February 20 2016 2:09 PM Title: Chapter 15
Well that was strange. They just met and are having sex already? It's something that I should have mentioned about Titan Emily too. Are all women in this world super lustful? Or is just Peter who isn't forward?
Author's Response: Well, Titan Emily sure is one lustful lady. That's just her. But Amy on the other hand is still a teenager, same with Peter, so their decision making isn't as forward as outsiders will look at it
Date: February 20 2016 2:03 PM Title: Chapter 14
Um, sex on a train? Remind me, where is Peter going? Does he have enough money for hotels and stuff? He has some money, sure, (like from the fight) but how long will it last?
Author's Response: Well, he is being shrunk after all. I guess it's harder to recognize? XD I don't even know. Peter has no idea where he's going. As for money, he actually has none from the fight because Carlos took it all (he never asked for it back) but he has his entire childhood savings, which he didn't get from his asshole step parents but instead by doing little jobs here and there. Here's my problem as a writer: I have these little details that I expect people to recognize instantly, which obviously isn't true. Gotta work on that :)
Date: February 20 2016 1:58 PM Title: Chapter 13
Amy is such an obvious 'honeytrap'. Peter is so naive. If someone came up to me, so froward like that, I'd be extremely suspicious. I'd definitely send the message that they're not wanted. I actually don't think that Amy is a very good honytrap – but because Peter is so silly he's falling for it.
Author's Response: The scary part is, honey traps aren't so obvious. Maybe the people who is so "omfg you little honey trapping villain" may just have a forward personality. And Peter might not do what you would do because he's, what's the word, chill? Maybe careless is a better word. I guess the best word is "kind". I won't go to "silly" though
Date: February 20 2016 1:54 PM Title: Chapter 12
Free public transportation? I wish there was that were I live. Anyway, these are nice 'bitsize' chapters which I can read during my lunch break; I must reiterate that I like that.
Author's Response: Good to hear! I don't know why I started writing these chapters really short, but it doesn't seem to be a bad thing
Date: February 17 2016 6:37 AM Title: Chapter 1
I know they said goodbye but I'm not convinced she's out of the story forever, she'll feature again at some point.
Of course I won't completley leave her out. I think her next appearance will be...rather interesting.
Date: February 17 2016 6:21 AM Title: Chapter 14
I think this is a little rushed, the last part where Amy says she is falling in love with Peter feels that way. This chapter is done better, seems Amy and Peter will be spending a lot of time together. I don't think Emily will be happy about that....
Yeah I felt like I overdid Amy's personality a bit too much. Oh well the past is the past. I don't think Emily had actual feelings towards Peter, it was more lust than love. Plus, they said goodbye XD
Date: February 16 2016 4:00 AM Title: Chapter 11
The story is in first person and yet you use the words "the father". It should say "my father". "The father" suggests that Peter doesn't know the man.
Author's Response: Whoopsies you have a thing with noticing stuff. Thanks :)
Date: February 16 2016 3:58 AM Title: Chapter 10
So...Peter is leaving but he does not know where to? That's strange. Going somewhere new without a plan.
Author's Response: Fits straight with his character doesn't it? To be honest, I don't have a plan for this story either XD. I mean, I have a really vague idea, but otherwise I'll create as I go. It's what I do with most of my stories lol
Date: February 15 2016 9:28 AM Title: Chapter 1
So...Amy huh? I don't think she'll ever be able to top Emily's giant breasts and body, not to mention the experiences they had in the Arena. What did you use as filler when you tried writing 1000 words?
Author's Response: Emily is kind of an adult, probably in her late 20s, while Amy is as I said 16, so her body won't be as mature and "perfected" (that just sounds awkward) as the Titan herself. As for experiences, we'll see about that. When I was writing for 1000 words, I was talking about the characters unnecessary feelings and really awkward dialogue, so yeah, that's that.
Date: February 14 2016 11:38 AM Title: Chapter 1
If Peter wants Emily to go along with her, he could just go back inside to the Arena and defeat her? She said that is the only thing holding her back and once someone finally beats her then she can leave go.
You should experiment with longer chapters, this is a world that has a lot more to cover. It seems Emily keeps the economy of the Arena going and there's so much you could cover if you at least write chapters of say, 1000 words.
Author's Response: Well, it would be a bit awkward if Peter joined again and fought the same person. Plus, victory is still not guaranteed. Good point tho. As you know, this story is always on Peter's perspective. He doesn't really know about the economy and all that. Plus, last time I tried to write a long chapter, I ended up having to fit in some useless text, which isn't what I want to do here. I hope you understand :)
Date: February 10 2016 4:13 AM Title: Chapter 8
How would they open the door and not realize that Titan Emily is coming? You'd think that they'd either see if hear her because she's so big. And why didn't Carlos trigger the transformation before? Two strange things.
Author's Response: The reason he never triggered it is because Pater never tried to fight back. As he said, he didn't want to cause any problems. But when he was up against Emily and forced to fight, things went down. As for Emily now, you'll find out :)
Date: February 08 2016 5:56 AM Title: Chapter 1
I'm not sure that I can render loads of people, like you say, in one scene. First of all, all of the different objects are stored in RAM, so I have to considerthat. Second, I don't have the time to create all those individual people. Not only that, I want the viewers to really notice Peter so having a large crowd wouldn't work.
Now, are you suggesting that the arena is more like a sumo ring? Any images of the Star Wars Episode Two arena you speak of? I don't follow.
I don't know how rendering works, so I'll leave it to the expert :)
As for Episode II arena:
Date: February 08 2016 4:02 AM Title: Chapter 7
The beast? Odd. And I can't believe Emily just raped Peter (kind of). That's crazy. I guess Peter is not the only one who can't control themselves. I suppose he did enjoy it though.
They might both be not able to control themselves, but in a very different way.
Date: February 08 2016 3:57 AM Title: Chapter 6
Alright, I misunderstood. Will a wrestling ring suffice as an arena? I can redo the image with an outdoor wrestling ring perhaps? Or maybe there's a way I can have the current area minus the underground. Now I'm off to read the next chapter. :)
Hm...I was thinking more of an arena like the one in Star Wars Ep II, the one with the mantis thing (hate that movie but loved the mantis XDD). There's a huge audience and has giant gates.
Date: February 07 2016 5:02 PM Title: Chapter 6
So she own Peter now? What happened? Or was it because he had nothing to go back to?
By the way, I just had to do this:
(If Emily is not accurate enough please tell me).
Author's Response: Wow gj. I like it. Emily is perfectly fine, but I didn't mean to say the arena is underground. It's out in daylight. The training place on the other hand is underground