[Report This]Date: March 26 2016 7:31 AM Title: Promotion
I'm going to have to jump off the bus here. There are elements here that remind me of real life events, and the story-telling is good enough to make that unpleasant. Thoughts so far:
*As someone who does biochem for a living, your science is good enough that I can whistle past it things which are "impossible," despite some obvious allowances youve made for plot purposes. Eg, having a lab lets you do all science, the speed with which changes occur. Good job there.
*The descriptions of the girls' physical appearance and outfits are top-notch, and the sex scenes are amazing - though I will say you're trying to paint such a complicated picture that you can get a little bogged down describing movement. I was going to say you could use more detail about the actual growth process, until the chapter with Priscilla in the hotel room which was just...WOW.
*The overall story and world-building is great, and keeps me engaged and interested. Priscilla is a contradiction, inconsistent, which could be sloppy characterization, but I strongly suspect you're doing it on purpose.
*I do have to note our protagonist is the only male in the story.
Overall A+, even if some of them character interactions are a little triggering. Seriously great work.