Date: November 19 2015 3:42 PM Title: Chapter 21
I'm going to be honest. I was excited to see a update from this story after a absense from it. But I was overall disappointed in the short chapter. I don't like the proposal coming too soon. I want to see more interactions from the characters especially with grace and the ex boyfriend. I also don't like how Sophia just handed over theo to Hannah like he was nothing. But it's still enjoyable.
Author's Response:
Hi hunterfury, thanks for the review and thanks for sharing your thoughts. Like Tomspeedy's earlier review he cited some of the same thoughts. I had been thinking over finishing this story with a possible launch into a part 2, though I'm not sure. I portrayed Theo as regressing with Sophie progressing, kind of a role reversal of sorts and her becoming a little reckless and intoxicated with her power over the increasingly diminished Theo. I appreciate your input, it helps giver some understanding and perspective from another's point of view.
[Report This]Date: November 18 2015 9:03 PM Title: Chapter 21
An unexpected development, to say the least. And, brilliantly crafted, to say the most!
Author's Response:
Thank you, as I mentioned in my response to Tom's review, I've been thinking of closing this one up, using the proposal as a springboard for a second part perhaps.
[Report This]Date: November 18 2015 8:20 PM Title: Chapter 21
I think this is a point where the plot is going to get a bit too deep.
I liked the interaction of Sophie, Theo, Grace and Olivia. Even the addition of Ted was good.
However, I think this proposition thing just seems like this story is going to get big, and I'm not if its time yet. It may be too soon.
I was kinda hoping for playtime chapters with all these characters. We got plenty from Sophie and Olivia. Grace had nothing so far, and Hannah is just getting started.
I think once each character has had a decent amount of play, then we can push this proposal. I just think this proposal will distract everyone one from their fun.
I like the story, but I'm not sure about these characters getting involved right now. In my opinion, laying low and acting normal seems the best way. Perhaps Olivia feels that this proposal risks her losing focus on Clay.
I hope there is at least a compromise where these ladies will have their fun while dealing with this project.
Author's Response:
Hey Tom, thanks for the review, I've been contemplating wrapping this story up and the proposal was a step in that direction, cleaning up some of the growing list of loose ends that are getting harder and harder to reconcile within the context of the story.