[Report This]Date: August 12 2015 7:17 PM Title: Chapter 10
Wow! I'm impressed most authors don't usually do these big fixes to their previous chapters. Then again, you are not most authors.
Your explanation in your response to my review was sufficient, but this is incredible. Now it all makes sense. Now I'm curious about Grace getting acquainted with Tom. (I mean Theo. Both these guys are lucky.)
Dr. Featherstone should keep the tape on Ted. I like him being encased. It makes the future events much more interesting.
Good update.
Author's Response:
Hey Tom thanks for your insight in chapter ten. It reads better now. I'm not going to go shrink ray crazy because it does get confusing. Like how complicated the contract became. It might be time for some more tinies to shuffle off to tiny heaven. We'll see
[Report This]Date: August 12 2015 6:52 PM Title: Chapter 10
Nice rewrite.
Author's Response:
Thanks. That's the value of reviews Tom pointed out some inconsistencies and I was able to do some damage control. I think it comes off better this way. Humbly speaking of course
[Report This]Date: August 07 2015 6:50 PM Title: Chapter 10
This chapter should be called "Betrayal".
I mean, both Theo and Clayton got caught! And handed over to their previous owners.
Wtf was Clayton doing in the tub? Was this a hint of some sexy fun that Andrea has done, or was it merely a trap so he couldn't get out?
Also, when did Grace act like she was drunk? She sounded like she just wanted sex and didn't even consider Theo's options.
Speaking of being drunk, Sophie is even worse than Hannah! She used to be the thoughtful one, and all of a sudden the tides have turned. (Wat if Hannah is caring all of a sudden?)
Lots of threesomes in your stories. Although I enjoy it, I would like to see some one on one action more.
I thought Olivia would take advantage of Ted. She did, but not the way I wanted to. Sophie is the one girl that has similar ideas that I have in mind.
Is she going to put Theo in her panties while Ted watches? Will Ted be put in there also? Who does Olivia get to play with? Ted or Clayton, or both?
Then Bryce shows up, and yeah, I agree. Three hot girls tackling me sounds great. Would I resist? Hmm. Probably not. (That's the scary part.)
Now Bryce will be Andrea's toy, and another happy ending to another side story.
Lots of stuff got skipped I think. We missed the threesome of Grace, Theo and Sophie. We missed Ted being shrunk, we missed what Andrea did with Clayton. I like the fast pace, but usually you include these details.
I want to see Sophie have fun with Theo and Ted, Andrea with Bryce, and most of all, Olivia with Clayton. I think it's time Dr. Featherstone got her revenge. :)
I can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Hey Tom,
The threesome with Sophie, Grace and Theo never happened as it was interrupted by the phone call from Olivia about Ted. Andrea put Clayton somewhere she thought he couldn't out of, the tub. Grace has a girl crush on Sophie, that's why she 'tasted' Theo, twice now and returned him to her. It's funny, the original title of the chapter was Betrayal (X2) There's some one on one coming up in Tom's Story for those characters.
[Report This]Date: August 07 2015 6:29 PM Title: Chapter 10
On a more serious note: I have a bad feeling Little Ted is going to wind up being "disciplined" by the virtually insatiable Hurricane Hannah.
Author's Response:
Interesting premise, like throwing a choice steak to a hungry wolf. The coterie of conspirators is expanding, it might be time for the hurricane to make landfall :)
[Report This]Date: August 07 2015 6:24 PM Title: Chapter 10
This would make a great Syfy Channel movie-of-the-week! Although, Roger Corman would probably re-title it "Frankenshrinkers."
Author's Response:
Lol, or Shrinkenstein!