Date: January 16 2017 3:55 PM Title: Chapter 1: In The Beginning
I don't why I'm replying now all of a sudden, but I feel I have to, just to get it off my chest.
Tucker's fight with Ronan was so unbelievably farfetched, it drove me crazy. I know you were trying to mkae him look cool, but there's no way he should have won the way he did.
For starters, the instant Ronan had Tucker in a bearhug, he was/should have been done for. If the man was strong enough to lift him off his feet and hold him in place, no amount of headbutting would make him release his grip. Certainly not enough in the window of time Tucker had before he asphyxiated.
Ten headbutts might seem painful, especially if right to the nose, but believe me it doesn't work. I know, because I tried to escape a bearhug myself like that. And it hurt me almost as much as it hurt my aggressor. Why? Because his skull was just as tough as mine. If you crash them together like that, you are cracking bone on bone. BTW, He did not let go, not because of my headbutt anyway.
Secondly, every headbutt would be weaker than the previous one. Why? Because every moment, he's still in the guy's grip. By exerting himself, he's actually losing even more oxygen than he was just by being held. Also the effectiveness of his attack is reduced by the fact that he doesn't have the ground to support him. A headbutt is made all the more powerful by throwing one's body weight. Tucker, being held up, is only using his neck muscles. If you watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1D-KijfBtZE, you'll notice the victim is using the guy's arm as a lever so that gives him more power. Also, keep in mind, this guy is not nearly as strong as Ronan and was only stopped by bullet to the head. Okay... That's going a bit off the point, but what I'm saying is, Tucker would have blacked out by the time he got five headbutts in.
Furthermore, if Ronan had any sense, he could have simply adjusted his hold and wrapped both hands (or just one) around Tucker's neck. He might not be smart, but he is a warrior and should know the fundamentals of dealing with opponents of varying sizes. Also, Tucker can't possibly be the first one to try this shit.
And let's assume he got out. Tucker would not have the strength to stand up, let alone kick his opponent with enough force to disorient him. Ronan, in your words, was only angered by the damage done to his nose and should have simply punched Tucker right then and there instead of tackling him. But even that would have rendered a man like Tucker unconsious or would have at least winded him beyond the point of recovery.
Somehow, not only is he still able to attack Ronan's leg, he also finds it in him to dodge every punch and keep on kicking. It's just ridiculous at this point. Even more so, when Ronan could have just backed up, or grabbed Tucker's leg. When you do the same attack more than once, even a moron is going to figure it out.
Also, if Tucker really had the strength to break Ronan's jaw (and the is not easy), he still would have most likely broken his own foot in the process. And the fact that Tucker is still able to keep moving after that. He's already exhausted his third wind at this point, and should not even be breathing.
Yes I know this is a fantasy story, but the way you wrote it gave me teh WRONG impression. Overuse of the word "seem", "seemed" "seemingly" --I counted eleven before the fight ended--kept me thinking WTF? How is he even alive? That's such BS! I should be cheering for T but from everything I'd seen from him earlier, there was nothing to suggest let alone prove that he was capable of such a superhuman feat. And Doc, no lie, no ordinary human could have done this.
Tucker could have won with more reaonable methods, such as biting, elbowing, crotchkicking, throat punching, hell, after getting free, however crazy that was, he could have done the exact same thing to his oppoent. Giving Ronan a chokehold would be doubly avantageous, because he can use his strength AND his weight to deal with him, just like Westley (Cary Elwes) did to Fezzik (Andre the Giant) in The Princess Bride. And yes, I know that he got slammed into rocks while he did that, but that did visibly hurt. Also, there were no rocks for Ronan to use as such, which means Tucker would only to had to worry about Ronan falling down. I know you want Tucker to be NOBLE and HONOUR, but this was a battle of survival and there is a difference between honour and stupidity
In conclusion, I say: be a little more creative with your fight scenes. This wasn't the only one I had problems with. The fight with Tucker and Tyrone was nonsense. If Ty wasn't trained to fight with his fists, he'd never be follish enough to challenge a man who is clearly more msucular (or was he not?) and who would obviously have to have some knowledge. And the fight against the Jessica double was resolved without much difficulty as was the fight with Tucker and Jessica: I take issues with spells being broken by "Speeches of Love". Why couldn't he have at least used that as means to get close enough to destroy the locket?
Sorry, this went on too long. I just thought you should do this in the future.
No hate intended. Still a good story overall.
Date: September 22 2016 3:16 AM Title: Chapter 73: Finale
This story has been a pretty big part of my routine for a long time now, with updates each Wednesday, so I'm very sad to see it wrap up - I will miss it. I'm pleased to see that the story kinda went full circle, and ended back in the everyday goings-on of Morgan - that's a very LOTR kind of ending! It does feel a little bittersweet though, and there is a palpable sense of anticlimax, but I do have some thoughts about it which I'll just blab about briefly.
I did not see the kissing thing coming at all, and I thought it was pretty cute for that to be the solution. I had a few theories which I thought were going to come to fruition: firstly I had a feeling that the bag of money would end up being a bottomless one, a bit like the 'humble' carpenter's cup in the 3rd Indiana Jones movie - it would prove to be a 'you chose wisely' sort of deal. Building on that, I then expected Tucker to have to trade that bag to the robed figure to save Jessica from her shrunken affliction, which he would have done, and they would have gone home with nothing, not because they failed, but because he gave it away for her.
Secondly, I expected Gwen to play a bit more of a part, even as a kind of tragic parable in closing, so her running off was, again, a bit of anticlimax. I thought for sure that she would instead try and wangle her way into getting Tucker to try and help her, and he could have been all smug like 'Bitch plz' and dropped her off at a tavern to turn tricks.
Thirdly, whilst I would have preferred Tucker to have earned some of his Father's respect by a) not dying, and b) actually being a Knight (you can't tell me his Dad would just shrug that off as no big deal because it doesn't bring in coin, surely he must realise what that would entail - honour, fighting prowess, influence etc), I quite like the idea that he's super dismissive, but then, after a while, things start to pop up that indicate how amazing his son has actually been. I'm talking like people bring tales back of heroic deeds and it sounds like his name (Tacker Martin), or influential people pass through and some of them have heard of him, or even someone he knows stops by, and then his Father's jaw just hits the deck. I also can't envisage him being a blacksmith for long, he'd be bound to get itchy feet and act as a kind of protector or ambassador for Morgan, earning the respect of the people because he's humble and worked hard.
But yeah, that's some of what went through my head. Overall, a thoroughly enjoyable read and a real tale for the ages - some great ideas and situations, and throughout, a sense of real companionship between our heroes.
Thankso the lengthy feedback and I am glad that you enjoyed. Maybe there will be more in the future but there will be a BFG Anthology series stating soon.
Date: September 21 2016 11:05 AM Title: Chapter 73: Finale
That's it the story is complete.
When you come to think about it the ening is a bit sad since Tucker is back to his boring life and there are no more adventurous to him on sight right now. However he did get Jessica in the end and that the greatest treasure he could get from the quest.
It's been so long ago when I started reading this story and it's so nice to know you got your next chapter waiting for you in the next week. I really waited for Wednesday to come each week. It's hard to find someone who is willing to commit for a story for such long and actually finish it and for that my good sir I truly wish to thank yoo :)
BTW the fact that the old mysterious man actually did make back was greatt and cleverly done.
I'm glad that you liked the ending an thank you for reading. It has been a joy writing it and maybe in the future Sir Tucker might have another adventure but of course he needs some R&R first.
Date: September 08 2016 12:40 PM Title: Chapter 72: Changes
I really love this story but in all honesty I don't like how Jessica is so small now. The story was focusing on Jessica and her giant size and her relationship with tucker and now that she is small it feels like the story has lost its touch. I wish she would be back to normal before this story ends cuz I was hoping for that happy ending.
Well we'll have to see what happens to her. The next chapter will be the last
Date: September 08 2016 5:53 AM Title: Chapter 72: Changes
It seems that the story took a sharp turn now. It feel so different. But I like it
Well enjoy it while you can since the next chapter is the final double length chapter of the series.
Date: September 08 2016 1:06 AM Title: Chapter 72: Changes
Not gonna feel bad about someone when they pin the blame for their woes on someone else and even now wish harm upon them for no good reason! Gwen hasn't learnt squat, she's still a horrible brat and honestly I don't see that changing anytime soon! Who in their right mind would help this broad? Tucker must be outta his goddamn mind! And I don't see this paying off in ANY way, if anything this is gonna bite him back. Anyway, great chapter!
Well Sir Tucker did feel some sympathy towards Gwen. He didn't want to just leave her to die so he is helping her slightly just so he knows that she will be in a relatively safe place. Maybe she'll learn during her time as a mortal but of course this is Gwen that we're talking about.
Date: September 04 2016 9:07 PM Title: Chapter 71: A Quest's End
Well, it's about damn time.
I'm not saying you took too long, I'm just satisfied that Gwen finally got her comeuppance. She's been a total bitch to everyone and it would have been so annoying if she had gotten away with it. I also like that you mentioned the existence of male gods, proving that the world is not just consisting of Godesses.
Speaking of which, the God that punished Gwen... she was rather undignified with her grammar, using the word: "fucking" instead of "raping" and saying "happy" instead of "pleased" or "goodbye" instead of "farewell". Not complaining, just noting that she seems more... modern. Definitely would not want to get her bad side.
I hope Gwen DOES stay that way. in my opinion, she is WAY past the point of redemption and deserves to live out her mortal live--- actually scratch that. She doesn't deserve to die at all. That would be granting her peace. If anything, she should retain her immortality but remain forever trapped in her human form. That would be the best curse.
And then the shocking twist: Jess ends up miniaturized. And not just at her frail five-foot-nine mark... but at 0.5 inches. That's even smaller than Ant-Man, Grey Matter or the Atom. What does THIS mean? (Also, loved the role reversal, Tucker picking her up)
ONE LAST THING. No offense, but a lot of your sentences seemed fragmented, suggesting you were in a hurry to get it done. It didn't affect the story, but I... well I just have a habit of pointing these things out. Désolé.
Thanks for the comment. Jessica isn't quite that small but she definitely is much smaller than normal. For Gwen she'll do everything she can to regain her powers but whether she will or not is another matter entirely.
Date: August 31 2016 5:11 PM Title: Chapter 1: In The Beginning
And this ends the warpath that the "Mistress of Size" created. Shame about Jessica though. She must have overlooked her growth and in result, her body didn't take it well. It'll definitely be interesting seeing how she will handle things being 3.8 centimeters tall.
Well she might not take it well for now. But she might get used to it.
Date: August 31 2016 7:41 AM Title: Chapter 71: A Quest's End
Wow did not expect that to happen. I guess next chapter is the last and hopefully we will get some answers to what just happened.
Well maybe not the last chapter but very close to it. The series is almost at its climax.
Date: August 31 2016 3:41 AM Title: Chapter 71: A Quest's End
Finally! Some consequences for Gwen's ridiculous behavior up to this point! I mean seriously what a brat, she's always come off as a stupid little brat with too much power! Sucks about Jess though, hopefully she gets to be at least normal human size!
Thanks for reading and I thought that it was a fitting punishment for her. Death or banishment didn't seem to be bad enough for her. This is her worst nightmare, hopefully Jessica will grow in size. But for now she has some time to be small.
Date: August 25 2016 3:28 PM Title: Chapter 70: The Final Stretch
"Yes with hopefully several tons of gold along with us."
Eventually they came to another wall but unlike before they could clearly see a switch on the wall right next to it. On the wall was written the words 'Riches Of The Ages, Enter If You Must.' This was a clear indication that this was the treasure chamber and just the sheer sight of it gave Sir Tucker a second wind. He quickly walked towards it and he looked at it for a few moments.
The writing itself seemed to be written in gold and this was just another indication that the treasure was inside. Without any hesitation he pressed the switch on the wall, at first nothing seemed to happen but slowly they began to hear a grinding noise. His excitement grew as the grinding became louder.
Eventually the door itself began to rise and both Sir Tucker and Jessica waited to see the treasure on the other side.
And now there is no treasure inside. ;3
Who knows? You maybe right but you also could be wrong. We'll have to see.
Date: August 18 2016 5:25 PM Title: Chapter 1: In The Beginning
And one more thing:
"I thank you for seeing reason my Lord. Despite your defeat this day I do not wish any ill will on you. You and your army will be allowed to return home but these lands belong to me and my family until the end of days." She then turned to see the carnage that was taking place all around her. She needed this to stop as soon as possible to ensure the most amount of survivors. "Everybody listen up!" Her voice was loud enough to be heard by everyone. "Lord Sherringham has surrendered, all of his men are to lay down your arms right now or else you will answer to me! All of you are permitted to return home but your swords will remain where you drop them. You may remove your dead and wounded, my men will not stop you. There is no shame in defeat this day, you were defeated before you started. At least now you can return to your loved ones and tell them the tales of this day."
This was by far the dumbest speech I ever heard. I mean I know she's trying to sound bold, but who the hell would want to remember a day like this on the losing side? And seriously, if she didn't wish ill on them, WHY THE HELL did she mercilessly slaughter many troops. Surely that was unecessary. They could not hurt her. Maybe she should have warned them AFTER she had grown.
Again I'm sorry that you didn't like it. Maybe they can tell tales about how they saw a gaint woman. Also in not that many troops died in the end, a low percentage of the full army.
Date: August 17 2016 11:25 PM Title: Chapter 69: Home Stretch
I think it's safe to say now that the end is nearly upon us now. I have reasons to believe this is not the last we will hear from O'Hare since they still need to see her again in the way back and she might be up to something.
Also there is the matte whetherer the treasure will be pure gold and that stuff or something else (I just hope it won't be the freinship and love they got a long the way or that kind of cliche).
Well you'll just have to wait and see what it is. Maybe Lady O'Hare will pop up again.
Date: August 17 2016 8:39 PM Title: Chapter 1: In The Beginning
This latest chapter was a bit of a letdown in comparison after the rather exciting last two. Felt unnecessary and like a rehashing of other chapters concering Tucker and Jess.
Seriously, we get it, they're in love, we don't need to reminded every other chapter, and overdramatizing with 'it time had stopped for them'. Not to sound super-harsh but this was hardly the most touching moment.
And while I appreciate Jessica finally returning to 'normal' it did not require a whole chapter of her adjusting, nor did it need to involve her toying with her fiancee. Also O'Hare's exit was so rushed that it diminished her impact and felt like a rather lame sideplot.
Despite the good action, there have been MANY sideplots that DON'T connect back to the main story. I was hoping for O'Hare's story to be explored more and more of Gwen. I mean she just disappears for a dozen chapters, shows up VERY briefly and then leaves again. This needs to be resolved. And as for O'Hare, I expected her to be more of an obstacle in their quest.
Nevertheless, the story makes good with Tucker and Jess nearing the Home Stretch. Hope the final part lives up.
Hopefully you'll think that the next chapter lives up to your expectations. I'm sorry that you didn't enjoy the last chapter that much.
Date: August 10 2016 8:20 PM Title: Chapter 68: Victory and Sorrow
Not much to say about this one. It was obvious and needed chepter to continue.
So why exactly they nedd cart and horses for the treasute? Wouldn't Jessica be able to carry it? herself?
Yes she would be able to carry some of it but to what they're expecting she can't carry it all.
Date: August 03 2016 5:25 PM Title: Chapter 67: The Battle For The Mines
just wow. One of the best chepters so far with no doubt. Tucker actually killd people and that's scary considering he was such an inoccent boy at the beginnig. Who knew how much this quest will change him.
one thing i could not but notice was the fact they had cannons but not handguns wich is basiclly the same but on smaller scale, but i might be wrong on this.
And the fact that it was a kill or be killed situation. In the middle of a battle second guessing can get one killed. He took no joy in the act.
Well Cannons did exist for many years before the invention of handguns. Maybe one day the technology will be invented but not quite yet