[Report This]Date: August 27 2014 12:10 PM Title: Chapter 4: The Past
So, Signor Morricone was the unsung hero who dubbed the harmonica music for Charles Bronson in ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST? Thanks for the info!
Btw: in case it wasn't obvious in my Western pastiche? Becky ate those slave traders!
Author's Response: Morricone does the best western themes. Haha cool, I read that part.
[Report This]Date: August 27 2014 12:07 PM Title: Chapter 3: The Man with the Harmonica
Is the Stranger reminiscing about Georgia? Because, if memory serves, Tucumcari is actually in New Mexico.
Author's Response: The stranger is reminiscing about his original home back in Georgia. After the killing of his family and his time with the guerrillas he drifted out west. Yes Tucumcari is one of the towns he drifted through.
[Report This]Date: August 27 2014 12:04 PM Title: Chapter 2: Monica
Not bad! Just some additional trivia you might find interesting. A roan horse is one that usually has an intermingling of silvery white hairs among a predominantly darker color. So, I'm now assuming that the "dark horse" mentioned in chapter 1 might be a dark blue roan (rather than a basic black one). As for the Mason-Dixon Line? That was originally the boundary line between Maryland and Pennsylvania, as established by two surveyors of those names back in the mid-1700's (when the first 13 States were still British colonies). But, of course, by the 1860's, it had acquired its presently much broader meaning. Which is, basically, every state between--and southward of--the Mississippi, Ohio, and Potomac Rivers.
Author's Response: Thanks for the awesome trivia.
[Report This]Date: August 27 2014 11:55 AM Title: Chapter 1: The Stranger
Definitely a prologue worthy of one of Eastwood's "spaghetti Westerns."
I'm now off to chapter 2. :-)
Author's Response: Thanks I'm a huge fan of Clint Eastwood.
[Report This]Date: July 25 2014 4:34 PM Title: Chapter 3: The Man with the Harmonica
Better. Thanks for listening.
Author's Response:
No problem, thanks for pointing out my premature sex scene. I had a gut feeling, that it was too soon. Thank for the advice!
Date: July 25 2014 8:47 AM Title: Chapter 1: The Stranger
Well you don't need to go that far but maybe for future chapters bear that in mind.
Author's Response:
Chapter is already updated, and changes have been made. Its good you made me rethink the chapter, I wanted to reveal some of the strangers past.
Date: July 25 2014 12:31 AM Title: Chapter 1: The Stranger
I like the stranger coming, keeps the audience guessing what will happen next. However the sex scene was too soon for me. Might want to develop things more before characters start bedding each other.
Author's Response:
Ok, I shall delete chapter 3 and shall make minor changes. Thanks for the critique!
Date: July 24 2014 12:16 AM Title: Chapter 2: Monica
You might want to improve your spacing, its hard to read. I am curious to see where this is going, you got me interested.
Author's Response:
Ok, I will adjust my spacing. Yeah I tried to put an intersting spin on the introduction of the GTS Monica. As it goes along she will have a "bigger" role. * Funny pun.
[Report This]Date: July 23 2014 5:29 AM Title: Chapter 1: The Stranger
Okay, kind of mysterious and badass. You a fan of Carycomic's work?
Author's Response:
I have not read Cartycomics works, but I am a fan of spagetti westerns and clint eastwood. Also expect the facade of mysterious and badassery to slowly dissapear, people arent robotic killing machines. By the way thanks for the review.