[Report This]Date: November 17 2014 8:17 PM Title: Chapter 1: MVP
I just hope that shift isn't from oh look at how nast she (maggie or judy) is now and my she is actually trying to return scott to normal change. Or that Maggie might fall in love with her brother type of change. If there is a change I kind of widh it to be darker since I cannot see maggie or Jusy ever being "gentle" to scott. And yess the explanation of the use you had for the repeated use of to makes since. I just get the feeling there is a better phrase. I also hope that the change you might give them will not be dramatic. I like the characters and hope they keep most of there personalities. Also as I said before it seems to me that Maggie is the darker between Judy and herself.
Author's Response:
I'm hoping not to spoil what's coming, though this story is definitely meant to represent a turning point for some of the characters. Nobody's going to be falling in love with anybody, but there will be a mix of positive/negative turns at the end that will make sense in light of some of the events of the climax. All I'll say for now is that you may change your mind about who's the darker person in Scott's life by story's end. ;)
[Report This]Date: November 17 2014 7:02 PM Title: Chapter 18: One Small Step for Man, One Small Bite for Maggie
Great chapter. Ifound little spelling/grammar mistakes. The one I found was "...beneath her and escape it for however long he had to to fend off a breakdown.". You have a repeated to. I don't know if you wanted a different word or what. I know everyone makes mistakes and this story is almost perfect, in my eyes. Just thought I should point it out if you had something else in mind. I love the dominieering attittude. I cannot wait to see what happens next. For me I like almost anything with shrunken people as long as its not with giants and that it fits the characters personalities. No a few others along with myself wished for this to happen since we were reading the incident with his mom and the lead up in chapter 17. I just hope Maggie get more "creative" than copying what her mom does. Now on to the general story outline. I read some posts on how they would want Scott to enjoy it or that they should be less "severe". However to me its weird if he enjoys his "imprisonment" and that he would enjoy being shrunk down by his family. I also hope you do not change any of there behaviors. They seem to fit perfectly with my image in my mind. Some people like the wuthor to tweek jis characters to fit there image. I believe this is wrong. I have read about the same characters since they showed up in "Mommy's Time out".
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review! That actually isn't a typo, as it's saying "however long he had to," then the infinitive of fend, so "however long he had to to fend off," if that makes sense; I agree it could've been worded better. Maggie will be doing a bit more mouthplay than her mom, as there's still more to come in the next couple chapters. I don't plan on having Scott enjoy his imprisonment, particularly since there are some nasty punishments coming his way soon. I can't say there won't be some shifts in character in this story and the next one, but I promise there will be a reason for it (as opposed to me just changing things up due to boredom). I appreciate hearing your thoughts.
[Report This]Date: November 17 2014 9:20 AM Title: Chapter 18: One Small Step for Man, One Small Bite for Maggie
Another great chapter, keep up the good work :)
Author's Response:
Thanks!
[Report This]Date: November 13 2014 9:13 AM Title: Chapter 5: Judy to the Rescue
Any chance we'll see Judy petting/massaging Scott again? Maybe as a treat for a job well done? He seems to enjoy it.
Author's Response:
There will be a bit more of that later on, though maybe not so much in Scott's favor.
[Report This]Date: November 13 2014 2:38 AM Title: Chapter 17: Unfortunate Discovery
Let me guess.
Since Judy will be back in one hour, I'm guessing that this is the deal that Maggie comes up with:
Maggie pulls out the weeds very quickly to save Scott the work, but Scott now has to venture into Maggie's mouth for the rest of the hour.
Author's Response:
;)
There's actually one extra caveat involved in the deal, but you're basically on the money.
[Report This]Date: November 13 2014 1:34 AM Title: Chapter 17: Unfortunate Discovery
I had to take a break and when I come back to discover you have a new story I had to read all the previous tim-outs again to remember the characters. These stories are great. You have very little to no grammar/spelling errors. Especially in the newer chapters. You have a great dunamic and I love how each chapter has a climax and that each section gets a little bit more of "will she really do it". Like here in chapter 17 I am hoping Maggie does put him into her mouth and eventually goes beyond this barrier as well. I love the characters in the story. Let me just say how grateful I am that you keep M-m interactions to a minimal. My favorite character is maggie and I sure hope that there is more "alone' time with her brother. However, I feel that Judy is a litle more docile and it makes me question where her hunger from the previous stories went. Especially, I think the third installment, when you make her remember when she was a kid and put her hamster fluffy 2 in her socks. So to me I have to believe that there is more than meets they eye. I just hope that she loosens her rules with maggie. I cannot wait to see what maggie has in store for the "litlle" criminal. Keep up the great work.
Author's Response:
Thanks very much for the read/review. The next few chapters will be fairly Maggie-centric, so you're in luck there. Judy's strange behavior this story will explained in time; she has definitely not just decided to soften up.
[Report This]Date: November 12 2014 6:53 PM Title: Chapter 17: Unfortunate Discovery
One of the tyranical teen girls put in place? Surely this won't stand...
Author's Response:
Surely not...
[Report This]Date: November 12 2014 10:26 AM Title: Chapter 17: Unfortunate Discovery
It seems like Maggie's on thin ice and doesn't even realize it. I hope we see Judy using the PMRD on Maggie soon.
Speaking of Judy, it seems like she's starting to realize that Maggie is a little too interested in her brother lately and might go to far. I mean, if she feels the need to threaten her with the PMRD. Am i reading that right?
Thanks for reading. We won't see Maggie affected by the PMRD just yet, though; Judy is actually a bit less concerned about how her children are interacting than she seemed to let on there.
Author's Response:
Date: November 08 2014 7:17 AM Title: Chapter 16: Callback
It might be difficult to do at his size, but he needs to confront his mother about Ella. That he's noticed via caller ID that she's been calling. That he overheard Maggie talking to her and he gets the idea that his relationship is in REAL trouble. And how important that relationship is to him. Its probably the only thing he really has to look forward to at the end of his sentence. He's been pretty close to rock bottom before, but he always seems to find a way to rally himself. A breakup could be the final straw for him.
Author's Response:
You're right that Scott probably ought to be weighing his options. Part of why he's doing this is that Maggie, at least, can more or less be predicted in her patterns, mean as they are. Judy's recent behavior has unnerved him enough that, at least for now, it's a less attractive possibility than making a deal with his sister.
[Report This]Date: November 07 2014 7:16 PM Title: Chapter 16: Callback
I'm feeling some compasion for the little guy here...well played.
Author's Response:
Thanks!
[Report This]Date: November 07 2014 9:56 AM Title: Chapter 16: Callback
Only every 24 hours! Finally some good news!
I thought he should be asking his mom to call Ella, and I was goingto write he should ask her to just explain to Ella the "no phone rule" - ehm, maybe somehow insist she doesn't let anyone else do it - and then it turns out she's actually sympathetic...
I always assumed he couldn't bring himself to discuss those things with her, especially after MT1, but now it's muchmore likely she suspects that Maggie isn't lettimg him talk - that's some good news, for real this time!
PS
I'm not sure what's so terribly wrong with my brain, but whenever I read this sort of things I can't help but think that Maggie is worse than Julia - that girl was 99% sincere & only followed her rules, the rules were for the tinies' great good, and anytime she had to hurt them it was their fault...
PS-2
This time seriously: if she ever gets the chance, Ella should play with his tiny boyfriend like in the first installment of the series; most of the things he had to face could be redone consensually & in a playful tone by a loving girlfriend - what better way to get over, say, sufferinginMaggie's socks than to (eg) make it some sort of lover's game/laugh about it? (stupid example: try to tickle her, make her laugh within 5 minutes, she'll do X for you; fail, you'll take her to a romantic movie)
Author's Response:
Interesting what you say about Maggie and Julia. One thing to consider though is that as damaged as they both are, Maggie doesn't stick to her own rules mostly because she has to keep convincing herself that she should be able to do whatever she wants; somewhere underneath, she's a little more human. Julia, meanwhile, is so deep in her mania that she can follow her code and feel totally confident.
Ella is going to appear a bit differently than she did in the first story, partly because there was sort of a do-over after that first one for the characters. There will still be fun to be had though.
Date: November 05 2014 8:32 AM Title: Chapter 15: Taking the Plunge
30 chapters! See, it's worth to read comments ^^
Date: November 05 2014 8:27 AM Title: Chapter 15: Taking the Plunge
(resisting the temptation to read the other comments) I don't care if the cream is real, she's faking it. And if not, well, it doesn't matter, she was going to do it anyway, just because it's her... Seriously, these two chapters are GREAT!
[OT] I had to look up "cute as a button"; https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/171282/cute-as-a-button is funny (for some definition of fun)
Author's Response:
You may be onto something with Judy's "tooth ache." ;)
[Report This]Date: November 05 2014 8:21 AM Title: Chapter 14: Mommy's Maw
Toothache... I'm used to being surprised by her actions, but I swear this one was surprising even by her standards (and even knowing she always has a reasonable official explanation for what she does).
Oh - "he could tell Judy had made any attempt", shouldn't it be "hadn't"? (or "an")
Author's Response:
Good catch on that typo.
[Report This]Date: November 03 2014 10:38 PM Title: Chapter 15: Taking the Plunge
Really well written I love when this is heading, I get the feelimg it's gonna go wrong very fast for Scott if he falls off that tooth
Author's Response:
Thanks! Scott's trouble inside giant mouths definitely isn't over yet.
[Report This]Date: November 01 2014 2:45 PM Title: Chapter 15: Taking the Plunge
Poor Scott...somewhat
Author's Response:
Just somewhat.
[Report This]Date: November 01 2014 1:40 PM Title: Chapter 15: Taking the Plunge
Very nice descriptions. So glad that Judy's mouth had a pleasant smell to it at least. But how does her closing her lips but leaving her jaw fixed not strain her muscles? I mean she just closes her lips over her teeth and still has her jaw fixed to allow Scott to still do his job, my thing is that her jaw would still hurt from this regardless if her lips were parted or not. So why force Scott to work in the dark for nothing...(besides cruelty which I don't believe is the case in this instance)
Anyways, I'm really looking forward to see how Judy "rewards" Scott for this chore because it will undoubtedly be something of her choosing(hopefully foot related because she wants her toes extra pretty). At any rate I can't wait to see what happens next.
aaron
PS will Maggie(I'm almost positive that is the sister's name) be shrunken by Judy in this story or will there be another where her and Scott are Judy's personal assistance?
Author's Response:
Interesting that you point out how Judy technically wasn't making it easier by closing her mouth; I wouldn't totally discount the possibility of Judy just doing something to show who's in charge...
Maggie will not be shrinking in this story, though anything could happen in later ones. Thanks for reading!
Date: October 28 2014 10:34 AM Title: Chapter 14: Mommy's Maw
Does she truly want her son to become a strong and indepedant man? All these humilating experiences is turning him into a scared nervous wreck. Its going to take years of therapy to make him anywhere near a normal functioning person. The first thing he should do if and when he's released is take the next bus out of town and not look back. Divorce himself from his disfunctional family. I place this story in the category of "I can't watch anymore of this, but its too complelling to put down". The author must be doing something right, but it feels so wrong at the same time.
Author's Response:
It's a good question you're asking. All I'll say is that Judy may not want her son to turn out quite as independent as she sometimes tells him. Glad to hear you're having difficulty looking at this story directly!
[Report This]Date: October 27 2014 11:57 PM Title: Chapter 14: Mommy's Maw
Amazing story and chapter :) can't wait to see where this goes!!!
Author's Response:
Thanks. It'll be shown very soon.
[Report This]Date: October 27 2014 6:11 PM Title: Chapter 14: Mommy's Maw
Great stuff.
Author's Response:
Thanks!