Date: October 08 2022 9:28 PM Title: Chapter 1
The action is very nice, and there’s a good use of pacing and flow in the story, as you used multiple perspectives for that. I would just like a bit more description for the action scenes themselves.
Author's Response:
I'll try to be more descriptive. Thanks!
[Report This]Date: September 15 2016 5:26 PM Title: Chapter 1
This chapter is fun because it shows that both of the girls are smart. Laura just wants to keep herself amused I guess. I wonder if the origin of these people will be explained in later chapters? Loved what Laura did at the end.
Date: March 15 2016 2:06 PM Title: Chapter 1
Just finished chapter 1. Well done with the ladies different views.
Later,
Diesel
[Report This]Date: May 22 2014 9:26 AM Title: Chapter 1
This story is outstanding. The only thing was that(at least for me) it was a little confusing when you switch in and out of first person. But overall I really enjoyed this. Can't wait to see what happens next to these tiny humanoids.
aaron
PS can't wait for the barefoot stuff : )
Date: May 21 2014 9:04 AM Title: Chapter 1
I am interested but you could be a bit more organised when it comes to the changr in perspective, add like a line or divider or something. It would help a lot.