Date: February 05 2017 12:29 PM Title: Prologue
Jesus dude almost 300,3000 words? You could write a novel.
Date: February 05 2017 12:10 PM Title: Prologue
Hey there buddy! I've been reading this amazing story for a while now and I have to say I love it! The way you turned Janna into a more gentle giantess at the beginning of the chapter to a rather cruel and voracious one was brilliant and dare I say, sexy. Thorwal attacking Laura was a nice twist to it. You really know how to keep the reading on the edge of their seat and your writing is top-notch and very descriptive. Keep it up! ;)
[Report This]Date: November 06 2016 6:25 PM Title: Prologue
Hi just wanted to say that i really love your story and encourage you to keep writing it!
I really enjoy how the girls try out different roles and explore their options within the fantasy world. While it is sometimes hard to understand how their morals work, both girls are memorable and different which is really nice.
Although i (and everyone else, i suppose ^^) like it most when you write about the two girls you managed to create an interesting storyline with the other characters, too.
I also wonder what happens at Lauraville atm - if you don't intend to jump back in time from a narrators perspective to cover what happens there i would imagine that the situation there will have significantly changed the next time it gets covered (e.g. when Laura/Janna return there). It seems like a bit of a hole storywise - which is understandable as everyone wants giantess action (i hope i expressed myself correcty and you can actually understand what i mean).
Anyway, thanks a lot for the story again :) i keep checking for updates way more often than i should ^^
Author's Response:
Thanks for your review!
Lauraville is in suspense. Life is dragging on since our giantesses left and the food shortage was resolved. There might be mundane stuff going on, cheating, people running away, maybe some crime, but nothing out of the ordinary. Even Nagash still keeps herself restrained. But something big is about to happen that is going to be very important. We'll have to wait a while longer to see how that turns out though.
[Report This]Date: November 04 2016 5:03 PM Title: Prologue
Man, so many good things to say about this story.
First, despite their "psycho" tendencies the girls actually seem human and feel like they have their own motivations and points of view. They don't feel like just puppets of the author like in a lot of violent stories.
Second, just the right amount of world-building and character development: enough to make the world feel alive, but not so much that it gets boring.
I love how you handle the interactions between Laura & Janna and the tiny people. You really nail the contrast between their amusement & whimsy and their toys' desperation. Whenever they start to pick up or otherwise interact with a character you like, it's sooo wonderfully tense (Poor Rayades!). The writing really helps the reader identify with both sides I think.
I have no idea how you do this so well but I am super happy that you're still writing.
[Report This]Date: September 17 2016 9:25 AM Title: Prologue
This looks like one of the all-time greatest stories on this site :)
[Report This]Date: September 14 2016 5:32 PM Title: Prologue
I've been a lurker for so long finally decided it's time to review. I love the start of this. It sets up everything pretty good. The characters are good and they balance each other out. Would you mind if I go on a review spree?
Author's Response:
Knock yourself out. :)
Date: September 14 2016 1:21 AM Title: Prologue
This story has been a hell of a yarn really. I didn't see it lasting this long back when I first read it but you are still at it and still delivering good stuff still so guess I'll wait and see what's next !
[Report This]Date: August 21 2016 8:02 PM Title: Prologue
Very good story!
You really put a lot of effort in it.
Would more frequent updates, but shorter chapters be an idea, or would this ruin the story?
Author's Response:
Thanks. Yeah, that wouldn't work. I need to be able to go back and change stuff to make the whole thing more round and keep it from turning into one of those snuff-porn stories entirely. I tried writing chapters in advance and then publish them steadily bit by bit. But I'm much too itchy to publsih for that and I have great gaps in my writing time, so it didn't work out very well for the story, though I got a ton of reviews when I tried. Most chapters won't be near as long as that last one anyway. I don't really now how that happened either. I feel like the next chapter is almost already done by the way, so stay tuned. Thank's again.
[Report This]Date: August 20 2016 1:23 AM Title: Prologue
For the longest time my favorite story on this website was Jacksmith's magnum opus, Julia. It still might be my favorite. Jack's use of character work and emotion allows me to view it as a real story, despite the more porn-y parts, like the self-insert protagonist and the unnecessary sex parts. It is a porn story, I had to keep telling myself, this is the best it gets.
I've just finished Chapter 6 (AKA Chapter 5), and it seems like the end of a TV season of sorts, so I figure I might as well write about your story and my thoughts on it so far.
So far, the first six/five chapters are the best story I've ever read on this site, because there are a lot of moments where it doesn't feel too porn-y. Ultimately the only part that kinda has that feel to it is when Laura asks for all the girls, but even then that was kind of just the one part. And for anyone not caught up reading this, spoilers until the final paragraph.
You broke major GiantessWorld.net rules by killing Marvin off. Not literally, where you have like, I don't know, done something against the site regulations. But doing that showed me this was a different story. Being the only true "narrator" of the story, you really felt for him, and I know I inserted myself into his shoes. After surviving being pissed on, and the sacrifice, to see him die gives you major props.
By the way, being a GoT and ASoIaF fan, I can tell you're one too. You killed off the main character to shock audiences. You use the terms "little lord", "usurper", "sellsword" and "bastard." But it's not too in your face, don't get me wrong. It actually kind of fits. Having these modern girls stuck in a fantasy type world, it makes sense to evoke, reference and even come close on parodying one of the most successful fantasy series out there.
All in all, I can't wait to read more. And at the next end that feels like a proper season, I'll post an update, say how my thoughts might have changed, or congratulate you on how thy haven't. I have high hopes, George R. R-oops-I mean squashed123. I make that mistake all the time. *wink*
Author's Response:
Thank you. And yes, the influences are many. When I played Tony Hawk's Pro Skater as a kid, I bought a skateboard and went out, skating for real. Now, when I listen to the GoT audiobooks I get the itch to write a story for myself. But GoT is by far not the only influence, there are at least two other that should be easy to point out. Let's see if you can do.
I hated Marvin from the fucking get-go. He survived this and survived that and wouldn't die, the stupid fucker. I was so releaved when he was dead.
If you are up to chapter five now, I dare say there is a lot you can look forward to, even though it gets a bit porny at times. Please take your time and let me know what you think. I would especially like to know if there is visible improvement in my writing and how you like the dialogues. Thanks again, and enjoy.
Date: March 16 2016 1:02 PM Title: Prologue
Good story. You write very long chapters and don't even beg for reviews ;)
I hope a certain kingdom gets destroyed.
Date: March 15 2016 4:08 AM Title: Prologue
Yes, I've only read the prologue. And this review was done in the context of you contacting me on Devianart. I believe I had answered all of your questions, though you never told me if I had answered them sufficiently or not. I'm happy to compare and contrast older segments with newer ones. After all, I've heard good things about the story "Evolution Of Mice". I don't if that story will appeal to me in terms of genre, but I was like, "So this is that author. But Saturn Seven has potential so I'll give it another go.
Author's Response:
Right, I knew your name rang a bell.
My VPN stopped working because of a new router and I cannot access Deviantart (or facebook, youtube, google, you name it.) In the country I am currently in.
Very sorry for the inconvenience. You have answered my questions. I will get back to you on this matter as soon as I have normal internet again. I can't even access my Email-account right now.
Date: March 15 2016 1:17 AM Title: Prologue
I have mixed feeling about the chapter. It's well written in places, and in terms of spelling and grammar I see no major issues, but there were a few things I didn't like. The first thing that stood out to me was "large branch of the oak tree",
They have oak trees on an alien planet? I get that maybe they look like oak trees, but that seems like a lazy way to describe the trees, unless you literally mean they are oak trees. When Jenna points out that they are oak trees that's fine because that's what they look like to her, but as the narrator, basically, you have more liberty to describe how they look.
Second, I didn't like the way the perceptive suddenly shifts to the little people. You refer to King Aele with actually introducing him as a character first. I found out that you suddenly switch like that considering the reader has just been getting introduced//used to Jenna and Laura.
When it suddenly says " The Gods were angry." I thought to myself: "What? Jenna and Laura are deeply religious? They don't strike me as the superstitious type.” It was only after I read the following paragraphs that I realized that the chapter was not being told from the perceptive of Jenna and Laura's anymore.
And, by the way, sorry for taking this long to revieww. I hope the review is not dissapointing. I mean it's science fantasy as it's not trying to get the reader to believe (where as science fictioon does try to get the reader to believe). Maybe I'll read a bit more later as I feel the story has potential, but the execution seems a little off at the moment (or at least in the prologue)
Author's Response:
Which chapter did you read? The latest one or the prologue?
If it's the prologue I absolutely agree.
In the prologue and the chapters immediately after, the writing is still crude, I'm still trying to find my way into the story. I added dashes in later chapter to let the reader know when the perspective shifts. It gets a lot better from there, trust me. When I re-read the old chapters now I'm feeling kind of embarassed.
Please read on.
And many thanks for this review. Keep it comming.
Date: March 02 2016 4:02 AM Title: Prologue
Well I read your prologue and I must say its pretty cool. I am looking forward to reading this.
Later,
Diesel
Date: July 29 2015 9:54 PM Title: Prologue
Dude! When you deliver, you DELIVER! 30k in the line-up, can't wait to read this and the rest! :D
BTW, since you had laptop troubles, you should really consider writing/backing up your work on a place like Google Drive for example. For writing such as the ones we do, its docs is good enough. :)
Date: May 21 2015 8:19 PM Title: Prologue
Hah, sorry man, I just thought pastebin would be faster. Didn't know it wasn't copying italics and stuff over.
If you create a DA, lemme know so I can follow you!
Author's Response:
I actually created one about a year ago. Same name.
Should I upload there aswell? Let me try and put a picture of Laura and Janna up, see if you can find it.
Date: May 21 2015 10:08 AM Title: Prologue
Np man. Just kerp writing! :)
If you want the best solution, it would be DeviantArt. If you copy it over from there, it'll save everything, italics too but also any identations. That's how I do it on my stories.
Author's Response:
Well, you should have said that in the first place :P
[Report This]Date: May 20 2015 9:07 AM Title: Prologue
I predict their Steve will survive, but as for the other two females... lesbian party :D
Date: May 19 2015 11:36 AM Title: Prologue
Hey man, haven't read the chapter yet, but I think you could solve the issue by first copy/paste-ing the text on pastebin, then from pastebin to gtsw. Here's the link:
http://pastebin.com/
Author's Response:
Thanks! That actually fixed it, only it removed the all the italic that I had put in. Leaving it like that for now until I find an even better solution. Thanks again, I owe you.
Date: October 16 2014 4:35 AM Title: Prologue
Wow, man! Seriously! A 30k-words chapter! O_O
Haven't read it yet, so I really recommend you to break it up into 5k pieces and post them individually, 30k is like a third of a fullblown novel.
[Report This]Date: July 08 2014 12:39 PM Title: Prologue
Janna's really taking a turn for the sadistic there.
Author's Response:
True. I was going against changing her character but then it turned out this way. Her intentions are still pure though, still wanting to help the little people by putting 'good' Sir Ludwig in as king. I think at some point she is going to find out that she is making a mistake.