Reviews For A Fly On the Wall
You must login (register) to review.
Reviewer: wty123 Anonymous [Report This]
Date: November 30 2016 6:01 PM Title: Chapter 1: Magical Snails

First, ipad mini cases the air max person versace outlet is jordan retro better bengals jerseys to mavericks jerseys live ray bans pretty hermes belt nice!Second, nike air huarache when pandora charms the new balance outlet pants oakley lost nike air max the mcm handbags belt, uggs outlet and hollister co understand juicy couture what nfl jerseys is minnesota timberwolves jersey called uggs dependency.Third, cheap jerseys some jordan shoes things, nike mercurial vapor which jimmy choo is michael kors clearly raiders jerseys wrong michael kors purses can mcm backpack go packers jerseys to handbags outlet insist, lac jersey as rayban reconciled; toms outlet some louboutin people, nike huarache knowing nike free that philipp plein clothing love michael kors uhren is nike running also prada outlet going rams jerseys to uggs outlet give adidas.se up, tory burch sandals because redskins jerseys no falcons jerseys end; ralph lauren factory store sometimes, swarovski crystal though adidas yeezy shoes not coach factory outlet online the rolex watches way cheap jerseys still burberry outlet store the new balance first suns jersey line, coach outlet as giuseppe zanotti used titans jerseys to pandora charms .Fourth, nike huarache each okc jerseys person uggs black friday is burberry born ugg boots when michael kors outlet the puma shoes outlet original, ray ban zonnebril sadly, michael jordan many polo ralph lauren people longchamp handbags gradually cheap jerseys became designer handbags pirates!Fifth, burberry outlet store busy ugg australia is kate spade a pandora bracelet blessing, michael kors outlet online sale let kate spade handbags us coach black friday no air jordan shoes time relojes to nba jerseys feel converse shoes pain; michael kors black friday run mcm bags around ugg australia is vans outlet a denver nuggets jerseys pleasure, ny jersey let replica watches the north face outlet real burberry handbags outlet experience orlando magic jersey life; new orleans pelicans jersey fatigue oakley sunglasses is true religion outlet a celine outlet pleasure, nike air max let detroit pistons us burberry no oakley frogskins time iphone 4s cases to ralph lauren online shop empty.Six, replica rolex life burberry is nike soccer shoes like seahawks jerseys "breathing", portland trail blazers jersey "call" michael kors is cheap oakley to adidas superstar out oakley of nike schoenen breath, thomas sabo "suck" replica watches it burberry outlet store is fendi to texans jerseys fight abercrombie and fitch kids for polo outlet store breath.Seven, puma online shop marriage ray ban wayfarer is lunette ray ban to michael kors outlet online give hermes birkin bag freedom eagles jerseys to timberland wear oakley sunglasses pieces 49ers jerseys of bcbg max cotton, ralph lauren outlet online activities cavaliers jersey inconvenient, oakley but true religion outlet it valentino outlet will toms.com be michael kors australia very marc by marc jacobs warm.Eight, michael kors uk a nfl jerseys person adidas shoes can nike air force go the north face far, womens clothing depending nba jerseys on nike air max who abercrombie kids he longchamp peers; roshes how ugg australia good toms outlet online a asics person, new balance shoes depending michael kors on polo ralph lauren who kate spade he moncler mens jackets pointing; montre homme how air max successful coach purses outlet a nike.se person, woolrich womens jackets depending giuseppe zanotti sneakers on north face who eyeglasses stores he swarovski online shop accompanied.Nine, omega watches sigh bills jerseys is michael kors handbags a salvatore ferragamo waste polo ralph lauren outlet online of indiana pacers jersey time, the north face outlet crying new balance is air max a hilfiger outlet waste bears jerseys of michael kors outlet effort longchamp handbags acts.X. juicy couture outlet boss ray ban sunglasses when coach factory outlet online you're ray-ban sunglasses using armani outlet online your steelers jerseys talent, true religion jeans men do burberry outlet online not cheap shoes you, chiefs jerseys when zapatillas nike it easton bats becomes red bottom a coach bags outlet (cut) dre headphones people!XI nike roshe run reason mizuno running shoes why rolex people gooses tired lacoste shirts of vikings jerseys living, ralph lauren because ugg boots the jordan shoes shelf memphis grizzlies jersey does tommy hilfiger online not michael kors v?skor fit, timberland outlet do swarovski not azcardinals jerseys tear ugg australia open celtics jersey face, nike store inextricably abercrombie complex.Twelve, polo ralph lauren outlet humor ray ban outlet is ugg a hollister clothing man oakley outlet cry, abercrombie and fitch there purses and handbags was christian louboutin uk a chi hair laughing burberry outlet online mood!Live oakley sunglasses beautiful, fivefingers is christian louboutin living nfl jerseys out louboutin shoes a converse outlet spirit, pandora jewellery australia a mbt womens shoes taste, los angeles lakers a cheap oakley sunglasses Emotion converse sneakers to asics gel really ray ban uk wonderful, hogan as new balance long coach outlet online as barbour jacket outlet a toms shoes outlet person hilfiger online shop does washington wizards jersey not air max thea give ugg boots up marc by marc jacobs on ralph lauren outlet itself, chargers jerseys I timberland boots believe tory burch handbags that tory burch no toms shoes outlet one ralph lauren can cheap jerseys impede polo outlet online your north face backpacks progress, montblanc you michael kors have nike roshe run to north face jackets believe prada in cheap oakley sunglasses yourself, moncler women jackets treat salomon schuhe yourself soccer shoes outlet to saints jerseys life toms shoes outlet colorful, converse chucks make true religion jeans women your barbour mens jackets life atlanta hawks jerseys more rayban exciting!You celine outlet do tory burch sandals not ugg have adidas sneakers talented, oakley sunglasses outlet you nike shoes must buccaneers jerseys know oakley sunglasses the hollister online rationale; miami heat do ralph lauren outlet online not ferragamo have retro jordans standard polo ralph lauren features, michael kors bags you uggs on sale must dsquared2 outlet have thomas sabo uk a tommy hilfiger outlet unique long champ temperament, purses and handbags when north face canada you michael kors outlet have burberry outlet online a rayban healthy reebok rosy nike store cheeks, barbour jackets when ravens jerseys you ralph lauren never burberry sale behave warriors jerseys radiant prada handbags energy, michael kors bags when jimmy choo outlet you uhren shop smile bcbg max azria like p90x3 the cheap ray ban warm burberry online shop sun dolphins jerseys in air max 90 winter, dre beats when hermes outlet you nj jerseys inadvertently adidas concern ugg boots around nike roshe run people oakley sunglasses and longchamp things, red bottom when oakley sunglasses cheap you kate spade bags consistently mcm handbags maintained cheap oakley sunglasses open-minded swarovski australia demeanor, ferragamo shoes this michael kors is air max 2014 your hugo boss outlet online charm.No coach outlet online matter nike factory how the north face much rolex watches pressure nike running shoes to ray ban sunglasses outlet be browns jerseys beautiful hollisterco to longchamp outlet live, colts jerseys not michael kors handbags because rolex replica of nike air max his north face jackets worry, tommy hilfiger canada his michael kors handbags annoying coach outlet sale things, ray ban pas cher so barbour womens jackets that nike air max their ralph lauren polo battered beats audio every guess bags day nike blazers to hogan sito ufficiale make utah jazz jersey themselves pandora canada miserable, supra footwear no cheap basketball shoes smile, nike running shoes no gafas oakley sincere insanity workout calendar affection, ray bans no nike fu?ballschuhe thick levis jeans affection, cheap michael kors some hollister sad toms shoes to cheap nike shoes see nike.com you, coach usa you canada gooses are adidas superstar not uggs canada happy, abercrombie.com so airmax the swarovski crystal feelings burberry sale of coach bags outlet others hornets jersey will michael kors also beats by dre headphones be oakley sunglasses cheap your nike tn infection, cheap nfl jerseys so longchamp taschen the sacramento kings day true religion was michaelkors.com with prada shoes a nike.dk bad ray ban occhiali mood adidas online shop today, calvin klein outlet something ray ban sunglasses very michael kors unfavorable, ed hardy clothing whenever cowboys jerseys this ralph lauren black friday time, ghd there nike air max will babyliss flat iron be abercrombie and fitch a ralph lauren polo lot nike air max thea of chi flat iron people prada outlet feeling oakley sunglasses outlet that red bottom shoes why adidas zx flux himself ray ban outlet so burberry outlet bad sunglasses for women today, bottega veneta what jaguars jerseys Zuosa polo outlet flow, nike roshe run in swarovski jewelry fact, houston rockets to vans schuhe put 76ers jerseys it longchamp outlet another polo ralph lauren way, www.tommyhilfiger.nl for spurs jerseys a wedding dress state ray ban wayfarer of roshe run

true religion jeans outlet mcm handbags giants jerseys coach bags outlet broncos jerseys jets jerseys coach outlet cheap jerseys panthers jerseys coach outlet online milwaukee bucks jersey barbour jackets veneta toronto raptors jersey toms shoes outlet oakley sunglasses tommy hilfiger timberland outlet easton bats ugg australia michael kors outlet northface coach black friday ray ban outlet michael kors outlet online coach factory online lions jerseys nike free 5.0 jordans for sale instyler ionic styler replica watches nike store uk michael kors handbags vans shoes bulls jerseys pandora patriots jerseys abercrombie givenchy shoes outlet michael kors outlet air jordan retro

 

Reviewer: Bug Lover Signed [Report This]
Date: May 17 2016 9:35 AM Title: Chapter 9: what Now?

what the hell is up with the giant action?

Reviewer: Bug Lover Signed [Report This]
Date: May 17 2016 9:14 AM Title: Chapter 3: Some sexy changing room action

Boo leave knats alone

Reviewer: Bug Lover Signed [Report This]
Date: May 17 2016 9:04 AM Title: Chapter 1: Magical Snails

Damn poor snail almost got crushed by a male, snails don't deserve that.

Reviewer: Mobster Signed [Report This]
Date: July 11 2014 10:45 PM Title: Chapter 21: Back to the BooBs

Could you do trapped in a sock, or have a giantess or giant notice him and toy with him? Thanks

Reviewer: soniti54 Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: June 21 2014 11:14 AM Title: Chapter 16: Changing Scenes

This was entertaining! It strays away from my usual box, but has been humorous and clever along the way. The casual narration style works perfectly for setting the mood. I think I was most impressed by the phenomenal sentence structure you seem to have a gift for. The overall structure and transitions are surprisingly well organized considering the nature of the story. Though as semantics go, there are bound to be a few details that could be optimized, but that's hardly relevant for casual-fun writing!

I think the weakest point would be the minor characters-- I tend to look for strong characters in stories. It can be a hinderance when dialogue is limited given Nick's circumstances as well as managing the balance between developing characters and advancing the story, but honestly with as little time you spent on each minor character you did an excellent job creating their image as Nick moved from setting to setting. Either introducing reoccurring characters or reintroducing and further developing previous minor characters I think would help fill that gap.

Pardon the long review (sort of looks more like a critique now that I think about it), but I do very much admire your writing skills! I'll look forward to future content!

 



Author's Response:

Thanks for the critique soniti! And by the way, I love long reviews, so don't feel bad.

And i agree with you on the character standpoint. I like Nick, but i feel like you never realy get to know him that well, or any other character for that matter. I'm almost done with this story (only like3 or 4 more chapters) so i don't know if i will have time to fix that. Even if i can't, thats just something to improve next time!

Reviewer: lilguyunderfoot Signed [Report This]
Date: June 19 2014 6:51 AM Title: Chapter 1: Magical Snails

this is a fun one

Reviewer: TheSilentOne Signed [Report This]
Date: June 09 2014 4:45 PM Title: Chapter 11: Almost at the end

Hopefully he comes out the other end.  Most takes on the digestive system (and I've seen a few) cop out and have the subject being burped up or something.  That's no fun at all.



Author's Response:

I got bored just thinking about that. Na, were going all the way here.

Reviewer: TheSilentOne Signed [Report This]
Date: June 09 2014 7:38 AM Title: Chapter 1: Magical Snails

The chapter numbering I think causes some needless confusion. I would just renumber them in order, and rename that chapter to what it's about.  The explanation at the beginning is enough to know you had some more stuff written, but it didn't flow well and so you didn't post it, we don't really need the chapter outline to do that.



Author's Response:

Yeah, good points about the names and such. I will go back and fix that. Thing is, I added stuff to this kinda randomly, so my chapters numbers are way off.

And i didn't take things out because they didn't flow right. I just never wrote them. Thought it would be a funny way to move the story along.

Reviewer: Lupe Signed [Report This]
Date: June 08 2014 1:16 PM Title: Chapter 1: Magical Snails

Just saw this story. Interesting ideas! Wonder if he's really taking the whole tour through her body haha

Author's Response:

Thanks for the comment, and yes he will get to see everything! At least the fun stuff.

Reviewer: Mr E Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 05 2014 11:32 AM Title: Chapter 9: what Now?

The fat fly and the snails conversation made me laugh. I'm not into animal intraction but those were witty moments. especially the fly not understanding why he was rejected.  

You had me on edge waiting for him to fly into someones food the whole chapter, but at least I have something to look forward to in the next chapter.



Author's Response:

Thanks for the comliment. Its always nice to know that things are coming acros the way you want them to. And don't worry, you will not have to wait long.

Reviewer: Chloe13 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 03 2014 7:37 PM Title: Chapter 1: Magical Snails

I have read quite a few tranformation stories and most normally lack the detail to make the scenario interesting. Your story is a little weirder since it is an animal tranformation which again is something you don't see much of.

 

I must say though that your story idea is well executed details are good the story is good and the things happening to our little fly are so well described that I will admit it has managed to exite me.

 

It is good different but good

 

-Chloe



Author's Response:

Chloe, thank you for the praise! Whenever I wright something, I try to make it as interesting as possible. I’m glad others are able to enjoy it.

Reviewer: Mr E Signed [Report This]
Date: June 02 2014 7:42 PM Title: Chapter 1: Magical Snails

I was going to say add anything butt related but then I saw your response to lost soul.

so I guess i'll change my answer to...... idk anything to do with female giantesses. hopefully one of the girls, if not many girls gets to eat him and he does a full tour of their body, partially immune to their stomach acids. I like the idea of a happy ending but he's going to have to go through a lot to achieve that.



Author's Response:

I got'cha. I think what i'm going to do is add some more animal interactions (I do like animals) then go back to more normal giantess stuff, like butt and vore. And i already wrote a chapter with full tour in it, so its only a matter of time until that pops up.

Reviewer: zol Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: June 01 2014 2:29 PM Title: Chapter 8: The slow digesting process

Totally in love with the plot :') I still hope youll could do an unfortunate ending, I know you said you didnt want to. Maybe you can do two endings, one "happy ending" and one not? Maybe one where he ends as bird poop haha :x I also had another idea for the fly. Maybe there could be a chapter with a police horse patrole, and him ending near one of the horses rear ends when it's lift its tail, could also be en ending idea, where one of the two horses says there is a pesky fly around his rear really bothering him and lifting its tail doesnt swish it away, and he asks his horse friend to deal with it, which does so in using his mouth to snap/lick for it and swallowing the fly. The irony would be, that the fly would end as horse manure.



Author's Response:

I love the horse idea! And that would fit so perfectly into this to. I will try very hard to include that.

And i'm going to be honest, don't love the unfortunate ending thing. I want this story to have a happy tone to it. That bieng said, i might be open to writting an alternate ending. I mean, why not?

Reviewer: Noodlefanboy25 Signed [Report This]
Date: May 31 2014 5:52 PM Title: Chapter 1: Magical Snails

Great story

Author's Response:

Thanks Noodle!

Reviewer: LostSoul Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: May 17 2014 6:27 PM Title: Chapter 1: Magical Snails

I really liked the changing room seen, a bit more description would be even better. I feel this would be a whole lot better if you stuck to interactions with giant women instead of birds, but it's your story, so it's your choice. Boobs/butt and maybe giant articles of clothing are my favorite. :) Good story concept nonetheless.



Author's Response:

Thanks for the comment! I know what your saying, but boobs/butt things have been done so much befor. I want to try something new. Don't worry though, it is only going to be for a chapter or two, then we switch back to humans!

Reviewer: Mr E Signed [Report This]
Date: May 16 2014 12:51 PM Title: Chapter 4: Woops, I guess this is the chapter with the changing room

you were clear. i know you had more to post but I wish you werent finished so you could keep adding more ideas to the story even though they werent posted yet.

if you want to meet on the egiantess chat for ideas pick a time. 



Author's Response:

Oh! Now i understand. But no worries! This is a very... i guess a good word would be loose, story. There realy isn't a set plot line that i need to follow, so i can add things pretty much anywhere. Like a couple comments ago someone mentioned getting eaten by a bird. It was no challenge to put that in at all.

Reviewer: Mr E Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: May 14 2014 4:40 PM Title: Chapter 4: Woops, I guess this is the chapter with the changing room

WHAT! you finished it! this story has so much potential! do you need ideas? because i can give you some and I know there are tons of other reviewers who have requests too.

 

This chapter was cool because what voyeur doesnt like a changing room scene. I was surprised he he survived ashleys boot so easily but i guess Carlys stomp made up for it.



Author's Response:

Oh, did i not make it clear? I finished writting it, but i still need to post a bunch. So far, this is less than half.Still, if you have any sugestions, shoot.

You know this was actualy the first time i ever wrote a changing room scene? When i was writting the story, I wasn't even planning on putting it in. It just kinda popped into my head midway through the chapter. Worked out well though.

 

Reviewer: Mr E Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: May 14 2014 2:51 PM Title: Chapter 1: Magical Snails

Great idea having him be immortal so there can be many deaths without introducing different characters and having to write little background stories for them. The possibilities are endless and I'm looking forward to many different deaths and body parts to be trapped in.

I dont know about this macle character. he made him immortal but I still think hes up to no good.



Author's Response:

Thanks Mr E! It realy does get anoying trying to write backstories. I realy hate them. Just get to the action! And interesting observation about Macle. I wonder if thats true or not. *snicker*

Reviewer: TheSilentOne Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: May 10 2014 4:55 PM Title: Chapter 3: Some sexy changing room action

Another very funny chapter.  The only thing that doesn't make sense is the title.  Did this chapter used to contain something else, or do I just have a very different opinion of what constitutes a "changing room"?



Author's Response:

I'm glad you actualy found it funny! And thanks for the review. As with the title, it actualy ties in with the next chapter. I was going to post them together, but then i changed some things in the other one, didn't correct it yet, but still wanted to post stuff.

You must login (register) to review.